You’ll Be Just Like Me

by RB_

Rating: teen
Tags: Gallus, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Ocellus, Horror, Thorax
Length: 4250

Ocellus wakes up with holes in her legs.

Ocellus is home for spring break. She doesn't like being home. There are memories there. Ones she'd rather not dredge up.

Preread by the fantastic Perfectly Insane!

Published 2023-10-31 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-10-31 00:00:00 UTC

Larva

"So, you excited to be going back to the hive?"

Ocellus finished folding her sheets and laid them neatly on the end of her bed.

"Yeah, I guess," she said. "What about you, Smoulder?"

"Oh yeah," Smoulder said, her own screwed up bedsheets right where she'd left them waking up. "I can't wait to get back to The Dragon Lands. Rocks and fire as far as the eye can see. Perfect."

"Yona can never tell if Smoulder is being sarcastic about Dragon Lands," Yona said from her end of the room.

"And that's just the way I like it."

It was summer vacation time at The School of Friendship, and the students were preparing to head home for the break. The dorms were a bustling hub of activity, and residents kept passing by the open door to the trio's room with bags on their backs. Excited voices, muffled by distance and walls, filled the air.

Ocellus couldn't blame them. Personally, though, she'd rather be here, where things were... simpler.

"Yona can't wait to get back to Yakyakistan!" Yona said, stomping her belongings down so they'd fit in her trunk (and making the floor shake by doing so). “Yakyakistan best!”

Smoulder raised an eye-crest. "Yeah. I can tell." She turned to Ocellus' trunk, already closed and locked. "Are you all packed already?"

"Yep!" Ocellus chirped. "I got most of it done this morning. I keep my stuff pretty well organized, so it was easy!"

Smoulder grumbled. "Lucky you."

Silver Stream looked up from her own bags, which she'd been fixated on. "Are you sure you got everything? It doesn't hurt to double check! Here, let me take a look!"

She abruptly took to the air and swooped over to Ocellus' drawers and began opening each one.

"Nothing in here, nothing in here, nothing in here..." She pulled out the final drawer. "Nothing in... huh? What's all this?"

The other girls, their interests piqued, craned their necks to look. Inside the drawer was a collection of... well, of junk. Assorted papers, objects, and other things that would have passed as trash had been crammed inside, filling the entire space.

"Why do you have a bunch of garbage in your drawers?" Smoulder asked. "The trash can's right there."

"It's not garbage!" Ocellus said. She was smiling. "It's treasure!"

She pushed her way past the others and rummaged inside.

"This is a test that we all took together," she said, holding up a piece of paper (with an A on it, it was Ocellus), "and this is a baseball Gallus hit out into the stands in gym class! I had to do some crawling for that one. Oh, and Smoulder, this is that textbook you accidentally torched last month!"

"She's never going to let that one go," the resident dragon muttered.

"I didn't know you were such a hoarder, Ocellus!" Silverstream said. "Y'know, our princess is a hoarder too! She mostly just hoards seashells, though."

Ocellus blushed. "I just... like to keep reminders of all the fun times I've had with all of you, that's all."

"Aw! Ocellus sweet!" Yona swept Ocellus into a hug. Smoulder and Silverstream looked on, grinning.

"What are we hugging about?" came a voice from the door. They all turned to look. It was Sandbar, followed by Gallus, who had a duffle bag over his shoulder.

Ocellus disengaged from the hug and pushed the drawer closed with her hindleg. "Nothing in particular. Are you guys all packed?"

"Well, my parents live in Ponyville, so I didn't have to do much packing," Sandbar said. "But Gallus is all packed and ready for his internship with the royal guard!"

"Don't call it an internship," Gallus said, elbowing the colt.

"What do you want me to call it then?"

"Something cooler. Anything cooler."

"I can't wait to hear what Canterlot is like!" Silverstream said. "You're so lucky!"

"It's only because Headmare Twilight set it up," Gallus said, rubbing his elbow. "Not like I had anything better to do over the break."

"I'm happy for you, Gallus," Ocellus said, beaming. The conversation was good for her.

It was a distraction from the churning in her stomach at the thought of going home.

"Ocellus!"

Ocellus touched down at the entrance to the hive, her trunk in tow. She looked to the source of the voice and immediately bowed.

Thorax gave an awkward chuckle. "C'mon, you know you don't have to do that. Please don't… do that."

Ocellus rose out of her bow. "Sorry. Force of habit."

The hive was looking good, she thought, glancing around. Some greenery had been planted around the entrance, and banners had been hung. It looked inviting. Very different to how it had been just a few years before.

"Here, let me take your suitcase," Thorax said, enveloping the trunk in his magic. "I'll walk you to your parents'."

They headed into the hive. The interior was a bustling hub of activity, changelings of all colours going this way and that, walking or flying to their destinations. The hive was dense, structurally, full of twists and turns and rooms and chambers. It had been built that way on purpose, both to facilitate the changeling lifestyle and to confuse intruders. Deceit was in the changelings' very nature. Much like the entrance, though, it had been decorated and made welcoming.

Ocellus and Thorax made their way through the halls. Ocellus could feel their eyes on them, though she dared not look back. Instead, she focused on her king.

"The hive looks good," she said.

"Thank you," Thorax replied. "We've been putting a lot of effort into turning it into more of a home. Making it feel a little more friendly, you know?"

"Well it's working," Ocellus said with a smile.

A group of changelings bowed as they passed. Thorax did that awkward laugh again. "You don't have to do that, really."

"You are their king," Ocellus said.

"Yeah, but it doesn't feel right," Thorax said. "I'm only king because I was the first to share love. Before that I was just a normal drone."

"Drone or not, you're king now," Ocellus replied. "And I don't think any of us could ask for a better leader."

Thorax smiled. "Thank you, Ocellus. That means a lot."

They turned a corner.

"How is the school treating you?" Thorax asked.

"Great!" Ocellus chirped. "I love it there."

"And your friends?"

"Of course! I love all of them."

"That's wonderful! Ah, here we are."

They stopped outside of Ocellus' home, which was really just another chamber of the hive that they'd claimed. It had a door now; it hadn't before. Just a sloppy wooden one with a little window carved out.

"Well, I'd better go say hello to Elytra and Scute," Ocellus said, taking her trunk back from Thorax's magical grasp. "Thank you for walking me here."

"No problem," Thorax replied. "Oh, um, there was one other thing I wanted to ask you."

"Oh?"

"We, um..." he began. "We found another of Chrysalis' stashes hidden in the back tunnels of the hive."

Ocellus did her best to feign neutrality. "And?"

"I was hoping you would help us sort through it," Thorax said. "If you're okay with that, that is. After all, it is technically, y'know..."

He left the last word to Ocellus’ imagination.

"Sure," Ocellus said. "That'd be fine."

Thorax smiled. "Thank you. I'll come pick you up tomorrow. Now, go say hi to your parents for me."

"You know they aren't really my parents."

"I know," he said, with a pained expression. "But I hope you'll still think of them as family."

"I do."

"Good," he said, nodding. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye Thorax!"

The larger changeling split his wing casing and took off into the air. Ocellus watched as he trailed off into the distance.

Sighing, she turned around and headed inside.

Pupa

As Ocellus rounded the corner of the dark tunnel that Thorax had been leading her down, she was immediately struck by the size of the stash.

"That's a big one," she said aloud.

"Sure is," Thorax said. "It's the biggest one yet."

Piles of stuff littered the chamber as far back as Ocellus could see. Gold, jewelry, paintings, parchment, all haphazardly amassed with little care for organization (at least, as far as she could tell). Some of the piles were stacked up almost to the ceiling.

Several changelings were already sifting through the contents of the room. More organized stacks of items had been laid out in the mouth of the chamber, where they had been sorted for further investigation. They looked up at the newcomers, then quickly looked away when they saw who it was.

Except for one. A changeling with a blue shell. He just kept staring. Ocellus fought to not look at him.

Thorax scanned the room. "Where is... ah! Arista! Over here!"

A green-shelled changeling looked up at the sound of his name and headed over to them.

"Hello Thorax," he said amicably. "Ocellus."

"Ocellus, this is Arista," Thorax said. "He's in charge here."

"Nice to meet you," Ocellus said, sticking out a hoof. Arista shook it firmly.

"Likewise," he said. "Are you here to help? We could always use more 'lings."

Ocellus nodded. He smiled.

"Good! Here, I'll show you what we're doing."

He led her over to the sorting piles and began explaining their functions. Behind them, Thorax headed back the way they'd came.

"This pile's for valuables. Gold, gems, that sort of thing. This one's for paintings and art, this one's for documents... Chrysalis had a lot of maps, as it turns out.

"...And this pile," Arista said, "is for everything we don't know how to sort."

He gestured at the odd collection of items. Ocellus could see a few globes. Some clothing, all different sizes. An ornate candlestick, but not ornate enough to be valuable. A wooden cup. A tree branch, slightly burned on one end. More such items, each as strange as the last.

"Why did she have all this?" Ocellus asked. "Most of this is just—"

"Garbage?" Arista said. He chuckled. "Who knows. One 'ling's trash is another 'ling's treasure, right?"

"It's not garbage!" Ocellus said. She was smiling. "It's treasure!"

"Anyway," Arista said. If he'd noticed the expression that had appeared on Ocellus' face, he didn't say anything. "Pick a pile and get sorting!"

Ocellus slowly closed the door to her family's home and sighed.

It had been a long day's work, sorting the piles, and all it had brought her was unpleasant memories and aching legs. And they'd still barely made a dent in the stash, even all working together.

And that blue changeling had kept staring at her...

"Welcome home."

Ocellus looked up. It was Elytra, with the twins on her back. Her sisters. Sort of.

Ocellus smiled. "Hello."

"You look tired."

"I was helping sort through that stash they found in the back tunnels," she said. "Thorax asked me to."

Elytra frowned. "I wish he'd be more considerate of your feelings."

"He's doing his best. How have the twins been today?"

"Oh they're just lovely," Elytra said. One of them had climbed onto her head. She smiled as she looked up at him. "Haven't made a peep all day."

"That's good."

"Well, I won't keep you," Elytra said, stepping aside. "You look like you could use a nap."

Ocellus nodded. "I think I will."

She slipped past and further into their domicile, to her room. The bed there was a simple one, but it was comfortable enough. She laid down and almost immediately went to sleep.

As he mind drifted off, one last phrase, conjured up from a memory, drifted across her consciousness like a leaf on a pond.

You'll be just like me.

Ocellus's eyes fluttered open. Her sleep had been uneventful. No dreams; no nightmares. Just black.

Groaning, she raised her head from her pillow and stretched her forelegs out. The light was dim, but the lone candle in the room flickered off her carapace.

She looked at her legs. Blinked.

They were full of holes.

Ocellus just stared at them for a few moments. She reached over with one leg and ran her hoof around the largest hole on the other.

It wasn't a trick of the light.

Ocellus yelped. A green fire enveloped her limbs and suddenly they were whole again. She checked them again just to make sure.

"Ocellus?"

Ocellus' head snapped up. Scute stood in the doorway.

"Is everything alright? It sounded like you were shouting..."

"No!" she said, too quickly. Ingrained lessons on controlling her emotions from when she was a child kicked in, and she steadied herself. "I'm fine. Just had a nightmare."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Alright," Scute said. "I'm just down the hall if you need me, remember."

"I know."

He left, leaving Ocellus alone again.

The blue-shelled changeling was still staring.

Ocellus tried her best to ignore them as she continued sorting through the pile, but she kept sneaking glances back. And she could feel his eyes on her.

So she focused on the object in the pile closest to her. It was a wooden box, about as big as a shoebox. Nothing ornate about it, just wood and iron hinges.

Curious, Ocellus cracked it open.

Inside was a doll.

It was a little pony doll, ragged, made of different colours and textures of cloth. One of the legs had been torn off. The neck had a hole in it, and a little stuffing poked out.

Ocellus choked. She dropped the box and stepped away from it, one hoof going to her mouth. The box clattered to the floor, the sound echoing off the smooth walls of the chamber.

"Ocellus? Everything alright?" Arista asked, from behind her. Ocellus couldn't answer. Her mind was a million miles and many years away.

Arista put a hoof on her shoulder. "Ocellus? Are you not feeling okay?"

Ocellus nodded.

"Why don't you go sit down," he said, gently guiding her away from the pile... and the box.

All the while, the blue-shelled changeling stared.

Ocellus sat just outside the chamber. The dark tunnel extended in both directions as far as she could see.

Her heart hammered in her chest. The doll was still affecting her. She tried to calm her emotions but she couldn't. So she closed her eyes and focused on her breathing.

Ocellus had always found meditation beneficial. It was easy to do and did wonders for the mind. Even if it was a pony invention.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

She'd just had a bit of a panic. That was all. She hadn't expected the doll to be there and seeing it had startled her. That was all.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

That was all.

In. Out.

She was feeling better.

In. Out—

...ust like me...

Ocellus' ear flicked.

In. Out.

In. Out.

You'll be... like me...

That hadn't sounded like it had come from inside the chamber.

...just like...

It had sounded like it had come from down the tunnel.

"You'll be just like me."

Ocellus’ eyes snapped open. Her head whipped to the side. Someone had spoken into her ear...

But there was no one there.

"Ocellus? Thorax is here to see you."

It was Elytra's voice. Ocellus rolled over in bed.

"Okay."

Thorax strolled into the room. Ocellus quickly sat up in her bed.

"Hello Ocellus." There was concern in his voice. "Are you not feeling well? I can come back..."

"No," Ocellus said. "It's fine."

"Okay. If you say so."

He sat down on the floor across from her.

"Can we talk?"

"Isn't that what we're doing right now?"

Thorax chuckled.

"I'll get right to the point, then," he said. "I want you to succeed me as leader of the changelings."

Ocellus stared at him dully.

"Not right now, of course," he said. "But later. Once you're older."

"I-I..." Ocellus stammered. "Why?"

"You know why."

"B-but that was before!"

"You have more right to the black throne than I do," Thorax said. "I'm just a drone. You were—"

"No!" Ocellus shrieked, causing Thorax to flinch. "I have no right! I don't want it! I gave that up when I became like you!"

She was crying. When was the last time she'd cried?

"I'm not just saying it because of that," Thorax said, holding up his hooves to appease her. "You're smart, you're capable, you're kind... you'd be a great leader, I'm sure of it!"

"No!" Ocellus cried. "You're mistaken! You don't know anything about me! I'm just like—"

You'll be just like me.

She shook her head.

"Ocellus, please—"

"Thorax?" came Elytra's stern voice from the doorway. "What are you doing to my daughter?"

Thorax flinched. "Nothing. I just..."

“Maybe you should leave.”

He sighed.

"Alright. I'll go. But please, Ocellus, think about it. That's all I ask."

And he left, leaving Ocellus alone.

A child stood in a dimly lit room with smooth walls. The candlelight flickered and glinted off her black chitin.

As her mother watched, the child readied herself to strike, her tiny limbs coiling. In one smooth motion, she pounced, her fangs sinking into the object of her attention: a small stuffed doll. A mockery of a pony.

The child whipped her neck back and forth. Stuffing flew out of the doll's neck.

"Very good!" her mother said, and the child turned to look at her. She looked up and up, but she couldn't find her mother's face.

"You'll be just like me."

Ocellus' eyes shot open just in time to see the glint of the knife.

Reacting with instincts drilled into her since she was a child, she brought her right hoof up. Without her even thinking, it was engulfed in flame and became sharp like a spear.

She wasn't even fully conscious of the situation as she drove her weapon into the chest of the silhouette that stood over her.

The knife clattered to the floor. The silhouette coughed, and Ocellus felt something warm splash onto her face.

She pulled her hoof out of their chest, ringing in her ears. The figure stumbled backwards, tripped and sprawled to the floor.

Ocellus lit her horn.

It was the blue-shelled changeling. Blood pooled around him.

He was twitching.

“You’re just… like… her…” he croaked.

Ocellus looked down. Bright red dripped off of her hoof.

Her legs had holes in them.

She screamed.

"I'm so sorry," Thorax said. "I... I can't even begin to imagine what would have caused Mandible to do this."

Ocellus sat in the living room, blanket wrapped around her. She felt cold.

"Why would he want to kill me?" she said. "You know why."

"I thought all of us had welcomed you with open arms..."

"Of course not," Ocellus spat. "They know who I am. What I am. Who could forgive that?"

"I could. Your parents could."

"No one will now."

"It was self-defense Ocellus—"

"I killed him!" Ocellus said. "I didn't even know I was doing it, I just... did it automatically!"

She looked down. "I'm just like her, aren't I?"

"You're nothing like her."

Ocellus said nothing. Just stared at the ground.

Ocellus crept out of the entrance to the hive, a bag on her back. She cast one glance back at the place, then turned and took to the skies.

It took her several hours to get to her destination. Her wings ached. She didn't care. As she set down on the paved roads of Canterlot, she turned towards the castle. The sun was just starting to taint the eastern sky.

It was easy enough to sneak past the guards; she was a changeling, and deception was in her nature. She made her way into the gardens. Past hedges and trees, until she came to one particular statue.

It depicted three figures. A small pegasus filly. A centaur. And a changeling queen.

It was the latter whom she came to face.

Ocellus stared up at the petrified form of Chrysalis, the tyrant.

She smiled.

"Hello, mother," she said. "Did you miss me?"

Adult

"What am I saying, of course you didn't," Ocellus continued. "You didn't have it in you to."

She sighed. "Did you ever even love me, mother? Did you have the capacity for love? Sometimes I thought you showed it, but, well, you never did come back for me after you lost your empire."

She smirked. "Which I'm totally not bitter about."

Chrysalis was, of course, silent.

Ocellus slipped the bag on her back over her head and laid it down on the grass.

"I loved you though," she continued. "I did. When I was younger, before the change. Now, though, I despise you. Everything you were. Everything you stood for. There was a better way, and you ignored it."

From the bag, she retrieved two items.

"Did you know?" she asked the morning air. "Did you know that sharing love was an option? I choose to believe you didn't, but, well, who can say? You certainly aren't speaking up about it."

She sighed.

"But every time I think about you, all I can think about is one thing:"

She unscrewed the lid of the bottle of lantern oil.

"Am I going to end up the same way?"

She set the lid down on the grass.

"Thorax wants me to lead the changelings after him," Ocellus said. "Doesn't he know how dangerous of an idea that is? After all, you and I are more alike than he realizes. I know you were a bit off... mentally... towards the end. I can't afford to have that happen to me, too."

She lifted the bottle and poured its contents over her head.

"I'm not going to take that risk," she said.

She lifted up the box of matches. Pulled one out.

"Mother?"

The match sizzled as she struck it.

"I defy you."

She raised the match into the air over her head, closed her eyes, released her hold...

"OCELLUS!"

Someone tackled her from behind. The two of them rolled across the grass, her and her assailant, until they came to a stop with her on the ground and him pinning her.

Ocellus opened her eyes.

"What the heck are you doing?" Gallus asked, panic in his voice. "You could have burned to death!"

"That was the idea," Ocellus said dumbly. "Why are you...?"

"I spotted you on my way to morning drills," Gallus said. "What are you doing here? I thought you were at the hive!"

"I needed... to see my mother."

"Your mother?" Gallus glanced back at the statue. "Chrysalis is your mother!?"

Ocellus nodded. "You're talking to the once-princess of the changeling empire."

"That's... wow, okay," Gallus said. He shook his head. "That's not important. Why were you about to kill yourself?"

"I can't let there be another Chrysalis," Ocellus said simply. "I'm just like her."

"You're nothing like her."

"You don't know her, Gallus! I do! She—" Ocellus began to cry, her emotions finally boiling over. "We're more similar than you realize. I'm her daughter. Gallus, I killed a changeling yesterday."

“You… what?”

“He snuck into my bedroom and tried to stab me,” Ocellus rapidly explained. “And I killed him! Without even thinking about it! It was an instinct!”

“Then it was self defense,” Gallus said. “That’s not your fault, you were just protecting yourself!”

“I didn’t have to kill him! I could have, have, restrained him or something, but I didn’t! Just like my mother would have. I’m becoming—”

"You're not going to turn into Chrysalis!" Gallus shouted. "Not in a million years. We wouldn't let you."

Ocellus looked up at him. "We...?"

"Your friends!" Gallus said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "We're here for you, Ocellus! If something's going wrong we find a way to fix it. It's what we do! You don't have to go off and... and..."

Now he was the one crying.

"Promise me you won't do something like that again."

"But—"

"No buts! I want a Pinkie promise. Right here, right now."

Ocellus was silent for a few moments. Then, she brought her hoof up.

"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

Gallus let out a long sigh of relief. He rolled off Ocellus and onto his back, lying on the grass and staring up at the morning sky together with her.

"You really scared me there," he said.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

They were silent for a few moments.

"Drill instructor's going to kill me."

"You can go," Ocellus said.

"Nope," he replied. "Staying right here."

Ocellus smiled.

"Thank you."

"Ohmygosh Ocellus!"

Ocellus was abruptly swallowed in a feathery hug.

She grinned. "Hi Silverstream!"

They were in the girls' dorm room at the School of Friendship. Ocellus had just finished unpacking, and Silverstream was the first to arrive after her.

Silverstream released her from her embrace and set her back down on the floor.

"So!" she said. "How was your break?"

"Oh, you know," Ocellus said. "Uneventful. I got to spend some quality time with my mom and dad."

"That's so sweet! You know me too, but also I—"

As Silverstream launched into a stream-of-consciousness about her break, Ocellus couldn't help but smile.

Author's Note

But the spooky season doesn't have to end here! Check out Insomnia, another chilling tale by my good friend (and prereader of this fic) Perfectly Insane!