Author's Note

I encourage you to tell me what you think in the comments so I can get better! Especialy if you didnt like it. Thanks

Better to turn back now

I can’t do this

“Stop being so cowardsome! I can sense it oozing from you! You’re doing it! Quit acting like a foal and get into these scouts!” The spirit whispered from a newspaper I had tucked into my chest pocket.

I stood in the recruitment office, nervous and cold. It was a repurposed Cookhouse, with all the tables and chairs moved away from the centre of the room. Before me, on the muddy from the melted snow floorboards stood the recruiter’s desk, at wich sat a rusty-brown coated, silver maned older looking unicorn stallion.

My hooves ached a little, the warmth of the room made my legs finally start warming up, and I felt the almost-burning hot blood coursing through them.

I should get better hoof warmers If I'm going to do this.

“Undress.” The Recruiting pony ordered from behind a desk. ” And answer my questions as you do so, we don’t have a lot of time,” He ordered.

With quick, almost frantic and anxious movements, I bent down and bit the zipper on the side of my winter coat. Then I took the sweater off, and then my shirt, all as the rough-looking, short trimmed middle age pony crumpled some paper with his orange magic, and proceeded to watch me with his unnerving observant look.

“Name.” He asked as he put glasses on his nose, which immediately made him seem less intimidating.

I took a shallow breath before answering, “Rocky Chase”

That made him look closer at me for a moment. Watching. He was comparing me to Diamond, I was sure of it, and I hated that. My form was not as good as hers, and I was sure he took note of just that. I didn’t want to look at him. I lowered my gaze and looked at the floor.

in everything he could compare me to her, I would perform worse. I knew that, and that made me feel just… bad.

After a stretched moment, I heard his magic grab his pen out of the quill, and he began scribbling something. After a few seconds he resumed “Occupation?”

I sighed with relief, still I didn’t look him in the eyes though. The dirty floorboards were interesting enough.

“Coal miner” I replied meekly.

“Hey, relax. I don’t bite.” He said firmly while looking up from his desk, more like it was an order instead of a reassurance. “Age.”

“T-twenty,”-- I cleared my throat, “ Twenty one”

“Legs too” He nodded downwards. I immediately began pulled everything off my fur. I took off my boots, furry hoof warmers, and the Calesons - a tight-like underwear for stallions.

“Any useful skills for going out there? Acquaintance of firearms? Navigation skills? Can you hunt? Use a Telegraph, or anything else?”

“No.” I replied lamely, and seeing a frown on his face that followed, made me feel even worse, I started feeling sick “I-I’ll just go.” I said as I started quickly picking up my clothes from the floor.

I’m just going to become a laughing stock for everybody. This was a shit idea from the beginning.

“Fine, better to turn back now than out there” He said indifferently, and put his pen back into the quill, and levitated the paper into his desk.

I quickly swooped my clothes with my right hoof, and hopped out of the room on three legs. The recruiter pony didn’t say a word, I was sure he was looking at me disappointed, or maybe he expected that from the beginning, and was indifferent about it.

I didn’t turn back to make sure, I just quickly limped naked outside into the still white from the night's snowfall morning streets.

The next pony in line, seeing me – a naked pony scurry outside, opened his eyes wide and swallowed hard.

Behind me the recruiter’s voice rang again.

“Next!”

“New Law! A new law has passed–” we passed an announcer’s voice while I was hastily climbing a small wooden bridge over the giant pipes that ran along the wide and empty street. Usually at this hour, ponies would gather in a massive column that would be heading to their workplaces, but now I only saw a few, some of them dragging their belongings on sledges behind them, running to the nearby cities probably. If I remember correctly, the nearest one was at least a few days of travel away.

Risky, very risky. Only the scouts were properly trained to take on such a long journey completely blind, and come back unharmed.

It was snowing, as always. The completely clouded bluish sky gave everything a dark tint of the same colour. And as usual, the wind was making its presence known, making every uncovered centimetre of my face pinch from the cold. After crossing the pipes, I turned, and with my head down, I left the main street of this section of the city entering a tight, barely two pony wide transverse alley between some storage buildings, and headed towards the mine. At least I had a cover from the wind now.

"Just now you said you were going!" The spirit pretentiously pressed, still talking from the newspaper on my chest.

I didn’t respond. He was right and I felt stupid for that, so I only looked around nervously, searching for something to assist me in thinking of a believable excuse. But everything I found were posters of my incredible and ever brave sister, looking at me with a disdainful smile.

‘Be the City’s hero!’

With a quick sweep of my hoof, I ripped them off the wall while trying to not look her in the eyes.

“There’s nothing to be scared of! You’d rather stay a disappointment for your family?!”

“Shut up! I’m… You know how much training do the scout go through?! They learn to navigate from the stars, to survive in harsh environment, to hunt, they learn to shoot, they learn about the creatures of the frostland, they learn to ski, and a lot of other stuff! It takes years to train a scout! I… I would be just a laughing stock! Everypony would see! My sister too!”

“Well, other ponies don’t know anything about being a scout either, and they still go.”

“Well… I’m… I'm a coward! A disappointment to everypony, because fate decided not to give me any talents, and poured everything into my sister instead! So leave me alone, I’m going to work!” Yeah! That's a good excuse! “I can’t just leave my job, somebody has to dig the coal.” I said firmly

“Bull~shitttt~” The spirit sang, “You’re pathetic.” He said with this… infuriating sense of superiority. The tone that I hated so sincerely ever since hearing it for the first time. It made my insides boil, and while baring my teeth, and barely stopping myself from shouting for him to shut the fuck up, I bit the newspaper he was on from my chest pocket, threw it on the ground with all the strength and speed I had, and with a quick step I left into an alley that led into the mine that was right around the corner.

The Mines were placed on the outskirts of the city, right at the wall of the massive crevice in which the city was built to protect it from the powerful surface winds. I approached the grim steel gate next to a gigantic slowly spinning steel wheel that squeaked, and buzzed so low that you could feel the ground vibrate. There were some papers stapled on the door, but I didn't pay them any attention. I didn’t want to think about the generator business.

Entering the main hall, I was hit by the noise of the steam machine powering the wheel on the outside, and by how cold it was inside! Despite being in a full winter coat and having at least two layers beneath I shivered as I walked in passing two guards that stood by the door. They were talking cheerfully to each other about being lucky to be here.

I approached the pony by the check-in desk. Dressed in his full winter gear sat Firm Keep, an old unicord listing ponies who entered.

I’ll just go to work. Just go to work and hope it all works out fine. I’ll be a… I’ll stay what I was but, at least I won't humiliate myself any more.

“Rocky… Chase…” He mumbled to himself in his monotone voice while he took his sweet time writing my name on the list as the structural metalwork groaned lowly from the weight placed on it by the wheel. “Good. At least you’ve come, are you ready?”

What kind of question is that?

“Ready for what?” I said as I looked around the almost empty building, only one pony other than us was here, sitting, almost curled into a ball by the building’s wall in the corner and clutching his hooves close to his body while groaning. His tools, just like the tools of everybody that should be working here at this moment, pickaxes and shovels lay scattered on the dirty, almost black wooden floor “Where’s everypony? And what happened to him?” I asked, nodding towards the groaning pony.

Firm kept sighed “ Emergency shift is back. You’ve got twenty four hours today. And the heating’s off until they turn on the generator later today” He said, a bit extinguished.

“Twenty four?! What the…!? That's nuts!” I said as I stepped back.

“Labour obligation is back too, no leaving early or you’re gonna have massive problems. That also applies to not showing for the shift.” He said informatively and monotony like a machine.

I felt a wave of shock stop me in place. The images of overworked ponies in the hospital from years ago flashed before my eyes. Their filthiness contrasted with the clean white hospital sheets. Their teeth, broken and bleeding from holding their tools, tired eyes, and their awful smell of sweat, with slight desperate smiles on their faces, enjoying the break they got to spend in the warmth of hospital beds. All from working for so long. And it wasn’t over back then. Before The Great Storm, twenty four hour shifts were announced once every three days regularly.

What the… Fuck. I’m not gonna do twenty four!

“Calm down! It’s just one time, until they patch up the generator.” Firm Keep said, noticing the worry on my face with his monotone, yet now alarmed voice.

I don’t believe him. they’ll let us ‘rest’ for two days and then they will do that again. That’s how it was before!

“And you won’t be alone, the guards will drag whoever did not show up, but many have volunteered for the expeditions.”

I stood in place for a moment, and then after a deep breath. A cold huff of air coming from the mine shafts pierced through my clothing, and made me shiver. And I was supposed to go there! I’ll get my hooves frostbitten for sure!

I looked again at the pony clutching his hooves at the wall near the exit. No way. I turned left, and tried to dash for the exit, only to bump headfirst into the guards that suddenly appeared on my way.

“I am not working myself until I freeze my hooves off!” I shouted as I started pushing and struggling, trying to force my way past them. There being two of them, they overpowered me, and with quite a bit of effort, they pushed me back away from the door. Then one of them, a green earth pony with a yellow mane, a bit shorter and slimmer in posture than me, bit and pulled out a wooden baton the length of my foreleg from its holster on his chest.

“Get to work, you’re free to go when your fucking shift ends!” His unicorn friend shouted.

I stood next to the desk, staring at them while breathing heavily. Damn it!

“Rock calm down!” Firm Keep shouted, standing with his front legs on the desk. “Don’t do anything stupid!”

No, no! I’m!... I chaotically looked around the crude building for something to help me. Its powerful steel skeleton filled with wood and insulation, and then on the floor and the tools laying on it.

Tools!

Without a long thought, I jumped for the nearest one, and bit hard the dirty pickaxe by its handle. Seeing that the guards launched at me, but stopped as soon as I had it in my mouth.

“Put that down!” Shouted the bigger guard while levitating his baton using his yellow magic.

I looked at them, the two dangerous ponies in guard uniforms, the batons they wielded, ready to beat me into obedience, and their careful eyes watching my every move.

I can’t beat two guards using a pickaxe.

Yeah, you can’t. Just give up. I’m sure your sister could probably manage but oh well, you aren’t her, are you. I heard the Spirit’s mocking tone

Shut the fuck up! Ah! My legs tensed, and I wanted to kick him on his face so hard. I bit the pickaxe harder, and the wood made a soft crack from my teeth digging into it.

He’s provoking meee~ I sang in my mind. I won’t let that work, but damn it sure made me angry.

With a painful resignation, I let go of my weapon, letting it clatter deafly against the floorboards, followed by an echo.

I sighed. At least I didn't do anything stupid yet.

To say the dark tunnels of the mine were cold, would be a massive understatement.

They were absolutely freezing! Being dug into the equally cold, if not even colder, frozen over ground, and the generator off, there was absolutely nothing except my clothes and body heat to combat it.

I blindly swung the pickaxe, and chipped some of the coal off the wall. It was so dark I barely saw anything here. Usually the lamps were hung in regular intervals, but there was nopony to hang another one here, and I was already far past the point of where the next one should be. Same applied to extending the rails for the cart.

This shit is inequine! My nose and cheeks pinched, my hooves hardly felt anymore so I kept stumbling over the coal lying on the ground, and the idiot with the cart still hadn't returned! I’d happily just throw this pickaxe away and tell these guard pricks what I think of them.

If they didn’t beat the shit out of me as soon as I’d show up on the elevator up there….

But I won’t be the biggest softie to resign from the work first.

Without waiting for it to fall on the ground, I kept swinging. There was nobody to pick it up and put it into a cart. Not even the cart was here. The pony who pulled it was already here when I came here. Firm Keep said he came here just half an hour before me. He would shuttle between the lift and the tunnel non-stop to keep his hooves from freezing, even when it was empty.

I had to wait for him to come back again. But working was the only way I could stay tolerably warm, so I just walked on the coal that was piling before me, and kept swinging the pickaxe.

“Oy! Let’s fucking– stop! What are ya… what are ya doing?!” I heard a tired and weak voice from behind. Turning around, I trotted in place to warm myself up while waiting for my only shift companion to drag himself and the cart through the barely lit tight black corridor.
He was a cart pulling pony. His clothes so black from coal that if it weren't for the lighter white fur on his face, and the yellow light from the bulbs behind him that allowed me to see his black silhouette, I would have had a hard time spotting him.

“Waff?!” I mumbled loudly through the pickaxe in my mouth. I tried to spit it out before, but my lips got frozen to it, so It just stayed like that.

“Look!” He nodded towards where the last lamp hung on the wall of the tunnel. I just shrugged and murmured something.under my nose. “Don’t ya fuckin dare mine any further! There's nopony to build another roof support!”

Well what else am I supposed to do?! I don’t plan on freezing to death.

I tried to say that as clearly as I could through the pickaxe, but only a series of grunts and intelligible mutters was what left my lips.

“Listen, I just fucking–” he breathed heavily for a moment, “ Can’t anymore. It’s too cold, I’m– Come on, drop this shit and let’s go.” he said, and with sluggish movements, he unbuckled himself from the small wagon.

He’s done already? Hah! I’m not the worst oneeee~

With a satisfied shrug, I nodded my head to him, turned around and continued swinging the pickaxe blindly in pitch darkness, lit only by the lightbulb hanging on a wall a few metres behind me. I even increased the tempo. Just for show.

“And yer gonna keep working like this?! Are you– fucking off your rocker!?” He rasped from behind.

I just muttered indifferently. Yeah I wanted to go too, sure, I had no idea how much longer I could stand and didn’t feel my hooves up to my knees anymore, but not yet. I was savouring the moment.

“F-fuck you. Freeze to death if you want.” He muttered, and I began hearing his hooves clatter against the wooden boards on the floor we used as a walkway. Between my occasional pickaxe clatter against the wall, I heard his hoofsteps getting further and further, until suddenly.

A loud thud made me turn around.

He lay there on the boards right next to the cart.

“Ephh!” I mumbled loudly.

He didn’t move.

With slow and stiff steps I approached him. My legs were almost completely numb, but still, a feeling of discomfort was there all the time. I guess that meant they didn’t get frostbitten yet, but fuck, just now I noticed how close i might be to that. I poked him with my pick, no reaction.

I opened my eyes wide, and a feeling of sickness filled my stomach. I began furiously licking my lips, hoping to free my mouth from the Pick they were fused to while also hyperventilating.

Fuck! Damn it! He already passed out?! Oh Celestia– He came here– He was here just– Just half an hour before–

I stood there breathing heavily watching him lying on the ground.

What do I do what do i do what do i do. I’d walk around in circles but I moving my were numb.

I have to run to the lift for help!

Or, no! I’ll take him there myself. That’s– That’s what–

I need to– I bent my head to the wooden walkway, and placed my front right hoof on the pick, and began tugging. As I tugged, i felt my lips painfully break off from the handle. Stopping for a moment, i took a series of short breaths, and with a strong tug and a loud groan, I broke my face off the tool. It clattered deafly on the floorboards, which echoed through the corridors of the mine and returned twice.

“Fuckin owww!, ow!” I groaned again while holding my right forearm to my lips, “Heeelp!” I shouted, and then licked my lips right after. Blood. Did I – I didn’t rip my lips off my face did I ?!

“Heelp!” I shouted louder, but only my echo responded, “Fuck!” I cursed while my voice broke.

I took a stiff step towards my shift companion, and tried to pull him upright, but as I grabbed him and tried to pull him up, my legs gave out.

I Can’t do shit! Wendigo fuck my ass we’re gonna freeze here!

“Think!” I heard the spirit say further from the corridor. It was his distorted shadow cast on a wall opposite of the lights talking to me.

“Fucking help me!” I began looking around frantically,

“What would Diamond do?!” He asked in a raised tone.

“I don’t fucking know!” I shouted.

I need to get him to the lift so they can call the doctor.

I bit my companion's clothes on his back, and began dragging him towards the lift. I didn’t even know his name. It was terribly slow. The more I worked my legs the more they began to hurt. The effort did warm me a bit, I felt my torso getting comfortably warm but even if that saved me from passing out I had no idea if it would help my legs, I don’t want to have them amputated!

I kept pulling for around ten minutes, gasping, groaning, taking breaks. We moved by ten-twenty metres I think? Hundreds more to go, fucking great!

It’s not going to work, it’s not going to work!

What would Diamond do? She woud– Teleport with him to the surface!
Ah she’s a fucking unicorn! I don’t have a magical horn! Why can’t I have a magical horn like her!? Fuck my life!

I began looking around frantically for something that would help me, but there was nothing! Wooden floorboards, lightbulbs on a wall, wooden roof supports every couple metres, and the… the cart!

I stiffly hobbled back to the cart, walked around, and pushed it with my head until it was level with the stallion, and threw it onto its side off the rails. Maybe i can tuck him in there and get him to lift like that.

But to my horror, the tunnels were so tight, that with the cart on its side like that, I could barely squeeze a hoof between the cart and the wall, not talking about a whole pony!

I sat my rump on the boards lying loosely on the right side of the rails. Feeling the sharp stinging pain on the tips of my hooves getting stronger, I covered my face with them while my rapid breathing turned into an irregular spasms that preceded crying. I could barely feel the hooves on my face too.

I can’t! I can’t save him! Damn it! Diamond would have done that! She’d- She’d figure something out! Why can’t I be as smart as her!? I felt my eyes sting, and tears welled up in my eyes. Great and now i’m crying like a foal. I bent my neck and wiped my eyes at my right foreleg. Every leg movement was really uncomfortable.

She wouldn’t cry, fuck!

“Get up! You’ll freeze if you stay.” I saw the spirit’s shadow talk to me form the wall that I sat by.

“That’s what I get for trying to be like her I guess.” I got a pony killed, and will probably freeze here myself. I brought this onto my self.

“But you can be like her! All you need to do is not give up and you’ll already be like her! You won’t just change into her after one night! Baby steps! You need to warm him up! How’d you go about that?” the shadow asked with a patient, parent like voice, standing on his rear legs and arms crossed.

“I don’t fucking know, I’m just a stupid coal miner!”

“Agh,” the shadow voiced a grunt of irritation, “Then stay here and freeze to death! You’ll definitely be like Diamond then, sitting on your ass and crying about yourself!” he added in a completely different, indifferent but mocking tone.

Fuck you! I stood up to break the light, but he was gone. The asshole was right though. That would be the most pathetic death… ever. No, not like that.

I took a couple deep breaths, and got to thinning. Warm us up… Warm us up…

I winced with every wobbly and painful step towards the other wall with lightbulbs hung on it. Maybe they… I put my nose up to one of them, and a very painful burning sensation made me bounce back almost right away. Ow! Ow! Good. okay. It’s hot.

All I know about bulbs is that the wire inside gets so hot that it glows. Maybe it’s hot enough to…

I took my eared cap off my head, broke the light bulb, and stuck a piece of it inside. Within seconds it caught fire. Yes! Fire! I threw it on the ground next to my unconscious companion and watched it burn. The heat i could only feel on my nose, but oh it was the best feeling in the whole Equestria right now. As one third of the cap burned completely after a few seconds, i got to a horrifying realisation. I need something to keep the fire burning!

I quickly jumped in and got to ripping the wooden boards off the floor they were frozen to, and supporting them on the cart, I put them over my now half burned hat.

Shit! Please catch the fire please catch the fire. I mumbled to myself as I held my head on the cold ground, watching the boards from underneath.

The rose, licking the boards from below, charring them black. It grew and grew, even peeking shily from above the cracks between the boards, while making them sizzle from the heat and evaporating water. Then it grew smaller and smaller, not tall enough to even touch the boards anymore, and then died in a sudden puff of white smoke.

I felt like crying again. My hooves hurt so bad now, that I barely sat my rump on the ground again. And then I started weeping.

The fuck was I thinking. No, I can't do shit. I take any more clothes off and I’ll freeze in a moment.

Fuck this. All of it. I can't–

…

One last try.

The fuck do I have to loose, right? I doubt I can get to the lift anyway.

Sluggishly, I unwrapped my scarf from around my neck. Feeling a shiver when the cold air got in contact with my still quite warm fur on my neck, and stuck it into the broken lightbulb. When it lit up, i quickly placed in under the boards again, and with my faced hugged to the ground, i watched the fire shily strolling on the top of the scarf, going from one end to another, then i watched it grow, taller and taller, shining its yellow light on the boards above, and then rising tall enough to lick them from the bottom. I put a couple lumps of coal on the top of the fire boards. It lay everywhere so why not? I doubt it will catch but, in case it does, the fire will have something to nibble on for longer.

My hooves hurt so much, and now my ears too. All from the cold. I don’t think I could even get up right now. I just curled into a ball on the ground.

I didn’t want to look at the fire. I didn’t want to see it die. It would just hurt too much.

I just closed my eyes and… Felt bad. Now they’ll find our bodies like that. Somehow it feels more pathetic. I failed, as usual. As always. Mom will be disappointed as always. And Diamond… Whatever bad things she thinks of me, I’m only probably confirming them right now.

Of course I couldn’t do it. I should have ran for help when I had the chance.

I…did it? I looked around room.

Hospital. And I was in bed. The cart hauling pony was here too! He sat on his bed next to me, a light cream coloured stallion, with a short trimmed black mane. Eating warm soup.

One of his rear legs was bandaged, and the other one completely– Oh no.

I instantly bit the quilt and threw it off me.

“Oy, nurse! Nurse!” My companion shouted alarmed to the nearest nurse, a blue-furred mare with a long golden curly mane, and a band with a red cross on her forehead. She ran up to us right away, and then he nodded towards me.

One two three four! Oh Thank you Celestia, I still had all my legs!

“Calm down please sweetie, everything is fine,” The tired looking middle aged mare calmed me down in a sweet but raspy voice, to which I nodded positively, and relaxed on my bed. “I’ll go get the doctor, don’t you dare leave that bed,” she pointed at me with her hoof in a threatening manner, but with a smile on her face, to which I smiled back. Then she levitated my quilt back on me with her blue magic, and quickly scurried away.

Damn it, I wish I had a horn like that. Why couldn’t I be a unicorn?

Then i looked at the pony on the bed next to me. “Ey,” he greeted me, “I'm Pawn Board.”

“Rocky” I replied, but he still looked at me with his eyebrows rise, “Rocky Chase”

That made him open his eyes wide, “You’re Diamond Chase’s relative?!” he said in shock.

“Fuck off!” I know I'm not like her! You don’t have to rub it in like that, asshole.

“Oh no, no! I didn’t mean it like that! I meant it like… Like wow!”

After that there was a pregnant pause. I lay on my bed looking at the ceiling, and he sat on his bed, looking at the bowl of soup he held on his thighs.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t fast enough.” I said, staring at the white painted ceiling, with cables randomly running on it, descending on the walls, and connecting to all the electronic equipment in the room.

“Oy? Fast enough for what?”

“Well you… Lost your leg.” I said as I forced my eyes shut.

“Ow you’re a fucken idiot then,” He chuckled, “You saved me. I would get kissed by a Wendigo if not for you.”

“Hmm,” I murmured, and turned my head towards him. If it was somebody else, maybe Diamond, he would still have his leg.

“I'm serious, lad. You did… More than I could ask. I’ll get to see my family today thanks to ya! I guess being a hero is something you guys have in your blood,”

That made my ears perk up, one of them hurt but, i assumed it was from lying on the ground. Does he really think I'm like her? I felt a slight smile build on my face.

He sighed, “Don’t worry, they’ll give me a prosthesis anyway. I’ll be like new. And it’s not like you came out of it without a scratch either.”

“What are you talking about?” I rose on the bed. He just tapped his left ear. Oh no. I launched my hoof to my head, to check for my ear, but it wasn’t there! At least, not entirely. I wanted to start swearing, or kick something, or maybe– or–

I just hid my face in my hooves, and took a long, deep breath. Could be worse. Definitely could be worse. Still a damn shame

“Look at the good side,” He said with his mouth full, “maybe it won’t impress any frostlander, but ponies who live here, the city mares. Oh they like scars like that. ll will be yours in no time, im telling you!” he chuckled

“Oh yeah, at least I got that now,” I chuckled too.

“Yeah…” then, as if he got a surge of new energy, he looked at with curiosity in his eyes. “ So tell me. How is She. My little sister will kill me if she finds out I met Diamond’s brother and didn’t ask about her. She wants to be a scout because of her.”

Oh my fucking– of course he wants me talk about her…

I was happy!

I walked with almost dancing steps as the alleys squeezed and turned between the tall, multi-storey steel and wooden buildings. Almost all their doors had signs written on their doors with chalk. Some ponies do that, they believe it helps scare off Wendigos and evil spirits. Maybe there was something to that, I didn't care! I Whistled a happy tune I heard once in a pub together with the wind as I walked.

I checked my chest pocket touching it with my hoof, to make sure the playful wind fella hadn't ripped a certain very important paper out of it while I was distracted. He was really wild today.

“I knew you could do it.” The squeaky weasel voice asked me from the nearest poster I was passing.

Ah, him…

I never treated spirits seriously, at least until he showed up. Wendigoes, oh they scare the shit out of me. The way they howl during storms… It makes it impossible not to take them seriously, but spirits? The only notable name I know and respect is Discord.

I mean come on, when your mom goes ‘Go to bed or an evil spirit of tiredness will take you away!’ whenever it was past your bedtime as a foal, it's hard to not shrug them off.

“You did not! You left me in that mine to freeze!” I turned to the talking red and white poster of my sister.

“Me? Leave you? No! No! You’re my favourite pony in this whole city!”

I groaned, “ Fine, I signed there, now leave me alone! My life was awful enough without you being there to mock me all the time!” I said with a smile I couldn't hide, looking at the simplified graphic image of my sister that was currently talking to me. I was in such a good mood that I didn't want to rip it off the wall like I normally would have, and even though it was smiling all smugly.

“Truly,” He replied, still smug.

“Piss off!” I don't need somepony foal sitting me, and definitely not some… spiritual asshole. I quickly changed my mind, and ripped the poster off the wall, chewed the paint tasting paper for a bit and spat it on the ground. Then I turned and continued walking through the city’s tight, emptied and trashed streets ripping off every poster on my way. Just for good measure. It was just my routine by this point. Maybe not today, but usually seeing my sister's face everywhere made me feel sick. And I could use these to start a fire later.

I parsed, “Hero of the city” If I had her horn, magical talent, strength, and brain, I would be a hero too.

The damning thought stiffened my step and the smile disappeared from my face.

Nevermind that, I’m aware life isn't always fair, but to make her that… perfect? And make me… me? That’s just some sick joke. Maybe there’s a spirit of unfunny jokes that had something to do with it. I should go to the House of Prayers and check maybe. They have all the books on spirits.

I opened the doors to my family house, also with chalk signs written on them. On the inside there was a little bowl next to the door on the inside of the house, with a couple slices of apple in it. So much effort to convince the spirits to piss off, and that one glued himself to me anyway.

“Rock is that you?” I heard my mom’s voice through an open door to her room.

“Yes it’s me!” I said and after a pause and a long sigh, I entered the ‘Diamond Chase Sanctuary’ that mom called her ‘room’. “Hey mom!” I greeted her with cheer.

She sat at her walnut desk, wearing a dark purple elegant sweater, that contrasted her white fur while matching her eyes. Her light blue bane was neatly tied behind her head in a neat bun. She was writing something on a scroll with a pen held in her cyan magic.I can't wait for her to hear the good news, she's finally gonna be proud of me!

“Oh.” My mom opened her purple eyes wide, “What happened to you on the head?“ she asked with concern.

Ah, the bandage on my head, I completely forgot about that. “Nothing, I slipped on the ice and hit my head against the pipes.”

“Oh, okay,” She replied, still looking at me with worry in her eyes, “There will be twenty hour shifts in the mines. Don’t go to work tomorrow, I'll talk to Sweet Conduct as soon as I can. There should be a lot of vacancies because lots of ponies fled to nearby villages and cities, and I helped her daughter get to the scouts and she still owes me for that. She’ll … do something to move you to a cookhouse, or the Pub. ” She said as she leaned over her notebook again, and lifted her pen with her cyan blue magic.

“Ma, you and her both are just councilmare's assistants. What can she do?” I smiled lightly.

Yeah, My mom really wanted to be important, that's how she acted, dressed, and furnished her room anyways. That's also why her very famous ‘hero of the city’, ‘Fire of the Frozen Equestria’ daughter, was so precious to her. Yes, mom is a bit important. She works directly below the councilmares, who work directly under the Capitan. But that didn't give her much power. Hell, most doctors in the city could do more than her. Everybody wants a doctor friend. They can consult you, get you double rations, or have a friend that would do the same. A council mare’s assistant can… Only ask and hope for the best.

“I can do a lot more than an average pony in this city” She recoiled, offended, “And I won't let you work yourself to death! Sweet Conduct works directly under Swift Schedule who assigns ponies to jobs and manages the shift lengths.”

“No need Ma.” I took a deep breath, and smiled brightly, “ I’m joining the volunteer expeditions.”

“What?” She opened her purple eyes wide, and levitated her pen back into the quill.

She got up from her desk, “Why would you want to do that?” she asked with visible concern, and approached me, to look me in the eyes closely.

That puzzled me a lot. W-why is she not happy? Why isn't she jumping with joy that her ‘failure’ son is finally… I don’t know, doing something with his life? “Because I don’t want to freeze while working twenty four’s in a mine.”

“No no no, It’s not happening. I’ll get you a job somewhere else.” She grabbed my hoof in hers, and looked at me in a pleading manner.

Now that turned something inside me. Something that made me not sure how I should feel. “Why not?! Why aren’t you happy?!”

“Because I’m scared for you! You want to go out to Frostland! It's dangerous! You’re going to die! There are bandits there! Beasts!”

“But about Diamond, somehow you aren't afraid for.” I started to take on a bit of an angry tone.

“Because you're not Diamond sweetie” she said in a kind and understanding tone which… infuriated me. “Just know that, you are what you are, and I know what to expect from you.”

“Hmph, she thinks you can’t do what Diamond can. Shame she didn’t see you in that mineshaft.“ I heard that asshole’s Spirit’s voice from somewhere.

Yeah, it is a shame! I sensed a provocation, but at the same time, he was completely right!

“So that's what you think of me!?” I shouted

“Rock, don’t nitpick me by the words.”

“No. I will! What would you expect Diamond to do?!”

“Calm down!”

“What Would Diamond do?!”

“You’re not her! You’re Rock! You can’t be her! Stop trying to be her!”

That’s the last thing– “Bullshit! You–” I approached her with a fast and furious step, which made her take a few steps back, “You just accepted that I am worse than Diamond! That I am a nopony!”

“No, It’s not true.” She said, shrinking and lowering her voice slightly.

“Well the paper work's all here! I’m going to sigh in right now!” I growled, and punched my chest pocket in which i had the paper, ”You're gonna see for yourself!” I shouted as I stormed out of the the house and slammed the door. I was going towards the recruitment point. And this time, I was sure.

I'll show her.