Think, Elements, Think!

by Pixieon

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Main 6, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Discord
Length: 2907

An alternate scenario in the episode "Princess Twilight Sparkle: Part 2" where Twilight never walked away from her friends but instead questions their intelligence after they collectively make the dumbest suggestion she has ever heard in her life.

There is nothing the magic of friendship can't solve. Except the stupidity of her friends. Guess it's up to the recently crowned princess to put them in their place so they can save Equestria from the current threat at large.

Inspired by a scene in the season 4 episode: "Princess Twilight Sparkle: Part 2"

[WARNING:] Mild cartoon violence and extreme verbal roasting. (no profanity) Bring your marshmallows! It's about to get toasty in here!

Published 2024-03-12 20:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2024-03-12 20:50:01 UTC

Twilight Verbally and Brutally Roasts her Friends.

Author's Note

This is a short one-shot fanfic idea I had directly based on a certain scene in the season 4 episode: "Princess Twilight Sparkle: Part 2"

Within the scene in question, I personally felt like the characters were acting really out of character just to drive home a needless conflict in the episode which is solved two seconds later anyway making it feel pointless. So instead, I decided to write a fun "what if" scenario where I had the scene play out the same at the start, but then it quickly leads more into what I think would've more likely happened if the characters stayed in character.

This story does still feature a lot of my writing traits and creative liberties so expect it to just be bonkers and over the top once the ball gets rolling.

Twilight Verbally and Brutally Roasts her Friends.

"And, well, who knows what else is gonna come after us." Applejack said as her and the other elements of harmony walked through the Ever-free Forest together; hoping to find the tree of harmony to set things right in Ponyville and stop the dark roots from spreading any further. Applejack stopped herself in place as she finished the last sentence, an internal revelation forming in her head as she spoke her next words; "You know, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea for Twilight to go back to Ponyville, and let us look for the tree of harmony without her." Twilight turned around, clearly appalled by Applejack's statement; "What?! Why?!"

"For starters, you just about got eaten by a crocadilly." Applejack said while pointing a hoof a Twilight; "We all did! He wasn't after just me!" Twilight retorted as she turned her head away defensively; "Sure but, well, the rest of us aren't princesses." Applejack said as she walked forward; "What's that got to do with anything?!" Twilight said as she turned to face Applejack once more, a clear look of annoyance now being present on her face.

"Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are gone. If something happened to you, I-I just don't think Equestria can risk losing another princess." Applejack said with a concerned expression. Rarity Chimed in to give her two bits; "Applejack does make a valid point, even if we manage to save the tree of harmony, it won't necessarily mean Princess Celestia and Princess Luna will return. Equestria will need some pony to lead in their absence."

"But the tree of harmony, I'm the only one who has seen it and knows what it looks like!" Twilight said as Rainbow Dash swooped down to join the conversation; "Huge tree, cutie marks on the trunk, probably being attacked by something hideously awful! Yeah, I'm pretty sure we'll know it when we see it." Twilight began to tear up; "All of you feel this way? Feel like, I shouldn't be here?" The other five looked at each other with sadness and guilt struck across their faces; "It is probably for the best." Fluttershy said, being the one to speak up for the group.

"I-I can't believe this! Why do you all think I shouldn't come with you?!" Twilight said, feeling sickened that her friends could feel this way about her; "Well uh, Sugar cube, you're just too important and we can't risk losing you." Applejack said and the group proceeded to nod in approval, still firm in their belief; "But can you all not see how, how-" Twilight swallowed hard, almost finding it hard to speak her next words, but she shook her head, and then used her hoof to wipe away her tears as she finally gained the courage to say what she needed to say; "Can you all not see how utterly STUPID that is?!" Twilight shouted as her sadness was immediately replaced with frustration in a split instant. Applejack and the rest of the group back peddled a bit, shocked at Twilight's sudden outburst.

Twilight proceeded to walk forward towards her friends as they slowly backed themselves into a nearby oversized rock; "How can you all not realize that the elements of harmony require all six of us to work! Every single time we've found ourselves in one of these situations, where the fate of Equestria is at stake; it was the friendship shared between all of us that ended up saving the day! Now that I'm an Alicorn with princess responsibilities, do you think that the status quo has just suddenly magically changed?! Do you all really think that this situation, despite the countless times we've been in this exact same scenario, will be solved any differently than the last four or so times this has happened?! What kind of logic is that?! Think, Elements, Think!"

"You know girls, she does make a really good point when she's-" Before Rarity could finish her sentence, Twilight lit up her horn and encased Rarity in a levitation spell. Rarity flailed her legs around in the air a bit as Twilight teleported in and levitated an empty tin can towards Rarity. She then proceeded to attempt shoving the white unicorn in her grasp headfirst into the tin can, much to the shock of the others below and despite the white unicorn obviously being way too big to fit inside the tiny tin can. Rarity attempted to pronounce her protests as her muzzle was squeezed and squashed up inside the tin can but before she could muffle out anything, Twilight casted an elasticity spell and squashed Rarity into the rest of the tin can with ease before tossing the tin can away like yesterday's garbage; "Can it Rarity! Now I really wanna know! What do you all honestly think you can do without me?!" Twilight said as she began pointing an accusatory hoof at Fluttershy; "Fluttershy! Let's start with you!"

"M-Me?!" Fluttershy said, whimpering and shivering a bit; "Imagine if you didn't have me, or any pony else here to back you up or protect you! What would you do if you couldn't use the elements of harmony?! then you would have to rely on your individual strength as a pony. But here's the problem! Fluttershy, if I can recall, during the changeling invasion at Canterlot; You didn't do one single thing when we were fighting all the changelings disguised as us! Not only can you not hurt a fly, but you have no courage whatsoever! You get scared of the slightest thing and after all you've been through, that's frankly shocking. How can you possibly expect yourself to be of any help in a situation where you needed to protect Equestria from a major threat like an oversized monster?!" Fluttershy began to tear up from Twilight brutally destroying her mentally with her words; "I-It's all true! I'm such a useless pony!" Fluttershy yelled as she dived behind a nearby bush and began bawling her eyes out.

"Twilight! Now that was just plain uncalled for!" Applejack said as she attempted to walk up to Twilight. Twilight saw this and immediately lit up her horn again, prompting Applejack to back up nervously with a fearful expression; "You wait your turn Applejack, I'll be getting to you here in a moment!" Twilight said coldly as her horn dimmed down and she looked to Pinkie Pie with an angry glare. Pinkie Pie returned the look, befuddled as to what kind of grudge Twilight suddenly held against her; "Huh, what did I do?! Did I leave the confetti in the oven again?! Oh no! The Cakes will be so mad when they-" Twilight lit up her horn again and summoned a great big, magical oversized hand which proceeded to clamp down on Pinkie's Muzzle, forcing her mouth to be shut.

"That's exactly your problem Pinkie Pie! You can't take any situation seriously! We're in the middle of a possible world ending situation and here you are talking about your personal matters as if they are more important than what we are dealing with right now! You have no sense of responsibility to your role as an element of harmony and its frankly utterly shameful, not just to yourself, but to all of Equestria! You need to seriously consider getting your priorities back together if you want any chance of being an actual valuable member in this group." Upon hearing Twilight's cruel words, Pinkie Pie's mane deflated as she looked down towards the ground in sadness.

Twilight released her grip on Pinkie's lips, causing them to droop pathetically towards the ground in their smushed up state. Twilight then turned towards Applejack and Rainbow Dash, both of them now fearing what kind of verbal be littering they were about to receive from Twilight. However, they lightened up a bit when Twilight instead smiled back at them; "Applejack, Rainbow Dash, despite it all, you two are each individually extremely valuable members of the elements of harmony. You stick true to your roles, and you are both very strong ponies; even if you each have your individual hiccups every now and again, you both stay true to your elements."

Rainbow Dash stood proudly before widening her eyes a bit at what Twilight just said; "H-Hey! What do you mean hiccups?! I don't have any hiccups! Applejack has way more hiccups than me!" Applejack looked at Rainbow Dash with a glare; "I do not have more hiccups than you! Last I heard, you didn't even get your bit of the weekly weather patrol done this week cause you were too busy napping and showing off with your tricks!" Rainbow Dash looked visibly shocked and upset at Applejack, so she leaned in close to her face to give her a piece of her mind; "Well excuse me for trying to prove my worth to the Wonder bolts! My stunt practices take a lot of time and energy and I need to always be in tip top shape for them which is why I constantly conserve my energy for them!" Applejack leaned her head closer as well; "Sounds like nothing but excuses to me!"

The two mares looked at each other with competitive expressions before they both heard Twilight's horn begin to glow and their eyes grew wide, knowing what was about to happen. They both wanted to run away to safety right then and there but they both soon realized that they couldn't move their bodies and realized Twilight casted a spell to freeze up their bodies in place yet still keep them aware of everything. They were little more than life like statues of ponies, but they could still move their eyes around thankfully. Twilight proceeded to lift them both up with her telekinesis spell and lined them up so that they were facing her. They both knew what was coming but they each weren't sure if they could take it.

"Now I did say, individually, you are each extremely valuable members of the elements of harmony. However, when you two are paired together, you always seem to turn it into a competition to see who is better. If I can recall, your competitiveness got so bad during the iron pony competition that I ended up beating both of you in a foot race simply because you two were so absorbed in beating each other that the race itself seemed to slip from your minds. If you two had taken that competition seriously then you both would've easily beaten me. But that was a while back and I haven't seen much improvement since then. You both need to stop being so obsessed with each other and start working as a team."

Twilight then released the spell on Applejack and Rainbow Dash, allowing the two mares to move their bodies once again. They looked to each other and looked down, feeling ashamed of themselves for letting their competitive attitudes go too far. Twilight had opened their eyes to their flawed friendship, and they each now felt like putting their differences aside, for the sake of Equestria and their friendship as a whole. They both knew the road wasn't going to be easy but perhaps together, they could work through it.

Twilight then turned around and levitated the tin can from earlier off the ground and back towards herself. She proceeded to flip it upside down and shake it out a bit to hopefully wiggle out the smushed up form of Rarity that was inside. As Twilight expected, the cylinder-shaped, marshmallow looking Rarity blob came sliding out slowly before plopping onto the floor with a splat. She looked up at Twilight with the biggest "I'm having the worst day ever thanks to you" expression she could muster. Twilight lit up her horn and within a second, Rarity popped back into her normal shape after Twilight casted a reform spell on her. Rarity looked over herself and pulled out a mirror before shrieking in horror upon the revelation of her mane looking messed up from the tin can smushing; "Look what you did to my hair!" Rarity whined as she pulled out a hairbrush to set things right in her life once again.

Twilight rolled her eyes; "Saved the best for last" she said as she took away Rarity's hairbrush with her magic; "Hey! Give that back! My mane is a mess! Do you have any idea what the rich ponies will think of me when they see me?! They'll think I'm a laughingstock!" Rairtiy whined dramatically as Twilight looked at her with an expression of shame; "Rarity, I don't think it needs to be said that your biggest flaw is that you are a drama queen. Every pony already knows that. What I can't forgive is the fact you frequently try to put us aside for your own personal gain. You look at us as merely objects to boaster your reputation and business. Same thing as I said with Pinkie applies with you; you care way too much about your own matters to take the fate of the world seriously. This might sound ironic when applied to you; but I really think you need to look in a mirror Rarity. Get your priorities together and start living up to your element's name sake." Rarity felt lightheaded as she fainted onto the grass from Twilight's horrid, dastardly words.

Discord let out a chuckle as he suddenly poofed out of existence and stood on top of Twilight's head as a miniature sized version of himself; "Oh ho ho, Twilight my dear; I think if there's any pony here who needs to look in a mirror, It's you" Discord said as Twilight looked up at the draconequus with a look of annoyance; "What are you talking about Discord?! These ponies are the ones who need to look in a mirror! They can't seem to understand that it was our friendship that got us as far as we did and it's that same friendship that will save the day yet again!" Discord let out a chuckle upon hearing Twilight say this to him; "And where would you say that friendship is now?"

"It's-" Twilight paused for a moment as she caught on to what Discord was saying. She then looked around and saw the devastated looks on the ponies she once called her best friends. Now they looked completely emotionally defeated and devastated, all because of her. Twilight had driven the group apart by going too far in the moment. She let her anger get the better of her and it caused her to say things that she probably shouldn't have said. And at a time like this, when they were needed now more than ever, Twilight already knew, that they had lost. They had let Equestria down, and it was all her fault.

Discord took this moment to drive it into Twilight by laughing hysterically at her misery; "Isn't that ironic? The element that was meant to unite the others was the one that ended up driving them away in the time when they were needed most. Since I've already won, I may as well let you in on a little secret Twilight. The cherry on top of this betrayal cake. I WAS behind this all along!" Twilight's face scowled with more fury in her voice than ever before; "You won't get away with this Discord. You just wait, we'll recover, and then we'll turn you to stone once more!"

Discord let out a sinister smile as he suddenly grew to his normal size and leaned over Twilight; "Oh, and why should I have to wait huh? What is this? One of your nerdy role-playing games? Why should I have to wait when I have the opportunity right here and now to get what I want! You ponies have been pushing me around for far too long! Chaos isn't something you can bring order to! It's unpredictable as things should be! And right now, it's hungry for some long-time revenge." Discord let out a wicked laugh as Twilight now realized the extent to which she messed up. She let out a scream just as Discord snapped his fingers but she didn't feel any different. Discord then barely contained his laughter as he pulled out a book from Twilight's library and opened its pages in her direction. It was then that Twilight realized what he had done. He had deprived her the ability to read. Twilight then looked up to the sky and yelled at the top of her lungs; "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"