I'll Love You, No Matter What
Jaded sat at the dinner table, staring at the clock. She should’ve been off of work almost three hours ago. He thought to himself. I hope she’s okay…
Today was Jaded and Script’s second anniversary. They had planned a romantic dinner for the two of them. Script had been looking forward to it since Jaded suggested the idea. So where could she be?
Jaded got up and walked to his room, not wanting to eat without her. He tried to read his book, but his thoughts wouldn’t stop of what was going on with Script.
Did she forget? Was she hurt? Did something go wrong?
I just hope she’s okay… Jaded thought.
I slowly walked down the streets of Ponyville, taking my sweet time to get to my house. Today sucked at my second job at the bookstore. I had bumped one of the shelves and ended up knocking over a whole display. My boss chewed me out for an hour and made me stay an extra hour late to clean up the mess. I still had to get ready for my date tonight with Jaded.
I arrived at my front door and opened it. I walked inside, walking straight into my bathroom to shower to try and calm myself down, but to no avail.
Once I finished, I walked out of the shower, dried off, and walked into the kitchen for a snack. I grabbed an apple from the fruit basket and a knife from the counter, cutting up the apple. I have been mentally stable for nearly a year now, so Ellie trusted me enough to leave the knives unlocked while she was away on vacation.
As I was cutting the apple, the thoughts in my mind from what had happened at work today wouldn’t get off of my mind. This caused me to become distracted and cut my hoof slightly. I dropped the knife on the counter and began to suck on the wound, but then a wave of relief came over me. I had forgotten that feeling.
I slowly picked the knife back up and brought it to my hoof, the voices growing louder. I pressed it into my skin, shutting my eyes tight, preparing for the sting, and sliced my hoof, hard. I felt the blood pour down my hoof. I looked at the wound to see the damage and gasped in horror.
I rushed over to the bathroom, frantically looking for the bandages. Once I found them, I began to apply them to my hoof. I can’t believe I cut myself like this! I thought. I thought I was getting better! Why did I give in?
I cleaned the wound bandaging it up and decided to get ready for my date tonight. I walked into my room, grabbed a dress and sweater from the closet, and headed out the door.
I felt weak as I began to walk toward my coltfriend’s house, thankfully it wasn’t too far of a walk, I should be alright. I did bandage it up anyway. I tried to pull my thoughts out of the negative and to the positive.
I was excited to be hanging out with my coltfriend, we hadn’t had anything fun to look forward to for a while now. The last time we really did anything together was probably our last anniversary dinner. I mean sure, we had a few dates here and there, but nothing really where we were able to just be together.
Finally, I made it to Jaded’s house, good thing too, I was feeling even weaker than I was before. I opened the door, clinging onto the doorknob staring at my hoof, realizing the blood on my sleeve. That’s when I heard Jaded come running down the stairs.
“Script!” he exclaimed. “Where in Equestria have you been, I was so worried!” I clung onto the doorknob, feeling like I could barely keep standing. I had to do something to prevent him from finding out, but it grew harder to think clearly. “Script, you okay, what’s wrong?”
I felt my eyes begin to droop. The next thing I knew, I was in Jaded’s hooves. “Whoa, take it easy, love.” He then noticed the blood on my sleeve. “Script… What happened…?
My eyes grew wide as my coltfriend reached for my sleeves. “Jaded, don’t!” I cried, but I couldn’t stop him in time. Jaded’s jaw dropped when he saw the blood-stained bandages oozing down my hoof.
“Oh my Luna, that’s a lot of blood… What have you done to yourself, Script?” he asked. “This is worse than you’ve ever done before!”
I just stayed silent as I began to sob, “Jaded, I’m so sorry…” Jaded gently leaned me against the wall and ran out of the room, probably to grab his first aid kit. I could feel myself growing weaker as I rested my eyes for a moment.
“No, no, no, Script, eyes on me, stay awake!” Jaded gently patted me on the cheek to try and wake me up. “Babe, I gotta put pressure on the wound, okay?” I let out a mumbled groan as I opened my eyes weakly, tears streaming down my face. “There you are, my love.” Jaded smiled. “Just stay with me, okay? Keep those eyes open for me.”
I managed to nod my head despite how weak I felt.
“Script, talk to me, okay?” Jaded said. “What went wrong, what caused you to do this?”
I only sobbed as my coltfriend began to apply pressure to my hoof. “I couldn’t deal with it… I just couldn’t…” I muttered repeatedly.
“You’re okay, babe.” Jaded said, I could tell he was trying to stay calm. “Tell me something about your day, how was work? What was the thing you loved about today?”
I let out a few mumbled words before I felt my eyes become heavy. “Script, no, come on, don’t fade out on me!!” he cried. “Keep your eyes open for me, please.”
I felt myself grow cold as his voice began to fade into the abyss.
“Script!”
Jaded walked into the hospital room, a sad smile on his face. He walked to her side, placing his hoof on hers.
“Hey Script… I just talked to the doctor…” he sighed. “He said there’s a chance that you won’t wake up…” Jaded shut his eyes as his ears folded back. “I know you can fight it… You are going to wake up, just… Stay strong, my love, you can do this… I know you can recover from this. I love you so much, I want you here… I know you can do this, so just keep fighting… You’re a fighter, I know it. You do it every day… Sure, you’ll have a bad day but you still try and fight through it, come back to me… I need you… I wanna be with you forever, and ever.”
Jaded stared at Script, looking so peaceful lying there.“I’ll be here for however long it takes, Script… Have it be for hours, Tartarus, even days or months. I will wait for you.” Jaded leaned towards Script, pecking her on the forehead. “Just please, wake up…”
I felt myself floating in darkness. I opened my eyes, finding pictures fading in.
What’s going on? I thought to myself. I began to recognize these pictures appearing around me. Is this… My life flashing before my eyes…?
I watched as memories began to flash by, tears filling my eyes. Suddenly, a bright light grew towards me. I felt myself drawn to it, like a moth to a flame, but then I heard a voice.
Please, come back to me, Script…
Suddenly, my vision began to come back as I heard the sound of a heart monitor beeping and the smell of antiseptic.
“Script?” a voice gasped.
I let out a groan and opened my eyes slowly, finding my coltfriend sitting beside me, grasping my hoof tightly.
“Thank Celestia you’re awake…” Jaded said with a sigh of relief. “Are you alright?” I sat up in the bed, and looked around, finding myself in a hospital room. “Do you remember what happened?”
I stared at my hoof that was wrapped up in clean bandages. Once I saw it, I began to sob into my hooves as pieces came back together. Jaded got up and started rubbing me on the back to comfort me.
“Hey, it’s okay, Script, you’re still here! You made it, and I’m so proud of you for that, not everypony has the strength for that.”
I just pulled my head out of my hooves and stared at my coltfriend. “You… You don’t… Hate me?” I muttered between sobs.
Jaded stared at me in shock. “Of course I don’t! What makes you say that?”
I looked away, my ears folding back. “I’m scared you’ll leave me…”
Jaded pulled my head towards him, staring into my eyes, not daring to look away. “Script, that’s never going to happen. I love you so much, babe.”
I stared into my coltfriend’s eyes, smiling slightly. I leaned towards him, our heads touching each other as Jaded grabbed my other hoof.
“I love you so much, Jaded…” I said.
“I love you too, Script Singer.”
I pulled away from the embrace. “So… What’s going to happen now…?” I asked with concern.
Jaded rubbed his neck. “I don’t know, the doctor said he was going to talk with you and things would go from there.”
“Do you think… They’re going to admit me…?” I had been admitted to the psych ward in the past, so I wasn’t unfamiliar with the routine.
Jaded looked at me. “Script, if that does happen, you know everyone including me will support you, but that’s your decision.”
I hung my head. “I’m just scared of what people will think if I go back…”
“Well, I’ll be here if you want me to.”
After a few minutes, the doctor came in to evaluate me. He took a seat in front of the bed. I looked away when I noticed who it was.
“Hello, Script, it’s good to see you again. How are you feeling?” he asked.
“I’m okay, I guess…”
The doctor smiled. “It’s alright, I don’t bite. After all, I helped you before.”
“I know Cheval, I just… I thought I was getting better…”
Cheval nodded his head, taking some notes. “It can be hard to stay clean sometimes. Tell me, what was going on in your head when you cut yourself.”
I took a deep shakey breath as I tried to process my words. “I’ve generally struggled with self-harm since my last hospital visit but didn’t take it seriously since I would always regret doing it afterward.” Cheval jotted down some notes, urging me to continue. “Eventually, the self-harm thoughts would get worse, to the point where I wasn't feeling regret anymore… I mean, it was still there, but kinda… muffled I guess? I don't know how else to explain it…”
“Maybe try to explain a bit more what you mean by muffled, help me understand a bit more.”
My ears folded back. “It’s like I just stopped caring about it being less regretful. Like I didn’t care about the consequences of the aftershock. I just didn’t see how the pain would end.” A soft smile grew on my face. “But most of that changed when I met Jaded.” I looked at my coltfriend. “He gave me the will to want to live again. I felt like I could finally lean on someone.”
Cheval nodded, as he adjusted his glasses. “There is an important question I do need to ask you, Script if you don’t mind,” he said.
“What is it?”
“Was this a suicide attempt?”
I stared at him, shaking my head. “No, I didn’t have suicidal intent, I just wanted my pain to go away.”
“Do you still have suicidal thoughts?”
I hung my head, ashamed to admit the truth. “Sometimes, but Jaded has helped. I don’t really want to die, I just want my pain to stop.”
“What do you feel like would be best for you right now?”
Jaded put a hoof on my shoulder. “Do you just wanna come spend a few nights at my house till you feel better?” Jaded asked.
I looked up at him and smiled. “Yeah, that sounds like a good solid plan.”
Jaded smiled as he pulled me into a side hug. Cheval smiled. “Alright, I’ll get the paperwork for your discharge, Script,” he said.
“Alright, thanks Cheval,” I said
Cheval nodded, got up from his chair, and walked out of the room, leaving me and Jaded alone in the room. Jaded turned to me. “You okay, Script?”
I smiled. “I’ve got you here, don’t I?” I chuckled.
Jaded only smiled and put a hoof on my cheek lovingly. I leaned in and pulled him close to me, then kissed him.
Author's Note
Hey guys, wow it's been a hot minute since I posted a story on here. Sorry for that, been super busy this year with other projects and stuff. Hope you enjoyed the story, I decided to post it a month early since I haven't really pumped out any new entertainment on fimfic for a while. Anyway, might add more to this when I'm awake so yeah. I also might polish up the story a bit later as well.
