Maple Falls, Ontario
December 24

“There it is, Bon Bon!” Lyra squealed, pointing through the gently falling snow. “The most romantic spot in all of Canada — Fudgepackers!”

“Are you sure?” Bon Bon asked with puzzlement. “It just says ‘Maple Falls Fudge Shoppe...’”

“I’d recognize that shop window anywhere! Look, it’s still covered with Slade’s cum!” Indeed, the many icicles of frozen sperm that had been fired against the shop window formed a beautiful shape like that of a frozen waterfall.

“But the cum is on the outside of the window...” Bon Bon pointed out skeptically.

Heedless of this incongruity, Lyra was already opening the door to the warm candy shop, letting its bell ring out cheerfully. Yet no sooner had the unicorn set a hoof inside, than the human male who stood at the counter was waving his arms at her and yelling angrily.

“Get out!” he cried, more with frustration than any hint of genuine anger. “I’m sick and tired of you God damn ponies! Get out and stay out!”

“Whoa, calm down, dude!” Lyra responded.

Bon Bon shook her head with disgust. “Geeze, and I thought Canadians were polite!”

“S-sorry,” said the human, hanging his head with patriotic shame as he realized how he’d disgraced his homeland. “You can come in and look around, just please don’t do... what you were going to do.”

As she trotted inside, Bon Bon hungrily gazed at the very tables Slade had conquered Becca on. Each was the perfect height for tying Lyra down and hoofing her til she hosed the floor down with her squirt. She’d hoped that the shopkeeper might even join in, giving the couple their first taste of real ape dick! Yet it seemed he was determined to be a wet blanket, forbidding even the most wholesome of couples’ Christmas sex. Bon Bon was so close to being able to fulfill her marefriend’s fantasy (and her own, to be quite honest!)... yet this lousy human was standing in the way!

“What’s wrong?” Lyra asked the human enthusiastically. “Can we help?” She was so excited about their successful mission to the North Pole, that she saw another ruined holiday as an opportunity to make everything better. Of course, when it came to a dirty bathtub or a sink full of dishes... that was the sort of “friendship problem” that Agent Sweetie Drops had to handle all by herself!

“I’m sorry,” the human repeated Canadianly, “it’s just that you ponies are ruining my business! I hardly sell any fudge anymore, because all you want to do is fuck on my tables and quote some dumb movie!”

“Hey, it’s not dumb!” Lyra objected. “We’re talking about Becca’s Christmas Wish, the first Earth movie to win Celestia’s golden ‘I Clopped To This’ award!”

“Huh?” The man hit his head with a palm. “Becca’s Christmas Wish? I was talking about A Cowgirl Country Christmas!”

“Ooh, that one’s fun too!” Lyra agreed. “They never fucked cowgirl style, though... I wonder why it was called that?”

“Geeze, I can’t even tell them apart anymore... ladies, dozens of Christmas movies are filmed here in Maple Falls every year!” The exasperated human looked out his jizz stained window, silently cursing the festive small town outside and its perfect suitability for cinematic tales of holiday cheer. “From April to September, it’s nothing but fake snow and fake smiles. Then the real Christmas season starts, but we can’t enjoy it anymore, eh?”

“Awww, that’s so sad...” Lyra put a gentle hoof on the human’s leg, then let it slowly drift towards his crotch, sizing him up. “Maybe I could deepthroat you a little, to cheer you up?”

Yet the human swiftly brushed away Lyra’s roaming hoof. “Now that they’ve started showing Christmas movies in Equestria, I get no winter tourist traffic, only an endless flood of you equine perverts, trying to have sex in my store. I’ll be lucky if this place makes any money at all this year!”

“That doesn’t seem fair...” Bon Bon pointed out. “If humans can have sex in your store, why can’t ponies?”

“Don’t you get it?” the human shouted, fists clenched with frustration. “There’s no sex in here! Those scenes are shot in California, with pornstars! They edit them in, so they can sell to the Equestrian audience.”

“W-wait...” Lyra rubbed her horn with confusion. “Human movies are censored?”

“No, we get the original movies, and you horny horse hosers get a chopped up version with extra porn.”

“Hrm...” Hoof to her lips, Bon Bon pondered all the little things about Becca’s Christmas Wish that didn’t add up. The way Becca went from totally clothed to naked and sweaty, then back again in an instant... the way her chestboobs changed back and forth between cute little B cups and massive artificial bimbohonkers... the way she’d suddenly turn into a middle aged Asian woman whenever it was time for an anal scene... She’d thought these were just silly little continuity mistakes, but now it all made sense!

“Golly, we’re sorry for causing trouble,” Bon Bon offered. “We sure don’t want your store to go under.”

“Yeah, ponies are all about love and friendship!” Lyra added. “And we’re secret agents who specialize in saving Christmas! How can we help you?”

“Tell Equestrians not to come here!” the human pleaded. “I’m begging you, I’m at the end of my rope!”

“Ooh, you sell rope?” Lyra’s ears (and tail) perked up. “Can we do a bondage scene if we promise no penetration?”

Suddenly a lovely human female swinging a broom emerged from the kitchen in the store’s back room. “Out! Out!” she yelled. She was beating back a red pegasus stallion who was in the midst of a truly impressive orgasm. His massive horsecock flopped about as he tumbled through the air, flinging a huge rope of nut to slide like a liquid blanket across a slab of freshly cooked fudge that sat on the counter.

“God damn it, honey!” yelled the human male. “I told you not to let any in!”

“They sneaked in the back door!” his seeming mate protested. Lyra courteously held the door open for the plummeting pegasus, who rang the store bell as he crashed through the open doorway.

“Meteor, help me!” he cried out as his wings beat frantically. He swerved up and down in midair, tossing more fat loads against the frozen ropes of cum that already covered the shop window. He flew higher with every spurt, as the weight of his balls slowly diminished. “I can’t cum and fly at the same time!”

“I’ll save you, Peri!” shouted a surprisingly muscular unicorn mare, fleeing the woman’s broom and charging out of the shop, with her horn glowing and her teeth clenched.

The human male slammed the door shut and locked it, then turned with despair at the cum soaked fudge next to his cash register. A lake of gleaming silver liquid pooled atop the rich chocolatey candy as the put-upon human raged at his latest misfortune.

“Another batch of fudge ruined by these skanky horse sluts!” he wailed. “Why did I ever agree to let them film anything in here? Now everyone calls my place ‘Fudgepackers’ and it’s nothing but pony jizz, all over my floors, all over my food, all over my wife!”

“Oh, it’s OK, honey, I kinda like it now!” came the woman’s voice from the kitchen.

The human male gently picked up the slab of soiled fudge, grimacing at the thick layer of horse nut that swirled atop it like silvery jam. “Just look at this!” he insisted, showing it to the two drooling mares. “It’s ruined!”

“W-we’ll take the whole thing!” Bon Bon shouted greedily.

“Huh?” the human stopped short, about to drop the cum laden confection into his trash bin.

“It looks so yummy...” Lyra moaned.

“Yeah, serve it to us quick, before the cum gets cold!” Bon Bon urged.

“Erm... OK, but that’ll be 50 dollars each!” The human improvised swiftly.

“Canadian dollars?” Bon Bon scoffed. “Why, that’s nothing!”

Their saddlebags a bit lighter, Lyra and Bon Bon finally were allowed to sit at one of the coveted tables. Even though Slade and Becca had actually been fucking on a California porn set, the experience of being on the supposed spot of their meeting had both mares juicy down below, and ready to romp. They eagerly devoured huge slices of semen covered fudge, trying desperately to keep their hooves off of each others’ crotches as they moaned with enjoyment.

With this display of polite restraint, not to mention the heartwarming smiles of two ponies enjoying something sweet, the shopkeeper seemed to warm to his customers. He brought them complementary mugs of coffee, which they slurped from adorably. He then sat down next to the two mares, but only after thoroughly sanitizing his chair.

“Mmm, this is soo good!” Bon Bon squealed, relaxing in utmost luxury as the spermy fudge gangbanged her tongue with flavour. “Take it from a fellow chocolatier — you’ve got a real talent, Mr. Fudgepacker!”

“Yeah, the cum gives it such a special, romantic taste!” Lyra agreed. “Baby, why don’t you mix stallion cum into your fudge?”

“I do, duh!” Bon Bon scowled at her marefriend. “But that’s just it — I mix it in and cook it! Here the cum is fresh, and it’s spread right over the top, so you really get the flavour!”

“And it looks great, too!” Lyra admired the gooey topping before stuffing another slice of nutty fudge into her maw. Now that she’d had this sweet and salty treat, she didn’t want to eat fudge, or cum, any other way!

“Could it be I’ve been looking at this all wrong?” The store owner mused. “Maybe this isn’t a horse slut disaster, it’s a horse slut opportunity!”

“Yeah, you’re in a great business position.” Bon Bon licked fudge from her hooves as she encouraged the human to think bigger, and dirtier. “Ponies are crazy about cum and food play — it’s the secret to my success! I hired 5 stallions just to masturbate into the soft serve machine all day!”

As his grumpiness slowly lifted, the human smiled at the cheerful customers who’d shown him the light. These two mares in love made the perfect ambassadors from the world of ponies, spreading sunshine wherever they went. “The Equestrian versions of these Christmas movies...” he spoke tentatively. “You say they’re real hard core?”

“The hardest!” Bon Bon affirmed.

“Fucking and kissing!” Lyra added.

The man sighed and wiped his brow. “Man, what I wouldn’t give to see those on basic cable! My wife loves the romance of them holiday flicks, but the sweaters the chicks wear are so baggy, I’m lucky if I see the outline of a single tit! Of course, sometimes they’ll do one about a lesbo couple, that always gets me hard...”

“We can just give you copies of the Equestrian versions!” Lyra suggested. “Bon Bon’s got a zillion movies on her ‘laptop’ thing!”

“Ssshhh!” Bon Bon hissed. “I stole all of those movies, with Bitstorrent!”

Yet Lyra was far too excited about her brilliant idea to stop on such a technicality. “In fact, you could sell copies here! Tons of ponies come to Maple Falls to see the real live Fudgepackers, right?”

“Unfortunately, yes...” The man angrily shooed away a unicorn couple who were peeking hopefully into his window.

“Wait, those guys could be your best customers!” Lyra objected. “Look how horny they are — he’s unsheathing already! I bet they’d would love to have an overpriced copy of Becca’s Christmas Gift to take back to their motel!”

“Heck, you could even set up a place for couples to bang in the back!” Bon Bon trotted across the floor of the small shop and peeked into the kitchen, only to be hit with an angry broom and pushed back out. “Yeah, there’s plenty of room back there for all your Equestrian fans! Put an extra table back there, let them fuck in private, then pour their cum onto your fudge and sell it to the next couple!”

Bon Bon’s fellow confectioner stroked his chin thoughtfully. “Hrm... unsanitary candy, an illegal love hotel, and pirated DVDs? I like the way you girls think!”

“Yay!” Lyra cheered. “We saved Christmas!”

“You sure did,” the human admitted with a tear in his eye, “at least for this humble human. There’s no reason I can’t spread the spirit of the season and make a dirty profit!”

“Now, how about that blowjob?” Lyra offered. She cast a lustful eye once again at the tall, undoubtedly hung human. “Me and Bon Bon will start fooling around like naughty little fillies... then you can ‘catch’ us, and teach us how good human dick feels in our holes!”

“I’ve got a better idea,” the human suggested cheerfully. “Say, honey?” he called into the back room. “You know how you’ve always wanted to get it on with another woman?”

A feminine giggle was heard from the kitchen. “Baby, please! Not while there’s customers about!”

“Aww, don’t worry about that, honey,” the human male urged. “Come on out, I think I’ve just found your Christmas present...”

THE END
AGENT0007 AND AGENT 6969 WILL RETURN IN
“HORSEPUSSY”

Author's Note

Happy holidays to all! Please, don’t be like this guy... don’t wait til the day before to find that special present!