Pinkie Pie is an Eldritch God

by I Vicious I

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Horror, Adventure, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1565

Twilight has taken notice that Pinkie Pie has an extremely unusual set of abilities, and Twilight is determined to find out the source of Pinkie's Power. However, she might not like what she finds

Twilight has taken notice that Pinkie Pie has an extremely unusual set of abilities, and Twilight is determined to find out the source of Pinkie's Power. However, she might not like what she finds

Published 2023-11-23 16:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-11-23 16:50:00 UTC

Smile

Having escaped the hydra with her friends, Twilight could rest easy knowing that she didn't need to understand everything. Twilight would be fine without understanding the Pinkie sense, and the world would go on without issue. That was the lie she told her friends.

With more subtlety than her prior ventures of hiding in bushes and using binoculars from afar, Twilight secretly continued to study Pinkie, and the more that she learned, the more a sense of dread began to overtake her.

Twilight frowned as she wrote notes in her journal, sitting alone in the library. She should have gone to bed hours ago, but the Sirens of the urge to study and write were far more beautiful than those calling her from her bed. Not only does she have the ability to predict the future, but what is even more interesting is her incredible speed. She lacks wings or the magic needed to teleport, but she always reaches her destination seemingly instantly. Even rainbow dash, who may very well be the fastest pony in Equestria will always arrive after Pinkie to any destination. When working on Pinkie’s surprise birthday party, she was unable to evade Pinkie even at her top speed. It was fascinating that someone as competitive as Rainbow hadn't even noticed.

Pinkie pie had once slid up a slide in reverse, effectively ignoring gravity, and nobody but I had noticed. She's used her tail to fly, and her hair to burrow into the Earth, and nopony else so much as does a double take.

I've literally seen her explode! Twilight thought to herself. Twilight had seen Her body fell into dozens of pieces; while this would easily result in the death of anypony else, she just... Pulls herself back together, and she's good as new. Her body literally fell into pieces, strewn across the room. There was no bone, no organs, not even a drop of blood for Celestia’s sake!

What was most concerning was how she spoke to herself. She would say something out of place and then stare blankly in a direction at random as though she was waiting for a response. Maybe she was schizophrenic? She did have an episode where she became friends with a bag of flour, but now I'm wondering if that was an act, and if it's not an act, who or rather what is she talking to? Twilight shivered in the warm evening air.

“I think it's time I confronted her”, Twilight said aloud to herself. Maybe Twilight had imagined it, but in that moment, she could almost swear that she had heard somepony laughing quietly from somewhere within the empty Library.

Twilight woke up early the following morning, and despite going on little sleep, did her morning routine in record time, eager to confront Pinkie. She planned to go visit SugarCube Corner, but before she could even bother to get her things, there was a knock at the front door. It was early, too early for even Spike to be up. Twilight opened the front door to find Pinkie beaming with a huge Smile. "Hi Twilight!"

"Pinkie, what are you doing here?" She asked nervously, her eyes never leaving Pinkies face any more than her Smile left hers.

Pinkie turned her head slightly and gave Twilight a wink. "Oh Twilight, why be a big ol' silly? We both know the answer to that, and a riddle is no fun if you already know the answer."

Twilight took a couple steps backwards; Pinkie Pie matched her movements in turn as Pinkie walked towards her. "I... I..." Twilight’s heart raced, beating in her chest at 100 miles an hour. She paused, and took a deep breath, "what is it you want Pinkie?"

She laughed. "I just want to play with you Twilight, I love spending time with one of my best friends in the universe! Don't you want to spend time with your friend?" She looked at Twilight with the same focused stare one would imagine a cat gives a mouse. A cat who wants to play with its prey right before putting an end to it.

Twilight’s eyes watered up. “Are you going to hurt me Pinkie?” she asked, the desperation in her voice was all too clear.

This made pinkie stop dead in her tracks. She stared at Twilight, the Smile left her face, leaving a deep frown and a narrowing of her eyes. Her eyes became a solid shade of white and a deep and booming voice came from Pinkie’s mouth. “I would never hurt you Twilight, and I’m insulted that you would even suggest such a thing. You are my friend after all” Before Twilight could react to this new horror, Pinkie’s face snapped back to its normal gleeful look. Her regular voice emerged this time. “You wanted to ask me something Twilight? Go right ahead, what do you want to know?”

Twilight stared down at the ground, unsure of what exactly she should ask, or even if she should ask. Twilight looked up and met Pinkie’s gaze as she patiently waited for her to respond. “Well pinkie.” Twilight paused for a few seconds to think of a subtle way to ask, “How exactly do you have such spectacular powers?”

"The secret behind my power is that I'm an Eldritch God, Pinkie replied in a casual tone. Do you know why you were able to notice that something was wrong with me and nobody else was? Twilight shook her head "no"

Pinkie tapped her hoof on Twilights forehead." Because you aren’t just intelligent Twilight, you are the smartest pony period, and spoiler, you're going to be the most powerful pony one day too." Pinkie circled Twilight as she mused, “With your...” Pinkie giggled “...incredible intelligence, you were able to see past my ruses and mind games that I so easily play on the others. I would have made it impossible for you to figure it out, but that wouldn’t have been any fun.”

“So, I’m just entertainment for you because I’m smart enough to take notice that something is off with you?” Twilight asks in a hushed and slightly sad voice.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit Twilight. You’re just fun to be with no matter how smart you are. Just think of all the adventures you and all our friends go on.” Twilight nodded slowly in response. “I don’t care that you’re smart, after all, the smartest pony to me is barely more intelligent than the most intelligent insect compared to me”. Pinkie Smiled and giggled. "You might be an infinitesimally small spec to me and compared to me you're less than a grain of sand within the greatest dessert within our universe, but I like you. I find you and your tiny world to be fun. So, I'm going to keep playing with you here. Don't worry, I'll wipe your memory of this, and we'll keep being friends. This will be... the ninth time I've had to do this, and it won't be the last."

Twilight was stunned by such a revelation. "This isn't your real form, is it Pinkie? Can you at least show me what you look like?" Pinkie Pie Smiled impossibly wide; her face twisted as her lips widened further than should be physically possible. Causing Twilight to grimace at her stretched face.

"Oh Twilight, I can't do that, if you saw what I really look like your mind would melt and don't even get me started on what would happen to your soul. Then we get into the philosophical question if you're the same pony when I put you back together Mrs. Theseus’ Boat, and that's just no fun" Pinkie Pie chuckled at this idea, as though putting somepony back together were a game.

Twilight looked horrified. "Wait, the soul is rea..."

"Doesn't matter Twi" said Pinkie Pie wrapping herself around Twilight in a hug. "I'll just erase your recent memories, and we can go back to our usual fun adventures! Then you'll get curious again at some point and we'll just repeat the process. Forever and ever, we can play this fun game!"

Twilight frowned. "We can't exactly do it forever, I mean, Ponys generally only live to be 80 or so."

"Silly Twilight, you're making the same mistake all you lower beings do and assuming time as a linier construct, plus you’ll be immortal soon enough." Twilight looked baffled, her world and image of Pinkie was shattered. "You're going to become immortal soon, and no not by my hand silly Billy, you earn it, all by yourself, after that, we can be friends forever! Just think of all the parties we can have!"

Twilight looked at Pinkie nervously. "If you've erased my memory of this many times before, and you're just going to do that again, why are you bothering to tell me"?

Pinkie Pie looked down at Twilight as though she was deep in thought. She then began to slowly turn her head towards an impossible direction, a place where x, y and z would never meet. She looked through the silvery veil, past the infinite void and across the boundless static of the universe. Finally, her eyes found what she was searching for, something nopony could or should ever see. Pinkie Pie looked directly at you, the reader. "Just in case anyone is listening.” she replied with a Smile.