Lunar Diplomacy (Or How To Threaten A Friend With Sleep)

by Soaring

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Spike, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4814

Twilight has not slept in almost a week. Luna wants to know why. She was not ready for the truth (and neither was Twilight).

Twilight has not slept in almost a week. Luna wants to know why. Twilight wants to go on another light seven mile run.

Spike just wants hot chocolate and Rarity.

Written for Jinglemas 2023, gifted to Ghost Mike based on the prompt of a non-romantic TwiLuna with recently returned resident of the moon and no-winged bookpone.

Art by Skyeypony.

Published 2023-12-27 07:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-12-27 07:40:00 UTC

Dreamweaver Helps Bookworm Sleep Comfortably

“Let’s search the sky for a while, you and I…”

Luna trotted out onto her balcony. She had been here before, from another time when she had a long night of overseeing dreams. However, this night had bothered her. Not only because the brittle cold tore into her fur, but also because it was nearing Hearth’s Warming. She had many friends since that Nightmare Night, the one that Twilight, Celestia’s student, had guided her through. And now, clearing all the misunderstandings, she was able to grow, make new friends, and even have the confidence to put herself out there. It was all due to Twilight.

So it was Luna’s turn to assist her.

It had been seven days since she had seen Twilight dream. A proper calendar week. She had thought this was due to Hearth’s Warming preparations, but she was suspicious, since Spike the Dragon had not wavered in his dreams. He was dreaming about hot chocolate, Rarity, and copious amounts of gems by a well-decorated tree. If the dragon was truly stressed about Twilight, he would be dreaming of nightmares involving her, and yet, here he was, drowning in some chocolate rain.

Twilight’s lack of dreaming had given Luna pause. It was not entirely out of the realm of possibility of Twilight gaining rest without the occurrence of dreams, but knowing Twilight’s sleep schedule drew Luna further down the path of intervention—that mare would not go without a few days worth of dreaming, her mind was hyperactive, always calculating. So what would have led Twilight to a lack of dreams? Had Celestia’s pupil grown into a chaotic schedule of sleep? Or was this forced upon her by some ailment or affliction?

No matter how this chaos had manifested, Luna knew what she must do as her duty as the Mistress of the Night, the dreamweaver incarnate. She just needed to answer one particular question that reared its head:

“How shall I do so?”

Luna peered over the balcony, sipping on an already warm brew of coffee. She basked in the evening glow as her moon had shined a gentle light over the grassy hills and forests of Canterlot. The cliffside found purchase in her moon’s sheen, and so did Luna.

Part of her wished to stay there, viewing the world around her with her coffee in her forehooves, and just to take in everything. But then she saw herself in the reflection of her brew, and she thought about what she had accomplished that night. She had been whisked away to dreamland, where everypony’s minds flirted with their own respective fantasies. Luna had made peace with an alien species with a flower mare from Ponyville in one, piloted a vessel beyond comprehension with a burly stallion in another, and witnessed a shared world of a long distance couple, whose only wish was to bask amongst the stars.

The stars in reality twinkled in response.

Luna sighed. Twilight was nowhere to be found in dreamland once again. Not once that night was there even a flicker of a dream. And while a missing dream does not mean that she had not slept, it… irked Luna. It irked Luna so much.

How shall I do so…

That thought of hers lingered like sparks of an ember. She couldn’t get the fire to light, mostly because her talent was of dreams and not burning a pony to smithereens (not that her dear sister would do such a thing, but she did have the capability). Something needed to be done, though.

But what? Should she attempt to recreate Nightmare Night and scare everypony half to death? No… that might be a counter to the holiday: Hearth’s Warming was of warmth and peace, not of heart attacks and loud screeching.

What about… if she just stopped by Twilight’s residence to assist her in her—

Luna’s face lit up like a firecracker.

“Huzzah! I know what I must do! I—oh…”

Luna tuned her voice to a whopping 2 db. An inaudible declaration soon followed, and she too, smiled.

It could wait one more night. She will visit the next evening, uninvited. She hoped Twilight would not mind. It was close to Hearth’s Warming after all!

Twilight was about to bury herself alive.

She was currently in the Golden Oaks library with several books surrounding her form. She had a quill and inkwell next to her, her magic barely holding onto both by a thread. She sighed as she dipped the first into the latter, before scribbling rather gracefully on a sheet of paper, her scratch filling the page of more of her Equestrian.

Twilight’s head tilted, her eyes bouncing from page to page. She just needed to get a few more words in here, and some there. These documents were important, and she did not want anypony seeing them yet. They were not for them to divulge in, after all. Not even her number one assistant, who she could notice right out of the corner of her eye. He was staring at her intently, his brows furrowed and his eyes squinted at what she had sprawled out.

Then, he opened his mouth:

“Twilight, are you secretly planning your own Hearth’s Warming party?”

“No,” Twilight muttered. Not that Spike had asked her that already, which he totally has done already.

“Are you sure?”

Twilight groaned, before she looked over at Spike. “What type of question is that?”

Spike blinked at her like a strobe light. “Well, I’m just trying to figure out where your stopping point should be. You’ve been up for almost five days.”

“Pfft, don’t be ridiculous, Spike,” Twilight said as she waved a hoof nonchalantly at Spike. “I’ve only been up for 112 hours so far!”

Spike’s brows glowered. “The fact that you can keep track while your face is drooping like that is beyond me.”

“Drooping? Is some of the chocolate pudding from earlier still on my face?”

He sighed. “Why do I bother…” Spike murmured, before rubbing his temples with his claws. He turned around, his intention of leaving appearing evident. “Just… promise me you’re going to go to bed soon? You need to sleep, Twilight. Nopony would want to see you cosplaying as a skeleton pony on Hearth’s Warming Day! They’ll think you forgot which holiday it was!”

Twilight tried to smile her best (her lip was twitching and she was very much aware of it). “Oh, Spike… I understand. I Pinkie promise—ack!”

Spike snapped around to see his friend nursing her eye. “What was that?”

“Sorry, poked my eye on that promise I just made—oof!”

And now Twilight was on her back, groaning as she had probably just bent a few pages of the books behind her while waving goodbye to her dignity.

“Yeah, you definitely need to get some rest, Twilight. I’ll see myself out so you won’t have anypony to bother you.”

“Wait, where are you—”

She was too late with her plea. The door slammed behind Spike, leaving her alone with her mess in the library.

“—going?”

“Over to Rarity’s!” She heard through the door. Shuffling could also be heard soon after, followed by a slight thud against the door. She could only suspect that it was him throwing the ‘Sorry, we’re closed.’ sign they had made a few months ago. She didn’t know how she didn’t see him take it with him, but it warmed her heart knowing that, despite Spike being agitated with her right now, he still cared. It… made her reconsider what she was doing at this very moment.

Maybe I could take a nap…

She sighed and got herself off the ground, being mindful of the literature spread around her. She carefully magicked the books back to whence they came, and made sure to fix the one book that she damaged all by herself. She set that one aside, leaving it in a spot that nopony would bother it.

It was remarkable for her really, a new all-time high on the sleepiness scale. Some may even call it an academy record, although which academy this record would belong to was one she could not recall.

“The Academy For Eggheads,” Rainbow Dash said in Twilight’s mind. Twilight groaned and rolled her eyes.

With a brief stretch and a quick double check of the room below (she magicked the remaining embers of a candlelight, snuffing it out), Twilight ascended the stairs and up to her loft. Her bed looked like it hadn’t been laid in in quite a while, some dust had collected on her comforter. She tried to clear the dust off, but she decided to inhale part of it by accident, her lungs begging her for mercy. She coughed and then blinked the dust away. She imagined placing some of it on Rarity’s head, probably just to see if Spike can use it as an opportunity to gain some favor… of sorts. He deserved it, after all.

She groaned. She was going to get an earful from her dear friend later, but right now, she needed to get some rest. A little nap was in order. A couple hours of quality sleep. That’ll do. Besides, she wouldn’t have to worry! She heard him throw the closed sign on the library’s front door on his way out, and if he didn’t, well, ponies would get the message by the locked door. Worst comes to shove, they’d steal from her.

They’d steal from her.

Her worst nightmare: stealing of BOOKS. Her BOOKS. Those BOOKS. The BOOKS—

She shook her head. Don’t imagine Grand Theft Bibliography, Twilight. Think of the other variables. Like sheep. It was a common way to count them, right? So she did. She thought about them as she slid right underneath the covers. She thought about how they make random noises.

One.

She thought about how they’re associated with sleep at any time of the day (because that makes complete sense!).

Two.

She thought about sheep’s fur. How it was fluffy and… fluffy.

Three.

She thought about sheep, and also about Princess Luna, who was not a sheep. She was floating right outside the window that Twilight’s bed was conveniently next to—

“Princess Luna?!”

Twilight was wide awake as she nearly fell right off her loft. She flopped out of bed, observing the now caught-red-hooved Princess Luna with a glare. It looked like Luna had noticed Twilight’s gaze, as her eyes widened and her nose now matched what Twilight imagined her hooves to be like: a red blush. It soon blossomed forth across Luna’s face.

“W-Why… hello, Twilight! We—er, I apologize for showing up unannounced, but I could not wait any longer!”

“Wait any longer for what? Does Hearth’s Warming excite you this much, Princess?”

Luna rubbed her temples. “You are mistaken. That is my sister. She is the jolly one who loves the holiday. I, on the other hoof, would prefer to be alone with the dreamworld. It is much less… decorative.” She shook her head. “But no time for a critique of the modern holidays, Twilight! I have come to seek you and rid you of the plague of the mind!”

Twilight yawned. “Plague of the mind?”

“Yes! And it seems it has dealt you its vices. It has kept you wide awake, never to seek the silk comforts of the dreamworld, but you mustn’t fret! I have come with deliverance! The solution! The cure!”

“Princess, could you stop shouting outside my window? Ponies probably think you’re trying to break in!”

Princess Luna blinked, before she flushed red. Twilight thought she heard Luna say “Oh, right,” but she couldn’t justify it as she was terrible at reading other ponies’ lips.

Before Twilight could think about brushing up on the subject, Princess Luna blinked right into the library, only a couple wing lengths away from Twilight. She stood there, grinning, looking at Twilight like she just won a lifetime supply of moonshine. The alicorn squeaked as she pulled out of thin air her present to Twilight: a little potion made of dark wisps of magic, and what Twilight could only surmise was something that wasn’t going to give her a heart attack… right?

“So is this—”

“—the cure to your ailment? Thee asketh of mine own purchaseth—ah! Because you are totally right!”

Twilight blinked owlishly at the liquid. It swished in the small bottle, the raindrop looking container making her filled with worry. “But how did you know I wasn’t sleeping well?”

“Rarely do ponies like you sleep and not dream. It is possible, but not for you, Twilight Sparkle,” Princess Luna declared. She set the potion aside on the table nearby and scooted closer to Twilight. “I… had not seen you dream in a while, as you normally dream at least four times a week.”

“Do you look at all of my dreams, Princess?”

“I… tend to take a peek just in case it's a nightmare. You know how ponies are: one day, they dream of daffodils and curing all sorts of diseases with a flick of magic, and the next, they dream of the tiniest of spiders climbing into their kitchen sink and now they can’t function without a mare like me storming into the room with a giant fly swatter in my hooves to bap them out of existence.” Princess Luna grinned and puffed her chest out. “It’s all in a night’s work, Twilight. A dreamweaver’s purpose!”

Twilight frowned. “You pretty much just summed up all of my dreams prior to all of this happening.”

“Wait, really?” Luna said with a head tilt. “I thought Noteworthy was the one who had dreamt of the spider attack!”

“No,” Twilight murmured, her head hung in shame. “That was me.”

Princess Luna giggled and wrapped a wing around the unicorn. “You know, there’s nothing to be ashamed of, Twilight. Everypony fears something. Whether that something is a spider (of any size) or their fear of walking underneath a mistletoe with their sister while everypony was watching—ahem, none of that matters, Twilight. What matters is how we choose to deal with said fear.”

Twilight weakly nuzzled into the embrace. “And you know why I’m awake?”

“That… that I am unsure of, Twilight. The lack of dreams told me you had not slept well, and I did not consult with anypony before I flew here.”

“You flew here?”

Luna wore a smug smirk on her face. “A flight can wriggle any bent feather out of an alicorn’s wings.” She emphasized this by showing a wing of hers. “Also, flying is more of an exhilarating feeling. One that I cannot seem to shake free from, not that I want to or anything.”

“Sounds like flying is fun, Princess,” Twilight observed with a slight smile.

“It is, but it is not a means to distract us from thy’s plight.” Luna narrowed her gaze, her brows furrowed, while her eyes searched Twilight’s face. “Are you willing to provide us with several reasons behind your restless nights?”

Twilight took a deep breath and twiddled with her hooves. She could tell Princess Luna what was going on, right? The books, the writing like a madpony, the 100 hour excuse—she yawned mentally at the number here—and now the result of her supposed madness?

She could do that. Why wouldn’t she?

“I… don’t know how I should start this, Princess Luna.”

“You could start by dropping our title, Twilight.”

The blush now took over Twilight's face, her cheeks alight in flame. “Sorry, Pr—Luna.”

A soft smile graced Luna’s face. She nuzzled into Twilight’s neck and pulled her closer, making her squeak. “Good. I’m glad you’re my sister’s student. She always knew how to pick the ones that learned the quickest.”

“Really?”

“Yep, although, some of them got a bit too rambunctious and bit off more than they could chew. Like the one that thought Celestia was a giant marshmallow. That heathen. Speaking of biting off more than you can chew, your giddiness has caused you to tattoo the railroad tracks of Ponyville under your eyes. Humorous but I implore you to reconsider your life choices, Twilight.”

She was talking about her bags underneath her eyes, wasn’t she? Twilight groaned. “They’re not tattoos, Luna. I’m just tired because I’m busy with… with an assignment from Princess Celestia.”

“An assignment from my sister? This late in the calendar year? Does she not have mercy?”

“It’s something that she’s been hinting at for a while. With all the friendship problems recently and with Hearth’s Warming just around the corner, I haven’t had a chance to really sit down for myself for once. But now that I’ve had the time, I caught up on everything… except the assignment.”

“Everything as in…?”

“I rearranged the library from alphabetical order to a numerical trend drafted by some pony up in Canterlot, then I read a four hundred page book called A Burning Dragon’s Tale, before going on a light seven mile run. Then I wrote an entire self-help guide that included my thoughts on A Burning Dragon’s Tale, before going on another light seven mile run—”

Luna interrupted Twilight with a slight nudge. “Uh… Twilight? Why are you running so much?”

“At first, I was wanting to get into shape so I could run with Applejack and Rainbow Dash again for the Running of the Leaves, so I was trying to incorporate it into my weekly schedule. Then, I realized that I wasn’t sleeping, so I tried to go on a run more often as a way to tire myself out. Instead… it had the opposite effect. I didn’t take note of that until just recently.”

“Oh,” Luna muttered, her muzzle forming into an ‘O’. She sighed. “So after your second light seven mile run, what else did you have to do?”

“Well, I tried cleaning the library again, but Spike was not letting me do it by myself, so we cleaned the library together, even decorating it a bit to be more festive for the holidays, but when we finished, I decided I wasn’t tired still. So I did a quick workout… followed by another quick workout.”

“What in pray tell is a quick workout?”

Twilight grinned and clopped her forehooves together. “I’m happy you asked! It’s a twelve step process in which I do sit-ups, hoof-ups, and some weird stretch routine called the femur breaker, before doing some light hops and magic-ups. Also I tried to add some more running in there, but I ended up getting bored after fourteen miles!”

“Fourteen miles?!” Luna said, her mouth agape.

“Well, I mean, we ponies can run longer than most species and I think—um… Luna? Is there something on my face?”

Princess Luna was frozen, her eyes were as wide as saucers. Did Twilight say something wrong? She was following the How To Live Vicariously Through Another Pony (And Feel Good About It) guide that she had gotten from the Canterlot Archives! This was the best way to get herself in shape, right?

“No, you can… carry on, Twilight,” Luna said lamely, catching her jaw with her forehoof. Twilight hypothesized that Luna was experiencing an existential crisis, but then she whisked that thought away like somepony drifting on a raft.

“Okay…” Twilight trailed off, before listing off what she had done, “After that, I’d do the most important thing that the book I read told me to do: make my bed. I always forget that every time, and by the time I remember to make it, Spike would always make sure it was made for me. It bothered me, because now I’d have to settle for doing yet another seven mile run as punishment!”

Luna facehooved. “Twilight, how are your legs doing?”

Twilight looked down at her hooves. They were discolored, some of her hooves were red or bruised. However, her legs… they were extremely swole, almost grotesquely swole. Her veins were popping out, and she suddenly realized that she hadn’t looked at her legs this intently before.

“Uh… I see what you mean.”

“I’d suggest you take a few days off from all that running. Besides, you could’ve just counted sheep and you would’ve fell asleep almost immediately—”

“I tried doing that but somepony decided to make an entrance.”

Princess Luna gasped. “I apologize, Twilight!” Luna pulled Twilight up onto the bed and set her down. She magicked a blanket over Twilight and sat on her bedside. “Sleep now. I shan’t disturb you any longer.”

“Are you sure you want me to sleep? ”

“Either that, or the elixir I gifted you shall be forced down your gullet—”

Twilight yelped, gripping the sheets with her hooves. “I’ll go to sleep now!”

Luna smirked. “Good… No pony shall disturb you either. I’ll make sure of it.”

“R-Really?” Twilight said, yawning again as she did so. Wow, did laying on a bed at this stage of life suddenly make a pony tired? She was already starting to feel sleep tug on her eyelids and it hadn’t even been that long!

“Of course. It’s my duty to ensure all ponies are well-rested and nightmare free!”

“Guaranteed?” Twilight whispered with a head tilt and a raised brow.

“Or your bits back,” Princess Luna said with a bow.

Twilight weakly smiled and nuzzled further into her pillow. “I’m glad, because I’m in debt to Princess Celestia right now.”

Luna patted Twilight on her head, before nuzzling her cheek. “Then consider thy debt forgiven. Good night, Twilight.”

Twilight tried to reply back to her, but her words escaped her, the pillow feeling way more comfortable than it normally did. Was this how Rainbow Dash felt when she slept on clouds? It was enticing, an experiment for future note, however, before she could propose a plan, Twilight felt herself drifting.

She started to count sheep.

One…

Two…

Luna sighed as she kept watch over the snoozing-away Twilight. The unicorn was laying there, curled up in a ball on her bed, now holding her pillow like a plushie. She had kicked back some of her blankets during the night, which Luna carefully laid them over Twilight whenever she had done this (which was several times). It humored Luna that Twilight was such a kicker. The next stallion that dares to take her hoof will need to wear guards if they dare to sleep in the same bed as her.

Luna chuckled at the thought. A fully decked out stallion prepping for a hoofball game… all for the purpose of sleeping next to a mare with the kicks. Only the best for Celestia’s student?

Twilight kicked again in response. It was like she heard Luna make fun of her. This only spurred Luna to let out another giggle-snort, before she covered her mouth, hoping she had not woken Twilight with her silliness. She peered over to see the unicorn’s eyes closed, leaving Luna to sigh.

Luna hadn’t slept that much herself. She had only taken a hour nap after she had arrived, only to be awoken by Spike, who had returned home from a Hearth’s Warming rendezvous with his beloved Rarity, who had cast him out after a vicious cloud of dust attacked her mane. The aftermath could only be described as Rarity had put a twelve hour shift on a busy construction site in Manehattan. After sharing some laughter over the whole situation, Spike mentioned that he wouldn’t mind being ‘on the lookout’ to ensure ‘nopony else would interrupt them’. Luna admired the dragon for this exact reason, no wonder he was Twilight’s number one assistant.

Thankfully, Luna also admired her own duty. Before she had taken a nap, she made sure to raise her moon, mostly because if she didn’t, her sister would break out into hives, and while it would be funny to imagine the staff scrambling to cure her sister’s affliction, Luna would not want Celestia glaring at her the next day. Speaking of time of day, what time was it now? Equestrians had not developed a clock for their hooves, and she had not wanted to hazard a guess as she was bad at guessing things. Maybe a clock hung over the door of the library? No… maybe it was by the bookcases? There were several, and she could noooot…

Her eyes found it. It was hanging there, menacingly in the corner of the room.

The hands had met in place, pointing at twelve rather happily.

It was midnight.

Twilight was still in bed, snoring rather loudly now.

Luna giggled softly to herself at the sight. “Looks like her dreams will return at last.”

Taking one last look at the snoring prodigy, Luna got up, and walked up to the balcony of the Golden Oaks Library. She opened the door quietly, letting it click softly. She looked at her stars again and smiled.

Luna was glad that she had visited Twilight.

Part of Luna was still perturbed that she had chosen this path. Mostly because she was not the type to step out of her own boundaries. There was her dream realm, where everything was in flux, so she didn’t have many boundaries to work with (other than not disclosing said dreams with names attached, and even modifying the genetic makeup of the pony she is dreamweaving into [that happened once, she was not proud]). Then there was her recent reunion with her sister, and her more important role of princesshood, and these together bore responsibility into her, burning brightly in the retinas of her eyes. So reaching out to somepony in the real world that was not of her sister? That was uncharted territory for her.

But she was glad she did it. Her debt to Twilight was now paid in full. She could not jest, the unicorn most likely did not need a debt to be paid for bringing her closer to friendship, but how could she stand by while Twilight suffered? Would she be heartless if she had done so? Maybe, but Luna wore her heart in the form of a crown. And that’s what mattered.

Luna gasped. The cold began to nip at her coat, while a generous snowflake landed gently on her muzzle. She giggled as another started to dance toward the first. And another. And another.

“I see you found the balcony, Luna.”

“Twilight?”

Luna had turned around to see Twilight walking towards her. She walked to Luna’s side and nuzzled her, smiling all the while. “It’s beautiful out, isn’t it? I… needed to thank you for your help today.”

That smile was contagious, as it warped onto Luna’s muzzle too. “T’was nothing, so reserve your thanks for another. I had done only what a friend would do for another in need.”

Twilight’s eyes darted to her own hooves, which she was now twiddling with as she spoke, “Still, thank you. I really needed that. I was starting to imagine quills were food.”

“That’s… not entirely healthy.”

“Entirely?” Twilight asked with a raised brow. “Since when are quills edible?”

Luna shook her head, dispelling more snowflakes from her mane. “I suppose it was simply an error in word choice. Regardless, you are welcome, Twilight. I am glad that you finally experienced sleep after all this time.” Luna searched Twilight’s face further. “Looks like one less sleeper on the railroad tracks.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “It’ll take a while before those are gone, Luna. I’ll need to hibernate for a few weeks!”

“That could be arranged!” Luna exclaimed happily, hopping in place. She looked over at Twilight who was not even mildly enthused, so she covered her own giddiness with a wing. “Sorry, it was only in jest.”

“Understood,” Twilight murmured before looking up at the sky Luna created. She craned her neck before sighing and slipping closer to Luna. “You know, I’m glad you came to visit.”

Luna peered down at Twilight and smiled. “I am too, Twilight. I am too. Maybe a little less restlessness next time?”

Twilight chuckled. “I’ll try, but no promises. Princess Celestia loves giving me assignments.”

“That she does,” Luna whispered as she draped her wing over Twilight's shoulder.

The two stood there, watching as the snow danced. It danced and danced and danced the night away, gracing the ponies with a white Hearth’s Warming the very next day.

"...collide like two stars, for a while, you and I…”

Author's Note

Hope you all had a great Christmas/Happy Holidays! I’m writing this author's note on Christmas day because I couldn’t get the ending finished until today. Thank you guys for all the feedback on the fics I’ve written this year, and cheers to next year! With this being said, onto the usual song selection for this fic, which is surprisingly a small list:

Loathe - Is It Really You? (first and last line of the fic btw)
Invent Animate - False Meridian
The Pale White - Medicine