"Yes."
"And you're really, really, sorry for your actions?"
"Yes," I almost huff. If I really had huffed, it would sound as if I really didn't care. And I can't make a worse impression on everyone than I already have. I mumble under my breath, "When I see him I will tell him how it was an accident."
"What did you say, sugarplum?" Dad looks at me with the are-you-okay-right-now-or-do-you-need-some-chill-time look and I roll my eyes.
"UGH! No one will believe me if I say I didn't throw a fit. They've seen my explosions. This is no different to them," I sigh. That's the bad thing about the world. Once you've done something bad, no one will see the good in you anymore.
"It's different to me."
"Well, you're my father. It's different."
"Just... fine, sweetie. But I'm always here when you need to talk."
I scoff. Yeah, sure, you'll be here. You'll be in Equestria, I trust that. You and your overprotectiveness will be at work, where I won't be. It's... okay.
Life is okay.
I finally spot a welcoming face in the crowd of a thousand ponies who all hate me, especially since I've been hiding for longer than my suspension told me to.
"Shea!" I call to her, waving her to come over here.
Of course, Oceana doesn't come over. She doesn't even turn to look in my direction. I guess she's not so welcoming anymore. It could be that I'm too quiet—I mean, I've been told that I absolutely suck at public speaking—but I don't think that's it. No one will look in my direction except to glare at me. I've become a total outcast now. A jerk, and for what? For standing up to a few jerks themselves.
Well, I guess they don't count as jerks anymore. They only pick on me; they're the only ones who will maintain eye contact with me. And everypony else is alright with that, because they're the only ones who aren't angry at or scared of me.
The only pony who's actually nice to me—and by nice, I mean decent, because it's actually a total upgrade from bullying and ghosting—is that Strawberry Sunrise girl. And probably only because she's new here and she didn't know I'm a terrible pony to be around. But hey, being alone isn't all frowns. For instance, I, uh... I get my own table at lunch. Which is great when I feel like I just want to cry alone and lay my depressed head down forever and fade away without anybody noticing.
Which is what I plan to do during lunch today. And I thought I was going to be undisturbed, but a hoof tapped my shoulder. I looked up, angry and with teary eyes. "What do you-"
It was Sunburst.
I wanted to tell him how sorry I was. I wanted to tell him how I could leave and he would never have to see me again. I wanted to tell him that it wasn't my fault. But now that he was right here in front of me, I could barely speak.
"OH- Oh my, I- I'm sorry, I um..." I stutter. "Sorry, I'll get out of your seat."
"What?"
I stare at him, except I look away. The damage has been done and it pains me to see it. "Sorry, sorry. Did you, um, need something?"
"No," he replies. Of course he doesn't need anything from you, you silly fool. "I was actually thinking you might need something."
"No. Apparently I'm a 'stuck-up, spoiled brat' who has 'everything she wants.' What could I possibly need?"
"Someone? Like... someone to talk to?"
I slam my face on the table, which is soon accompanied by something else. I look up and see Sunburst sitting across from me, his lunch laid out in front of him. "N- no, I- I'd rather sit alone."
"It's just thirty minutes."
Thirty minutes of awkward silence. Gee, thanks, Sunburst. They don't stay silent long, though. Which may be good, may be bad.
"Come on, Starlight, talk to me."
"About?"
"Your troubles. Tell me your side of the story." When he sees me hesitate, he adds, "Just tell me the basics." I guess he knows me well.
"I'm... hungry."
"No, like, tell me about why the incident happened." He looks at my stone face and pushes his fruit cup, unopened, towards me. "You need to eat as well."
I look at the cup and grab onto it as if it will save me from some serious damage. My shaky hooves slowly open the fruit cup, which I eat slowly, under the gentle watch of Sunburst.
"I did something wrong."
"What?"
"Oh, I dunno. It was an accident. But I don't want to sound stuck up. Stuck up ponies always say that they don't do anything wrong."
"Oh. Well, you're not stuck-up."
That little remark, and we're back to silence again.
I guess, eventually, it just slips out as conversation—something I never thought would happen: "Thing One and Thing Two. Strawberry Sunrise was being picked on by them. Or something like that, I guess. It looked like they were about to make her cry. Of course, being the nosy little brat I am, I had to interfere. And after they threatened to get violent, I told the teacher. Well, I went to go tell the teacher." And that's where everything goes wrong. Never tell the teacher is the number one rule of a popular kid. But I would never know that, of course.
"Yeah, and?" he probes.
"Well, maybe I was too fed up to watch my step, or maybe they were too fed up and wanted to see me trip, but there was a pencil that wasn't there a few seconds ago. And, being a klutz, I, of course, tripped. And the pencil, well..."
"Oh. Okay." He smiles. I can't bear to see him smile. Especially not at me. Not with that swollen eye I cost him. "Do you want me to explain to everyone that you're not a bad pony?"
"Nuh uh. It's pretty obvious that I'm not a villain."
"A villain is a big stretch, but you'll still be lonely."
I smirk, letting out an airy chuckle. "No. If I really was lonely, I wouldn't be talking to somepony right now."
He laughs. "But it's just me."
"I only need just you. Because you're a true friend with a pure heart. Just one question."
He leans forward and asks, "Yeah, what?"
"How did you bring yourself to confront me?"
We stare at each other, our eyes wide open, until he smiles and says, "It was easy. I just saw that you needed someone to talk to and came to you."
"Oh." I don't get it. I couldn't ever do that. Some ponies are just too good for me, for everyone. I don't know why I'm still living when there are amazing people like him to watch out for the world.
"Do you wanna... be friends?"
I look up at his face, at the sparkle in his eye. Does he really- does he really mean it? Does he actually, genuinely mean it? Will I finally have a true friend? And, I guess the answer is:
"Yes!"
Author's Note
🪷 "No mud, no lotus" -Thich Nhat Hanh 🪷
Where would all the pretty things be in life if it weren't for the ugly things?
A little one-shot I threw together just 'cause I was feeling low
It's rushed and sloppy but hope you enjoyed it anyways!
