Luna Vs. the TSA

by I Vicious I

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Comedy, Random
Length: 1252

After the defeat of Nightmare Moon, Celestia decides to celebrate with the creation of the first airport in Equestria Excited to travel to far away lands, The Sisters can't wait to try their hooves at air travel. Unfortunately the TSA has other plans

After the defeat of Nightmare Moon, Celestia decides to celebrate by funding the creation of the first airport in Equestria. Excited to travel to far away lands, Luna and Celestia can't wait to try their hooves at air travel. Unfortunately the TSA has other plans.

Credit to Dart157 for coming up with the Premise.

Published 2023-11-27 06:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-11-27 06:10:00 UTC

What's a Ticket?

The vastness of the terminal was immediately apparent, with its high ceilings and expansive windows allowing natural light to flood the space. The hum of distant conversations, the echoing hoofsteps of hurried travelers, and the steady drone of rolling suitcases created a symphony of activity. The air is infused with a blend of scents, a mélange of coffee from bustling cafes, the sweet aroma of freshly baked goods, and the faint lingering hints of jet fuel. It was the pervasive scent of travel; a mix of excitement and the unknown, hung in the air.

"Isn't this wonderful, sister!" exclaimed Luna. "Imagine, steel boats that can fly through the sky like pegasuses, what a magical place this 'airport' is, I was able to buy a coffee, and I did not even have to travel to a coffee stand, simply amazing!" Luna declared, clearly high on caffeine and the novelty of her first time at and airport, Luna's excitement was palpable. Luna skipped along the hard multicolored floor. "Wow, this stone we walk upon is so hard and cold, what incredible magic is this dear sister?"

Celestia rolled her eyes, Luna was so easily amused by the most mundane things. "It's not magic Luna; Twilight says it's something called epoxy". As Luna tapped inquisitively at the hard, slick floor, Celestia looked about at the confusing signs, trying to make sense of where they were supposed to go. "I think we need to go through security," she said dryly, pointing her hoof in the direction of several ponies in blue uniforms, standing at a security checkpoint, ready to check incoming ponies.

"Oh joy, sister! We shalt soon be riding on the airplane!" She shouted as she sprinted towards security.
"STOP" shouted an orange Earth pony, causing Luna to abruptly halt in place. At least that was the idea, but instead she slid across the slick floor, stopping just in front of the TSA agent who looked over the top of her computer to see Luna, a bemused look on her face. "Don't do that again or you will be kicked out of the airport, got it!?"

Luna looked down "I won't do it again" she replied softly. Had she spoken too loudly? Was there a sign she had failed to heed? Perhaps running is not the thing to be done inside an airport?

The orange Earth Pony was a TSA agent, she looked simultaneously bored out of her mind, and exhausted beyond belief as her sunken eyes made her appear several years older than she was. The orange pony held out her hoof, reaching towards Luna. Luna stared for a second at the outstretched leg before slapping the orange Ponys hoof, "the high hoof!" She shouted proudly.

Before the increasingly annoyed agent could reply, Celestia reached forward, tickets in hoof. "Here the tickets" she stated quickly, hoping to defuse the situation.

The orange pony quickly snatched them away and gave Luna a dirty look before returning to her computer. She audibly tapped away at the keys, stopping every 10 seconds or so to shoot Luna another dirty look. Luna tried to make herself look small, once again unsure of why this pony was being so mean to her. "Okay, there's a problem here, I can't let you through", she said flatly while pointing at Luna.

Luna smiled, "don't worry, we can let ourselves through, you don't need to come with us on the plane". Celestia looked at her sister, in shock, her mouth slightly agape while the agent was solemn, instead choosing to give her a stare of pure hatred.

The orange pony was staring daggers for what could have been a solid minute before responding to this. "No, I mean I can't allow you to go through security, you're on a terrorist watch list, and before you ask, it means you're an awful pony".

Luna was stunned, "but why am I on such a list? I didn't do anything bad". She said as tears welled up in her eyes, “I’m not a bad pony”.

"I don't believe that for a second" snapped the agent as she shot Luna a dirty look. "It says here that you tried to conquer our empire... twice. and there's also an arrest warrant from a government official about... replacing the toilet paper backwards in your sister's bathroom... huh... that can't be right... why would anypony..."

Luna interrupts the agent's train of thought, with her becoming increasingly agitated as she half cried and shouted "but I said I was sorry when I gave up my aspirations of imperialistic conquest! I am now even the friends with my prior adversary, Twilight Sparkle".

Meanwhile Celestia was covering her mouth with her hoof trying to hold back her laughter but failed to stop the deluge as she burst out laughing. "Sorry Luna, I put that last one on there as a joke, I didn't think they would actually care". The agent turned her head to Celestia, "did you just admit to interfering with a government agency? You know that's an arrestable offense, right?"

Celestia looked at the agent cock eyed, "um... I'm kind of the head of the government, I can do whatever I want, you should be reminded that this a monarchy" she said with an uncharacteristic amount of smugness.

Raising her voice, the agent snapped at her. "Another outburst like that and I'll have you removed from this airport if not jailed outright, is that clear?" an annoyed Celestia nodded in response, she was irritated, but she decided to let this continue, she was curious about where this was going. The agent points at Luna "And you, please step out of line, we're going to question you further in a moment."

Luna teared up, "but we wanted to ride on the airplane!" She sobbed loudly.

Unperturbed, the agent points at Celestia. "And you, you've been randomly selected to be screened for explosives, please step to the side and an agent will swab your body for residue."

Celestia shook her head 'no'. "That's not going to happen, nopony is touching me; and what do you mean by random, you didn't even type my information into your computer yet, how did I get randomly selected exactly?"

The officer glared at Celestia. "Step out of line ma'am ".

"I don’t think I will” growled an angry Celestia. “I’m pretty sure you’re just profiling me for being an Alicorn”. The TSA agent just looked smugly at Celestia, in a less than subtle way, letting her know that this was just a game to make the lives of others harder.

Luna regained some confidence as she wiped tears from her eyes. “Fine, we shalt just fly ourselves! We have no need for your mechanical novelties. Come dear sister, we are done here.” Luna stated to the agent before turning and walking towards a nearby door. Impressed by Luna's confidence, Celestia couldn’t help but follow. Luna walked to a nearby fire exit door that led to the outside, and with a ‘wirrrrr’ of her magic, she forced the door open, setting off a slew of alarms in the airport. The sisters walk outside, stepping onto the tarmac, and with a thunderous blast, they fly; kicking off the ground at an incredible speed. The TSA agent that had followed them outside, can only stare wide mouthed as white and black streaks dart across the sky.

The next day, the TSA was investigated for discrimination against Alicorns, and the airport was promptly shut down forever.