The Cutie Mark Crusaders Clubhouse was a familiar stomping ground for Babs and Discord, a fairly secluded place, perfect for planning.

“Well, just you and me, Dissy,” Babs said with a shrug, standing behind the podium that Apple Bloom usually used to direct the crusader meetings.

“A shame, really, now I won’t be able to sleep through the whole thing and pretend I was listening,” Discord teased, fitting himself around the rungs of the ladder.

“Yeah, sucks dat it’s just the two of us dis year,” Babs sighed. “...But at least we can both fit comfortably in da clubhouse!”

Discord eyed a rustling outside the window. “...Yes, plenty of room to stretch my legs, at least.”

“Kinda wish Apple Bloom was here, though,” Babs lamented, leaning against the podium to sigh. “Or Gabby. Not dat you ain’t fun, Discord, but schemin’s more fun when there’s more heads, ya know?”

“Oh, I agree.” Discord hummed, already raising up his claw. “I’m sure the two of us can conjure up some truly special plans, but with all the extra space, a third member would certainly make things more…”

With a snap of his fingers, an apple tree outside started to bend as if being blown by the mightiest winds, before snapping back upright, catapulting several apples, and one pink pegasus, right through the window and into the middle of the clubhouse.

“...Cozy.”

“Uh…heeeey!” Cozy Glow immediately struck the most casual pose she could while spattered with leaves, branches, and apple juice. “Fancy meeting you two here! Heh heh…”

Babs stepped down from the podium to help Cozy to her hooves. “The fuck are you doin’ here, girl?”

Discord looked down at the pegasus, not letting up on his glare. “Indeed. Unless you’ve truly flown the coop, I can’t imagine pretending to be a bird was on your to-do list today.”

“What, I can’t pay a visit to two good friends?” Cozy forced the biggest grin she could muster, but even she was starting to sweat nervously.

Even Babs had to raise an eyebrow. “Hidin’ in the trees ain’t exactly ‘payin a visit’, Coze.”

The facade quickly dropped. “Fine, fine. I was kinda hoping you two could help me out. Chrysalis is probably…definitely really mad at me for last year, and-Waugh!”

Discord plucked up Cozy Glow by the wings, walking her to the door like a trash bag. “Well, that simply sounds fascinating and not at all like our problem, so…ta-ta!”

“Discord, wait!” Babs called out right before Discord wound back for a football toss. “Can’t we help her out as a friend?”

Discord shot Babs a perplexed look, spinning Cozy to see her desperate smile. “...Ugh...” He unceremoniously tossed Cozy back down into the center of the room. “Fine, what exactly do you want from us?”

“Just making sure Chrysalis doesn’t kill me or anything,” Cozy plainly stated. “Not that I don’t deserve it or anything, but I’d like to do my scheming without needing to worry about her breathing down my neck!”

“Tch! What do we look like, bodyguards?” Discord scoffed. “What are we supposed to get in return for your ‘protection’?”

“Well, I’ve been cooking up some ideas for some of the other participants, though I can’t exactly execute them all by myself, if you know what I’m saying…” Cozy winked.

Babs immediately went to Cozy’s side. “Come on, Discord! A little more help ain’t gonna hurt us!”

Though the two mares giving him puppy-eyes did nothing to sway his heart, Discord reluctantly sighed and crossed his arms. “Ugh, fine. If there’s anything I know about Cozy, it’s how sadistic her plans are.”

“Aw, thanks, Dissy!” Cozy beamed.

Babs wrapped her hoof around Cozy, both of them slipping into their devilish mindset. “So, what was that about those plans you were cookin’ up?”

“Oh, I’m glad you asked! Let’s start with the newbies…”

As the two mares started laying out ideas and plots, Discord watched and rolled his eyes with a small smile. “Seems like the Cutie Mark Crusaders are accepting just about anyone these days…”

Captain Celaeno whistled to herself as she mopped up the deck of her ship. It was lonely out in the remote land between Equestria’s towns, and with the rest of her crew taking a break and leaving her to do her No Clop challenge in privacy, it felt a bit silly for her to consider herself a captain without a crew. But she still had her ship, and she needed it to look as good as possible. By sunrise tomorrow, she’d be taking off into the skies, touring all the different locales of all the other participants.

She put the mop back in the bucket, wiping the sweat off her forehead as she took a moment to admire the shining deck. “Phew…looking good!”

“I’ll say, you did a great job-”

Celeano immediately whipped around, drawing her sword from her scabbard and pointing it at the sudden new voice behind her.

At the other end of her blade was a stallion with frosted tips, who looked just as panicked as she was.

The deep tone she heard was now a high-pitched, shaky whimper. “U-Uuuhh…h-hi?”

Celaeno kept her sword out. The pony looked vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t be too sure. “You’ve got five seconds to explain yourself,” She warned, lifting up the stallion’s chin with the tip of her blade. “How did you get on my ship?”

Feather Bangs gulped, feeling the sharp poking right near his throat. “I…I just…c-climbed on board?”

Just as Feather Bangs tried to lower the blade with his hoof, it went right back underneath his chin.

“We’re pretty far from the nearest town…” Celaeno growled. “It’s hard to believe you’d just stumble across this ship…not unless you’ve been looking for me.”

“Actually, I kinda was-” Feather Bangs spoke, before immediately realizing that was probably not the best way to phrase it.

Celaeno stared daggers at the stallion. “Well then…you found me. Was it worth it?”

Feather Bangs felt the tip of the sword get closer to his throat. “Waitwaitwaitwait! This is a huge misunderstanding!”

Celaeno’s face softened, but kept her sword right where it was. “...I’m listening.”

“M-My name’s Feather Bangs, I-I’m also doing the No Clop November thing l-like you!” he tried to explain, his hooves trembling underneath him.

Celaeno tilted her head and squinted. Maybe this stallion did look a little familiar…

“I…just…wanted…to talk?”

Feather Bangs’s breathing was heavy and staggered with the steel still at his throat, until he finally felt some relief as Celaeno pulled her blade back.

“Alright then, Feather Bangs, I’m listening.”

Celaeno still looked angry, but at least the sword was sheathed.

“Alright, um…I just...wanted to…uh…” Feather Bangs’s entire body was still trembling. A cold sweat was dripping down his back.

He was fairly certain he had some lines ready to go before climbing aboard. Something about seeing her as a treasure and a ship sailing. But his mind was struggling to fill in the rest, and his mouth was barely getting out what his mind wanted to say.

Celaeno let out a slightly guilty sigh, crouching down to get to eye-level with the stallion. “I’m not gonna hurt you. Just…why’d you bother coming all the way here?”

“I-I…I just wanted to like…talk or something? I don’t know?”

“Well, we clearly got off on the wrong foot. Though I’m kinda impressed that you came all the way here just to talk.” She looked down at Feather’s hooves. “Maybe when you stop shaking, we can have that talk you wanted, alright?” she said, ruffling up his mane.

“O-Okay…”

Author's Note

At this point they should just rebrand to the Cutie Mark Conquerors.