Discordia, Inc.

By volrathxp

Code Word: #DiscordiaInc

Princess Twilight Sparkle sighed loudly as she changed the channel on the television Discord had given her. The pink cartoon character on the screen flipped over to a boring-looking pony reading out some sort of terrible news. Twilight groaned loudly and flicked the switch once more to turn it off, the screen going dark except for two yellow and red eyes staring directly at her.

“Gah!” she cried out, nearly falling off of her throne. The two eyes began to emerge out of the television, revealing the ghostly head of the lord of Chaos himself.

“Oh, hello, Twilight. How are you doing today? Can I get you anything?” Discord asked with a toothy grin.

“Discord! Don’t do that to me,” Twilight said angrily. “What are you doing here anyways? Come to gloat some more?”

“Oh now, Twilight. Don’t be so mad. The ponies of Ciderfest chose me, and I’ve got a lot to do before this year’s convention. So much chaos and creativity to decide upon. That’s actually why I’m here. I need your help with something.”

“You need… my help? That’s surprising,” Twilight replied bluntly. “I thought you had your new Creativity Officer for that.”

“Oh, Izzy Moonbow has been a dear, hasn’t she? Unfortunately she’s rather busy at the moment with another task involving the auroricorns at Starlight Ridge. No, Twilight, this task is uniquely suited to your talents,” Discord said with glee in his eyes. “I need some of those famous organizational skills that Twilight Sparkle is well known for.”

“You need my help with organizing something?” Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow. “You. The Lord of Chaos. Need help organizing things.”

“Of course. Who else would I come to for organizing? I’m practically the most disorganized creature in all of existence!” Discord exclaimed, as all of his body parts switched places at once before coming back to their normal discordant places. Normal for Discord, at least.

“Fine, I’ll bite. What’s the catch?” Twilight said. “What can I possibly help you with?”

“Well, as you know… Whinny City Pony Con is coming up in a few months, you’ve seen the ads for that one I have to assume, and I’ve been asked to make a grand presentation to reveal Discordia, Incorporated to the masses!” Discord said, suddenly producing a projector and screen along with several out-of-order Powerpoint slides.

“Discordia, Incorporated?” Twilight said blankly. “You… you are making a company out of this? What are you even going to be doing?”

“Selling Chaos, of course! But I just can’t get these slides in order, they keep wanting to, oh wait there one goes,” Discord said as another copy of him split off to go chase after a slide that escaped from the pile. It had little legs and ran off down away from the throne before the other Discord produced a rope and lassoed it.

“I don’t quite understand what is going on here. You’re selling chaos? How does that even work?” Twilight asked.

“Well, I did make about 50,000 human dollars selling an animated video,” Discord mused. “Never mind that one, though. I’ve got big plans for this company, Twilight. And it all starts here with you.”

Twilight’s eyebrow raised once more. “And what exactly is it you need me to do?” she asked.

Discord pointed at the mishmashed pile of slides on the screen. “You’re looking at it.”

“You came here to ask me to organize a PowerPoint presentation?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” Twilight shouted, her eyes raging before calming back down. She muttered under her breath, “Okay, okay. This is fine, Twilight. You’re fine.”

Discord grinned sheepishly, and then put down the sheep’s mask covering his face. “I couldn’t think of anypony else who would be up to the task. Besides… it’s a good break from all of that television watching you’ve been doing the past few days.”

“You… you saw that?” Twilight asked, blinking.

“I see everything, Twilight.”

“Oh. Okay then,” Twilight said, her head drooping slightly. She scowled. “Fine. But I want something in return for helping you.”

“I aim to please, Twilight Sparkle. Whatever can I, the Lord of Chaos and the Book of All Stories, do for you?” Discord replied.

“Twilight Sparkle! Fetch me a juice. King Sombra is thirsty,” a voice shouted from across the room.

“I want out. You can leave my roommate, but I want out,” Twilight said, peering over Discord’s shoulder. In the distance, King Sombra sat regally on the couch, staring at the other television. A gaggle of cute bunnies hopped across the screen. “Seriously, I can’t stand it anymore. He’s insufferable!”

“I’m waiting!” Sombra called back.

Discord grinned widely. “So, if I let you out of here, you promise to help me make Discordia, Inc. the best company that ever did a company?”

Twilight grimaced and nodded. “If you let me out, I will help you fix your PowerPoint,” she said.

Discord stroked his chin, pondering Twilight’s offer.

[CHOICE]
Should Discord let Twilight out or keep her trapped in the Book?

Let Twilight out! (Hero)
Keep her trapped. (Chaos)

[ENDING A: HERO]
Discord finally nodded slowly. “Fine, you’re right, Twilight. We are friends, and I very much would appreciate your help, but we have to do things my way,” he said.

“Don’t worry about that,” Twilight with a roll of her eyes before composing herself. “I promise, on my word, that we’ll make your announcement at Whinny City the best one ever!”

Discord snapped his claws as both he and Twilight disappeared and reappeared in a space filled with color and swirling depths. A mishmashed building made of stucco, brick, and aluminum siding appeared before them. A massive sign with completely different fonts read DISCORDIA, INC. on the front of the building.

“Here we are then,” Discord said, waving a paw. “The old office building! We’ll get you a cubicle set right up and you can get to work, my new Executive Manager!”

“Executive Manager? I suppose I could get used to that,” Twilight said, chuckling as she followed Discord into the office building. “I get paid for this, right?”

(+1 page for Heroes)

[ENDING B: CHAOS]
Discord sighed loudly before shaking his head. “You know, Twilight. I really thought you were better than that. Using your friendship with me to leverage getting out of your little time-out,” he said.

“That’s not what I–” Twilight started to say before her mouth completely disappeared in a flash of light, cutting her off.

“Now, now. I know you just need some more time in the box to learn your lesson. You like lessons, right?” Discord replied. “I can see this is going nowhere. I’m just going to have to give the presentation as-is.”

Discord motioned to the pile of slides on the projector, an even number of which were forming some kind of tiny slide army and attacking the odd numbers. Little fires rampaged all over the projector screen. Discord groaned.

“Now I have to break up a civil war AND finish this presentation? This is going to take forever!” he cried out as he, the slides, and everything else disappeared into nothingness, leaving Twilight alone as her mouth reappeared.

“DISCORD!” she called out. “GET BACK HERE!”

“Twilight Sparkle! Where is my juice? I’m trying to watch my program and my thirst has absolutely not been quenched!” Sombra called out from the other side of the room.

Twilight scowled and slumped back onto her throne. With a flick of her horn, the television turned on once more.

(+1 page for Chaos)

Author's Note

We got to do some more of these stories for a sub game at Whinny City Pony Con 2024, so I did three more of these! This one was fun. Discord popping in on Twilight and Sombra who lost the game from Ciderfest was goofy to write.