Author's Note
So, happy holidays!
For this year, I had a request for a Derpy and Doctor Whooves request with comedy. Considering I never wrote any of these before...
It was a bit of a challenge! In the end, I tried to go for a comedic slice-of-life type of fic for it.
Hopefully it still fulfills your holiday wishes this year.
The Only Chapter
"Oh, Doc! Happy holidays!"
Normally, Time Turner, better known as 'Doc' to many of Ponyville's residents, at this point of the day would find himself holed up in his laboratory instead of out about.
Especially in the winter season.
But who could resist the need for some hot chocolate.
Certainly not the stallion with four out of five cups emptied next to him.
"Miss Hooves!" He smiled at her, giving a wave with one hoof. "I do hope the present delivery isn't causing you too much stress to you."
"I thought I told you to just call me Derpy. You don't need to be so formal," Derpy said with a giggle as she alighted to the ground, folding her wings to her side as she did so. On her head rested her signature brown mail cap, alongside her uniform. On her back, bulging with its contents, was her saddlebag to match.
"I will when you stop calling me Doc," he said in response, causing the pegasus's face to puff up slightly in mock indignation. The both of them knew that wasn't happening.
"Hmph," Derpy said, cheeks still puffed up... before she smiled. "Well, as for deliveries, everything is going smoothly and on schedule!"
"That's good." He had seen some of the mail carriers with their... very large loads of packages and cards. "Are you looking forward to your holiday break?"
"Yep!" She said, bobbing her head. "This year, no traveling to see my parents. I plan to stay here and just enjoy the holiday here."
Doc nodded along, slowly agreeing before pausing. Well... hrm. That did give a chance to ask something that had been on his mind for a bit, didn't it?
"Does that mean you'll be available to have dinner together for Hearth's Warming Eve?" He took a sip from his cup, relishing in the warmth from the steaming drink before continuing. "I don't quite have any family in Ponyville, as per tradition." He paused before blinking, realizing how it may come off. "I hope that isn't too forward or too late notice. I just... hadn't thought of it until recent."
Her ears perked at the request, eyes widening. "Oh Doc, I'd love to!" Derpy said, grinning, though her expression dimmed a second later. "I don't think I can though."
He gave an understanding nod, "Plans made already?" he asked.
"Kind of... I'm just busy on Hearth's Warming Eve." She averted her good eye, before taking off again. "I'll talk to you another time, Doc. Gotta make these last minute deliveries while I'm on the clock."
Before he could respond, with a few flaps his wall-eyed friend was gone, leaving him tilting his head.
That was... peculiar. Derpy never was one of those particular to being on time for everything. In fact, she was often times seen spending time talking to those she delivered mail to.
"Peculiar indeed," he muttered, using one hoof to stroke the bottom of his muzzle in contemplation.
Something was ahoof with his dear friend. And he intended to find out what.
"What, Derpy? Oh, she's never available during Hearth's Warming Eve..."
"... The ditzy mail carrier?"
"Trust me. Better to just not worry about it and spend time another day."
All the answers Doc had gotten so far had been half-baked, or only sort-of-helpful. But he knew one person he could reliably come to on the matter of Derpy Hooves: Carrot Top.
Today, the farmer was already wrapping up her stand
"Didn't you know?" Carrot Top had looked atDoc with a raised eyebrow as she carefully started to put anything she didn't sell into her cart.
"I've never attempted to spend Hearth's Warming with her before. I tend to be more of an..."
"Shut-in?" Carrot Top offered with a smirk, eliciting a small frown from Doc.
"I was going to say introvert." He pouted slightly, hoofing at the ground slightly. "But yes, I just thought... it would be a good change of pace to spend the holidays with somepony else for a change."
"Well, you're not gonna have it happen for tomorrow evening at least. Derpy is always busy for Hearth's Warming eve." Hitching the cart on her back, she broke into a trot, forcing Doc to quickly catch up and walk next to her.
"So I've heard," Doc gave a slow nod.
"I've tried it a few years back. The thing is? She's busy, Doc. She's got a thing where she is always making last minute deliveries."
"She does... what?" He tilted his head. "Isn't her last day supposed to be today?"
"It's supposed to be. It never is. And it's not just all day either - it's all night as well. Just... you'll see tomorrow. I gotta get ready for Hearth's Warming with the family myself. See you later."
And with that, she was gone. Frowning, Doctor slowly stared at where she had been. "... Sounds like I need to investigate," he muttered, unsatisfied by the answer he was given.
It was also not in good practice to spy on one's friends.
Or at least, that is what he had heard. And not researched. Sincerely.
Still, sometimes steps were taken to find out the truth! And in Celestia's name, he would.
Or Luna's. Whoever would appreciate his spying more.
A disguise was needed. The perfect disguise, in-fact.
And what else would be better for his needs than a new bowtie, a mask so horrific so no pony would dare look, and a coat to boot?
It was brilliant!
But that wasn't the only thing he was going to need.
He had done a tad bit of research last night.
Well, really stayed up half the night. After all, who needed sleep when they had work to do, things to invent - or specifically in his scenario last night - a case to solve?
... Most ponies, actually. Including him, gathering he only woke up near eleven with a total of three hours of sleep to his name.
Still! It was worth it. Not only he had gotten confirmation that all mail offices closed early on Hearth's Warming eve - they also stopped doing deliveries by noon. On top of that - going by records he may or may not illegally have, Derpy hadn't worked on Hearth's Warming Day officially for the past few years. If even a fraction of what Carrot Top said was true...
Were they taking advantage of her? Making her work by using the kindness in her heart?
There was only one way to find out. And it was by a stake-out.
Specifically, one that started with his top-notch disguise at the striking of the clock at... noon.
Sure, it may not be the most dignified position to be in hiding in a bush, but with his coat, his mask, and his striking new bow tie - Doc had never been surer of anything.
Two hours.
It had taken two hours of waiting and watching for his fight sighting of his dear friend.
His hooves had fell asleep upon him, and he had nearly given up - until he heard bells. Poking his head subtly out of the bush - and not nearly falling out of it, he'd have you know - he saw two things.
His friend, without her work uniform, but instead with a warm winter scarf wrapped around her neck... and a cart, decorated to look like a sleigh, with bells strung on it and all.
Quite a sight- though what was more remarkable was the amount of presents and bags of letters. More than enough for most of Ponyville, really.
He frowned, carefully squinting at each package. Very unlike the post office's packages, they were all colorful. Definitely individually wrapped.
That was a strike against the post office theory. "... Unless that was how they helped hide the fact of these secret deliveries!" Doc muttered, as he watched his dear friend move with speed and swiftness to each house.
It was a long, long process. Going towards each house. Always seemingly when no one was home and ready to take their package in.
A checking of the package, a letter - and both slipped out onto the porch of each house stopped at.
And him behind her. Bush, to house, to mailbox, to bush. Always very well hidden. He would make Pinkie Pie proud at this rate, he was sure. Alas, he could not say the same about Rarity with how dirty his coat was becoming.
But he couldn't stop now! He had to keep going. [And ignore whatever strange looks he got. There was no time to dwell on that. As long as Derpy hadn't seen him, then was still succeeding in his mission].
So far, he had moved his guess to charity. The post office was seeming less likely by the minute, though he supposed he couldn't confirm or deny until he could confront Derpy directly - which he intended to do once she was done. He wouldn't get a confirmation on that until then.
Charity would match the gifts being wrapped. But it wouldn't match them being given out all around town, and to even houses such as Mr Rich's mansion. No, no, with that in mind, it couldn't be charity. Not unless he
So what was it?
His eyes drifted to the sleigh.
In his research last night... he had come across the tale. A tale of three spirits of Hearth's Warming Eve - past, present and future - that gave gifts out to those who believed. That they pulled a sleigh behind them, with jingling bells.
Remarkably similar enough to the one Derpy was pulling, actually.
He had dismissed the tale, while reading it. After all, it was a tale that was simply impossible. There were far too many towns for three reindeer spirits to do so all alone.
But...
If they had helpers...
For a moment, he stared at Derpy- who was currently struggling to find a certain letter in the bag, her tail sticking out and swishing behind her as she dug in head first.
... There was not a more perfect mare to fit the job, was there?
It kept on and on. He told himself he would only come out after she was finished. After he was done in total, and they could talk about it calmly over dinner.
But by the time they had gotten to the last present, Doc could barely contain himself. He had gotten wet from snow. His coat was a mess. Most hadn't been too horrified from his mask, to the disappointment of his hypothesis. And he had only barely protected his new bowtie from the onslaught of it all.
And so, it was far beyond the limit he was willing to go.
"Miss Hooves! I know your secret!" He said, jumping out in front of her cart, hoof pointed in a rather striking position, if he did say so himself.
"... Doc?" The mare blinked at the stallion, tilting her head to the side as she did, having just unclasped herself from her sleigh. "What are you doing out at this hour?"
"Following you, Miss Hooves. But that is not the question one should be asking. The question all should be asking is what are you doing out at this hour?"
Slowly, Derpy turned towards her nearly emptied cart before looking back at him, head tilting even further. "Isn't it obvious?"
"Yes!" He bobbed his head up and down, grinning. "As I observed you today, I theorized over the why of it all. Three theories came to mind. "But after thinking it all through... I have DEDUCED THE TRUTH!"
The head was tilted almost 180 now.
"You, Miss Hooves... it is obvious, from your reins to your sleigh, to the way you seem to know exactly when to drop off the presents that you have been working with the magical entities known as three Spirits of Hearth's Warming!"
For a moment, Derpy's mouth opened in an expression of surprise as she stared at him, silence reigning over the air after his statement.
It was only broken by the sound of a giggle. "Wait... you thought..." The giggle turned into multiple as Derpy sat on the ground, unable to contain the tirade of laughter.
That... made him stop, as he slowly lowered a hoof. "Ms. Hooves...?"
"I'm not... you got it wrong..." Giggle snorts came from the mare as she brought a hoof up to her mouth to try to restrain more from coming out.
"So... you aren't working for three magical holiday reindeer working with forces unknown to most mortals?"
"Nope!" Derpy said, her voice full of cheerfulness, as she slowly got to her hooves, still working out a few giggles in her system.
Okay. Maybe that had been a bit out there as a theory. Still, even as he deflated slightly he decided to go on to the next likely answer. "... And you aren't being overworked by the post office for last minute deliveries?"
"Nope," she repeated, as she carefully picked up a carefully wrapped package with her teeth, letter balanced on top and left it at the door - finally leaving her wagon empty.
Even as she did, he deflated even more. "... Not even for over time?"
"Not for tonight," Derpy clarified as walked back to her reins, carefully putting them on again. "I mean, overtime on Hearth's Warming Eve? I love my job, but not that much."
"... Charity?" One last, desperate guess.
Another laugh in response. "Not really, no."
"... Then why in Luna's name are you still out tonight delivering things, Ms. Hooves, if the post office isn't making you illegally work, or you've been working with spirits, or even not doing charity work?" Out of clear options - well, might as well let the mare answer herself.
"What...?" For a moment, she looked between him and her cart, brows furrowing as she seemed to think - before realization dawned on her face. "Ohhhh. I can see the confusion. That's all my presents." With a flick of her wing, she indicated for him to get in the wagon cart.
He blinked once at her. Then twice, before he moved to get in the empty cart, carefully seating himself so he could dangle his front legs over the front. "... Beg your pardon? All your presents?"
"Yup!" With that reply, Derpy started forward, starting to pull the wagon once more. "Well, not my presents. But all the gifts I got for my friends were delivered!"
"But..." That was too simple an answer! There had to be more to it than that. "How'd you know when to leave each one? Why the sleigh-like cart? Why didn't you get them delivered by the post office yourself, or do so earlier? The night before Hearth's Warming is hardly the warmest night or the best time to do it." His eyes wandered to the scarf tied around her neck.
"Oh, those are easy answers. First - I've got a bit of help from Pinkie Pie from that as well as having done this each year. Makes it easier if it is a complete surprise and I don't have to stop and talk given how long it takes after work. Second, I liked the Hearth's Warming stories about them so much I wanted yo get into the spirit of things." Her smile became a bit smaller for a moment. "And third... because I don't have the bits to spend on postage - and well, I already know all the routes in Ponyville. Easier to get it done myself. As for why tonight..." She shrugged as she turned a corner, pulling the make-shift cart-sleigh behind her. "Just how it shakes out every year. Too busy delivering every other creature's mail and presents beforehand, and by the time I get the time..."
"It's already Hearth's Warming Eve," Doc breathed out, eyes widening in understanding. It really had been that simple all along after all. "... Well, that is a rubbish way to spend a holiday."
"Maybe. But I get to know that all my friends will be waking up to one last surprise gift and... that makes it all worth it." A grin was set firmly on her face as she pulled to a stop, before starting to unstrap herself from the cart once again.
Doc whirled his head around before realizing she had stopped in front of her own place. "If you say so, Miss Derpy." It wasn't something he could imagine himself doing. No, no, the idea of being a bringer of gifts from magical reindeer sounded much more entertaining.
But it wasn't him. It was Derpy. And it fit her kind heart perfectly. Still, he frowned a bit tilting his head. "But... when I asked about dinner yesterday, you seemed so down about it all."
"Well..." She gave a small cough behind her hoof, before gesturing at the sky. "It isn't exactly a typical dinner time."
"Hm?" For a moment, he glanced about - blinking at the night sky. He hadn't even taken notice of the darkening sky in his pursuit of the truth. Quickly, he lifted his left forehoof to glance at his watch.
Midnight.
"... Ah. I can see why dinner would be a problem then," he muttered as he removed himself from the cart, jumping down into the snow laid ground.
She gave a solemn nod at that, as she hitched the cart to a post. "I've had other friends that I would promise to have dinner with, and they all presumed it would be early..."
Her ears flattened against her head for a moment, her eyes staring at the cold icy ground. "It never worked out. Most uh, don't wanna spend the time waiting or with me pulling a cart around. And dinner after midnight is not exactly the time that most ponies want to eat..."
"... Well Miss Derpy. You should know by now that I am not one who doesn't mind staying up late. After all, science never sleeps!" Ignore the fact that his lack of sleep probaby made him jump to the misunderstanding in the first place.
"Well, if you're sure..." She went to her door, before pausing and looking back at him. "... You called me Ms. Derpy." She blinked, cocking her head. "So do you want me to call you Mr Turner now...?"
"No, no," he said with a chuckle. "I think I've grown quite fond of 'Doc' by now."
"... Then Happy Hearth's Warming Eve, Doc. I'll see if I can get us some muffins going!" With that, the door was opened, as Doc followed with a grin.
It was going to be a nice Hearth's Warming night between friends.
