It was a sunny day in Canterlot, but there was a dreary chill in the air that kept its warmth from getting through.
The school bell rang out its harsh, mechanical drone, and the sudden noise made Moondancer jump as she was hurrying to her next class. It was hard to believe that it could be this late into the semester and she could still feel lost in a place like this. She had a history project due today, and her nerves were on edge. Her classmates knew it too. She'd seen them leaning over to stare whenever she got a paper back, trying to see how bad her grade was.
She had always been different, she knew that. Ponies had looked at her strangely almost from her first day of school. She'd always been a bit slower than the rest, never sure what to say, not sure how to join in a group, and it had made her the scapegoat in every social circle. She tried not to show it but it had always hurt. She could tell just from looking at them what they were all thinking. There goes Moondancer, she's so weird. Keep away from her, she's not like us.
She found her thoughts drifting back to the day of her party, the one Twilight Sparkle couldn't be bothered to attend. For just a moment she had let herself believe things were going to turn around. She'd been gaining confidence a bit and thought she could break out of her shell, and it had only made it hurt worse when her dreams were crushed. Maybe she was just too different to fit in anywhere. The memory of that realization still made her cry sometimes. She wondered what it felt like to be Twilight, the hero of Equestria, surrounded by friends, confident that she had a place in the world.
She wished Twilight could see her now. Her entire life had become nothing but studying, but lately she'd been feeling so down she could hardly muster the energy, and if she fell behind on her work for even a day it seemed to take weeks to catch up. Even when she pored through a book for hours she felt like the words weren't leaving any meaning behind. She supposed if she had a friend group like all those other ponies things might be better, but that would never happen. Nopony wanted her, and it felt like nopony ever would.
At lunchtime she was still thinking nervously about her history project, and she didn't quite register what she was doing. She usually ate relatively alone, but today she found herself drifting toward a table where several of her classmates sat. Then a hoof slammed down on the only vacant seat, jolting her out of her thoughts.
It was Ivy, a dark green mare who seemed to take her very existence as a personal insult. "What do you think you're doing?" she demanded, looking slightly disbelieving at Moondancer's nerve.
Moondancer backed away nervously. "I was- I just wanted to..."
"Sorry Moondancer, the egghead convention is at the next table." Several other ponies laughed loudly at that. A few of the other ponies looked vaguely apologetic, but they didn't speak up.
Moondancer gave a sigh and walked off towards a lonelier table a few feet away. She wasn't sure why she'd even bothered, she should have known what to expect.
As she started to move off, Ivy grinned as she suddenly got an idea. She knew Moondancer couldn't stand loud noise- she was known to have panic attacks during fire drills- so she floated her empty lunch bag into the air until it was right behind her, then her horn glowed as the bag burst apart with a deafening bang. Moondancer gave a shriek and stumbled, landing hard on the floor and dropping her tray, food spilling everywhere. She picked herself up slowly, her face turning red, Ivy's laughter in her ears. She felt the tears come but tried to hold them back, not wanting her sadistic classmate to have the satisfaction.
She didn't know what she was going to do. She couldn't take this for another year.
Things went from bad to worse that afternoon. They were outside playing dodgeball, which Moondancer thought must have been invented as some form of medieval torture. She was a fairly quick runner but wasn't very graceful. It didn't help that Ivy and some of her other bullies were in this class as well.
It wasn't too bad at first. She was able to dodge a few, hoping maybe nopony would notice her.
Then Ivy threw a particularly large ball at her and caught her in the chest. She landed hard in the mud, and as she got up a ball hit her in the back, knocking her over again.
She wasn't sure why this was happening but next thing she knew, there were several ponies around her in a circle, laughing at her, throwing more balls at her.
"That's for being such a bookworm!" giggled Ivy, and the others took up the chorus as she tried to get away from them.
"Look at her, she's so slow!"
"Can she do anything right?"
"Hit her again!"
The insults and the balls kept flying.
She backed away. "Stop it... please!" But they took no notice. She broke into a run, just trying to find some way out of here.
She suddenly realized her glasses had fallen off and she looked around. There they were in the mud, a ball still lying on top of them. She could tell one of the lenses was broken. She couldn't help it this time. She felt hot tears spring into her eyes.
"Oh, what's wrong?" sneered Ivy. "You look so ugly in those anyway, I think it's an improvement."
Moondancer's mind chose to block out the next few minutes. She was vaguely aware that she was screaming words she hadn't even realized she knew, and the next moment she'd barreled right into Ivy, knocking her down into the mud. She heard their teacher come over, demanding to know what the trouble was, and that was about all she could take. She turned her back and ran as hard as she could, her ruined glasses floating beside her. She wasn't even conscious of where she was going, and she was crying so hard she could hardly see.
Ten minutes later she was in the library. It was nice and cool in here, and at least she was away from her bullies. She took deep breaths, trying to calm herself, and got lost in the shelves. She knew she would be in trouble for missing her afternoon classes, but she didn't care.
She sat down and buried her face in a book, still fighting back tears. Her life was falling apart and she knew it. She was a lonely, insecure pony with no friends, whose entire self-esteem had been held together by a pony she thought was a friend but who clearly couldn't have cared less. It had been years since she'd really felt happy, since she'd felt like she actually had a future. There was no joy left inside her, only pain and hurt, a wounded soul screaming for release from a world that didn't seem to want her.
She gave a sniffle as a tear splattered the page of her book. It was getting late and she knew the library would be closing soon. With a deep breath she got up and checked out her book, giving the librarian a weak smile as she went out. It would be another lonely night, but at least she would get to read something new. Books were her only friends now. They wouldn't hurt her or abandon her like Twilight had.
Library, house. Library, house.
She walked home slowly, her head down, the dull monotony of it making her mood even darker. It felt like every time she turned her head she saw two or more ponies walking together, looking cheerful, talking excitedly about their plans for the afternoon. She half-wished one of them would notice her and call out to her, invite her to join them, but she knew better. To everypony else she may as well be invisible.
The sun was setting as she reached home. She saw a gray mare flying toward her and looked up. "Hey, Derpy," she said softly. She didn't see the mailmare here often but she sometimes made special deliveries to Canterlot. "Anything for me?"
Derpy shrugged. "Sorry, Moondancer. Nothing today. But you can have a free muffin anyway." She grinned vacantly and held it out.
Moondancer took a bite, trying to cheer up. "Thanks. Uh... do you want to talk for a moment? It's been a bad day."
Derpy looked apologetic. "No can do. Lots of deliveries to make, but it's always nice seeing you. Enjoy your muffin!" She gave Moondancer a brief pat and flew off.
Moondancer sighed and entered her darkened house, finding little there to raise her spirits. She had something to eat and then went into her room, still feeling a little angry. She noticed an old scrapbook on her bedside table and looked through it, glaring at an old picture of herself and Twilight studying together. It seemed even worse now that there had been a time when she'd allowed herself to hope that she could have a normal life, only to learn just how little she meant to her supposed best friend.
She looked at her old writings, diary entries, pictures. Some of them were disturbing. She had drawn them soon after the party. They showed herself lying in front of a train, weighing herself down with a boulder in front of a river, standing at the edge of a cliff. They had gotten her in some trouble at school, and she'd had to see a counselor for a while.
It doesn't matter. You can't change the past. No matter how much I want to...
She gave a sniffle and looked out the window at the setting sun. She couldn't understand how this had happened to her. It seemed just yesterday she had still been a filly studying with Twilight and the others, with her whole life ahead of her, and now... she already felt old. How could Twilight just leave her here like this? She couldn't even blame her, really. There was nothing special about her. It was hard to even imagine somepony really wanting to be her friend. She hardly even saw her family anymore.
It felt like it was too late to change now. She was surrounded by ponies who had a future because they got to grow up with a close group of friends and felt like they belonged somewhere. She didn't know what that felt like. She'd missed out on the years that really mattered and she felt like she'd be screwed up for life.
The sky was darkening outside. Distantly she heard the sound of a nighttime train pulling into its station. She closed her eyes and wished dimly that she could be on it and just ride until she was far away from any of this... Slowly she sank down into sleep.
The world suddenly seemed a little brighter. She opened her eyes with a start, looked around, and blinked in confusion. This wasn't Canterlot. She didn't recognize this place at all.
It seemed a lot pinker somehow, and there was something else different about how everything looked, though she couldn't quite put her hoof on it. As she looked around she saw a number of ponies walking around, but they too looked off in a way she couldn't describe. Two other ponies came trotting her way, one pink, the other mint-green. For a moment she felt alarmed as they came toward her, but the pink pony, who seemed to be in the lead, was smiling gently, and something about it put Moondancer off her guard.
"Hey!" she said. "You're new here, aren't you?" Her voice was warm and gentle, and it was very calming.
Moondancer nodded, a bit nervously. "Uh... hi." She tried to smile back, feeling a little unsure of herself. "Look, I'm not sure how I got here... where are we?"
The pink mare came a little closer and smiled. "It's okay. You're in Ponyville."
Moondancer blinked. "This... is Ponyville? I've been there on a class trip and it didn't look anything like this."
The pink mare shrugged. "Well, that's what the sign here says, anyway." She gave a little giggle. "It's nice to meet you! I'm Pinkie Pie, and this is my friend-"
The other pony bowled into her, knocking her down. "Oops!" she said lightly, hoisting Moondancer to her feet. "I'm Minty, and I love socks and anything green. Is this a nice day or what?" The mint-green pony was beaming at her, sucking on a candy cane in between words.
Moondancer wasn't sure what was going on. Pinkie Pie?! But this pink mare couldn't be her- for one thing she wasn't bouncing up and down. She looked around, feeling slightly disoriented. There were several buildings and houses nearby, most of them pink, with hearts on them. In the distance she could see a bright, colorful Ferris wheel that some ponies were riding, going not too fast but not too slow. There were two mares a few feet away who were just rolling around on the grass, laughing at nothing in particular. One of them was wearing what looked like a propellor for a hat. In the other direction was a cafe-like building (which was, of course, pink) with an image of a cotton candy on the front. An orange filly, who had a butterfly cutie mark and looked vaguely familiar, was outside it, zooming around on roller skates, while another filly was flying a kite. Despite her confusion, there was a simplicity and innocence to it all that made Moondancer's heart feel light.
She shook her head, trying to make sense of this. "Is this another world or something? You look really different from all the ponies I know."
Minty giggled. "So do you, silly!" She held out her half-eaten candy cane. "Try this, it might help you feel better. I mean, I'd rather have a new pair of socks, especially some glow-in-the-dark socks, they're my favorite, but I'm the only one here who really seems to go for that..."
Normally Moondancer would have declined for reasons of hygiene, but Minty's good nature was so disarming that she couldn't help herself. It was, unsurprisingly, mint-flavored, and it tasted quite good, if a little bit sweet. "Okay... I'm not sure how to explain this, but I'm not really from here, can you tell me... what is this place, exactly?"
Pinkie Pie looked at her seriously, placing a hoof on her shoulder. "It's okay, Moondancer. I know it's a little confusing, but you're in Ponyville. It's a nice place, really, you should try it." She paused, looking at Moondancer intently. "Are you okay? You look so sad. Like something's absolutely, definitely, positively wrong."
Moondancer nodded. "It's not so good where I'm from. You seem really nice but... I'm not the kind of pony who makes friends, I guess. I just don't fit in there."
To her surprise Pinkie Pie was still smiling kindly. "You do here. Maybe it's different where you're from, but you wouldn't have found your way here if you didn't really want to."
Moondancer wasn't quite sure what that meant. "But this isn't my home. I'm from Equestria, and there's a Pinkie Pie there too but she's totally different..."
"Oh, does she like parties?"
Moondancer had to admit she had a point. "Okay, maybe she's not that different-wait, how do you know my name?"
There was a look on Pinkie Pie's face that Moondancer couldn't quite interpret. She seemed a little sad, but next moment it had passed. "We don't get many visitors, but the ones who come here... they seem to really need us. You don't seem happy, Moondancer." She thought for a moment, then her face lit up. "You know, when I'm sad I just need a nice big balloon to cheer me up. Here!" She reached out and found a pink balloon and held it out. "Here you go, doesn't that make you feel better?" Moondancer took it and held it against her, feeling oddly at peace.
As they started to walk together a cheerful-looking pink unicorn came trotting toward them, giggling lightly and seemingly oblivious to the fact that there were a few ornamental yellow lights tangled in her mane.
"Hi, Rarity!" beamed Pinkie Pie. "This is our new friend Moondancer, she's a little shy but I'm sure she'd like to meet new friends.”
Rarity grinned and held out a hoof. "Hi, Moondancer, I'm Princess Rarity! Oh, if you're new here there's so much to show you, there's so many fun things to do here- want to see me make a rainbow?" Before Moondancer could even reply the pink unicorn's eyes widened. "Oooh, you're a unicorn too? Where's your magic wand?"
Moondancer blinked in surprise. "Magic... wand? That's a thing?"
"She's kind of new here," Minty explained in a stage whisper. "Come on, show her some magic!" Moondancer felt a little excited at this, she'd loved magic shows as a filly.
"Sure, watch this!" said Rarity, beaming at the opportunity to impress a new friend. The pink unicorn drew out her wand and waved it lightly through the air, disappearing right in front of their eyes... and reappearing with a pop right on Minty's head. Unfortunately the green mare wasn't expecting this and soon the two went facefirst into the grass.
Rarity popped back up irrepressibly. "That was fun, let's do it again!"
Moondancer couldn't help herself, she started giggling and couldn't stop. That only encouraged Rarity, who pulled her new friend down on the ground beside her, and they both kept laughing for a few minutes. After a while their giggles subsided and Moondancer just lay beside her friend and gazed up at the pink sky, feeling totally content for a moment. She turned to Rarity. "So you're a princess? Are you the ruler here then?"
Rarity shook her head, still giggling. "Nope, I'm from Unicornia and I don't rule anything except rainbows, but you're welcome to visit anytime, we can have lots of fun together!"
Moondancer looked around at them all, still trying to take in this new feeling. Minty started excitedly trotting around her, telling her all about life here, how last Christmas she'd tried to be Santa and give all the other ponies socks, while Pinkie looked at her somewhat apologetically, as if to confirm that the green mare was always like this. Moondancer didn't understand all of it but it felt good just having other ponies this excited to be around her. The orange filly with the butterfly cutie mark, who was now jumping rope, came bounding up to her too, asking excitedly if she wanted to come play with her.
This place sure is strange, she thought. It's so nice, though. There must be something wrong with me...
She awoke with a jolt as thunder echoed from her window. She wasn't sure how long she had been dreaming and it took several moments before she realized where she was. She took a few breaths, wondering if she felt relieved or sad. This world was familiar, at least, but...
Slowly that warm feeling inside faded away. I should have known. It had to be a dream... nothing that good could ever happen to me. She wondered if anypony would believe her if she told them about this.
She gazed out the window at the night sky, trying to remember every detail of the dream. She hadn't been sure how to react at first, that world seemed almost too innocent. She couldn't remember feeling so at peace anywhere. Nopony was excluded, nopony was picked on. And the way that version of Pinkie Pie had looked at her, the way she'd smiled, it had felt so sincere that she wasn't even sure how to respond to it. Those ponies seemed so nice to everyone, she could just tell there wasn't a mean bone in their bodies. She supposed to some they might seem a little silly, but she found she didn't care. There was such an infectious feeling of good will there that it was alluring.
She closed her eyes, wishing with all her heart that she could go back there. Just for a few minutes...
The next day at school her mind was still full of her dream. She surprised herself by speaking up in physics class, asking her professor if there could be an alternate dimension with ponies like the ones from her dream. A few of her classmates looked mildly interested, but most of them laughed. No offense, but they sound really girly, had been Ivy's withering assessment.
By the end of the day her good mood had dissipated, as she realized nothing was going to change. It hardly seemed to matter whether she drew attention to herself or not. Hardly anypony looked her way, apart from Ivy and a few other bullies, who always thought it was amusing how she walked with her head down.
It seemed surprising that she could feel so sad and look so sad, and yet nopony seemed to notice. There was a lot they never saw. They didn't see the desperate looks she shot her classmates, hoping that maybe today somepony would notice she needed help or ask her how she was doing. They didn't see the nights when she lay in bed alone, crying herself to sleep, wishing sometimes she just wouldn't wake up the next day. They didn't see the decrepit state her house was in, a house that she didn't need to keep in order because nopony cared to visit her.
The days rolled by, and slowly she felt herself settling back into the same dull routine of being picked on or ignored, each day feeling a little more desperate.
Nopony ever looked at her or said hello, or even gave her a smile. It was like she didn't even exist.
She was struggling with a science paper that afternoon when to her surprise there came a knock at the door. She half-hoped it was somepony from school, but it was her sister, who she hadn't seen in almost a year.
"Oh... come in," she said nervously, quickly stooping down and scooping some dropped books onto a table. It didn't make much difference to the room's decor.
Her sister took a pause and looked around the darkened living room, frowning. "This is where you live now?"
Moondancer nodded, then hastily went to the nearest window and opened the curtains, though this triggered a cloud of dust, and the sudden inflow of light seemed almost harsh. Moreover, with the room fully visible now, it was more evident that she hadn't exactly been looking after the place.
Her sister was looking at her somewhat cautiously. "You should really fix this place up, it looks like it's falling apart."
It is, thought Moondancer. Just like me.
"I ran into one of your teachers yesterday." Her sister was looking concerned. "She seems to think you're having a breakdown or something. Some of your classmates have been concerned about you, that's what she told me."
Moondancer found that so absurd she didn't know what to think. They were worried? The ones who can't be bothered to look at me? The ones who would run away if I even asked if I could hang out with them?
She sighed. "It’s just been a bad week," she said softly. "I keep trying and trying but it doesn't seem to matter. And the other ponies just think I'm weird and call me names. I wish I could just take a week off or something, then I could just..."
Her sister shook her head. "Moondancer, you've missed enough school as it is. You seemed to be doing so well when you first started but you're taking on too much work. Maybe you should study something else, I know when you were younger you thought you were going to be a scientist or an astronomer or something, but you need to be realistic. You're barely getting by in most of those classes."
Moondancer looked at her helplessly. "I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't even know what I want to be anymore. I mean, Mom and Dad never even asked me what I want to do. They never told me I can do anything right." She took a breath, amazed she was actually getting this out. "I just want to feel like myself. I just want to be somewhere where I can be happy!"
"This is the real world, Moondancer. You can't run away from your problems."
Moondancer shook her head. "Maybe I can. There's a better place out there somewhere. I've seen it."
"What do you mean?"
Moondancer looked up and smiled. "It's another world. Like this one, but different. There's ponies there, and some of them are even named the same, but they're different... not like you and me. There's a Pinkie Pie there, and she's more serious than ours, but she still likes parties, and there's this funny pony called Minty who likes socks. I mean, they're kind of silly, but they're all so nice and friendly-"
Her sister was looking at her like she was coming down with something. "You can't keep doing this to yourself, Moondancer. You can't keep pretending." She took a breath. "I know what happened between you and Twilight hurt you. I know you wish you could just go back and do things over, but... you can't. You can't just escape into another world."
Moondancer shook her head, hardly listening. "You didn't see it," she insisted. "It was real nice, everypony just seemed so happy, and they liked me, they really liked me!" She closed her eyes. "I've never felt like that before, like I could just be myself around other ponies. It was like some other world where nothing really bad ever happens." She leaned back and sighed. "I know it was a dream, it was just... it was really nice."
Library, house. Library, house.
Derpy was flying around again (upside-down, for some reason) and Moondancer had a sudden idea. "Uh... Derpy? Can we talk?"
The gray mare landed in front of her with a smile. "Hey, Moondancer. What's up?"
Moondancer took a breath. "Derpy... do you ever make deliveries outside Equestria?" she asked. She liked the mailmare even though she didn't see her much- her schedule kept her in Ponyville for the most part- and it occurred to her that she might be able to help her. Maybe it was because something about Derpy reminded her of that green mare, Minty. They even sounded something alike.
Derpy frowned. "Only on real special occasions. Why?"
Moondancer tried to sound casual. "Did you ever hear of some other town called Ponyville, far away? It would look different from the one around here. I mean, it would be a lot pinker, and they celebrate something called Christmas there, kind of like Hearth's Warming Eve. There's a Pinkie Pie there too, but she's not quite the same. Ever hear of it?"
Derpy took a moment to think. "Not on any map I've ever seen. I think I read some fillies' story like that once, though. It sounds nice."
Moondancer had expected this, but her heart sank regardless. "Thanks anyway. It was just a dream, I guess."
Derpy looked at her sympathetically. "Probably was. Maybe it's really out there somewhere, who knows?" She honestly wished she could do something more for Moondancer- she really looked rather upset- but she was on a tight schedule, so she fluttered off, whistling to herself.
Moondancer went inside and tried to make some headway on that day's homework. She looked back through her textbook, hoping if she re-read this chapter it might make more sense, but she found it slow going and it was dark before she knew it. She gazed out the window for a moment, her eyes starting to close.
"Hey, Moondancer! Long time no see!" came Pinkie Pie's voice.
Moondancer looked up. She was back in that other world. She had to look up to see Pinkie Pie, who for some reason was floating through the air with a bunch of balloons, but she soared down and landed in front of her, smiling gently as Minty, who had been busy chiseling a life-size mint sculpture, came trotting up alongside her.
"Gee, you're not looking too good. I bet some of my pinkest-of-all-pink pancakes would cheer you up!" Without waiting for an answer, Pinkie Pie dashed inside her house, somehow managing to reappear with a stack of pancakes within thirty seconds.
Moondancer smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Pinkie, you're the best." The pancakes were really creamy and sure enough, they did make her feel better. "So what's new around here?"
Minty was bouncing up and down. "Oh, lots! Spike found this old book of fairy tales, he was reading it to us in the library yesterday. I think he reads those stories too much, he's always getting them mixed up!"
That made Moondancer's eyes light up. "You have a library?"
Pinkie nodded. "Of course, we're over there all the time! We can show you sometime if you like."
They started walking together, Pinkie and Minty on either side of her, excitedly pointing things out to her.
"That's the ice cream shop right there, and that's the Rainbow Roller Coaster, it's the best!"
"There's Lily Lightly from Unicornia! You'd like her, Moondancer, she's kind of shy and she knows what it's like to be different."
"Do you like music? There goes the Ladybug Jamboree- oh my, they're a bit out of tune today."
"There's the Here Comes Christmas candy cane! It's a bit early for Christmas but you can never start too early, that's what I always say!"
A trio of small ponies flew past her, sprinkling flowers. She gave a start. "Who are they? I've never seen ponies that small."
Minty gave a giggle. "Oh, those are the Breezies! They always brighten things up, but they can be a little weird." Moondancer looked at Minty with a little concern, then gave a start as the lead Breezie knocked into her by mistake.
"Whoops!" the figure giggled. "Hi, I'm Zipzee. Woah, are those glasses? They look really old. Where are you from? What's your favorite color?" She whirled all around Moondancer, a strange glow emanating from her. There was something oddly relaxing about it. For some reason Moondancer found herself giggling as her new friend kept asking questions.
Minty rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "This is normal, don't worry. Breezies are always curious about everything."
Moondancer smiled as she tried to answer some of the floating pony's questions. "I guess I'm from another world. I don't know how I got here, but I think I like it... a lot." She frowned for a moment and looked at the others. "Does anything bad happen here? I mean, are there bullies, or attacks by monsters, or anything?"
The other ponies looked a little puzzled, then Pinkie Pie gave a soft giggle. "That's so silly! Those things only happen in scary dreams, like that one I had one time." The other ponies nodded. "This isn't like your world, Moondancer. Here you can just slow down and enjoy life."
Zipzee fluttered down softly beside her, holding out a rose. "That's right, you can just stop and smell the flowers." She gave a sniff, then suddenly went "Ah...ah...CHOO!" and was thrown back several meters into a shrubbery. She popped back up, still grinning, then swooped back over to Moondancer. "Sorry, this happens all the time."
Moondancer gave the rose a sniff and closed her eyes contentedly. Yes, this was wonderful. She doubted anypony back home would understand it, but there was something so calm and healing about this place. It was like a magical place where pain didn't exist. Slowly she found her voice. "Uh... guys?" she asked. "Um... I'm really not happy where I come from."
Zipzee fluttered closer and touched her face, looking sad but understanding. "We know, Moondancer. You're our friend and we don't want a friend to be unhappy, that's not the Breezie way. We'd love to have you stay with us."
Moondancer looked up, her heart jumping a little. "Really? I... I think..."
She came awake again suddenly. This time the return to her real world felt more disorienting than the dream. It took her a minute to fully process. She looked out her window, her eyes taking a while to adjust to the sudden return of darkness. She'd really thought it was real this time.
She looked at her reflection and was struck by the empty, tired look in her eyes. She was still young as unicorns go, but she didn't look it or feel it. It felt like the best years of her life had already passed by, and she couldn't see any hope in the future. She would just be ground up and spat out by a system that didn't care, and spend the rest of her life as a pony nopony really wanted to know.
She looked up at the moon and the stars. She'd always loved the stars, so far away, it gave her a strange sense of peace. The thought came to her that she was like a falling star, plummeting with nopony to catch her. Except for her friends in that dream world. They were all she had to hold onto. She tried to think of Pinkie and Minty, and the Rainbow Roller Coaster, and the Breezies...
She closed her eyes. "Okay," she whispered. "Next time... next time I'm staying."
A week rolled by. She was still struggling to stay on top of her work, and it was becoming more of a hassle. Ivy and her gang were still tormenting her as well, and some days she felt too sick to come to school.
Today she was asked to see her science teacher in his office after class. She had failed the last two quizzes and she knew it was going to fry her when grades came out. On top of that the class was assigned yet another paper today. She was still struggling to complete an equally-long history paper which was due this afternoon.
She entered the office nervously. Her teacher looked about as tired as she felt.
"Are you getting enough sleep, Moondancer?" was the first question.
She shrugged wearily. "Not really. I have to stay up most nights to get caught up on everything."
Her teacher was looking rather put-out. "I'm not sure that explains what's going on with you. You seemed to be doing really well until this year, but these last few months your work has really taken a dive. You haven't been participating in class much lately either."
She looked at him, pleading. "I know. I'm sorry, I've just been feeling down lately and I haven't been able to focus. I really do know this stuff, I just got a bit behind and I couldn't keep up... if I could just retake that last test..."
He shook his head. "I'm sorry but I can't bend the rules for you. If you can't turn things around then you're not going to pass."
Moondancer stared at him, her lip quivering. "But I don't want to be... w-what am I going to do?" she asked. She couldn't remember ever feeling this helpless.
"This is really something you should talk about with your counselor. I'm not sure why you're even taking this class, you've never seemed to enjoy it much."
Moondancer opened her mouth desperately but couldn't find the words. She just knew she was going to fail, it was too late in the semester to turn things around at this point, and her grades in her other classes were hardly any better. She was starting to feel she might be sick. If she was sent back to Magic Kindergarten her family would kill her for sure. She looked around the room as though looking for somepony to speak up for her, then turned like an automaton and walked out of the room.
It felt like everything was against her. No matter what she did she just couldn't win.
The next few hours passed in a blur. It was as though the clocks had been jinxed to go into overdrive. She was given another essay in physics class- ten pages long- and she wasn't even caught up on her work from the previous day.
She went to the library during lunch and tried to finish her paper from yesterday. She knew she hadn't done a very good job and she was running out of time to get it finished before her next class. It wasn't easy work because Ivy and some of her friends were prancing around the bookshelves, making a lot of noise, and it was hard to concentrate.
Suddenly she felt a tap on her shoulder. She whipped around nervously, but it was only Lemon Hearts, who never usually said anything to her.
"Hey, Moondancer! You've been looking pretty out of it lately." There was a cheeriness in the yellow pony's voice that seemed wholly inappropriate. "Look, I just saw your counselor and she's been looking for you. You'd better go up and see her."
Moondancer couldn't even think about this right now. "Okay, I just need a few minutes-"
Lemon Hearts frowned. "She seemed pretty worried, Moondancer. I think you should go right now."
"I'll see her later, okay? I just have to get this done before my next class-"
Lemon Hearts didn't seem to be hearing her. "Look, she made it sound really urgent..."
Moondancer jumped up suddenly. If there had been a beaker nearby she had a good idea what she might have done with it, but as it was she just stared at Lemon Hearts for a moment, trembling, then turned and ran, not knowing where she was going.
She approached the stairs leading up to the counselor's office, took one step, then stopped numbly, unable to go any further. She just wanted to be away from all this.
I don't care anymore. I hate school anyway!
She turned around and saw an exit door a few meters away. It seemed to be beckoning to her. She ran through the door into the sunlit day, and kept running until she'd put as much distance between herself and this building as possible.
That was the day her ex-best friend decided to show up and reopen all the wounds.
"Moondancer, you have to give friendship a chance!"
To Moondancer it seemed they were speaking from a thousand miles away. Twilight looked so healthy, so normal, so confident, nothing like the pony she had used to know. She couldn't understand why Twilight was even bothering. How could she ever trust her again?
She began to laugh, a horrible, empty, hollow sound. The sound of a broken mare.
"You l-left me here all alone... you think you can c-come back here after years... and just say you're sorry?!" If anything, the fact that Twilight could think this made it even worse.
Twilight shook her head. "Moondancer, please, I just didn't think-"
"No!" the unicorn sobbed. "No, you sure didn't think! I don't need you, okay? I g-got over it..." No, I didn't. I never got over it. How could I? "Did you come back to see how much my life sucks now? You just wanted me to feel even worse, didn't you?"
Twilight came nearer, her eyes wide and concerned. "Moondancer, you have to listen to me... you need help, please let me help you!"
Moondancer trembled for a moment, not knowing what to do. A part of her was screaming at her to listen to Twilight, but despite everything she'd suffered, lonely and miserable as she was, she still had some pride left, and deep down she knew that accepting charity from this pony- the one who had ruined her life- was more than she could bear.
"Why don't you just leave me alone?!" she screamed. She was hardly conscious of what she was saying, but it was coming from somewhere deep inside. "You don't really care, you just think I'm pathetic, don't you? I know everypony does, so you don't have to rub it in!" She took a breath, her vision blurred with tears. "You know something, Twilight? There's another world out there somewhere, a better place where there's lots of ponies who like me! I've got to get back there, Twilight, that's where I belong!" Before Twilight could say anything more Moondancer's horn glowed softly and she'd disappeared- taking a glimmer of satisfaction that she could pull off that spell just as well as her former best friend.
That's it. I've had enough. I'm never coming back!
She didn't know what she was going to do. All she knew was she couldn't stay in this place another day. She trotted through the night, hardly aware of what was in front of her. She felt a little ashamed for snapping at Twilight like that, but she just couldn't think straight right now.
She distantly heard the sound of the train as it pulled into the station nearby. That could be her way out, she thought desperately. She didn't know where it was going, but as long as it was away from here...
She stopped, thinking hard. She didn't have anywhere to go. It might be a bad idea. Then she thought of going to school tomorrow, facing another day of isolation and ridicule.
No! her mind screamed. I have to get out of here!
But the train had already started to pull away. A mad impulse took hold of her and before she knew what she was doing, she had dashed forward and jumped onto one of the cars, holding on with all her might as the train took off. She felt a rush of exhilaration as they picked up speed. It was like a weight lifting from her shoulders. At least I'm getting out of here. One way or another...
She looked around as the countryside sped by her, still breathing heavily, trying to control her feelings of despair and panic.
As the minutes went by she realized with trepidation that the train wasn't going to stop any time soon. She'd thought it was fun at first, but the night was getting colder and her hooves were starting to feel numb. A wave of panic came over her and fresh tears came to her eyes. It has to stop, she kept thinking, but it didn't. It was picking up speed now, racing through one town, then another, then another...
It doesn't matter, she thought dully. I can't take it anymore. I can't take another day of this.
She looked up at the stars as the train sped on even faster, wishing hopelessly that her entire life had just been some nightmare that she could wake up from.
She wasn't sure she could hold on much longer and her hooves were starting to slip. She closed her eyes as the roar of the train grew louder...
"Hi, Moondancer! It's okay, you're here with us!"
She opened her eyes and looked around. She was back in the dream world and it was snowing gently. Her friends were all there- Pinkie Pie, Minty, Zipzee, they all looked happy to see her.
Pinkie Pie was beaming excitedly. "Oh, it's so good to see you, and so close to Christmas too!" She tossed her mane lightly. "This will be the best... what's wrong?"
Moondancer looked around at her friends, crying softly. "I... I want to stay here with you, please! It's just getting so bad... I can't go back, I can't survive there, please, don't make me go back..."
Pinkie Pie came up to her and wrapped her hooves around her. Moondancer gave a small sob, not sure if she could remember somepony holding her like this before. Pinkie reached out a hoof gently, wiping her tears away. "We love you, Moondancer. You don't belong in that world. You can stay here with us." The words sent a flutter through Moondancer's heart.
"Is this real?" she asked. "I... I don't want to wake up this time."
Pinkie Pie nodded reassuringly, looking a little sad. "It's okay. You're here for good this time, I promise. We'd all love to have you here."
Moondancer lifted her gaze, starting to smile through her tears. "Do you mean it?"
Minty came over and joined the hug. "Of course we mean it, silly! You're our best friend, don't you know that?"
Moondancer looked at them both and held on tighter, needing to feel that they were there. She closed her eyes as the pink mare rocked her gently, taking in this new feeling of tranquility.
"Come on!" said Pinkie Pie brightly. "We're all ready for you."
Moondancer blinked. "Ready?" Next thing she knew, they were heading into the Cotton Candy Cafe.
"Surprise!" came a chorus of voices, as more ponies jumped out- Rarity, Scootaloo, Sweetberry, and half a dozen more, a collection of creamy pink cakes and cotton candy around them. There was a sudden shower of mint-green confetti- she was able to guess who had provided that without too much difficulty.
Pinkie Pie smiled at her. "You're here to stay now, Moondancer. So here's a party welcoming you home." She picked up a party hat and placed it on the unicorn's head.
Moondancer felt a lump come to her throat as she looked around at all the smiling ponies, as this feeling of acceptance washed over her. They're all so happy I'm here, she thought. They really like me... "Thanks, girls... I'm glad to be here."
It was night now, but there was still a lovely, warm feeling in the air, or maybe it was coming from somewhere inside her. She was in Pinkie Pie's house now with Minty and they were having marshmallows and hot chocolate in front of the fire.
"This is the best day ever, isn't it?" Minty asked, leaning against her.
Moondancer nodded. "Yeah... I think I ate too much pie, but..." She gave a little giggle. "I can't believe this is real, it's so... it's everything I ever wanted. I know I'm going to love it here."
She was starting to feel a little tired. It had felt like a very long day. Pinkie Pie seemed to notice this, so she gently slid a hoof around her and guided her into bed.
Moondancer closed her eyes for a moment, then looked at her new friends and smiled. "What are we going to do tomorrow?"
"Anything," said Pinkie Pie gently. "We can ride my Ferris wheel, or build one of my patented pinkest-of-all-pink floats, or build a snowman. Just slow down and enjoy life."
Moondancer let herself relax as Pinkie Pie wrapped a blanket around her and got into bed beside her, while Minty gently plopped her Santa hat over her new friend's head.
"Shh," said Pinkie Pie. "It's time to sleep, Moondancer. I'll tell you a nice happy bedtime story, okay?"
Moondancer nodded as Pinkie rocked her gently, and started to tell her a story about two ponies who had dreamed of flying. She felt herself getting pleasantly sleepy. Everything was going to be okay now. She was far, far away from that other world, the one that had hurt her.
She lay there in her friends' warm embrace, while Zipzee fluttered aimlessly around the house, humming softly. It was so wonderful and magical that Moondancer felt totally at peace. There was no pain here. No need to rush. She could just take it slow, one day at a time, with her new friends. She closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of the fire, imagining herself riding the Rainbow Roller Coaster with all her friends...
It's okay. This is my home now, I'm with my friends, and I'm never going to leave, she thought fervently. I'm so happy...
The train driver's lantern cast an ominous red glow on the snow-swept landscape. The train had already been reported behind schedule, then word got out that there had been some kind of accident, so a number of ponies had come to see what had happened. As they hurried forward, they glimpsed a small pony lying motionless. She had died of a broken neck.
A paramedic wagon came clattering up, siren blaring. The noise and the lights had drawn quite a crowd, all scurrying toward the scene. Derpy was among them, a look of blank shock in her eyes, which for once were uncrossed.
The conductor hurried to meet them, pale-faced and shaking. "I don't... I don't know what happened... she must have hitched a ride and..." He'd only been with the railroad business a month and felt that after tonight, he might not be long for the job.
"Did you see her? Before she jumped?"
"Just for a moment. She... she looked real bad, her eyes just looked so empty and then... she just let go."
The paramedic crouched down and examined her intently, then shook his head. "She died quickly, at least. I doubt she felt anything."
In the distance they saw some more ponies approaching. Twilight approached slowly and stared down at her. "Moondancer... I'm so sorry..." She lowered a hoof to Moondancer's face, gently closing her eyes. "I tried to help her, but I couldn't- I just couldn't get through!" She cradled her friend's body tenderly. "It's okay, Moondancer... I hope you're somewhere where you aren't hurting anymore. Just rest, okay?"
They stood and watched as the paramedics loaded the corpse into a hearse, which had been sent by a small funeral parlor nearby. As the doors slammed shut, the paramedic took a look at the dead pony's face. He'd been doing this for years- not pleasant, but somepony had to do it- and had seen more than his share of corpses, though he had never seen one look quite so calm.
The crowd slowly dispersed. Twilight stayed where she was, her head down. She heard the sound of wheels scraping and looked up as the black wagon slowly lumbered away. The moon had come out suddenly, and for an instant it illuminated the stark gray lettering on its side.
Ponyville Funeral Service- Third Generation.
Author's Note
This was partly based on my own experiences with depression and it was kind of a headache to write, because I kept going back and re-writing a lot of scenes because I wasn't sure they were good enough, so I'm glad I finally got it done.
I've developed a real fondness for the G3 universe because its innocent sugar bowl setting can actually be very appealing, so it makes sense to me that someone like Moondancer would find it alluring. Also, some details were inspired by this Youtube video:
I'll Die Anyway || Moondancer MLP || Vent animatic PMV - YouTube
