Pinkie & Eric's Bonding Jungle Tripby ThePinkedWonderChaptersChapter 1: A excursion all alone with Energy IncarnateChapter 2: Are we there yet? (Bear!)Chapter 3: Filling a big, sad, dumb holeChapter 1: A excursion all alone with Energy IncarnateWelp, chalk up attempt #10 at replicating my mom’s lasagna as another bust. What was I screwing up on?! Too much or too little cheese? Not the right kind of cheese? Did I chop up the wrong kind of parsley or oregano leaves? Maybe there wasn’t supposed to be any parsley at all? Sure, I had never tried to bake lasagna till attempt #1 a couple of weeks ago. Then again, even if I wasn’t a rookie lasagna baker, Mom always kept part of her lasagna recipe a secret, so there would be no choice but to pitch blind on some ingredients. The aroma of attempt #10's freshly baked, molten cheese, mixed with tomato sauce, did hug the ‘ol taste buds and nose with a "B" grade. However, it wasn’t Mom’s lasagna sitting on the kitchen table. Not even close. On the bright side, attempt #10 was a lot better than attempt #2. How bad was #2? Let’s just say Starlight had a good laugh watching me break personal records running to the toilet. “Hiya!!” “Whoa!” I jumped almost half a foot in the air. My heart needed a moment to stop screaming. I swung around and two big, blue eyes met me. Yep, they were Pinkie Pie’s eyes. If you’re wondering how we could literally see eyes-to-eyes, adult Equestrian ponies are – somewhat surprisingly – roughly my height, so there you go. Anyway, I gently pushed Pinkie back a little and yelled, “Pinkie! I told you to never do that again!” “You did?” “Yeah! It was after your ‘surprise friendly greeting’ two weeks ago when I got off work from the Ponyville Spa.” “Oh, that, but you told me to never shout ‘Hi!’ behind you when you’re leaving the Spa. You never said I couldn’t shout ‘Hiya!’ behind you when you’re cooking in Twilight’s kitchen.” “But…I…you…” I hate it when Pinkie throws in a technicality to shut me down. “Fine, then promise to never shout any kind of greeting to me if you're right behind me. Calling out to me in your regular voice would be fine, though.” “Okay, I promise.” Pinkie hopped to my newest lasagna AKA attempt #10. “Ooh, this smells good! I didn’t know you cooked lasagna.” “I’m trying to recreate my mom’s lasagna, but I only know more or less half of her recipe. This one is the best yet, yet it’s still nowhere good enough.” Pinkie cut a piece of lasagna and swallowed it in one, big bite. It was meatless, so she had no qualms about wolfing down a piece. “Even so, this is pretty tasty. You even made it by yourself without a full recipe to go by, right? It reminds me of when I baked my first-ever cake with no recipe.” “Maybe. You can have some more of it later, but my mom’s lasagna would blow this out of the water.” I blew a long, heavy sigh. My fists tightened. Equestria has done well as my new home, but sometimes it doesn’t feel quite like home. Being the only one of my species here sure didn’t help the “home” factor. “Man, Pinkie, I miss her cooking. Even if Twilight could figure out how to send me back to my old world safely, well…let’s just say I still wouldn’t be able to eat my mom’s lasagna again. One way or another, I’d be missing her cooking and her anyway.” Pinkie gently laid a kind hoof on my back. “Aw, Eric, please don’t feel–wait, I have an idea. I’ve heard of a spice that is said to make any kind of meal tastier. If you had some, it might turn your lasagna into more like your mom’s if hers really is that good.” My fists loosened from their tight, hope-losing ball. Yes. Hope was alive! “I’ll give anything a shot for even a chance to finally eat lasagna comparable to Mom’s again. What is this spice called?" “I don’t remember what it’s called, but you can’t buy it from stores.” “Why not?” “Its taste is also said to only last up to three days after the fruit it comes from is plucked. Not only that, the fruit is extremely rare, just like one of Maud’s favorite rocks. You have no idea how long it took me to find one of those rocks for her birthday four–” I slapped my hand over Pinkie’s mouth, or else she might have kept yapping for a while. She does that. ”Uh, you can tell me your rock hunt later. Go back to that spice.” Pinkie pointed to her mouth. Right–my hand was still clamped over it. “Sorry.” I yanked my hand from her mouth. “Okay, let’s try this again. If I can’t nab that spice or its fruit, why did you even tell me about it?” “Because I know where it’s supposed to grow, so I could go get it for you. If it’s out there, I will find it, or my name’s not Pinkamena Diane Pie.” “Interesting. That’s a Grand Slam-level game-changer, Pinkamena Diane Pie.” I picked up my lasagna and set it in the refrigerator. Spike enjoyed even attempt #2, so he’d definitely want to chow down on attempt #10. “Still, you don’t have to fetch it for me. I’ll track it down myself.” The corners of her lips sagged. “Uh…sorry, but I can’t let you look for it alone.” “Why not? All you have to tell me is where it is and how it looks.” “But its fruit is said to grow reallllly deep in a huuuuge jungle, and could take hours to find one, if not a whole day. I know how to get through it by myself, but you could get lost forever.” “But–” She groaned and stared sternly at me. Her feel of her eyes shook me up a bit. The usually airheaded Pinkie Pie entered serious mode, which always stole my full attention on the spot. “Eric, listen to me. You have been my friend ever since we met, and I don’t want to see you sad. So, let me find that fruit for you and your lasagna.” A vastly more fitting - for her – giggle eeked from her mouth as she patted my head. “Haven’t you learned helping friends is what friends do, Silly-Eric? Or should I make you a student in my next class?” She ended with a friendly, playful wink. “Heh, didn’t expect to hear a friendship speech from you today, Teach.” I “blooped” her muzzle. As she always did when she got “blooped”, she giggled. “I’ll pass on being student for a day, but I’ll tell you what: instead of one of us going alone, we could fruit-hunt together.” “Works for me! Whee!” The pink one grinned and did her signature, admittedly adorable, hopping. Upbeat music suddenly started playing. Whenever music played out of nowhere, it only meant one thing: a song was coming on! "♪ It’s just you and me. We’re going to a jungle, we’re going to a jun– ♪“ She stopped hopping. Her song must have been canceled; the music died. “Wait, I’ll sing a make-up song later. I just remembered that we’ve never gone on a trip with just us before!” “Oh…right. I would be all alone in a jungle with you for hours, if not the whole day. Uh…maybe we should ask the gang or at least Twi to tag along with us. Uh, for safety purposes.” “Nah, we can handle that jungle on our own. Besides, this can be our Pinkie & Eric bonding jungle trip! It’ll be fun, fun, fun, and fun!” “Fun, fun, fun, and fun” she said. Now, Pinkie is (most of the time) a lovable and fun pony but just…excitable. She’s not the Element of Laughter for nothing. Still, being stuck alone with Energy Incarnate for too long could be sanity-risking. “Yeah, fun, so we’ll go it alone. When do you want to head out?” “Why not now?” Pinkie pushed me from behind with her muzzle toward the kitchen doorway. “Let’s go! Let’s go!” “Wait, right now? It’s dangerous to travel through jungles at night, especially by ourselves!” She halted her pushing. Guess that goofball forgot it was early evening, not early morning. “Oh, hehe, right. Then how about tomorrow morning? You’re off work from the Spa tomorrow, right?” “I am off, but tomorrow’s out too. The Princess of Teaching wouldn’t appreciate her laughter teacher or ‘bridge to pony society’ going jungle-trekking on such short notice.” “Oh. Saturday morning then? Our school would be closed and Saturday’s another of your days off from the Spa.” “Now Saturday morning sounds like a plan. We just gotta be out of that jungle before Celestia lowers the sun, fruit or no fruit.” “We will, so starting Saturday morning, our Pinkie & Eric bonding jungle trip will begin! Whee!” Pinkie wrapped a foreleg around me. “Come on, say ‘Whee!’ with me too!” her smile snuck into a sly one. “You know you want to...” “Heh heh, why not? It beats you trying to get me to sing.” I started a countdown with my fingers. “3, 2, 1…” “WHEE!!” The plan was set. Three days later, on a Saturday morning, Pinkie and I departed Ponyville for our mystery dung–I mean, mystery jungle excursion. We both carried backpacks stuffed with food, bottles of water, and some outdoor survival supplies. Last but not least, as I normally did anyway, I wore my hat with designs of the gang's Cutie Mark on it, as well as carrying a green geode hanging from a necklace Sunset had given me. In a way, they were all coming along with us. Even if Pinkie curbed her “Pinkieness” – a big “if” as is – taking a trip deep into a jungle set this day up to be a long one. Ugh. Our mystery jungle excursion was gearing up to be even tougher than expected. My feet weren’t just sore; they were pounding! Energy Incarnate and I had been treading through this jungle barely fifteen minutes, yet sweat was already gathering on my forehead like an uninvited guest. Figures the air in a tropical-ish jungle would be heavy and moist, but not this constricting! It wasn't all bad though. The view was pretty sweet; the sun punched pockets of light through the “sky” of towering treetops and their long, snake-y vines – some vines swayed side to side. Bushes, some of which bloomed flowers, joined the trees as junglemates. The crunches of brown leaves underfoot/underhoof were oddly cathartic. Of course, the view or leaves didn’t negate the swarming, bullying heat in the muggy air trying to suffocate me! The weight from my backpack pushing down on my back turned this trip from normal mode into hard mode. And not the fun kind of hard mode. I hoped I wouldn't need it, but a pink-glowing baseball bat stuck out of my backpack, which Twilight had infused with a bit of her magic. Thanks to its partnership with alicorn-brand magic, this bad boy packs a far harder wallop than a normal bat. As for Pinkie, despite her natural pink coat, she still seemed unaffected by jungle hard mode. She was hopping along with as much energy as ever while somehow balancing a backpack on her back despite her hops. In fact, ever since we reached the jungle, she evolved from “merely” being talkative to yapping non-stop! “...there is more thick grass growing by that blue bush. Ooh, the tree behind us has a squirrel couple standing on a branch. And there’s–” “Okay, Pinkie, I get it! I know I’ve never been in jungles before, but I’m not a little foal who’s clueless about them! Just focus more on leading us to our target fruit and less on being my jungle teacher.” “Okie-dokie-lokie!” “Oh, and can I see the book from earlier? I want to check pictures of that fruit again.” “Sure-kie lokie!” Pinkie stopped hopping and reached into her backpack. She pulled out her fruit book and showed a page holding pictures of a red, slender, slick fruit growing on a particularly thick green bush. Another picture on the same page had it dangling from a stalk off a tree branch. Apparently, it can grow from a type of bush and tree. “I’m good. You can put it back now.” I wiped my sweat-ridden forehead. The strain from my backpack and the thick, muggy air’s attack drilled through my dwindling energy reserves. It was too early in the hunt for it to happen already, but my increasingly sore muscles and feet crept closer to tapping. Welp, it happened. It took forty minutes, give or take, but the bite from the jungle’s thick air and heat, the weight from my backpack, and the burning of my feet from non-stop walking forced a tap out. My dry, cracking lips sure assisted in the shameless taps. Going by how Pinkie was still hopping, she was nowhere close to tapping, but she would just have to let me submit. A tree we were about to pass under looked like a nice spot for a break, so I sat down under it. I slid my backpack off and lay back against the tree. Its rough bark wasn't the most comfortable thing to lay your back against, but the relief from just being off my feet alone paid any deficits. Man, sitting had rarely felt so good! “Eric?” Pinkie stopped her bouncing and stared down at me. “What are you doing?” “I’m resting. What else?” I pulled out a bottle of water from my pack and gulped some down. It washing down my desert of a throat felt like heaven on steroids. “But we haven’t been here for an hour yet! I thought humans could walk for at least an hour or two on hoof–uh, foot. I guess Starlight was right when she called you lazy.” I growled and pointed a finger at her. “Okay, she only meant how I’m slow to get out of bed and…fine, my room is messy a lot. But I’m not being lazy this time; we also walked for over an hour after we got off the train, so we’ve been on the go for nearly two hours straight.” I swatted my forehead free of sweat again. “You could outlast even the fittest humans, let alone a normal one like me.” “Hehe, you have a point,” Pinkie said with her usual smile returning. “Sorry if I was a big meanie just now. We still have a long way to go, but you can re–wait, I know!” She lowered herself halfway to the ground. “You can ride on my back. That way, you can rest up while I get us closer to where the fruit is said to be. You can just hold our backpacks in front of you while you ride.” “You don’t mind?” “Nope! My back is your back! Ooh, you said some ponies in your world sometimes carry humans on their backs, right?” A smirk curled on Pinkie's lips. “In case you forgot, I am a pony, so...” “Heh heh, I accept. You make a strong argument.” I stuffed my water bottle back in my backpack. “Still I don't want to take advantage of you, so I’ll ride for ten minutes tops. That should be long enough to recharge my batteries.” “Then hop on the Pinkie Pie Express!” She put her forehooves to both sides of her mouth and cheered, “Choo choo!” Okay, that was cute as all gets out. Some of Pinkie’s playful antics are stinking adorable. After I pushed myself to my still-aching feet, I climbed on the "Pinkie Pie Express." I positioned the Element of Adorableness’s and my backpacks in front of me. Heh, shouldn’t be too surprised because she was Pinkie, but her back was soft, tender, almost pillow-like. Hold on–I nearly forgot something important! “Wait, before you stand fully up, make sure to not hop while I’m on your back. I don’t want to fly off you and break my back. Deal?” “Deal! I won’t hop while you’re my passenger.” She stood up to her full height. “Now, let’s go, cowpony–I mean, cowcolt–uh, that is–” “It’s ‘cowboy’.” “‘Cowboy’ was gonna be my next guess! Okay, let me try this again. Let’s go, cowboy!” True to her word, Pinkie walked, not hopped along, with leaves crunching under her hooves with each step. I could get used to the soothing crunching of leaves. As well as riding her. However, a question flashed in my noggin. Crushing dread enveloped my chest. It was nuts how the question didn’t flash sooner, though I was kinda scared to ask. “Uh, Pinkie? Quick question: are there any cragadiles in this jungle?” “No, I don’t think there are cragadiles around.” My heart and chest knocked that crushing dread out of the park! Metaphorically of course. “Whew! I was almost worried!” “There may be just one somewhere.” “What?!” I shouted. No! Even a single cragadile anywhere close is too many for me! That previous dread rushed back into the park and had a baby packed with paranoia, forcing shakes from my hands. “I should have asked you before we left Ponyville!” “Why?” “You forgot that ever since one almost had Sunset and me for dinner, I’ve been terrified of them?” She stopped walking. “Ohh…right. You did say you became scared of them and won't go into the Everfree Forest anymore. Well, we probably won’t run into it, but we can go back to Ponyville if you’re scared. Or, since I’m not scared, just let me find that fruit for you on my own.” Man. Oh man, was I dying to turn tail! But, the chance of eating lasagna like my mom’s again was too good to pass up. Sure wasn’t gonna let Pinkie go it alone. “No, I can’t chicken out or leave you by yourself out here. Fluttershy faced her fears when she was terrified, so I’ll…*gulp*...try to follow her example.” “You sure?” “I’m sure.” “Okay. But if we do see a cragadile, I’ll have us out of here faster than you can say ‘Okie-dokie-lokie-pokie-bokie-cookie!’” “Uh, yeah, whatever you said last, and thanks. Let’s keep going.” With that, Pinkie and I continued our hunt while, for the moment, I rode on Pinkie’s back. ‘Be brave like Fluttershy. Be brave like Fluttershy.’ The good news: since the jungle was huge, we might not run into that beast. The bad news: a storm of anxiety still freed butterflies into my belly. For some reason, it felt like cragadiles might not be the thing I would be most worried about. Author's Note Odd feeling Eric had. Do you have any guesses on what he might be sensing could be in store for him and Energy Incarnate? Chapter 2: Are we there yet? (Bear!)Four hours. Felt like Pinkie and I had slogged through this jungle the whole day, not just four lousy hours. It seemed my body was becoming a little used to its muggy air, so it didn’t squeeze so much now. It just felt hot. If that wasn’t enough, it was getting b-o-r-i-n-g boring! Leaf-crunching under feet/hooves had lost its charm and catharsis factor. Not surprisingly, Energy Incarnate was still as energetic and cheerful as ever. I wasn't aboard the “Pinkie Pie Express” so she was back to doing her signature hopping, humming under her breath, as she led us to our target fruit. “Ugh. Pinkie, I already know the answer, but are we there yet?” “Not yet! Why did you ask if you already know, Silly Eric?” “Because I’m that bored. I didn’t think I’d want it so much by this point, but do something ‘Pinkie Pie’.” She halted her hopping and turned back to me. “Uh, what?” “Pie us in the face, give me jungle lessons, sing, anything to liven things up. In fact, if you sing, I’ll sing with you in a duet.” Pinkie’s eyes sparkled. She sucked in a deep, and I mean deep inhale, followed by her lips curling into one of the biggest grins ever. “You mean it?! You want to sing?!” Did I actually say “I’ll sing” out loud? Oops! “No, no, that wasn’t–” “Hit it, strange unseen music player! He’s finally ready to sing!” *upbeat music plays* “No, I’m not! No, I’m not! I don’t want to sing! It was a joke!” “♪ No, you can’t take it back! It’s time for you to sing! ♪” I took a page out of something I had used on Twilight a few times. I laid into Pinkie with my best “puppy dog” eyes. “Big sis” Twilight always caved, sometimes hard, when I gave her those eyes–karma for the many times she roped me into begrudgingly doing something with her impossible-to-say-no-to adorable/adorkable smiles and faces. Maybe Pinkie would respond the same way; like Twi, she is a mare who’s older than me. “♪ Eric, no, don’t look at me like that! You are going to sing, sing, sing! ♪” Cue pouring on the puppy-dog eyes tactic further. The Pink One let loose one of the poutiest groans of all time. “Fiiiiine.” *Upbeat music ends* Heh, the batting average for the ‘ol puppy dog eyes tactic remained 1.000. AKA perfect. “But I am going to hear you sing someday. Just you wait!” “Not likely, and if you do, your ears will learn too late why my lips should never sing. At any rate, this heat is starting to wear me down again. Are there any caves in this jungle or some place that’s cooler nearby?” As was common with thinking ponies, Pinkie rolled her eyes upward. “Hmm…yep, there’s a cave about twenty or so minutes away.” “Twenty minutes? That’s not too long a walk, so can we go there for a while?” “Fine by me!” she exclaimed with her typical smile returning. Safe to say she was over being cheated out of hearing me try to sing. “We can use them as a shortcut to the part of the jungle with the fruit we’re looking for anyway.” “Wait, if it would be a shortcut, then why didn’t you lead us there on your own?” “You didn’t ask me to, Silly Eric,” Pinkie answered in a lighthearted yet sorta matter-of-fact tone. “But how…” I facepalmed. No time to get too annoyed over how she didn’t choose to take us on that shortcut from the start. “Nevermind. Just lead us to the cave. If you know of more shortcuts, leave me to them, even if I don’t ask.” “Okie-dokie! Follow me! We’re going cave walking!” “Are we there yet?” Pinkie asked “No.” “Are we there yet?” “No.” “Are we there yet?” “No.” Yes, you are hearing right. Pinkie is asking “Are we there yet?” as part of a half-game/half-joke she cooked up to keep boredom at bay. To be fair, it worked for the first five or so minutes. But those five minutes had been up for at least ten minutes. “Are we there yet?” “No.” “Are we there yet?” “No.” “We’re here now!” “No–I mean, we are?” I smacked my head to knock myself back out of auto-answer mode. Indeed, the inviting entrance of a cave, digging into a mountain, lay before us. “Yep! Let’s go in! I can already hear your soon-to-be fruit calling for us!” Oh yeah, that hit the spot. Compared to the humid jungle air, the cooler, freer air in this cave…I couldn’t even think of a fitting analogy! The only downside was that the cheery overhead view of treetops with dots of blue sky was swapped with a view of the dim and rough brown ceiling of a mountain cave. The stalactites growing down from the ceiling added some variety to the scenery though. “It feels g-r-e-a-t in here! How long will we have to travel down here?” “About an hour, I think. But once we’re out, we shouldn’t be too far from where the fruit is said to grow.” With Pinkie hopping in front, she and I made our way through the cave’s winding tunnels. Funny–the earlier leaf-crunching was soothing, but after becoming used to it, the lack of leaf-crunching in this cave became the new catharsis factor. “Are we there yet?” “No.” “Are we there yet?” “No.” “Are we there yet?” “No.” “Are we–” Pinkie’s mane flapped side to side four times. Weird, unless it was her Pinkie Sense going off. “Uh-oh.” Pinkie stepped backward to stand beside me. Somehow, it felt like it was almost out of protection. “Eric, we’re in trouble.” “Why? What do mane flaps mean in Pinkie Sense language?” “It means ‘a bear is stalking us’.” “Wh–” *Roar!* Pinkie and I spun around. A colossal, hairy bear stood behind us! Did its teeth and claws look razor-sharp or what?! How did that thing get so close or trail us without one of us hearing it?! It must have been sleeping or whatnot in one of the tunnels we didn’t pick when we had two or more options to choose from. I tried to force my feet to run, but they might have well been weighted down by cement shoes due to paralyzing, heart-gripping fright. The hairy beast lunged, but that pesky fear shut down my whole body! Couldn’t even open my mouth to scream. A shove on my side forced me off my feet and smack onto the ground. *Scream!* My eyes widened. I looked at where that scream came from. That bear was pinning down Pinkie! *Roar!* “Ahh! Help!” No. No bear tries to hurt or eat Pinkie Diane Pie if I can help it. Adrenaline gave fear a pink slip and became the new boss. Its first demand: grit my teeth. Second demand: reach into my backpack and yank out my alicorn-brand baseball bat. It was Bear Season. “Hey! Get off her!” I whacked that bear with my bat, and threw in two more whacks for good measure. It lifted its paws off Pinkie and reared up to face me, or rather to look down at me; it had a good two-head height difference. It snarled and held firm, holding its ground I suppose. Good. It would make 'ol hairy an easier target for batting practice. “Eric, get out of here! I take back my scream for help! I don’t want to see you get hurt!” “Pinkie, I’m not gonna get hurt.” I pointed my bat at big, tall, and hairy. “That’s the job of the ugly bear with a death wish.” Preemptive strike! I dashed to the bear and went to town with one smash from my bat to another while unleashing battle shouts. The assault could not let up or else I’d risk eating a counterattack. It roared with each hit, but as my batting practice raged on, they started becoming more and more like whimpers. A shot in its chest, and it fell to one knee. Yeah, as if begging would save it. “You like that?! Try this on for size!” I wound up and ordered all of the strength I could call for duty. My hands’ grip on my bat tightened. “Batter up!” I swung for the fences, as in I smacked that bear with the strength of two Erics! Ooo, that felt and sounded delicious! Ugly went flying through the air and landed with a big ‘ol thud. I made a beeline to where it lay – my new punching bag wasn’t getting off so easy for even daring to hurt Pinkie – but it hopped to its feet and fled down a tunnel. I was so tempted to give chase and continue the no-holds-barred beatdown, but my brain gave my rage the order to stand down. Had to catch my breath anyway. “Yeah, you…*pant*...better run, ugly! Lay a paw on my friend again…*pant*...and I’ll make you into a fur coat!” After a few more seconds, the not-so-scary bear dripped out of view. I turned to Pinkie and asked, “Pinkie, are you–” A pink blur rushed into me. Forelegs clamped down on my back and squeezed. Tightly. Crushingly even! “Thank you thank you thank you, Eric! You saved my life! If it wouldn’t be weird for you, I would kiss you right now!” “Ow, how about less hugging too? You’re gonna snap me in half!” Equestria’s strongest forelegs released their iron grip and I dropped to my knees. Yep, Pinkie – and ponies in general, especially earth ponies – is a lot stronger than she looks! “Oops, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hug you that tightly.” “Considering what almost happened to you, this is preferable.” I pushed myself to my feet and slid my bat back into my backpack. “But thank you for pushing me out of the way of Mr. Ugly when it tried to jump me, and we both can thank Twilight for making my bat have so much hitting power. My normal bat might not have been strong enough to own that bear, but you saw what I just did to it with my magic-powered one.” “Yeah, you were amazing! I’ve never seen you like that before! You were a real badflank! Hehe.” “Badflank” is close enough, I suppose. “Heh heh, what can I say? When we have our acts together and mean business, humans are warriors. Trying to hurt my friends is a way to wake up my warrior spirit.” I picked up my hat, which had fallen off my head when Pinkie shoved me out of bear-range earlier, stared toward a nearby tunnel, and yelled, “You hear that, bears?! If anybear nearby wants some, come out and get some! That first coward was barely a warm-up! I want a real bear of a fight!” A new, big hairy figure emerged from deep inside that tunnel. Then a second one from behind it followed. Oh, and then a third, fourth, and fifth figure crawled forward. Their eyes locked on me. Welp, that boasting sure backfired! Didn’t think there really were more bears so close, let alone several. “Pinkie? I got a big mouth.” “A very big mouth, but instead of rubbing it in, I’ll just tell you to board the Pinkie Pie Express again and I’ll RUN FOR OUR LIVES!!” I hopped right on the Pinkie Pie Express and she sprinted down the caves with my "new challengers" chasing us. Man, those bears could run! They weren’t losing any ground. There had to be some way I could help. Pinkie’s backpack caught my eye, and an idea popped into my noggin. I pulled out a sandwich from my pack, or rather half a one, and chucked it to the pony/human chasers. No dice. They didn’t seem to even notice my sandwich. I threw out a couple of apples and a bag of chips. Nada. Then maybe they’d bite on a granola bar. Nope, they ignored that too, and that was the last of my food ammo. “Try throwing my food at them too! Throw it all if you have to!” “How you know I’m throwing my food at them? You didn’t look back!” “Eric, stop asking how I know things and just throw, throw, throw!” I dug into and tossed out all the remaining food Pinkie had in her pack, which included two cupcakes, some cookies, and some strawberries. Better not tell Applejack about one of those things Pinkie had in her pack. The one thing I thought those bears would have the least interest in, a daisy sandwich, became the only thing they were interested in. They all stopped and sniffed said sandwich as Pinkie and I pulled further and further away. A wave of relief hit my muscles once they dropped out of view. Pinkie kept running, just in case, and we reached an exit of the cave. But it led to a ledge that looked to be about four, maybe five stories from the muddy ground. I got off Pinkie's back and stared from the ledge–yep we were four or five stories from the ground all right. The outside heat slammed into my face, but there were bigger things to worry about. “No!” I shouted. “We can’t jump from this high! Maybe–” *Roar!* I looked back. My stomach collapsed. Da bears popped back in view and were running toward us. So much of the idea of trying to sneak back that I was about to suggest. “Eric, do you trust me?” Pinkie asked. I turned back to her and met her pleading eyes and frown. “Huh?” “I asked, ‘Eric, do you trust me?’” “Y-yeah?” “Then let me take your hand and jump!” She curled her foreleg around my hand. She jumped off the cliff while pulling me with her! Was that crazy mare even crazier than usual?! I barely got off a scream. Pinkie wrapped her forelegs around me and turned us in midair with our final position being her under me. “Wh–” Pony met ground, and Pinkie’s body was akin to a soft, pink pillow catching me. But despite Pinkie feeling like a living pillow, I bounced off her and landed beside her on my stomach. Both of us were decorated with mud we slammed into. “Pinkie?! What were you thinking?! Are you hurt?!” She rubbed her head, but answered as she smiled, “I’m a little sore, but I’m fine. Are you hurt?” “Nope, thanks to you.” I stared up toward the ledge we had just taken a leap of faith from. The bear brothers had reached it and growled at us, but soon went back into the cave. If I didn’t know better, one of them flipped me the bird with its paws before it left. “I can’t believe you used yourself as a living cushion for me. Thank you, Pinkie.” “Aw, that was nothing.” She gave a friendly wink. “That fall would have seriously hurt you, but I can take falls like that, no problem. Besides, you saved me from being bear food, so playing ‘cushion’ for you was a no-brainer.” It only sank in now that Pinkie had eaten falls like that before–mainly the time Iron Will tossed her off a cliff during Fluttershy’s…phase. All it did was make her mane wet from the mud she landed on. “Even so, you still saved me. There’s also how you pushed me away when I was frozen in place, or I might have been the one pinned by that first bear. But, we better not go into any more caves, just in case, and…” I clenched my fists. Shame over my bit of earlier cowardness drilled holes in my conscience. It should have me pushing Pinkie away from that first bear, not the other way around! “What?” “I can’t believe I wimped out and froze when that first bear charged, yet you didn’t freeze up and pushed me out of its path. I know I got it off you, but it still kinda–” She scowled and raised a hoof. “No, no, no, don’t think like that. You might not look at me as a big sister in the same way you do Twilight and Starlight, but I am older and know a thing or two about being a big sister. Therefore, if one of us should protect the other, it should be me protecting you–and don’t argue.” With Pinkie being Pinkie, it didn’t happen often, but she had the aura of a big sister when she said what she did. Thus my mouth refused to argue. Instead, I peeked into my backpack lying in the mud. Oh boy. It was wet inside, and the…shape of my water bottles gave a good hint of why. “Uh-oh. Despite how you softened my landing, that fall still broke two of my three bottles. The one that wasn’t broken was already fresh out of water.” Pinkie peeked into her pack lying by her. A gasp left her lips. “Uh-oh times two. My bottles are either broken or empty too.” “And if that wasn’t enough, I threw all of our food at those bears to try to get them off our tails, so we’re waterless and foodless.” Pinkie sighed, her ears sagging. “What do we do now? We’re only about an hour or two away from where the fruit should be, but I’m thirsty from being chased by bears and being your emergency pillow.” “I’m thirsty too, but I can get us more clean water at least.” “How?” I put back on my hat lying in the mud, stood to my feet, and put back on my backpack. “First, we gotta find a river or some other water source. I bought some steel, flint, and a little pot in my backpack just in case a jam like this happened.” Good thing I wasn’t too lazy to remember Dad’s lessons about the wilderness–not that he would have allowed it. The three pieces of wood I had collected appeared to be sufficiently dry, and the smaller, thinner twigs would make fine kindling. The little clearing in the jungle we were in at the moment was already making for a sweet brief camping spot. Maybe due to being out of practice, it was tougher than I expected to start a fire. But after a bunch of tries, I finally got one going. Lucky I had wrapped the flint in some old newspaper when it was in my backpack, so some of it managed not to get wet when my bottles broke. “I don’t get it,” Pinkie said as she leaned her head toward the boiling water. “Why are you going to boil the water? Doesn’t cold water taste better than boiling water?” I set a pot full of freshly scooped-up river water over the new fire. “I would prefer cold water, but boiling water from the wild for a few minutes makes it safer to drink. I wouldn’t be too surprised if you could drink it safely as it is, but I wouldn’t be so lucky.” “Oh, right.” Pinkie lightly smacked herself on her head, which screamed “silly me”, and giggled. “Maud told me about that once, so I’ll drink your boiled water too. Did Twilight or Applejack teach you about this? I bet they’d know this stuff.” “Neither. I learned from my dad during our fishing trips. He even taught me about using a hole in the ground as an emergency pot if you had no other options.” “That’s Abso-lutely-tooly-amazing. I bet he’d be proud of you, so I’ll be proud of you in his place.” She petted me on my head. Yep, that’s something a parent might do to their kid, though I don’t think Dad ever pettted my head. He did sometimes rub it when he was proud or just out of fatherly affection. “Thanks, but Dad knows a lot more about surviving in the wild than I do. Calling him a survival expert wouldn’t be inaccurate.” Memories of my trips in the woods with my dad when on our way to fish flooded my noggin. Father-son bonding he called our trips. I don’t remember the first time we went, but I remember that we usually went every two weeks and on occasion, he’d give a wilderness lesson, such as how to build fires. My two sisters still in my old world loathed fishing, so they never came with us. “But if he were here, he might get on my case over something I’m not doing quite right or should do better.” “Hmm. He sounds like my dad. He could be tough on me and my sisters when we were farming rocks and the very rare gem as fillies, but he did it out of love.” “Oh, speaking of gems, it’s a good thing Rarity isn’t out here with us. With how we lost most of our stuff, she’d probably scream ‘This is the worst possible thing!’” I grabbed my cheeks in grand drama queen/large ham fashion. “I’m doomed, darlings! Doomed, doomed, do-o-o-o-med!’” “Ha ha ha! That’s mean, but that sounds just like something she’d say!” “You like that, huh? Then how about this: ‘This is simply unacceptable! My hooves are dirty! A mare of class and beauty such as I cannot just drink water from the wild like some uncouth ruffian!" I threw myself to the ground. If only I had something I could use as a drama couch to jump on instead. "Too much more of this and I will be so-o-o-o do-o-o-o-med!’” Pinkie fell on her back as her laughing intensified. She looked adorable laughing so hard. “Stop! It’s too much! Ha ha ha! Making ponies laugh this hard is my job!” “All right, you ‘suffered’ enough. The 'Making Fun of Rarity Show' is over.” I picked myself off the ground and walked back to the pot of boiling water and looked it over. “After about another minute or two, the water should have boiled long enough to be safe.” “Did your dad also give you tips on what we could eat out here, in case I get hungry before we leave?” She rolled off her back and stood on her hooves. “There’s no fruit, berries, or flowers around that’s edible for me.” I tapped my chin. Of course Dad taught me about what’s edible in the wild, and some of it also existed in Equestria. Including one particular, drastic wilderness dining option that made me squirm when he first told me about it. “Well…he did tell me about one thing to eat that I could probably find right now. But, you’d probably faint if I told you what it is.” “What? Come on, come on, tell me, tell me! I can take it!” “Okay, but you asked for it. It’s fried worms, or at least fried earthworms.” Pinkie’s mouth dropped as her pupils shrank. Hilarious! “WHAAAAT?! Fried W-w-w-worms?! Did you ever eat any?!” “Dad did get me to try some once, but they’re really not that–” *thud!* Heh. I tried to warn her. While the fried worm-hater snoozed away, I poured the newly purified water into our surviving bottles and took a well-needed rest. Though, my rest was done while still awake. After Pinkie finally came too, we left the clearing and resumed the fruit hunt. From what she said before, the hunt was set to be nearing its end! Okay, maybe not. We had been hunting all over the area Pinkie said that fruit should be growing. Yet even after two hours, all we found were fruitless but rose-filled green bushes, trees that only grew leaves, and vines hanging from said trees. The heat bearing down was as relentless a bully as ever. My muscles and feet weren't exactly happy about the soreness plaguing them either. “Pinkie?” I wiped my head–it had called sweat to protect it again. “Are you sure we're looking in the right place? Maybe that fruit's in another part of the jungle.” She yanked out her book out of her mane and skimmed through it. “Uh…according to my book, this should be where the fruit is said to grow.” “Oh. Well, this jungle is big, so hopefully we just need to search a little longer, but it’ll be worth it once we find it. You said its spice can pump up the taste of any food, so have you ever used it before?” “Nope.” Pinkie pushed her book back into her mane. "I've never even seen it. All I know about it is from my fruit book. Now that I think of it, did I tell you the fruit might not exist but is just strongly believed to exist?” Author's Note Chapter 3: Filling a big, sad, dumb holeWhat. Did. I. Hear? The sheer ludicrousness of Pinkie’s newest airheaded blunder froze me. Despite the heat swirling about, mud on my pants and shirt, and sweat from ‘da heat, my eyes could only focus on one thing: the partly mud-covered, fully painfully oblivious-prone earth pony standing before me. “What?! WHAT?!” “‘What?’ What?” Pinkie asked. She wasn’t the only one confused right now! “You mean to tell me that I walked through this stupid jungle for hours for a fruit you don’t even know exists?!Don’t you think that was important information?!” “Ohh…so I did forget to tell you.” “You think?! It’s bad enough you got my hopes up, but I nearly got killed by bears, sweated enough to fill a bath tub, put up with your yapping for–” “Hey!” She scowled and shoved a hoof in my chest. “I didn’t ‘yap’ that much, and I didn’t complain about you getting tired every hour or two, and even let you ride on my back! I wasn’t the one who called out the bears that chased us either!” I pushed her hoof off me. Then shoved a finger into her chest. “Yeah, and all for a fruit that might not exist! You just said it was extremely rare!” Pinkie smacked my hand away. “But I did say that everything the fruit does was said to be true–” “Oh no, don’t try to pull that exact words stuff again, Pinkie Pie! I trusted you, and this is what I get for it?! How can I trust you again?! What do you have to say for yourself?!” Her scowl wilted away. Her ears drooped–she should feel bad! “I…I…” “Well, out with it! It better be good! If you can make me laugh, this would be a good time to do it!” “I didn’t want you to feel sad, okay?!” Okay, that was a good reason. It dunked water over my flames of rage to not even a shimmer. The tears starting to flow from Pinkie’s eyes cut a hole in my chest. Think I went too far. “Oh.” “It breaks my heart to see my friends sad, and I didn’t forget how even my best party barely cheered you up after Twilight told you she couldn’t get you back to your world! I get it; I’m a bad friend you can’t trust and can’t make you happy! You don’t have to be a big meanie and rub it in!” Pinkie bolted off down a dirt trail, weeping and wailing the whole time. Yep, definitely went too far with the mare. “W-wait, Pinkie, don’t go! I’m sorry I yelled at you! Just come back!” My pleas only sped up her running. She jumped through some bushes and out of sight. Wonderful. Me and my very big mouth. If there was anything good about this, it was that she poured so many tears, she left a tear trail on the ground to go along with her hoofprints. That’d make it that much easier to find her and try the apology thing again. So much for this being Pinkie and Eric’s “bonding” jungle trip. *Sniff, whimper, sob* Took a couple of minutes, but I finally found Pinkie under a tree, sitting on her haunches with her head hanging down. Could see her bag lying beside her, but couldn’t see her eyes. Her tears raining from her face sure weren’t hard to see, but were hard to watch. “There you are. Pinkie–” “Leave me alone,” she said in a low, woeful, heart-cracking tone. “I’m a bad friend you can’t trust. You’re better off without me as a friend.” “Pinkie, I’m sorry. I was too mad to think straight, but I didn’t mean that you’re not trustworthy, and you do make me happy. Now that I think of it, this was all just a misunderstanding. It wasn’t like you just lied to me about that fruit; I just misread what you meant. That wasn’t your fault and doesn’t make you a bad friend.” Her head hung down further in silence. “Pinkie, please, just talk to me.” Not even a whimper. She turned away, and her unanswering back “faced” me. I blew a big, long sigh. So be it. “Fine. If you really want me to, I won’t be your friend anymore and will leave you alone. I’ll find a way out of this jungle by myself, so you don’t have to play guide. Just be careful leaving, okay? At least do that for me for our former friendship.” I turned and took slow, reluctant, lonely steps away. Really blew it this time and lost a good friend because I blew my top. Still, there was no time to mope or kick myself; there was still a massive jungle I somehow had to escape from, alone. If I went in one direction long enough, it should eventually take me out of it. Where to go from there was something I’d have to figure out when I reached that road. “Wait.” Not often did I spin to face the opposite way so fast. Pinkie was back on her hooves and walking toward me. She was still frowning, but her eyes had finally stopped leaking tears. “I take back what I said. I don’t want you to leave me alone or to stop being my friend. Even if I did, I couldn’t let you leave on your own and risk getting lost here forever. It’s just…I…” “What?” “I hate how you can’t go back to your old world and I can’t even try to do anything about it. I’m scared to even imagine how I would feel if I were trapped in another world and separated from my family and friends.” Pinkie sat on her haunches again. She mixed in circling a hoof on the ground as she added, “The closest I have to unicorn magic is my Pinkie Sense, but it can’t help. It can only predict some things such as something falling from the sky or beautiful rainbows.” “Oh...wow. I knew Starlight, Sunset, and especially Twilight felt bad that none of them could figure out a safe way to get me back, but I didn’t know you were hurting too. Do Spike, Rarity, or any of our other friends feel like this?” “Knowing them, probably.” She pawed the ground. Her eyes wilted even further. “I don’t think about it often, but when I do think about how I can't do anything for you, it feels like there is a big, sad, dumb hole in my chest. I didn’t want you to feel worse by worrying about me, so I never told you.” “Hmm. I think I get it now. Did that have anything to do with how you wanted to find that fruit for me so bad? You were awfully willing to come out here on your own.” She nodded. “You looked so sad that you couldn’t get your lasagna to be like your mom’s and missed her cooking, so I thought one of those fruits for your spice could help and make you smile. I’ll do anything to see my friends smile, laugh, and be happy.” I wrapped an arm around her back. “Then that already proves you’re not a bad friend. And another thing, even if you did tell me right away that fruit might not exist, I still would have wanted to look for it. I chewed you out for something I would have done anyway, so I was a, uh, big meanie to treat you like that.” After a groan, I thought, ‘I’m an idiot.’ “But even if we would have come anyway, I still feel bad that I forgot to tell you earlier it might not exist, so you wouldn’t be sad or disappointed if it didn’t.” She gently wrapped her forelegs around me; one of her less common normal strength hugs. “I’m so sorry I let you down.” I returned the hug. I admit her fur made our hug a bit cuddly, even if we both had a little dry mud on us from the great ledge jump earlier. “No, you didn’t let me down, especially now that I know your true feelings. I’m sorry for being out of line and making you cry. Plus, if you really want to help how I can’t go back to my old world, just being a friend who makes me smile will be enough. I do miss my mom’s lasagna, but I can still be happy if I never eat lasagna like hers again, especially if I have a friend and something of a big sister like you.” When I said “big sister”, Pinkie’s grip around me tightened just a tad. “You mean that?” “Yep! You said it wasn’t a big deal, but you still pushed me out of that big Bear of the Year's charge in that cave and then used your body as a cushion to save us from the running of the bears. So, thanks…big sis.” “Hehe, I said it was a ‘no brainer, little bro, but you saved me from being bear food. You’re fun to hung out with, and you’re not as uptight as Twilight and Applejack are about my, as they or even you might put it, ‘Pinkieness’.” “Heh heh, yeah. Twilight might have rubbed off on me a little, but not that much.” We let each other go. Prime opportunity for a surprise bloop! Of course I was gonna take it: I “blooped” her muzzle, and got an even cuter and happier giggle than usual out of her. But once we got back to Ponyville, I planned to look for Spike, Rarity, Rainbow, Fluttershy, and Applejack. Just in case any of them were hiding any hidden “big, sad, dumb holes” in their chests too that needed filling. ”But one thing that I admire about her is that the Princess of Determination doesn’t give up easily, so let’s follow her example. We could search for that fruit a little while longer before Celestia lowers the sun to search a little longer. That is, if you want to and aren’t hungry.” She grinned and set off her signature string of hops. “Abso-lutely-tooly! That is, not about being too hungry, but abso-lutely-tooly to keep fruit-hunting.” "Then let’s check places we haven’t been yet but could be growing one of those fruits! We have about another hour before it becomes too late.” Pinkie ran back to grab her backpack, then we went on our final fruit hunt. Yes! Just had to hope it wasn’t some jungle mirage from the heat. Before Pinkie and I was a thick green bush growing a cache of smooth, thin, and beautiful red fruits. I pointed to our elusive targets. "Are those the fruits you were talking about? I’m going to be the happiest human ever if you say 'yes'." She pulled out her fruit book from her mane and skimmed through it. She grinned, which made my own grin bigger. “Then prepare to be the happiest human ever, because these are it! They exist after all!” We both jumped up and down while cheering. Best jungle bonding trip ever! I nearly forgot to pick off and toss a couple of my prized fruits in my backpack. If they are only good for a few days after being picked, it wouldn’t make much sense to take more than a couple. A gasp from my new favorite earth pony (sorry Applejack) cut the cheering and hopping. She turned to face away from me and said in a chilling serious voice, “Eric? Don’t look back. Just get on the Pinkie Pie Express, now.” “Huh? Why?” Curiosity overrode Pinkie’s order and I looked behind me. My mouth dropped. No! Not that! Not a cragadile! The trees and vines partly obscured it, but I knew it was a cragadile! I'd recognize those bone-crushing jaws and teeth anywhere! My heart leapt into my throat and my stomach turned and filled with nausea. I jumped right on the Pinkie Pie Express. How I didn’t scream was a mini-miracle. “Run, hop, roll, whatever! Just get us out of here, ASAP!” Pinkie sprinted off and I closed my eyes. Just in case another of my nightmares might have been ahead or simply nearby, I just could not risk looking as long as we were in this jungle. “Okay, Eric, we’re out of the jungle. You can open your eyes now.” I cracked open my eyes–wasn’t the time to wonder how she knew they were closed. Yep, we were standing on a dirt road and just outside the “entrance” to that jungle. Better still, no cragadiles in sight! But those teeth from that cragadile in the jungle, and the idea that one was close again…oh man. Even if it didn’t seem to see me, it still fired off flashbacks in my noggin about being in that first cragadile’s sights in the Everfree Forest. The playback scene was too clear: that humongous monster moved in closer and closer, close enough to feel its breathing at its closest. Throwing in how it had intentions of tearing apart Sunset and me, crushing us inside its mouth, and finally eating us as prey…yeah, my stomach suffered a panic attack. If it wasn’t for Sunset using a desperation super-effective flash attack and me later pitching fastballs with rocks into its eyes to make it change its dinner plans, we would have been dead. And it was a good thing I got off Pinkie’s back before what food I had eaten earlier made a premature return. “You’re okay, Eric,” Pinkie cooed while she rubbed my back while I was busy heaving. “There aren’t any cragadiles nearby that can hurt you again.” *Buzzer ringing* Time’s up. With gloves over my hands, I opened the oven and pulled out my latest batch of lasagna AKA attempt #11. The sauce, cheese, strings of parsley, and bits of the new spice all waved a cascade of aromas seeping into the ‘ol nose. It didn’t smell just good, but nostalgic. Then again, that would have been a bit too convenient, so I bet it was just wishful thinking making the smell seem nostalgic. “So, is it ready, chef?” Pinkie asked with a puzzled frown. She wore a chef’s hat to match the one I wore in place of my usual hat ‘o' Cutie Marks. “Wouldn’t it be easier to cut a piece once your pan is on the table?” “Uh, sorry, Pinkie. I was in thoughts.” I carried the pan with attempt #11 to and on the kitchen table. “After we let it cool off a little, it’ll be the moment of truth.” “Nah, we don’t have to wait. I got this!” Pinkie pulled out a fan from her mane and let it blow over attempt #11. Well, that’s one way to cool off hot food. “Heh, okay so the moment of truth is now. Here we go. At the very least, you said attempt #10 was good, so I can make at least decent lasagna even without that 'short-lived' spice.” “That’s right!” Pinkie cheerfully patted me on the back. “That last lasagna you made was really good and I’m sure this will be even better. So even if this lasagna isn’t close to your mom’s, then make this your own recipe. I think she’d be happy to see you make lasagna like hers, but she would want you to make them your way. It was how she created her lasagna’s recipe, right?” “I think so. She was proud of how well she fine-tuned her lasagna, and I think it was why she made it her signature meal by keeping its full recipe a secret. But, I will do something different; no matter how great any of my food becomes, their recipes will not be kept secret, especially not from my friends. But enough of that; it’s taste time.” I sliced through the noodles, cheese, and parsley with a knife and cut out a small, square piece. Nerves forced my hands to shake a bit as I lifted the piece onto a plate beside the pan. I glanced at Pinkie, who wore a supportive smile. That smile emitted a deep, soothing feeling that hugged my nerves and calmed my hands. Of the small piece of lasagna I had cut out, I sliced off a smaller still piece and, slowly, raised it to my lips. Couldn’t keep dragging this out, so I bit into the piece to get it over with. Not bad. The smooth texture of the noodles and molten cheese surrendering its flavor as I chewed…yes, it got the taste buds dancing. The tomato sauce and parsley joined the flavor dance. But while it was my best lasagna yet, it still failed to be like Mom’s– Wait. Another flavor, maybe from the spice, shot through my mouth. Weird, it didn’t seem to have its own flavor, but it did excite the flavor of everything else – the cheese, sauce, parsley – and mixed it all into almost a single, cheese/sauce/parsley flavor explosion. That dancing of my taste buds roared into a dance party. As I kept chewing and finally swallowed, tears ran down my face. Oh, and a big smile joined the fun as well. This. This! While it wasn’t quite 100% like Mom’s, this was how her lasagna tasted! NO idea how that spice did the trick, but it did! “Yes! Yes! Yes!” Pinkie cheered while she bore a big ‘ol smile of her own. “That’s the smile I wanted to–” I snatched Pinkie into my arms. I leaned down a little to get a good grip, then picked her up by her torso and swung her around in circles! Despite being around my height, most Equestrian mares are surprisingly light and weigh about as much as an average-sized woman, who I was more than strong enough to lift. Especially when I was this happy! “Yes, we did it! This is just like my Mom’s lasagna! I couldn’t have done this without you! Thank you so much, Pinkie Pie! I love you!” “I love you too, but can you put me down now? I didn’t prepare myself to spin, so I’m getting sick!” I set her down on the spot. Her eyes were literally spinning. “Oops, s-sorry.” She shook her head to calm her eyes, then smirked. What was she up to this time? “You should be s-sorry, because while your spinning was good, your hug on me was waaaaay too weak.” She spread out her forelegs, wide. "This is how you hug me!” “Wait, no no, don’t–” Two pink, crushing forelegs swallowed and squeezed down on my poor back, sucking a breath from my lungs. Arms were pinned in ‘em forelegs too, so moving sure wasn’t an option. “See? When you hug a Pinkie Pie, you hug her TIGHTLY!” “Okay, lesson learned! Let me go! Your forelegs are stronger than a Cragadile's jaws!” “Not yet, Silly Eric! To make sure you learn your lesson, I’m going to hug you a little longer.” “Then tell you what: if you end your lesson early, I’ll finally try to sing as a thank you for helping me. Not joking this time.” *Deep inhale of shock* Never before had forelegs – or anything for that matter – unwrapped themselves off me so fast. Author's Note Prepare for plates to break from Eric's singing.
Chapter 1: A excursion all alone with Energy IncarnateWelp, chalk up attempt #10 at replicating my mom’s lasagna as another bust. What was I screwing up on?! Too much or too little cheese? Not the right kind of cheese? Did I chop up the wrong kind of parsley or oregano leaves? Maybe there wasn’t supposed to be any parsley at all? Sure, I had never tried to bake lasagna till attempt #1 a couple of weeks ago. Then again, even if I wasn’t a rookie lasagna baker, Mom always kept part of her lasagna recipe a secret, so there would be no choice but to pitch blind on some ingredients. The aroma of attempt #10's freshly baked, molten cheese, mixed with tomato sauce, did hug the ‘ol taste buds and nose with a "B" grade. However, it wasn’t Mom’s lasagna sitting on the kitchen table. Not even close. On the bright side, attempt #10 was a lot better than attempt #2. How bad was #2? Let’s just say Starlight had a good laugh watching me break personal records running to the toilet. “Hiya!!” “Whoa!” I jumped almost half a foot in the air. My heart needed a moment to stop screaming. I swung around and two big, blue eyes met me. Yep, they were Pinkie Pie’s eyes. If you’re wondering how we could literally see eyes-to-eyes, adult Equestrian ponies are – somewhat surprisingly – roughly my height, so there you go. Anyway, I gently pushed Pinkie back a little and yelled, “Pinkie! I told you to never do that again!” “You did?” “Yeah! It was after your ‘surprise friendly greeting’ two weeks ago when I got off work from the Ponyville Spa.” “Oh, that, but you told me to never shout ‘Hi!’ behind you when you’re leaving the Spa. You never said I couldn’t shout ‘Hiya!’ behind you when you’re cooking in Twilight’s kitchen.” “But…I…you…” I hate it when Pinkie throws in a technicality to shut me down. “Fine, then promise to never shout any kind of greeting to me if you're right behind me. Calling out to me in your regular voice would be fine, though.” “Okay, I promise.” Pinkie hopped to my newest lasagna AKA attempt #10. “Ooh, this smells good! I didn’t know you cooked lasagna.” “I’m trying to recreate my mom’s lasagna, but I only know more or less half of her recipe. This one is the best yet, yet it’s still nowhere good enough.” Pinkie cut a piece of lasagna and swallowed it in one, big bite. It was meatless, so she had no qualms about wolfing down a piece. “Even so, this is pretty tasty. You even made it by yourself without a full recipe to go by, right? It reminds me of when I baked my first-ever cake with no recipe.” “Maybe. You can have some more of it later, but my mom’s lasagna would blow this out of the water.” I blew a long, heavy sigh. My fists tightened. Equestria has done well as my new home, but sometimes it doesn’t feel quite like home. Being the only one of my species here sure didn’t help the “home” factor. “Man, Pinkie, I miss her cooking. Even if Twilight could figure out how to send me back to my old world safely, well…let’s just say I still wouldn’t be able to eat my mom’s lasagna again. One way or another, I’d be missing her cooking and her anyway.” Pinkie gently laid a kind hoof on my back. “Aw, Eric, please don’t feel–wait, I have an idea. I’ve heard of a spice that is said to make any kind of meal tastier. If you had some, it might turn your lasagna into more like your mom’s if hers really is that good.” My fists loosened from their tight, hope-losing ball. Yes. Hope was alive! “I’ll give anything a shot for even a chance to finally eat lasagna comparable to Mom’s again. What is this spice called?" “I don’t remember what it’s called, but you can’t buy it from stores.” “Why not?” “Its taste is also said to only last up to three days after the fruit it comes from is plucked. Not only that, the fruit is extremely rare, just like one of Maud’s favorite rocks. You have no idea how long it took me to find one of those rocks for her birthday four–” I slapped my hand over Pinkie’s mouth, or else she might have kept yapping for a while. She does that. ”Uh, you can tell me your rock hunt later. Go back to that spice.” Pinkie pointed to her mouth. Right–my hand was still clamped over it. “Sorry.” I yanked my hand from her mouth. “Okay, let’s try this again. If I can’t nab that spice or its fruit, why did you even tell me about it?” “Because I know where it’s supposed to grow, so I could go get it for you. If it’s out there, I will find it, or my name’s not Pinkamena Diane Pie.” “Interesting. That’s a Grand Slam-level game-changer, Pinkamena Diane Pie.” I picked up my lasagna and set it in the refrigerator. Spike enjoyed even attempt #2, so he’d definitely want to chow down on attempt #10. “Still, you don’t have to fetch it for me. I’ll track it down myself.” The corners of her lips sagged. “Uh…sorry, but I can’t let you look for it alone.” “Why not? All you have to tell me is where it is and how it looks.” “But its fruit is said to grow reallllly deep in a huuuuge jungle, and could take hours to find one, if not a whole day. I know how to get through it by myself, but you could get lost forever.” “But–” She groaned and stared sternly at me. Her feel of her eyes shook me up a bit. The usually airheaded Pinkie Pie entered serious mode, which always stole my full attention on the spot. “Eric, listen to me. You have been my friend ever since we met, and I don’t want to see you sad. So, let me find that fruit for you and your lasagna.” A vastly more fitting - for her – giggle eeked from her mouth as she patted my head. “Haven’t you learned helping friends is what friends do, Silly-Eric? Or should I make you a student in my next class?” She ended with a friendly, playful wink. “Heh, didn’t expect to hear a friendship speech from you today, Teach.” I “blooped” her muzzle. As she always did when she got “blooped”, she giggled. “I’ll pass on being student for a day, but I’ll tell you what: instead of one of us going alone, we could fruit-hunt together.” “Works for me! Whee!” The pink one grinned and did her signature, admittedly adorable, hopping. Upbeat music suddenly started playing. Whenever music played out of nowhere, it only meant one thing: a song was coming on! "♪ It’s just you and me. We’re going to a jungle, we’re going to a jun– ♪“ She stopped hopping. Her song must have been canceled; the music died. “Wait, I’ll sing a make-up song later. I just remembered that we’ve never gone on a trip with just us before!” “Oh…right. I would be all alone in a jungle with you for hours, if not the whole day. Uh…maybe we should ask the gang or at least Twi to tag along with us. Uh, for safety purposes.” “Nah, we can handle that jungle on our own. Besides, this can be our Pinkie & Eric bonding jungle trip! It’ll be fun, fun, fun, and fun!” “Fun, fun, fun, and fun” she said. Now, Pinkie is (most of the time) a lovable and fun pony but just…excitable. She’s not the Element of Laughter for nothing. Still, being stuck alone with Energy Incarnate for too long could be sanity-risking. “Yeah, fun, so we’ll go it alone. When do you want to head out?” “Why not now?” Pinkie pushed me from behind with her muzzle toward the kitchen doorway. “Let’s go! Let’s go!” “Wait, right now? It’s dangerous to travel through jungles at night, especially by ourselves!” She halted her pushing. Guess that goofball forgot it was early evening, not early morning. “Oh, hehe, right. Then how about tomorrow morning? You’re off work from the Spa tomorrow, right?” “I am off, but tomorrow’s out too. The Princess of Teaching wouldn’t appreciate her laughter teacher or ‘bridge to pony society’ going jungle-trekking on such short notice.” “Oh. Saturday morning then? Our school would be closed and Saturday’s another of your days off from the Spa.” “Now Saturday morning sounds like a plan. We just gotta be out of that jungle before Celestia lowers the sun, fruit or no fruit.” “We will, so starting Saturday morning, our Pinkie & Eric bonding jungle trip will begin! Whee!” Pinkie wrapped a foreleg around me. “Come on, say ‘Whee!’ with me too!” her smile snuck into a sly one. “You know you want to...” “Heh heh, why not? It beats you trying to get me to sing.” I started a countdown with my fingers. “3, 2, 1…” “WHEE!!” The plan was set. Three days later, on a Saturday morning, Pinkie and I departed Ponyville for our mystery dung–I mean, mystery jungle excursion. We both carried backpacks stuffed with food, bottles of water, and some outdoor survival supplies. Last but not least, as I normally did anyway, I wore my hat with designs of the gang's Cutie Mark on it, as well as carrying a green geode hanging from a necklace Sunset had given me. In a way, they were all coming along with us. Even if Pinkie curbed her “Pinkieness” – a big “if” as is – taking a trip deep into a jungle set this day up to be a long one. Ugh. Our mystery jungle excursion was gearing up to be even tougher than expected. My feet weren’t just sore; they were pounding! Energy Incarnate and I had been treading through this jungle barely fifteen minutes, yet sweat was already gathering on my forehead like an uninvited guest. Figures the air in a tropical-ish jungle would be heavy and moist, but not this constricting! It wasn't all bad though. The view was pretty sweet; the sun punched pockets of light through the “sky” of towering treetops and their long, snake-y vines – some vines swayed side to side. Bushes, some of which bloomed flowers, joined the trees as junglemates. The crunches of brown leaves underfoot/underhoof were oddly cathartic. Of course, the view or leaves didn’t negate the swarming, bullying heat in the muggy air trying to suffocate me! The weight from my backpack pushing down on my back turned this trip from normal mode into hard mode. And not the fun kind of hard mode. I hoped I wouldn't need it, but a pink-glowing baseball bat stuck out of my backpack, which Twilight had infused with a bit of her magic. Thanks to its partnership with alicorn-brand magic, this bad boy packs a far harder wallop than a normal bat. As for Pinkie, despite her natural pink coat, she still seemed unaffected by jungle hard mode. She was hopping along with as much energy as ever while somehow balancing a backpack on her back despite her hops. In fact, ever since we reached the jungle, she evolved from “merely” being talkative to yapping non-stop! “...there is more thick grass growing by that blue bush. Ooh, the tree behind us has a squirrel couple standing on a branch. And there’s–” “Okay, Pinkie, I get it! I know I’ve never been in jungles before, but I’m not a little foal who’s clueless about them! Just focus more on leading us to our target fruit and less on being my jungle teacher.” “Okie-dokie-lokie!” “Oh, and can I see the book from earlier? I want to check pictures of that fruit again.” “Sure-kie lokie!” Pinkie stopped hopping and reached into her backpack. She pulled out her fruit book and showed a page holding pictures of a red, slender, slick fruit growing on a particularly thick green bush. Another picture on the same page had it dangling from a stalk off a tree branch. Apparently, it can grow from a type of bush and tree. “I’m good. You can put it back now.” I wiped my sweat-ridden forehead. The strain from my backpack and the thick, muggy air’s attack drilled through my dwindling energy reserves. It was too early in the hunt for it to happen already, but my increasingly sore muscles and feet crept closer to tapping. Welp, it happened. It took forty minutes, give or take, but the bite from the jungle’s thick air and heat, the weight from my backpack, and the burning of my feet from non-stop walking forced a tap out. My dry, cracking lips sure assisted in the shameless taps. Going by how Pinkie was still hopping, she was nowhere close to tapping, but she would just have to let me submit. A tree we were about to pass under looked like a nice spot for a break, so I sat down under it. I slid my backpack off and lay back against the tree. Its rough bark wasn't the most comfortable thing to lay your back against, but the relief from just being off my feet alone paid any deficits. Man, sitting had rarely felt so good! “Eric?” Pinkie stopped her bouncing and stared down at me. “What are you doing?” “I’m resting. What else?” I pulled out a bottle of water from my pack and gulped some down. It washing down my desert of a throat felt like heaven on steroids. “But we haven’t been here for an hour yet! I thought humans could walk for at least an hour or two on hoof–uh, foot. I guess Starlight was right when she called you lazy.” I growled and pointed a finger at her. “Okay, she only meant how I’m slow to get out of bed and…fine, my room is messy a lot. But I’m not being lazy this time; we also walked for over an hour after we got off the train, so we’ve been on the go for nearly two hours straight.” I swatted my forehead free of sweat again. “You could outlast even the fittest humans, let alone a normal one like me.” “Hehe, you have a point,” Pinkie said with her usual smile returning. “Sorry if I was a big meanie just now. We still have a long way to go, but you can re–wait, I know!” She lowered herself halfway to the ground. “You can ride on my back. That way, you can rest up while I get us closer to where the fruit is said to be. You can just hold our backpacks in front of you while you ride.” “You don’t mind?” “Nope! My back is your back! Ooh, you said some ponies in your world sometimes carry humans on their backs, right?” A smirk curled on Pinkie's lips. “In case you forgot, I am a pony, so...” “Heh heh, I accept. You make a strong argument.” I stuffed my water bottle back in my backpack. “Still I don't want to take advantage of you, so I’ll ride for ten minutes tops. That should be long enough to recharge my batteries.” “Then hop on the Pinkie Pie Express!” She put her forehooves to both sides of her mouth and cheered, “Choo choo!” Okay, that was cute as all gets out. Some of Pinkie’s playful antics are stinking adorable. After I pushed myself to my still-aching feet, I climbed on the "Pinkie Pie Express." I positioned the Element of Adorableness’s and my backpacks in front of me. Heh, shouldn’t be too surprised because she was Pinkie, but her back was soft, tender, almost pillow-like. Hold on–I nearly forgot something important! “Wait, before you stand fully up, make sure to not hop while I’m on your back. I don’t want to fly off you and break my back. Deal?” “Deal! I won’t hop while you’re my passenger.” She stood up to her full height. “Now, let’s go, cowpony–I mean, cowcolt–uh, that is–” “It’s ‘cowboy’.” “‘Cowboy’ was gonna be my next guess! Okay, let me try this again. Let’s go, cowboy!” True to her word, Pinkie walked, not hopped along, with leaves crunching under her hooves with each step. I could get used to the soothing crunching of leaves. As well as riding her. However, a question flashed in my noggin. Crushing dread enveloped my chest. It was nuts how the question didn’t flash sooner, though I was kinda scared to ask. “Uh, Pinkie? Quick question: are there any cragadiles in this jungle?” “No, I don’t think there are cragadiles around.” My heart and chest knocked that crushing dread out of the park! Metaphorically of course. “Whew! I was almost worried!” “There may be just one somewhere.” “What?!” I shouted. No! Even a single cragadile anywhere close is too many for me! That previous dread rushed back into the park and had a baby packed with paranoia, forcing shakes from my hands. “I should have asked you before we left Ponyville!” “Why?” “You forgot that ever since one almost had Sunset and me for dinner, I’ve been terrified of them?” She stopped walking. “Ohh…right. You did say you became scared of them and won't go into the Everfree Forest anymore. Well, we probably won’t run into it, but we can go back to Ponyville if you’re scared. Or, since I’m not scared, just let me find that fruit for you on my own.” Man. Oh man, was I dying to turn tail! But, the chance of eating lasagna like my mom’s again was too good to pass up. Sure wasn’t gonna let Pinkie go it alone. “No, I can’t chicken out or leave you by yourself out here. Fluttershy faced her fears when she was terrified, so I’ll…*gulp*...try to follow her example.” “You sure?” “I’m sure.” “Okay. But if we do see a cragadile, I’ll have us out of here faster than you can say ‘Okie-dokie-lokie-pokie-bokie-cookie!’” “Uh, yeah, whatever you said last, and thanks. Let’s keep going.” With that, Pinkie and I continued our hunt while, for the moment, I rode on Pinkie’s back. ‘Be brave like Fluttershy. Be brave like Fluttershy.’ The good news: since the jungle was huge, we might not run into that beast. The bad news: a storm of anxiety still freed butterflies into my belly. For some reason, it felt like cragadiles might not be the thing I would be most worried about. Author's Note Odd feeling Eric had. Do you have any guesses on what he might be sensing could be in store for him and Energy Incarnate?
Chapter 2: Are we there yet? (Bear!)Four hours. Felt like Pinkie and I had slogged through this jungle the whole day, not just four lousy hours. It seemed my body was becoming a little used to its muggy air, so it didn’t squeeze so much now. It just felt hot. If that wasn’t enough, it was getting b-o-r-i-n-g boring! Leaf-crunching under feet/hooves had lost its charm and catharsis factor. Not surprisingly, Energy Incarnate was still as energetic and cheerful as ever. I wasn't aboard the “Pinkie Pie Express” so she was back to doing her signature hopping, humming under her breath, as she led us to our target fruit. “Ugh. Pinkie, I already know the answer, but are we there yet?” “Not yet! Why did you ask if you already know, Silly Eric?” “Because I’m that bored. I didn’t think I’d want it so much by this point, but do something ‘Pinkie Pie’.” She halted her hopping and turned back to me. “Uh, what?” “Pie us in the face, give me jungle lessons, sing, anything to liven things up. In fact, if you sing, I’ll sing with you in a duet.” Pinkie’s eyes sparkled. She sucked in a deep, and I mean deep inhale, followed by her lips curling into one of the biggest grins ever. “You mean it?! You want to sing?!” Did I actually say “I’ll sing” out loud? Oops! “No, no, that wasn’t–” “Hit it, strange unseen music player! He’s finally ready to sing!” *upbeat music plays* “No, I’m not! No, I’m not! I don’t want to sing! It was a joke!” “♪ No, you can’t take it back! It’s time for you to sing! ♪” I took a page out of something I had used on Twilight a few times. I laid into Pinkie with my best “puppy dog” eyes. “Big sis” Twilight always caved, sometimes hard, when I gave her those eyes–karma for the many times she roped me into begrudgingly doing something with her impossible-to-say-no-to adorable/adorkable smiles and faces. Maybe Pinkie would respond the same way; like Twi, she is a mare who’s older than me. “♪ Eric, no, don’t look at me like that! You are going to sing, sing, sing! ♪” Cue pouring on the puppy-dog eyes tactic further. The Pink One let loose one of the poutiest groans of all time. “Fiiiiine.” *Upbeat music ends* Heh, the batting average for the ‘ol puppy dog eyes tactic remained 1.000. AKA perfect. “But I am going to hear you sing someday. Just you wait!” “Not likely, and if you do, your ears will learn too late why my lips should never sing. At any rate, this heat is starting to wear me down again. Are there any caves in this jungle or some place that’s cooler nearby?” As was common with thinking ponies, Pinkie rolled her eyes upward. “Hmm…yep, there’s a cave about twenty or so minutes away.” “Twenty minutes? That’s not too long a walk, so can we go there for a while?” “Fine by me!” she exclaimed with her typical smile returning. Safe to say she was over being cheated out of hearing me try to sing. “We can use them as a shortcut to the part of the jungle with the fruit we’re looking for anyway.” “Wait, if it would be a shortcut, then why didn’t you lead us there on your own?” “You didn’t ask me to, Silly Eric,” Pinkie answered in a lighthearted yet sorta matter-of-fact tone. “But how…” I facepalmed. No time to get too annoyed over how she didn’t choose to take us on that shortcut from the start. “Nevermind. Just lead us to the cave. If you know of more shortcuts, leave me to them, even if I don’t ask.” “Okie-dokie! Follow me! We’re going cave walking!” “Are we there yet?” Pinkie asked “No.” “Are we there yet?” “No.” “Are we there yet?” “No.” Yes, you are hearing right. Pinkie is asking “Are we there yet?” as part of a half-game/half-joke she cooked up to keep boredom at bay. To be fair, it worked for the first five or so minutes. But those five minutes had been up for at least ten minutes. “Are we there yet?” “No.” “Are we there yet?” “No.” “We’re here now!” “No–I mean, we are?” I smacked my head to knock myself back out of auto-answer mode. Indeed, the inviting entrance of a cave, digging into a mountain, lay before us. “Yep! Let’s go in! I can already hear your soon-to-be fruit calling for us!” Oh yeah, that hit the spot. Compared to the humid jungle air, the cooler, freer air in this cave…I couldn’t even think of a fitting analogy! The only downside was that the cheery overhead view of treetops with dots of blue sky was swapped with a view of the dim and rough brown ceiling of a mountain cave. The stalactites growing down from the ceiling added some variety to the scenery though. “It feels g-r-e-a-t in here! How long will we have to travel down here?” “About an hour, I think. But once we’re out, we shouldn’t be too far from where the fruit is said to grow.” With Pinkie hopping in front, she and I made our way through the cave’s winding tunnels. Funny–the earlier leaf-crunching was soothing, but after becoming used to it, the lack of leaf-crunching in this cave became the new catharsis factor. “Are we there yet?” “No.” “Are we there yet?” “No.” “Are we there yet?” “No.” “Are we–” Pinkie’s mane flapped side to side four times. Weird, unless it was her Pinkie Sense going off. “Uh-oh.” Pinkie stepped backward to stand beside me. Somehow, it felt like it was almost out of protection. “Eric, we’re in trouble.” “Why? What do mane flaps mean in Pinkie Sense language?” “It means ‘a bear is stalking us’.” “Wh–” *Roar!* Pinkie and I spun around. A colossal, hairy bear stood behind us! Did its teeth and claws look razor-sharp or what?! How did that thing get so close or trail us without one of us hearing it?! It must have been sleeping or whatnot in one of the tunnels we didn’t pick when we had two or more options to choose from. I tried to force my feet to run, but they might have well been weighted down by cement shoes due to paralyzing, heart-gripping fright. The hairy beast lunged, but that pesky fear shut down my whole body! Couldn’t even open my mouth to scream. A shove on my side forced me off my feet and smack onto the ground. *Scream!* My eyes widened. I looked at where that scream came from. That bear was pinning down Pinkie! *Roar!* “Ahh! Help!” No. No bear tries to hurt or eat Pinkie Diane Pie if I can help it. Adrenaline gave fear a pink slip and became the new boss. Its first demand: grit my teeth. Second demand: reach into my backpack and yank out my alicorn-brand baseball bat. It was Bear Season. “Hey! Get off her!” I whacked that bear with my bat, and threw in two more whacks for good measure. It lifted its paws off Pinkie and reared up to face me, or rather to look down at me; it had a good two-head height difference. It snarled and held firm, holding its ground I suppose. Good. It would make 'ol hairy an easier target for batting practice. “Eric, get out of here! I take back my scream for help! I don’t want to see you get hurt!” “Pinkie, I’m not gonna get hurt.” I pointed my bat at big, tall, and hairy. “That’s the job of the ugly bear with a death wish.” Preemptive strike! I dashed to the bear and went to town with one smash from my bat to another while unleashing battle shouts. The assault could not let up or else I’d risk eating a counterattack. It roared with each hit, but as my batting practice raged on, they started becoming more and more like whimpers. A shot in its chest, and it fell to one knee. Yeah, as if begging would save it. “You like that?! Try this on for size!” I wound up and ordered all of the strength I could call for duty. My hands’ grip on my bat tightened. “Batter up!” I swung for the fences, as in I smacked that bear with the strength of two Erics! Ooo, that felt and sounded delicious! Ugly went flying through the air and landed with a big ‘ol thud. I made a beeline to where it lay – my new punching bag wasn’t getting off so easy for even daring to hurt Pinkie – but it hopped to its feet and fled down a tunnel. I was so tempted to give chase and continue the no-holds-barred beatdown, but my brain gave my rage the order to stand down. Had to catch my breath anyway. “Yeah, you…*pant*...better run, ugly! Lay a paw on my friend again…*pant*...and I’ll make you into a fur coat!” After a few more seconds, the not-so-scary bear dripped out of view. I turned to Pinkie and asked, “Pinkie, are you–” A pink blur rushed into me. Forelegs clamped down on my back and squeezed. Tightly. Crushingly even! “Thank you thank you thank you, Eric! You saved my life! If it wouldn’t be weird for you, I would kiss you right now!” “Ow, how about less hugging too? You’re gonna snap me in half!” Equestria’s strongest forelegs released their iron grip and I dropped to my knees. Yep, Pinkie – and ponies in general, especially earth ponies – is a lot stronger than she looks! “Oops, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hug you that tightly.” “Considering what almost happened to you, this is preferable.” I pushed myself to my feet and slid my bat back into my backpack. “But thank you for pushing me out of the way of Mr. Ugly when it tried to jump me, and we both can thank Twilight for making my bat have so much hitting power. My normal bat might not have been strong enough to own that bear, but you saw what I just did to it with my magic-powered one.” “Yeah, you were amazing! I’ve never seen you like that before! You were a real badflank! Hehe.” “Badflank” is close enough, I suppose. “Heh heh, what can I say? When we have our acts together and mean business, humans are warriors. Trying to hurt my friends is a way to wake up my warrior spirit.” I picked up my hat, which had fallen off my head when Pinkie shoved me out of bear-range earlier, stared toward a nearby tunnel, and yelled, “You hear that, bears?! If anybear nearby wants some, come out and get some! That first coward was barely a warm-up! I want a real bear of a fight!” A new, big hairy figure emerged from deep inside that tunnel. Then a second one from behind it followed. Oh, and then a third, fourth, and fifth figure crawled forward. Their eyes locked on me. Welp, that boasting sure backfired! Didn’t think there really were more bears so close, let alone several. “Pinkie? I got a big mouth.” “A very big mouth, but instead of rubbing it in, I’ll just tell you to board the Pinkie Pie Express again and I’ll RUN FOR OUR LIVES!!” I hopped right on the Pinkie Pie Express and she sprinted down the caves with my "new challengers" chasing us. Man, those bears could run! They weren’t losing any ground. There had to be some way I could help. Pinkie’s backpack caught my eye, and an idea popped into my noggin. I pulled out a sandwich from my pack, or rather half a one, and chucked it to the pony/human chasers. No dice. They didn’t seem to even notice my sandwich. I threw out a couple of apples and a bag of chips. Nada. Then maybe they’d bite on a granola bar. Nope, they ignored that too, and that was the last of my food ammo. “Try throwing my food at them too! Throw it all if you have to!” “How you know I’m throwing my food at them? You didn’t look back!” “Eric, stop asking how I know things and just throw, throw, throw!” I dug into and tossed out all the remaining food Pinkie had in her pack, which included two cupcakes, some cookies, and some strawberries. Better not tell Applejack about one of those things Pinkie had in her pack. The one thing I thought those bears would have the least interest in, a daisy sandwich, became the only thing they were interested in. They all stopped and sniffed said sandwich as Pinkie and I pulled further and further away. A wave of relief hit my muscles once they dropped out of view. Pinkie kept running, just in case, and we reached an exit of the cave. But it led to a ledge that looked to be about four, maybe five stories from the muddy ground. I got off Pinkie's back and stared from the ledge–yep we were four or five stories from the ground all right. The outside heat slammed into my face, but there were bigger things to worry about. “No!” I shouted. “We can’t jump from this high! Maybe–” *Roar!* I looked back. My stomach collapsed. Da bears popped back in view and were running toward us. So much of the idea of trying to sneak back that I was about to suggest. “Eric, do you trust me?” Pinkie asked. I turned back to her and met her pleading eyes and frown. “Huh?” “I asked, ‘Eric, do you trust me?’” “Y-yeah?” “Then let me take your hand and jump!” She curled her foreleg around my hand. She jumped off the cliff while pulling me with her! Was that crazy mare even crazier than usual?! I barely got off a scream. Pinkie wrapped her forelegs around me and turned us in midair with our final position being her under me. “Wh–” Pony met ground, and Pinkie’s body was akin to a soft, pink pillow catching me. But despite Pinkie feeling like a living pillow, I bounced off her and landed beside her on my stomach. Both of us were decorated with mud we slammed into. “Pinkie?! What were you thinking?! Are you hurt?!” She rubbed her head, but answered as she smiled, “I’m a little sore, but I’m fine. Are you hurt?” “Nope, thanks to you.” I stared up toward the ledge we had just taken a leap of faith from. The bear brothers had reached it and growled at us, but soon went back into the cave. If I didn’t know better, one of them flipped me the bird with its paws before it left. “I can’t believe you used yourself as a living cushion for me. Thank you, Pinkie.” “Aw, that was nothing.” She gave a friendly wink. “That fall would have seriously hurt you, but I can take falls like that, no problem. Besides, you saved me from being bear food, so playing ‘cushion’ for you was a no-brainer.” It only sank in now that Pinkie had eaten falls like that before–mainly the time Iron Will tossed her off a cliff during Fluttershy’s…phase. All it did was make her mane wet from the mud she landed on. “Even so, you still saved me. There’s also how you pushed me away when I was frozen in place, or I might have been the one pinned by that first bear. But, we better not go into any more caves, just in case, and…” I clenched my fists. Shame over my bit of earlier cowardness drilled holes in my conscience. It should have me pushing Pinkie away from that first bear, not the other way around! “What?” “I can’t believe I wimped out and froze when that first bear charged, yet you didn’t freeze up and pushed me out of its path. I know I got it off you, but it still kinda–” She scowled and raised a hoof. “No, no, no, don’t think like that. You might not look at me as a big sister in the same way you do Twilight and Starlight, but I am older and know a thing or two about being a big sister. Therefore, if one of us should protect the other, it should be me protecting you–and don’t argue.” With Pinkie being Pinkie, it didn’t happen often, but she had the aura of a big sister when she said what she did. Thus my mouth refused to argue. Instead, I peeked into my backpack lying in the mud. Oh boy. It was wet inside, and the…shape of my water bottles gave a good hint of why. “Uh-oh. Despite how you softened my landing, that fall still broke two of my three bottles. The one that wasn’t broken was already fresh out of water.” Pinkie peeked into her pack lying by her. A gasp left her lips. “Uh-oh times two. My bottles are either broken or empty too.” “And if that wasn’t enough, I threw all of our food at those bears to try to get them off our tails, so we’re waterless and foodless.” Pinkie sighed, her ears sagging. “What do we do now? We’re only about an hour or two away from where the fruit should be, but I’m thirsty from being chased by bears and being your emergency pillow.” “I’m thirsty too, but I can get us more clean water at least.” “How?” I put back on my hat lying in the mud, stood to my feet, and put back on my backpack. “First, we gotta find a river or some other water source. I bought some steel, flint, and a little pot in my backpack just in case a jam like this happened.” Good thing I wasn’t too lazy to remember Dad’s lessons about the wilderness–not that he would have allowed it. The three pieces of wood I had collected appeared to be sufficiently dry, and the smaller, thinner twigs would make fine kindling. The little clearing in the jungle we were in at the moment was already making for a sweet brief camping spot. Maybe due to being out of practice, it was tougher than I expected to start a fire. But after a bunch of tries, I finally got one going. Lucky I had wrapped the flint in some old newspaper when it was in my backpack, so some of it managed not to get wet when my bottles broke. “I don’t get it,” Pinkie said as she leaned her head toward the boiling water. “Why are you going to boil the water? Doesn’t cold water taste better than boiling water?” I set a pot full of freshly scooped-up river water over the new fire. “I would prefer cold water, but boiling water from the wild for a few minutes makes it safer to drink. I wouldn’t be too surprised if you could drink it safely as it is, but I wouldn’t be so lucky.” “Oh, right.” Pinkie lightly smacked herself on her head, which screamed “silly me”, and giggled. “Maud told me about that once, so I’ll drink your boiled water too. Did Twilight or Applejack teach you about this? I bet they’d know this stuff.” “Neither. I learned from my dad during our fishing trips. He even taught me about using a hole in the ground as an emergency pot if you had no other options.” “That’s Abso-lutely-tooly-amazing. I bet he’d be proud of you, so I’ll be proud of you in his place.” She petted me on my head. Yep, that’s something a parent might do to their kid, though I don’t think Dad ever pettted my head. He did sometimes rub it when he was proud or just out of fatherly affection. “Thanks, but Dad knows a lot more about surviving in the wild than I do. Calling him a survival expert wouldn’t be inaccurate.” Memories of my trips in the woods with my dad when on our way to fish flooded my noggin. Father-son bonding he called our trips. I don’t remember the first time we went, but I remember that we usually went every two weeks and on occasion, he’d give a wilderness lesson, such as how to build fires. My two sisters still in my old world loathed fishing, so they never came with us. “But if he were here, he might get on my case over something I’m not doing quite right or should do better.” “Hmm. He sounds like my dad. He could be tough on me and my sisters when we were farming rocks and the very rare gem as fillies, but he did it out of love.” “Oh, speaking of gems, it’s a good thing Rarity isn’t out here with us. With how we lost most of our stuff, she’d probably scream ‘This is the worst possible thing!’” I grabbed my cheeks in grand drama queen/large ham fashion. “I’m doomed, darlings! Doomed, doomed, do-o-o-o-med!’” “Ha ha ha! That’s mean, but that sounds just like something she’d say!” “You like that, huh? Then how about this: ‘This is simply unacceptable! My hooves are dirty! A mare of class and beauty such as I cannot just drink water from the wild like some uncouth ruffian!" I threw myself to the ground. If only I had something I could use as a drama couch to jump on instead. "Too much more of this and I will be so-o-o-o do-o-o-o-med!’” Pinkie fell on her back as her laughing intensified. She looked adorable laughing so hard. “Stop! It’s too much! Ha ha ha! Making ponies laugh this hard is my job!” “All right, you ‘suffered’ enough. The 'Making Fun of Rarity Show' is over.” I picked myself off the ground and walked back to the pot of boiling water and looked it over. “After about another minute or two, the water should have boiled long enough to be safe.” “Did your dad also give you tips on what we could eat out here, in case I get hungry before we leave?” She rolled off her back and stood on her hooves. “There’s no fruit, berries, or flowers around that’s edible for me.” I tapped my chin. Of course Dad taught me about what’s edible in the wild, and some of it also existed in Equestria. Including one particular, drastic wilderness dining option that made me squirm when he first told me about it. “Well…he did tell me about one thing to eat that I could probably find right now. But, you’d probably faint if I told you what it is.” “What? Come on, come on, tell me, tell me! I can take it!” “Okay, but you asked for it. It’s fried worms, or at least fried earthworms.” Pinkie’s mouth dropped as her pupils shrank. Hilarious! “WHAAAAT?! Fried W-w-w-worms?! Did you ever eat any?!” “Dad did get me to try some once, but they’re really not that–” *thud!* Heh. I tried to warn her. While the fried worm-hater snoozed away, I poured the newly purified water into our surviving bottles and took a well-needed rest. Though, my rest was done while still awake. After Pinkie finally came too, we left the clearing and resumed the fruit hunt. From what she said before, the hunt was set to be nearing its end! Okay, maybe not. We had been hunting all over the area Pinkie said that fruit should be growing. Yet even after two hours, all we found were fruitless but rose-filled green bushes, trees that only grew leaves, and vines hanging from said trees. The heat bearing down was as relentless a bully as ever. My muscles and feet weren't exactly happy about the soreness plaguing them either. “Pinkie?” I wiped my head–it had called sweat to protect it again. “Are you sure we're looking in the right place? Maybe that fruit's in another part of the jungle.” She yanked out her book out of her mane and skimmed through it. “Uh…according to my book, this should be where the fruit is said to grow.” “Oh. Well, this jungle is big, so hopefully we just need to search a little longer, but it’ll be worth it once we find it. You said its spice can pump up the taste of any food, so have you ever used it before?” “Nope.” Pinkie pushed her book back into her mane. "I've never even seen it. All I know about it is from my fruit book. Now that I think of it, did I tell you the fruit might not exist but is just strongly believed to exist?” Author's Note
Chapter 3: Filling a big, sad, dumb holeWhat. Did. I. Hear? The sheer ludicrousness of Pinkie’s newest airheaded blunder froze me. Despite the heat swirling about, mud on my pants and shirt, and sweat from ‘da heat, my eyes could only focus on one thing: the partly mud-covered, fully painfully oblivious-prone earth pony standing before me. “What?! WHAT?!” “‘What?’ What?” Pinkie asked. She wasn’t the only one confused right now! “You mean to tell me that I walked through this stupid jungle for hours for a fruit you don’t even know exists?!Don’t you think that was important information?!” “Ohh…so I did forget to tell you.” “You think?! It’s bad enough you got my hopes up, but I nearly got killed by bears, sweated enough to fill a bath tub, put up with your yapping for–” “Hey!” She scowled and shoved a hoof in my chest. “I didn’t ‘yap’ that much, and I didn’t complain about you getting tired every hour or two, and even let you ride on my back! I wasn’t the one who called out the bears that chased us either!” I pushed her hoof off me. Then shoved a finger into her chest. “Yeah, and all for a fruit that might not exist! You just said it was extremely rare!” Pinkie smacked my hand away. “But I did say that everything the fruit does was said to be true–” “Oh no, don’t try to pull that exact words stuff again, Pinkie Pie! I trusted you, and this is what I get for it?! How can I trust you again?! What do you have to say for yourself?!” Her scowl wilted away. Her ears drooped–she should feel bad! “I…I…” “Well, out with it! It better be good! If you can make me laugh, this would be a good time to do it!” “I didn’t want you to feel sad, okay?!” Okay, that was a good reason. It dunked water over my flames of rage to not even a shimmer. The tears starting to flow from Pinkie’s eyes cut a hole in my chest. Think I went too far. “Oh.” “It breaks my heart to see my friends sad, and I didn’t forget how even my best party barely cheered you up after Twilight told you she couldn’t get you back to your world! I get it; I’m a bad friend you can’t trust and can’t make you happy! You don’t have to be a big meanie and rub it in!” Pinkie bolted off down a dirt trail, weeping and wailing the whole time. Yep, definitely went too far with the mare. “W-wait, Pinkie, don’t go! I’m sorry I yelled at you! Just come back!” My pleas only sped up her running. She jumped through some bushes and out of sight. Wonderful. Me and my very big mouth. If there was anything good about this, it was that she poured so many tears, she left a tear trail on the ground to go along with her hoofprints. That’d make it that much easier to find her and try the apology thing again. So much for this being Pinkie and Eric’s “bonding” jungle trip. *Sniff, whimper, sob* Took a couple of minutes, but I finally found Pinkie under a tree, sitting on her haunches with her head hanging down. Could see her bag lying beside her, but couldn’t see her eyes. Her tears raining from her face sure weren’t hard to see, but were hard to watch. “There you are. Pinkie–” “Leave me alone,” she said in a low, woeful, heart-cracking tone. “I’m a bad friend you can’t trust. You’re better off without me as a friend.” “Pinkie, I’m sorry. I was too mad to think straight, but I didn’t mean that you’re not trustworthy, and you do make me happy. Now that I think of it, this was all just a misunderstanding. It wasn’t like you just lied to me about that fruit; I just misread what you meant. That wasn’t your fault and doesn’t make you a bad friend.” Her head hung down further in silence. “Pinkie, please, just talk to me.” Not even a whimper. She turned away, and her unanswering back “faced” me. I blew a big, long sigh. So be it. “Fine. If you really want me to, I won’t be your friend anymore and will leave you alone. I’ll find a way out of this jungle by myself, so you don’t have to play guide. Just be careful leaving, okay? At least do that for me for our former friendship.” I turned and took slow, reluctant, lonely steps away. Really blew it this time and lost a good friend because I blew my top. Still, there was no time to mope or kick myself; there was still a massive jungle I somehow had to escape from, alone. If I went in one direction long enough, it should eventually take me out of it. Where to go from there was something I’d have to figure out when I reached that road. “Wait.” Not often did I spin to face the opposite way so fast. Pinkie was back on her hooves and walking toward me. She was still frowning, but her eyes had finally stopped leaking tears. “I take back what I said. I don’t want you to leave me alone or to stop being my friend. Even if I did, I couldn’t let you leave on your own and risk getting lost here forever. It’s just…I…” “What?” “I hate how you can’t go back to your old world and I can’t even try to do anything about it. I’m scared to even imagine how I would feel if I were trapped in another world and separated from my family and friends.” Pinkie sat on her haunches again. She mixed in circling a hoof on the ground as she added, “The closest I have to unicorn magic is my Pinkie Sense, but it can’t help. It can only predict some things such as something falling from the sky or beautiful rainbows.” “Oh...wow. I knew Starlight, Sunset, and especially Twilight felt bad that none of them could figure out a safe way to get me back, but I didn’t know you were hurting too. Do Spike, Rarity, or any of our other friends feel like this?” “Knowing them, probably.” She pawed the ground. Her eyes wilted even further. “I don’t think about it often, but when I do think about how I can't do anything for you, it feels like there is a big, sad, dumb hole in my chest. I didn’t want you to feel worse by worrying about me, so I never told you.” “Hmm. I think I get it now. Did that have anything to do with how you wanted to find that fruit for me so bad? You were awfully willing to come out here on your own.” She nodded. “You looked so sad that you couldn’t get your lasagna to be like your mom’s and missed her cooking, so I thought one of those fruits for your spice could help and make you smile. I’ll do anything to see my friends smile, laugh, and be happy.” I wrapped an arm around her back. “Then that already proves you’re not a bad friend. And another thing, even if you did tell me right away that fruit might not exist, I still would have wanted to look for it. I chewed you out for something I would have done anyway, so I was a, uh, big meanie to treat you like that.” After a groan, I thought, ‘I’m an idiot.’ “But even if we would have come anyway, I still feel bad that I forgot to tell you earlier it might not exist, so you wouldn’t be sad or disappointed if it didn’t.” She gently wrapped her forelegs around me; one of her less common normal strength hugs. “I’m so sorry I let you down.” I returned the hug. I admit her fur made our hug a bit cuddly, even if we both had a little dry mud on us from the great ledge jump earlier. “No, you didn’t let me down, especially now that I know your true feelings. I’m sorry for being out of line and making you cry. Plus, if you really want to help how I can’t go back to my old world, just being a friend who makes me smile will be enough. I do miss my mom’s lasagna, but I can still be happy if I never eat lasagna like hers again, especially if I have a friend and something of a big sister like you.” When I said “big sister”, Pinkie’s grip around me tightened just a tad. “You mean that?” “Yep! You said it wasn’t a big deal, but you still pushed me out of that big Bear of the Year's charge in that cave and then used your body as a cushion to save us from the running of the bears. So, thanks…big sis.” “Hehe, I said it was a ‘no brainer, little bro, but you saved me from being bear food. You’re fun to hung out with, and you’re not as uptight as Twilight and Applejack are about my, as they or even you might put it, ‘Pinkieness’.” “Heh heh, yeah. Twilight might have rubbed off on me a little, but not that much.” We let each other go. Prime opportunity for a surprise bloop! Of course I was gonna take it: I “blooped” her muzzle, and got an even cuter and happier giggle than usual out of her. But once we got back to Ponyville, I planned to look for Spike, Rarity, Rainbow, Fluttershy, and Applejack. Just in case any of them were hiding any hidden “big, sad, dumb holes” in their chests too that needed filling. ”But one thing that I admire about her is that the Princess of Determination doesn’t give up easily, so let’s follow her example. We could search for that fruit a little while longer before Celestia lowers the sun to search a little longer. That is, if you want to and aren’t hungry.” She grinned and set off her signature string of hops. “Abso-lutely-tooly! That is, not about being too hungry, but abso-lutely-tooly to keep fruit-hunting.” "Then let’s check places we haven’t been yet but could be growing one of those fruits! We have about another hour before it becomes too late.” Pinkie ran back to grab her backpack, then we went on our final fruit hunt. Yes! Just had to hope it wasn’t some jungle mirage from the heat. Before Pinkie and I was a thick green bush growing a cache of smooth, thin, and beautiful red fruits. I pointed to our elusive targets. "Are those the fruits you were talking about? I’m going to be the happiest human ever if you say 'yes'." She pulled out her fruit book from her mane and skimmed through it. She grinned, which made my own grin bigger. “Then prepare to be the happiest human ever, because these are it! They exist after all!” We both jumped up and down while cheering. Best jungle bonding trip ever! I nearly forgot to pick off and toss a couple of my prized fruits in my backpack. If they are only good for a few days after being picked, it wouldn’t make much sense to take more than a couple. A gasp from my new favorite earth pony (sorry Applejack) cut the cheering and hopping. She turned to face away from me and said in a chilling serious voice, “Eric? Don’t look back. Just get on the Pinkie Pie Express, now.” “Huh? Why?” Curiosity overrode Pinkie’s order and I looked behind me. My mouth dropped. No! Not that! Not a cragadile! The trees and vines partly obscured it, but I knew it was a cragadile! I'd recognize those bone-crushing jaws and teeth anywhere! My heart leapt into my throat and my stomach turned and filled with nausea. I jumped right on the Pinkie Pie Express. How I didn’t scream was a mini-miracle. “Run, hop, roll, whatever! Just get us out of here, ASAP!” Pinkie sprinted off and I closed my eyes. Just in case another of my nightmares might have been ahead or simply nearby, I just could not risk looking as long as we were in this jungle. “Okay, Eric, we’re out of the jungle. You can open your eyes now.” I cracked open my eyes–wasn’t the time to wonder how she knew they were closed. Yep, we were standing on a dirt road and just outside the “entrance” to that jungle. Better still, no cragadiles in sight! But those teeth from that cragadile in the jungle, and the idea that one was close again…oh man. Even if it didn’t seem to see me, it still fired off flashbacks in my noggin about being in that first cragadile’s sights in the Everfree Forest. The playback scene was too clear: that humongous monster moved in closer and closer, close enough to feel its breathing at its closest. Throwing in how it had intentions of tearing apart Sunset and me, crushing us inside its mouth, and finally eating us as prey…yeah, my stomach suffered a panic attack. If it wasn’t for Sunset using a desperation super-effective flash attack and me later pitching fastballs with rocks into its eyes to make it change its dinner plans, we would have been dead. And it was a good thing I got off Pinkie’s back before what food I had eaten earlier made a premature return. “You’re okay, Eric,” Pinkie cooed while she rubbed my back while I was busy heaving. “There aren’t any cragadiles nearby that can hurt you again.” *Buzzer ringing* Time’s up. With gloves over my hands, I opened the oven and pulled out my latest batch of lasagna AKA attempt #11. The sauce, cheese, strings of parsley, and bits of the new spice all waved a cascade of aromas seeping into the ‘ol nose. It didn’t smell just good, but nostalgic. Then again, that would have been a bit too convenient, so I bet it was just wishful thinking making the smell seem nostalgic. “So, is it ready, chef?” Pinkie asked with a puzzled frown. She wore a chef’s hat to match the one I wore in place of my usual hat ‘o' Cutie Marks. “Wouldn’t it be easier to cut a piece once your pan is on the table?” “Uh, sorry, Pinkie. I was in thoughts.” I carried the pan with attempt #11 to and on the kitchen table. “After we let it cool off a little, it’ll be the moment of truth.” “Nah, we don’t have to wait. I got this!” Pinkie pulled out a fan from her mane and let it blow over attempt #11. Well, that’s one way to cool off hot food. “Heh, okay so the moment of truth is now. Here we go. At the very least, you said attempt #10 was good, so I can make at least decent lasagna even without that 'short-lived' spice.” “That’s right!” Pinkie cheerfully patted me on the back. “That last lasagna you made was really good and I’m sure this will be even better. So even if this lasagna isn’t close to your mom’s, then make this your own recipe. I think she’d be happy to see you make lasagna like hers, but she would want you to make them your way. It was how she created her lasagna’s recipe, right?” “I think so. She was proud of how well she fine-tuned her lasagna, and I think it was why she made it her signature meal by keeping its full recipe a secret. But, I will do something different; no matter how great any of my food becomes, their recipes will not be kept secret, especially not from my friends. But enough of that; it’s taste time.” I sliced through the noodles, cheese, and parsley with a knife and cut out a small, square piece. Nerves forced my hands to shake a bit as I lifted the piece onto a plate beside the pan. I glanced at Pinkie, who wore a supportive smile. That smile emitted a deep, soothing feeling that hugged my nerves and calmed my hands. Of the small piece of lasagna I had cut out, I sliced off a smaller still piece and, slowly, raised it to my lips. Couldn’t keep dragging this out, so I bit into the piece to get it over with. Not bad. The smooth texture of the noodles and molten cheese surrendering its flavor as I chewed…yes, it got the taste buds dancing. The tomato sauce and parsley joined the flavor dance. But while it was my best lasagna yet, it still failed to be like Mom’s– Wait. Another flavor, maybe from the spice, shot through my mouth. Weird, it didn’t seem to have its own flavor, but it did excite the flavor of everything else – the cheese, sauce, parsley – and mixed it all into almost a single, cheese/sauce/parsley flavor explosion. That dancing of my taste buds roared into a dance party. As I kept chewing and finally swallowed, tears ran down my face. Oh, and a big smile joined the fun as well. This. This! While it wasn’t quite 100% like Mom’s, this was how her lasagna tasted! NO idea how that spice did the trick, but it did! “Yes! Yes! Yes!” Pinkie cheered while she bore a big ‘ol smile of her own. “That’s the smile I wanted to–” I snatched Pinkie into my arms. I leaned down a little to get a good grip, then picked her up by her torso and swung her around in circles! Despite being around my height, most Equestrian mares are surprisingly light and weigh about as much as an average-sized woman, who I was more than strong enough to lift. Especially when I was this happy! “Yes, we did it! This is just like my Mom’s lasagna! I couldn’t have done this without you! Thank you so much, Pinkie Pie! I love you!” “I love you too, but can you put me down now? I didn’t prepare myself to spin, so I’m getting sick!” I set her down on the spot. Her eyes were literally spinning. “Oops, s-sorry.” She shook her head to calm her eyes, then smirked. What was she up to this time? “You should be s-sorry, because while your spinning was good, your hug on me was waaaaay too weak.” She spread out her forelegs, wide. "This is how you hug me!” “Wait, no no, don’t–” Two pink, crushing forelegs swallowed and squeezed down on my poor back, sucking a breath from my lungs. Arms were pinned in ‘em forelegs too, so moving sure wasn’t an option. “See? When you hug a Pinkie Pie, you hug her TIGHTLY!” “Okay, lesson learned! Let me go! Your forelegs are stronger than a Cragadile's jaws!” “Not yet, Silly Eric! To make sure you learn your lesson, I’m going to hug you a little longer.” “Then tell you what: if you end your lesson early, I’ll finally try to sing as a thank you for helping me. Not joking this time.” *Deep inhale of shock* Never before had forelegs – or anything for that matter – unwrapped themselves off me so fast. Author's Note Prepare for plates to break from Eric's singing.
