"Alright Jeb, thrust at five degrees to the right at 50% throttle and burn for three seconds and then set the nose to zero degrees and 25% throttle and burn until touchdown. Over."
"Copy that KSC, burn at 50% for three seconds.... now." Said Jebediah, looking over his information displays as he slowly throttled up to half throttle. He felt a jolt as the engine lagged and cut out before coming back on again.
Damn budget cuts he thought to himself. Jeb reached over and hit the broadcast button on is flight radio.
"Alright KSC, three second burn is complete. Turning to zero degrees and thrusting at quarter throttle, over"
"Remember to turn on the landing lights and extend the landing legs, over." stated a ground controller at Kerbal Space Center.
"Copy that, landing lights are coming on and legs are extending." replied Jeb as he flipped the switch on the lights and pulled the lever for the landing legs. As the lights finally came to full brightness, Jeb looked out the window at the Münar landscape quickly rising to meet him and his ship.
"Uhh, KSC, I have a p-problem here. Over!" Jeb quickly stammered over the radio.
"What is it Jeb?"
"I'm gonna crash!" He screamed as he felt the legs dig into the regolith and break free from the ship. He quickly reached over to cut off the engine but he missed as the side of the craft slammed into the ground. The window of the ship cracked and exploded, the precious air inside the cabin quickly rushing out. Luckily, Jeb had his helmet on since launch so as he was sucked out along with the air he did not die from depressurization. He grunted as he felt his body slam onto the mountain. He staggered as he tried to get up but slipped and started to roll down the hill.
This is the end... he thought At least I get to go out in style!. When he finally stopped rolling, he lay still on the ground but looked up towards his ship that was speeding away back to Kerbin.
I'm fucked... he thought as he lay his head back down on the ground and passed out into a glorious deep sleep that Kerbals experience only once, when they are about to die.
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Jebediah awoke violently as electricity surged through his suit and body. His arms and legs spasmed out of control. All he could see through the visor of his helmet was a brilliant blue light. He gasped as an unknown force sent air back into his lungs and his heart restarted. This isn't in the Kerbalian Bible! When the painful ordeal was finally over, and he could once again breath normally, he stood up to observe his surroundings. A sudden stench of burnt hair caused him to gag and almost vomit into his suit.
Steady there, Jeb, don't want to relive that stupid decision back in training... He searched his suit for the switch among gods, the switch that solved all (current) problems... the light switch. As the lights flickered and finally came on. He was greeted with nothing but dark soil and empty space.
Time to start walking and see if my ship came back down anywhere..... With that he turned on his in-suit MP3 player and started up his favorite road-trip song, 500 miles. Unbeknownst to him, though, he was being watched by a certain blue alicorn from behind a rock.
"When I wake up yeah I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you. When I go out yeah I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you!" Jebediah sang out loud, not knowing a certain princess was listing to him and following him.
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After listening to Jebediah sing 500 miles exactly 3,405 times, and walking exactly 103.67 miles, Luna decided it was time to reveal herself. Jebediah had not looked back once, so Luna decided it would be of her best interest to scare her little green visitor. She got up close to Jeb and poked his back, when he turned around and saw her, she released the most terrifying sound known to life.
"BOO!" She shouted. Jebediah instantly screamed like a little girl and shouted,
"It's the Space Kraken, every Kerbal for themselves!" In his panic he made the second worst decision in his life, he punched Luna right in the snout as hard as he could and ran away screaming, hands over his head.
"THOU BETTER GET THINE LITTLE GREEN HEAD BACK HERE!" Luna shouted in the Royal Canterlot Voice
"Kiss my little green ass, Kraken!" He screamed over his shoulder, his screams of fear quickly turning into maniacal laughter. His laughing stopped as he realized he was no longer moving forward, but backwards towards Luna as her magic engulfed him and pulled him back to her.
"You'll never take me alive, Kraken!" He shouted frantically, desperately flailing around trying to get a grip on the Münar soil.
"I AM NOT A KRAKEN!" shouted Luna, "I AM PRINCESS LUNA, CONTROLLER OF THE MOON!" she turned Jebediah to face her and turned off his MP3 player so he was paying attention to only her. She brought Jeb closer to her until her nose pressed against his suit visor and her breath fogged the glass.
"APOLOGIZE TO THE PRINCESS OF THE MOON."
"But," Jeb squeaked as he sank lower into his suit.
"APOLOGIZE OR DIE!"
" I'm sorry..." he whispered as he cowered in fear, shrinking as far as he could. Just when he thought Luna would break his neck and eat him, Luna burst into tears. Her magic let go of him and he slowly fell back onto the Münar surface.
"My sister was right! I am a monster!" she cried as she buried her face into her hooves. "I only wanted a friend after 514 years here and I went and ruined it!" Luna was to busy crying to notice Jebediah slowly hopping towards her. When he reached her, he brought his arms around her neck and pulled her into a big hug. Luna didn't seem to notice and continued to cry.
" I don't hate you " He said pulling her deeper into his embrace.
"Y-you d-don't?" Luna sniveled as she brought her head up from her hooves.
"No, right now you're the only one I have too. A friend in need is a friend indeed." He said into her ear, "I think I may have overreacted before, it's my fault. I'm the one who was mean, not you."
" T-thank you..." Luna said, her crying had stopped but she was still sniveling. She put her hooves around Jeb and pulled him into her into a big hug. They said nothing to each other and merely enjoyed each others company. They eventually both fell into a deep sleep and Jeb's headlights eventually flickered out and died completely.
