Shoot. Let's Be Santa.

by RunicTreetops

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Anthology, Main 6, Discord, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Princess Luna, Anon, Second Person, Comedy
Length: 8855

You have way too many plans with your friends and family this Hearth's Warming Eve, but you won't let them down! ...Probably.

Your friends: Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy. Your sister-in-law: Luna. Your wife: Celestia. You've made the terrible decision of meeting up with each and every one of them this Hearth's Warming Eve.

Individually.

Sounds like you'd better get going!

Published 2023-12-25 00:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-12-25 00:10:00 UTC

Twilight's Holiday Research

Author's Note

Welcome to this year's holiday special from Runic. It's a silly, cozy bunch of mini-stories, so take a seat next to the fireplace, grab yourself a hot drink, and get comfortable.

We're going to have ourselves a lovely little Hearth's Warming Eve.

Twilight's Holiday Research

You roll your shoulders and yawn as you make your way through the large corridors of the Castle of Friendship. It’s still very early in the morning, but you already agreed to meet up with Twilight around this time.

In hindsight, it’s a good thing you did so. You have a really bad habit of not knowing when to say “no,” and as a result, you agreed to meet up with a few friends today. No, not all at once. That’d be too easy.

You’ve got six friends to visit. Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy. On top of that, you agreed to meet up with your sister-in-law, Luna. And on top of that, it wouldn’t do to leave your lovely wife Celestia alone for all of Hearth’s Warming Eve.

…Oh yeah, it’s Hearth’s Warming Eve, too. Easy-peasy, right?

You reach a familiar set of wooden doors, and you lazily throw them both open with practiced ease. You know this room to be none other than Twilight’s study. Believe it or not, this study doesn’t actually see much use. With how much she reads, Twilight tends to do most of her work in the actual library instead of in here.

However, today there will be no need for the library, if her request is anything to go by.

“Ah, good morning Anon!”

“Hiya, Twilight.”

You give her a gentle smile and a wave as you enter the room. She’s already sitting comfortably on a large, cozy-looking chair. She motions to the identical chair across from her, and you happily oblige. You carefully remove your heavy coat, hoof-woven hat, and your warm mittens as you make yourself comfortable.

Twilight’s horn glows as she uses her magic to levitate a tea set onto the small coffee table separating your chairs. Moments later, she continues to use that magic to pour you a cup and place it gently in your hands. Steam gently rises from the tea, and you relish the feeling of the warm drink after your cold journey here.

“So,” she says with a smile, “I know it was probably strange of me to ask this of you, especially today of all days.”

“I would be lying if I said I wasn’t curious as to why you wanted to do this now. Besides, haven’t we talked about my old home before?”

“Well, yes, but not enough to sate my curiosity. And the reason why I wanted to know today, specifically early in the morning, is because Spike, my parents, and myself are all going to the Crystal Empire for Hearth’s Warming this year. Our train leaves at around noon, so I wanted to do this first.”

“Hehe, wow. I’m amazed you aren’t freaking out about making sure you have everything done.”

“Don’t worry, Spike and I went over our checklist seventeen times already.”

You chuckle. Yeah, that sounds about right.

“And I take it that hearing stories about the holidays from my world has to do with this trip?”

“Precisely! I was hoping that I might be able to use your… well, for lack of a better term, ‘foreign’ viewpoint to make things a bit more interesting. You know, try out some human games, or songs, or whatever other traditions you might have!”

You look Twilight up and down. She’s absolutely beaming at you, and you know for a fact that she means every single word. Of course, what she isn’t saying is that she’s a bit of a fangirl when it comes to learning about your world and this is most likely a good excuse for her to interrogate you about it, but you digress.

This is what she asked of you. Come visit the Castle of Friendship early in the morning on Hearth’s Warming Eve and tell tales of “your human holidays.”

“Alright,” you say after taking another sip of your tea. “Well, let’s start with Christmas since it’s the most similar to Hearth’s Warming. We’ll cover the other holidays one at a time.”

“What’s the difference between them?”

You smile. Despite how similar the holiday season is in Equestria and your old world, you have a lot of explaining to do.

“Well-”

“Wait, hold on!”

Twilight’s horn glows as a familiar purple magic envelops it. There is a bit of rustling coming from somewhere behind you, but the tall back of your chair renders you unable to see the cause. However, moments later, said cause becomes clear as a piece of parchment floats rapidly towards Twilight.

A very, very long piece of parchment.

“Okay, continue!”

“Uhh… are you really going to need all that?”

“Sure am! I want to know every single detail. So please, by all means: begin!”

…Oh dear.

Rarity's (Somewhat Lengthy) Concert

Well, that took a lot longer than you were expecting.

You find yourself panting as you sprint into the small theater, sweat forming beneath your hat and gloves. A few ponies give you confused glances as you step into the back of the small line awaiting you there.

Luckily for you, there’s a clock nearby that tells you you’re just in time. You let out a sigh of relief as you rest your hands on your knees and bend over in an attempt to catch your breath.

You had promised Rarity you would get here on time, and you did, darn it!

“Hiya Anon!”

You turn around just in time to see Pinkie Pie barrelling into you. Despite the speed at which she rams into you, she bounces lightly off of you with a comical squeaking noise.

“H-hey, Pinkie,” you mumble through strained breaths, “I figured you’d be here already.”

“Well, that was the plan, but I had a feeling my burning buddy was gonna be cutting it close, so I figured I would too! And here you are!”

“Those ‘feelings’ of yours sure are accurate,” you say with a chuckle, having finally caught your breath. “W-wait, ‘burning buddy?’”

“Don’t worry about that right now, this is Rarity’s chapter!”

“Wha-”

“And look, it’s time for us to go in!”

Pinkie begins to gently push you forward into the theater, and you figure it’s better to just comply than try to fight her.

The theater itself is dark, save for the built-in lights allowing the audience to navigate the steps and reach their seats without tripping over each other. You’re thankful that it’s kept warm in here, as the frigid air outside isn’t getting any more bearable as the morning goes on.

You make your way to your seat, where Fluttershy is already happily waiting for you. Pinkie sits on your other side, greeting Fluttershy as she does so. There’s a curtain blocking your view of the stage, and you smile as you imagine how anxious Big Mac must be back there.

This is a Hearth’s Warming Eve Pony Tones concert. Rarity was really hoping her friends would be able to attend, and you were happy to oblige. At this point, Twilight has already left for her trip, while Rainbow Dash and Applejack had prior engagements. So, it’s just you, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie there to enjoy the songs she and her ensemble have been working on.

Slowly, the curtains open as the lights dim. Once the sound of shifting cloth ceases, a spotlight shines down onto the stage, illuminating the four ponies standing there. With an obviously forced smile, Big Mac begins to hum. Moments later, the rest of the Pony Tones begin to chime in.

They sound incredible, their voices harmonizing beautifully as they perform what you know to be a Hearth’s Warming classic. You cross your arms as you get a bit more comfortable in your seat. As expected, Rarity sounds wonderful, and it’s sure to be an excellent concert.

Wordlessly, Fluttershy slides you a set list. Your eyes fall from the stage to the small, hoofwritten words. Said eyes then proceed to go wide as you come to a realization.

There are a lot of songs on this list.

…You’re going to be here for a while.

You awaken as you hear a cacophony of hooves excitedly stomping the ground in applause. You instinctively join in, clapping your hands enthusiastically as the Pony Tones take a bow.

You weren’t out for that long, right?

The curtains close as the crowd around you begins to funnel back out of the building. You decide to wait in the theater alongside Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, knowing that Rarity intends to greet you once most of the crowd is gone.

The wait is thankfully much shorter than the show itself, and sure enough, Rarity steps out from backstage to meet up with the three of you. Pinkie and Fluttershy both excitedly hug her, while you stand back and offer her a verbal congratulations.

“Yes, well, I will admit that even I was a bit anxious about this. It’s by far the longest concert we’ve ever had. A part of me is relieved that it’s over.”

“You sounded lovely, Rarity.” Fluttershy gives Rarity her famous kind smile, which she seems appreciative of.

“I think that’s the best performance you’ve ever given,” you say with a grin.

“Oh?” Rarity takes a step towards you, the smile on her face slowly going from warm to… somewhat ominous. “Is that why you fell asleep halfway through?”

“I… I didn’t-”

“We all saw you, Anon!” Pinkie Pie, you aren’t helping. “It’s a good thing you weren’t snoring. That would’ve been suuuuuper embarrassing!”

“...”

“Regardless,” Rarity says with a mocking tone, “I appreciate you being here. I know you’re all quite busy, and aside from my family, I don’t think there’s anypony I’d rather see in that crowd.”

“Rarity… that’s really touching.” You place a hand on your chest, both to emphasize your point and to regain feeling in it after sleeping in a weird position for so long.

“Oh, I was speaking to Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, darling.”

“That’s… a lot less touching.”

The two of you stare at each other for a long, awkward moment before Rarity stifles a snort and begins to laugh.

“I’m kidding! I’m glad you’re here too, Anon. Sigh, even if you couldn’t make it all the way through.”

“Oh, don’t be upset, Rarity!” Pinkie shuffles closer to her, a wide grin on her face as she creeps way too far into her personal space (though she doesn’t even flinch, likely because she’s used to it). “Anon had to get up reeeeeeeeeally early! And he still has a long day ahead of him!”

“Oh? What business did you have this morning?”

“Twilight wanted me to-”

“Hold that thought!” Pinkie leaps into the air in shock before she starts to push you away from Rarity and Fluttershy. “Speaking of business, you and I need to get going!”

“O-oh, okay. See ya Rares! Happy Hearth’s Warming!”

“You too darling!”

Pinkie's Ancient Yak Tradition

“...Where are we?”

You blink. Last you checked, you were in Ponyville’s little theater. Now, the area around you appears to be… different. It’s caked in snow, and the temperature is drastically lower than it just was. Your warm clothing is doing little to protect you from the biting wind, and you immediately feel yourself shivering.

Seriously, how did you get here? Where even is here?

“Welcome to Yakyakistan, Anon! This is what I wanted to do with you today!”

“YAKYAKISTAN?! Pinkie, how are we here?! WHY are we here?!”

“First, some good ol’ holiday spirit. Second, we’re here because I want to take part in an ancient yak tradition, and I’m gonna need your help to do it!”

You stare at Pinkie Pie, your mouth agape. Nonsensical though it may be, you’re willing to brush off the fact that you seemingly teleported halfway across the continent. That’s just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie, after all.

What you’re less willing to brush off is taking part in an “ancient yak tradition.” Not that you have anything against the yaks, you just happen to know that their traditions tend to get a little… physical. And you’re far from sturdy.

“A-and what would that tradition be, exactly?”

“Simple!” she says with an enthusiastic smile as the two of you walk towards what looks to be a tall fence made of wood. “We’re gonna commit arson!” You stop in your tracks, causing Pinkie to turn and look at you. She tilts her head as if your confusion is unexpected. “...What?”

“Arson?”

“Yeah!” Donning her carefree smile once more, she wraps her hooves around your hand and continues to pull you forward. “Like I said, it’s an ancient yak tradition. Every year, the town of Yakle constructs a big ol’ yak made out of straw, and on Snilldar Fest, they SMASH IT!”

“Oooookay?” Why are you not surprised? “Forgive me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Snilldar Fest not for a few days? Also, what does that have to do with arson?”

“Now that’s a silly question!” Pinkie stops tugging you along as you reach a massive wooden gate, but rather than knock or… do whatever it is you’re supposed to do at Yakyakistan, Pinkie begins to walk along the rest of the fence while beckoning for you to follow. “You see, a long long time ago, a mysterious yak set the straw on fire! The whole thing burned to the ground. At first, all of the yaks were really angry, but to their surprise, an avalanche happened that night and buried half the town! The yaks that had no homes were able to stay warm by the big straw fire!”

“I… see.”

“Now, it’s tradition to try to burn the straw yak to the ground before Snilldar Fest. To keep it interesting and to maintain the whole ‘it’s illegal to commit arson’ thing, Yakle locals will try to stop and arrest anycreature who tries. It’s like an unspoken rule to stop anyone from burning it down while secretly wanting it to be burned down.”

“W-wait, what was that about getting arres–”

“If someone succeeds in burning it down, Yakle celebrates with a huge bonfire! If it doesn’t get burned down, they get to smash it like usual! And since yours truly is an honorary yak, I figured it be an injustice to Yakle if I didn’t at least give it a try!”

“And if you get caught?”

“That’s what you’re here for!”

…Huh?

You sprint as fast as your legs can carry you through the shaking, snow-covered landscape. You breathe heavily as you use every ounce of strength you have to move as quickly as possible, not daring to look back at the source of the rumbling ground. To your left, Pinkie Pie runs alongside you, an uncharacteristic look of anxiety on her face.

“What was THAT?!” you belt out through strained breaths.

“Okay so I might have miscalculated my plan of attack.”

“Miscalculated?!”

“How was I supposed to know there was a family of twelve living in the shack I planned to hide in?”

“Why am I even here?!”

“If everything went according to plan, you would have distracted the crowd right when I shot the flaming arrow!”

“How?! What crowd?! What flaming arrow?!”

“Didn’t I tell you the plan earlier?”

“NO!”

“...Oh.” Even through her pink coat, her cheeks gain a reddish tint as she giggles nervously. “Oopsies.”

“What now?! Half of Yakyakistan is chasing us!”

“Just keep running!”

“Can’t you zip us back to Ponyville? Like you did when you brought us here?”

“It doesn’t work like that, Anon!”

“But–”

“JUST RUN!!!”

Rainbow Dash's Blizzard Blitz

You lay flat on your back, the cold grass beneath you offering little comfort. However, anything is better than the veritable marathon you just ran to escape those yaks. How in the world you made it all the way back to Ponyville is beyond you.

You stare at the gray sky above as your poor, aching lungs do their best to manage your intake of the cold air. In a way, it’s almost soothing. Or maybe that’s just the adrenaline finally wearing off.

After a few moments, however, your view is suddenly blocked by the dark outline of somepony standing above you. You narrow your eyes and attempt to raise a hand into the air, but your exhaustion won’t let you.

“You okay there, dude?”

You’d recognize that voice anywhere. How lucky that it’s the mare you were supposed to meet up with next.

“Hey, Rainbow Dash.”

“You look like you want to die.”

“I think I almost did.” You struggle to sit upright. After failing a couple of times, Dash grabs your arms and helps pull you up. “Thanks.”

“What happened to you?”

“Pinkie Pie. Yaks. Snilldar Fest. Long story.”

“Dude.” Rainbow Dash takes a seat next to you, her curious face slowly morphing into a grin as she starts to laugh. “If I weren’t about to start the Blizzard Blitz, I’d want to know all about it.”

“Maybe another time, then.” You smile as you finally regain your bearings. Looking around, you appear to be near the outskirts of the Everfree Forest. You don’t remember trying to run here specifically, so it’s fortunate that it’s where you ended up regardless. “Speaking of, I know you asked me to be your ‘spotter,’ but what does that really mean? I haven’t had a lot of time to look into this competition of yours.”

“Luckily for you, it’s not too complicated. See, every other Hearth’s Warming Eve, pegasi from across Equestria gather at the Everfree Forest. Since we can’t control the weather in there, it tends to get really, really cold. Sometimes there's even a blizzard going on! So, thrill-seeking competitors like yours truly race from one end of the forest to the other through the freezing conditions to see who is the Blizzard Blitz champion!”

“Okay…” You mumble to yourself as you attempt to stand up fully. You stumble a bit, causing Dash to jump to her hooves and help you up again. “Thanks.” You clear your throat. “Anyway, where do I come in?”

“Ehehe…” She awkwardly rubs at the back of her head as her eyes drift to the side. “To be honest, you don’t really do much.” She locks eyes with you again and gives you a sheepish grin. “Since our flying conditions might be dangerous and it’s unreasonable to expect there to be staff all across the Everfree, every competitor is supposed to have a spotter. That way, if a certain flier gets lost or injured or whatever, there is someone there to notice.”

“Wait, so I have to help you if something bad happens?”

“Well ideally you’d tell the rest of the staff too and they’d send a search party out. S-still, it’s just a formality! Nopony has ever actually gotten lost or hurt during the race, especially not me.”

“Now don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to help out. But… why did you ask for me specifically?”

“Usually I have Twilight do it, but she already left for the Crystal Empire.”

“Ah. Right.”

“Anyway, the race starts in half an hour. Are you ready?”

“Oh, shouldn’t I be on the far side of the forest?”

“Nope! That’s the starting line! You’re gonna stand right over there!”

She points behind you, causing you to turn around. Sure enough, there’s a group of warmly dressed ponies gathered a few hundred feet away beneath a large, makeshift archway.

“Huh. Neat.”

“By the by, mind keeping my time for me?”

Dash slips a stopwatch into your hands and gives you a grin. You can’t help but smile back. Something about her cocky demeanor is infectious.

“Sure thing.”

“The staff will let you know when the race starts.” With a kick of her legs, Dash shoots about ten feet into the air. “I’ll see you at the finish line!”

“Good luck!”

You wave to her as she flies off into the distance. Knowing her, she’ll win that race with ease. You probably don’t even need to be here, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

“And that’s Shutter Flash finishing in first place!”

There’s a roar of cheers from the relatively small crowd around you. Sure enough, a pegasus mare just flew through the large archway at breakneck speeds. You turn back towards the Everfree Forest just in time to see three more pegasi come barrelling across the finish line.

That’s… concerning. Rainbow Dash is the fastest flier around. Everyone knows that. There’s no way she would just lose a race like this, right?

For a moment, you feel your nerves begin to flare up. Did something happen to her after all? Just as you consider walking over to the staff, you stop yourself. No, no. Dash is a strong mare. She’s more than capable of taking care of herself. Maybe she’s just having a rough go of it.

And yet, as the seconds turn to minutes and more and more competitors cross the finish line, you find yourself becoming increasingly worried. Where is she? She should be here by now, right?

You glance down at the stopwatch. Her best time was five minutes ago. For a racer, that’s basically an eternity. Turning towards the small scoreboard, you notice that a small mare is rearranging the names based on how they placed. As of now, only two fliers haven’t finished yet.

“And here’s Stormy Night coming in hot!”

…One competitor.

Oh no.

“DAAAASH!”

You call out desperately into the frigid air. You and the rest of the staff have now entered the Everfree Forest, the most dangerous place in Equestria. However, as the finished racers had warned you about, a blizzard has indeed been ravaging the deeper parts of the forest.

Visibility is low. To say that it’s cold would be an understatement. Even Yakyakistan has nothing on this. If you aren’t careful, you might never make it back out. Two mares walk alongside you, each assisting in calling for your lost friend.

The rest of the rescue team split off in an attempt to cover more ground. Staying in groups ensures that no one member gets lost, but having multiple groups is more effective considering how huge the Everfree is.

The three of you continue your search for what feels like an eternity, though whether that’s due to your nerves or the bitter cold, you’re not sure.

Suddenly, you trip over something. You roll over onto your back to see what caught your foot, expecting to see yet another tree root or something. However, what you find instead is the cold, light-blue form of Rainbow Dash, her body half-covered in snow.

“Dash!”

“..non… Anon!”

“H-huh?!”

Your eyes shoot open as you suddenly wake up. Standing in front of you is the unmistakable form of Applejack. She has removed her hat and is holding it over her chest as she looks as you with concern.

“And what about you? Ya alright?”

“Am I… ugh, I’m drowsy. Where am I?”

“You’re at the hospital, sugarcube. Ya carried Dash all the way here in a blizzard.”

You rub your eyes and try to take in your surroundings. Sure enough, you appear to be sitting in a small chair next to a window in a hospital room. Sitting in the bed behind Applejack is Rainbow Dash, who seems to be fully conscious. She looks at you with tired eyes, her expression apologetic.

“Dash? Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m gonna be fine.” You notice that she’s being kept extremely comfortable in that bed. “They said it’s nothing short of a miracle that I didn’t get frostbite or something.”

“What happened to you out there?”

“I don’t really know. One moment I thought everything was going fine, the next I woke up in… well, in your arms.” You notice a blush make its way to her face as she looks away from you. “Th-thanks for that.”

After staring at her for a few moments, you chuckle.

“That’s what the spotter is supposed to do, right?”

“W-well, yeah, I’m just a bit mad that I had to be the pony getting rescued. Ugh, the other Wonderbolts aren’t going to let me live this down.”

“Now that’s enough of that, Dash.” Applejack trots up to Rainbow Dash’s side with a stern look on her face. “Accidents happen sometimes, and we’re just happy you’re alive. You should be, too. This could have ended much differently.”

After a moment, Dash sighs.

“Yeah.” Beneath her breath, she mumbles. “Yeah.”

“Anyhoo, they said they were lettin’ you out later tonight, right?”

“That’s what they told me after I woke up.”

“Then mind if I grab Anon and head out? We’ve got some business of our own we need to take care of while we’ve still got daylight.”

“Sure, go ahead.” Rainbow Dash reclines in her bed. She’s gotten strangely used to getting hospitalized. “My parents are coming to Ponyville for the holidays, so it’s not like I’m gonna be late for Hearth’s Warming or anything.”

“Well, if you say so. Are ya ready, Anon? That whole rescue mission looks like it took a lot out of ya.”

“I’m good,” you groan as you stand from your seat. “It’s been a long day, and I have a feeling it’s far from over.”

“Well, hopefully I don’t make things worse for ya.”

“Somehow, I doubt that you could if you tried.”

Applejack's Gift-Giving Dilemma

“Alright, so what’s the occasion?”

The two of you come to a stop in the middle of Ponyville’s humble little market. There are quite a few ponies walking to and fro, likely doing some last-minute holiday shopping. The air is still quite cold, but compared to Yakyakistan and the Everfree blizzard, it feels downright comfortable.

You turn towards Applejack as you wait for a response. She asked if you could meet up with her a little before sundown in a letter yesterday, but she didn’t say why.

The fact that she is doing her best to look at literally anything other than you only makes you more suspicious.

“Well, ya see… the thing is… I just…”

“You alright, AJ?”

“Y-yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s not like you to stutter like that. Is something wrong?”

“I-I wouldn’t say wrong exactly, I just… I don’t know…” Applejack closes her eyes and sighs. She takes a moment before opening her eyes again, but when she does so, she makes sure to look directly at you. It’s clear from her expression alone that she is troubled by something. “Look, I didn’t know who else to turn to about this. You’re my closest friend who has… well, a wife.”

“Yeah, Tia and I got married a few months ago. What about it?”

“Well… ugh, horseapples.” Applejack leans towards you while motioning for you to bend down, which you hesitantly do. After a moment, she begins to whisper into your ear. “D-Dash and I have been… we’ve been seein’ each other. A-all romantic-like, I mean.”

You can’t help but smile at that.

“Congratulations, AJ!”

“Shhh!” She looks around nervously after trying to shush you. “We’re tryin' to keep it to ourselves as much as possible. F-for now, at least.”

You let out a chuckle.

“Alright, that’s your prerogative. So, why tell me?”

“Because I still need to get her somethin’ for Hearth’s Warmin’, and I’m plum outta ideas.”

“Now that I can help with.” You stand back up and lean back, resting your head in your hands, thankful that one of your friends is taking it easy on you today. “Still, I’m surprised you waited until the last minute.”

“I was hopin’ I’d come up with somethin’ on my own, and I couldn’t start until just a bit ago because I’ve been baking for both my family and Pinkie’s all day.” Her eyes suddenly widen. “Er, I guess I’ll need to apologize to Rarity for not makin’ it to her concert.”

“Eh, Dash and Twilight didn’t go either. Twilight’s on a train right now, and Dash was preparing for her race.”

“Still… well, I guess that’s not important right now. What have you got for me, sugarcube?”

“I’m assuming you’re hoping for something a bit more… ‘personal’ than a regular Dash gift?”

“Well, yeah. I could buy just about anythin’ that has to do with Darin’ Do and she’d eat that right up, but I’m not sure if that’s really what I’m goin’ for.”

“Hmhm. See, I went through this a while ago myself. When you’re dating the most important pony in the country, who could get literally anything she wants with a wave of her hoof, how are you supposed to buy a gift? The solution is simpler than I thought.”

“...And that is?”

“Give her something only you can provide.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“What can Applejack give Rainbow Dash that no other pony can? That’s what you should be asking.”

“...Well, what are ya gettin’ Celestia? That might help me here.”

“I’ve been working on something special. You know how you have cameras here in Equestria to take pictures?”

“Er, yeah?”

“Back in my old world, we could use cameras to record stuff. Like, rather than just having a picture, it’d make something that captures a certain amount of time, movement and all.”

“You mean like those ‘animation’ things they got over in Manehattan?”

“Exactly! Imagine that, but with a bunch of pictures back to back to back so quickly that you can’t tell they’re swapping. I knew a thing or two back home, and I think I’ve finally managed to pull it off. That’s what I want to give her... something that will help her relive the time she has with me in the future.”

Applejack briefly tilts her head at you, but quickly straightens herself out as she realizes the weight of your words.

“Well, that’s mighty thoughtful of you, Anon.”

You give her a smile.

“Now just ask yourself what you can do for Dash.”

“...Hm.” She puts a hoof to her chin as she scrunches up her nose. “Well, I’m good with apples, I guess.”

“Does she like apples?”

“That’s a silly question.”

“Is there something apple-related Dash really, really likes?”

“Sure, she likes apple fritters, apple pastries, apple– WAIT!”

“Hm?”

“Apple cider! That’s it!”

“Can you even make apple cider? Isn’t it out of season?”

Applejack stares at seemingly nothing, apparently completely lost in thought. She remains that way for several seconds until she suddenly stomps her hoof.

“It might not be much, but I think I can make a few mugs. It’ll take some time, though.”

“That sounds like a great way to warm her up after she gets out of the hospital, too.” You gently place your hand on her back, a sly grin on your face. “Y’know, apart from–”

“That’s enough! I’m headin’ out! Thanks Anon!”

Applejack trots away, her face having almost immediately turned crimson at your teasing. With a quiet chuckle, you turn around and begin to make your way to your last stop in Ponyville: Fluttershy’s cottage.

Fluttershy(?)'s Light Show

You gently knock on the door to Fluttershy’s humble abode. At this point, you probably look extremely haggard. The sun has mostly set, and it has most certainly been an eventful day. Thankfully, this is your last stop before returning home to Canterlot.

You got a letter from Fluttershy a few days ago inviting you to visit a light show with her. She had won three tickets in a local fundraiser, and after herself and Discord, she wasn’t sure who else to invite. Figuring that of her friends you’re the only one who hasn’t seen them, she decided to give that third ticket to you. And who are you to decline?

Seriously, have you seen Fluttershy? Sure, you have a hard time saying “no” to anyone, but Fluttershy?

After a few moments, you can’t help but notice that you aren’t getting a response. You lightly tap your foot on the cold ground below. It’s not like her to be late.

Suddenly, the sound coming from the tapping of your foot changes. It goes from a solid “thud” noise to a softer “pfft” noise. You look down at the ground, only to find that you appear to be standing (and tapping your foot) on... a cloud? Actually, it appears that aside from the cloud, the ground below you has disappeared, replaced by the darkened winter sky.

Looking upwards, you see Fluttershy’s cottage hanging upside-down above you. Well, it would be more accurate to say that you’re upside-down. And there can be only one culprit.

“Discord!”

“What? Didn’t you say you were looking forward to ‘hanging out?’”

Discord laughs as you hear him snap his fingers, magically returning you to your normal standing position.

“Hi, Discord.”

“Oh, you should really speak with less energy. Otherwise I’d think you weren’t happy to see me!”

In truth, you’re not. You’ve never been all that close with Discord. You’ve forgiven him for his past misdeeds and all that, but you still try to keep a close eye on him. You’re not afraid that he’ll willingly get somepony hurt or anything, you’re just afraid that he’ll accidentally do that.

A penchant for mischief and untold amounts of power tend to not pan out well.

“Where’s Fluttershy?”

“She is a bit preoccupied taking care of… well, I suppose it’d be a waste of time to not just show you.”

With another snap of his fingers, Discord teleports the both of you into the cottage. You’re in one of Fluttershy’s guest bedrooms, where the mare herself is anxiously sitting on a stool next to the bed.

Resting in the bed itself is none other than Angel Bunny. His eyes are closed, and his face is so flushed that you can immediately recognize what’s going on.

“Fluttershy?”

She turns to look at you. Her mane is frazzled and sticking up in more than a couple of places. It’s a far cry from how she looked at Rarity’s concert this morning.

“H-hello, Anon.” She turns her attention towards Discord. “Thank you for letting him in.”

Discord bows, though even as his noodle-like body comes to a stop, his head continues to float straight down, phasing right through his neck and down into the floor.

“Something wrong with Angel, I take it?”

“Yes. When I came back home after Rarity’s concert, he was already like this. I brought him to Dr. Fauna, and although he’s going to be okay, I have to administer his medicine every half-hour. I, uh…” She turns back towards him, worry evident on her face. “I can’t really leave his side.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. I hope he starts feeling better.”

“Me, too.” Suddenly, she lifts her head and looks back towards you. “Oh! I completely forgot about the light show!”

“Don’t worry about it, this is more important.”

“No no no, I don’t want to deprive you of that!”

“Fluttershy, I don’t–”

“Oh, but Discord will still go with you! Won’t you, Discord?”

Discord’s head pops right back into place and his back suddenly straightens out. His eyes are as wide as yours.

“Er, can you repeat that?”

“You’ll go with Anon to the light show, right?”

Discord slowly turns to look at you. Just as you have a few misgivings about Discord, he isn’t the biggest fan of you.

However, through his apprehension, his typical, mischievous smile returns to his face.

“Of course I will! He’ll get to enjoy the show, and we’ll be out of your hair!”

At some point during that sentence, he disappeared and reappeared as a much smaller version of himself in Fluttershy’s mane.

“Thank you!”

“It will be his pleasure.”

With a snap and a flash, Discord reappears next to you once more.

“No time like the present, eh?”

“W-wait–”

Before you can react, a flash of light indicates that you’ve both been teleported. You now stand in the middle of a large, grassy field. Rolling hills stretch out for miles before you. The dark, overcast sky hangs above you, and there isn’t a tree in sight. If you had to guess, you’d say that you’re in the fields out beyond Sweet Apple Acres.

Although it’s dark, you’re fairly certain you can see a few figures out in the distance. How you managed to notice them before the confused crowd standing around you, you’re not sure.

“Is this it?”

“Yes, though there does appear to be a lack of lights, doesn’t there?”

One snap later and Discord has disappeared once more. Suddenly, the field is lit up by light. You look to the sky, only to see a Discord-shaped face made out of floating red-and-green orbs staring back at you.

“Discord, I think the show just hasn’t started yet.”

“Ugh, obviously.” As he speaks, the lights shift to indicate his moving mouth. With a flash, he appears next to you once again. “You’re really no fun, you know that?”

You sigh.

“Look, I don’t care if you enjoy yourself, just try not to get in anypony else’s way.”

“Fine, fine.” His voice is a grumble. “I’ll just get in your way.”

You expected this, to be completely honest. After a moment, you take a deep breath.

“If that’s the price I have to pay to avoid you causing a scene, sure.”

Discord looks at you with surprise for the briefest of moments before his smile returns. However, before he can say anything, you notice a light. Then another. The next thing you know, hundreds upon hundreds of lights appear to be floating through the air.

No, scratch that. They look like they’re bubbling up from the earth before rising into the sky. Orbs of all kinds of colors fill the night, gently drifting around each other like some sort of ethereal dance. In that moment, you realize that this “light show” is the work of some very talented unicorns down in that field.

There is no word to describe it other than “beautiful.”

“You think so?” Discord looks at you with an ominous grin. You didn’t even say that out loud. “Why don’t we get a closer look, then?”

“Discord, what are you–”

The next thing you know, you’re hundreds of feet off the ground looking down at the lights from above. It’s extremely cold, and the wind isn’t making matters any better for you.

A few more light orbs appear around you, each of them conspicuously Discord-colored.

“Come on, it’s like a dance! Dance with me!”

At this point, you realize that you, too, lack any limbs. You’re a vaguely human-colored orb floating through the night sky. If you had a mouth, you’d sigh.

This is your evening, you suppose.

With a snap of his fingers, Discord brings the both of you back to Fluttershy’s front door. He stretches his back in an obviously exaggerated fashion before looking down at you with a satisfied expression.

“Well, that was certainly fun.”

“Yeah, it only felt like you were going to kill me a couple dozen times.”

“Really? Hmm. I should have tried harder.”

You sigh.

“...Well, thanks for going with me anyway.”

“Oh, can it with the sarcasm. We both know you were here for Fluttershy.”

“You’re my friend too, Discord. I might not enjoy a lot of your…” You wave your hand in front of you, unsure of what point you’re trying to make by doing so. “...Antics. But, I still appreciate the fact that you were willing to take me anyway. So, thank you.”

“...W-well–”

“Oh, and before I forget.” You reach into one of your inner coat pockets and gently pull out a small, clear pouch filled with tiny seeds. “Here’s your Hearth’s Warming gift. I already gave out everypony else’s, but I couldn’t get into contact with you quite as easily.”

“A… a gift? What is it?”

“Poison Joke seeds. You can’t grow anything in that home dimension of yours, right? Well, I had Tia enchant these. So long as you take care of them, you should be able to grow them over there. Sorry if you’re not a fan, I just figured Poison Joke specifically would be up your alley.”

You place the pouch into Discord’s mismatching hands. For a moment, he is quiet as he looks at the pouch. Slowly, his gaze turns up to you.

“I didn’t think you’d get me anything. Or that you’d take me for a gardener.”

“My bad if you’re not. I just figured you might get a bit lonely in that dimension of yours. I don’t know if prank-pulling flowers are the best company, but if anyone can make it work, I’m sure it’s you.”

Discord continues to look at you with shock. This is the first time you’ve ever left him well and truly speechless.

“I… er. Thank you, I suppose.”

You give him a smile.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming.”

You turn around to leave, but as you do so, you hear him sigh.

“Oh, alright, fine.”

You hear Discord’s fingers snap one final time. A bright flash fills your vision, and the next thing you know, you’re standing in front of Canterlot Castle.

“Discord?”

“Look, the least I can do in return is save you a train ride. Now… never mention it again.”

With one more flash, Discord disappears.

…Maybe he’s not so bad after all.

Luna's Hearth's Warming Dinner

You struggle to keep your eyes open as you enter the grand castle looming over the capital of Equestria. The guards that protect the large front entrance step aside as you quietly thank them for working on Hearth’s Warming Eve. Upon making your way into the entrance hall, the sounds of your footsteps echoing through the massive building and the occasional yawn escaping you are the only things breaking the silence.

Aside from a select few members of the Royal Guard who volunteered, Hearth’s Warming Eve and Hearth’s Warming are the only days of the year that the castle is empty. There is no staff. No work is being done. The only creatures in the castle are a handful of volunteers and those that live there.

You are, of course, one of those few castle residents.

You yawn again as you slowly make your way through the winding halls. The castle is huge, but you’ve had more than enough time to figure out how to get around. Plus, your destination is usually the same. On the highest floor of the castle are the royal bedchambers. These bedchambers are connected via a hallway that has all the amenities the royal family could ever need, including a kitchen, a dining space, a grand bathroom, and even a couple of studies.

Although your lovely wife is likely asleep in your shared bedroom, you have one more stop to make before you can finally retire for the night.

You gently open the door to the kitchen. It’s a massive kitchen, and it’s not even the castle’s main kitchen. This one is never used by the castle’s chefs, and is intended exclusively for when the royals themselves want to cook.

Usually, it’s just you that uses it. Tia loves cooking, but it didn’t take long for her to get hooked on yours. You might not be able to compete with the castle’s chefs, but you have the benefit of some home-grown recipes your mama taught ya.

Thanks mama Anon.

Of course, if it were up to you, you’d be going to bed right now. However, you made one last promise, and you intend to keep it.

“Hey, Lulu.”

“Good evening, Anon.”

Princess Luna, the alicorn ruler of the night. To most ponies, she is distant. Mysterious. Cool. And yet, they also know her to be kind and understanding, willing to stick up for what’s right and defend the “little guy,” as it were.

To you, she’s your sister-in-law.

With an exhausted gait, you remove your hat, mittens, and coat, gingerly placing them by the door before making your way to Luna’s side.

“So, what have you got done?”

“A couple of pies and the mashed potatoes.”

“That’s it?”

“If I was capable of making it all on my own, I wouldn’t have needed to ask for your help.”

“Touché.” You rub your eyes and saunter over to the fridge. “Can you start chopping some onions for me?”

“You just want to watch me tear up,” she says with a chuckle.

“Would you prefer to shred this cheese?”

“...Y-yes.”

Luna isn't much of a cook.

You toss her a block of cheddar, which she catches with her magic. Indeed, you agreed to help Luna prepare a surprise meal for Celestia on Hearth’s Warming. Ordinarily you would cook this stuff the day of, but thanks to some good old alicorn magic, you can preserve it like it was just made for up to a day. Since your wife is such a heavy sleeper, this seemed like the ideal time to do it without her noticing.

“Are you okay?” You glance at Luna, who stares back at you with concern. “You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“It’s… certainly been an eventful day.”

“I knew you had plans in Ponyville, but that was all I knew.”

“I got pulled in a bunch of different directions,” you explain as you deftly chop up some onions. “But, I think everything turned out okay.”

“For you, that’s a bit of a rare occurrence.”

“I’ll say.”

“You know, if you want to go to bed, we can do this in the morning. I won’t judge.”

“Nah, I promised you I’d be here and I intend to keep that promise.”

“Well, I appreciate that.” She walks behind you to get to the fridge where she grabs the sour cream. She makes an effort to rub a wing along your back as she goes back to the counter she was just at. “You need to work on that posture too, dude.”

“How would you know? You’re not a human.”

“Because when the knots in your back are so severe that I can see them, you have a problem.”

“...Whatever, mom.”

You both share a chuckle as you continue to cook into the night. It’s quiet, and she has the kitchen lights down really low. She’s always preferred the darkness, and in a strange way, it feels cozy.

Especially after the day you’ve had.

Finally, you lean back against the counter. Your casserole is now in the oven, and once that’s finished, the two of you will finally be done. You glance at a nearby clock, noticing that it’s after midnight.

“Hey, Lulu?”

“Hm?”

“This is probably going to sound weird, but if I had to have somepony as a sister… well, I’m glad it was you.”

“...Hmhm. What, trying to make sure I don’t go all Nightmare Moon on you?”

“No, just trying to live up to the spirit of Hearth’s Warming.”

“...Well.” She lifts her head a bit as she walks past you, the smile on her face doing little to conceal the blush in her cheeks. “I can think of no one better suited to help me handle Celestia. I know this probably sounds foolish coming from the younger sister, but… I was worried that she might never find love. Or that if she did, it would be with somepony who didn't have her best interests in mind.”

“And instead, you got little ol’ me.”

Before she makes it all the way past you, she gently smacks you in the stomach with her tail, lightly winding you but mostly just humoring the both of you.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming, Anon.”

“You too, Lulu.”

Celestia's Long-Awaited Cuddle

As you exit the kitchen, you realize that it’s significantly colder in the hallway. That is, of course, almost certainly due to the oven making the kitchen warm, but you digress. Either way, you opted to not put your warm clothes back on, which are instead being carried in your arms.

Deciding to hasten your pace, you quickly make it to a large door marked with a familiar sun insignia. With a sigh of relief, you gently open the door as quietly as you can. It has been a very, very, very long day. But you know what?

You’re finally home free.

However, you’re caught off guard as you enter the large room. The bedroom you share with Princess Celestia is circular, with all the amenities you could possibly need that can’t be found in the hallway. A grand, king-size canopy bed, a luxuriously soft rug, an ornate vanity, a walk-in closet with more space than your entire apartment back in your old world, a private bathroom separate from the one in the hall, and even a glass double door that leads to a balcony with a spectacular view of Equestria.

Despite all of that, what currently has your attention is on the far side of the room. There’s a large fireplace there that admittedly sees very little use. However, at the moment, it appears that a fire has been lit.

And there, seated comfortably on the ground in front of it, is the dark outline of your beautiful wife, Celestia.

She turns to look at you, apparently having heard the quiet creaking of the door opening. The fire illuminates the far side of her body, giving you just enough to see that she’s smiling a tired smile at you. A soft-looking, holiday-themed hat adorns her head, her long horn poking through a hole made specifically for it. A large blanket is draped around her sizeable form, and she has removed all of her typical regalia.

All in all, she looks quite comfortable.

Without saying a word, she taps the space on the ground next to her. You give her a warm smile and set your winter clothes to the side before getting comfortable (and washing up a bit, it has been a hectic day) and plopping down next to her.

“I’m surprised you’re still up.” Your voice is soft and quiet, as it doesn’t feel right speaking any louder in this moment.

“Sunshine. It’s our first Hearth’s Warming Eve together as a married couple. Did you really think I was going to go to sleep before I could spend some time with you?”

“Oh…” You did know that it's your first Hearth's Warming Eve together, of course, but you thought she didn’t mind that you had so much to do. You feel a weight settle in your chest as your eyes droop to the floor. “I’m… I’m so sorry.”

To your surprise, you feel her wrap one of her large wings around you. It’s extremely soft and comforting, and to make that feeling even stronger, she slowly leans on you. She rests her head on your shoulder while the rest of her body presses against your side. You react by wrapping your arm around her as well, pulling her in just a bit closer.

Tia has always run a little warm. Whether that’s due to her being the princess of the sun or not is up for debate, but it’s always a comfortable amount of warmth. Her horn briefly hums as the yellow glow of her magic illuminates the fire-lit room. The next thing you know, her thick, comforting blanket is draped around the both of you. It creeps around your back before wrapping around your front, encapsulating both of you.

It’s difficult to describe just how cozy this scene is as you both look into the fire.

“Don’t be sorry. You wouldn’t be my lovely husband if you didn’t have a penchant for… not knowing when to quit, shall we say?”

“Heh, you make me sound stubborn.”

“Well, you are, but I more so meant that you have a hard time turning ponies down. Not that that’s a problem. I just wish you took better care of yourself.”

“And made more time for you?”

“Sunshine, with how busy my schedule is on a normal day, I’m in no position to judge you for being busy on one silly holiday. Besides...” Despite your position, she nuzzles her cheek against yours. It’s extremely soft. “You’re here now, right?”

“...Right.”

You turn your head to look at her, and her beautiful magenta eyes lock with your own. Both of you wear warm smiles as you silently gaze at each other. Neither of you say anything else. Neither of you need to say anything else. You’re content.

You slowly lean forward, and she has the same idea. Moments later, your lips touch. The two of you stay like that, simply enjoying the moment, for a long, long time, the only sounds in that Canterlot Castle bedroom being the crackling fire and your gentle breathing.

Finally, your lips part.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming, Tia.”

“Hmhm. Happy Hearth’s Warming, my sunshine.”

Author's Note

Thank you all so much for reading and joining me on this festive adventure.

Happy holidays!