Applejack always knew she was different. One day when the Apple kids decided to hold a sleepover in the barn, the kids decided to play Truth or Dare. At first things were easy. The dares were things like “Climb all the way up to the top of the hayloft without chickening out.” (Applejack could do that with her eyes closed, what with all her years of farm chores.)
The truths were “Tell me which sibling you like better.”, or “What’s your most embarrassing moment?”. Applejack was under a little more pressure, given that she was the Element of Honesty and all. But she told Apple Bloom that she liked them both equally, and told Big McIntosh about the time she talked Rarity into letting her wear a cowboy hat and galoshes to a very big fashion show. But eventually Apple Bloom asked The Question.
“Who was your first crush?”, Apple Bloom asked, leaning in with a smile.
Applejack was blanking. There wasn’t a single pony coming to mind. “Um, how do you know if something is a crush?”
Big Mac laughed. “You know! They make you feel all fluttery, like you can fly even though you’re an Earth Pony. That’s how it feels for me, anyway!”
Applejack was thinking. The only thing coming to mind was her apple orchard. Oh, how she loved spending time there! Apple bucking season was her favorite part of the year, and during the rest of the year she cared for the trees as best she could. But that’s not the same, right? Crushes were only on other ponies.
“I guess I’ve never really had a crush.”
Apple Bloom and Big Mac looked surprised. “Well, I guess not everyone gets them. Maybe that’s you!”
“Maybe.”, Applejack said, but she didn’t sound enthusiastic. “I think I’m done with Truth or Dare. I’m going to go pop some popcorn. Who wants some?”
“Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Me!”, Apple Bloom exclaimed. They all rushed inside for some freshly popped popcorn. The question was forgotten by all but Applejack.
One day, Applejack was told that one of the trees in her orchard needed to be moved to Appleloosa, where their relatives would take care of it. The tree’s name was Bloomberg. Applejack named all her trees. They were friends. Family. Maybe even more. Applejack was happy the tree would be well cared for. She only wanted him to be happy. Applejack gathered her friends and bought their train tickets. They were going to the country!
While buying the tickets, Applejack realized she couldn’t bear the idea of Bloomberg squished into a transport cart. She saw the price of a sleeper car and gulped. But her tree had to be happy. Applejack wondered if she was crazy. What kind of wacko cared about the feelings of trees? But she bought the ticket anyway. She couldn’t explain it. She just felt that she had to.
They were halfway to Appleloosa, and the train ride had seemed uneventful so far. There had been some complaints from Rarity about the fact that the tree got a car to himself while she was stuck bunking with the others. Something about getting her beauty sleep. Applejack didn’t get it. She never cared about her beauty sleep, or her beauty in general. Her trees found her beautiful, and that was enough. Wait. What was she thinking? “You’re crazy, Applejack.”, she muttered to herself.
The next day, a catastrophe occurred. A herd of buffalo attacked the train. The ponies didn’t know they were attacking at first. At first it looked like they were just doing tricks. But eventually the unthinkable happened. The herd of buffalo disconnected the sleeper car, stealing both Bloomberg and Spike, who had apparently crept inside. Applejack wondered if she was a horrible friend to Twilight Sparkle. Because she wasn’t thinking about Spike. Just Bloomberg. And her heart was aching. What would happen to her poor tree?
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie left the train to go find the buffalo herd, proving once again that they were the best friends ever. But Applejack still couldn’t stop herself from worrying. As soon as she got to Appleloosa, she needed to tell her relatives about what happened. But her cousin Braeburn had other plans. He insisted on showing her the whole city, none of which she could care less about. One of her trees was in danger. She wanted to kick Braeburn. She didn’t understand how someone like this could be related to her. “Crazy Applejack.”, the voice in her head shouted. “Wanting to kick someone over a tree.”
Eventually, Applejack was able to tell Braeburn about what had happened. But his response was even worse. He knew that the buffalo wanted the trees gone. He knew that they certainly didn’t want any more. He knew that something like this might happen. He knew that Appleloosa wasn’t a safe place for Bloomberg. Applejack wanted to cry. Her tree had been sent into danger. All she cared about was fixing this horrible dilemma.
Applejack was hoping that when Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie came back, that they would be able to help. But when they came back with the buffalo tribe and Spike, things got worse. Rainbow Dash was arguing that the buffalo tribe deserved the land the orchard was on. That all the trees had to be moved and that Bloomberg couldn’t be planted. They didn’t understand. Applejack needed to plant him. She needed him to be comforted by soft soil around his roots. Applejack felt she had no choice but to argue for the settlers. She was blinded with anger. And Rainbow Dash was her opponent.
As Applejack and Rainbow Dash bickered, Twilight Sparkle couldn’t stand it any longer. She intervened and broke up the fight, just in time for Pinkie Pie to give a… um… interesting performance. Applejack stood there watching, wondering how this inane song-and-dance routine could possibly help her tree. The buffalo chief and the Appleloosa sheriff agreed with her assessment of the performance. Then, the buffalo declared war. They would run through their traditional stampeding grounds, and anything in their way would be destroyed.
If there was a word to describe Appleloosa after the buffalo chief’s declaration, it was tense. Everyone was prepared to fight. And on the day of the attack, chaos broke out. The Appleloosa settlers were chucking apple pies everywhere, while the buffalo were destroying barricades. Eventually, after tasting the pies they were being assaulted with, the buffalo made a deal. They would allow the settlers to keep the trees in exchange for a share of the pies made from them.
Everyone was delighted at this compromise, and the buffalo and settlers shared in their pies and their traditions. After the buffalo’s traditional stampede, Applejack planted Bloomberg. She loved this feeling. The dirt on her hooves, carefully burying, almost caressing the roots. Giving her tree the care he deserved. After the planting, which was more emotional than she wanted to admit, Applejack went to go meet the buffalo. She found out that small buffalo she had seen on the train was named Little Strongheart, and she tried to strike up a conversation with her. Applejack wasn’t much for small talk, but she asked Little Strongheart what was going on in the tribe. And the answer shocked her.
“Oh, not much.”, Little Strongheart said. “The yearly crop of hay is about to come in, Raindance is expecting a foal soon, and Nightbird is getting married to the river. Not much else.”
“Wait, what?! Married? To the river? You do that?”
Little Strongheart was surprised by Applejack’s reaction. “Of course.”, she said. “It’s just part of buffalo culture”
“You mean it’s normal? Not crazy?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say normal as in common, but no one makes a big deal about it. Some people have feelings that aren’t for other buffalo. And if acting on those feelings doesn’t hurt anyone, why not be happy?”
On the whole way home, Applejack was lost in thought. She was still thinking about what Little Strongheart had said to her. When the train approached Ponyville, Applejack overheard Twilight saying she needed to go grocery shopping. And that gave her an idea. If she wasn’t crazy, what was she? The answer had to be in a book somewhere. So Applejack broke into Twilight’s house and searched the shelves desperately. Searching for something that would tell her what she was.
Eventually, Applejack found it. A book titled Unconventional Relationships Through Pony History. She read about ponies who had fallen in love with fictional characters. She read about ponies who had fallen in love with themselves. And then she got to the chapter she was looking for. The chapter on objectums. That was the word for what she was. Specifically, she was botani, which is also referred to as plantum. And there was nothing wrong with that.
Applejack was engrossed in the story about the Canterlot pony who had fallen in love with a marble statue, when suddenly Twilight Sparkle walked in, using her horn to float bags of groceries in behind her. She stared at Applejack, who was staring back in a panic. All her anxieties about her feelings towards her apple orchard came back. What would her friends think? Would they hate her? Would they think she was a crazy freak?
Applejack broke down crying, her emotions spilling out of her like a volcano. While sobbing, she handed Twilight the book, flipped open to the page on botani relationships. Twilight read it and instantly understood. She looked at Applejack.
“Do-do-do you h-h-hate me?”, Applejack asked in between tears.
Twilight hugged her. “We’re friends. And I would never hate a friend for who they turn out to be.”
The two embraced, Twilight giving Applejack the support she needed to accept herself. Applejack thanked Twilight heartily, and resolved to tell the others as soon as she could. But in the meantime, she had to ask out her first crush- her apple orchard.
