The house robots visit the tearoom

by Pony Riff

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: A New Generation, Other, Slice of Life, Crossover, Alphabittle, Anthology, Misty
Length: 2433

A G5 crossover anthology featuring the famous House Robots from the British TV Show, Robot Wars!

This story is a crossover, and it features the House Robots from the late 90’s and early 00’s British TV show, Robot Wars.

This is a small G5 anthology series in which the robots visit Alphabittle’s Crystal tea room in Bridlewood, either to chat with others or something else.

The stories will feature small descriptions at the top, showcasing a video of the house robots in the current story, and my desired voice actors for them, most of which are the Cast members from another more recent BBC show, The Goes Wrong Show. It’s a really funny show I would really recommend!

Published 2023-12-20 22:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-05-14 08:37:18 UTC

Mr Psycho And Cassius Chrome

For Mr Psycho‘s voice, see here: https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwjmhbrQ_56DAxXO_rsIHRfTAGQQtwJ6BAgeEAI&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dkuy_AGB2OqU&usg=AOvVaw2DHaZkcSrfMUM69GT7nZI0&opi=89978449
To see Mr Psycho’s appearance, see here: https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=robot+wars+mr+psycho&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-gb&client=safari#
For Cassius Chrome’s voice, see here (Imagine him with both a British and American accent and see which one sounds better.): https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwjb-7fq_56DAxWShP0HHd1CDGQQtwJ6BAgWEAI&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DeOMND0ffDPk&usg=AOvVaw2hwI1TpYTHB5GtdyGhuJlL&opi=89978449
To see Cassius Chrome’s appearance, see here: https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=robot+wars+cassius+chrome&client=safari&sca_esv=592634044&hl=en-gb&ei=t2GDZaK-AvmI9u8PxoiCiAc&ved=0ahUKEwji9YzO_56DAxV5hP0HHUaEAHEQ4dUDCA8&uact=5&oq=robot+wars+cassius+chrome&gs_lp=Egxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAiGXJvYm90IHdhcnMgY2Fzc2l1cyBjaHJvbWUyBRAAGIAEMgsQABiABBiKBRiGAzILEAAYgAQYigUYhgMyCxAAGIAEGIoFGIYDMgsQABiABBiKBRiGA0iNQVD0BlixP3AMeAGQAQCYAakBoAGtEKoBBDE4LjW4AQPIAQD4AQHCAgoQABhHGNYEGLADwgIKEAAYgAQYigUYQ8ICBRAuGIAEwgILEAAYgAQYigUYkQLCAgsQLhiRAhiABBiKBcICBhAAGBYYHsICBRAhGKABwgIHEAAYgAQYDeIDBBgAIEGIBgGQBgg&sclient=gws-wiz-serp#

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
Jasper walked towards the door. He was a little out of sorts, because usually ponies visiting just entered without knocking. But what jasper opened the doors to reveal was no pony but a pair large machines. Robots to be more precise.

One of them, the bigger one, had a face of metal, and two arms, one with a ferocious looking three fingered claw, and the other a giant mallet presumably to strike things with. The other smaller one had two small eyes, one of which was half closed as if it were black, and two hardened spikes on either side of a shovel under his giant grill mouth. And he had two microphones on either side of his head, presumably his equivalent of a pair of ears.

“Hello there, you must be Jasper,” the bigger robot stated, “Is Alphabittle in?”
“Uhh…” Was the only reply he got. First those big scary ‘Knottshurr’ monsters the week before, and now two giant destructive looking robots were at the door of the tearoom.
“We’re not gonna hurt you,” the smaller robot reassured, “We’re off duty.”
“Yes, off duty,” the other remarked, “For about 20 years at this point.”
“Yeah,” the other replied, looking at the ground, “Anyway, can we come in?”
“Uhh…” Jasper repeated, and then quickly stepped to the side, dragging the doors fully open.

“Alphabittle, hello,” The big robot called out.
“Well well well,” Alphabittle remarked, “If it isn’t Mr Psycho, back for more I presume?”
“Yes indeed,” replied Psycho (the big robot.) “And I brought Cassius Chrome along for moral support.”
“He means he brought me along to keep him from destroying things like last time.” Cassius Chrome chipped in.
“Last time!?” Jasper blurted out.
“When I was out Jasper,” Alphabittle said to him. “We had a contest between the two of us. You know how it is, sore loser coming back to take what’s rightfully his.”
“Yes speaking of which,” Psycho chimed in, “I’d like to win back my collection of nuts from last time.”
A few unicorns, and Cassius, snickered in the background.
“Oh you’re so immature!” Psycho snapped.
“So are you buddy!” Cassius laughed back.
“Ugh…” Psycho groaned. “Let’s just get started, before everything falls apart as it inevitably will.”

*MYM*

Alphabittle finished setting up the chess table. He had managed to glue the black queen’s head back on, after Psycho had decapitated it with his claw last time. He had also patched up the hole Psycho’s hammer had left after he’d thumped it out of anger.
“Jeez buddy, ya did a real number on this table,” Cassius remarked.
“Well that’s just what happens when I lose my cool,” Psycho replied. “You of all robots would know.”
“Yeah,” Cassius replied, pushing a couple of cushions around Psycho just in case his hammer flailed loosely at any point.

“Alright, you begin,” Psycho said to Alphabittle. Alphabittle surveyed the board carefully. This game could go either way. He knew he and Pscho were both really good chess players. Psycho and had the advantage of being out of service for around 20 years at this point. So he’d had a lot of time to practice. Alphabittle moved his first pawn forward.

*MYM*

The game started out in Alphabittle’s favour. He took three of Psycho’s white pawns out of the gate, leaving Mr Psycho to a bad start.
“Dont count yourself out yet,” Cassius tried supporting his metal mate.
“Yes, I’m not going to,” Psycho assured himself.
Whilst Psycho was a big machine, and his hydraulics weren’t exactly the definition of slow, he took a while thinking out every move precisely. So much so Alphabittle had time to whip up drinks in between moves. For every 5 moves Psycho made, Alphabittle passed out another drink.

“You’ve an odd way of making drinks, sir,” Psycho stated.
“I’m gonna take that as a compliment,” Alphabittle said smirking, though he was turned away from Psycho so his smirk was hidden.
“Have you played many chess games in your time?” Psycho asked.
“Oh yes,” Alphabittle remarked, “I’m kind of a little puzzle master here. Rook puts you in check.”
“You ever play video games, or just standard games?” Cassius asked.
“I’ll play any game if there’s a prize on the line.” Alphabittle replied, “Its my thing around here, ponies challenge me to games, and when they lose, I store it with the others.”
Alphabittle pointed to his collection of knickknacks other ponies had better against him, one of which was Psycho’s bag of nuts.

Psycho stared longingly at the nuts.
“I see,” Psycho stated, “Queen puts you in check. OOP!”
Psycho released all too late he’d made a mistake. Alphabittle triumphantly used his bishop to take Psycho’s queen.
“AGH! IDIOT!” Psycho yelled, and thrust his hammer to the floor. Just in time, Cassius Chrome pushed a cushion under Psycho’s hammer.
“Thank you Cassius,” Psycho said flatly.
“Anytime,” Cassius replied, happy he hadn’t been the bearer of the beat down from his massive metal friends hammer. “Do you have a menu at all Alphie?”
“Huh?” Alphabittle questioned.
“We’re robots you idiot,” Psycho told Cassius, “We don’t drink.”
“I know, I know,” Cassius reassured, “I just wanna see what you have.”
“Yeah I’ll give you a menu,” Alphabittle replied, “Long as you don’t call me that again.”
“Call you what? Alphie?” Cassius replied, with a hint of joking in his voice.
“Yes, that,” Alphabittle replied, shooting a quick glare at Cassius.

*MYM*

Minutes passed, the game’s end grew closer with every piece taken. And Cassius spent most of the time contently marvelling at the weird and wonderful delicacies served at the tearoom.
“Look at this; fried Pegasnail ala mode, perfluis pony pasta with chocolate spaghetti, Moondancer surprise with glitter! Who comes up with this sh-!?” Cassius cut himself off, just in case there were any young ponies around.
“I’m guessing your universe doesn’t exactly operate like ours?” Alphabittle quizzed.
“Put it this way, we don’t really solve every problem with a catchy song and a hug.” Psycho joked, taking the last of Alphabittle’s pawns. “Last pawn taken.”
“That’s actually hurtful,” Alphabittle stated dryly. Psycho just stared back squinting his eyes and flexing his jaw.
“Are we nearly done?” Cassius asked, pacing slightly, “I wanna see more of this village.”
“Almost, down to the last few pieces now.” Alphabittle stated.

*MYM*

Alphabittle made what he thought would be the last move..
“And checkmate, again,” Alphabittle stated proudly.
“Hmm…” Psycho examined the board carefully, before exclaiming, “AHA!”
Psycho proceeded to move his rook right next to Alphabittle’s king, taking out his bishop in the process. The king was now completely surrounded.
“Now that,” Psycho remarked proudly, “Is checkmate.” He flexed his claw and hammer, and out them around his head, and drove into the table, tipping himself over a little and displaying a big smug grin on his face, to make it look like he was leaning back in a chair. Alphabittle displayed a bit of resentment for Psycho potentially damaging his desk again.

“Alright, here’s your bag,” Alphabittle said.
Psycho grasped the nuts in his claw firmly. He drove around the tearoom, showboating and full of mirth, until he took a sudden sharp turn too quickly. The weight of the nut bag couldn’t keep Psycho balanced, and he realised all too late he was tipping over. Psycho let out a cry of anguish before toppling over.
“Can I have a hand over here please?” He asked.
“Gentlemen,” Alphabittle stated, urging towards the unicorns. On cue, the unicorns used their magic to lift the heavy Mr Psycho off the ground, and back onto his tracks. “Thank you.” Psycho said dryly. And without saying another word, Psycho made for the doors. Jasper I’m anticipation, opened them fully to let Psycho out.

“We’re not gonna a near the end of that till next week,” Cassius remarked, “‘Nice meeting you.”
“And to you,” Alphabittle remarked, and waved goodbye as Cassius quickly drove out of the tearoom after his large metal colleague.

Shunt And Dead Metal

For ‘s Shunt’s voice, see here: https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=goes+wrong+show+max&client=safari&sca_esv=74d686be67f584cb&sca_upv=1&hl=en-gb&ei=jo7PZamQBqGihbIP2cKQoAQ&ved=0ahUKEwipj9-HpbCEAxUhUUEAHVkhBEQQ4dUDCA8&uact=5&oq=goes+wrong+show+max&gs_lp=Egxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAiE2dvZXMgd3Jvbmcgc2hvdyBtYXgyBRAAGIAEMgYQABgWGB5I4RhQ4ApY6BdwAngEkAEAmAGHAaAB3QWqAQM0LjO4AQPIAQD4AQHCAgQQABhHwgIKEAAYgAQYigUYQ8ICBRAuGIAEwgINEC4YgAQYigUYQxjUAsICCxAuGIAEGIoFGJECwgILEAAYgAQYigUYkQLCAgUQIRigAcICCBAuGIAEGNQCwgIIEAAYFhgeGAriAwUSATEgQIgGAZAGCA&sclient=gws-wiz-serp#
To see Shunt’s appearance, see here: https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=robot+wars+shunt&source=lmns&bih=738&biw=1121&client=safari&hl=en-GB&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwit-97ppLCEAxXPXaQEHd9GA5kQ0pQJKAB6BAgBEAI
For ‘s Dead Metal’s voice, see here: https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=goes+wrong+shiw+dennis&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-gb&client=safari#
To see Dead Metal’s appearance, see here: https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=robot+wars+dead+metal&client=safari&sca_esv=74d686be67f584cb&sca_upv=1&bih=738&biw=1128&hl=en-GB&ei=UY7PZeG1DsnBhbIPjdGCoAM&ved=0ahUKEwihotzqpLCEAxXJYEEAHY2oADQQ4dUDCA8&uact=5&oq=robot+wars+dead+metal&gs_lp=Egxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAiFXJvYm90IHdhcnMgZGVhZCBtZXRhbDILEAAYgAQYigUYkQIyCBAAGBYYHhgKMgsQABiABBiKBRiGAzILEAAYgAQYigUYhgMyCxAAGIAEGIoFGIYDSNoYUIQOWMoXcAV4AZABAJgBtQKgAfEOqgEHMC41LjMuMbgBA8gBAPgBAcICChAAGEcY1gQYsAPCAgUQABiABMICBRAuGIAEwgIGEAAYFhgeiAYBkAYI&sclient=gws-wiz-serp

“Can I help yo-“ Jasper faltered. A pair of robots sat at the door. He still hadn’t recovered from yesterday’s fright with Psycho and Cassius, and now there were two brand new terrifying robots at the doors now. The one on the right looked like a mini bulldozer, with a shovel at the front and what looked like a diamond tipped axe hiding in its back. The other looking like a cross between a hedgehog and a crab, with huge metal pincers and a fearsome looking saw blade. Jasper barely had time to think before the bladed robot spoke up.

“Hi there,” he greeted, waving its right pincer like a hand, “Im Dead Metal, and this is Shunt. May we come in?”
“Sure…” Jasper said slowly, not wanting to make a big deal out of things like yesterday, and opened the door. If Psycho and Cassius were friendly maybe these two were cool too.

“Misty!” Dead Metal called at a high pitch.
“Over here boys!” A blue unicorn called from the other side of the tearoom. The two drove over.
“Hello Misty, how are ya?” Shunt asked as he trundled over.
“I’m fine,” Misty replied, “Alphabittle’s gone out for some more supplies, so I’m just kinda chilling.”
“As you do,” Shunt commented, backing behind Misty’s table with Dead Metal.

“About that,” Shunt inquired. “What did happen with that alicorn you were talking about?”
“Opaline?” Misty asked.
“That’s the one,” Shunt confirmed, thrusting his axe in the air like a hand.
“Yeah, she was a really corrupt villain,” Misty began. “She kidnapped me when I was a filly. At first she treated me fine, but when magic came back to equestria, she bake more and more mean and short fused as her hunger for magic grew.”
“Well, we’re all ears, entertain us,” Shunt urged, thrusting his front shovel as if to urge Misty on like a hand.

Misty spent the next five minutes recalling recent events around Equestria. She mentioned Opaline’s defeat aswell as her time spent with the fire alicorn, all the high and lows she experienced. “Yeah, it was sad I couldn’t help her,” she lamented.
“So she’s not really dead, she’s just trapped right?” Dead Metal asked.
“Funny you’re the one who asked that,” Shunt commented.
“We don’t really know,” Misty explained, “If she doesn’t have to eat I can assume she is.”
“So maybe one day you can have a go at redeeming her?” Dead Metal enquired.
“Maybe yeah,” Misty said, “But I don’t think I’d want her to be a loving mother to me. I’d rather let her do her own thing, she’d be better with other ponies she gets along better with rather than with myself.”

“Quick question, did you ever tell Alphabittle about the whole kidnapping thing?” Dead Metal inquired.
“No,” Misty replied, “What he doesn’t know can’t hurt him.”
“Well surely you’d want somebody else to know about all that?” Shunt asked.
“I have the other ponies for that,” Misty explained. “There’s Sun-“
“Wait wait, don’t tell me, I’ve memorised them,” Dead Metal claimed, putting his claws on his head trying to remember. “Uuuuuhhh… SunScout?”
“Sunny Starscout,” Misty corrected.
“Right right,” Dead Metal replied, “Uhh, Hitch right?”
“Yes Hitch.”
“Okay, and Zips and Pips?”
“Zipp and Pipp.”
“Yeah Zipp and Pipp. Also, Uhh, Izzy Moonbeam?”
“Moonbow, but yes Izzy.”
“Okay, good.” Dead Metal finished, hoping he could better memorise their names in the future if he needed to.

“Anyway, how has life been at the Brighthouse?” Shunt inquired, again.
“It’s been alright,” Misty replied. “It’s certainly better than Opaline’s dark and spooky castle.”
“The castles a tree now right?” Dead Metal asked.
“Yes it is,” Misty replied, “It opened a portal to starlight ridge.”
“Yeah, and you met the aurora unicorns there.” Shunt said.
“The auroricorns, that’s right,” Misty confirmed.

“Yeah and one of them followed you home,” Dead Metal fangirled, “Comet right? Isn’t that him over there?”
Dead Metal pointed with his right pincer across the room, extending his neck as he did, to a blue unicorn with pentagon glasses across the room.
“Yeah that’s him,” Misty replied. They hadn’t gotten Comet’s attention, but it didn’t matter.
“You know something Misty,” Dead Metal declared, “Your a real good one to be around. I mean you’re funny, kind, your mane looks beautiful, you know I really struggle to believe there’s people out there that actually hate you.”
“Huh?” Misty asked.
“It’s nothing you need to worry about,” Dead Metal replied, “Just people getting too angry over something unimportant.”
“Oh okay,” Misty said.

“Another thing,” Shunt inquired, for the third time that day. “You said Spike is king of the dragon lords. But I’ve heard this other dragon called ‘Ember’ was apparently the Lord. What’s up with that?”
“From what I heard,” Misty explained, “Spike became the dragon lord through the gauntlet of fire, but he passed the role onto Ember since he didn’t fancy doing it at the time. But after Ember died during a battle years later, Spike reassumed the throne since he felt he could then. But then of course his race were put to sleep for centuries.”
“I see,” Shunt remarked, “And how was he put to sleep?”
“Opaline,” Misty replied bluntly.
“Riiight…” Shunt finished.

“We’ll Shunt, think it’s about time we hit the road,” Dead Metal declared.
“Hmm? Oh yes, of course,” Shunt replied, “Places to go sights to see, can’t spend all of our time here.”
“I can come with you,” Misty offered, “I know my way around here. Kinda.”
“Yeah sure, you can tag along,” Dead Metal replied, “Do you know the way to ‘mane melody’?”
“Yeah it’s in maretime bay,” Misty said, “Come with me boys.”
And with that, Misty headed to the door with Dead Metal and Shunt behind her.

This was kinda stupid.

Looking back on this planned anthology, it’s kinda stupid even for me. I don’t think Robot Wars in particular meshes very well with MLP. I’m afraid the anthology is cancelled for lack of ideas. Sorry, but maybe check out my other stories instead.

The end!