Shenanigans

After I introduced myself the girls kept bombarding me with questions. Rarity went on and on about how horrid my clothes were even though I was just wearing tattered shorts. I then said the one thing I would come to regret for the rest of my life. “Well if there so terrible how about you go get me some new ones?” I didn’t know at the time she made clothes. I saw a sparkle in her eyes that warned me that I had somehow piqued her interest.

“Yes, I could make you new clothes. Clothes much better than that rag your wearing. Ohh I can imagine the colors that would go well with you. A nice shade of brown would look nice and maybe even a dark shade of green. Darling you simply must let me take your measurements. I have to go to my store and get them, I’ll be back before you know it.” She then left and I saw the looks of the others and knew that I had truly and utterly fucked up.

“I fucked up didn’t I?” I asked them in a defeated tone.

“You’re in for mighty long standin’ best ta get comfy now.” Applejack answered me with a smirk.

“Well then can I get some grub before I'm forced into being a human mannequin? I’m starving over here.” I say as my stomach grumbles as if to agree with me. The girls all laugh at me and I scowl. It’s as if starving is funny, women. If there is one thing I learned it’s that with women they’re always right even when their wrong. Don’t get me wrong I'm not sexist it’s just that in my eyes women and men will never be equal. That’s probably why most women back home never appreciated my opinions. To hell with them I always said I’ll speak my mind when I want.

I end up leaving them while they laugh to see what food I can scavenge from Twilight’s kitchen. I rummage through a couple of cabinets finding only plates, mugs and bowls. Then I open the fridge to find some hay on a plate, a plate full of gems and apples. I grab the apples and slam the fridge. She only has four apples so I take them all to devour them. I munch through the apple, like I hadn’t eaten in weeks. Which is partially true, seeing how I didn’t sleep much during the day nor the night, I spent most of the time making weapons to defend myself and traps to kill off the larger prey. I all but inhaled the second, third and fourth apple leaving nothing behind not even the core.

“Were you really that hungry?” Twilight asks me. I’m too busy trying to chew the remains of the apple. They tasted sweet and juicy and for once actually left me full.

“Huh? Ohh yeah been awhile since I last had any food. Timberwolves aren’t edible and manticore’s venom runs through its entire system so not exactly healthy to eat either. Rabbits weren’t exactly in my part of the woods and the only meal I actually had was the chicken snake thing. Best meal ever.” I say thinking on my horrible month in the Everfree. Let’s just say that I hate that place which a passion. I was being hunted all throughout that almost the entire time.

“You ate a cockatrice?” They all paled when they heard what Twilight just said.

“Is that what they’re called? Tastes like chicken to me and after starving for two weeks anything tastes great. I got so desperate I actually tried to eat a Timberwolf.” I shudder visible. “I had a sappy taste in my mouth for weeks after that. Still kind of taste it too.” I start smacking my lips with a disgusted look on my face. It was then that I noticed that the girls started to back away from me.

“You’re a carnivore!?” Twilight all but shouted at me.

“No ya idiot I just ate some apples I’m an omnivore thank you.” I saw that the looks on their faces didn’t change one bit.“Who the hell are any of you to judge me ehh? You chased me through my territory to experiment on me! I will not be anyone’s pet or experiment. You think that I’m evil because I eat meat? Then shame on you all for judging me because of what I eat and not who I am. All of you are no better than uptight nobles looking down on peasants. Don’t ever look down on me. Ever. I can kill you all easily and don’t you dare forget it. I don’t have to deal with any of your shit!” they all look abashed and shamed for their over reactions. Me, I was beyond pissed. I stormed off past them and made my way to the door when Rarity opened the door right on me, slamming it right in my face. She walked in and saw the door lodged in my face and closed the door. I clenched my fists at my sides, my instincts begging that I rip them all apart.

“J, darling I’m-“That’s all she got out before I interrupted her.

“Stop while you’re ahead.” I turned away from her coldly. I walked up to Twilight to see her still standing there looking ashamed. She opened her mouth to say something. “Not. One. Word. Show me where I will be staying; if I do not have a room I swear to all that is holy I will burn this tree to the ground.” From the way her eyes shifted it didn’t look like it. Then her eyes lit up and she led me to the basement. Apparently this is where her lab was and she was getting ready to take it all away, but I had a better idea. “Leave it. I won’t take up too much room and this room is big enough.” It was very spacious, perfect for a lab.

“Are you sure I can just move it all out the way for you it’s no problem.” She was trying to appease me to make me as comfortable as possible. “I can get a bed for you in a week or so if you don’t mind the wait.” She was desperate to get on my good side.

“I will sleep on the floor. I am used to unpleasant sleeping places and being too comfortable is never too good. That will be all for now.” She looked like she wanted to say something but thought better of it and left. I was left there all alone and managed to find some paper and a quill in an inkwell and now I sit here writing this journal. I have been writing for what feels like forever trying to piece all the crazy stuff that’s happened. I had changed so much. That forest changed me into a killing machine. I felt emptier inside than I had when I killed myself. That was a month ago. I clench my fists eager to vent my anger. I knew that I couldn’t though. I have to keep my composure and try to keep calm. I sat in the middle of the room and crossed my legs to meditate. I sat like that for hours just meditating. I cleared my thoughts and opened myself to the world. I could hear the mumblings of the mares above talking amongst each other. Rainbow had returned and I could feel the fear in their mumbles. I concentrated a bit more to hear the town bustling with activity. Then I emptied my mind and focused on my breathing.

I steadied my anger and my heart. I was calm. I focused on slowing my heart rate further and further. My heart slowing down more and more until it was barely moving. The entire world around me became slow and barely animate. My entire body pulsed with energy flowing through me. The world seemed to slow down. As I concentrated hard to keep up this state I began to sweat profusely. I managed to hold that state for a minute before I collapsed on the floor exhausted. My heart felt like it was going to jump out. It felt good, strangely to be so worn and exhausted. I sat down and examined the lab I was in looking for any books. I found a few books here and there some on chemistry, some on stars and such. Then I found what I was looking for blank paper. I eventually found an inkwell and a quill and began to write the events that have occurred to me thus far.

I had become so engrossed in my writing that I did not hear the door open or close. It wasn’t until they spoke that I realized anyone was there. “What are you doing?” I quickly snapped around my hands moving instinctively to quickly kill whatever had snuck up on me when I stopped midway and realized it was just Twilight. I gave a sigh of relief as I had caught myself before I killed her. These ponies will be the death of me, especially if I killed one of them.

“I am writing a log of events that have occurred to me and around me. It is like a journal in some ways.” I responded looking around to see if there was anyone else there. Surprisingly she was the only one down here trying to talk to me.“Where are the others? Surely they would not leave you here alone.”

“Ohh no Rainbow Dash is still upstairs she’s resting though. Everypony else had jobs to get back to. Fluttershy should be coming by later on to check on you.” She says and my eyes widen and I feel my heart skip a beat.

“The Demon! You invited the demon to come back. That one is evil and cursed. She is using you for her own gain. That thing is no pony; it is a demon straight from hell.” My voice rose as I tried to reason with Twilight.

“Fluttershy is no demon! I will not stand here and let you badmouth my friends in my home! You will apologize to her for saying such mean and hateful things. You are lucky she doesn’t remember you calling her that. You could hurt her feelings.” Twilight said trying to make me feel sympathetic towards the demon.

“I will not apologize to that thing. Demon or not I will not apologize for something I do not feel sorry about. Furthermore that demon did something with my mind. That, stare of hers. I say the very fathoms of my soul. The injustices and the wicked things I’ve done. Every bad thing I ever did came rushing back to me in seconds. No, I refuse to apologize to such a evil vile thing that can do such a thing to me.” I say thinking about the memories that I pushed away from remembering. Dwelling on the past would accomplish nothing now.

“You’re not a very nice pony.” Twilight said with a frown.

“Well I guess it’s a good thing I’m not a pony then isn’t?” I say with a grin.

“You know what I mean.”

“Do I? I don’t think I do. Please do remind me of what I have forgotten. I have such a bad memory now-a-days.” I say sarcastically.

“Why do you have to be so difficult?” Twilight asked with a huff.

“Whatever do you mean Twilight? I am not being difficult at all. What would I accomplish in my current position by being difficult?” I say with a smirk enjoying every bit of her frustration.

“I don’t know! That’s what I want to know. You’re so confusing. I don’t get you at all. It’s like you want me to be confused and want me to keep guessing at your true intentions.” As she says this she looks up to see me wearing a wide grin.

“Why Twilight I am totally appalled that you would think that of me. What could I ever gain from your confusion? Maybe I am flirting with you in the way I know best. You are a beautiful mare and I would do anything to please you.” Twilight blushed at my compliment and as I approached her she looked away from me blushing deeply as if ashamed. I put my hand beneath her muzzle and lifted her face close to mine where I could see her eyes. “Within reason of course.” I said seductively closing in on her face watching as the purple unicorn light up a deep red. She closed her eyes in anticipation and just as we were about to kiss I patted her head much to her confusion. It took all my power to hold in the deep laughter that I wanted to let loose. “We should check on make sure she isn’t too lonely.” She was shocked beyond all belief and didn’t quite understand what I said until I began to climb up the stairs out of the basement.

“Wait J. What was that?” She asked curious to know why I had played her along. I knew this but decided to play dumb to entertain the game.

“What was what Twilight?” I asked trying to act as innocent as possible.

“You were going to kiss me back there. I’m sure of it. That’s why you were so close to my face right?”

“Why Twilight whatever do you mean?. I just wanted to pet you because your mane because it looks so soft and cute.” She blushed at that and began to stutter profusely. I laughed at her attempt to say something to which she scowled at me. By this time we had already came into the living seeing Rainbow stare at us. Well more at me suspiciously. “What?” I asked.

“You acting all buddy, buddy with Twi. She may trust you but I got my eye on you buster.” She says trying to appear as menacingly as possible as she floats up to my face putting a hoof to her eye and then at me.

“Why Rainbow Dash your lack of trust in me is despairing. What shall I do now with my life? Now that you don’t trust me I might as well be dead, oh the horror to not be trusted.” I say dramatically adding a fake tear at the end. “What must I do to earn your trust to live one my beautiful friend?” Rainbow blushes at the compliment surprisingly, while Twilight looks at me with a scowl and I could see a hint of jealousy in her eyes.

“Whatever. Your fancy words don’t mean anything to me. Just stay out of trouble or I’ll have to kick your flank.” She said, that however gave me a mischievous idea. I grinned widely as I knew this would be the icing on the cake for my flirting.

“Twilight, Rainbow can you two stand side to side?” They looked at me weirdly but complied, confusion clear on their faces. “Now turn around for me and stand still I want to see something.” I say the grin never leaving my face and again they comply even more confused than before. Then I looked at them both with clear thoughtfulness.

“What are you looking for?” Twilight asks me curious to know what is I wanted to see.

“Ohh I’m comparing who’s flanks are bigger.” I say nonchalantly as if it was no big deal. They both spun around fast blushing furiously. I merely laugh at their discomfort. Maybe these ponies could keep me entertained.

A/N: Man you wouldn't believe how much effort it took me to write this. Not a lot I assure you. I enjoy writing these chapters as I hope you enjoy them. Sorry for the lack of fighting going around but i figure that you have to build up tension with the story before you jump into the action. Don't worry i'll be sure to put little funnies in the chapters to come to get you guys laughing. Anyway changed the picture to better represent J. Could use an artist to draw me a pic if it isn't too much to ask for. Enough of me ranting I have to get writing on the next chapter so stick put for more.

Ca/N: thank you for patience hope u enjoy it.