Stone Face meets the Ponies

by Luigi-fan 470

Rating: everyone
Tags: Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy, Random
Length: 1028

One day a dimensional portal was found at the edge of Leukreshea, so we pushed the Barbarian through

HI! My names Davian, I'm the court wizard of the country of Leukreshea, and I'm the narrator. WOOOO my voice sounds all wibbly wobbly, but I guess you can't hear that. So, one day, I think it was a Tuesday maybe Friday, there was a dimensional rip that was detected on the dimensional rip detector that I made and use as a paper weight, (It sent my papers EVERYWHERE). Any way, so I do what any good wizard would do and send my faithful Incarnate Stone Golem, Stone Face, in to the rift. I armed him with his large maul, a bag filled with food, and a gate key that will return him to this plane upon activation. Unfortunately I forgot to take in to account that Stone Face is probably to stupid to use a magical item, (seriously, I think he as an IQ of 40), so even the simplest of activation modes would be meaningless. So ya, the only way he's getting back is if he accidently says the phrase, 'Shamalama Ding Dong,' while holding the key to the sun, or I'm going to have to work on scrying him and opening a stable gate. Well while I'm working on that, you all can see what fun Stone Face is having in, ummm how do I say it, Equestria?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-02 07:07:54 UTC

Into the Rift

Hello everybody, this is a fanfiction that I though of while reading through some of my old D&D character sheets, so I took my Barbarian, Stone Face and put him in Equestria. The narrator, for all of you who didn't read the description, is Davian a gnome wizard, and Stone Face's creature. This is my first fanfiction, and constructive criticism is appreciated.

It was an average Wednesday evening in my workshop, vials of fizzy stuff bubbling over, my assistant is having a staring contest with the 'fluffy kitty,' and a sleepy gnome wizard having a mid afternoon siesta. When suddenly, a powerful WOOOOSH followed by a high pitched ringing, and all of my papers go EVERYWHERE. My first reaction was that the air elemental had escaped from my iron flask and was pissed off, until I remembered I don't have an air elemental in an iron flask. After a quick scan of my shop, I locate the source of the disturbance, an artifact that I found a LONG time ago, that the ancients used for finding rips in space and time.

Examining the object of my current annoyance, and sufficiently shocked that the relic still works, I manage to locate the sight of the rip. it's about 4 miles to the south east of town, right in the middle of, 'No Mans Land.' I'm now literary hopping with excitement such a rare discovery only happens once in like...... a long fucking time, I've got to check this out.

"STONE FACE, PUT DOWN THE CAT AND GRAB YOUR HAMMER, WERE GOING ON A TRIP! BRING SOME FOOD!" The only response I get baritone cry of joy and the thunderous footsteps of the 400 pound Giant.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A quick trip to the throne room, to inform the Queen and King of situation, and a Greater Teleport later, and were standing just 50 feet away from the hole. Strange, no mater what side you look at the rift, it remains in two dimensions, although the image on the other side does change it only shows trees.

Stone Face is currently walking around the 'air hole' completely mystified at what it could be. I've told him to stay 20 feet away, about two of his hammers length away from it, so he should be safe. He may be stupid as a brick, but he follows orders well enough.

I guess I should tell you all about Stone Face, well about a hundred years ago, I made a stone golem to protect me. I must have forgotten about him because about five years ago I found him in the basement, waiting to be given orders. After awhile, and many miss communications later, I decided I wanted to try and make him, 'human.' I did, and he's still REALLY big and strong, but I must have Dwarfed up, because he's not as smart as the old grimoire says he should be. So long story short, I've got a five year old derpy giant as an assistant.

I better get back to setting up my equipment, before Stone Face gets bored and tries to 'help.' Now lets see, the transe-dimensional telescope goes here, the continuum compass goes there, the bleepy whirly doo dad goes over top of the rip.....

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It's been a few weeks since we've set up shop in front of the portal, for the first couple of days bandits came by sayin' "Hey look, a gnome with a bunch of shiny stuff. Let's kill 'em and take it," and around then they saw Stone Face, we haven't had any more trouble from the locals since then. Any way I'm STILL no closer to finding out what is on the other side. Except that there's trees, but that could be ANYWHERE, well maybe not the Plane of Fire. Unless there FIRE TREES. Anyhow every piece of metal observation equipment that is sent through is destroyed, or turns into a spider runs off. And at it's rate of decay, I believe that the portal will close by the end of the day. I think I will have to send Stone Face through and have him tell me what he saw when he comes back. Or just read his mind when he gets back, that's probably easier.

"Alright Stone Face, it's adventure time. I want you to go through the 'air hole' remember everything that you see. And remember don't squish any nice people that are on the other side."

"YAY, Adventure Time!"

A few minutes found us going through a check list, "....You got your hammer, that bag of food, and final take this key," I hand him a small bronze key, "This, Stone Face, will be able to open another, 'air hole,' so you can get back here." Suddenly my Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey detector begins to release an ear piercing screech, and the portal starts to rapidly close, "No, no no nononononono. Stone Face, get through the, air hole! Right Now!"

Stone Face follows my command without a second thought, and probably not a first one either. He makes it through with second to spare before the portal seals. With a sigh of relief, I go about cleaning up my equipment, when I suddenly stop. 'I forgot to tell Stone Face how to use the dimensional key. By GlitterGolds broken pick, why did I make the activation phrase, 'shamalama ding dong?' After half a minute of cursing to myself I putting away the last of the equipment. 'Well, time to make a, 'Stone Face Locator,' I think I still have the prototype in the basement somewhere.....'

Meanwhile in Equestria

Twilight Sparkle was having a wonderful day, the chores were done, all of the books were sorted, and most importantly, she had just bought the latest Daring Doo Novel. Eeyup nothing could go wrong today.

"Twilight! You got an ungent message from the Princess!" Well so much for that idea.

"What does it say Spike?"

To my faithful student Twilight Sparkle;

There has been a recent disturbance in the Everfree Forest, I would like you, and the other elements of harmony to assess the situation.

Your Mentor Princess Celestia.