Time goes on

The hallway felt cold as Sunset Shimmer walked past the lockers. Her steps were slow, and her eyes fixed on the cold tiles as she moved through the chilly hallway. She could hear murmurs of accusations, disgust, hatred, and betrayal everywhere she went. The people she thought to be her family, her friends, had abandoned her. The Rainbooms' once warming gaze had turned into one of hate. Anon-A-Miss had destroyed everything.

She tried to explain, but they just won't listen. She pleads with her soft voice but they return it with a yell, scream, and a hurtful comment. The trust has been broken. The way Applejack avoided contact, and the way Rainbow Dash's face twisted with hatred— Sunset knew there was no trust left in them, she lost in this fight.

Hurriedly she pushed the exit door and wandered around aimlessly. As long as she's away from the stares, she's safe. At least until she forgets all of this hoping they would magically forget about this.

Her eyes blur as she feels warmth on her cheeks, and tears slowly fall from her eyes. She bites her lips and blinked them away, refusing to cry. Not now. At least not here.

But the words they said are suffocating her. Sunset was not Anon-A-Miss; she was not, but her stomach was knotted with remorse because she wondered if this was all her fault after all. Perhaps she was still bearing the cost of her past self. She could still feel the ghost of her former self—the cunning bully who would stop at nothing to get control—haunting her dreams and looming large in the background of her consciousness. That old version of herself, the manipulative bully who sought power at any cost, still haunted her thoughts, lurking in the back of her mind like a shadow she couldn’t outrun.

Her thoughts drifted back to that first conversation with Twilight after the Fall Formal, Twilight had extended a hand, and offered her something she had never expected—friendship. Real, genuine friendship.

However, Twilight was no longer present. Back in Equestria, she was far away and inaccessible. Sunset wondered if Twilight had answered her last frantic message, but her heart wasn't ready to check as she quickly glanced at her journal in her backpack.

Even so, what will she say? How could she fix this?

Maybe they're right. Maybe deep down I'm still the bad guy in this story. Maybe I don't deserve forgiveness. Heh, what am I? A bad guy pretending to be good? Perhaps that's what they saw in me.

She hardly sensed the wind nipping at her tender skin. Her mind was racing with a thousand different thoughts, each one harsher than the last. She had the sensation that she was falling apart, little by little.

Physically she's in pain too, a lot of hot-headed students beat her at lunchtime and sometimes when she was about to go home. This happened for the past few days after they accused Sunset who took responsibility for those Anon-A-Miss posts.

What hurts the most is, that her so-called friends were sometimes there when the beating happened. She heard Fluttershy's voice who tried to help her but the other voice said no so that's why even Fluttershy wouldn't want to help her.

It surprised her when she acknowledged the one who was responsible for the beating stuff that happens is from one of her 'former' friends. It did drain her physically and mentally.

They won.

By the time she reached the apartment, her hands were shaking as she fumbled with the keys. The door opened, but when she got inside she slammed the door and locked it out to prevent more pain from coming at her.

Sunset slipped down until she was seated on the floor, leaning her back against the door. She was trying to choke back the sob that was trying to get its hold on her throat, and her chest heaved with frantic breaths. Tears that she had been holding back all day hurt her eyes. Her body was shaking so badly that she clutched her knees to her chest.

She is alone.

She always worried about this. There had always been a tiny voice in the back of her head, a voice that told her this wouldn't last, even when things were going well and the Rainbooms had embraced her. They still recognize her as the monster that she truly is. The voice is mocking her as if it was saying that they were right all along.

She muttered to herself, almost audible, "I'm not her anymore." But uncertainty grew even as she spoke.

She had put in a lot of effort to improve and prove how she had changed. In an attempt to make amends for the horrible things she had done, she had battled to gain their confidence. And it was all gone now. They didn't accept her story. Nobody did.

Her flat, which had been an escape for her, was chilly and deserted today. As she sobbed, the quiet enclosing her seemed to push in on all sides. She had the same overwhelming loneliness and sense of being lost in a sea of regret and humiliation as she had felt following her failure at the Fall Formal. However, this time was harder as she had experienced what it was like to have friends and to be liked, and now those feelings had vanished.

"I'm sorry..." Who did she even apologize to? Her friends? Herself? The world for the person she was before?

Her sobs getting louder than before, shaking her to her core. She pressed her hands to her temples, trying to block out the flood of emotions, but it was no use. All of the emotions came crashing down. She wanted to stop it, but she couldn't.

Everything became too much to bear. Sunset pounded her fists on the ground and cried out a rage. The sole reaction to her pain was the sound that reverberated throughout the deserted room.

When she saw the picture frame of her and the rainbooms together after the Siren incidents, she felt anger rushing towards her veins as she grabbed those pictures and threw them out the window. The window got a little bit damaged and so did the picture that fell to the yard outside her place.

She sat there, curled up on the floor, allowing the misery to consume her for hours. Her mind was a messy, disorganized mix of ideas that no longer made sense.

She eventually stopped crying, her body worn out from the mental turbulence. She dabbed at her eyes with her jacket sleeve, but the tears persisted, slower now but no less venomous. She had a hollow, empty feeling.

Her forehead pressed against her knees as she drew them closer. Her thoughts were spinning, and her breathing was labored. The tempest inside her had nowhere to go. She was lost in it, her anguish from all the losses overwhelming her.

"Why?" She spoke a scarcely discernible murmur into the quiet. "Why does it end this way every time?"

But there was no response. All that could be heard was the raspy sound of her breathing and the faint murmur of the city outside.

Sunset Shimmer wished it would all go away as she closed her eyes. The worst thing about it all, though, was that she knew the agony wouldn't go away.

And neither was she.

In Equestria, the light shines through the palace of friendliness, far from Sunset's dreary apartment.

Despite the brightness, a sense of unease permeates our lovely Princess Twilight. Twilight is seated at her study desk with open books, scrolls, and the occasional half-empty cup of tea all about her.

She has sensed something is off for the last few minutes, but she is unsure of what. Knowing that these uncomfortable sensations aren't the typical tension she experiences from becoming the friendship princess made it much more unpleasant. These seemed a little personal.

Her gaze flickered to the journal she kept to stay in touch with her dear friend Sunset Shimmer. Because of her hectic schedule, it rested on the edge of the desk, untuned, for several days.

A few days prior, Twilight had written to inquire about Sunset's well-being because the Hearts warming was approaching. Sunset mentioned something about holding up a sleepover party or something similar in response, which was pretty much the standard response.

However, Twilight felt a knot in her gut as she continued to look at the closed journal.

She turned back to the notebook and said to herself, "Why does it feel... off?"

It was still and silent, simply sitting there. However, Twilight was unable to get rid of the mounting feeling of unease, as though something was wrong.

Her wings twitched in a nervous energy as she kept pacing back and forth in her room. Spike, who had been reading a book looked up and saw Twilight doing an uneasy move.

"Uhh... Twilight? Penny for your thought?" Spike said, raising his eyebrow as he put his book down.

Pausing, Twilight turned to face Spike and searched for suitable phrases, saying, "I'm not sure, Spike. Simply put, I don't feel well about this."

As Spike approached Twilight, he cleared part of the paper from Twilight's chamber. "What feeling?"

"I don't know, that journal has been giving me a weird ambiance." She paused and gazed over the journal, saying, "Spike, something was happening. My instinct tells me it has something to do with Sunset, but I'm not sure what it is."

After giving it some thought, Spike took a quick look at the map of Equestria, half-expecting to see some fresh magical disruption. Still, the map glowed subtly and remained peaceful.

"Well, nothing seems to be happening here." He pointed at the map, "Are you sure it's not stress that chews you up? Try to rest more Twilight."

Twilight gave a headshake. "No, this feels not like that. It feels like..." Her eyes returned to the journal. "Like it’s coming from Sunset."

Blinking, Spike followed her line of vision. "Sunset? But didn't she write to you a few days ago? All appeared to be well."

"I'm not sure whether or not she has been lying. However, even if she isn't, Spike, a horrible day might happen at any time." With a furrowed brow, Twilight fluttered her wings nervously. "What happens if something happens? What if she isn't telling me that something is wrong?"

"Write to her then, I'm sure she'll appreciate your concern as a dear friend." Spike scratched the back of his head, unsure of how to respond, "Am I right?"

Twilight nodded and moved to her desk to write a letter to Sunset, but an uneasiness in her heart didn't fade away. It has been growing steadily since this morning.

Dear, Sunset Shimmer

Despite the little time elapsed since our previous conversation, I've been feeling uneasy today. I wanted to see how you were doing, just in case I was simply being too concerned. Are things going well for you?
If you have any problems, don't hesitate to let me know. Nothing has to be done by you alone. You have me.

Your Dear Friend..
Twilight Spakrle

"Ack, I miss write."

"Heh, Twilight Spakrle." Spike let out a small giggle which earned Twilight's annoyed glare.

She closed the journal after pausing to look at the words on the page. The letter had been sent. All she could do now was wait for a response.

Spike tried to reassure her after noticing the stress, "Twilight, I'm sure she's all right. Sunsets are strong. Perhaps she's just busy with whatever is taking up her time."

"I hope so, Spike."

What if the same darkness is returning to her?

A chill went down her spine at the thought. Twilight was familiar with the sensation of bearing the burden of sorrow and loneliness. She was aware of the difficulty in asking for assistance, especially in times of greatest need.

She said, "Please be okay, Sunset," her gaze lingered on the closed journal.

The journal glowed softly on the coffee table, signaling a new message had been ended from the other side of the portal. Sunset noticed it—like always. Her eyes are drawn to it, but she doesn't have the energy to move at all.

Whenever she receives a message from Twilight, she usually becomes delighted. She feels connected, warm, and at ease because of it. Twilight has always believed in her, as she is aware.

But she feels numb now. Every move she took required a lot of energy, on top of the hunger she had been experiencing for the last two days.

A small growl came from her stomach, reminding her how long it had been since her last meal. For two days. Though she hadn't eaten anything in two solid days, the mere thought of eating made her queasy. Her throat constricted whenever she tried to push herself to eat. She wasn't simply not hungry, she was unable to feel anything.

She was just lying there on the ground, not moving.

It felt like too much to consider opening the journal, attempting to explain everything that had happened, and acknowledging that her friends were abandoning her. She was unable to face it. Not right now.

The journal kept buzzing and glowing as if it asked to be opened, but Sunset's eyes flickered away refusing to face the journal. She couldn't bring herself to read it.

The light from the journal finally dimmed, and Twilight's letter to Sunset left to be unanswered.

Her eyelids blinked open once more, vacantly gazing at the journal. Sunset couldn't force herself to care at the moment, but perhaps Twilight would worry more if she didn't answer. She lacked the willpower to even feel bad about it.

She said, "I'm sorry, Twilight," but no one could hear her mumble into the void. "I simply cannot."

Maybe tomorrow, or maybe later she answer the letter. Maybe she'll eat too.

But now, her head felt dizzy and her vision started to fade away. It seemed like the effects of nutritional deficiencies were starting to creep up on her.

"You think she's there?"

"It's says on the address, how about you knock it?"

"Hard or soft?"

"Just do it already, my leg is very sore from all the walking we did."

She heard someone talking outside of her door. She tried to call but couldn't due to her condition.

"Come one, Sunny. Open the door~"

"We know you in there."

The last sounds Sunset heard before losing consciousness were the click of the door opening and the sound of footsteps rushing toward her.