Splitting Hairs

by SilverNotes

Rating: everyone
Tags: Bulk Biceps, Slice of Life, Romance, Drama, Equestria Girls, Derpy Hooves
Length: 2138

Bulk Biceps has a problem, but it's not the one he thinks he has. Thankfully, he has his closest friend to help.

That day at the mall was mortifying for Bulk Biceps, but thanks to Fluttershy's kindness, everything worked out pretty well. He has a new squirrel buddy, a new hat, and everything is fine now.

So why do things feel uneasy and wrong about this?

Thankfully, Bulk has a good friend with a unique perspective, who might be able to help him realize that it's not really the hat that was the problem in the first place.

Written on commission, for Moproblems Moharmoney. If you'd like to commission me yourself, my rules are right here.
Also check out author Ko-Fi.

Published 2024-02-04 18:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-02-04 18:30:00 UTC

In Her Eyes

The new hat didn't fit right.

The bag that the store clerk had given him for it was resting nearby, as he sat on the park bench. Next to it was the bag from the sandwich shop, as well as a small bag from one of the grocery stores. He was chowing down on the submarine sandwich he'd gotten from the former, and from the latter was a package of sunflower seeds, which he was handing to the squirrel perched next to him a few at a time.

"Don't eat too fast, Mr. Cheeks," he said, "It'll make you sick."

The squirrel, naturally, didn't heed his words at all. Bulk was honestly surprised that the little guy was still around. Fluttershy had called on him to help out during the incident back at the mall but he didn't really know what she'd told him.

That his classmate had a supernatural affinity for animals was something that everyone rolled with, just like Applejack being super strong and Rainbow Dash super fast. CHS had just become a weird place where weird things happened, and if you went to CHS, then occasionally the weird things stuck to you and followed you.

So Fluttershy could talk to animals and it was normal because it was Fluttershy, and when his hat had gotten wrecked, she'd seen the trouble, and she'd called her fuzzy friend to the rescue to hop onto his head and curl up there. And while he'd liked how it'd looked, Bulk didn't want the little guy to go out of his way for too long.

So he'd gotten the new hat, some 'thank you' seeds, and here they were, with his new friend showing no sign that he wanted to be brought back to Fluttershy. He didn't really mind, either. It was a lot easier to talk to an animal than it was to a person, and Mr. Cheeks was a good listener. He could bring the little guy around near the end of Fluttershy's shift and thank her for the help, but there was no hurry. Just a chill lunch on a park bench with his new little buddy.

"Hey, Bulk. New pet?"

At least until someone else showed up and made him jump out of his skin with yelp of surprise. At least the new hat stayed put.

The girl standing there was staring at him with sharp golden eyes. Well, at least one golden eye. She briefly squinted, tried to bring the other one into alignment, and judging by her expression, ultimately seemed to only accomplish giving herself a headache. "Sorry, didn't mean to sneak up."

Going to CHS meant getting used to weird things, and Bright Eyes... he wasn't sure if it was magic or just a mundane talent, but she was good at sneaking up on folks. She seemed to float along, completely silent, melding with the crowd until she said or did something to get somebody's attention, not always intentionally.

"Bright! Hey!" He rubbed the back of his neck, careful not to jostle the hat. "It's uh, it's okay. And this is just... one of Fluttershy's animals. We're hanging out."

Squirrels could supposedly make good pets, but he wasn't sure Wooyoo would appreciate a sibling, even if the tiny dog may find it novel having a friend around even smaller than she was. Best to just not mention it to Fluttershy when he went back. She'd probably excitedly start singing a song about how great squirrels were.

"Oh, cool." She dropped into place on the bench next to him, and grabbed a few seeds. "Did she tell you the little guy's name?"

He blinked at her choice to sit with him, and watched her feed the little squirrel a few seeds as well. "She called him Mr. Cheeks."

Bright snickered a little. "Yeah, that sounds like Fluttershy."

The two chatted for a while, with Mr. Cheeks supplying the occasional interjecting chitter. Bulk always felt comfortable talking to Bright, who never seemed to mind whenever a conversation lapsed into silence. She kept the silences comfortable, the way she'd lean back a bit and smile, seeming to just be enjoying the moment without any need to hasten its end with a new topic.

But eventually she did something that Bulk hadn't realized he'd been dreading. Her eyes went upward, and she asked, "So, new hat?"

He froze up. The hat suddenly felt all the more uncomfortable on his head. "...Yes. Just bought it today. Do you like it?"

She nodded with a smile. "It's nice." She tilted her head, giving him a thoughtful look. "It just made me realize I always saw you with the old one, even during class. What changed?"

Bulk hesitated, and then he told her. He told her about his old hat being ruined, and getting a new one.

(He didn't mention how Mr. Cheeks got involved, that Fluttershy had seen--

Fluttershy had seen him like that. She saw him without his hat. She saw that he was...)

Bright looked up at him, and it felt like the single focused eye was looking through him. Her voice got softer, and she spoke in a way he rarely heard from her. It was a tone that he could only describe as maternal; they were both the same age, and yet she sounded like a parent trying to coax the truth out of a frightened child. "Is there a reason you always cover your head, Bulk?"

The silence reigned, and it was no longer comfortable.

Bulk wasn't sure that he had a best friend. He wasn't sure he had a lot of friends, period. Plenty of students seemed to like him well enough, but he didn't really spend a lot of time socializing or hanging out with any of them. He wasn't sure if he had a best friend, and yet... if he did, Bright was probably it. Something clicked when he was around her, something worked and made the awkwardness go away.

Bulk reached up, and took hold of his hat, the one that just didn't feel right.

(Had the old one felt any better?)

He lifted it.

Along the sides of his head were the blonde locks everybody associated with him. On top of it was nothing.

Bright's eyes widened slightly, and she let out a soft, "Oh."

He lowered the hat again, covering his shame. "Just 'oh'?"

Bright shrugged. "I mean, given what our high school is like? I was half-expecting you to be hiding a second face. A bald spot is pretty mundane."

The resulting mental image from those words was discarded as quickly as it was conjured, off to haunt his dreams. There were more important things to focus on now. "It's not just a spot! It's nearly my whole head! I'm not even out of high school and my hair is nearly gone!"

"So?"

"What do you mean 'so'?!" The outburst sent Mr. Cheeks scurrying. Bright didn't seem fazed as Bulk loomed over her, his voice raising in volume. "I'm bald! At sixteen!"

"And?"

"And if anyone saw it, they'd... they'd..."

"Fluttershy saw, right?" Bright's voice was quiet, but there was something else there now, something Bulk couldn't quite place. "You mentioned that she was nearby. How did she react?"

"She..." He glanced around, and found Mr. Cheeks huddled nearby. He instantly felt guilty for scaring the little guy. "She... comforted me... and helped me cover up until I could get a new hat." His voice surged again with defiance. "But that's Fluttershy, she's--"

"And how did I react, just now?" She still didn't seem fazed by him, speaking patiently.

"...With an 'oh.' But--"

"I know how you feel." He blinked at her in surprise, and she continued, "You're a big, strong guy, but that's not all you are, and you've got that fear there, of what happens when somebody sees the rest."

"I..." He couldn't bring himself to deny it.

"Your favourite colour is pink. You play the violin. You have the tiniest puffball of a dog that I've ever seen. And you love all of that, but when you walk down a street or a hallway showing any of it, you feel the eyes. You're waiting for the judgement."

Bright's voice wasn't calm anymore.

"You're waiting for the people who don't know you, and will never care to get to know you, to take one look at what makes you different from what they consider normal and suddenly it's all about that, all the assumptions and jokes about the eyes--"

She'd gotten to her feet, while speaking. And that was the moment she stopped, took a breath, and sat back down.

"...And this isn't about me. Sorry, Bulk."

He stared at her, and worked his jaw, trying to find the right words. "You don't... You shouldn't be ashamed of your eyes."

Bright shrugged. "I'm not. I just get tired of the reactions. Of the people who take one look at me and think I'm stupid."

"Nobody thinks--"

"Don't lie to me, Bulk. You know now that I'm a budding chemist. But when we first met, you thought I was a ditz. You were nice about it, but I could still see it in your eyes."

He thought back to that moment. Bright had been quietly blending in... until she'd tripped over his backpack as it sat on the hallway floor and crashed directly into him. She'd been carrying muffins for a school bake sale, and the baked goods had gone flying in every direction. Somewhere between trying to clean up the mess and profuse apologies in both directions, he'd gained a new friend.

"I..." His words came out weakly. "In my defense, I didn't know yet that you have problems with depth perception. And I did take the time to get to know you after."

Bright smiled, and nodded. "You did. And that's why I like you." She frowned again. "I can't cover up my eye the way you can your hair. Not as easily. An eyepatch can help with my headaches, but it's still conspicuous. So... I know why you hide, and I... don't resent you for doing it."

"Bright..."

"But there's also a point where you need to prioritize. And would you rather focus your energy meeting and getting to know the people who'll understand, or on trying to impress everybody else?"

Bulk looked at her. Bright Eyes was, possibly, the prettiest girl he'd ever met. He wasn't the only one who'd expressed that sentiment, either, but he'd more than once heard a but or except following the words. Or, worse, for a. The qualifiers kept coming, and he was sure she'd heard them all too.

It was the kind of thing he'd pictured with himself, every time. That someone may say he had a good physique... and there would come the but, the except, and the for a.

His hands went to the new hat, and pulled it off. He toyed with it, passing it from hand to hand. "Hey, Bright?"

She managed a smile. "Yes?"

He took a breath. "Do you want to go out sometime?"

One pretty golden eye focused on him while the other drifted, but both widened in shock. "Are you...? Oh geez, you're actually serious."

"...Yeah." He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's okay to say no. I just figured--"

"Oh no, no no no." She jabbed her finger into the centre of his chest. "You do not get to backpeddal on me, Bulk Biceps. I'd be happy to go out with you."

His face lit up. "Really?"

She laughed. "Of course, you big squishy marshmallow. I already like hanging out with you. Why not give an upgrade a try?"

He gave a few nervous chuckles. "Y-yeah, that's what I was thinking, too..."

Sensing that the tense atmosphere had faded, Mr. Cheeks scampered back up onto the bench. He chattered at Bulk, curiously, and looked up at him as if to ask whether he wanted him to return to toupee duty.

Bulk shook his head, and offered Mr. Cheeks another seed. "No, it's okay, little buddy. I'm feeling better about it now."

Bright smiled, and gave him a nudge. "Proud of you."

Bulk smiled back, a bit. He would put the new hat on again before he went back to the mall. He still wasn't comfortable with the thought of walking through such a big crowd with his head bare. Maybe someday, but not today.

He would, however, go back to that one shop and see if they had one of those pink T-shirts with cute bunnies on them in his size. And if the store's employees looked at him funny...

Well, he wouldn't be wearing it for them. He'd be doing it for himself. And it was about time he did.