The "Talk"

by Neonz

Rating: teen
Tags: Snails, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Rarity, Sex, Applejack, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4810

Applejack misinterprets the CMCs retelling of a schoolyard event and enlists Rarity to teach them the "facts of life".

Applejack knew that Apple Bloom was growing up, and she knew that one day it would be her job to tell her about where baby ponies come from, why she suddenly has weird feelings for colts (or fillies, maybe), and what happens to mares every summer that brings the previous two facts full circle. She just didn't think that time would be now. And she also didn't think she'd have to tell her sister's two best friends about it at the same time.

In hindsight, Rarity probably wasn't the best pony to run to for help.

Published 2023-12-11 23:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-12-11 23:20:00 UTC

The what goes where?!

Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle raced out of their classroom as the end-of-day bell clanged. They'd quickly found that for most ponies with a cutie mark, school was just a distraction from their true talent. For the Cutie Mark Crusaders – that name now as permanent as the shield etched into their collective flanks – school was a fantastic opportunity to secure more clientele.

“Y'sure you don't have any questions for us?” Apple Bloom asked anxiously, following a little too closely behind their classmate, Twist.

Twist politely shook her head, which all three of the Crusaders ignored. “Yeah!” Sweetie Belle added. “I mean, you might think you know what your cutie mark means, but it actually could mean something totally different.”

“Well...” Twist said, still walking. “I do really like making candy, but I like other thingths too. Like... dancthing!”

Scootaloo studied Twist's candy cane cutie mark as she tried to shuffle away from them. “Hm, two poles curved into the shape of a heart...” The group tried to come up with an alternate solution, then sighed. “Nah, I guess that's gotta represent your love of making candy,” Scootaloo concluded.

Twist shrugged and waved goodbye. The Crusaders sat in a defeated circle in the schoolyard. “This is hard,” Sweetie Belle whined. “Nopony has any cutie mark problems for us!”

Apple Bloom scanned the yard, her eyes finally landing on Snips and Snails. “What about those two?” She asked, pointing. “Ah dunno if they even know what month it is, let alone what their destinies are.”

“Guess we could ask,” Scootaloo agreed.

The three ran over. “Hi Snips, hi Snails!” Apple Bloom greeted.

“We wanted to know what your cutie marks mean,” Sweetie Belle said. Scootaloo kicked her, and her eyes widened. “Uh – I mean – what you think they mean. Because we totally know. It's our job and all.”

Snips raised a hoof in the air. “Oh! Mine's 'cause I'm really good at cutting stuff.” He grinned a little too proudly for the level of coolness a cutting mark provided, so the three looked at Snails instead.

Snails shrugged, his gaze focused aloofly into the distance. “Always thought it was 'cause I'm patient, like a snail...”

Snips nudged him. “Snails! What about that cool spell you can do?” He grinned. “I always thought that was your talent.”

“A spell?” Scootaloo asked eagerly.

“A lot of unicorn talents are tied to magic,” Sweetie Belle added, smiling.

“Show us, then!” Apple Bloom encouraged.

“Well...” Snails drawled, his horn slowly lighting up. “Okay, I guess I could show you...”

...

The three Crusaders raced off to Sweet Apple Acres and found Applejack on the edge of the farm's fields, taking a manual count of several buckets full of apples. She paused as she noticed her sister and two friends running towards her, and greeted them with a smile. “Hey Apple Bloom, how was school?”

“Great!” Apple Bloom chirped. “Is it okay if I go with the others to visit Rarity?”

“And maybe Twilight,” Scootaloo chimed in, “if Rarity can't answer our questions.”

Applejack tipped her head. “Questions? What kinda questions you got that you need Rarity and Twilight? Y'all know they're mighty busy these days, what with runnin' three stores and princess duties.”

“It's a unicorn thing,” Sweetie Belle said, tapping her horn with a smile.

“Oh...” Applejack said, then paused. “Wait, why do all three of y'all need to be askin'?”

Apple Bloom shook her head. “It's not about Sweetie Belle, it's about a unicorn colt in our class!”

Applejack waited for her to elaborate, then when she didn't say anything further, sighed and continued with “That really doesn't explain anythin', sugarcube.”

“Well...” Apple Bloom started, looking like she was thinking really hard. “He did some kind of magic on us. Made us feel really... weird.”

“Yeah!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed, nodding vigorously. “It was like... like I felt really, I don't know, warm. Warm, and happy, and my heart was going really fast...”

Applejack had barely enough time to quirk a brow at the unicorn filly before Scootaloo flew into her own recount. “Yeah! Really warm, and my thoughts were all jumbled up, like I couldn't think straight – and I was sweating like crazy.”

“Same here!” Apple Bloom added, “sweatin' like a pig – and then – all of a sudden – we all went like this!” Apple Bloom slumped the front of her body to the ground, and raised her rump and tail into the air -

Applejack widened her eyes and immediately smacked her sister's bottom back to the ground. “Land's sake, Apple Bloom!” she hissed, immediately going red as the girls giggled. The fillies' recounts were starting to sound like... like... oh Celestia, she really thought she had a few more years until Apple Bloom's first heat cycle. She became acutely aware that the three Crusaders were blinking innocently up at her, so Applejack cleared her throat. “Uh, okay, Apple Bloom, we need to talk in private about what it is that happened to ya back in school today.”

The three girls shared concerned looks. “Well,” Apple Bloom said, her brow furrowed seriously, “if you know what was up with Snails's magic, can't you just tell all three of us?”

“...Uh...” Applejack stared at the trio as they looked pleadingly up at her. “Well, no – no – this is, uh, really more of the kind of thing your parents are supposed to tell ya about. Grown pony stuff.”

Sweetie Belle sighed. “Mine are out of town.”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Mine are literally always out of town.”

“And you ain't my mother!” Apple Bloom said, ears flattening accusingly.

Applejack gulped. “W-well - ”

“Oh, I know!” Scootaloo exclaimed, her wings buzzing in excitement. “I'll go ask Rainbow Dash to tell me!”

Applejack's pupils narrowed to pinheads. “No!” she said, certainly too aggressively, as the three were giving her weird looks again. “I mean – uh – maybe you could talk to your aunts about it, Scootaloo?”

Scootaloo tilted her head. “You're acting weird Applejack, but they're in town, so I guess I could ask them.”

Applejack sighed in relief. “Okay, good, you go do that.” She turned as Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle shrugged and ran off, her heart rate already starting to climb in anticipation. “C'mon then, Apple Bloom - ”

“Oh, hold on,” Apple Bloom said, racing to catch up with her friends. “Ah forgot – Ah left my crusader cape at Scootaloo's place!”

“You don't need your...” Applejack groaned as Apple Bloom raced out of sight. “Horseapples. What am Ah gonna tell her?” She started pacing, brain wracking to come up with something both honest and age appropriate. Surely she of all ponies should be able to do that, right? When two ponies love each other... no, no, that was the little kid version. This needed to be the big kid version. She gulped.

Not ten minutes later, Apple Bloom, flanked shortly by Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, raced back to the farm. They paused as they took sight of Applejack pacing wide eyed around the apple buckets. The three glanced at each other. “Uh, Applejack?” Apple Bloom said gently, causing her older sister to jump.

“O-oh, there ya are – I'm, uh, not sure I'm totally ready for this, but...” Applejack trailed off, her eyes finally landing on Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. “Wait, why are you two back here?”

“Funny story!” Apple Bloom chimed happily as her sister looked about ready to run back to the barn and hide under her bed.

“Well, I went back to my aunts' place, like you said,” Scootaloo said. “And we told them everything we told you, and how you were gonna tell Apple Bloom about it...” Scootaloo smiled widely. “Well, they said if you could please do them a favour and tell me too, they would super appreciate it.” Her face screwed up in confusion. “Also, I'm supposed to tell you that I trust you and you're way more qualified than them, or something like that.”

Applejack's stare turned to horror as Sweetie Belle giggled and added “they said please, like, fifteen times – it was really funny.”

“A-and, you!” Applejack stuttered, pointing a shaky hoof at Sweetie Belle. “Why are you here? Why don't you go ask Rarity?”

Sweetie Belle tilted her head. “Well,” she said sweetly, “you were the one who said Rarity was really busy, and you were gonna tell Apple Bloom and Scootaloo anyways, so I thought...”

Applejack groaned. “Nope,” she said, and began trotting off in the direction of town. “Ah don't care if she's busy. If Ah have to give y'all the talk, she does too.”

“The what?!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “What talk?” Applejack just continued to trot, then canter, then gallop toward Rarity's house, and the three Crusaders glanced at each other in confusion as they tried to keep up.

...

The bell on Rarity's door clinked pleasantly as Applejack threw it open, panting for air. The three fillies behind her ran gleefully past. Sweetie Belle led them toward a wall of fabric, which all of them immediately started pulling at.

Rarity trotted out from another room and pulled her red glasses off with her magic. She flattened her ears at the three Crusaders and turned to glare at Applejack. “Why do you hate me?”

Applejack rubbed the back of her neck. “...You don't know the half of it.”

“Girls!” Rarity commanded, though her scolding fell on deaf ears. “What are you doing here?”

The three pointed absently at Applejack, and Rarity glared at her again with twice the intensity. “Can we borrow some fabric, Rarity?” Sweetie Belle asked, eyes wide and hopeful.

“Please?” Apple Bloom added, bouncing a bit on the spot. “When Ah went to get my cape, we got to thinkin' – we should make new ones, with our new cutie marks on 'em!”

“Enough about the capes,” Applejack said in exasperation. She looked awkwardly between Rarity and the three fillies and bravely cleared her throat. “A-all right, why don't you three tell Rarity about what happened at school today...”

...

“...And then!” Sweetie Belle continued the recount as Rarity increasingly grew redder, “we all dropped to the ground, like this!” This time all three of the Crusaders helpfully demonstrated the face down, behind up pose that Apple Bloom had shown earlier, and Rarity screeched and quickly used her magic to flip them back over, where they wobbled back into a seat and stared hopefully up at the older ponies.

“Modesty, Sweetie Belle!” Rarity scolded, eyes widening in horror.

“Y'didn't let us finish showin' you,” Apple Bloom argued, tilting her head. Applejack glared at her and she quieted.

“Oh dear...” Rarity said, the panic evident in her eyes. “Um, would you girls give me and Applejack a moment?”

Rarity yanked Applejack into the other room, completely ignoring the girls even as they immediately started looking at her fabric again. “They are way too young for – for – for that!” Rarity hissed, pointing frantically at the trio.

“They did recently get their cutie marks, Rarity,” Applejack pointed out nervously. “Sometimes that can be a puberty trigger.”

“Oh my dear stars...” Rarity took several deep breaths. Applejack was surprised she didn't pass out. “But... but... it's nowhere near summer – this can't possibly be their first heat cycle!” She sunk dramatically to the ground. “And certainly not while my parents are away on vacation, please Celestia, no!”

Applejack nudged her back to standing. “Sometimes the first one can be wonky. Mine was in the dead of winter.”

Rarity frowned. “Oh you poor dear, was it really?” She looked out at the three fillies laughing and unrolling patterns. “I suppose it might be possible then – oh goodness, what do we do?!” She turned on Applejack, wide-eyed. “This is not my responsibility, Applejack! My mother is meant to tell Sweetie Belle this sort of thing!”

Applejack sat on her haunches and fiddled with her hat. “Well – my parents ain't around anymore, and poor lil Scootaloo's ain't around much either...” Applejack looked pleadingly up at Rarity, who threw a hoof sympathetically to her heart. “Please, Rarity, this needs to be done now – not when your parents are home from vacation. And Ah really don't know how to do it on my own.”

Rarity frowned. “...Did you really just play the dead parents card?”

Applejack nodded. “Ah did.”

“But you never play that card!” Applejack continued to pout at her until she groaned. “Okay, fine! Fine, I'll help you give them “the talk”!”

“Thanks, Rares...” The two stared into the other room awkwardly. “So, uh, how are we gonna do this?”

Rarity steeled herself with a look of determination, as if readying herself to battle a raging manticore. (Applejack would have preferred the manticore, herself.) “Well, there's no other way around it, is there?” Rarity said decisively. “We just have to get in there and do it – and then it will be over and I can get back to work.” Applejack smiled sheepishly and followed behind as Rarity confidently trotted into the other room and locked her front door.

“Girls, come here, please!” Rarity called, and the three zipped over. Apple Bloom had brought with her a bright green fabric roll, and she held it up to Rarity.

“Do y'think this goes with our coats?” She asked, smiling and fiddling with it.

Rarity grimaced. “No, darling. I will help you with that later.”

“Enough with the capes!” Applejack yelled. Apple Bloom's ears finally flattened at the reprimand. She put the fabric to the side and joined Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo in staring up at their sisters.

“Applejack...” Apple Bloom started. The three friends glanced worriedly between each other. “Is somethin' wrong?”

Applejack opened her mouth to reassure her, but a lump in her throat surfaced and blocked a response. Her little sister was still just so... little. It was so hard to imagine her maturing into an adult pony with adult desires and needs. Rarity quickly took notice and responded in her stead. “No, no, little ones, nothing is wrong,” she said hastily, nudging Applejack and mouthing 'please pull it together!' She smiled maybe a little too widely at the girls. “What you experienced today was perfectly natural and completely normal for your age.”

“It is?” Applejack squeaked out. Rarity glared at her.

The girls tilted their heads curiously. “Oh,” Sweetie Belle finally said. “So what Snails did is something every unicorn can do, you mean?”

“N-no,” Applejack stuttered, clearing her throat. “I-I mean, it ain't just unicorns that can do that. Any stallion – or, colt, in your case – can have that effect on you, now that you're, er, a bit older.”

The three glanced between each other. “Really?” Apple Bloom finally asked, brow quirked skeptically. “Big Mac's never had that effect on me.”

Applejack's eyes widened to saucers and she literally choked on her response, coughing as Rarity patted her back. “Er, yes,” Rarity continued awkwardly, “and there are so many reasons we are both very thankful to hear that.” Applejack regained herself somewhat, but took to staring wide-eyed into space. “But it isn't just stallions that can have that effect – mares can too! It all depends on your personal preferences.” Rarity looked pointedly at Applejack. “I'd have thought you of all ponies would have thought to mention that?”

Applejack flushed red. “W-well, they said it was a colt, so - ”

“Wait – so – ” Apple Bloom said suddenly, looking back and forth between Applejack and Rarity. “You're saying mares have that effect on you, Applejack? Like, all mares?”

“Ah, uh,” Applejack took a breath – this was important – this was educational - “er, no, not all mares, and not all the time.”

Sweetie Belle pointed curiously at her sister. “Does Rarity have that effect on you, Applejack?”

Rarity giggled as Applejack stared at the ceiling, willing it to open a portal and consume her. “Ah'm not sure there's a right answer to that question, Sweetie Belle,” Applejack finally answered.

“Oh, come now,” Rarity said teasingly, “I may not swing the same way as you, but I would hardly be offended if you admitted it. Not like I haven't caught you sneaking a look every now and then.” Applejack continued to stare at the ceiling as the fillies giggled. Maybe Twilight would hear her psychic pleas and rescue her.

“Anyways,” Applejack said, teeth gritted. “Back to you three – the colt that had this effect on you, er, what was his name again?”

“Snails,” the three supplied simultaneously.

“Snails?” Rarity asked, quirking a brow. “As in, that lanky little unicorn that plays buckball with Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie?” An image was forming in Applejack's mind too at the reminder. Rarity grimaced, glancing at Applejack. “Really thought my sister would have higher standards,” she muttered.

Applejack shrugged. “Well, you know how the heat can be,” she whispered back, “not like they have control over it.”

“Poor things...” Rarity murmured. The three Crusaders were muttering among themselves too. Rarity cleared her throat, regaining their attention. “Er, yes, well... how do I put this...” Rarity blushed and took a deep breath. “Well, usually this only happens to mares in the summer, but sometimes the first cycle can be a little... wonky.” Applejack nodded encouragingly, gesturing her to continue with a hoof. “This is what makes you feel and act funny in front of a stallion. See, well, stallions have a-a... 'special appendage' that they can use to...er ...”

Rarity trailed awkwardly off, and Scootaloo helpfully picked up the dialogue. “Special appendage – like horns or wings?”

“No,” Applejack said at the same time that Rarity said “well, in a way.”

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Well, duh, it's a horn – otherwise how could they do that magic?”

“Because,” Scootaloo argued, “Applejack said all stallions could do it, and some mares, too! Not just unicorns.”

“It's not a horn,” Applejack said, deadpan.

Rarity scoffed. “Like you'd know anything about either interpretation of a horn.” Applejack flushed again. “Besides,” Rarity said thoughtfully, “sometimes it literally is one.”

“What do you mean?” Sweetie Belle asked, eyes wide.

“Oh, well,” Rarity said, flustered. “I suppose it's important for you to know. You see Sweetie Belle, with unicorns, sometimes our horns can get, well, rather sensitive during this period. That's what I mean.”

“Pegasus wings, too,” Applejack added.

Rarity smirked. “Now those you would know, wouldn't you?” Applejack groaned and looked once again at the ceiling.

Apple Bloom curiously went to touch Scootaloo's wings, and Applejack smacked her hoof away. “No, no, do not touch those. Not right now.”

“They feel fine,” Scootaloo said, quirking a brow. “Okay, so, let me get this straight – because we're older now, we can feel this magic that stallions put off, and it makes us feel weird, including our wings and horn?”

“Yes!” Rarity said, pointing joyously at the young pegasus, who jumped back in surprise. “Precisely, Scootaloo!” She turned to Applejack with a smile. “We can probably cut it there, can't we? We answered their question - ”

“But why does it make us feel weird?” Sweetie Belle piped up. Rarity's eye twitched.

“And why does it make us go like this - ” Apple Bloom started to demonstrate the position again, but Applejack hastily reached out a hoof to stop her.

“Well, uh,” Applejack started, scratching her head, “you see - ”

“It's just one of many of life's mysteries!” Rarity loudly cut across with a nervous laugh and started trotting across the room. “Okay, now fabric, you three were looking for - ”

“Rarity!” Applejack growled.

The three Crusaders looked at each other, collectively shrugged, and turned around and headed for the exit. “Well, thanks for tryin' to explain,” Apple Bloom started.

“But I think we should go ask Princess Twilight,” Scootaloo finished.

Sweetie Belle nodded in agreement. “If it's one of life's mysteries, maybe she's studying it!”

Rarity's horn lit up and she held the door closed as Apple Bloom reached for the lock. “I promise you, Twilight is not studying it.” She rolled her eyes. “I doubt she's any experience on the subject at all, honestly.”

Apple Bloom turned skeptically toward Rarity and Applejack. “And you're sayin' you two do? What in the hay would you know more about than Twilight – aside from apples and fashion?”

Rarity and Applejack glanced at each other. “We ain't finished explainin' yet,” Applejack implored. Rarity groaned. “Well, see...” Applejack shuffled awkwardly. “Rarity mentioned the 'special appendage' that stallions have. Well, it's meant to, er, go – inside of you.” The Crusaders glanced at each other with raised brows. Applejack sighed. “Y'know when you, er, put your behinds in the air like that?” The fillies nodded. “It's meant to go – uh – in there.”

Finally, the look of horror that Applejack was expecting melted onto their faces. “What?!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed, curling her tail subconsciously. “Why?!”

“Even wings?!” Scootaloo gasped.

“No,” Applejack said at the same time that Rarity said “depends on how adventurous you are, I suppose.” The two mares turned to stare judgmentally at each other. Scootaloo pulled on her wings, as if trying to figure out the physics involved.

“Poor Rainbow Dash...” Rarity muttered, giving Applejack a side look. “You really never considered trying that?”

“H-how in the hay are you meant to - ?!” Applejack quieted as she remembered she was in the presence of their younger sisters. Sweetie Belle looked about ready to burst into tears, Apple Bloom looked like she might throw up, and Scootaloo was still staring incredulously at her wings.

“W-why?!” Apple Bloom stuttered, still staring skeptically between Applejack and Rarity.

“Well, darlings...” Rarity said, trotting over to comfort Sweetie Belle by stroking her back. “It's just how nature works! It's actually how little baby ponies are made, and I promise it is not as horrific as it sounds. It can actually be very fun.” Rarity quirked a brow at Applejack. “So long as your partner isn't too much of a stick in the mud, at least.”

“A-Ah'm plenty fun,” Applejack argued, stamping a hoof. “Dang it, Rarity, they don't need to know about our personal lives to understand this stuff!”

“Baby ponies?” Scootaloo questioned, tilting her head.

“Yup,” Applejack said with a nod. “Well, so long as you're with a stallion, that is. That's how the baby pony gets inside the mom's belly.”

The three Crusaders glanced at each other, then simultaneously back up at Applejack and Rarity. “I thought baby ponies were made by having sex?” Apple Bloom asked. Applejack and Rarity quieted, silently staring at the foals as the gears turned in their heads.

“Yeah,” Sweetie Belle continued slowly. “That's what mom told me, Rarity... that during heat, a stallion's penis goes in a mare's vagina, and then eleven months later, a baby pony is born!”

“But,” Scootaloo said, glancing inquisitively up at Rarity and Applejack. “You're saying it's really a strange type of magic and you have to use your horns and wings?”

“A-Apple Bloom!” Applejack finally spluttered. “Y-you know about – who in the hay told you that?!”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo both pointed at Sweetie Belle, who blushed. “Well,” Sweetie Belle started, “my mom told me, and said that usually moms tell their daughters this kinda stuff... I knew Apple Bloom and Scootaloo's moms weren't around, so, I thought I should tell them...” Apple Bloom and Scootaloo hugged Sweetie Belle with awws of appreciation. “But,” Sweetie Belle continued, ears flattening. “Maybe I didn't pay attention well enough. I'm really sorry if I told you girls something wrong.”

Applejack sat back and resumed staring at the ceiling. This whole time, that tiny little unicorn filly had fulfilled the one duty as a surrogate mother that she'd dreaded the most. If she'd learned this an hour ago, Applejack would have taken Sweetie Belle out for ice cream.

“S-Sweetie Belle!” Rarity exclaimed, rubbing a hoof on her forehead in frustration. “If you know so much about sex, why didn't you three recognize that you are in heat?!”

The Crusaders glanced between each other. “We ain't in heat!” Apple Bloom insisted. “Wait – you thought – this whole time - ”

“That only happens in the summer, Rarity,” Sweetie Belle supplied helpfully.

Scootaloo's mouth fell open and she turned to Applejack. “Wait, you're sleeping with Rainbow Dash?!”

Apple Bloom's ears flattened and she came to stand next to Scootaloo. “You said Rainbow Dash was over so early the other day to help with the chores!” Her eyes bulged as she looked between Applejack, who was refusing eye contact, and Rarity, who was trying desperately not to laugh. “And then she actually stayed and helped for the whole day! And that was just a cover story?!”

Applejack gave a silent wish to Celestia to kill her where she stood, and when it didn't happen, sighed and responded with “yes.”

“Did not need to know that,” Apple Bloom muttered. Scootaloo was still staring in shock with her mouth open.

“Wait,” Sweetie Belle said, looking back and forth between her friends and their sisters. “Why did you think we were... you know – in heat?”

Applejack, dignity and composure lost, could barely stutter out a response. “Y-y'all said you felt warm, and sweaty, and you – you were – presentin' yourselves!”

The Crusaders rolled their eyes. “Ah told you!” Apple Bloom said, stamping her little hoof. “It was a spell that Snails did!”

“An actual spell,” Sweetie Belle continued, pointing aggressively at her horn. “We saw his horn light up.”

“And you didn't let us finish before!” Scootaloo continued, nodding at the other two. The three, with glares at their sisters, raised their hindquarters in the air again. Both Rarity and Applejack suppressed the urge to stop them, and watched in confusion as the three youngsters brought their entire bodies flat to the ground – and then raised their flanks in the air – and then back to the ground, edging slowly forward across the boutique's floor with every move.

They were crawling like... “a snail,” Rarity concluded flatly. The Crusaders bounced to their hooves, tilting their heads at Rarity.

“A snail?” Sweetie Belle asked, then pointed intently at Scootaloo, who immediately repeated the motion so Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle could watch.

“You're right!” Apple Bloom exclaimed as Scootaloo got up. “It is like a snail!”

Sweetie Belle gasped. “That must be the link to Snails's cutie mark! The spell makes you act like a snail!”

“Right!” Scootaloo agreed eagerly. “That's why we got all sweaty – slimy like a snail, and we felt all slow, but like, in a good way.”

Apple Bloom nodded. “Yup – that's gotta be it, Snails is probably right that his talent is bein' patient... but he's also got a way to make other ponies feel just like he does!”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes with a smile. “The sweat side effect is kinda gross though. Maybe we could find a way to fix that?”

Sweetie Belle turned to Applejack and Rarity. “And apparently it's what heat is like...?” Applejack nodded slowly, which seemed good enough for the Crusaders, who grimaced. “Weird. Anyways, we should probably go find Snails.”

Apple Bloom looked seriously at the two adult ponies. “Can we agree to never mention this discussion again?” Rarity and Applejack both nodded. “Alright. Uh, well, thanks for... tryin', I guess. Bye.” The three threw awkward glances backward and muttered intently to each other as they unlocked the boutique door and hurried away.

Applejack and Rarity stared at the door for a few moments. “Well,” Applejack finally said, with a pointed glare at Rarity. “That was a disaster. Did y'have to drag Dash into this?! Now I gotta tell her that not only do the kids know about us, they know we apparently don't do enough wing-play either.”

Rarity scoffed. “Oh, please – none of this would have happened if you hadn't brought the three of them to my storefront!” She began magically rearranging the fabric that the Crusaders had pulled down as she talked. “Besides, now Rainbow doesn't have to spend her day bucking apples every time your little sister catches you, and you've learned another use for pegasus wings. I did you both several favours, really.”

Applejack rubbed her forehead and walked to the exit. “Can the agreement to never mention this again apply to us too?”

Rarity nodded, ears flat. “Yes. Please.”

“Agreed to forget everything?”

“Agreed.” Rarity magically clinked her door's entrance bell and popped into a bright smile. “Welcome to Carousel Boutique, Applejack! Can't imagine the reason you're here – perhaps looking for some special lingerie as an apology present for a certain pegasus friend?” Applejack turned tail and trotted out as Rarity laughed after her.