The badlands aren’t for everybody. Days are hot. Nights are cold. Vegetation is sparse. Cellphone coverage? Wi-Fi? Starbucks? Not a chance. There’s a reason they’re not called the goodlands, after all.
But there’s a pony. Not a pack animal, but an Equestrian. She’s here as part of a student exchange program. Petunia Paleo is enthusiastic, a trait that the rest of the expedition finds either incredibly endearing… or incredibly annoying. There’s not much middle ground. She talks about dinosaurs nonstop. While others in the expedition occasionally wear dinosaur themed t-shirts, she insists on wearing dinosaur costumes. Even in the sweltering heat.
Despite starting in a proverbial hole, the filly has proven herself indispensable to the team. She made the first discovery of the expedition, before camp had even been fully set up. By the end of the day she’d unearthed a mostly complete Ceratosaurus nasicornus. It was the kind of find that would normally take a team weeks to remove from the ground.
It didn’t stop on day two. Right after waking up she found an Apatosaurus louisae. Half the team has been working on excavating the massive sauropod in the two weeks since. It’s less complete than the theropod, but substantially more massive. With the young mare on a hot streak, the professor insisted she continue scouting finds.
And for the last month, that’s exactly what she’s done. While the rest of your team have found teeth and partial skeletons, she has a knack for finding the best specimens. There’s been some grumbling about Equestrian earth pony magic from jealous expedition members.
There’s been even more grumbling about her academics, or rather the lack thereof. Petunia doesn’t have to write term papers about her experience. When she returns to Equestria she won’t spend months painstakingly working on a thesis. All she’s expected to do is send periodic ‘friendship reports’ to her instructors. On a weekly basis, if you remember correctly. Her instructors are less concerned with her scientific research and discoveries than they are about her social life.
Which is why she’s working with you. Your objective is to earn your degree in paleontology. Her objective is much simpler: to befriend you. She’s slowly won over most of the expedition, even those who’d been grumbling about her the loudest. Now it’s your turn.
You walk off into the scrubland in a random direction. At first she’s content to follow you like a wayward puppy, but then she gallops ahead. She stops and starts digging furiously.
Really, she seems happy just to dig holes. Almost as if unearthing fossils is a bonus, or a justification to keep digging holes. She’s good at it – really good at it. There have been previous expeditions where enthusiastic would-be paleontologists enthusiastically dug holes but couldn’t tell the difference between ‘dirt’ and ‘fossils’, but Petunia’s as careful as can be. For someone who lacks opposable digits, she’s even really good at chipping rock away from bones. Her hooves almost seem designed for the task, doing the work faster than a chisel.
You have no doubt at all that she’s found something. Everywhere she goes she finds fossils, and it’s making you look bad. You wonder what it’ll be this time. A Stegosaurus? Dryosaurus? You mentally review all the species known from the Morrison Formation, and she’s already discovered specimens of most of them. Not just dinosaurs – she’s uncovered turtles, mollusks, and even found fossil conifers.
As more of the skeleton is unearthed you quickly eliminate potential species. Once she’s got it partially excavated you start wondering if she’s found a new genus entirely. You excitedly grab a brush and start whisking sediment away from the rock-encased fossil. It quickly becomes apparent that your preliminary guess is correct – this is a dinosaur completely unknown to science. It’s an unexpected find considering that this bone bed has been extensively studied for over a century.
“I think this is something nobody’s ever seen before.”
“Now what?” She looks at you expectantly, her tail wagging.
[CHOICE]
She found it, she should get the credit for it. (hero)
She found it, but you really need that credit. Let’s make a deal! (chaos)
Manipulate her into giving you the find. (villain)
“Well, formally describing a new species is a lot of work.”
“Oh.” She looks at the ground in shame. “I don’t know a lot about all the science parts. I just think dinosaurs are cool and I have a special talent for finding fossils.”
“It just so happens that describing a new species would make for a great thesis. I’ll even give you credit as the original discoverer. How’d you like this to be Petuniasaurus paleous or something similar?”
“Oh!” She beams. “I’d like to have a dinosaur named after me. That would be sooooo cool!”
“Just leave everything to me.”
Author's Note
Story notes: https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/1034187/story-notes-dig-it
“You’ve already found a bunch of specimens on this expedition and I haven’t unearthed anything of note. A real friend would let me take credit for this.”
She squeals excitedly. “We’re friends? You’re the last person on the expedition I need to befriend to get my friendship degree!”
“Sure, if you give me credit for that fossil, I’ll be your best friend.” You're lying through your teeth, but she believes you.
“Yay! It’s all yours!”
You grin. As easy as taking fossils from a filly.
Author's Note
Story notes: https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/1034187/story-notes-dig-it
“You go tell the professor about this. I’ll help you formally describe this, and that should be sufficient.”
“Sufficient for what?” she asks.
You look at the ground. “I was really hoping to make an exciting find out here this year. Something I could call my own and write my thesis on.”
“Is that all? Hmn…” She paces around the area for a few minutes, apparently lost in thought. “A-ha!” She draws an ‘X’ in the dirt. “Dig here. Go about two feet down and I think you’ll like what you find. Nothing’s been exposed to the surface so there’s no erosion at all.”
“Thank you!”
“That’s what friends are for.”
Author's Note
Story notes: https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/1034187/story-notes-dig-it
