Chapter 1: Welcome. Everything Is Fine.
Flitter's eyes snapped open.
She looked around the room, surveying the tan walls, potted plants, and the nice leather couch she was sitting on.She tried to remember how she got there but when she attempted to remember, it all became so fuzzy.
The thing that stood out to her most in this room, was the large green letters painted on the wall in front of her reading, "Welcome. Everything Is Fine."
Flitter began to softly panic and then she slowly took a deep breath. As she let it out, she repeated those words in her head. "Everything is fine. Everything is fine. Everything is-"
Her thoughts were interrupted when an older stallion wearing a sharp black suit walked in. "Flitter?" Flitter slowly nodded her head as the stallion smiled. "Come on in!"
Flitter got up from the couch and walked towards the stallion. He gestured to the door and she walked through it into an office space with a desk, a lot of cacti, and a strange bowl full of paper clips. The stallion walked in after her and shut the door. He sat down at his desk and gestured to the chair across from him telling Flitter to do the same.
"Hello, Flitter. It's nice to meet you. My name is Michael." He stuck out his hoof and Flitter cautiously shook it. How did this stallion know her name? Had they met before? "Let me make this simple." The stallion took a deep breath. "You are dead."
Flitter jumped up out of the seat. "What? I can't be dead! There's still so much I wanted to accomplish with my life!"
The stallion smiled. "Not anymore. Please sit down."
Flitter glared at him but reluctantly sat down. The stallion smiled. "Listen, Flitter. There's no need to worry about anything. You're in The Good Place. This world is your eternal reward for the good things you accomplished during your life." He picked up a file off of his desk. "It says here that you worked as the manager of the weather ponies and regulated when each region would get rain and made sure it was just enough to water the crop and nothing more. That's a lot of good. Definitely a lot of points."
Flitter held up a hoof. "I'm sorry? Points?"
Michael nodded. "You see, Flitter..." We waved a hoof and a chart appeared out of what seemed like thin air. He scrolled down on the chart and Flitter saw her name pop up with the number 5,973,290 next to it. "Every action you take in Equestria has a point total based on the amount of good or bad it put into the world. Just working where you did made you a gold mine's worth of points because you regulated the agriculture of so many different Earth Pony societies!"
Flitter nodded and smiled. "I didn't realize managing a weather company was enough to rack up all of these points."
Michael nodded. "Now, let's see..." He began flipping through the other papers in the file. "It seems you died after making contact with liquid thunder in the weather factory. Obviously, you know what happened next."
Of course Flitter knew what happened after that. Liquid thunder is one of the most deadly substances to pegasi. When a pegasus comes into contact with the electric blue substance, they're paralyzed and their powers come to a halt for a little bit.
Flitter realized that she must have touched the thunder and fallen through the cloud floors of the weather factory. "Why in Equestria would I touch liquid thunder? The only places where that stuff goes is the mixing vat in the storm room and the pipes leading to the cloud construction room."
"It seems that while you were walking through the storm room, one of the pipes was unstable and burst. Before you realized what happened, you were covered with the stuff. Of course, you passed out and fell through the cloud floor. You know, you really should put tiles on the floor of that room like you have in the cloud construction room."
"Was I the only one who died in that accident?"
Michael shook his head. "After reviewing the accident, it seems three other workers died at the same time as you."
"Who?"
"Ponies named Eventide, Silver Storm, and... oh my!"
"What! What's wrong."
Michael shook his head. "I don't think I should tell you the name of the last worker as it may upset you and this is supposed to be a place of eternal happiness."
I tilt my head. "Who could possibly upset me that much?"
Michael sighed. "If I tell you, you must understand that there's nothing you could have done to stop it from happening." I nod. "The last pony who died in that accident was your sister, Stormwalker."
Stormwalker? Nopony had called her that since Flitter was a little filly. Everypony else just called her Cloudchaser. She always said it sounded less edgy. "Cloudchaser's dead? That's impossible. She was a field worker! She should have been out arranging clouds for Equestria!"
Michael shifted in his seat. "It seems she was trying to talk to you and she followed you into the storm room and..."
"Dang it Cloudchaser! Always in the wrong place at the wrong time! Forking dumbash." Flitter's head tilted. "Fork? Fork. Fork. Why can't I say fork?"
"Ah yes. That there's the filter we've placed on all Good Place residents. You can't curse here."
"Ash. Fork. Shirt. Bench. Oh my goddess!"
Suddenly, a white pony with a beautiful blonde mane burst into the room. "Michael. Big problem. Sorry to interrupt but it seems that a few of the residents are arguing over who has the better living situation and it's causing another rift."
"Forking shirt Eleanor! I'm in the middle of welcoming a new resident."
"Geez! I said sorry. Forking bench." She walked out of the room and yelled back, "I guess I'll fix all this shirt by myself!"
Michael chuckled and looked back to Flitter. "As you can see, you weren't the only pony who enjoyed cursing. Anyways, there is something I should warn you about. I know how close you were with your sister which is why it is my unfortunate job to inform you that your sister will not be joining you here."
"What do you mean?"
"She's in The Bad Place, Flitter"
Flitter's heart stops. "Wh-What! What do you mean? We did almost everything together! There's no way she could've gotten even a point less!"
"Well..." Michael paused. "Would you like to see your sister's point total? I can give you an explanation if you wish." Flitter, nods and Michael claps his hooves. Right next to where Flitter's name and number was, was the name "Stormwalker" with the number 400,325.
"I don't understand! How could she have lived such a worse life than me?"
"She did a lot of things when you weren't with her, Flitter." He then turned towards the wall and spoke loudly, "Janet!" A pony appeared directly in front of him. I couldn't believe my eyes.
"Yes, Michael?"
"Please fetch me the file of the life of a pony named Stormwalker."
"I can do that for you!" The pony pulled a manilla folder out of thin air. "There you go!" Flitter couldn't believe it! This pony looked normal but something about the way she acted was almost robotic.
"Thank you Janet." He waved a hoof and the pony disappeared. Michael looked at Flitter's confused expression and laughed. "Oh! That was Janet. You can call for her any time and she can bring you whatever your heart desires. Anyways..." He opened the file and began reading. His expressions changed from confused to surprised to a bunch of other emotions that Flitter couldn't exactly place her hoof on.
"I see." Michael closed the file and looked Flitter in the eyes. "It seems your sister led a very different life behind closed doors."
"Look, Michael. I just want to know how it's possible that I got such a high point total and hers was so low."
"Well, let's go through the major points. First of all, her job wasn't quite as effective as yours. She still gained quite a lot of points from her job, just not nearly as much as you did. In fact, more than half of her points came from her job. Other than that, she was certainly a nice pony. She gained minimal points from small actions throughout her lifetime. But I'm sure what you're more interested in is what lost her points."
"No shirt Sherlock!"
"Okay okay! First of all, she cut a lot of classes, she once vandalized public property with a group of friends, and she, no offense, was kind of... How do I put this... She was... A pony...who..." Michael's head was spinning as he tried to find a way to describe what happened without being to vulgar. "Offered services for money."
"Bullshirt! My sister would never do that kind of shirt!" Then, Flitter paused. There were always a lot of times that Cloudchaser was able to afford things that Flitter couldn't, despite Flitter having the better paying job. Flitter always wondered how she came up with the money. Now it kind of made sense. "What else?"
"Oh believe me. Those are the small things. She once attacked somepony for flicking a piece of paper at her. She broke two of his hooves and his muzzle. She embezzled funds from Cloudsdale Weather Corporation, and... oh my! She had a drunken affair with your boyfriend..." Michael paused surveying Flitter's hurt expression and cautiously continued, "On seven separate occasions."
"What the fork Cloudchaser!" Flitter felt a boiling rage in her stomach as she realized that everything Michael was saying was true. She half-wished her sister was in The Good Place just so she could beat the ever-loving shirt out of her.
She then sighed and said, "But her score is still pretty good! Why isn't she here with us?"
"The bar is very high for making it into The Good Place. In fact, as Equestria continues to grow, it becomes harder and harder to be a good person. That was actually something that me and my friend Eleanor learned. You already met her of course." Michael clapped again and a big data table popped up and began running numbers. Words then popped up reading, "Neighborhood average: 4,089,325
"I'm sorry, neighborhood average? What does it mean by 'neighborhood?"
"The Good Place is separated into millions of different neighborhoods. Each one houses about 322 people. I'm the architect. I'm the one who created the neighborhood and designed everything in it."
"Okay. So, is there any way for Cloudchaser to get here anyways?"
"I suppose you would be able to make a case to the high judge, but you don't even have a leg to stand on. The point total is so low that even millions of years ago, she wouldn't have made it into The Good Place."
"I suppose. I just wish she were here." Suddenly, Janet popped up next to Flitter. "If you wish, I can create a complete exact copy of your sister and she can stay with you to distract you from the fact that your real sister is being tortured for all of eternity."
"Janet! Out!" Michael sighed and waved his hoof and Janet disappeared. "I swear that mare drives me crazy sometimes."
Janet popped up and said, "Not a mare." and the disappeared.
Michael stomped his hoof on the floor and sighed again. "I'm sorry Flitter. I know this isn't what you expected in the afterlife but, I can assure you that you will be happy here."
Flitter sighed and kicked her hoof. "I guess."
"I can see that you're still conflicted in emotion. You know, Janet's offer will always be on the table. In fact, I might be able to pull a few strings to get you a visit with your sister."
"No, it's okay. I'm fine. Everything is fine."
Michael chuckled a little. "Come now! That's my slogan! You stole that!" He managed to get a small smile out of Flitter.
"Now then, would you like me to show you the rest of the neighborhood?"
Flitter nodded. Her mind was flooded with thoughts. Her sister wasn't who she had thought, but she knew one thing.
She was going to find a way to break her sister out of the Bad Place.
Author's Note
This is an experimental story because I liked the idea and kind of wanted to make it.
Please leave a comment letting me know what you think. It really helps me to know what everypony thinks about my writing.
Anyways, enjoy the rest of your day :)
(P.S. If you're worried about how this chapter completely ignores the ending of "The Good Place", I promise, it will all be explained in the next chapter. Just keep in mind that everything that happened in "The Good Place" still happened.)
Chapter 2: Thousands of Bearimys
"Michael, I was promised-"
"I know what you were promised your honor but please, just hear me out."
"No. I don't think you understand. When Eleanor asked me to allow you a life in Equestria, she promised I would never see any of you ever again. And then I said, 'You guys are pretty annoying.' I know that last part has nothing to do with what is happening here, but it was pretty snappy at the time."
Michael huffed. He was attempting to make a deal with the judge of the universe. Needless to say, it wasn't going very smoothly. "Your honor, If you'll just listen, I just have a simple request."
"Fine. It's not like many ponies come through here anymore. Lay it on me."
"It's been thousands of Bearimys since my time in Equestria. I've come to find myself missing my friends. Sure, Janet still remains but she honestly has no choice. I have asked, and Janet feels the same way. Of course more about Jason than any of the other ponies. All I'm requesting is that you allow us to create copies of the originals and set things back to the way they were."
The judge held up a hoof. "So you want me to essentially reverse the course of your actions over LITERAL THOUSANDS OF BEARIMYS??? Do you even understand what you're suggesting? Not only are you suggesting that we disrupt the space time continuum, but you are also suggesting that we revert this almost flawless system back to the way Shawn had it before. Are you really going to look Shawn in the eye and tell him he was right?"
Michael growled a little at the mention of Shawn's name. Shawn was his former boss back when Michael was a bad place demon. He and Michael had developed a brand new method of psychological torture in which humans would torture each other without even realizing they're doing it. Eventually, Michael abandoned the plan and helped the four pony test subjects escape. Michael and his friends had traveled across different dimensions to attempt to prove that the point system was flawed and that they needed a new one.
Eventually, they had come to an agreement to fix the system. When they finally reached the real Good Place, they realized that it too, was flawed and they had to fix that as well. Finally, they created a gateway to a place where your entire being would dissolve into nothingness and you would finally leave the plane of existence.
The only one of his friends who hadn't gone through the gateway was a mare named Tahani Al Jamil. She had stayed behind and had become a Good Place architect. Sure, it was nice to visit her from time to time but he wanted all of his friends back. "I mean, the other option is you could just call my friends back and we could all live in the eternity of the Good Place forever!"
"Michael! I have no control over them. They have literally left the confines of this plane. There is no way for me to call them back!"
Michael sighed. "I know. I just miss them a lot."
The judge smiled. "Tell you what, and I'm not just saying this to get you away from me for as long as possible, I'll recreate your friends and we can revert the system. We can make a few changes that will make it possible for ponies to enter both the good and bad places. Finally, we will cancel the test methods and everypony will be judged based on they're score in life and only life. No more of this 'morality after death bullshirt.' Got it!"
Michael nodded. The judge continued, "We just have to get Shawn on board."
"Oh come on. He'll be overjoyed to torture ponies again and you know it."
The judge nodded. "All right, let's go."
The judge waved her hoof and smiled. She gestured towards a green door. "When you enter this door, the entirety of the universe's afterlife will have been shifted. I know you did this for your friends but I hope you know that I trust that you did the right thing Michael."
Michael nodded and happily ran through the green door.
* * *
"And that's why things are the way they are now, Flitter. You see, We have reverted everything back to the way it was. Except for the gateway in The Good Place. That's there for the better." Michael was showing Flitter around the neighborhood as he was explaining the story.
"Why's that?"
"When paradise goes on for eternity, it loses its special feeling. Ponies will begin to become mindless zombies. We changed a lot of things a few thousand bearimys ago. We just needed to find the right balance."
"So where is this magic gateway?"
"Oh come now, Flitter! Don't tell me you want to destroy yourself already! You haven't even done anything in this beautiful neighborhood yet!" Michael pointed to a building with a green door. "All you have to do is imagine a scenario, and step through that door and you can experience it! There are literally no limits!"
Flitter smiled. She knew this was exactly the thing she would need to devise her plan to break her sister out of The Bad Place. She had to save that until after the tour though. "What is that thing you keep saying? Bearimy's? What's that?"
"Oh! I'm glad you asked. It's a time measurement used by everypony in the afterlife. You see, the entirety of existence can be described by this." He waved a hoof and a big white screen popped up with a long squiggle. "This squiggle loops around infinitely. It just so happens to look like the words Jeremy Bearimy in cursive so that's what we call it."
Janet popped up and pointed to the bottom curve of the letter B. "That's my birthday!" She then disappeared.
Michael waved a hoof dismissively. "Ignore her. She always does that when we're explaining Jeremy Bearimy. Now, if you'll look over there, you'll see your house. We designed it based on what we believed would be your ideal house from your life."
Flitter nodded. "Thank you, Michael. But I think I'm actually going to head to the green door."
Michael nodded. "Of course. Everypony always does. But we have a party welcoming everypony to the new neighborhood tonight so make sure to be there!" He smiled and began walking back towards his office.
Flitter made her way back to the plaza. She could see tons of different shops and restaurants for miles. She couldn't remember which one was the green door so she decided to try something out. "Janet?" Suddenly Janet pops up right next to her.
"Yes, Flitter?"
"Can you point me towards the green door?"
Janet smiled. "Actually, any door can be the green door. Just imagine the scenario you want to and imagine the door you want to walk through is the green door and it will be."
"That's a lot of imagining."
"yes. It's very overwhelming at first."
"Thank you."
"No problem!" Janet disappeared. Flitter walked towards the nearest shop and began to imagine. I want a perfect recreation of the bad place and where my sister is being held. Flitter walked towards the door and opened it. When she opened it, she saw a bright green light. Flitter walked through the door and was immediately thrown back out.
"Ow! Motherforker! Janet?"
"Yes, Flitter?"
"Why did the door kick me out?"
Janet's face twisted a little in confusion. "I don't know. Where were you trying to go?"
Flitter stopped for a second. If she told Janet the truth, she would question why she wanted to see the Bad Place. "Um... A go-karting track filled with monkeys?"
Janet smiled and clapped her hands. "Oh! I don't know why you couldn't access the door! But please, come with me. There's somepony I want to introduce you to."
Flitter shrugged her shoulders and followed Janet. Soon, they reached yet another restaurant. "Stupid Nick's Wing Dump? Who in Equestria would ever eat in a trashy wing place like this?"
Janet laughed. "Only one pony!"
She walked over to the door and took out a key. "So what, Janet, you just have keys to everypony's house?"
"Nope! Just this one!" Flitter's head tilted in confusion. She walked closer to the door as Janet pushed it open. "Jason, Honey! I'm home!"
A shout of "Oh dip! Let's go!" came from upstairs as Flitter heard a small crash and a door opening. An earth pony soon came rolling down the stairs.
Janet gasped. "Jason, are you okay?"
"Yeah! This is The Good Place. I don't feel pain if I don't want to!" Janet nodded as Jason turned to look Flitter's direction. "Who's this?"
"Believe it or not, Jason, this is somepony who decided to do the exact same thing you dreamed about your entire life! I thought you two could get along!"
"Oh dip! That's what's up! Yo, I got a Madden game running upstairs if you wanna join. You play?"
Flitter shook her head. "No. But I'd be happy to learn!"
"Let's go! What's your name?"
Flitter smiled. "I'm Flitter."
"Nice to meet you Flitter! You know," He tapped her wings. "I never understood why some ponys get wings and horns and some don't. That's racist!"
Flitter turn back to Janet. "He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer is he?"
Janet laughed. "Oh no! He isn't even in the box. Trust me. But I love him anyway."
"Fantastic. The most relatable person to me in the afterlife is someone who's literally dating a robot!"
"Not a robot!"
"Whatever."
* * *
Flitter was enjoying playing Madden with Jason, but she needed a plan. There was no way she was going to be able to break her sister out of the Bad Place if she was stuck playing virtual football all day. She decided to start of a friendly conversation. "So why are you living in a wing restaurant."
Jason smiled. "There's no better place in all of Equestria."
Flitter shook her head. That couldn't be true. "Cool! Anyways, do you know anything about the Bad Place?"
"I mean, honestly, I don't really want to talk about it. That place was like, mad scary and I don't like remembering it."
"You've been to The Bad Place before?" Flitter was practically yelling in excitement.
Jason nodded. "Yeah. I was sent to the Bad Place until Michael saved the day and got me and my friends out. He's a pretty chill dude! Even though I blew up his friends."
"You what?"
"Glenn and Vicky. They were bad demons and so I blew them up. I wanted to blow up Shawn too but Michael wouldn't let me."
Flitter huffed. She was never going anywhere with this loser. "Okay. Do you know anypony who can help me learn about the Bad Place."
Jason nodded. "Here! Let me write down the address!"
He jumped up and went over to a notepad on the tv stand. He scribbled a few words and then handed the notepad to Flitter. "Go there. She'll tell you!"
Flitter nodded "Okay! Thank you Jason!" Flitter walked out of the hosue and sighed when she saw what was written on the paper.
Eleanor Shelstrop
Cute house that looks like a face.
What an address, Flitter thought. Now she just had to track down a single house in this ginormous neighborhood.
Don't worry Cloudchaser. I'm coming.
