Fallout: Equestria - Most Dangerous Game

Chapter Fourteen:

Alicorns, the divine image of the princesses of Equestria themselves. The pinnacle of ponykind, literal goddesses to many races throughout the world. Jade had never seen one in person. Sure, she’d seen the posters, stained glass, murals, and even fuzzy images of Luna on terminal screens. She’d been there to witness many of the speeches, and the royal addresses, but never with her own eyes. Now she was gazing upon one such equine, her radiant mane, vast wings, and pearly coat. She was stunning, radiating an aura that almost seemed to drag every ounce of attention to her.

This kind of beauty is what they lost? She thought, as the gorgeous mare shone like a diamond in the stage light, mist pooling around her gem-studded hooves. How could any pony fight, knowing this was at stake?

There was a part of her just about ready to lay down and grovel at the hooves of a mare so benevolent. Yet there was also a far more reasonable side, a side that couldn’t help but feel the initial urge to bow was all a callus manipulation. Her machine brain studied the mare as if analyzing her for weakness, while another part of her cataloged the fact that the hooded stranger who’d been watching her was nowhere to be seen.

All eyes on the stage, perfect time for an ambush. She thought, seeing Ocean was just as captivated. The two of us could be ghosted right now and no pony here would even notice.

Not that it appeared any pony here cared enough about the two of them anyway, even the over-enthusiastic barmaids. Yet there wasn’t a sound under the dome as the lull deepened, and from the microphone hummed a soft breath. The pearly alicorn paused before it, her eyes closed, showing off her glamorous eye shadow and lustrous lashes as her wings folded and her downy breast swelled with a breath. Seconds later the air escaped, carrying with it a voice smooth as melted chocolate, with the cool touch of a summer’s breeze.

“The world is tough, our lives are rough.” The alicorn’s eyes remained sealed, her left forehoof wrapping around the microphone stand as she lifted her head. “The wasteland makes the greatest not good enough.”

The tune was dower, solemn even, yet thrummed with a deep passion that had Jade transfixed. It was like the show from the Aquarium, only here the rabble actually looked upon the performance with respect and awe, not cruel excitement. One glance at Ocean and it was clear the Hippogriff seemed to recognize the similarities, almost envy them. Yet it was also just enough for Jade to catch sight of the hooded figure weaving between the transfixed crowd beyond the armored hybrid.

“Yet for all your toil and trouble, I offer a deal worth double,” the alicorn sang on, lifting her head, opening her eyes, and smirking a sultry smirk to just about every pony gawking at her. “Let me be good to you.”

She spoke every word of that sentence as if to a lover, each syllable expressed with the sheer radiance of her glamorous voice as Jade did her best to peer around Ocean, only to see nothing. Of course, that was the moment the music once again roared to life as the alicorn shifted, radiant mane cascading over her shoulders in a magnificent stream as she declared.

“Let me be good to you!” She threw her head back, the slow rhythm of the song changing as she swayed her body like some sultry dancer. “For the weary, for the dreary, let these sweet wings fly away with all that misery!”

She swept back, dress glimmering like a river of crimson starlight as she ducked her head low, wings out at her sides in a sweeping bow.

“Come now one and all, let me… be good to…” Mid verse she hopped up, the towering spire that was her horn igniting in an eruption of pink magic. “You!”

In a flash her dress was gone, dissipating off of her like a swarm of ruby butterflies, and in its wake was something far less… Civil.

Jade forgot all about the hooded mare, while Ocean’s beak hung open. The same couldn’t be said of the alicorn, more of her pearly coat on show as she suddenly boasted skimpy, black lingerie, and tight stockings, complete with a feathered bocay over her tail, and heavily exaggerated rump. Her toned hips worked, a sway added to them as the stripper goddess strode up and down the stage, the crowd erupting in a chorus of cheers, whistles, and gasps.

“Oh, that’s right you lovely mares and gentlecolts, we’re gonna get fucked tonight!” she called in what appeared to be her normal voice, levitating the microphone to her mouth as she did so, before dropping back into the tone she apparently reserved for singing. “Every weary traveler, fighter, and trader, come see me for a sample of my flavor!”

It appeared the soft undertone of the song was all but gone as she shot an overly devious look at the rambunctious crowd, eyes lidded and muzzle curled in a sly smile as she strode back to the right side of the stage.

My kind of mare. Part of Jade’s mind quipped, a part very much as sharp as Data, as the cyber mare shook her head. No, not thinking about clapping flanks, this still feels off.

She had to scold herself several more times as the alicorn pranced left and right, going on about how her tail was practically an open hole for anyone who wanted her to be… Good to them.

Instead, she looked to Ocean, catching the hippogriff staring as the alicorn began a verse about rough hooves needing tending to.

“Hey, hey, Ocean, snap out of it!” she called, waving a forehoof in front of the avian mare’s face.

“W–what… Oh, right I…” The hippogriff bawked, wings ruffling as words appeared to flee her beak in a flood of gibberish before she finally collected herself. “Sorry, she’s just so…”

“Captivating, I know,” Jade finished for her, glancing about. “I heard alicorns have that effect, and I think somepony here was counting on it too.”

Ocean blinked, cocking her head as she glanced around too, all the while the mare on stage hovered up, singing the final chorus of her song from a good few feet above the stage. Her wings beat the mist into a smooth wave that rolled across the crowd, stealing away any suspicious characters Jade could hope to see.

“But an alicorn, how do they even have an alicorn?” Ocean asked, while Jade motioned for her to keep it down. “Sorry, sorry… I thought they were extinct,” she added in a whisper.

“As far as I know there were only two, three if you count the Crystal Empire, but there were never reports their ruler was natural born,” Jade informed her, thinking back on all of her MoA records. “But it’s not the alicorn I’m worried about.”

“Oh no, not even wondering a bit about how she could be good to you?” Data’s voice cooed in the back of her head, eliciting a shudder that Jade did her best to ignore. No, I’m not… Not thinking about curvy, princess flanks!

There was a shudder in her suit as X-23 giggled in her head, yet just as soon as she shook off the infuriating sensation, a mare swept past. It was the same mare from the bar, effortlessly carrying a tray of drinks behind her shoulders as if she’d done so a million times before. In one fluid move, she hopped up, tossing the refreshments onto the pair’s table. Jade lurched to catch them, yet tray, glass, then fluid all fell in perfect order, seeing not even a drop splash out of place. Ocean clapped, while Jade’s eyes narrowed.

We only just sat here, how did she know? The little Data in her head rubbed her chin, while the barmaid simply beamed at the two of them.

“Hey, I thought I said we didn’t want any drinks, just a room?” she questioned, but the overly happy mare merely maintained her irritatingly fake smile, responding through strained lips.

“Oh, it’s on the house, honey.” She nodded back over her shoulders toward the bar, as the song concluded in a roar of cheers and hoof stomps. “The manager insisted, he’ll be over any second to talk about your room.”

Jade raised an eyebrow, prepared to ask why she needed to see the manager to book a room, yet before she could say anything the mare scampered off in a pink blur. The bustling crowd made it hard to keep track of her as mares and stallions flocked to the stage. All the while the alicorn lounged there, just out of reach, flicking her hooves at them as if lightly dangling the lacy limbs in a pool. She smiled down at them as Jade imagined a goddess would, but there was no benevolence in her eyes, only hubris. She was an icon to them, and she knew it.

Hey, I thought we were done ogling the sexy princess mare! The more reasonable part of her mind called, while the tiny blue pegasus in her head burst out laughing as she tore her eyes away.

“Oh, free drinks!?” Ocean beamed, tapping her mug with a talon. “Here I thought kindness was dead in the wasteland.”

“I don’t know about that, but don’t drink a drop,” Jade told her, levitating up one of the mugs and taking a sniff. “This smells wrong.”

It became clear that statement was both literal and figurative as analytics started to work in her vision, making out that in addition to dirt and radiation, the mugs were filled with some pretty toxic stuff.

“I think some pony here has it out for us,” Jade muttered, levitating the mugs away from Ocean’s claws. “Screw the room. Stick your helmet back on, we’re barging our way out.”

Fumbling with the helmet, Ocean did just that as the pair stood, right as the alicorn on stage took to the air, snagging one of the chains that suspended the DJ’s platform, and blowing the electric-blue disk jockey a kiss. The musical mare smirked, hooves working on the table like she were crafting a fine dress, while the alicorn wove around the taut chain like a stripper on a pole.

“We all having a good time, my little ponies!?” she called, flaring her horn to summon flashes of pink smoke and glitter as the crowd cheered. “I do like the sound of that! Come on, let’s get wild, let’s get fucked so hard we bring down the roof!”

The cheering doubled as Jade moved to leave, only to pause before she could reach so much as a hoof step from the table. Emerging from the crowd before her was a dower-looking stallion. He had a gray coat, the same muddy gray as gravel, with a coal-black mane to match. Yet for all of his grubby colors, he appeared well off, carrying himself with a noble grace while boasting a clean, white suit complete with a black rose. He strode with purpose, putting even the mysterious alicorn to shame as he looked right at the cyber mare.

Three guesses who the manager is. The little Data in her head muttered, as Jade lifted a forehoof in Ocean’s path to prevent the hippogriff from blundering past her. Three guesses as to who’s up to something, more like.

Her suspicions weren’t so much raised by the finely-dressed stallion, however, but the mare at his side, a mare almost completely covered by hooded barding. All but her eyes and a flick of her light blue mane were left to the imagination as she marched beside the stallion with her head low. For a moment it was as if she were a slave, yet there was no collar, no bond between her and the stallion as Jade finally came up short. The stallion did the same, blinking at her as if caught off guard by her initiative. Then he smiled, laughing the surprise off like some well-versed politician. He opened his mouth to talk, not that he’d be very audible over the thumping music as it resumed.

If there’s one thing I know about ponies like him… Jade thought, looking around, seeing the table at her back and the wall of drunken ponies on every side of them. It’s don’t let them speak first.

“So, I take it you’re the manager?” she asked, well aware that this was going to be a conversation she’d want to control. “First thing’s first, I’m going to say that I’ve never been to a hotel that needs the manager to book a room?”

The stallion paused, looking at her curiously, while the mare at his side shot him a subtle glance. It wasn’t a look he reciprocated as he lifted a forehoof to his chest and smirked, appearing to admire her forward-thinking.

“My, my, right to the point.” He laughed, as if the humor were a fitting replacement for any introduction he’d clearly been planning to offer. “To answer your question, yes, I am the manager of this fine establishment.”

Jade caught another glance from the mare at his flank, as if she were trying to pass an unspoken word to him. Either way, the stallion appeared oblivious to it as he pressed on.

“The name’s Grimm, gawdy, I’m aware, but don’t let that put you off,” he told her, offering a forehoof.

Jade eyed the thing like it were a venomous snake ready to strike, while her brain analyzed every aspect of his body, labeling him a minor threat. That put her mind at ease a little, even as she thought back to the Aquarium, and the last baddies she’d met face to face.

“The name’s Pale Ghost.” Ignoring the glance from Ocean, she nodded to the hippogriff. “And this is Ocean Blaze.”

“Charmed,” Grimm responded, nodding to the mare at his right. “This is my assistant, Kitten. Don’t mind her.” He nodded back to the table. “Shall we have a seat? We can discuss your stay, and I’d hate to interrupt the show.”

He nodded back to the rabble around them as the alicorn hovered in the air, swirling over the sea of intoxicated ponies like she were a siren with them all captivated by her song. Sitting back down was the last thing Jade wanted to do, however. Instead, she wracked her brain for more clever words.

Come on, think, talk. Talking is what you’re good at, talking, perception, and analytics! She thought to herself, while the little Data in her head rolled her eyes. “Guns or not, I say we just shove past him and get out.”

She had to admit that option was becoming far more appealing as Grimm looked at her closely, as if taking the pause in her words as a sign of weakness.

“Everything alright?” he pressed as she shook her head, eyes narrowing as she assured him everything was fine.

“Fine, fine. In fact, we were just about to leave,” she assured, looking to Ocean, who nodded. “We’ll be out of your manes, sorry to bother you.”

“Nonsense, I insist, you must stay,” Grimm chimed, but shaking off his charm, Jade marched right past him, coming face to face with Kitten.

“He said he insists,” she said, voice low and robbed of the charisma the stallion’s radiated, shocking Jade for just a moment.

“I’m sorry, but I insist that we’re leaving,” she countered, yet before she could move another inch the hooded mare lifted her head, glaring daggers at her as she kicked out.

The strike to the chest had Jade staggering, yet suffering no real damage as she glared right back at the hooded mare. In a flash Ocean hopped between them, her own wings flared as the nearby crowd scattered.

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing!?” the hippogriff called, as the disturbance spread over the nearby ponies.

Kitten didn’t even flinch as Grimm almost appeared to melt into the rabble.

I knew this was wrong! Jade internally huffed, looking down at her forehooves, right as the orb of silver metal, its circumference marked by a band of blue, rolled between her legs. Oh, shit!

“Ocean, look out!” she called, or at least she hoped the words escaped her mouth before her systems reflexively dropped her into S.A.T.S.

Just like in the tunnels, time slowed as she jumped away from the spark grenade, sliding over the table behind her and rolling to a stop among the rugged pillows, right as the explosive went off in a blinding flash of blue light and crackling electricity. She felt her whole body go stiff, thrumming with a stinging energy that caused her limbs to twitch and spasm. Her eyes cracked open like half-rusted shutters, warnings flashing in her vision as she struggled to move and sit upright. Peering through blurred eyes into a sea of chaos. If the crowd had been a rabble while the alicorn was singing, now they were a mob.

Those not stunned by the spark grenade’s blast, lifted groggily to their hooves, manes on end and frazzled, as those beyond its reach scrambled away in confusion. It was clear that not everypony had an idea what had transpired, but unarmed as they all were, it took only a moment for panic to take hold. Only another moment for one unicorn to telekinetically slam a bottle on another pony’s head. He fell to the ground in a heap, and just like that a bar fight that put combat scenarios to shame broke out throughout the entire Love Shack.

‘Primary power core compromised, rebooting. Back up power operational, systems operating at 20% capacity. Caution recommended.’

Vision blurred and swarmed with blinking warnings, Jade did all she could to steady herself. Somewhere above a pegasus flew by, only to be smacked off course by another, while in the chaos, she caught sight of the alicorn. The princess appeared as if she’d been mid lap dance on her suspended chains, now peering down upon the rabble with a stunned expression of shock before she took off out of sight. It appeared her magnetic appeal for attention was mute now, as Jade heaved herself up, body feeling limp and heavy.

For once, she really felt as if she were made of metal, the weight of her synthetics dragging her down like millstones strapped to her bones as half of her servos whirred and shuddered. All the while, the little Data in her head scribbled notes on a mental clipboard, going on about the effect of spark magic on her creation. All Jade could think about, however, was her companion. Looking over the table, or what was left of the thing after her impact had split it in two, she saw Ocean, frozen still as a statue while her armor fizzled and popped.

She took the full brunt of it, her armour’s gotta be down! She thought, recalling the many times she’d reviewed operations in which there’d been mid-combat reboots. Well, you did always want fieldwork, Jade.

She shook off the snider side of her thoughts, staggering on the moldy pillows. At least until a stallion dove over the table at her, foaming at the bit as he called about stealing her pretty eyes. Her sensors were swift to inform her of his intoxication, he’d had to have been high on something to consider attacking her a good idea. Yet when she struck out, her weakened limb hit him with no more force than a light, back hoof slap.

Okay, note to self, spark attacks make me way less strong! The little Data in her head listed a hundred ways she could fix that weakness if she had the time, and a lab, but as the stallion staggered then flew at her again, Jade couldn’t care less.

Her chest burned as if stuffed with hot coals as she willed her magic into being, levitating up one of the pillows and shoving it in his face. Capitalizing on his drunken momentum, she sidestepped over the broken table, seeing his lunge send him flying into the booth, where the wooden frame of the thing gave way with a splintering crack.

His legs kicked, rump swaying as he did all he could to tug himself free. In the same instance, another mare charged, only to be swatted aside by a stallion twice her size as Jade staggered back, battling to stay on her hooves as her heavy body hung over her skeleton like a sack of rocks.

Damn it, reboot faster! She mentally yelled, a static buzz in her head responding as X-23 grew tight. Don’t give me that, we need to get out of here!

Glancing at Ocean, she noted that couldn’t be more true as ponies only a few levels above raiders hopped atop the petrified hippogriff, doing their best to claw their way inside her armor. Placing one quivering hoof in front of the other, Jade marched towards her stunned companion while doing her best not to fall flat on her face. At least until a scream met her ears, a shadow overhead the only warning she received before a mare landed atop her back. It took the cyber mare only a moment to register that this wasn’t just another drunken fool, as her attacker pulled taut a black chord in her magic and hooked the thing around Jade’s neck.

“Die, mechanical abomination!” roared the mare, her voice oddly like that of Kitten, as she yanked the wire tight.

If she had still been flesh and blood, she was sure the thing would have garotted her head clean off. As it was, the razor edge cut deep into her synthetic hide, eliciting a flurry of color and painful screams from X-23 as the suit was easily sliced. Choking on a breath her body still didn’t need, Jade heaved back, only allowing the mare to get a better grip as her hind legs closed around her midriff. There was a click and the wire against her neck hummed, sizzling with a distinctly burnt smell before a lance of sparks ran across its length.

Oh no you don’t! Jade internally declared, kicking up with all the might she could muster, while bowing her head. I am done with fancy spark tech!

The attacking mare was tossed over her head with a yelp, yet rolled in the air to land perfectly on all four hooves. Spinning to face the cyberpony, it was apparent that there was not just one hooded pony under Grimm’s employment, this mare looked almost identical to Kitten, if not for her slightly different eyes and mane style.

“Mechanical fiend!” hissed the mare, the chord in her telekinetic grip discarded in favor of a pistol she levitated from under her cloak.

“Katnip, cease toying with your prey!” Grimm’s call put a name to the second hooded mare as Jade caught him to her left, squabbling with another of the bar’s patrons as he barked orders. “Kitten, eliminate the second heretic!”

It didn’t take more than one guess to know who he was referring to as Jade caught sight of the first hooded mare leap atop Ocean, kicking away the drunken raiders in a flurry of hoof strikes.

“No!” Jade called, staggering, only for Katnip’s pistol to sing, the flash illuminating the crowd as the bullet sunk deep into Jade’s shoulder.

‘Critical damage sustained. Error: repair systems unable to respond.’

The cyber mare staggered, the pain dull, even if the wound was far more debilitating as only half of her body worked properly.

“Yes, I will not fail again,” called Katnip as she advanced and took another shot.

Time flickered as Jade just about managed to squeeze into S.A.T.S, rolling to the side and narrowly avoiding being stomped into paste by the squabbling masses. The second time resumed, she leaped up, one foreleg limp at her side as the tattered breach in her stealth suit’s neck flapped like leaves in an autumn wind.

“Cease moving and die, you heathen!” hissed Katnip, yet working on pure programmed instinct, Jade’s magic flared, snatching the nearest thing she could find.

It turned out to be little more than an empty mug, yet it was more than enough to swat the weapon from her hooded attacker’s magical grip.

“Here’s an idea, how about you shut up instead!” the cyber mare roared, barrelling into the hooded assassin with all the grace of a drunken buffalo, sending the two of them sprawling.

A good number of the crowd were dragged down with them, intoxicated ponies toppling like bowling pins as Jade landed atop Katnip. The pairs’ eyes met as the latter’s hood fell back, revealing a younger mare, no older than her twenties. Yet while Jade hesitated, her attacker had no such issue. She wrapped her forehooves around the back of Jade’s neck, and heaved up, slamming her horn into Jade’s temple in a headbutt. The action left the little Data in her mind stunned, wondering just how the impact hadn’t shattered the offending unicorn’s horn, while sending Jade’s head into a spin as the synthetic mare staggered back off of her.

What’s her head made of… Rocks!? One glance at the silvery metal encompassing Katnip’s spire and it was clear Data didn’t know everything, as the attacking unicorn whirled on her, levitating out a pair of knives. Who in Luna’s name are these ponies?

“I will not grace you with the dignity of a response, heathen!” Katnip hissed, shaking herself free of the scuffle.

“That’s exactly what you just did!” Whether she liked it or not, Data’s whittier side was starting to creep free far more easily as Jade winced, telling her inner self to shut up too.

The inner turmoil seemed lost on Katnip as she levitated her weapons at Jade in a flurry, cutting several deep lines in her one good shoulder, staggering her before she could even move. All she could think as the assassin approached was that her repair systems couldn’t reboot fast enough. Her meek attempts to roll aside, stolen as a heavy hoof pinned her down. Her limbs whirred, a rainbow of painful colors flickering across her wounded suit like some spasmatic chameleon as she glanced up to see Grimm, a forehoof tipped with what appeared to be some kind of metallic piston pressed to her back.

“I would advise you not to patronize my companion,” he mused, nodding to Katnip, who froze like an obedient hound at his direction. “Most of all while she has you on the ropes.”

“Who in Celestia’s name are you damn ponies, we didn’t do anything to you?” Jade coughed, earning a slap across the face from his metal-clad forehoof.

“Do not speak the heathen goddess’s name!” he hissed through clenched teeth, his face quickly scrunched into a grimace before he went on far more cooly. “You are an abomination, my friend. A relic of a cursed age, and therefore your wretched existence cannot be tolerated!”

“What the buck are you talking about!?” she asked, but he offered her no more response, instead nodding to Katnip, then down at her.

“Eliminate her.” There was not an ounce of hesitation, more robot than a mare, she stood and levitated the knife right above Jade’s face, ready to plunge it downward.

“Okay, who wants some!” The roar of Ocean’s voice was the only thing to call out as the heads of all three adversaries snapped up, right as Kitten was sent flying into Katnip in a blur of rags and fur.

Rebooted, the power armored hippogriff sprung up, swatting ponies aside like ants as her armor called out about another glorious tide in this mare’s ocean. His assassins stolen from sight, Jade took one quick look up at Grimm, while he glanced down at her. Data’s way of dealing with things or not, she was pretty sure, right now she wanted to do nothing more than beat his smug face in.

“You’re not going anywhere,” he growled, shoving down hard as she gripped his offending foreleg with her own. “This elimination was supposed to be clean and swift, but you just had to go fuck it up!?”

“Oh, I am sorry I don’t just go along with ponies who are trying to kill me for no reason!” she screamed back, heaving up with all of her might.

His foreleg quivered, the metal around its tip cracking like glass as she twisted it around. There was a pop, a bone-crunching squelch, and the stallion screamed. There was little acknowledgment of just what she’d done as she shoved up hard, rolling him onto his back, reversing their positions as she pinned him under her.

“I have totally had it with ponies trying to kill me!” she declared, pressing her metallic forehoof to his heaving chest, while his broken foreleg flopped at his side, and the other gripped hers. “Ever since waking up, I’ve been shot at, almost eaten, drowned, and melted alive!”

“Such naiveite, to think such a foal is behind those false eyes,” he huffed, glaring at her as he did his best to shove him upwards.

Okay, just kill this jokester and be done with it. The far more Data side of her mind ordered, yet the words stuck. My eyes are not false I am still me… I am!

She wanted to scream, call out, yell at the top of her lungs. Yet to embrace her regenerating body, to exploit her enhanced strength to pop his skull like a melon… Was that not doing just what he said she’d do? Did that not make her an abomination?

“Master!” Jade was sent sprawling right as she heard Katnip cry out, the hooded mare striking her side with a full charge to knock her off Grimm.

“You will not touch him again, fiend!” the assassin hissed, as the crippled stallion rolled over, retaking his place above the prone cyber mare.

“Kat, give me the knife,” he called, practically straddling Jade as he took the blade in his good forehoof. “I’ll kill this one my…”

His head exploded in a shower of gore and meaty chunks, sending a blast of hot, sticky crimson all over as the force of the shot tore his decapitated body to the side, landing right at Katnip’s forehooves. Blinking and wiping the blood from her eyes, Jade lifted her head, glancing around. Her eyes found the glinting scope within moments, right as the alicorn who’d fired the shot lifted her head back to reload for another.

Footnote: Level up

New perk added: Cautious by Nature - After all this, you’re going to be more alert than ever. With this Perk you get a +3 to your perception in random encounters for a short period of time.