Harem Alliance

Celestia sat proudly on her throne, reading the news. She had expected that paying off the zebras to stop would result in them backing off, but happily, they did one better. They completely flipped their allegiance, going after the gryphons that had sent them after Equestria in the first place. Granted, the gryphons still had more money, and could easily flip it back, but their greed had been their downfall, and once the first manor had been stormed, the entire coalition dissolved. The two smartest ones packed up and left, and were now in hiding, but the rest had been left penniless, at best, while others went out with a bang, followed by a whimper.

The zebras had not kept the wealth plundered from the gryphons. Apparently, as Celestia had not drafted a new contract, but just bought out the old one and turned it around, there was an executive order to bring anything of value back to the employer, so Equestria's coffers were overflowing, now. Celestia could easily reimburse all of her citizens for the tasks the zebras requested of them, and there was even enough left over for funerary services for the soldiers departed.

Hundreds of coupons had already gone out, and were being returned to her with smiling faces. Everypony was happy. Not only was there peace throughout Equestria, but unemployment had taken a sharp drop, there were reports of late bloomers finding their cutie marks after years of no success as adults, and best of all, she hadn't heard tell of a violent death since the ceasefire. This had worked out better than she could have imagined.

As she saw her sister on her way to bed, she ran over. "Lunie, I owe you an apology. I never should have doubted that your plan would work."

"Think nothing of it, dear sister," smiled Luna breathily. The bags under her eyes showed her tiredness, and a bit of egg on her face denoted that she'd fallen asleep momentarily on top of her breakfast. "Do recall that, despite being significantly less popular with the population, we, too, desire their safety and happiness. We desire the good health of all of our little ponies."

"Right. I do, too. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry I said your plan was silly and wouldn't work."

"You said no such thing."

"Well, I certainly thought so. And for having so little faith in you, I owe you an apology. What can I do to make this right?"

"Waffles," answered Luna. "I want waffles, not pancakes. Send for a repairpony to fix the waffle iron."

"Done."

"We are going to bed, now. Good day, dear sister."

Celestia nodded. "Sleep well, Lunie."

As Luna walked off, Celestia returned to the main hall, where a soldier was waiting impatiently for her. "Princess! We have an emergency situation!"

Celestia sat down. "Go on, then."

"Ma'am. The zebras have discovered the brothels."

Celestia waited for a moment, then waved her hoof. "And?"

"The standard cost of brothel activity has remained unchanged!"

"Yes, I had that in place so that they could make use of our services."

"Well, they are!"

"Good. What's the emergency?"

"They can do this to any Equestrian citizen of their choice!"

Celestia shook her head. "All underage ponies are exempt from this, as are a few other groups. In fact, you can't do that when there are children present, anyway. Indecent exposure where minors are present is expressly forbidden. They can't just grab a random pony off the street and start making love to them then and there."

"But they can take ponies to their hotel rooms, or demand to be let into their houses!"

Celestia's face turned white. The guard didn't notice that, but he did spot her jaw dropping. "Oh, no..."

"Yes! That's why I'm telling you, it's an emergency situation!"

Celestia summoned a quill and ink, writing a quick letter and sending it off. She took a deep breath. "I have alerted General Zachar that we need to talk. He was very reasonable when last we spoke; perhaps he'll be reasonable this time, as well."

As if in answer to her statement, a letter suddenly popped into existence in front of her, bearing the general's seal.

"See? I knew he'd be reasonable. We're going to talk about this right away."

She opened the letter and quickly read through it. It was bad news. That is to say, it was also good news, but mostly bad news.

"He had already returned home," explained Celestia. "He's currently overseeing a problem with an attack on their water supply, but he should be here next week."

"Next week?! We can't wait that long!"

"We have to!" shouted Celestia back. "The coupons are legally binding contracts, and all disputes about the coupon are to be heard in the royal court of Canterlot, right here in this room. I can't add an addendum to the coupon forbidding this behaviour until the dispute is heard and agreed to, and we can't do that until he arrives." She sighed and rubbed her forehead. "We just have to make sure that this little... loophole... doesn't grow into a massive issue in that time. How many perpetrators have we encountered?"

"Twelve, here in Canterlot."

"That's not so bad."

"Eighty-five in Manehattan."

Celestia swallowed. "That's not good..."

"And over six hundred across the whole of Equestria."

Celestia dropped her head into her hooves. "That's enough for now. I need time to think. Please, keep me informed twice daily if those numbers change. Dawn and dusk, you hear me?"

"Loud and clear, your highness," he saluted. "If that's all, I'm going to return to my patrols."

As he walked away, Celestia couldn't help but notice his slight limp. As his tail swayed to match his steps, she managed to catch a glimpse of some white fluid caught in some of the mussed fibres. He wasn't just a guard reporting the numbers. He was a victim.

"Actually, there is something I need from you."

He turned around. "Yes, Ma'am?"

"Take the next few hours off. Take a shower, see the royal physician, take a nap. Your duties resume at five this evening. That's an order."

The guard saluted once more. "Yes, Ma'am."

As he limped off, his head a bit lower and flushed for being found out, Celestia sat and thought. She had to come up with something. There had to be a way to alter the contract to disallow prostitution. It was a legal practice, and perfectly safe, if regulated, but to have everypony on the street open to that field and not by choice would not only make the practice unregulated, but also endanger her citizens. That was not a good thing.