The Story of J

“What do you think it is spike?” I heard a female voice say. When I heard the voice it reminded me of a librarian for some reason. The voice just had that kind of feel about it that just kind of screamed bookworm in my mind at least. “I dunno but it sure looks big, maybe he came from Everfree.” I heard a more boyish reply a little sharp sounded like a young boy maybe 8 if I had to guess off of sound alone. ‘Hmm I really don’t want to get up right now but it’s rude to sleep in someone’s house and not say hi, or is it?’ As I debated this I opened my eyes to stare directly into the eyes of a purple horse. I jumped in shock and hit the back of the wall. I stood quickly and crouched into an offensive position to attack at any moment. I noticed that of to the right of the small horse stood a rather large lizard that was almost as big as the horse but the horse barely reached my waste so it must be a pony right? I looked at them both with distrust in my eyes not daring to speak a word. My hands clenched in fists ready to kick some ass.

“I think you scared it Twi.” The purple looking lizard said. “I wonder if it can understand us Spike. Do you understand me?” Twi asked looking first at Spike then at me. ‘Hmm they don’t know whether I can talk or not best to play the fool and see what I can learn from these so should I be the smart primate or the ignorant brute? Best to play it cool with the smart primate, that way I can learn as much as possible quickly.’ I grunted a confirmation to her question and she looked ecstatic to find that I was somewhat intelligent.

“Ohhh imagine the things we can find out from it! I have discovered a new species never before documented in Equestrian history imagine what we could learn from it. There are so many tests to run on it!” Twi was blabbering off acting like a fan girl for Justin Beiber or something weird. When she said she wanted to run tests on me I frowned. ‘No way in hell I'm going to let any mother fucker use me for tests’ I let out the most menacing growl I can conjure up and it scared the shit out of both of them. I think Spike almost pissed himself while trembling. Twilight cowered away from me clearly seeing that I was not up for running tests on. “T-t-t-twi I don’t think tests are so good.” Spike stammered out. His response almost made me want to pat myself on the back for a job well done. “I think so too Spike.” Twi finally managed to mutter very quietly.

With that I sat back down on the ground and picked up one of the books from the shelves and tried to read it. The cover read ‘Mythical and Dangerous Creatures’ and I was surprised that it was in English. I was also surprised to see that the horse and lizard both spoke the same language as well. I was reading the book and managed to spot the Manticore along with the tree wolves, which are called Timber wolves. I was glad to be out of that cursed forest. Twi and Spike spoke with hushed tones and were talking about me no doubt and what to do with me. I wasn’t really paying any attention to them and decided to turn the book upside down to make it look like I didn’t know how to read. Looking at the book very confused Twi saw me and tried to stifle a giggle. I looked up at her with a confused expression on my face and set the book down. “Man I should get an award for best actor either I’m a really good actor or these ponies are incredible stupid”. I then saw the book lifted with a purple aura and jumped back. I saw Twi and noticed for the first time that she had a horn. ‘No fucking way Unicorns exist??Where the fuck am I?’ I thought to myself.

“My name is Twilight Sparkles, do you have a name?” Twilight asked. I had to hold in my giggles as I thought of her name sounding like a prostitute. Her parents must not have liked her very much.’ I thought to myself. I grunted to her that had no real meaning and I think she got the hint, she frowned and said aloud “well I can’t keep calling you It can I?” I grunted more positively as if to say ‘yeah you actually can.’ To which she replied almost astounded “You want me to call you It?” I just nodded and she appeared to make a mental note and started to mumble to herself while trotting off. No doubt to get some pen and paper to start documenting me. Of course to my amusement she came back a minute later with a quill and a lot of paper. “Great I’m going to be here a while, might as well get comfortable.”

I rested my head on the back of the wall and relaxed as Twilight scribbled furiously and started to poke and prod me profusely mumbling and ranting on. I understood her quite clearly but the things she was saying and writing were overly stupid and common sense at least that’s what I thought. They were hardly worth repeating as she started to compare me to different types of animals. I swatted her away when she started to poke me a little too close to my crotch for comfort. I was getting rather bored really quickly so I decided to get out of this place as soon as I could. It didn’t take before I got my chance.

“Alright Spike, I’m leaving you in charge of It so I can get Fluttershy to get her opinion of him. She has experience with animals maybe she knows what it is. It has to be some sort of exotic animal. I wonder what they’re called?” with that she left the place rambling on.

I saw Spike look at me bored and say something about getting a snack and then left for the kitchen. “No better time like now I suppose” I thought to myself. I crept to the door and listened to see if Spike could hear me. He was rummaging through the kitchen rather noisily so I silently crept out while he was distracted and made a mad dash to the forest. Surprisingly no one saw me or rather no pony saw me. I watched from the edge of the forest in a bush the many different ponies go about their day. It was weird seeing them all act like humans would. There were regular ponies, unicorns and winged ones, which could only be Pegisi. I decided that I had had enough crazy for one day. At least in the forest it was simple, kill or be killed. So with that I retreated back to the familiar forest delving in to find my cave. In the month of surviving the forest I had made a lot of progress. Found a cave, made it my own, and improvised many weapons out of wood and stone; though the night I found the house I was scouting out the rather weird looking village that I always saw at night.

In my cave I had wooden pikes set up at the base of the cave in case I ever had to make a stand. At the entrance I had an almost complete ballista of sorts. It needed a lot of tweaking and the twine I made out of reeds from the river wasn’t strong enough to support the string for the ballista. Still it would be useful if I could get it to work. I walked into the cave to see a few spears neatly set off to the side in case of an emergency need of one. I had had many fights over my little cave and it was always better to be safe than sorry.

I went further into the cave to see my makeshift hammock and next to it my true armory. My armory consisted of dual stone swords that looked like crude scimitars. Next to them was my bow that had saved my life on many of occasions. I had it as a short bow at first for flexibility but scrapped it when I decided that a great bow would be better suited to defend me. The power of the great was always astonishing, I was able to clean a manticore with two shots to the eyes and the bow could shoot straight through a timber wolf. The same twine that was being used for the ballista was being used for my bow, which was more successful. The bow had some stone arrows next to it along with some wooden arrows to incapacitate anything that could serve as bait. There were also a large variety of knives some, which look like they were meant to be thrown others to be gut and a few to fight with. I had only been here for a month but I had barely slept a wink in the forest. The forest had a way of keeping you fully aware and always on your toes. I may be the most feared in the forest but there will always be something out there to try and overstep its boundaries.

I grabbed my scimitars and began to sharpen them with a dull stone. It was always a pain in the ass trying to straighten out them but if anything I could always make them stronger. I sat there honing the blades when I felt a gut feeling that I needed to secure my territory. I have found that in this forest there was always one thing that always stayed true to me. Never doubt the gut feeling.

With that I grabbed my bow and slung it over me and grabbed a few throwing knives, a gutting knife and a fighting knife. Knives were small and weighed little so they wouldn’t hinder my movement like the swords or spears would. I walked out the cave and assessed the area. The forest was too quiet. I quickly climbed up a tree and stopped to listen to the forest. I heard movement to the east from where I came from earlier, the pony from earlier no doubt trying to find me. I quickly jumped from tree to tree as silently as possible make little noise other than the rustling of the tree branches. Most predators would brush it off as the wind. I stopped suddenly when I saw the pony with the dragon with another in tow. This one was yellowish except, darker almost and a Pegasus. I’m not very color coordinated. I overheard them talking to each other.

“Twilight it’s not safe in the forest, I think we should go back.” The Pegasus said quietly, so quietly that I barely heard it. “Well if Spike had actually watched it then we wouldn’t have to find it Fluttershy besides it could be in danger.” Twilight replied. ‘hmm so they are looking for me huh? It might be best not to be seen then.’ “Besides I sent Spike to go get the others to help look for it. So they should be coming soon.” Twilight said reassuringly. Something told me that the one called Fluttershy didn’t want to be here, more than that I could feel her fear much like a wolf could. I continued to observe them as they trekked further into the forest going further away from the town. “Umm…Twilight can we go wait for the others? If you don’t mind that is..” Fluttershy stammered out clearly uncomfortable with the forest. I decided then to let out a deep wolf howl. It was one to show that meant that territory was being trespassed. Don’t ask how I knew, I just knew what it meant. Both of them jumped at the sound of the howl and looked at each other in clear fear.

“I think we should wait for the others too. Let’s go back.” Twilight fearfully said and the both of them galloped away. I laughed to myself as I thought of their faces. “Oh God, that was priceless” I said to myself allowing a small chuckle to escape my lips. With a grin I began to take matters into my own hands and decided to make traps to harmlessly capture the ponies. I set up nets that I would usually use to capture wolves and scattered the dirt over them to camouflage them. I dug a few pits as well and made few branch traps that would cause the branches to hit the tripper that should knock them out. It took me a few hours to finally get all the traps in place and when they were finished I decided to check near the edge to see if the ponies were coming back.

Sure enough as I reached the border of the forest I saw the two ponies from earlier getting ready to trek through the forest. Twilight and Fluttershy were there but there were others next to them that were knew. There was another Pegasus with a blue coat and a rainbow mane. The first thing that came to mind was of course skittles. “Man that sounds kind of good right now.” I thought to myself.

The next was a light orange pony with a blonde mane. This one was wearing a cowboy hat. “What in the world?” I whispered to myself. Next to her stood a white pony with a blue mane that was styled up very stylishly. “I truly have gone mad haven’t I?” I asked myself. The last was a pink one was bouncing excitedly. It was then I noticed the strange markings on their flanks and that all of them were females or whatever the female version of a pony is. Twilight had weird sparkles on hers and Fluttershy had butterflies on hers. Skittles had a cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt. The Cowboy had apples on hers, while the Stylist had gems on hers and Jumpy had balloons on hers. “Where the bloody hell am I?” I said to myself a little too loudly as the girls heard me and looked towards the forest.

“Did you girls hear that?” Twilight asked looking at the others. There was a silent nod from everyone except Jumpy who only seemed to get more excited. “Do you think that it was the thing from earlier that you lost Twilight? You know the one you said that Spike lost who said he was only distracted but we all really know he was getting a snack to eat. Do you think it loves parties and cupcakes and mmmmmphhh” she was cut off thankfully as Jumpy appeared to be talking erratically and I barely registered all she had said.

“Let’s just hurry up and find this thing I don’t want to be in that dreadful forest any longer than I have to. The last time I was here my mane was awful by the time we left.” Stylist had said going on and on about her mane and what not it was very annoying and I was grateful when she finally shut up. They all started towards the forest and just as they entered I did one final check to see I was ready to make them work for catching me. I waited until they were almost below me when I dropped down in front of them scaring the crap out of them. They all fell onto the ground in pure terror. Stylist shrieked while Twilight was being held down by Fluttershy who was too terrified to do much but clamp onto Twilight and shiver in pure terror. I growled a warning for good measure to add to their terror of me. I grinned as I turned away and leapt away from them. I looked back to see them picking themselves up. I was rather hoping that they would drop this hunt for me now but it seemed I only furthered their resolve as I heard.

“Come on girls we can catch him there are six of us and only one of him. They all muttered and nodded a confirmation. Then i mumbled to myself “Ohh well so much for doing things the easy way. Well then let the games begin.”

A/N: Took me awhile to get this done. I have read the comments and am trying to cut back on the walls of text by a lot. Big thanks to my co-author WrestlingFan1013. He has a terrible username, but he helped me stay on track long enough to finish the story so he isn't that bad. Anyway enjoy the story and criticism is appreciated.

CA/N: thank you for being patient. hopefully now that I have an account we can can get stories out faster