The Warden: Part 3, Dream of the Warden

Luna blinked several times, trying to get her bearings in the darkness. She sensed that she had successfully brought herself and the Warden out of the last sequence, but her eyes had not yet quite acclimated to the darkness. For her at least, it was difficult to tell whether or not the mist of the dreamscape had actually faded.

Within her, there was a flash of fearfulness that she had somehow managed to fumble her magical influence over the dream. But as the seconds passed, she made out a pale, white beam of light pouring in from somewhere above, providing the sole source of illumination.

Luna exhaled in relief, having confirmed that she had not made a mistake. Despite her mastery of the dream realm and her immense power, the growing stress and emotional strain has been taking a toll on her ability to focus.

Still, they were in the next sequence, no doubt about it. That light was unmistakably from the moon, and this sequence was merely at night.

But as her eyesight finally became used to her darkened surroundings, her relief was utterly shattered by an overwhelming shock of dread.

She knew this place, far too well.

It was her and Celestia’s throne room, back at their old castle deep within the Everfree Forest.

At one point, it was the grandest chamber in all the kingdom, with intricate carvings on the walls, golden ornaments, two thrones, one made of gold and the other of silver, grandiose tapestries, and stained glass windows that were beyond comparison.

It brought about a torrent of memories within the princess’ mind, some warm and happy, but others painful and dark.

This wasn’t helped by the fact that the room around them was absolutely wrecked.

Large gouges in the immense stone blocks that comprised the walls and floor pockmarked the once immaculate masonry. There was a rather large hole in the ceiling, allowing the moonlight to provide what illumination it could. Practically every window and tapestry was broken or torn, respectively. Rubble lay strewn about at her hooves, and the cold, chilling wind of the night rushed through the heart of the castle.

Perhaps the most striking detail of the space was the fact that the contraption that once contained the Elements of Harmony was out, jutting up from the floor, and visibly devoid of their contents.

But despite the jarring sight, there was something else that caught Luna’s full, undivided attention.

Or rather, somepony.

Celestia.

The mighty white alicorn princess had her head hung low, almost touching the floor. Her wings drooped as much as her ears, and her spectacular mane and tail billowed and shimmered gently in the pale glow of the moon. Shining teardrops fell from her closed eyes as she wept, openly.

Luna felt her heart drop inside of her own chest, seeing her elder sister in such a state. She was crushed, defeated… Hopeless.

There was only one instance that she could think of when Celestia had been reduced to such a deplorable position, and it made Luna’s blood run cold…

This was the night.

The night when she had allowed her bitterness towards Celestia’s pettiness and pride to take hold… The night when she finally gave in to the temptations and half-truths that Nightmare Moon had been whispering into her mind for decades… The night when she relinquished control to her darker self in order to punish Celestia for each and every mistreatment and manipulation that had been exacted against her…

But most painfully of all, this was the night that Luna failed, and caused far more pain and suffering than she had bargained for…

Luna’s eyes widened, and her heart began to beat harder as the trauma of this fateful night took a merciless hold over her emotions.

She knew this was coming the moment she realized that the Warden wanted her to replay each of his defining moments. It was inevitable, unavoidable, given what had happened to him and his family that same night.

And yet, despite knowing that it was coming, she still felt a part of herself cry out in anguish upon realizing, begging her to just get away, desperate to not have to rewatch the horrific consequences of her failure.

She froze for a moment, not uttering a single sound, despite the unforgiving onslaught of anxiety and fear.

“Well, it’s not too late, Luna.” A voice seemingly from nowhere pointed out. “You can just turn around and run. I won’t judge you… Much.”

Luna took an involuntary step back, a sense of dread and fear unlike anything else that she had experienced in years impaling her very soul. She felt a crunch under one of her rear hooves as she stepped away, and she looked down to see that she had stepped upon a rather dark piece of stained glass, and shattered it into a few more pieces as a result.

Within the inky darkness of the broken shards, a set of glowing eyes stared gleefully up at her, along with a chilling, toothy grin.

It was her again.

“Come now, Luna. The best thing to do now is to just cut your losses while you are ahead.”

The princess didn’t respond right away. A part of her just… Shut down. She couldn’t reply, she couldn’t act, and she couldn’t think. All she could do was stare, and try to think of what to do.

However, within a second or two, something stirred within Luna. Even though it was faint, it was enough to restart her thoughts, and she swiftly cast the time-freeze spell on the dream around her, giving her a safe place to converse with her darker self, free from the conscious of the Warden.

Luna drew in a sharp, trembling breath, glaring at the visage of her darker self within the shards at her hooves.

“I- I won’t.” She replied shakily. Despite her best efforts, her tone and body language betrayed the crippling fear that toiled just below the surface.

Nightmare Moon’s glare intensified, and her toothy grin relaxed somewhat.

“Oh, just drop the brave act already,” She chided with a hint of annoyance. “you aren’t fooling anypony, let alone us. You are afraid, as you should be…”

Luna drew in another breath, and exhaled through her lips as this harsh truth struck her like a clapper does a bell.

She didn’t want to admit it, but what use was there denying it? She was afraid.

Very afraid.

She was probably mere minutes from having to rewatch her worst mistake, and how she tore apart a family that did nothing to deserve it. And then, she was going to ask the one pony that she had wronged the most for forgiveness, and put herself at his mercy…

Of course she was afraid.

The princess closed her eyes, trying to find the clarity to speak.

“I- You- We-”

As the broken words exited her mouth, Luna stopped trying to speak. It was all threatening to overwhelm her.

Yes, she was an alicorn. Yes, she was a ruler. Yes, she could be considered a divine being when compared to the normal pony folk…

But despite the displays of stoicism, regality, and authority, there was no hiding what she truly was from Nightmare.

She was a pony all the same, subject to her fears, shame, and guilt.

“Now now, Luna…” Nightmare spoke, taking on a more mocking tone as she looked up at her from the broken glass. “Stop hurting yourself by being so defiant. We both know that this isn’t going to end the way you hope.”

The princess of the night felt her heart sink further as the words hit her right as Nightmare intended.

She looked over at the Warden, frozen within his dream, standing alone.

Alone.

The memory of the family he once had surely plagued him at least as much as it did Luna.

He could have lived happily with them until he died, but Luna’s failure prevented that from ever becoming a possibility.

“After all we gave him, and took away thereafter, why do you still insist on holding out?” Nightmare hissed, aware of Luna’s thoughts. “Why not just run away, and never think of this ever again instead of allowing yourself to be reminded of the trauma you caused?”

Luna remained silent, struggling to keep her breathing steady as she barely staved off an all out panic attack.

Why should she keep doing this? Why should she hold on to hope? Why should she hold out for the chance that he would forgive her, even as that chance seemed to grow slimmer and slimmer as the minutes passed?

Why? What was the point in getting hurt all over again if he was likely not to forgive her anyway?

…

Why indeed?

…

“Hm. Tongue tied, are we?” Nightmare asked, jolting Luna from her thoughts.

Luna still didn’t say anything, her heart in deep, deep turmoil. She didn’t know what to think, or even what to say. She simply looked at the dark reflection of herself with a look of utter helplessness.

She knew that her best chance of putting all this behind her was to ask the Warden for forgiveness, but was this only a false hope from the start? Was this too much of a gamble to begin with?

“I-” She stuttered, her words choking out in her throat.

Nightmare gave an irritated groan, rolling her piercing eyes and sneering.

“Oh for- Why are you so conflicted?” She asked angrily, staring daggers at Luna. “Even after I show you the easy way out, you still want to follow through!”

When this angry exclamation fell upon Luna’s ears, something occurred to her.

As opposed to all the lies and half truths that Nightmare had uttered, this was perhaps the one thing that rang fully and entirely true in Luna's mind.

Despite her fears and guilt, she had held out for this long.

She was not defeated. Not yet.

This simple thought reignited her resolve. She had come so far in her effort to prove Nightmare wrong and overcome her, despite the overwhelming sense of impending rejection. Her courage and hope for the impossible chance of obtaining the Warden’s forgiveness had carried her this far.

When she thought about that, the need to see this through to the end began to outweigh her urge to follow Nightmare’s advice.

Of course, that would mean that she would have to watch how badly that she had failed everypony, especially the Warden… She was still afraid of the painful memories that were about to be unpacked, and of the likelihood that the Warden was not going to forgive her, but… She had to do this.

If she abandoned her mission here, her struggle against Nightmare Moon would have been all for naught.

Even against the odds, Luna could not just hand Nightmare Moon another win. Never again.

Yes, Luna was terrified of what she was about to experience by pushing onwards…

But now, as she stood silently, her gaze grew harder, and her lips tightened into a resigned frown.

She had accepted the fact that no matter what, no matter how scared she was, and no matter how heartbreaking it was going to be, she was going to persist. She had to, in order to keep fighting Nightmare Moon, and to accept the full consequences of her fall to darkness that she had been unable to face for over a millennium.

Luna flared her nostrils as she huffed strongly, raising a hoof over the shattered glass that housed the foul visage of her darker self.

“I will see this through, come Tartarus or high water.” She said with a powerful tone, breaking her silence, as well as her fearful expression. “I don't care for the odds, I don't care about the pain that will come. I will ask him for forgiveness after doing what he has asked of me.”

For the first time, Nightmare Moon looked genuinely taken aback. Her slitted eyes grew wide, her jaw slackened, and she even seemed to flinch, if only for a fraction of a second, before indications of suppressed rage began to bubble to the surface. But, she swiftly put on a smile in an effort to hide the fact that Luna’s defiance had legitimately caught her off guard.

“My, my, Luna… Such strength and fortitude…” She lauded, before her smile turned into a scowl. “A pity you apply your best aspects for a fool’s errand.”

Again, Luna felt a jolt of fear go through her, but this time, it wasn’t able to grip her as it had done before.

“Perhaps it could be seen as being foolish.” Luna admitted, her tone softening momentarily, keeping her hoof raised threateningly above the reflection. “But I have spoken, and you do not have control over me yet.”

Nightmare Moon went silent, seemingly unable to come up with an appropriate response. Finally, after a few seconds, she growled.

“Very well. I recognize that you are determined to make things difficult for us.”

Luna blinked, and raised her hoof even higher. Now that she had said what was on her mind, she had no desire to entertain Nightmare any further.

Seeing this, Nightmare gave a final, chilling, malicious grin.

“I shall check in again, after he rejects you and you are left even more broken than you were before. Goodby-”

Nightmare’s farewell was cut short by a sharp, forceful stomp by Luna, and the shards of glass that once housed the reflection exploded into dozens more, scattering around the floor.

Luna huffed angrily, glaring at where Nightmare once was. For a few moments, her anger burned against her alternate personality, and at all the pain that she had caused both herself and others.

But Luna couldn’t dodge the blame either, could she?

The princess closed her eyes, breathing deeply as she tried to stabilize her emotions. After all, she still had a task to do.

After a minute, she glanced over at the Warden, who was looking towards the visage of Celestia, both frozen perfectly in time.

Her heart began to ache and falter once again as the gravity of what she had done fell heavily upon her shoulders.

But she now had the determination to continue, despite her gnawing fears.

With a look of acceptance, she unfroze the passage of time.

It was time to face her worst memories.