Selective Service, Volume I

“I’m going - Jeez!” Vise Grip groused, leering over her shoulder as she stepped into the opening elevator.

Turning in the cramped confines of the lift, she glowered up at the titanic unicorn who trotted in behind her. Standing a full head taller than herself, with a grey mane, crimson bodysuit, and a pair of chilling blue eyes, the colossus eyed her before igniting his horn and pressing a button on the wall. Finding herself around somepony as intimidating as the giant would have been unsettling in and of itself, but he wasn’t just some big pony - no, he was Blister Wing, the notorious right hoof of one of the most dastardly villains in all of Equestria.

As she shuffled over to give herself a bit of room, he quirked a brow. “Come now, I don’t bite - that is unless you’re into that sort of thing.”

Scrunching her nose and looking away, she petulantly stomped a hoof. “Pervert…”

If somepony that morning had told her that she’d find herself in the nefarious clutches of a criminal organization, she would have laughed in their face for a number of reasons. First and foremost, she was a hard working, upstanding citizen who didn’t want anything to do with the hijinks of caped heroes and ne’er-do-wells - secondly and even more prudently, though she kept her nose out of it, her brother, Torque Wrench, was a well known and well respected champion of justice.

The elevator shuttered and she began to descend, prompting her to reflexively lift her gaze from the floor. She had to admit, the bad guys definitely had an eye for keeping things tidy. The polished metal of the walls, ceiling, and the corridors she’d been led through had been spotless - so spotless that she could see her reflection quite clearly in the closed set of sliding doors in front of her. Peering at herself and brushing a lock of violet mane away from her face, she gave a deep, disheartened sigh while she thought back to how she’d gotten into this mess.

Her day had started like any other: she’d gotten up, made a bit of breakfast, told herself she wouldn’t step on the scale in her bathroom, did so anyways, then left her apartment grumbling about her weight. While she wasn’t the biggest fan of living in Maretropolis, especially since there’d been a growing number of powerful evildoers and crime fighters appearing seemingly from nowhere, it had a few perks. Considering she worked at her brother’s shop, his civilian cover for when he wasn’t gallivanting around in a catsuit, she thought she had it pretty easy - well, she had thought she’d had it pretty easy.

Before she could even get to her job that morning, having just picked up a danish and a coffee from a delightful little cafe she regularly frequented, she was mortified to find herself facing Blister Wing and a duo of Aco-Lights, the nameless goons employed by Burner Visor. Though she’d initially thought that they were paying her a visit because of her brother, possibly in an attempt to threaten him, she was somewhat relieved when the mountain of an evil unicorn had freely and somewhat perplexingly told her that she was going to work for them; she’d politely refused their offer, of course, but the sinister stallion had been quite insistent - in that she’d been thrown into a carriage and whisked away to the scoundrel’s base.

As the lift ground to a halt, shifting around her, her stomach growled and snapped her back to the present. “Hey,” she griped, craning her neck up at Blister, “so are you guys going to at least give me breakfast?”

The stallion grimaced and waved for her to proceed through the open door. “If you behave, I may be able to arrange something.”

She trotted out and into a yawning hallway, marveling at the sheer size of the facility - of course, she couldn’t have a true idea of how big the place was, but it seemed massive. She suspected that the structure was underground, because the elevator she’d just stepped off of had gone down and not up, but that raised a number of questions. The carriage she’d been kidnapped in had blackout windows, making it impossible for her to tell exactly where she’d been brought, yet she’d found herself in what appeared to be the lower floor of a parking garage.

“Ahem -” Blister loudly coughed, drawing her eye. “If you’re done being awestruck, follow me.”

Holding her ground as the stallion passed, she petulantly closed her eyes and turned up her nose. “Follow me ~ what?”

Blister froze, his eyes widening and jaw hanging open slightly. “You can’t be serious. I am not going to say ‘follow me please’.”

“Well since you asked nicely,” she chirped, trotting back up to his side.

He groaned beside her and shook his head, bringing a smile to her face. She may have been outnumbered dozens if not hundreds to one, had an utter lack of any special abilities, and was a bit out of shape for her age, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t be a pain in the flank to her captors. Walking along next to him, she turned her head from side to side and drank in the sights.

Had her brother not been a hero, she would have gone from mildly concerned to downright terrified - fortunately for her, that wasn’t the case. It would only be a matter of time until Torque found out she’d been shanghaied, and when that happened - whoa-boy, he was going to mop the floor with Burner Visor, Blister Wing, and anypony else who got in his way. As she followed her hulking host around a corner, the scent of something delectable wafted to her nose.

“Hey - um - do you guys have a cafeteria?” she quipped.

Without breaking his pace, he glanced over at her. “Of course we do. With nearly four dozen Aco-Lights to feed, not to mention the maintenance staff, we couldn’t operate without -”

“Can I get something for breakfast?” she interrupted, bringing him to a screeching halt.

He wheeled around to face her and affixed her with his piercing, icy gaze. “Oh I’m so sorry! Would you prefer something sweet or something savory?”

“Something sweet, please,” she beamed. “And if I could get a - wait, you’re just pulling my leg!” she protested, watching a sinister smirk split his features.

“It’s called sarcasm - besides, you don’t even work here yet,” Blister chuckled.

Genuinely disheartened, recalling the raspberry danish she’d dropped on the sidewalk not an hour earlier, she stifled a whimper and hung her head. “Fine…”

“Ugh -” he groaned, pinching the bridge of his snout with a forehoof. “If I get you a donut - one, single donut, will you stop complaining and just behave yourself?”

Her spirit instantly lifted and her mouth began to water. “Can it be cream filled? Please tell me you have cream filled ones!”

“Follow me,” he grunted, trotting past her in the direction they’d come from, “and don’t mention a word of this to Burner Visor ~ got it?”

Lifting and running a forehoof by her lips, she gave a firm nod. “My lips are sealed, Blister.”

“Blister Wing,” he frustratedly corrected.

“Blister Wing, got it,” she noted.

To her abject shock, the forbidding unicorn actually kept to his word, leading her to a cafeteria that would have made some restaurants look shabby in comparison! Aco-Lights sat around tables eating breakfast and sipping coffee, there were a number of kitchen staff working a serving line, and they even had one of those fancy pop machines that let you mix different flavors! She wasn’t a fan of villains and she likely never would be, but she could see why ponies didn’t mind knocking over banks or stealing jewels if they got to work in a place like this.

The good news was that she was able to get both a cream filled donut and a coffee, arguing that having a donut without coffee is even more heinous than robbing an art exhibit - the bad news was that she was firmly told that she’d have to eat it on the go. With the confection in one wing and a steaming cup of java in the other, she trotted along beside Blister while silently studying him. She’d heard all sorts of stories about the villain, including a few from her brother, but he was even bigger and more menacing than the tales made him out to be.

Looking forward when the lumbering titan slowed, seeing a pair of underlings salute by an immense, opening door, she swallowed hard. Blister Wing may have had an infamous reputation, but Burner Visor was apparently one of the nastiest ponies around. As her eyes settled on a ruby-maned, amber-clad figure standing on a raised dais at the center of the cavernous chamber before her, a cold shiver ran up her spine.

“Blister Wing, my most faithful and arguably most competent minion, welcome,” the pony boomed, motioning for his second in command to enter. “I presume your little venture was successful?”

“It was, sir,” Blister proudly announced, slamming a forehoof to his chest and giving a bow.

Burner’s mirth almost instantly faded as he swung his attention over to Vise. “And this is?”

“Vise Grip, sir,” Blister explained.

Tentatively lifting and waving a forehoof, taking care not to drop her donut or her coffee, Vise put on the bravest face she could muster. “Uh - hello.”

“Blister, is there a reason she brought food into my sanctum?” Burner coolly asked.

Blister inched back and dipped his head. “My apologies, sir. She - uh - I was concerned that the stress of being abducted and being brought here may impact her blood sugar. It would be difficult to put her to work if she wound up in the infirmary, sir.”

“Quite,” Burner murmured, sounding wholly unconvinced. Waving his Blister aside, he slowly trotted around her while looking her up and down. “Frankly, I don’t believe her blood sugar would be an issue, given her physique.”

Knitting her brow, she shifted to face him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you appear to have a rather healthy appetite for somepony who’s supposedly quite a skillful mechanist,” he countered.

Locking eyes with him, she sneered. He may have been a fraction of Blister Wing’s size, but Burner Visor was one of the most legendary villains on the continent - heck, even outside of the continent. Aside from successfully blackmailing not one but two of the Princesses, getting hundreds of thousands of bits not to release some unknown, scandalous information on the alicorns, he’d somehow managed to send all the bushwoolies in the world to some far flung, long forgotten island purely because they were ugly! He was, without a doubt, the worst of the worst, and now he had his sights set on her.

“Sir, I assure you, her reputation speaks for itself,” Blister hastily added.

“Darn tootin’,” she added, holding a hoof to her bosom.

Burner sighed and shook his head as he steadily trotted back to the podium. “I’ll not have some out of shape greasemonkey eating us out of house and home. Blister, would you kindly -”

“Right, because the mare with a few extra pounds can’t know what she’s doing with a spanner,” she bitterly laughed. “If you think you can find somepony who can replace the crystal matrix of an airship with nothing but a spanner, bubble gum wrappers, and a bobby pin - by all means, be my guest and send me home! It’s not like I want to work on your stupid -”

“Hah - Ha ha - Aaaahahaha!” Burner maniacally laughed, his voice echoing and sounding even more ominous. “You’re either extremely bold or exquisitely foolish - whatever the case may be, though you’re a bit of a dairy cow compared to our last engineer, I hope you’re prepared to put your bits where your mouth is. Blister!”

Blister jumped and snapped a salute. “Sir?”

“Show our pudgy little guest to her quarters and put her to work,” Burner mused, peeking back at her and sending power into his horn, “but be sure that the cafeteria staff put her on a diet.”

“H…hey!” she bleated as her partially finished donut and coffee were magically plucked from her grasp. “I wasn’t finished with those!”

Moments from jumping into the air to retrieve her purloined breakfast, she stopped dead when she noticed Blister frowning and slowly shaking his head at her. The huge unicorn may have literally kidnapped her not an hour prior, but there was something about his reaction that set her nerves on edge - almost like he was trying to warn her. Grumbling and cursing under her breath, biting back the urge to say something that could and in all likelihood would make her situation worse, she took a deep breath to calm her frazzled nerves.

“Come,” Blister solemnly intoned, moving by her and to the exit.

She did he asked silently and without question. It was only then, trotting out of what she had to assume was Burner’s lair, that the gravitas of her position began to settle upon her. She didn’t know where she was, she was in the heart of what had to be a subterranean fortress, and there was no way for her to know when or how easily she’d be rescued. With her mood darkening and eyes on the floor, her melancholy deepend as the alluring aroma of the cafeteria grew stronger.

“It would be wise not to make a fuss around him,” Blister muttered.

“I’ll bear that in mind,” she seethed, not lifting her head. “So you’re actually going to have me repair stuff for you?”

Making a left hand turn, the behemoth snorted. “What else would we do with you? No offense, but you’re a nopony. We may be able to squeeze a few bits from your family, sure, but the work you could do - will do is far more valuable. Now do you want another donut or not?”

“Another…” she trailed off, peeking up and realizing he’d led her back to the dining hall. “Yes, that would be nice.”

The slight smile on his face clashed violently with his baleful aesthetic, yet it appeared genuine. “And what do we say?”

“Thanks,” she whispered, unable to keep the corners of her lips from turning up.

She had no doubt that he was a bad apple, rotten to the core, although he may - may not have been as awful as his employer. Somewhere deep down inside him, probably buried under all the questionable things he’d done in the past, was some sliver of decently. His frankly kind gesture of replacing her breakfast for a second time would have been enough to make her feel a bit better, but it was what he’d said that that gave her real hope.

Initially, just after she’d been abducted, she’d feared that she would be held hostage to lure out Hope Hurricane, her brother’s heroic persona, but neither Burner nor Blister seemed to know that she was related to him. As unfathomable as it may have been, going against the odds by an astronomical margin, it appeared as though she was merely a victim of circumstance - something she had every intention of keeping that way. When she finally got free, either escaping on her own or being rescued, she’d be sure to buy a lottery ticket to counterbalance her abysmal luck.

“You’re welcome,” he breathed almost imperceptibly, levitating the donut and java over to her.

With beverage and snack held in her wings, she trailed him out and in a new direction. One particularly unfortunate thing about her predicament was that, even if she was somehow able to elude her captors, she’d have no idea where to go! The base, so far as she could tell, was huge and almost definitely consisted of different levels, effectively leaving her trapped in a maze.

Blister moved at a slow, methodical pace, Blister her down a number of hallways until he came to a halt before a nondescript metal door. “And here you are. There are uniforms in the dresser, toiletries in the bathroom, and the bed is freshly made. I’d advise you to get changed as soon as you’re finished eating.”

Vise opened the door and peeked inside, more confused and curious than ever. She would have thought that menials had group housing, living in racks of bunks like cannon fodder, but she’d been wrong - pleasantly wrong. The room - her room, though sparsely furnished and rather spartan, had a bed, dresser, desk, nightstand, and what looked to be a bathroom in the back.

“Mmmph - Cough,” she choked, beating her breast to get the mouthful of donut down. “So I get this place all to myself?”

“Vise,” Blister sighed, “we’re villains - not monsters. I’ll have one of the techs meet you here shortly.”

He gave her no time to reply, briskly trotting past her with the hope that she’d obey his command. All things considered, she was stunned by just how well she’d been treated - well, aside from the whole kidnapping thing. Wandering into her quarters and giving herself a look around, she drifted to the dresser and pulled one drawer open.

She instantly groaned as she was met with a sea of drab, completely boring uniforms. It only made sense that she’d be expected to wear the same thing as everypony else, but more than just her sense of fashion had been rubbed the wrong way. Cramming the final bite of her donut in her snout, she set her coffee down and reached behind herself with a wing.

While she would have preferred to keep her overalls and trusty tool belt, Blister had been quite clear about her avoiding Visor’s ire - as such, once she locked her door, she began to undress. Slipping out of her attire wasn’t all that hard, but that was the easy part - the hard part, the thing she knew was going to give her an issue, was something she simply couldn’t take off. Kicking the garment to the side, she started unwinding the binding wound around her abdomen.

She’d always been on the curvaceous side, having been plump ever since she was a filly, but it wasn’t until she hit puberty that her body threw a monkey wrench at her - two in fact. As soon as they were freed from their restrictive confines, her weighty breasts hung heavily in the cool air. While it was easy to trot around with her bosoms bound in a pair of overalls, the form-fitting suit she had to somehow wriggle into wouldn’t be as forgiving.

“Stupid - Nnnph - bucking…” she hissed under her breath, arduously drawing the jumpsuit up her legs.

Her fears were realized before she could even get the article on, discovering that there wasn’t nearly enough space to accommodate her bust. The development put her in a pickle and gave her one of two options - neither of which being ideal: she could either stuff herself into the uniform and trot about looking positively ridiculous or she could put her regular work clothes on and attempt to plead her case. As she stepped out of the garment, thinking of how best to deal with her conundrum, she was hit with a bolt from the blue.

Blister had told her to wear the uniform, but he hadn’t mentioned anything about modifying the uniform. Trotting over to her discarded overalls, she retrieved her trusty multitool and unfolded a miniature pair of scissors. If she was expected to wear a bodysuit - fine, she’d wear the bodysuit, but she was going to make the stupid thing comfortable.

She wouldn’t have thought that doing a bit of simple tailoring wouldn’t be all that difficult, given how she routinely fiddled with clockwork mechanisms that required magnifying glasses and tweezers, yet altering the jumpsuit was far more aggravating than she initially thought it would be. Though it took nearly half an hour and two of the uniforms, cannibalizing one after an initial failed attempt, she was finally met with some modicum of success - unfortunately, she quickly discovered another problem. As soon as trotted into her bathroom and looked at her reflection, having donned her outfit, she rolled her head back and groaned.

“Not my problem,” she huffed. “They’re going to have to deal with it.”

Only in the purest technical sense was she adorned in her issued uniform. The one-piece garment had been transformed into something one would see at a beach instead of a workplace. Cloth covered her shoulders, forelegs, a portion of her back, and her thighs, although there were large portions of her bare hide left open. On one hoof, she’d done as she’d been asked - on the other, she looked like a buxom parody of an Aco-Light.

Musing on if she had enough time to alter a third outfit, a series of knocks at her door caught her ear. “Just a second!”

Briskly trotting out of the restroom and to the exit of her chamber, she folded her wings on her back and braced herself to be berated. Darned if she knew how Blister would react to seeing her innovative solution to her costume conundrum, but she wasn’t going to worry about it. Should he want her to put on a pristine uniform, he’d have to find one that actually fit her properly! She slowed as she reached the door, slid it open, and expectantly looked up at nothing.

“Down here…” a delicate voice squeaked.

Lowering her gaze, Vise was startled to find herself looking at either a very small mare or a filly. She’d fully anticipated finding herself facing the absolute behemoth of a unicorn who’d been at her side for the last hour or two, so suddenly encountering a mare, and a tiny one at that, left her silent. Staring down at the little earth pony, she cleared her throat when her visitor leaned over and stared at her bosoms.

Shifting and trotting away, the runtish sullenly shook her head. “Burner’s not going to be happy about that…”

“The outfit?” Vise asked, leaning out of the doorway. “Wait - who are you anyways?”

“Trickery,” the mare called back. “You can trot and walk, so get a move on! You are that mechanic Blister brought in earlier ~ right?”

Cantering out and after her pint-sized visitor, heedless of her swaying bosoms, Vise caught up with the pint-sized pony. “Yeah, unless he’s abducting multiple repairponies.”

Trickery stopped at a service lift, hit the call button, and turned to face her. “Nope, you’re the only one. I hope you know a thing or two about hydraulics.”

“What kind of hydraulics?” she pressed, trotting into the opening elevator after the mare. “I know a thing or two about gear and piston pumps, but I’ve only ever fiddled with one vane pump before.”

Smiling up at her, the diminutive mare nodded over to a panel on the wall. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Hit three for me, please.”

Vise reached over and tapped the third of a half-dozen buttons, causing the doors to close and the lift to begin moving. “Just out of curiosity, how old are you?”

“Old enough to be giving you orders,” Tricky tittered.

Pursing her lips, Vise kept her mouth shut. It was one thing to get sassed by a mare with dwarfism, but it would be quite another if she was dealing with a conscripted filly with a smart mouth. As much as she wanted to ask more questions, she decided to stay quiet and bide her time. It wasn’t long before the lift gradually stopped, opened its doors, and revealed a sprawling bay filled with miniature airships and an armored land train.

“Alrighty,” the petite pony began, trotting out and pointing to the far wall of the yawning chamber. “Tools are over there, spare parts are over in that corner,” she continued, sweeping her hoof over at a stack of crates, “and that’s about that. If you can get one of these puppies up and running before nightfall, that would be fan-flipping-tastic!”

With eyes widening in shock, Vise nearly stumbled over her own hooves. “Hold on, you didn’t even tell me what’s wrong with them!”

“How am I supposed to know what’s wrong with them? Do I look like a mechanic to you?” Tricky laughed, stepping back and into the lift.

It was at that moment that Vise realized that Tricky wasn't wearing an Aco-Light’s uniform. The outfit the mare had on was similar to the underlings’ attire, being rather drab and without flare, but there were subtle differences. Looking through the elevator’s steadily closing doors, seeing a smile creep across the mare’s snout, she cocked her head to the side.

“If you’re not one of Burner’s minions,” she breathed, “you must be a -”

“Villain,” Tricky giggled, winking over at her. “I’ll be back in an hour to check on you.”

As the lift’s doors slammed shut, Vise mutely digested the brief exchange. She’d heard of young heroes and villains before, but they were rarely allowed to operate independently. Making a mental note to ask Blister about the possible pygmy pony, she glanced over at one of the airships. She should have - would have been more uneasy about everything that had happened to her, including the fact that she was traipsing about in what was essentially a bikini, yet her fascination for all things mechanical superseded her anxiety.

Cantering over to the closest vehicle, the land train, she stepped under the gargantuan construct without having to dip her head. She’d only ever read about such monstrous machines in books before, so the prospect of getting her hooves on one, particularly a militarized one, set her mouth to water. She came to a stop under the main engine, inspected the undercarriage, and almost instantly began to notice problems.

Other than an oil leak and what she’d bet was a dry-rotted fuel line, the poor behemoth was in dire need of some tender loving care - problem was, working on something so enormous wasn’t a one pony job. Rushing out from under the rolling goliath, scanning the bay, she spotted a pair of goons lingering by the supplies. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that the Aco-Lights wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between an impact driver and a breaker bar, but she didn’t need smarts - she just needed an extra pair or two of hooves.

“Hey, you - yeah, you two!” she shouted, galloping over to the duo. “Come with me.”

The duo started as she approached, tensing slightly, although their focus immediately shot away from her face and down to her udders. If she had a bit for every time somepony ogled her goods, she’d be living in a penthouse suite without a care in the world - sadly, given that her rack had never earned her a single coin, she’d resorted to binding her bosoms to avoid undue and unwanted attention. Stopping and tapping her hoof on the floor, she loudly coughed to break them from their trance.

She hadn’t the slightest clue who the two were, since Burner had been to shortsighted to give any of his henchponies name badges, but she could spot a few interesting details about the duo. One of the two was a bat-pony, a pair of fangs peeking from under his upper lip, while the other was obviously an unreformed changeling, and they were both clearly stallions. As up to and past them, she waved for them to follow.

“Who do you think you are to give us orders?” the bat-pony scoffed, trying and failing not to slip glances at her tits.

“Vise,” she matter-of-factly replied, shifting and making a beeline toward the tools. “I’m going to need your help - both of your help.”

Reluctantly following, the changeling spoke up. “But Tricky said we’re just supposed to make sure you don’t escape.”

“Well Blister Wing and Burner Visor both told me that I need to get these things fixed!” she sternly retaliated, peeking over her shoulder at the pair. “If you want to explain to either of them why I wasn’t able to get my work done, please be my guest…”

She could practically see the two minions shiver in fear hearing the names of their superiors, bringing a smile to her face. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d wrangled somepony into helping her with some repair work and it almost certainly wouldn’t be the last - nevertheless, unless the two Aco-Lights were complete dullards, they’d serve their purpose while also keeping an eye on her. Concentrating on the task at hand, she and her assistants gathered up a tool chest, rudimentary supplies, and a scissor lift before heading back to the land train.

With her helpers in tow, standing on the lift with one of her helpers behind her, she swung a foreleg back. “Give me the half-inch wrench.”

A second passed, then a few more, before she finally looked back to see what the holdup was. The changeling, standing on the platform with her, was transfixed by her backside, while the thestral, peered up and at the mountainous mammaries from the floor beneath her. She was used to being the center of attention, but this wasn’t the time for that - this was time to get her hooves dirty.

“Half-inch,” she repeated with an edge in her voice. “And you,” she blurted, leveling a forehoof down at the second stallion, “bring that oil-catch a little to your left. I’m not about to clean up a mess that you were responsible for.”

Both Aco-Lights leapt into action, following her command as if she were a villain of renown. As a wrench was placed in her outstretched hoof, she nodded and looked up at the motor. The first order of business, regardless of what other problems she’d encounter, would be changing the fluids in the behemoth.

She set her jaw, seated the tool on the oil plug, and reared onto her hind legs. Though she was a pegasus, arguably one of the weaker varieties of ponies, a lifetime of hard labor had given her the strength to loosen any nut - at least she felt pretty confident it had. Clamping her eyes shut and pulling on the wrench with her forehooves and wings, she grunted.

“Come on,” she grunted, feeling a bead of sweat roll down her temple, “you stupid - Gah!”

Flying back when the bolt broke free, she slammed against the goon behind her. The guard railing kept them from taking a pretty bad tumble, falling nearly a dozen feet to the floor beneath them, but that wasn’t her biggest concern. In her hurry to get the simple task done, she didn’t realize that the bolt wasn’t a bolt at all - it was just a cap. A deluge of thick, cool, jet-black oil washed over her and the stallion beneath her, utterly drenching her from her neck down to her fetlocks.

Peering down at herself, she grimaced. “Great…”

What should have been a simple start to things had taken an inglorious turn, but things only got worse from there. As she went to stand, awkwardly squirming atop the minion, she felt something warm and hard pressing against her lower back - something that definitely wasn’t the sort of tool she had any desire to use. She threw herself forward in a flash, slipped a second time, and crashed onto her chest with her rear raised.

Carefully getting up and wiping oil from her cheek, she grumbled to herself - that was before she felt the cool grace of open air against her teat. In the blink of an eye, realizing her makeshift uniform had just had a serious malfunction, she lifted a hind leg and threw her wings back to cover her abdomen - a move that was met with disastrous results. The quick movement set her off balance yet again, leading to her toppling to her side while both her udders wobbled from their flexible confines.

“Darn it!” she groused.

The drone, after gawking for a moment, unsteadily got his hooves under himself, snatched up a rag from the toolbox, and took a step toward her. It was as plain as day that he was more than a little excited by her clumsiness, his face having gone a brilliant crimson and with a sizable tent at his groin, but at least he was trying to help. He took a cautious step, then a second, until his luck gave out.

“Bucking - Mmmph?!?” The drone’s protest was cut woefully short as he fell forward and landed face-first into her cleavage.

She froze and stared down at him, astounded that nearly his entire head had disappeared into the valley of her bosoms. As regrettable as the scandalous turn of events was, she’d grown used to such things over the years. Maybe it was because she had a klutzy steak, or perhaps there was some cosmic being who used her at the but of a joke - regardless of the exact cause, she had a nasty habit of finding herself in awkward positions.

“Ok,” she protested, “you can get up now…”

Lifting his head just enough to peek up at her, bearing a silly little grin on his face, he met her eye. “Huh?”

“You can get up now,” she urged, throwing her weight to one side.

Her attempt to shrug him off worked a little too well. While she was able to dislodge him from her bust, the surface of the lift proved to be far too slick for her to stand. Her hind legs went splayed, she spun onto her belly, and unceremoniously seated herself on the stallion’s face. It was only by the grace of Celestia that his little horn didn’t do any damage, yet hearing and feeling his muffled groan against her nethers did little to improve her mood.

As she finally got her footing, lifting her ass off him, he slid forward and flipped onto his back. She’d initially thought that he was trying to get up, albeit in an awkward, unconventional sort of way, yet she had her doubts when he reached up and grabbed her thighs. The suddenness of his move, paired with her unsteady state, sent her careening down to straddle him.

“Oh my gosh! Are you ok?” she cried.

Bucking his hips against her, with a blissful expression on his face, he gnawed his bottom lip. “Mmmhmm…”

Squirming against him, she rolled her hips forward and back. “Just hold still…”

“O…ok…” he wheezed, thrusting up in an attempt to dislodge her.

She wasn’t sure why he wasn’t using his magic, considering he was just as powerful as an alicorn, but she couldn’t be mad at him - for goodness’ sake, she’d be out of sorts too if she had a pony covered in oil gyrating on her! Fruitlessly flapping her sodden wings, only making more of a mess of herself and the drone, she moaned in frustration. If she didn’t get off him quick, he might really get hurt!

Had she been sat upon by somepony, regardless of whom they were, she would have scrambled to get herself free, but the drone clearly didn’t share that sympathy. Blinded by her rear, he weakly fidgeted in a pitiful attempt to get out from under her. She leaned over and grabbed the guard rail, trying to make it easier for him, and glanced down to find the bat-pony sullenly peering up at her.

“Is something wrong - I mean, aside from this mess?” she grouched.

The thestral kicked at the floor muttered something to himself, giving her no real answer. It may have been her imagination, but she could swear he was complaining about how rotten his luck was. Growing more frustrated by the second, she hooked a foreleg over the railing, hauled herself up, and successfully managed to get her hooves under herself.

“Here, let me…” She fell silent as she offered a hoof to the changeling and noticed his sorry state.

She was far from a doctor, but even she could tell something was seriously wrong with the drone. For starters, the little guy was shaking like a leaf and breathing heavily - secondly and more alarmingly, he quietly whimpered and gazed into the distance. Quickly but carefully lowering the lift, she waved the bat-pony over.

“Please don’t tell me you’re hurt!” she yelled, squatting down and lifting the drone’s head.

The little shapeshifting stallion smiled dreamily up at her as his eyes gradually focused on her face. “I’m…I’m gonna need to change my uniform.”

“I’ll take him to his quarters,” the thestral growled, grabbing the changeling’s leg and dragging him from the lift.

Vise lifted her hoof to apologize to the both of them for the inconvenience, but stopped herself when the bat-pony’s words sank in. “Don’t you mean the infirmary?”

Venomously glaring back at her, the thestral snorted. “He’s fine…”

“I’m fine,” the drone tittered, grinning from ear to ear while waving at her. “I’ll be back real - Ow!”

The bat-pony must have been awfully distracted by something, because he abruptly dropped his shapeshifting coworker to the floor. “Just do what you can to start cleaning this up…”

“Fine,” she lamented. “Actually, no, it’s not fine! Can I at least shower off first?”

The drone hopped up and whipped around to face her, making the most miraculous recovery she’d ever seen, and nodded feverishly. “There’s a shower for these in the corner, but -”

“But she’s going to need us to be here to use it,” the thestral vehemently interjected. “We can’t have you trying to smuggle tools or anything out without us knowing ~ can we?”

She shrugged, finding no fault with their logic. “Just don’t take too long. I’m so slippery!” she whined, running her wings down her chest, over her sides, and to her hips.

With a strand of drool creeping down and dangling from his chin, the shapeshifter shook his head. “Right! We’ll be right back, super fast, I promise!”

Both the underlings rushed away, bolting for the door like the place was on fire, while she stooped down and picked up a fresh rag. Great - just bucking great. She hadn’t been captured twelve hours ago, and she’d already made a scene, hurt some poor changeling, and spilled oil in what was apparently going to be her work area. As she wiped herself down as best she could, she couldn’t help but say a little prayer for two things: that Torque would come to her rescue soon and that she wasn’t going to get in trouble for her little faux pas…