Confined With a Goddess

Perhaps it wasn't so bad, shacking up with Celestia. She may have had a giant cock, but she was warm, her hands were soft, and she didn't mind that Jake's hands were pressing against her boobs. It wasn't perfect, but it was obviously better than anything he'd ever had before.

He'd grown up in a time where porn was a common thing. Girls with perfect bodies, cinematographers with perfect angles, the best makeup, lighting, well-written scenarios. He'd wanted to deliver pizzas since he was twelve because porn had promised that he'd have his dick sucked by hot women all the time. He changed his mind at thirteen, though, when he figured out that it was all staged.

As he reached down and rubbed her tip, however, he still couldn't find any enjoyment in it. He wasn't gay. He wasn't even bi. He wished she had a pussy he could rub, instead.

Suddenly, a loud boom outside caught his attention. Celestia's, too. They scrambled to their feet and scurried out the door, not even bothering with their clothes.

Another boom rang out as a second box burst into existence, right next to the first. Celestia held Jake's shoulder, sitting him down on the steps as they waited. Ten minutes, and no third box. Just two.

With Celestia by his side, Jake approached the boxes. Celestia even gave him a crowbar, with which he could open them. She'd have opened them, herself, but they had Jake's name on them... almost.

"For "Jack," huh?" chuckled Celestia. "I suppose that's evidence. Luna knows you're here, and that you're fraternising with me."

"I'm guessing these are from her?" asked Jake, prying one open. Inside the wooden box were two smaller boxes, one cardboard, one wooden. He pulled out the cardboard one, first.

"I mean, it's either her or the guard assigned to watch us. And if the guard assigned to watch us is doing this without her permission, he's going to suffer for it. Treason's a pretty nasty charge."

"Well, let's see if his effort was worth it."

Jake pulled open the cardboard box and found that it was full of clothes. Mostly pink, but there were a few things that weren't.

Avoiding the pink, he pulled out a black tee. It was way too big for him, and had a print of a zombie pony with white hair with strings coming from its fingers that controlled a puppet of a devil with a pitchfork, which had strings coming from its fingers that controlled an even smaller puppet of the zombie, dancing for a crowd of blackened silhouettes in a sea of yellow fire that reflected in the giant zombie's eyes.

"That's probably mine," said Celestia, grabbing it from him and slipping it on. It fit perfectly.

The next thing he pulled out was some lacey red lingerie. This was definitely not in Celestia's size, as the bra was tiny, and her tits were huge.

"Ooooh!" clapped Celestia. "Put it on! You'd look so cute in that!"

Jake put it off to the side, ignoring her plea. The next shirt, which was in his size, was blue. It had an arrow pointing to the collar, and the words "Until It Snaps" written in cursive. Then a pink button-up with the words "blowjob princess" written on the back, then a black tee that said "Daddy's Little Napkin," and had a bunch of used tissues as a picture.

"Is there anything in here that doesn't paint me as being a slut?" asked Jake, tossing aside another shirt that said "Cum Guzzler."

"Looks like she has you pegged," snorted Celestia.

That snort became a full-on raucous laughter as Jake picked up a pair of booty shorts that had the words "Peg Me" printed on the arse. "I'm starting to not like your sister."

Celestia was rolling on the ground now, unable to contain herself. She couldn't answer for the tears streaming down her face as she roared in laughter.

"Here. This will do just fine." Jake held up a shirt that was pretty tame. It was blue with white buttons, and all it said on the back was "#LostMyKeys." He put it on, and it actually fit. "This is fine. I can rock this. At least there's no sexual connotations here. I'm okay being portrayed as forgetful." He found a wide-brimmed hat, too, with a little unicorn horn on it like Celestia's. Underneath, it said "#ThisIsNotMyHorn." "Look, I'm a unicorn!"

Celestia clutched her stomach. She couldn't take much more of this.

Jake slipped into a pair of blue satin panties, and a pair of shorts that had a regular zipper in the front, and a longer one in the back. Out of everything that was sent, this seemed to be the least offensive to him. The rest, he just kind of put back in the box. He understood the joke; Luna thought he was a girl because of his tiny dick. At only twenty centimetres, who could blame her? Especially compared to Celestia. That made him only good for fluffing bigger, more worthy dicks. Funny joke.

He opened the other boxes, and he found something far more agreeable; potted plants. All of them had tags listing what they were, with pictures showing what they looked like. Cucumbers, peppers, tomatoes, spinach, cabbage, radishes, potatoes and corn were there, but so were some other things. There was an eggplant, but it was listed as an "aubergine" for some reason, and even more strange, there was a plant that just said "Cheeseburger." It had a picture of a cheeseburger on it, too.

"You know, cheeseburgers don't grow on trees..."

Celestia had recovered just enough to look up from the ground and catch her breath. "I think that's a vining plant."

"They don't grow on vines, either. Well, I guess the tomatoes and pickles do..."

"Pickles don't grow on vines. The cucumbers do, and then they're pickled."

"Yeah, whatever. And jalapeños, if they have them. But what makes a cheeseburger is the cheese, the patty, and the bun. You can't grow the cheese or patty from any plant."

Celestia took a deep breath. "Yes, well... We'll plant them and see what happens. In the meantime..." she picked up the cardboard box and smirked. "You have some clothes to try on."