The "Darling" Jar

by Boltstrike58

Rating: everyone
Tags: Equestria Girls, Main 7 (EqG), Random, Slice of Life, Rarity (EqG), Comedy
Length: 1654

Rarity attempts to beat Rainbow Dash in a bet, utilizing a personal "Darling Jar."

Rarity is a woman of many talents, including the absolute control over her vocabulary. At least, that's what she thought, until Rainbow Dash made a bet with her. A bet that Rarity can't go without saying the word "darling." Rarity's gonna need a lot of quarters by the time this is over.

My attempt to take one joke from Equestria Girls, and somehow turn it into a fic, in the same vein as Why Do We Hate Each Other? Another quick comedy story I wrote because I was bored.

Published 2023-11-06 00:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-11-06 00:10:00 UTC

There Goes My Allowance

On a typical school day, the group of Canterlot High students collectively known as the Rainbooms could be found at one of the many tables in the cafeteria. They hadn't claimed a specific table as their own, mostly because nobody wanted to deal with the hassle. At the present time, the seven girls were engaged in a lively conversation, thankfully devoid of any kind of magical threat looming over their heads.

"So then I told Big Mac, 'No wonder your crust wasn't thick enough!'" said Applejack, finishing off a particularly long story. The other six howled with chortles, especially Pinkie Pie, who nearly fell out of her seat.

"Oh, Applejack, darling! Your little escapades always bring a smile to my face. Are you quite certain that your counterpart in Equestria isn't the one that embodies laughter, instead of Pinkie?" asked Rarity in between chuckles.

The guffaws eventually died out, and everybody could once again take bites of their food without the fear of asphyxiation. However, as she ate, Rarity noticed Rainbow Dash looking at her curiously.

"Something the matter, Rainbow?" she asked.

"Not exactly," replied the athlete. "It's just that...why do you always call everyone 'darling?'"

"Oh, pish posh," insisted Rarity. "I don't call everyone 'darling.' I merely use it as an occasional term of endearment with close friends."

Rainbow's mouth curved upwards into a knowing smile. "Oh, occasional? Yeah, right. You use that word like every other sentence!"

"Darling, I do not!" Rarity shot back. "I never use the word 'darling' with casual acquaintances!"

"If you say so," Rainbow teased. "Plus, you used it just now."

"Not to be rude, but you did use it twice in the span of about one minute just now," said Sunset. Upon seeing the glare Rarity sent her way, she hurriedly held up her hands. "Not that that's a bad thing, of course! Just pointing it out!"

Rarity huffed. Clearly, these friends of hers weren't going to let this subject drop. "I'll have you know that I hardly ever use the word 'darling!'" she stated, punctuating it with a stomp of her foot. "Twilight, back me up! How many times do I say the word 'darling' per day?"

Twilight blinked. "Rarity, I haven't been keeping track of that sort of thing. Plus, I'd need a large data pool to get an accurate average measurement."

Rarity opened her mouth, but then closed it, conceding Twilight had a point. "Fine, I admit it would be silly to track that. Nonetheless, I don't use darling as much as you say, Rainbow."

"Oh, please!" Rainbow scoffed. "You couldn't go one day without saying 'darling!' Heck, you couldn't go one hour!"

"Um, Rainbow? I don't think—" Fluttershy began.

"Hey, I've got an idea!" Pinkie chimed in, cutting her off. "How about we actually test how much Rarity says 'darling?'"

That piqued Rarity's interest. "What sort of test did you have in mind, dar—Pinkie?" She quietly breathed a sigh of relief that she managed to catch herself.

"Well," Pinkie began, "since it's unlikely that one of us can be standing by Rarity all the time, this will have to be on the honor system. What if we did something like a swear jar? Except, instead of swearing, every time Rarity says the word 'darling,' she has to put in a quarter?"

There was silence for a couple of seconds as everyone thought about it.

"Well, I think it's a good idea," said Rainbow. "It'll totally prove me right!"

"I think we can't let Rainbow have all the change that's gonna end up in the jar," added Applejack. "At least, not by herself."

"Well, despite your lack of faith in me," replied Rarity, shooting an annoyed glare at everyone around the table, "I see no reason to oppose this. I say, bring on the 'darling jar!' Also, that one doesn't count."

"Sounds good to me!" said Pinkie, reaching into her hair and pulling out an empty glass jar. The lid had a small, rectangular hole cut into it. At the look everyone gave her, Pinkie added, "I have jars lying around in case of jar emergencies!"

"Yes, whatever." Rarity took the jar, cramming it into her purse. "I do hope you enjoy the taste of defeat, Rainbow Dash. I assure you, I am in full control of my vocabulary!"

"Wait a minute. Can we trust Rarity to always pay up whenever she says 'darling?'" asked Sunset.

Rarity gave her another look. "I may not represent the Element of Honesty, but I assure you, my integrity is pure."

"If you say so."

A thought suddenly occurred to Rarity. "Do I have to pay if I say 'darling' when I'm reading something out loud in class?"

"No, Rarity."

"Excellent."

The next day, Rarity got out of bed with a yawn, and put on one of her many fabulous outfits. Opening the door to her bedroom, she strolled out into her house. Another door-opening sound alerted her to Sweetie Belle coming out, dressed as well.

"Good morning, Sweetie, darling—" Rarity began, only to flinch when she'd realized what she'd said. Groaning, she fetched the jar, and dropped a quarter inside, where it landed with a CLANG.

"Already starting to lose that bet with Rainbow?" asked Sweetie, her voice giving away the massive grin on her face.

Rarity narrowed her eyes. She should've guessed that Rainbow would tell Scootaloo, who in turn informed the rest of the Canterlot Movie Club.

"This is a minor setback," she insisted. "I'm absolutely certain I can keep...that word...out of my diction for the rest of the day. Perhaps even the week!"

"Uh-huh. Sure you can," replied Sweetie, the smile not even dropping a tiny bit.

Rarity rolled her eyes, but said nothing else.

Sitting at her desk in physics class (Twilight and Sunset were the only ones taking advanced physics), Rarity sat up straight and listened carefully, as always.

"Now then," said Mr. Time Turner, "who can tell me the relationship between force and mass?"

Rarity raised her hand. "It's very simple, darling. It—"

CLANG!

Rarity, Pinkie, and Sunset sat in art class, sketching away on their papers. Sunset held hers up, looking at it with a scrutinizing eye.

"Hey, Rarity?" she asked. "Does this perspective look right to you? Or am I making the hands too big?"

Rarity carefully picked up Sunset's drawing. The former unicorn was working on a picture of the seven members of the Rainbooms, all of whom were drawn in their pony-up forms, striking intense poses. Rarity smiled as she took in the picture.

"Oh, Sunset, darling! You've simply outdone yourself!"

"Rarity," said Pinkie, mischievously.

CLANG!

Walking down the hallway towards her next class, Rarity took a moment to look over her homework from the night before to make sure it was done correctly. Just before she reached the classroom, a rainbow-colored streak zoomed past her, and the rush of air as it went by sent the paper flying out of her hands.

"No no no, wait wait wait!" shouted Rarity, as she dove after the paper, but narrowly missed, landing on her stomach as it floated upwards. Suddenly, the rainbow streak returned, and Rainbow Dash (for of course, it was she) jumped up and snagged the homework out of the air.

"Sorry, Rarity!" she said, as she passed the paper back. "Sometimes, I'm going so fast, I don't even see other people until I've already passed them!"

Rarity huffed. "Rainbow, darling, must you always—"

CLANG!

After school, Rarity and Fluttershy found themselves over at Canterlot High's tennis courts. Following Rarity's powerful serve, Fluttershy delivered an impressive lob shot that zipped past Rarity, in spite of her efforts to hit it. That gave Fluttershy yet another point.

Rarity stomped her feet, tempted to throw down her racket, as she thrust her hands towards the sky, and yelled, "DAR—"

CLANG!

Fluttershy blinked in surprise. "You say 'darling' when you're angry?"

Rarity shrugged. "Force of habit."

Rarity released a long yawn as she stretched in her brand-new pajamas. Then, she climbed into her four-poster bed and laid her head back onto the pillow. With a clap, she shut off the lamp next to her bed.

"Good-night, d—"

CLANG!

It was lunch the next day at school. The Rainbooms were once again gathered at a table, eating happily. Then, Applejack took a quick look around, and noticed something.

"Anybody seen Rarity today?" she asked. "Usually, she ain't late to lunch."

"I don't think any of us have early classes with her," said Twilight. "Still, it is surprising. Based on—"

THUMP!

Everyone whipped around to find Rarity falling into the last seat at the table. The fashionista's hair was disheveled, her eyes were red, and her mascara was running from her eyes. Before anyone could say anything, Rarity reached into her purse, and pulled out the "darling jar," which was filled to the brim with quarters.

"You win, Rainbow Dash. You win," Rarity breathed, before falling face-first onto the table.

"Uh...you alright there, Rarity?" asked Rainbow, gently prodding her friend. Rarity didn't respond.

"You said 'darling' that many times?!" exclaimed Fluttershy, grabbing the jar. "It's only been two days!"

The remaining five girls all turned their attention to Rainbow, who hurriedly threw up her hands.

"I swear, I didn't think it'd go this far!" she insisted. "It was just a joke!"

Rarity lifted her head. "Well, the good news is I've become more mindful of my diction," she stated. "I suppose that will come in handy in the future."

"Yeah..." replied Rainbow. She took the jar from Fluttershy and handed it back to Rarity. "Why don't you just take this money back? I'm sure you'll get more use out of it than we would as a group."

"Thank you, dear," said Rarity.

The rest of the group shared a small chuckle, before the conversation changed to something less stressful.