Fallout Equestria: Desperados V3 (Bonds of Platinum)

Fallout: Equestria

Desperado’s V3: Bonds of Platinum

Ch 16, Politics, Part 2.

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After getting properly washed up, and dressed in my outfit from the Hilltop Boutique, I found myself in all too familiar territory, politics. Though now I was at the front, representing others, then being kept in the back, hidden away.

Arras had also gotten dressed up, but little anypony could do to make him look less ghoulish. Still, he looked a bit dashing in a suit, making me wish I could have seen him in his prime. Next to him was Rack End and Crankshaft, both in more casual, but far from stylish suits, which wasn't helped by the pistols they kept boldy on them.

Swift on the other hood did little to make himself presentable, sticking to his warrior look, though it was clear he had at least washed up. Thankfully Hollow and Lair seemed to balance out the stallion's roughness with ladylike appeal. Almost made me forget that Lair barely thought of herself as a lady, much less a mare. And flaking them were Reed and Slick, in lighter armor that wasn't going to provoke the Rangers, but still had their big guns on them.

I had Star Charter and Fizzy with me, both in far more appropriate and stylish clothing, with Star's dress being from the boutique and Fizzy using a lovely blue dress from her own stash. And if it was not for Star bringing all her weapons with her, we'd likely look like a completely different faction, and not here to kill. I myself felt a bit awkward having the Desperados vest over my dress, but I needed to represent and it was the best place to keep my revolver.

Order then beeped before asking, “Are you sure you're going to a negotiation?”

I sighed. “Yes, but due to recent history, the Desperados made sure they could stay armed at all times. Especially when dealing with the Steel Ranger. It's a trust issue I can understand.”

“Then why am I disarmed?” Order buzzed out in annoyance.

“Because your job will be to record everything, and not be viewed as a threat. Anyways, you still have your shock talismans, so you're far from disarmed.” I told Ordered.

In my E.F.S. Order showed a cartoonish version of itself sighing. “Yes my lady.”

At this point it was undeniable that Order was a fully independent AI now, something that was both exciting and concerning to me. But It was also not something to worry about today.

“Hey Harp, are you sure you don't want the others to join?” Star asked as she trotted over.

I shook my head. “Probably best to give them a break from Rack End, anyway we need ponies to check out Umberfoal for us.” Slowtrot and Live were taking a trip to the port town, taking Azure and Tire Fire with them. The main goal was to give Azure enough time to look around, as the others ask around. Also, Tire Fire really wanted to shoot the G.A.R. being used as the Smugglers turret. “We really need to know how far the Darkhearts have rooted themselves into the Warband, and if their up to anything we need to know about.”

“Right, kinda forgot about that, long night and all that.” Star said with a yawn. Her sleep cycle had gotten all over the place since we got her, partly because Lair kept her up with wanting to hang out.

“Too long, maybe just tell Lair you need your sleep.” I told Star before giving her the side eye. “And I hope you're not planning on sleeping with her?”

Star rolled her eyes back at me. “Oh please, I'm not that desperate. That said, for a mare she is my type, has that trouble feeling to her, but without all the drama.” I froze for a moment as Star winked at me playfully, “I kid, nothing of the sort is happening, I'm not even interested in any kind of relationship right now.” She then patted me on the shoulder. “Anyways, I think we're ready to go.”

“Are you sure you're ready?” I asked her.

Wiggled her flank, which fluttered her now shorter skirt, and let a peek of the leotard under that. “Oh ya, I got the girls to mend up my dress so that it's less restricted and can better hold my weapons. If shit goes down, I ain't tripping over myself.”

“And the leotard?” I pressed further.

She actually flipped the skirt up for a moment. “Because why not. And it does keep the dress from rubbing up on my fur due to my weapons.”

I politely curtsied, pulling up the dress a little. “Well let's just hope we don't find out how well you can fight in that.”

Star rolled her eyes again. “Ya ya, I understand. This ain't my first time around snooty ponies. I'd much rather just punch those ponies, but ya, unless guns are drawn, I'll be fighting with just words. Makes me miss being a hostess and getting to deck a pony who's too friendly with their hooves.”

“What, no no, you don't throw hooves as a hostess, that's bad for business. You leave that to the bouncers” Fizzy cut in.

“I was also a bouncer, along with an exotic dancer.” Star added.

Fizzy’s ears doorped. “Oh, sorry. I shouldn't have assumed.”

Laughter came from Star as she patted Fizzy on the shoulder. “Naw, you're good. Being underestimated helped me out a lot when I worked at the Ruffled Feathers. But why are you coming?”

“Elder Magnificence felt it would be best if I stayed close to Harp. If anypony starts to get heated, I can calm them down.” Fizzy answered.

“Right, that charm magic shit you got.” Star acnolaged.

“And between the two of you, we should be able to keep anypony near us from trying anything.” I told them. “That is, so long as either of you don't act on your own.” I then warned them.

“Oh, I think you have other ponies to worry about.” Lair said as she trotted over, each step was quiet and floaty. It was hard to tell if she was even trotting at all.

Looking past her, Hollow was clearly fussing with her own dress as she ordered the tributaries around. Swift just watched, a smirk on his face.

“Your sister seems excited.” I said with concern.

Lair rolled her eyes at that. “My beloved sister does love her social gatherings. Unfortunately we are only a minor branch family, so she was always just a small fish among sharks. Here she gets to be the shark, even though this isn't a ball or bankwet.”

Oh I knew exactly what she was talking about. My eldest sister, Silver Majesty, just loved tearing down lower nobles. Mother always hated that about her, and was likely why she paid Rare Pearl more attention.

“I'm sure it won't make a difference, this will take up the rest of the day. And if I know anything about politics, the real negotiation happens behind closed doors, not on the open floor.” I said with a sigh.

“I hear that. Before coming out here, the closest my family came to politics was keeping everypony drunk for the Blackhearts. An addled mind is quite easy to manipulate after all.” Lair said with a laugh. “That said, do avoid stepping on my sister's hooves. For both our sake.”

“Oh sister of mine!” Hollow called out as she trotted over. “Why are you hanging out with… them again?” Disdain dripped from her voice like she had a poisonous gland in her maw.

“Oh my beloved sister. My pomegranate brandy, with a side of bread pudding.” Liar's voice was sickly sweet, and far too feminine as she spoke to her sister. “Let's not forget who's representing the Elder here. Anyways, I was just reminding Miss Harp who holds the reins here, and why. The Goddesses do, after all, respect the strong.”

“So very true sister of mine, you always are looking ahead for us.” Hollow said a wide smile, her eyes drifting over to me. “Harp, was it? Do take care not to embarrass my husband. We have a bright future, and it being marred by ignorant nonbelievers is something I cannot abide.” With the same smile, she trotted off back to Swift.

“What does Swift even see in her?” I asked.

Lair let out a huff. “Would you believe it if I said it was her personality?”

I cocked an eyebrow. “There's no way it can be that.”

Hollow then returned to bossing around the tributaries, even a few Desperados, I even saw Reed get bossed around like he was a foal.

“Ya, I really don't see it.” I commented.

Lair shrugged. “Some stallions just really like a mare who takes charge. Though they must take care to not get cucked.”

“Cucked? Do I want to know what that word means?” I asked.

A laugh came from Lair. “Probably not my lady, but let's just say it involves a weak stallion who wallows in their weakness. But enough of that, it seems it's time we get going. I'll run interference for my sister and Swift, and make sure they don't cause too much havoc.”

“Thanks, and I'll try to smooth things over with the locals.” I told her. “Any word from your own?”

“Not yet, but my uncle had received my message. I trust that he will pull through and get my mother to reconsider her current goal. Truthfully, besides my father, he's the only pony that can get her to change her mind on anything without the threat of execution.” She told me as she began to trot away. “I'm sure by the end of the day, you'll be getting an invite from my terrible, yet beloved mother.”

“One thing at a time.” I told myself.

Trotting over to Arras, the old ghoul had just finished sharing a drink with Rack End, the two a bit red in the cheeks. “Are you sure drinking at this time is… a good idea?”

“We'll be fine, by the time any real negotiations start everypony will be good and sober.” Arras told me.

“Also, their booze is generally shit.” Rack End added. “Anyways, It's not like we're going to be the ones doing the talking.”

“And If you two do, It's my job to stop ya.” Crankshaft grumbled as he adjusted his tie, the suit he had on clearly a size too small. “Otherwise, well just hang back and let ya do your thing, Harp.”

And thank Celestia for that.

“I know, I know, it's not professional and such.” Arras said as softly as a ghoul could, likely seeing my skepticism on my face. “But truth be told, we really can't stand such stuffy events. And a political meeting is about the worst kind of stuffy you can get. Trust me, we'll not be the only ones drinking before this, and you rather have us a bit loose then annoyed. Truthfully, were only going to be there as heads to be counted, and make sure certain ponies doesn't feel snubbed.”

“Ya, I understand.” I said, remembering how my family had to go to so many events only because it was expected of us, not that we had to do anything there other than sit and smile. “I guess I'm just getting a bit jittery.”

Arras laughed as he levitated a hip flask and a shot glass. “Here, just take a bit of medicine.”

Shrugging, I let him fill the shot glass with booze, and I tossed it down my throat. It fucking burned, and caused my body to shiver. “What the… uh, fuck!”

“Pure triple A grade rocket fuel there.” Arras told me.

“Okay, but what is it?” I asked.

This time Rack End laughed. “It's literally rocket fuel. Some Desperados about a hundred years back found out that strong booze can make a good substitute for that magical shit they used during the war. Just don't drink it near any open flames, somehow it makes fire invisible. A few of the herds have also been experimenting with it in making new engines, though it's been slow going.”

That… was a terrifying thought. “Wait, you have rockets!?”

“Nothing like what the Ministries used, but ya, if need be, we can rain fire on anypony that fucks with us, or just get drunk on its fule.” Again Arras laughed.

Non-magical rockets, who knew.

My pipbuck then beeped, and a message from order popped up in my vision. “Lady Harp, it is nearly noon, the Elder council meeting will begin soon.”

“It looks like it's time.” I told the others as a bit of warmth entered my cheeks. “So let's not shoot anypony if we can help it.”

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The location was just a bit off the market road inside the Inner-city, an open place with several large and beautiful buildings. It reminded me of the pictures of the capital building of old Canterlot, before the Ministries took over. I always hated their brutal, big flat concrete style of building, but understood due to the war. But here, classic brickwork with a hint of Manhattan's heyday.

Several members of the Platinum Guard were waiting for us, directing us to the largest of the buildings. Clearly not wanting anypony to wander.

“This is an amazing place.” I said to Arras.

He shrugged. “It's also the most corrupt place in the entire region.” He said with a grin. Pointing over at one building, which was decorated with statues, and was rather busy. “That's the guild hall. If you want to run a shop in Platinum Hill, you go through them, often paying a merchant fee, trade tax, and sales tax. Likely to more than one guild if you're unlucky.” His hoof then moved to a much planer looming building, but one that had a sense of authority to it. “There is the legal office, the Platinum Guard may keep the peace, but they don't write the rules. If somepony realy wants to fuck you over, they send a donation to them.”

“And the building we are entering, is where all the most powerful ponies in the region conspire together to keep themselves in power.” Rack End added.

Arras paused for a moment, clearly thinking about what she just said, then nodded. “Basically.”

Entering the large building, the first room was very open, and decorated with paintings new and old, same for bronze statues. All of it yelling at me on how much the ponies here want everypony to know how important they are. Security was also tight, with well dressed Talons guarding doors, along with both Steel Ranger and Platinum Guard present.

“This way.” Our guide told us as she trotted to a side door, down a hallway, and then to another open room. “You can wait here, just make sure your security keeps to themselves.”

Watching the mare leave, my eyes drifted to one end of the room, where several tables were, each one with a selection of food. My stomach grumbled at the sight, but I resisted just trotting to it.

Star chuckled. “I'll go test the food for poison.” She said before trotting off.

“At least they left us something.” Arras said, sounding a bit annoyed. “Last time they just shoved us in an empty room.”

“The last time for you was over a hundred years ago, I'm sure just having a room to spare was a luxury back then.” Fullmetal said as she trotted in. “Anyways, the ponies here may be assholes, but they're not idiots. Snubbing the Desperados would only bring their legitimacy into question.”

Arras snorted at Fullmetal, clearly not a fan of her. “Didn't stop them from supporting the Rangers twelve years ago, kid.”

Fullmetal grimaced. “It was a chaotic time then, but things are getting better.”

“For you maybe, but we're still fighting the accusations your chapter started.” Rack End spat out with hatred pointed at Fullmetal.

“Now now, maybe you both should go eat, it's going to be a long day afterall.” I told Arras and Rack End, trying to defuse whatever this was.

“Oh yes! I think they even have Sparkle-Cola.” Fizzy jumped in, guiding the two angry Desperados away.

Fullmetal trotted over, letting out a long drawn out sigh. “The past always haunts you at the worst of times.”

“I guess you were a real bitch in your youth?” I asked.

The old mare nodded. “Actually, I almost helped start a war with the Desperados as a knight. Lets just say that my Elder was a heavy fundamentalist and I was really good at following orders. Elder Magnificence fortunately managed to settle things down, but by then we made sure everypony associated the Desperados with raiders. Even after we were told to stop, I continued to do it for years before being dragged back to Platinum Hill. Just doing my duty I’d say, then clog my ears with woole to any criticism.”

“Didn't think the Rangers were the kind to use propaganda?” I said in surprise.

“The Elder at the time was a historian, and a fan of the Ministry of Image. She also hated the Desperados with a passion that I still don't understand. The bitch chose to shoot herself in the over having to even explain or apologize.” Fullmetal explained. “It took me a long time to understand the damage I had done. Or how long some pony’s memories are. I think I only fully came to understand when the second Desperados Ranger war kicked off. In the end, I was just as responsible for what happened at Umberfoal as Cottage Cheese was.”

“Including your son?” I asked.

She nodded. “Mag told me she shared that memory with you.” The old mare took a deep breath, remembering the painful memory. “It's shameful that the most proud moment I felt for him was also when he chose to die. He’d had never been in that position if he wasn't chasing his mothers past, but without him there, it's likely that other Ranger chapters would have been drawn into the fighting.”

“He was a good pony.” Magnificence said as she joined us. “Misguided and a bit blind, but still a good pony. Much like yourself, Fullmetal.”

“Thankfully, with age comes wisdom.” Fullmetal said solemnly.

“Which is sadly, not true of everypony.” Mag added before turning to me. “But with youth, comes new ideas.”

“I sure hope so, because I barely know what I'm doing right now.” I told her. “Anyways, new doesn't necessarily mean good.”

Mag smiled at that. “Sad, but true.”

“History to the side, how long will we be waiting here?” I asked.

“Not long, they're just getting the stage set, and letting ponies mingle.” Fullmetal told me. “The Rangers are on the other side of the building, so no worry about any fighting until the meeting starts. Also, you should have a few more guests before hoof too.”

“Let me guess, those guests will be here to talk to you two, not us?” I questioned.

Mag nodded. “Very sharp. Unfortunately, due to the Desperados keeping out of Platinum Hill politics, most ponies here write them off. Not that they don't play political games with the Desperados, but it's more that they don't feel that it's necessary to ask them first. The Desperados may not care about politics, but it sure does care about them.”

“True for everypony.” I said with a sigh. “So anypony should I expect?”

“The mayor of course. He may be in the Rangers pocket, but he still has to pretend to be neutral. A few of the Guild masters, mainly the merchant and production guilds. Since the Desperados control the territories were we get most of our common goods, they be suicidal to piss you all off. Talon company too, but they, unlike the others, have a good relationship with the Desperados, though not a working relationship.”

That sounded a lot like the usual types. “I guess we're lucky that nopony seeks to coury favor from the Desperados. Brown nosers are… very annoying and fake.”

Both of the old mares let out an understandable sigh, with Mag then letting out a single laugh. “Still not as bad as it was during the Canterlot court, the lobbyists back then had brown nosing to an artform.”

A plate of food was then levitated in front of me by Stars pipbuck. “It's all safe, but a bit bland.”

I tried a cracker with cheese, and found Star was right. “Maybe it pairs well with a drink.”

Fullmetal took one as well, tasting it and looking less than pleased. “No, they just gave you stale crackers and cheese. Likely from the great war stockpile we keep in case of emergencies. I'd avoid anything that can properly expire, unless you want food poisoning.”

Star shrugged and ate a little cake on the plate.

Looking over at the food table, the Desperados had barely touched it, with most of them having brought their own food and drinks. Rack End had also prevented Fizzy from eating or drinking, getting a few Desperados to share their own stash with her.

“Is this… normal?” I asked.

“Since the last war.” Mag said. “Crystal Clear was like a bridge between the Desperados and Platinum Hill. She placed a lot of trust in us, and received it in return. Her housing all those stray Steel Rangers in Umberfoal, was also a sign of trust she was offering.”

“And they repaid her hospitality with death.” Fullmetal huffed. “Even if Platinum Hill chooses to be blind to that fact, the rest of Equestria hasn't. The whole war caused even more chapters to go, Applejack Ranger, and a few regions to rethink their relationship with the Steel Rangers. It's why there are so many Rangers here, as there's no place for them to go that isn't hostile in some way.”

“Which is the real same.” Mayor Morning Mist spoke as he entered, along with an autarage of ponies that screamed politicians and business ponies. “To have but a few rouges ruin the reputation of the Steel Rangers. After all the good they have done for the wasteland, to be demonized in such a way.”

Thankfully none of the Desperados felt a need to snark. Actually, they were very quiet as they watched me closely. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, knowing that depending on what I say next, it could change how my new family thought of me.

“Well, opinions of the public are easily swayed by the truth… just as they are by lies, isn't that right Elder Fullmetal.” It was a dick move, but the elder was a tough mare.

“Unfortunately it's true.” Fullmetal replied, not looking hut by my deflection onto her. “The events of Umberfoal and their aftermath are left at the hooves of the Steel Rangers. Something we cannot say the same for the Desperados who leveled the town in their vengeance.”

The mayor raised an eyebrow. “So… the chem fiends and cannibals didn't exist?”

“Mainly internal issues.” I loudly stated. “The Desperados take care of our own, even if it means purging them. And last I heard, when was the last time the Desperados started a war, or endangered this city. From my own knowledge, we have kept to ourselves mostly, so mind your accusations.”

Mayor Morning Mist was a bit taken aback, but quickly regained his composure. “Right, that is… true. But that still doesn't change the fact over all the trouble the Desperados have been causing lately.”

“Good mayor, why do you think Arras is here in the first place?” I asked the portly stallion. “Yes, Swift's warband is a young and rowdy bunch. Maybe too rowdy for my own tastes. But they needed, not here, but elsewhere, and so they will be coming with us to the west. If this is your main problem, then all you need to do is wait, and it will solve itself without you wasting everyone's time.”

That shut him up.

But not the ponies behind him.

“You're a fairly eloquent and well dressed mare for a, Desperado. May I ask who and where you are from?” A fairly thin and tall stallion asked. “I'm Abacus, guildmaster of the outer-city merchants. And this well fed fool-”

“I can talk for myself Abacus!” A much shorter and rounder stallone spoke up. “Names Piggy Bank, Guildmaster of the Inner-city merchants.”

Merchant politicians, probably both the best and worst politicians anypony could deal with.

I curtsied at them, applying just the right bow to show respect, but not place myself lower than them. “Harp Melody, of the Desperados, leader of the Redcaps, and my home of origin is the Marewaii Islands to the far west and over the Luna ocean.”

Piggy Bank scrunched up his nose. “Marewaii Islands you say. Up until recently we had thought it but legend, something of the old world lost forever. Must have been quite the journey to get here, with the issue of those sea raiders roaming about.”

“Oh yes, I know all about them. Though my appearance in Equestria was more magical than nautical.” I explained as vaguely as possible.

“Then you must be most fortunate, the stories we hear from those who sail have been… not for polite company.” Abacus said as his eyes scanned the room. “Pray tell, how did you end up with this group of… ruffians.”

And here was the main question.

So I took a deep breath. “It's a rather long story I'm afraid, but let's just say Arras was a close friend of an ancestor of mine, and accepted me as though I was a long lost member of his family. Being so far from home, you can imagine how such a gesture can mean to a pony. Anyway, though as rough as they are, the Desperados do have their own culture and charm. I'm sure one day, their beautiful tapestries will hang in museums, telling a story of how life in the wasteland once was. Truth be told, I'm surprised you ponies haven't made commissions of them. Imagine having a portrait of your beloved, but as a tapestry you can take wherever you go.”

Interest flashed in their eyes, but before this train of thought could continue, mayor Morning Mist decided to derail it. “As lovely of a thought as that might be, we are not here to talk about art. Even if it's of the more unsophisticated kind. But about the conduct of the Desperados.”

Abacus cleared his throat. “Morning Mist, that isn't why we're here, not yet at least.”

“Yes, we needed to talk to Lady Magnificence.” Piggy Bank spoke up. “The shipments of perfume have yet to be delivered, and there are quite a few ponies growing less patients.”

Eyes turned to Mag, who just smiled. “Oh, of course, how did I forget? They'll be ready by tomorrow, just send the guild representatives over to pick up your crates.”

Both guild masters gave a polight, but annoyed smile.

“That we will do.” Abacus told her. “Now that our business has concluded, it's best if we return to our waiting room.”

I smirked. “Are you sure, we do have plenty of snacks here. Maybe take a bottle of wine back with you.”

Piggy Bank laughed. “Oh, that's a splendid idea. The other guild masters are quite the drinkers and eaters, so it's always a struggle to get to good choices with them around.”

Panic flashed on the mayor's face, and he quickly moved to block Piggy Bank. “Sir Guildmaster, maybe best if we don't take from the Desperados, it is bad form after all. How about I take you to my office, where I keep my own top shelf drinks and eats. Both of you.”

Mayor Morning Mist quickly ushered the two Guildmasters out, who both winked at me as they left.

Fullmetal let out a whistle in surprise. “I think you just made some friends in high places.”

I myself let out a long sigh. “It's an old trick I learned from one of my sisters. Though there is no such thing as a free lunch, merchants do appreciate it if you can offer them one at a discount.”

Magnificence began to laugh, taking a moment to settle down. “Majesty used to say the same thing. Getting one politician to pay for the booze of another just to save face, it does help to endear yourself to even the most stubborn mules. Actually, though I might be mistaken, it was also a favorite trick of Celestia, though I think she did it out of boredom then as a way to forge connections.”

“It's also a favorite trick of the Talons.” A griffin in a sharply dressed suite spoke as he trotted over. “Though it's rare for us to do it to politicians.”

“Garith!” Swift bellowed as he trotted over, hoof bumping the Griffin. “So your back, that's excellent news!”

“My company's contact had reached its conclusion, so we've returned to find another wealthy patron in need of guns and claws. Unfortunately we got ourselves wrapped up in the local politics as you can see.” Garith explained. “Speaking of which, who's the new hen, she doesn't look like a Desperado.”

“I'd watch your tone!” Star told the Talon. “No, she may not be a fighter, but she's plenty dangerous. Not to mention good at making friends.”

Swift rolled his eyes. “Likely friends with other soft ponies.”

Star smiled wide, showing off her extra, almost shark-like fangs. “True, but that's only some of them.” She then tossed her SMG to the griffin. “take a look, it's an original.”

Catching the beautifully designed Griffinstone Typewriter, Garith examined it closely, his eyes going wide. “This engraving, it's certainly Gunrunners make… wait, this was made by Hardballer himself, how the fuck did you get this? Guns like this cost an arm and a leg, littraly.”

“Hardballer was a close friend, and like a father in a way.” Star said, a hint of sorrow in her voice. “Before joining up with the Desperados, we had a close relationship with the Gunrunners.”

Garith tossed the SMG back to Star. “Was, did something happen to the old buzzard?”

Star nodded. “Let's just say somepony couldn't let the past go.”

Garith looked down at Star, understanding in his eyes. “A sadly all too common fate for most Talons.” He then drew out a large and rather nice looking revolver. “Got this one from Horus, Hardballer's brother. It's a .44 magnum, and has never failed me when I needed it the most.”

“Horus, now that takes me back. Have you met his wife, a real crazy mare, but also really cool looking with her eyepatch and such.” Star practically gushed.

“Ya, I know her, not a pony you want to get into a fight with. It's like fighting a yao guai.” Garith said with similar energy.

Swift looked at me and let out a huff. “They're not going to shut up any time soon, are they?”

“Does he have a kid?” I asked.

“A few.” Swift said in an annoyed tone.

I let out a sigh. “Then no, they only just started.”

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