How to NOT Hide Your Relationship

The first stop the couple went to was Sugarcube Corner. After all, if anypony had a right to know about them, it would be Pinkie. Plus, Rainbow had somewhat suggested that she was dating a mare to her yesterday, and Pinkie probably already had an idea of who it was.

The reality, however, couldn’t be farther from the truth.

To put it mildly, Pinkie was inconsolable.

“Pinkie- we-”

Rainbow couldn’t get a single word in. She turned to look at Twilight, who was standing awkwardly behind her in the middle of Pinkie’s room. Twilight merely shifted her weight from side to side, giving Rainbow a desperate look. Rainbow tried to mouth ‘help me!’ to Twilight, but whether or not Twilight saw her, or simply pretended not to notice, she didn’t know. Instead, with a reserved sigh, and a slow turn of her head, she faced Pinkie again.

“Look- we were going to tell you eventually-”

“I-I-I missed so many anniversaries!”

“Pinks-”

“A-And I-I could’ve baked you such a big cake-”

“Pinkie-”

“I-I-I don’t even know what your couple-food is!”

“I-”

“Do you know what a couple-food is?!” Pinkie suddenly yelled, rocketing to her hooves. Suddenly, all Rainbow could see was Pinkies bright blue eyes full of tears, millimeters away from Rainbow’s eyes. Rainbow involuntarily let out a dog-like yipe, falling back onto her haunches as Pinkie got even closer. “Do you?? Because I don’t know your couple-food, Dash! What kind of party planner am I if I don’t know your couple-food?!”

“Um… what’s a ‘couple-food?’” Twilight asked quite daringly. Pinkie stopped looking at Dash, who was cowering under Pinkie’s suddenly very intimidating earth-pony stature, and glanced up at Twilight. Twilight, realizing that she had just gotten Pinkie’s attention, let out a very nervous smile.

“You’re telling me you don’t know what a couple-food is?” Pinkie said very quietly with a sniffle. Twilight kept up her smile as Pinkie slowly moved around Dash, carefully walking in a steady motion towards Twilight. “You… don’t know what couple-food is?”

“I-” Twilight gulped heavily. “...should I?”

“YOU DON’T-” Pinkie almost began yelling, but caught herself. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. “Couple-food is a type of food that couples share. It doesn’t have to be the favorite of either or pony, but a food that compliments the flavor of both ponies.”

Twilight and Rainbow caught each other’s eyes. Rainbow sitting on the ground, looking up with a concerned expression, and Twilight with a confused expression.

“So…” Twilight experimentally began. “You’re not mad that we’re dating, or anything?”

“Mad?” Pinkie asked, her shoulders falling slightly. “Why would I be mad?”

“Dude. You literally just yelled at us.” Rainbow responded from the ground behind her.

“Yeah, for couple-foods!” Pinkie responded hastily. “Look- All I know is that two of my best friends are dating right now, and I have to figure out a couple-food!” Pinkie’s shoulders suddenly sagged. “And I missed so many anniversaries!” She pouted sadly.

Rainbow mouthed emptily for a moment, before quickly standing up. With a swift flap of her wings to cross the distance quicker, she rested a hoof on Pinkie’s back.

“Hey, listen. Maybe we should’ve told you sooner, maybe not. But you didn’t miss any anniversaries! Because you’ve not given up yet. You still have time to do… um… make-up anniversaries!”

Twilight balked. Pinkie’s ears twitched.

“Yeah, that’s right!” Rainbow started again. “And you can make those parties bigger and better!”

“Rainbow, why…” Twilight whispered.

“Imagine it, Pinks! A make-up anniversary!”

Pinkie seemed to mull the idea over in her head a few times. She took a few seconds to chew the inside of her cheek as she began trotting in a large circle around her room. Rainbow couldn’t help but notice that Twilight was staring at her with wide eyes, almost communicating ‘What have you done’ with nothing but her facial expression. Eventually, however, Pinkie stopped her trotting and turned to face the two ponies.

“...how big can I make this ‘make-up anniversay?’”

“As big as you-” Rainbow began.

“MEDIUM.” Twilight suddenly interrupted, using her magic to clamp Rainbow’s mouth shut. “Medium sized party.” She said with a forced smile. “Not a big party, but a medium party. And only when we are willing to tell the rest of Ponyville about us.”

Pinkie, once again, began mulling it over.

“...why don’t you want to tell Ponyville about you two?” She questioned innocently, a genuine confused expression dawning her face. Rainbow and Twilight exchanged similar confused expressions.

“Well… for starters, Rainbow doesn’t like to be mushy.” Twilight began.

“Hey!” Rainbow finally stood up from her spot. “I never said that. I mean, I like being mushy around you, but not other ponies.” Rainbow approached Twilight’s side, draping a wing over her back.

“That’s literally just what I said!”

“Did not!

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“Did-”

“It’s almost like you two were made for eachother!” Pinkie’s eyelashes fluttered as she made a ‘daww’ sound. Rainbow cleared her throat.

“And, uh, not all ponies are very open to the idea of two mares…” Rainbow tilted her head side-to-side. It was almost like trying to dumm down her words for a foal. “...getting together. And not everypony might approve of us. We just want to make sure that we’re right for each other and, uh, be… willing for each other? Be… be ready… be…”

“Committed.” Twilight finished. “Make sure that we’re committed for the relationship.”

“Yeah, that.” Rainbow smiled goofily, leaning her head into Twilight’s neck. Pinkie watched from her spot across the room, her confused expression still apparent. Rainbow didn’t like the feeling of knowing that Pinkie was watching her, sending shivers up and down her spine, so she stopped leaning into Twilight and cleared her throat. “So, uh, yeah. Please wait on the parties.”

“You two are just so…” Pinkie struggled to find the words, her lips moving up and down while speaking nothing. “Are just so… right.” She mumbled. “I… I don’t know how I didn’t see it sooner…” She sniffled, nodding her head up and down. “Alright, you two. I can wait.” She creased her lip. “But not too long. If I miss your three month anniversary, I’m going to scream.”

Rainbow and Twilight looked at each other nervously. Pinkie’s eyelid twitched.

“-if I miss your six month anniversary, I’m going to scream.”

Rainbow and Twilight smiled at each other.

“Sounds like a done deal, Pinks.” Rainbow said, folding her wing back away from Twilight and approaching the pink menace. Rainbow put her hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder when she got close enough, staring directly into her eyes. “And, uh, thanks for being so cool about it. We were kinda forced to tell you about our relationship, and- omph!”

Suddenly, Pinkie gripped Rainbow in a hug. Not a typical Pinkie-Spine-Crushing-Hug, but a genuine, firm hug.

“Your secrets are safe with me!” Pinkie said cheerfully. Then, her eyes snapped open widely, staring at Twilight past Rainbow’s mane. “Oh, um, I didn’t mean to steal your mare, Twilight…”

Rainbow immediately broke the hug, pushing Pinkie away. “Her mare?”

“Not a problem, Pinkie.” Twilight giggled lightly. “You can hug my mare as much as you want.”

“Your mare?”

Twilight took in a deep breath and let it out. Considering the fact that they were sprinting to Sugarcube Corner no less than 10 minutes ago, all in all, this turned out spectacularly well. Of course, was there a question of how Pinkie would take the news? Twilight thought no, considering the pink party pony loved everypony equally. But breaking down into tears made Twilight think something was terribly wrong – No, it was just her missing their ‘anniversaries’ or ‘couple-food,’ something that Twilight and Rainbow would no doubt be forced to figure out by Pinkie’s hoof later.

But for now, they bid their farewell to Pinkie, and began heading downstairs and out of Sugarcube Corner with a single pony on their minds. Fluttershy.

Applejack had just thrown on her yoke to go help Big Mac plow some fields when she noticed two blurry white figures creeping up the gate to Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack paused on her porch, still adjusting the yoke, and watched as two familiar ponies began slowly entering earshot.

“-I told you, I told you, I told you, I told-”

“Yes, Sweetie Belle. You told me.” Rarity sighed loudly.

“-I told you, I told you, I told-” Sweetie Belle was repeating the phrase, bouncing up and down like a spring toy by Rarity’s side as they both approached the Sweet Apple Acres barn. Despite Rarity being so appearance-focused, it seemed that Sweetie Belle had actually managed to mess up a few hairs on Rarity’s mane into curling at a slightly different angle. Applejack suppressed a laugh as a somewhat defeated Rarity stopped in front of Applejack’s porch, looking up to Applejack at her slightly elevated position.

“It’s Twilight and Rainbow Dash.” Rarity stated simply.

“Hogwash.” Applejack responded curtly. “Twilight don’t got a lick of romance in her bones. Ain’t no damn way she managed to hook Rainbow Dash.” This time, Applejack didn’t suppress her laugh, letting out a loud Ha!

“They told me to my face.” Rarity said simply, trying to ignore Sweetie Belle, who was now talking about ice-cream. This got Applejack’s attention, who stopped laughing and stared directly at Rarity.

“Yer’ kiddin’ me.” Applejack let out another laugh, except this one wasn’t from a place of humor, but rather exasperation. “Yer’ kiddin’, right?”

“I am not.” Rarity’s ragged expression momentarily gave way to one of excitement. “Oh, Applejack, you simply must have seen them!” Her grin looked like it could split her face in two. “Augh- They both looked so cute together! It just gets my poor little heart racing every time I think about it!” Rarity shed a tear, wiping it away with her hoof.

Applejack stared for a few moments longer, unable to properly digest the information presented to her. She knew it was a matter of time before one of her friends began dating – hay, it might even been herself- but two of her friends dating each other? That wasn’t a possibility she had ever considered until just now.

What was their friend group going to be like now? Four ponies sitting awkwardly as Rainbow and Twilight ate face? Four third wheels to a date wherever they went? It sent shivers down Applejack's spine just thinking about how awkward it would be.

Not to mention the elephant in the room, of course.

“...two mares, huh?” Applejack wondered out loud.

“...Applejack?” Rarity began slowly. Applejack hadn’t even realized she was in a trance until Rarity’s voice brought her out of it. Looking back at Rarity, Applejack couldn’t help but notice the guarded expression that Rarity currently held, looking at her. “Back when we were, ah, getting reconnaissance for our mission in Sugarcube Corner, you mentioned…” Rarity made a small motion with her hoof. “One plus zero. And zero plus zero.” Rarity raised her eyebrow. “Do you care to elaborate?”

Applejack sucked air between her teeth.

“...I mean…” Applejack adjusted her yoke nervously. “I don’t got no problem with gay couples, okay?” Rarity’s eyes slitted. “I mean… It just doesn’t work.”

“Hm.” Rarity’s eyes stayed slitted. Sweetie Belle, who was bouncing around Rarity two seconds prior was now still, also intently listening to the conversation. “Elaborate.”

“Again?” Applejack huffed. “I mean, there ain’t much more to elaborate about!” Applejack took her stetson off, smoothing her hair before putting it back on. “Ah’ mean, first of all, mares and stallions get together, not mares and mares or stallions and stallions. It ain’t never been like that. Secondly, mares don’t feel attraction to other mares. That’s just ain’t how it works. Thirdly-”

“Stop.” Rarity held up a hoof. She used that same hoof to massage her temple. “...please repeat your second point, dear.” Applejack cocked her head to the side.

“...mares don’t feel attraction to other mares?”

Rarity was silent for a moment, staring up at Applejack. Applejack had a feeling that she was very carefully choosing her next words. As a matter of fact, Applejack could practically see the thought process playing out across her features.

“You don’t feel attraction to other mares.” Rarity finally said.

“...what?”

“You don’t.” Rarity repeated. “Others do. Applejack, I can tell you’re not trying to be hostile. But this closed worldview isn’t doing anypony any favors. Just because you don’t feel any attraction doesn’t mean others don’t, too, darling.” Now, it was Applejack’s turn to mull over Rarity’s words. If she had a straw in her mouth, she would’ve been ferociously chewing on it.

“...Do you?” Applejack asked slowly. “Do you feel things towards other mares, Rares?”

“No.” She responded with a sigh. “I don’t, Applejack. But I can appreciate a great body when I see one, but I can hardly say that I’ve ever felt attraction towards another mare.”

They both fell into silence, neither exactly sure where to go from here. Applejack had a lot to think about, but at the same time, Rarity didn’t know what to say to convince her otherwise. The continuation of the conversation, and the breaker of award silences, came from an unexpected source.

“Why don’t you ask them yourselves?” Sweetie Belle piped up. Rarity jumped slightly, turning to look at her sister, whom she had forgotten existed until now. “I mean, you seem confused about the whole thing. You’re not trying to be evil or anything. You were, I don’t know, raised that way? And now you’re having a hard time thinking outside the box?” Sweetie shrugged. “Go ask Twilight and Rainbow about it. And if you’re having a hard time after that, I don’t know, go eat a pine cone or something.”

“Sweetie-” Rarity grumbled. “Yes. She has a point, Applejack.” Rarity looked at her once more. “Perhaps it’s your predefined familial history that is making you confused. You were raised thinking one plus zero equals one. Everypony you ever knew was one plus zero growing up. So I say you should take Sweetie’s advice, and go talk to them.”

Applejack stared. Then, she mumbled something about ‘farm work.’ With a hefty sigh, she heaved off her yoke and set it carefully on the porch.

“Aight, fine.” She said. “I spose I should go talk to Twilight an’ Rainbow. Figure out what makes em’ tick.”

“Splendid!” Rarity beamed with a smile. “Perhaps you should join me on the walk back to Ponyville? Somepony here is very interested in getting a… um… oh, I forget. Some kind of ice-cream-”

“I want a double-chocolate-deluxe-cherry-” Sweetie began belting out, before Rarity used her magic to clamp around Sweetie’s muzzle.

“Thank. You. For reminding me.” Rarity said through gritted teeth. “Come along, Applejack!” She said wistfully, taking off along next to Sweetie Belle, who was back to bouncing up and down.

But Applejack took a moment to linger behind them. She frowned, partially due to concern about her impending conversation with Twilight and Rainbow, but also partially because she was now attempting to look at Rarity in a different light. Applejack squinted as she started at Rarity. She turned her head to the side. She even tried lowering her head down to get a different perspective.

‘What do ah’ notice about stallions?’ Applejack asked herself. ‘Big muscles?’ she thought. She observed Rarity’s arms and hind legs. ‘Ehh… not feeling anythin’. What about her face?’ Applejack looked at Rarity’s side profile of her face. Or, at least as much as she could see from behind her. ‘Ah’ mean… her mane is pretty? But her mane is always pretty.’ Applejack’s frown deepened. Finally, she let out a laugh.

“Nope. Don’t feel a thing.”

“Are you coming, Jackie?” Rarity had stopped walking to shout behind her at Applejack.

“Coming, Rares!” Applejack began trotting to catch up to her.