Author's Note

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To get away from all of it!

The Ursa is not here… Good, I have to be quick.

The night was dark and windy. Very windy… it blew strong, launching tiny pieces of snow and ice off the ground and stabbing the only part of my body uncovered by a thick layer of winter clothing. It felt like it had tens of ice cold needles piercing into it every second.

Damn snow. Damn cold. Damn darkness. Everything, even the weather is against me.

I was climbing alone on top of a snowy hill. The one in which the ponies from our team took shelter just a few hours ago. The entrance to the mine that was at the bottom was easily visible if I looked down, lighting the snow near the slim entrance in a warm yellowish colour. I didn’t want to stray too far from it, in case I had to run - or tumble down, as it wouldn't take long in case the monster got on my tail.

I'll try to not let that happen.

So far I hadn’t seen the monster anywhere despite that I was looking, turning my head in every direction it could sneak up on me from every couple seconds.

it definitely won’t be easy, but nobody said killing it is impossible. It’s stupidn and horrendously dangerous, but not impossible… Just Imagine, “Rocky Chase - First time outside of the city, and already killed a Snow Ursa”- That would be something. I don’t know if even Diamond Chase has done that.

She did rescue a bunch of foals escaping Winterhorn from six Caverners though… Almost all by herself. Damn, I don’t think I could beat that. Winterhorn’s dead and, not a lot of fleeing foals that I heard of around here…

The thought that I can't beat her in that regard filled me with frustration. I just hated that so much.

Does she have to set the bar at everything so high!?

Hmph.

Maybe I can beat the Ursa without shooting my gun? Barehoof? But then, all I had was my rifle strapped to my side, and some additional ammunition in the saddlebags that I managed to pick up sneaking out while most of our team fell asleep. Three magazines and no melee weapons. Should be enough, right? Eighteen bullets. I doubt anything could survive eighteen bullets. I definitely couldn’t. Diamond would just stop the damn bullets mid air with her freaky unicorn magic and that would be it. She’s like a- Like a damn adventure series protagonist! Someone tries to come up with a plan to capture her, or kill her. And she just… Always finds a witty way to stop it. Like… when ‘The Crazy Regent’ sent somebody to ambush her when she was heading to ‘Our’ City?... Or was it Harmony City… It’s so frustrating, beyond putting it into words. It makes my insides turn and boil, it makes me want to take that gun, put it in my mouth and pull the trigger, it makes me wish that someday when I least expect it, she doesn’t… come… back...

thinking that is wrong. So wrong. I know it. I want to love her, she’s my sister. But the bottomless hatred I had for her perfection. Always better, always smarter than damn everyone.

Suddenly I heard a crack and froze on the spot. Turning every way to see if the Ursa was nearby, or Celestia forbid, on my tail. But I couldn't see anything uphill, against the black sky. Neither could I see anything downhill against the bluish dark snow. Or to my sides. No tracks, no anything.

The wind must have buried them.

Finally after climbing for a good while as if approaching the black abyss of the sky to get a better view, I reached a pleasant looking hollow in the steep snow that would more or less shelter me from the wind. The huge monster was nowhere to be seen, which was good, but at the same time unnerving. Every crack, every creak of the snow made my hair stand up, and my ears perk up - if they could, but the thick eared hat firmly stopped them from doing that. It also helped with them not freezing off… more than they already did in the mine. My head did always twist towards the source of the sound though. That happened pretty often, but nothing was there each time… Just the wind howling, and the grainy ticking sound of pieces of ice sliding along the ground.

I laid myself inside, and sighed upon feeling the needling pain on the fur of my muzzle stop.

I should really get something to cover my face next time.

As quietly as I could, I put my gun on the edge of the snow hollow I was laying in, and scanned the downhill terrain ahead. My hoofprints led from me to the base of the hill, avoiding the occasional black rocks sticking out from underneath. Then the surface levelled, leaving an ocean of dark blue… you guessed it , snow! It was coloured by the night sky, and some occasional lights in the distance. Houses? Travel shelters? Who knows. Just snow, snow, snow, everywhere you looked.

No wonder everything that lived out here was so aggressive. Ponies probably too… I mean, just look at the Caverners. You really have to kill everything that moves and eat it to survive.

I waited, looking for those bright yellow eyes anywhere… Trying to find a black coloured beast during the night with all the moonlight blocked by a layer of clouds was next to impossible, so only its eyes could betray where the monster would be…

The howling wind eventually calmed down, and I still lay there in perfect silence, letting the snowflakes calmly land on me and my gun, one by one.

I didn’t have all the time in the world. Every minute of me laying here I grew more anxious. The monster really didn’t seem to be one to let go easily, so it had to be around here… Not seeing it made me actually feel worse. But also, the Scout Captain - Nice Glide - could notice one of his ponies missing any second. He will eventually if I keep sitting here for who knows how long.

Unless…

I sat down, cold snow piercing the insulation of my pants right away.

If I am to prove something. I can’t just wait for the opportunity to find me…

Click. A sound of thunder tore through my ears as I shot into the air, the sound echoing away into the horizon faster than any animal could run.

“Aw fucking ow ow ow…” My gun dropped down, and now with ringing in my ears and my eyes clenched shut I did too, massaging my hurting ears.

How do ponies use these things without going deaf?!

I did open my eyes eventually and scanned the surroundings again while still massaging my ears for a good minute,hissing and whispering a quiet “ah, ah ah, ahh” to myself

Nothing was running into my direction from below yet - that’s good. But what’s the hoarse noise…? Are my ears still ringing?

I took off my hat and scratched the inside of my right ear, and then the… what was left of my left ear.

Yeah, it's ringing but it's not… That…

Is it my gun? I looked at the weapon, laying half buried in the snow next ot the edge of my shelter after I threw it away from myself, and put my ear to the something-bolt complicated-bullet-shooty-mechanism. No it’s not..

So that means…

A paralysing wave of fear ran through me.

It’s behind me, it's behind me, it's behind me.

While hearing the hoarse sounds behind me, as if a ragged breathing that changed its tempo randomly, I slowly, very slowly leaned forward towards the edge of my hollow where the gun lay on the snow. Accompanied by the sounds of the snow cracking when I moved, and the breathing of a huge monster that most probably stood behind me. I hugged the gun tightly to my chest, and tried to attach it back to the mount on my side using two small straps. My hooves shook, and my breathing was shallow. I tried one strap, but couldn’t put it through the metal ring it was supposed to go into. I just couldn’t do it!

Please Please go through it!

But the breathing behind me got hoarser, almost turning into a growl. THat made my moves more frantic. I was missing time after another.

Please oh anyone, Any Gun spirit around to help…?

While shaking and breathing shallowly, I slowly turned my head towards… It.

And i saw it, first in the corner of my eye, and after that i just couldn’t stop until my eyes were locked with the bright as fire amber coloured pair of wide open eyes, tracking my every slightest move. They were open so wide, that if you’d skipped the tiny detail of the giant bear-like muzzle full of huge sharp teeth, you could almost think the Ursa was more scared than you. But it wasn’t, It was waiting for the right moment to throw itself on me and rip me to pieces. The teeth and the eyes were the only two recognisable parts on the pitch black furry silhouette, giving it a haunting look of a monstrous face floating on a dark form. A form that was huge, I felt it, even though I could barely see it, I sensed its hunger, I saw how it trembled from its lust for blood, wanting nothing else at the moment than to make sure all that was left of me is a red stain on the snow.

I sat on my rump paralysed by fear, couldn't move a muscle. Merely a shallowly breathing scared to death prey, packed in a thick winter coat as packaging, hugging its gun tightly like it was gonna do anything except serve as a nitpick.

But the Ursa wasn’t. It took one slow step after another, raising its formless legs high, and then sinking them elbows deep in snow. And despite that, it was still almost twice as tall as me.

I-it’s attracted to a-action right? Like these firecrackers… Then If i’m slow enough…

When it was just a metre away, I realised I had to do something! I took a quiet and shakily deep breath, let the gun go out of my tight embrace while still having the flask between my legs, I slowly pointed it towards the Ursa's face.

One good shot and… Maybe… I can actually-

Slowly, d-don’t shake too much-h…

Put the flask on my thigh like the mare said, and, and…

I slowly extended the gun, like a drawbridge, going from upwards to more and more horizontal, until it was aiming right at the ursa’s face, who tracked its movements carefully, making even slower and steady steps, now that it was sure I couldn't escape my fate. It started showing its teeth entirely, opening its mouth, as if getting ready to finally bite-

Click - i pulled the trigger.

It did nothing.

Except for making the ursa throw itself onto me, biting the gun in a flash.

I didn’t know what was happening anymore. One second I had it in my hands, and just the next, the Ursa was ripping it to pieces with a furious growl right in front of my face while i was running.

I jumped into the air onto my legs and instinctively I started fleeing… And screaming.
Throwing myself down the hill and Galloping for my life as I heard the gun clanking and falling to pieces behind me against a rock I just passed.

Why the fuck did i do this why the fuck did i do this!

“Get inside!” I heard a familiar voice from above me, whoever said that didn’t matter because I was planning to do exactly that!

I galloped downhill as fast as my snowshoes allowed me, while trying to not slip or fall down because of the speed and the steep angle. The voice from above me growled, and with a flutter of the wings that turned into wheezing of a jet engine, something flew behind me, angering the Ursa and making it growl in a way I'd never want to hear in my life!

A pegasus!

The wheezing stayed behind me, further occupying the Ursa. As it roared and growled behind me, curiosity made me turn around, to see what was happening.

And then a rock made me stumble, to keep things from being too simple.

As I tumbled down, closing my eyes and only feeling the cold snow get everywhere under my jacket, as I was repeatedly hitting my head against the white and hard frozen crust of the mountain, I finally came to a halt, right next to the yellowish lit gap between a snow pile and the upper beam of the mine entrance that served as our way in. Wobbly, I opened my eyes and slowly stood up trying to keep my balance. My breathing was quick, lungs hurt, and so did my head.

But before jumping in I wanted to see who was the one that saved me, is he alright? Will he manage to get in after me?

I looked upwards at the mountain, and saw… Was that my captain!? He’s a pegasus!

Indeed, against a dark starry night sky I saw a reddish Pegasus. Now I know where I knew the voice from.

And he was completely naked! It was like -30 Celsius outside! How is he not freezing!?

“Run inside and this time you’re gonna fucking stay there until Diamond chase shows up!” he roared, diving against the ursa, who seemed to have focused on me again. It really wasn’t hard to deduce since it was sprinting at me at full speed down the hill!

Something didn’t allow me to move though. Yeah I had a huge monster that wanted to tear me to shreds running at me, but I stood still, as if frozen to the ground before the Mine’s entrance.

Wait until Diamond Chase shows up? Wait for her to save me? Us?

There are things I guess I considered worse than the Ursa. If i go in now. I’ll be stuck inside the mine under the eye of Captain Nice Glide- And then she’s gonna come, save everybody, and babysit me as usual?!

I looked at the Ursa closing in rapidly,- Ah fuck this!

Shuddering, as if gathering myself for a gallop inside, I jumped into a sprint - but stopped after a second, and kept standing almost on the same spot.

No! Diamond. I’m not gonna let yo- OAAAA!

I screamed into the white emptiness ahead as the black beast with its huge yellow globes launched at me. Instinctively closing my eyes and turning away from the danger, I felt its teeth bite into my back. It bit hard, the pain making me scream as I felt the beast easily lifting me up and sweeping me to every side, like a dog trying to tear apart a piece of meat. I was completely helpless, I couldn’t turn, couldn’t kick, I could imagine it mauling and playing with me like a squeaky screaming and crying toy until I died. And I thought that’s exactly what was gonna happen,

Until the wheezing and fluttering of Nice Glide’s wings got loud.

Suddenly I felt an impact together with an empty clank of something hard hitting the Ursa’s skull.

It let me go out of its jaws, making me fall onto the snow on my belly. As I heard Nice Glide scream, I realised the severity, the disaster that the Ursa’s bite turned out to be. I felt every muscle on my back act… wrong. Warm sticky wetness filled the inside of my clothes, soaking through and dripping on the ground.

“Run inside! I’m gonna distract it!”

I couldn’t think.

I didn’t feel the pain. Not yet at least. I could run. I could get up and gallop.

I looked at the warmly lit mineshaft.

And then in the opposite direction. At the cold blue plain of snow under the dark night sky, and a lonely distant light, shining somewhere out there.

No, I'm not gonna let her save me.

I jumped back on my hooves, and began Galloping. As much as my hurt back allowed me to, running away into the cold dark Equestrian frostland.

“What are you doing!? Get back here you idiot! Come back!” I heard his tired shout. Was it the cold, or the exhaustion from flying, I didn't care.

He screamed to no avail. I didn’t even look back at him. I’m not doing that again. I just hoped he could distract the Ursa long enough for me to lose them.

“You’re gonna die! You hear me! Come back!” But then his tone shifted, from confused, to angry, threatening, “I’m here freezing my ass off and you’re fucking running?! I’m not gonna have a dead volunteer on my account, you hear me?! I’m gonna find you! And drag you back into the fucking city!”

Maybe he really would do that, but I kept running. I didn't care, I didn't want her to save me, I didn't want her again to get all the glory, and definitely not because she saved me.

This was stupid. I’m fucking stupid. Too late to turn back now. I can’t.

Tears began falling off my face, as I ran blindly forward.

I almost fucking died! Died!

No, it was worth it, it was worth it.

Was it?

I’ve got to get away from here, i fucked up. Please don’t look for me, I’m sorry.

I couldn’t bear the thought that I had disappointed yet another person. It was supposed to be my moment! But this… It felt like a hole in my stomach, hurting me more than even the bites on my back, and they felt worse and worse every minute. I didn’t want anything more than just my gun, to shoot myself and be done with it all.

I’m sorry I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to put you in this!

I'm sorry Captain, for the trouble, I'm not gonna get myself killed in a stupid way like this, I promise.

For now, I just needed to get away from all of this.

Hope falls slightly

Discontent rises significantly