It was a day like any other in the sleepy town of Thamesboro. It was late December, The last day before Christmas break. The Children were very anxious to get out of school early, none more than Mark Jenks, an 8th grader at the Thamesboro Intermediate School. He was about the regular height for his age, maybe a little on the skinny side, with his hair in a somewhat bowl cut fashion. He did not have many friends at his school, as he moved to the district in January. He had a somewhat sorrowful look on his face, probably because he has little in the ways of friends. His parents usually don’t spend much time with him, as they are focused on his slightly younger brother, Bill. Bill was born with a disease that left him rather sickly and paraplegic, so most of his parent’s attention was diverted to Bill’s special needs. His parents also were at work a lot, his mother working as a teacher, and his Dad working as an assistant manager at a nearby grill/propane outlet didn’t leave them much time to be together. What Mark did find solace in, was playing videogames. When his parents were at Work, Mark and Bill would often play RPG’s like Final Fantasy and Disgaea (only the first one, as Mark thought that the subsequent one’s sucked). The two would play together, by creating a character with the same name, so that they could play together. Although these were not the only types of games they played, they enjoyed these together, because Bill loved the idea of living in a world full of Magic and adventure. Bill didn’t like games like Call of Duty, because it made him feel sad that he could never do those things. Other than playing videogames, the two would often enjoy watching a good cartoon. The brothers enjoyed cartoons, as it was an escape from the harsh reality of the real world. They would enjoy a wide variety of cartoons, from Aaah real Monsters to Invader Zim, they watched them all. Or at least all of the “manly” cartoons. If their Dad caught them watching those “girly” cartoons, Mark could only see a get together with the belt. While his father wasn’t there much, he served in the Army, and Mark knows how his father would react to anything as outwardly feminine as watching a girls show. While his Dad was by no means abusive, there were certain things that might push him over the edge. Watching a girly show would be one of those things.
That December morning, the two boys were off to school. Mark preferred to walk to school, as he enjoyed looking at the landscape along the way. His Brother was picked up by the school minivan. Bill hated going on the van, as the kids would make fun of him at school, and call him retarded for taking the van. The day went by very fast; pretty much just the same thing he does every day. It all went as usual until the end of 10th period, dismissal. As Mark went to his locker, he saw Mike getting pestered. Mike was a small messy haired blond kid, who was also new to the school. Mike was the closest thing Mark had to a friend, although they never really talked much. Mike was held up to the locker by the school bully, Ryan. “So what’s in that backpack of yours kid, any money for me? “Said Ryan. Mike, being scared damn close to death, whimpered “nothing, I don’t have any money mister”. Ryan, thinking he was being swindled emptied the bags contents on the floor. Mike’s heart stopped as he saw the Fluttershy plushie hit the floor. “Looks like Nerdy boy is a sissy, eh” said Ryan as his goons started cracking up. As Ryan began holding up the doll for all to see, a girl named Rachel came in. She was one of Mark’s classmates, and often dies her hair, as her hair tends to have an unnatural shade of grey to it. “Let go of him, you asshole” proclaimed Rachel. “Or what” proclaimed Ryan “are you going to die this cumstain like you die the one’s in your hair?”. With that, Mark finally had enough and said “how dare you talk to a lady like that you failed abortion”. If this were a cartoon, steam would have came out of Ryan’s ears, as his face turned red with anger. And with that the hallway turned into a warzone, ending with Ryan jabbing Mike in the head with a pencil. The teachers ran to apprehend the bully and his goons, but they were too fast.
Mike, Mark, and Rachel went to the nurse, to get patched up. After that, they all walked to Mark’s house. “sorry about that whole fight thing, those kids are real jerks” said Rachel. “What was that even about, that thing just looked like an off brand teddy bear” said Mark. Mike replied “that was not a teddy bear, that was a Fluttershy”. “what the heck is a Fluttershy?” said Mark. Mike then divulged that he was a Brony, and showed them a book in his backpack. “What is that funny looking book in your backpack” asked Rachel. Mike replied “it is a DVD I found in the library, I think it is MLP related”. Mark then responds “I have never watched the show, but I guess I could go for some magic right now”, and with that Mark popped the disc in the computer. Some strange download happened on the computer, and weird symbols began flashing on the screen, and pictures of the mane 6 began scrolling through the desktop. “Damn it, Mike, I think you downloaded a virus to my computer” said Mark. Just as he said that, the computer began playing the first episode of MLP FiM, and a minute or two later, Bill happens to walk in. Bill gasps as the FiM theme begins playing, and sighs. Bill then yells “Mark, wtf is this?”, and Rachel quickly responded “ it is My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic, don’t diss it before you try it”. Bill took a second to comprehend what the usually shy Rachel just said, and watched the two part episode. After the episode was done, the computer crashed, and Mark said jokingly “Mike, if you weren’t so poor, you would be paying to repair this”. With that Mike began to sob a little bit, as Mike’s family was poor. His mother died during childbirth, and his Father never quite recovered from her death. He took to drinking, and soon landed himself into a large amount of debt. Currently they are living from paycheck to paycheck, and Mike’s Dad just got fired. “Sorry, Mike I was only kidding about that, I can fix me computer no problem “. They went on with small talk for another hour or so, and then departed. Mark decided to get some sleep, and wished his brother goodnight. After he tucked Bill in, Bill took out a Rainbow Dash doll from inside his nightstand. “I love you rainbow dash, what I would do to be able to fly with you “said Bill. And with that, they went to sleep. At about 3 AM, the computer turned on, and the screen began emitting a bright light, drawing in the consciousness of Mark, Bill, Rachel, and Mike from around the neighborhood.
Mark opened his eyes, and saw a bright world full of Pony’s. He tried to pinch himself on the cheek, but found out that he lost his fingers, and that they were replaced by hooves. He looked around him and thought he was in a dream. “Why this is an interesting dream” Mark thought “However, I don’t know enough about Ponyland or whatever its called to fully appreciate it, so I’ll just wake up “. Try as he might, Mark could not make himself wake up. Out of desperation, Mark hit his forehead with his hoof, and painfully realized that he had a horn going through the middle of his forehead. And with that, he screamed a wide assortment of obscenities that was heard throughout Ponyville. As he realizes that he is in the middle of a busy street, he notices an orange pony walk up to him and say “hay, what in tarnation are you doing yelling that kind of language in the middle of Ponyville, there are youngins out there that might repeat those nasty words” exclaimed Applejack. “Now who do you think you are Mr…” Applejack looked for a clue on Mark’s Flank to determine what his name might be, but instead, she found it was blank. Mark then tried to explain how he came to this world to Applejack, but she stared at him with a look of confusion as he was mumbling on about how this world was fake. “Mr. whatever your name is, you better come with me to my friend Twilight’s house before yah teach the little fillies any more of those colorful words, or get sent to the loony bin.”, and with that Applejack lassoed and dragged Mark to the library.
Chapter 1
[Hog-tied]
“Hmm” said Twilight as she was meticulously studying the stallion, looking for some sign of where he came from or his name. After about 10 minutes of studying him, Twilight came to the conclusion that he must be affected by some sort of magic. “So let me get this straight Applejack, you said you found this Stallion cursing in the middle of Ponyville after he hit his hoof on his head?”. “Yes ah did, that Stallion was actin crazier than Pinkie Pie on the Ponyville express, armed with the language of a seafarin stallion”. “Well I guess that means he can talk” as Twilight took the muzzle off of the perplexed pony. “Thank the heavens that muzzle is off, that inbred mule was going to sell me into slavery or something” blurted out Mark. Before he could whistle Dixie, Twilight used her magic to manually shut his mouth. “Hey, didn’t anyone teach you proper manners in front of a mare?” said Twilight with a frown on her face. “Your right Applejack, this one is more than a bit, shall we say, peculiar”. “You talk to me like that again, and I’ll tie you to a tree like one of them piñata’s an I’ll invite those crusaders over for a lil shin-dig” said Applejack. “Now hold on Applejack, maybe he doesn’t know any better; he may be from a distant land”. Mark finally got enough strength to break the aura around his muzzle “I am from another land, a land that is filled with war, bloodshed, and loads of porn!!”. At that moment, Applejack, Twilight, and for some reason Pinkie Pie all got together and let out a “Say what?” at the exact same time.
After a five second pause during which time all three of the mares stared at Mark, Applejack said “Don’t believe this nincompoop, he is a couple screws short of a chair, and doesn’t know what he is saying”. “If what he is saying is true though, it may help explain all of the strange things that have been going on over here for the past month”. Then Applejack retorted “how can we believe this pony if we don’t even know his name?”. “Well why don’t we go and ask him then?” said Twilight looking at Applejack. As Applejack was about to speak, Pinkie Pie ran up to the stallion and said “Please enter in your name”. The stallion gave a confused look to the Pink pony, then said “My name is Mark”. Then Twilight looked back at Mark and said “glad to make your acquaintance Mark”. Then Mark could hear Twilight and Applejack whispering. “well are you going to greet him?” “Hay no, he called me an inbred mule” “well you did hog tie and dragged him over to the library” “Well what was I supposed to do Twilight, I couldn’t just let him stay there and curse up a storm” “But you didn’t have to hog tie him Applejack” “I couldn’t just ask him to come along with me either, or else he would have escaped and done Celestia knows what!” “I am not saying that, I am just saying that there are other ways you could have handled the situation instead of treating him like a pig “ “Well I’m sorry Twi that ah cant use unicorn magic to fix all of my problems “. They stared at each other for about five seconds and then realized that Pinkie Pie and Mark were staring at them. “You two argue like an old mareied couple “said Mark. At hearing the joke, the Party pony began laughing and said “You and me are going to get along just dandy”.
“So uh, Twilight, what is going on in this weird land” asked Mark. “Well, where should I begin?” asked Twilight. “Princess Celestia and Luna have gone missing, my brother and Cadence have taken the throne, and now they apparently have a son”. “This “son” of theirs was somehow able to speak the moment that he was born, and since then, he has been making all of these really weird laws around here”. “He has rescinded the laws against fighting, and even went as far as to make it the national sport.” “On top of that, he has created a small army of “judges” to referee the duels that now run rampant throughout Equestria, and allowed the creation of warrior groups called clans to fight against one another for bets and prizes”. “Finally, he established a number of pubs around Equestria”. Prior to ousting of Celestia, these places were few and far between, but now they are in almost every town”. “These pubs now also serve as a place to start up a clan, and accept clan missions; Any
more questions?”. Mark sighs “This is the last time I lend videogames out to any of my friends”.
After a surprisingly nice dinner of grilled grass and cheese sandwiches and cupcake desert, Mark, Twilight, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie head for the pub. “If there is anything I learned from Dungeons and Dragons, it is that every quest begins at the pub” the three mares nodded their heads in agreement, even though they had no idea what he was saying. As they were walking to the pub, a rainbow mane’d Pegasus ran into Mark. “Watch where you’re goin, you flamboyant faggot!” yelled Mark. At that, Rainbow Dash turned around and flew her hoove into Mark’s face. “Nobody calls me gay” yelled Rainbow Dash as she began kicking Mark in the stomach. “I- I’m sorry, R-Rainbow Dash” said a severely bruised Mark. “Rainbow Dash, you cant be hurting him, he has horsette Syndrome “. When Twilight said that, Rainbow immediately felt sorry for the poor unicorn, and apologized to him. “Sorry, um whats your name” said Rainbow Dash. “Marche!” Pinkie Pie blurted out. “No, the name’s Mark, but don’t feel sorry, they just think I have Tourrette Syndrome, because I come from another land that uses a lot more horse (hoarse) language”. So the two shook hooves and they all began walking to the pub, when they noticed Rarity and Fluttershy. “Hey guys, do you wanna come with us to the pub?” said Pinkie Pie. “Oh I don’t know Fluttershy, I need to make a dress for—oh my, when did you meet that dashing young unicorn?”. “Dashing, the only thing that is dashing about him is use of the word” Twilight put her hoof over Applejack’s mouth “She means that she met him in the Town square. If you would be so kind as to follow us to the pub, he would be more than glad to fill you in on every last detail, wouldn’t he” as Twilight eyed Mark. “Why yes, of course I would, and you may as well bring your soft spoken friend over here as well”. So with
that, the Mane 6 plus Mark headed off to the pub.
When they got there, they noticed a bar crowded with ponies. To the far right of them was a magic oriented clan of unicorn’s practicing their magic on a conveniently placed dummy. Next to those, was a smaller group of Earth ponies and Pegasi who were playing some kind of card game. And flying up high near the ceiling was Derpy Hooves swinging around after having a bit too much to drink. Maybe she had too much too much to drink, but you can never tell with that Pegasus. “Alright mister, what’ll it be?” said Donut Joe as Mark approached. “I’ll have a Vodka martini, shaken not stirred” said Pinkie Pie as she butted in front of Mark. “And who are you?” asked Donut Joe. “My name is Pinkie Pie” said the prancing party pony. “I must be dreaming” said Donut Joe in a slightly sarcastic tone. Mark jokingly pushed Pinkie out of the way, and asked Donut Joe about starting up a clan. “Why sure, just get at least five signatures and sign this liability waiver, and you’ll have a legit clan”. Upon hearing this, Mark had and the 6 mare’s all signed the paper, and gave it to Donut Joe. “Oh, I forgot, what do you want to call yourselves?” After looking at each other, Pinkie blurted out “The AristoColts”.
