Horse Divorce

by BaeroRemedy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Drama, Princess Cadance, Shining Armor
Length: 2226

It's just a normal dinner at the castle with in-laws. What could go wrong? Well, quite a lot really.

It's just a normal dinner at the castle with in-laws. What could go wrong?

Well, quite a lot really.

This was an entry for a duo contest in Quills and Sofas I wrote with Holtinater like a year or two ago and just never got around to publishing it. So here you go!

Published 2023-11-11 04:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-11-11 04:00:01 UTC

Horse Divorce

Cadance trotted into the dining hall, hovering a freshly baked cake above her.

“Oh, Cadance, you didn’t have to bake a cake just for us!” Celestia said from the end seat.

“Yeah Cady, you really shouldn’t have,” Shining Armor muttered under his breath, just loud enough for anyone paying any amount of attention to him to hear.

Cadance’s smile faltered for half a heartbeat as she levitated the cake onto the center of the table. “It was nothing. I love to bake, and I love my Aunties!” She turned to Twilight, who was sitting immediately to Cadance’s left. “And of course I love my favorite little filly, too! It was worth the time and effort, trust me.”

“Sure, your time,” Shining remarked again.

Cadance shot him a look, quietly chastising through her teeth, “Shiny, not now. We have guests.”

Shining returned the look, but sat up straighter and put a smile on his face. “Of course, dear. We do have an image to uphold.”

Cadance turned back to the two sisters, who were looking on in confusion.

Cadance blushed, looking for an excuse. “Just some… personal matters. Nothing to worry about. Especially when we’ve got such a wonderful feast prepared for us!”

Cadance could tell that they weren’t quite convinced, but gladly took the excuse. Everypony started to grab a few spoonfuls from bowls filled with the salads and soups spread throughout the table.

Before Shining was able to take a single bite, fork full of leafy greens halfway to his mouth, Luna asked “Shining Armor, how goes the Crystal Guard? It has been an age since I have seen them in action myself.”

He sighed, putting the fork down. “They’ve improved drastically since we got here. Many had cast their weapons aside, afraid their nightmares from Sombra would return and make them do harm. But gradually, with the help of therapy, many have been reinstated to protect the Crystal Empire.”

“Yes,” Cadance remarked. “Therapy surely has changed the lives of a vast number of our citizens, and will surely help many more.” She cast a glance Shining’s way, which Shining returned with equal hostility.

“Is something going on?” Twilight asked, looking between her brother and Cadance.

They both looked to Twilight, then back to themselves.

“No, of course not!” Cadance said.

“Never been better,” Shining agreed.

Suddenly the doors around them opened, and in walked a dozen waiters carrying the main courses. Delicacies from all over Equestria and beyond lined the table now, with everything from hamburgers to sushi and everything in between, lighting up the table in an array of colors and smells and tastes sure to lighten any mood.

Most moods, anyway.

Cadance aggressively cut into a fish fillet, dumping half of it on her plate. Shining ignored the food entirely, instead choosing to finally start his salad, stabbing at the vegetables as if he were killing some imaginary foe.

Twilight looked between them again. “I don’t want to be rude, but I feel like you’re not being entirely honest with me.” Twilight looked to the sisters across the table for confirmation. Luna only shrugged, and Celestia was busy cutting herself a sizable portion of the cake.

For a moment, Cadance’s eyes burned with fury, aimed directly at Twilight. Then, before Twilight turned back to her, she cooled herself off, taking a deep breath. “You know what Twilight? You’re right.”

Shining loudly dropped his fork back on his plate, leaning forward to hear what his wife had to say, knowing what it would be about.

Cadance continued. “There’s been a slight… hiccough in our relationship. We were hoping to get through this dinner without it being brought up, because it really is no big deal, but I guess the cat’s out of the bag now.”

Twilight immediately became sympathetic. “Well, if there’s anything that either of you n—”

“Twily, we’re fine,” Shining interrupted. “We can handle it.”

“Shiny!” Cadance chastised. “Don’t interrupt your sister. That’s… rude!”

Shining laughed. “Oh, that’s rude? But your subtle allusions to me needing therapy aren’t?”

“I never said you needed therapy,” she defended. “I just feel like you could be spending a little bit more time with your family.”

“Should we be here for this?” Twilight asked, receiving no response.

“I visit the Royal Crystaller everyday! Meanwhile you’re always too busy doing “Official Business” to even meet me for lunch.”

Cadance sighed. “You know how important it is that the Crystal Empire gets started on the right hoof, Shiny.”

Shining leaned back in his seat, crossing his hooves. “Oh yeah. And when will that excuse run out? Before or after I die?”

“Shiny!” Cadance yelled.

The other alicorns all froze up, the seriousness of this argument immediately apparent.

“What?” he asked. “I feel like that’s a reasonable question. You won’t have time for us tomorrow. Or the next day. And if the last few years are any indication—”

“Well, it’s not like you’re any better!” Cadance pointed an accusatory hoof Shining’s way, standing up out of her chair. “You think it’s easy running an entire country by yourself? We’re supposed to be a team, Shiny!”

Another door opened, and from it walked Sunburst, levitating a tray of cookies held by Flurry Heart, both completely oblivious to the chaos. “Hey, everypony! Flurry woke up early and decided that she would absolutely not go to sleep unless she had personally delivered these cookies to her parents.”

Flurry was levitated over to stand on the nearest open spot on the table where she set the tray. He looked between everypony.

“Is everything alright?”

“Oh and don’t even get me started on him.” Cadance narrowed her eyes right at Sunburst, a raging inferno building up in them and threatening to burn him to a crisp. There was a beat of silence, one heavy enough that not even the strength of all 5 alicorns could keep their heads raised through.

“Y’know what-” Sunburst started, sweat pouring down his face and making his mane stick to his head. “-I-I think Flurry is ready to go back down for her nap now. I’ll just…” His horn lit up with a pale yellow aura that encompassed the foal nearby, but it was broken by a much stronger baby blue magic grasp.

“Oh no you don’t!” Cadance stood up and slammed her hoof on the table, cracking the sturdy wood beneath and making everypony jump. “You’ve already taken my husband, you’re not taking Flurry too.”

A collective gasp filled the room from their gathered family. The eyes of the three alicorns across the way withered Shining Armor until he felt like a colt at a parent-teacher conference again. He couldn’t even meet the eyes of any of them, especially Twilight.

“Sh-Shining...what is she talking about?” his sister asked meekly. He could see the wings on her back twitching and her eyes darting between the three ponies from the Crystal Empire. “This is all a joke, right? Right?”

“Oh yes Shiny-” Cadance spit out the pet name like it was poison, her composure now collapsed and bile taking its place. “-this is all a joke, right? Just a mean-spirited prank?”

Every eye was on him again and they were all piling their judgements atop the stallion. The most powerful ponies in Equestria were ready to call him a villain, they were ready to bury him where he sat.

Shining Armor closed his eyes and tried to center himself with a deep breath. He wanted this all to go over so much smoother-hell he didn’t want it to be this public yet. Yet here they were, and he was letting it all happen.

Not anymore, he was done being silent.

“I’ve given you everything.” Shining’s voice started in a whisper and gradually picked up in volume. “I’ve been by your side since I was a teenager, given you every ounce of affection and adoration I could...I gave you my life. Every day of it. For over a decade.” He was trying not to be bitter but he let some of it slip into his tone, something he just couldn’t help anymore.

“Yes, and I’ve done the same!” Cadance rebutted. “That’s what a relationship is, Shining! That’s what marriage is!”

“When?” It was a simple question, one that knocked Shining’s wife right back into her seat and allowed him to stand up. “When have you ever given anything up for me? When have you stopped doing something for my benefit? I moved to a different country. I left my family and my job that I spent my whole life working towards behind. I gave up so much just to be close to you!”

“I carried your foal!” Cadance roared back as she stood once more, their faces mere inches apart. “I was kept in a dungeon during our wedding and replaced!”

“You don’t think I know that?” Shining had to let out a little scoff at the notion. “Every morning I wake up beside you and I have to tell myself ‘she’s not Chrysalis.’ Every morning I have to remind myself that you’re not that monster! Every time I kiss you I have to tell myself that you’re not going to drain me of my love! I still have nightmares about that but do you care? No!”

“And yet you still had a foal with me.”

“You mean the one that Celestia pushed us to have?”

“Well… encouraged. I wouldn’t say pushed,” Celestia attempted to defend herself, but quickly decided to not go any further.

“In fact, she was the one who pushed my parents to hire you as Twilight’s foalsitter, and she was the one who put you in my class. You, an alicorn princess, in a public school.” He looked around to the other ponies in the room and raised his hooves in frustration. “I feel like my whole life has been directed! I’m just an actor being told what to do! I haven't been allowed to find out who I am because somepony else has always wanted me to be something else! So yeah! I experimented! Sue me! We were all having some wine together one night and Sunburst and I kissed! Yeah, and maybe I’ve been spending time with him to understand what it’s like to...to know what you are.”

Another silence filled the air as Shining Armor fell to the floor. A hoof was placed on his shoulder and he turned to see Sunburst smiling at him gently, nervous sweat still covering his face. It was reassuring and gave him just enough strength to carry on through this conversation.

Both he and Cadance were crying now, hot tears streaming down their cheeks. A heavy weight settled on his shoulders, one that had always been there but he never knew just how much of a burden it was until that night.

“For the first time in my life...I felt like I didn’t know who I was.” It was that uncertainty that was the unidentified weight on his back for so long. It was now something he could look back on and see so much in a truly new light. “But the more I thought about it, the more it all started to make sense. Why I never told Twilight we were dating, why it took me years to propose, why it took Celestia’s prodding to have a foal…”

“Don’t say it, Shining,” Cadance pleaded quietly. “Please, don’t say it. We can still make this work. I can change. I love you, I’ve always loved you.”

“I thought I loved you too.” Shining smiled the best he could. “I really thought I did.”

“We apologize, but can We get a little clarity?” Princess Luna chimed in, her head cocked to the side. “We seem to be missing something here…” Celestia leaned over and whispered in her sister’s ear, which made Luna’s eyes widen to the size of dinner plates. “Oh. Well...good luck to you both on that…” Without another word, Luna disappeared in a flash of light.

If only Shining could do the same.

“We’ve spent so much time together. So much of our lives.” Cadance brushed a hoof against his cheek, her lip quivering as she choked back more tears. “Is it really over?”

“I..I don’t think I can live a lie anymore, Cadance. I can’t not be me like I have been for so long.”

“Was it worth it? Us, I mean? The good times?”

“I don’t know. Can pretending to be something you’re not ever be worth it?”

“What about the Empire? What will they do? What will they think?” Cadance questioned with a sigh.

“Who cares about the Empire, Cadance?!” Twilight erupted as her horn flashed and she disappeared for a moment, only to reappear between the two. “What about Flurry Heart? She’s just a foal, what is she going to think?”

Cadance blanched at the mention of their foal again as the realization dawned upon her that some of what Shining had said earlier had been right. She opened her mouth to defend herself, but even her words failed her.

“Staying together for a foal never works. It will just make us resent her.” Shining Armor laid out the cold harsh truth.

“So...is it over?”

“Yeah, I think it is. I’m sorry, Cadance.”

“Me too, Shiny. I’m sorry we wasted each other’s time.”

Author's Note

Horse Divorce