Ponyville’s peaceful outdoor restaurant scene was promptly interrupted by a near-crash landing by Rainbow Dash.

The pegasus ignored the startled onlookers as she rushed over to one of the occupied tables. “Sorry girls, I’m not too late, am I?”

“It’s fine, Rainbow Dash, we already ordered for you,” Fluttershy said, tapping her hoof against the table. “Double hayburger with horseshoe fries.”

“Sweet!” Dash said as she sat down at the table.

“Sometimes I wish that fast and punctual meant the same thing in your world,” Twilight joked.

“Hey, it’s not my fault!” Dash said as she tried to defend herself. “I was speedreading through that last Daring Do chapter just to get here, alright?”

“Regardless, it’s still nice to spend time with you girls,” Twilight smiled, looking at Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. “After today, we’ll have made it through the first week!”

“Yeah,” Dash unenthusiastically nodded. “Kinda sucks that it’s just us this year, though. I feel like I’m third-wheeling.”

Fluttershy shot a look at Rainbow Dash, confused and slightly offended.

A sympathetic sigh left Twilight’s lips. “It does feel a bit empty without Pinkie Pie bouncing around and trying to set up the perfect way to have sex with all the winners in one night.”

“You’re just saying that cause you want her big box of toys,” Dash laughed, cutting right through Twilight’s wistful wondering.

“I can have multiple reasons!”

“Yeah, but having them play was fun,” Fluttershy added. “It just doesn’t feel the same with just the three of us.”

“Well, the good news is that we don’t have to worry about Rarity sabotaging any of our chances this year!” Rainbow Dash chuckled. “...I hope.” She quickly turned around in paranoia, just to make sure that Rarity wasn’t actually nearby.

“Still, I’d love to talk about this sort of stuff with Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie again,” Twilight said.

Rainbow Dash indignantly leaned her elbow on the table, raising an eyebrow. “While you make side-bets on me behind my back?”

“You’d be doing the same if Applejack lost every year,” Twilight pointed out.

“I…yeah.” Rainbow Dash shrugged, quickly conceding the point.

“Well, maybe someday…” Fluttershy giggled. “But if it’s just us three, we might as well make the most of it.”

“Agreed.”

As the three laughed, the waiter brought out their meals: a double hayburger with fries for Rainbow Dash, a cucumber wrap for Twilight, and a garden salad for Fluttershy.

After the trio took a few hearty bites to help fill their bellies, Twilight put her hooves on the table. “So, big question, what’s our main orgy goal this year?”

Without hesitation, Dash spoke up. “Easy! It’s gonna be me and Harshwhinny!” She puffed out her chest with pride. “Gonna break that uppity attitude and have her begging for more!”

“I don’t know, Rainbow Dash, Miss Harshwhinny seems more like the dominant type,” Fluttershy warned.

“Pssh, you think I’m worried about that?” Dash scoffed. “I’m sure she’s got some sort of weakness that’ll instantly turn her into a blushing mess!”

“Kinda like you whenever a pair of paws is in your face?” Twilight smirked.

Just the mere mention was enough to get Dash’s cheeks all red. “...Fuck you.”

Twilight noticed Fluttershy staring up at the sky, lost in thought, her hoof idly poking at her salad. “What about you, Fluttershy? Made any plans yet?”

“Oh! Well, nothing set in stone yet,” Fluttershy nervously tapped her hooves together with a sheepish giggle. “...but I did want to do a threesome with Tree Hugger and Discord this year.”

Dash tilted her head and cocked up an eyebrow. “What, you haven’t fucked Discord yet?”

“Rainbow Dash, no matter how many times you have sex with Discord, no two experiences are the same.” Fluttershy put her hooves on the table to lean closer to Dash. “Trust me.”

“...Can you convince them to make it a foursome?”

“I’m sure you’ll be able to get your turn, Rainbow,” Twilight giggled.

Both pegasi turned their attention towards Twilight.

“Lemmie guess, Twilight: You want weird alicorn horn sex with Celestia?” Rainbow wagered before chugging down her soda.

Twilight nervously rubbed the back of her head. “Actually, I think for this year, I wanna have sex with Braeburn.”

A wave of confusion hit the two pegasi, unsure if they heard Twilight say the right name or not. Rainbow Dash entered a coughing fit, nearly choking on her drink.

“Wait…Braeburn?” Fluttershy asked.

“Well, the month brings together all sorts of creatures. Many of whom we may not see in our everyday life,” Twilight said, trying to explain her reasoning. “I want to take advantage of this opportunity and try something new this year!”

“I mean yeah, fair enough, but…Braeburn?” Dash said, still in disbelief.

“Why not? I think it’d be pretty romantic.” Twilight leaned against the table as her eyes started to twinkle. “The strong apple farmer and the smart princess, both exhausted after a long month and in need of some relief. He’d take me in his embrace before slowly leaning back onto the floor. We’d share a passionate kiss as he lined himself up. We’d look into each other’s eyes, he’d play with my mane with his hoof for a bit, and then he’d say-”

Twilight’s serenade was cut short when she heard her friends fail to stifle their snickering.

Rainbow Dash was pounding the table, nearly in tears. “Wow, what western romance novel have you been reading recently?”

“It was just one idea…” Twilight grumbled, taking a sip of her drink.

“Well, I have a good feeling that I know what my mom wants,” Dash rolled her eyes. “Can’t believe that she’s going for round two…”

“After how she went out last time, can you really blame her?” Twilight smirked.

Dash let out a grumpy sigh. “Well, with no Zephyr or Gilda this year, I guess me and her being in the orgy together isn’t the worst possible scenario…”

“Can you at least ask her this year to save some Celestia for the rest of us?”

“Shouldn’t you be worried about your own mom taking her first?”

“What?! She would nev-ohhhhhh.” Twilight started to cringe upon realizing that was a very real possibility.

Rainbow Dash turned to Fluttershy, who had returned to her salad. “Well, you’re lucky at least. Don’t think your mom would be interested in a whole night of wild lovemaking.”

Fluttershy looked at Dash with a glare of annoyance usually only reserved for Zephyr.

“It is a little funny how each of us has had to deal with someone in our family being in the orgy with us,” Twilight mused.

“Yeah, but out of all of them, I’m pretty sure Shining’s the best lay.”

Twilight’s expression immediately flattened as she glared at Rainbow. “Seriously?”

Rainbow Dash crossed her hooves with an insufferably smug smirk. “Well, I can find out the answer when I fuck your brother and your mom in December!”

“Alright, you wanna go there? If your mom’s good enough for Celestia, then-”

“Girls please,” Fluttershy sighed as the two started to go at each other. “I just want to enjoy my salad.”

After another day of classes at Twilight’s friendship school, Smolder was suddenly greeted with a surprise visit from Ember.

“...Am I in trouble?” was Smolder’s first question upon seeing her.

“Why? What did you do?” Ember responded, immediately getting suspicious.

Smolder’s eyes quickly darted to the side. “Noooothing?” she said with a nervous grin.

Ember raised an eyebrow at Smolder’s grin, but thought nothing more of it as she walked with her.

“So, how are things with you and Ocellus?” Ember asked as they walked through the halls.

“Alright, I guess.” Smolder shrugged. “She said she was happy to be taking a break this year. I’m still kinda upset about it, but I don’t wanna go up against Chrysalis.”

“Mmm, smart,” Ember nodded.

“How are things with you and Thorax?”

“Not bad. He’s been pretty busy the past few days dealing with his stupid brother, though,” Ember winked.

“I know how that feels,” Smolder chuckled.

Once they found a secluded enough spot just outside the school, Ember sat Smolder down. “Alright, so, remember the parrot that’s also participating?”

“The parrot?”

“The parrot! Apparently she’s a friend of Rainbow Dash’s. They wanted to invite us on a ride on her ship!”

“Cool!” Smolder was immediately excited, but then stopped to think. “Wait, why? I mean, I’m not gonna say no to going on a pirate ship, but why us specifically?”

“Well, from what Rainbow Dash told me, apparently she thinks we’d get along with Celaeno. And that we’d find riding on a pirate ship pretty awesome.”

Smolder quickly flipped back to excitement, pumping her fists in the air. “Yeah we would!”

Amused, Ember stood back up. “Alright, come on, let’s go tell Rainbow Dash.”

“You know Rainbow Dash is the one with a rainbow mane, right?” Smolder smirked.

“Yes, Smolder,” Ember rolled her eyes. “Of course I know that…now.”

Just as they were about to leave the school grounds to find Rainbow Dash, somepony with saddlebags stepped in front of their path.

“Oh hello! What are you two dragons doing here?” Feather Bangs asked in a sultry voice.

Ember stared dumbfounded for a few seconds, before she leaned over to Smolder, asking in a tone that could only barely be counted as a whisper. “Which one is this one?”

“I…have no idea.” Smolder responded at a normal speaking volume.

Catching onto their very blatant conversation in front of him, Feather Bangs flipped his mane. “Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Feather Bangs.”

“Oh! Well, I’m Dragon Lord Ember, and this is Smolder.”

Smolder gave the pony an awkward smile and wave. “Can we…help you?”

“Well I heard that dragons can breathe fire, but…” Feather Bangs clutched onto his chest. “It seems that seeing you two…already lit a fire in my heart.”

Ember and Smolder exchanged the same baffled, but amused look to each other.

Feather Bangs continued on. “I was hoping that one of you two would add me to the hoard of treasures you have. Cause if we were together, I’d always treasure you.”

Smolder quickly covered up her face to hold back a snorting laugh. Meanwhile Ember’s jaw dropped in confusion and shock.

“And when I look into your eyes, I can see them shining bright…” Feather Bangs reached into his saddlebag, pulling out two large rubies. “Even brighter than these gems.”

The attitude of the dragons did an instant 180. “A-Are those…for us?” Smolder asked, already starting to salivate.

“Naturally,” Feather Bangs winked. “They were hard to get, but-”

Feather couldn’t get through the rest of his line before the dragons approached. They snatched the rubies out of his hoof and started chomping away. The stallion was stunned into silence.

“Mmmh, it’s been a while since I had a good ruby!” Ember moaned with delight.

“Nnf, yeah,” Smolder nodded. “You got any more with you?”

“Oh! Um, yeah, just one moment…” Feather said as he looked through his bags. Those papers Babs had on Ember were right, just not in the way he expected.

Author's Note

...have abstaining on the brain.