Midlife Crisis
26 - Human Condition
Previous ChapterNext ChapterI hurried into my room just in time to flop down, get my keyboard out, and connect to my game. "Thank goodness..."
I was pretty sure that... whatever it was I was connected to, wasn't my actual computer back home. That was turned off. It'd stay off, likely forever. It turned itself off automatically each day and nobody but me knew how to turn it back on again.
Fortunately, the server my players connected to was hosted online, and I could connect to it without an issue. I got right into running the game. "Sorry I'm a minute late there, I was practicing my magic." It was the truth, but they laughed it off. It was absurd, and funny, and I didn't argue the conclusion they reached.
When the game was over, I withdrew the money. Money that I could never actually have anymore. Still, I deposited it off into my account and checked those accounts. My account was fine, even better than usual. I wasn't there to touch a single dollar of it. It was 100% profits!
I moved things around, putting that idle cash to work. Dang money should be working as hard as I was...
I took a moment to wave and chat idly on Discord. No reason to ghost all of them, since I had the option not to. "I should go, I smell dinner." Which I did! "Later," I typed, releasing my hooves from the keyboard and sliding that contraption away.
There, human world obligations, met. I trotted out to the smiling faces of my new Equestrian family and had a happy dinner with them.
Twinkle pointed at me. "He went off with Pinkie to meet her sister, Maud." Or I'd be ratted out, not that it was a secret or anything.
Twilight clapped gently. "How lovely. How is Maud doing? Did you get along well?"
Spike hiked a heavy brow. "This is Maud we're talking about. How would he know?"
There was some truth to that, but I shook my head. I saw my nose. I had a big equine snout, and I had just remembered that. I raised a hoof to feel over it as I talked. "I think she likes me, as a new friend."
Twilight smiled warmly. "Well I'm so glad to hear you all hit it off! Once you get past Maud's initial stoicism, she's actually quite sweet in her own way."
Her expression turned curious. "Did you have a chance to connect over her rock studies at all? I know they're a core passion for her and she has so few opportunities to really open up on the subject."
I chuckled wryly. "Oh yeah, we definitely dug deep there - quite literally in fact!" I proceeded to enthusiastically regale my impromptu underground magical experiments in Maud's crystalline cavern classroom as everypony listened with rapt amusement.
"She really seems intrigued by the intuitive style of my spellcraft," I explained after describing another feat of pulled crystal projection from ancient bedrock. "Something about 'ad hoc thaumaturgical articulations reflecting innate cognitive chronicles'." I shrugged and grinned helplessly Twilight's way. "I just nod and smile politely whenever she delves too deep into the arcane semantics."
Twilight returned my smile with a knowing one of her own. "Our Maud does have a tendency for overly elaborate technical explanations I'll admit, when she's speaking much at all. But I'm thrilled to hear you're bonding so swiftly!" She gave me an approving pat on the shoulder. "Having a family connection already should ease this dramatic transition wonderfully."
I flushed happily at the praise, only to double-take at her last sentiment. Family - not just friends but actually honorary kin? "Pinkie did mention me being a lost Pie, but that was Pinkie being Pinkie, nothing official, just Pinkie." I gently elbowed Spike next. "You know what it's like with honorary sibs."
Spike looked at me with confusion. "I'm Twilight's familiar, not her sibling. I dont have one of those." He scratched at the underside of his snout. "Hm... No... No relations, really, just Twilight as my creator." He snorted in a half-laugh. "Most creatures don't know their creator, but I do, and she's a nerd."
"Hey!"
"Just telling it like it is." He smiled at Twilight, unphased. "Fortunately, most ponies are alright with that."
I blinked in surprise at Spike matter-of-factly clarifying his created status separate from familial bonds. Oops, I had entirely forgotten they'd mentioned it before. My youth-if-ication didn't make my memory a steel trap.
"Ohh, my bad, I totally forgot that," I hastily backpedaled. "Where I'm from, Twilight hatched and raised you almost like surrogate siblings." I rubbed my neck awkwardly. "I guess I carried over a bunch of preconceptions that don't translate cleanly."
Twilight touched my shoulder gently. "No need to fret - you weren't to know. Besides, Spike and I share a profound arcane connection closer than any biological relatives." She smiled fondly his way. "I was barely more than a filly myself when an ambitious spell went rather dynamically awry..."
Spike waved a claw casually. "Which in turn hatched me - first as an impressionable whelp needing a maternal mentor's firm but caring guidance." His nonchalant tone softened slightly. "And Twilight Sparkle rose to that challenge marvelously..."
Noticing my lingering uncertain look, Spike reached to lightly punch my shoulder. "But hey, we may not share literal family ties, but you seem a standup fellow all the same in my book!" His sly grinned turned impish. "Even if you are still getting up to speed on relationship nuances 'round these parts."
I flushed faintly again but couldn't help an embarrassed chuckle at the gentle needling. "Heh, thanks Spike. And truly my bad for getting fantasy and reality crossed up." I met his amused eyes squarely. "The offer's still open if you need or want."
"Offer?" He pierced a whole potato and stuffed it in his mouth. "What offer?"
"Uncle?" I directed a hoof at myself. "If you want?"
"Oh." He looked to Twinkle. "So, you learn, or teach, any wild new magics?"
He was using my playbook, changing the topic. Still, I had no reason to pry, so I let the topic die as Twinkle went on about how much progress she was making learning the local unicorn magic.
Instead I turned my attention to Twinkle's enthusiastic account of her magical studies, smiling at seeing the small pony so vivaciously engaged. Her bright smiles and energetic gestures painted a positive picture of burgeoning skills.
"That all sounds dang cool!" I praised when she finally paused for breath. "Seems like you have a real talent for conjuring considering you're still fairly new to having a body at all."
I tilted my head thoughtfully. "Out of curiosity are you noticing differences in magical manipulation compared to when you first arrived?" Recalling her earlier wielding abilities back home, I wondered if Equestria's innate saturation empowered her further.
Twinkle nodded eagerly. "Oh absolutely - it's like back on Earth I was fizzling birthday sparklers, but here I have full access to magical fireworks!" Her little wings buzzed trying to emphasize the comparison. "Everything flows so much smoother and feels way more intuitive in my horn now."
She glanced almost shyly Twilight's way. "I'll never be Star Swirl like my big sister of course. But even little lights can shine pretty bright with enough study!"
Seeing Twilight's touched smile, I reached to scritch Twinkle affectionately behind the ears as best as I could with a hoof. "No doubts there, keep it up. This family is blessed with brilliant magical minds of all sizes!" Twinkle preened under the praise, settling back to finish her meal with smiles lingering all around.
Twilight leaned forward, sipping some after-dinner tea. "Twinkle mentioned you added bookmarks to your book, but I haven't heard word of you actually casting anything from them." She brought her hooves under her chin, supporting her head. "You seem like a curious sort. What's stopping you?"
"Ah, right... The human bookmarks." I was imagining the book, and those bookmarks with human drives in them. "Many of them felt... divorced, even when I was a human. I like this one." I flipped the learn section open. "I like learning things."
"Then take a look," gently goaded Twilight. "See if there's a spell in there you might want to try."
I was learning so much, there, in that whole new world. What I didn't know far outpaced what I did know, and that gap felt like it was barely changing. But the joy of trying meant something. I flipped through the book, gaze distant as I focused on that mental construct.
My inner gaze roamed curiously across the mental pages visually allegorizing my magical spell book, Twilight's gently eager encouragement still echoing. While the core "elemental" sections reflected intuitive pony affinities, these new bookmarks drew instead from psychology, human psychology - tapping drives and desires unique to the human condition I still partially dwelled within.
Most held little appeal currently, my earth pony body and Equestrian welcoming largely satisfying cravings. But the Learn section twinkled with promising potential given my still vast gaps understanding this world and its inhabitants. Perhaps some divination effect to rapidly acquire deeper cultural comprehension?
I stopped at an understated glyph depicting an eye with rays emitting, indicating revelation or flashes of insight. Did it grant temporary empathic attunements or enhanced channels processing external stimulus flows intuitively? Worth investigating!
Besides, I could see it at all. Most pages were muddled and blank. How could I say no?
Focusing my will, like grasping a tangible tome, I manifested the spell design glowing as an afterimage across my vision before blinking the lingering magical residue away. I looked expectantly between Twilight and Twinkle's own eager stares. "Well that one felt like it took cleanly enough! Here goes nothing..."
Uncertain what sensations might hit, I closed my eyes with a steadying breath. But all seemed much the same until a chorus of startled gasps snapped them open! To my shock Twilight and Spike both recoiled, wide eyes locked onto me with deep blushes overtaking their features that had just a moment ago been only cheerful curiosity!
My cheeks heated instantly with flustered embarrassment realizing the spell likely tapped into emotional auras or even private thoughts! But why such intense reactions from the mares? What indiscretions was this second sight revealing?!
Twinkle hopped onto the table. "What did you do? Your eyes glowed, then we glowed." She pointed to Twilight, then herself.
"I didn't glow." Spike shrugged. "Fine, just be that way."
Aw. "I wasn't trying to leave you out on purpose." I focused on that icon, the glowing eye, looking at Spike. A little more present than the first time, I could see the glow from within my eyes, which was like a flash, and Spike did glow along with it.
But nothing happened, besides the glow. "If you're all alright... I have no idea what what I just did."
All three of them shrugged. Dinner was done, so we scattered off to other projects.
I ended up in my room and slid my saddleback free. It made a sound like a lot of paper was in it, rustling as it hit the ground. "Hm?" I hadn't put that much paper in there, had I? I popped it open and reached inside, scooping out paper full of information. It wasn't friendship information at all.
It was clearly labeled sheets of what they had been thinking at that very moment.
I had read their minds, but in, maybe, the least practical way possible. It had gone onto paper. I had to dig out the paper and read it to learn anything. I glanced around quickly, still alone.
Good... Good... I should have torn up the papers into bits, but I stuffed them back in the bag for later review.
That might be... useful reading.
Author's Note
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