Bothersome, Bothersome, Gifts
“Gifts. Ugh, Gifts,” Discord pouted, pacing back and forth on his bed, both claw and paw behind his back, stroking his beard with a magical third hand.
Oh, those bothersome things that shouldn’t be bothersome but somehow were.
Discord paused in his steps, thinking aloud.
“I never used to care about such trivial things, but ever since I met Fluttershy, suddenly not only do I care, but now I can’t stop thinking about it!”
It’d been five years since he started paying attention to those silly equine traditions. He’d always known about Hearth’s Warming and... the others... Drawing a blank was not becoming of a lord of chaos, but who could blame him when most were hardly memorable and mostly just marketable. Boring. Predictable.
“So bothersome, yet so intriguing. How annoying…” Discord griped and groused.
Hearth’s Warming, much to his surprise, was different. At first, it wasn’t a pleasant surprise, admittedly. Gift giving and merry making? Gag! But, perhaps, he was slowly warming up to the idea. It helped when you had... friends.
He may yet be open to the idea of trying out some of the other holidays, maybe. Anything was possible with Fluttershy. Funny that–before meeting her–anything was possible, literally. Now anything felt possible despite being limited by what he could do, yet it felt so freeing...
Was friendship a curse or a blessing, then? He still didn’t have the answer, nor did he know if it really mattered so long as he had fun, but did that matter either if even the times he didn’t have fun he still enjoyed being in the company of Fluttershy?
They say time flies by when you’re having fun, perhaps that’s infinitely more true for an immortal being. Where was the fun in that? Time, pfff… Still, he thanked his friend for the yearly calendar she gave him.
“Goooooood morning Chaosville! Or is it afternoon? Evening? Oh, doesn't matter! It's somewhere in the neighborhood of time, or is it sometime—”
“Yes, yes…” Discord grumbled. He stretched and tapped the upside down radio, causing it to rotate freely through the air.
Hesitantly, he leapt out of bed, only to find that he, too, was floating. “Oh, right. Gravity,” he mumbled, snapping a claw to allow everything to come crashing down, except himself, of course. Having a parachute for such occasions came in handy.
As he landed, he noted the mess and shrugged, deciding it hardly mattered at the moment. He tossed his chute into the nearby chute that led to anytime and/or anywhere—he hadn’t decided yet—and grabbed the nearby calendar, the only object properly hung, because he hadn’t done it, his friend had.
A singular date was circled. Time was up.
Show time.
“Fluttershy, you really didn’t need to do all of this, you know. I—we,” Rarity clicked her tongue, correcting herself before continuing, “—would have been more than happy to help with the arrangements, dear,” Rarity said, noting with concern the faint trace of bags under her friend's eyes that she’d clearly tried to cover up.
“Oh, I know you would have... but I wanted to do this,” she said, carefully placing the tea set, as well as a few cups of cocoa, from her back, onto the table using her wings. “It really is no different from the tea get-togethers Discord and I have. Just a few more things to prepare is all.” Fluttershy smiled sheepishly as Rarity looked unconvinced before settling with a smile of her own.
“In any case, dear–” She gave Fluttershy a wan smile. “–thank you,” Rarity said, letting the matter slide.
“Yeah, thanks ‘shy!” Rainbow Dash quickly snatched a cup of cocoa before zipping back to her seat.
Fluttershy shook her head as she settled. She was reaching out to grab the tea pot, only for it to be taken away with a gentle blue hue.
“Ah, ah, ah~ You’re in dire need of a break, darling. Please, allow me,” Rarity stated, prepared to go to war if her friend disagreed, but Fluttershy didn’t put up a fuss, and instead sank into the cushion of her seat.
Fluttershy said her thanks as she took the tea on the saucer from her friend.
Rarity took a sip of her own and glanced around. “Does anyone know when— ah, right on time,” Rarity noted, a knock coming from the door.
“I got it!” Spike said, already dashing to answer.
“Thank you, dear,” Rarity cooed as she took another sip.
Turning the knob, Spike opened the door. “Hey, Applejack.”
“Howdy, Spike,” Applejack replied, stomping and sliding her hooves on the ground outside the door to shake loose frozen mush.
“Annnnd, that’s every—Oh, hey, isn’t Discord coming?” Spike directed his question towards Fluttershy, whose wings twitched.
“Oh, yes... He should be here shortly.”
“He does tend to be... dramatic with his entrances,” Rarity shrugged.
“Yeah, he’ll probably just pop out of Applejack’s hat,” Rainbow Dash snickered.
Applejack paused as she stepped in, just catching what was said. She immediately swiped the beanie off head to check inside. “...Better not...” she grumbled, hesitant to put it back on, before deciding it was too comfortable to stow on the hanger. She mumbled a few curses as she glanced at Rarity who blinked in bewilderment.
With Applejack in, Spike closed the door, only to turn back in confusion when what sounded like another knock came.
“Uh, are we expecting more?” Spike asked the others, who looked as lost as he.
Hesitantly, he turned the knob again and slowly opened it—
“Surprise! Hello, my little ponies, and hello, Garbunkle. Oh, how good it is to see you all,” he cheered as he stumbled in, his body obscured by the pile of gifts he brought.
“Huh. Discord coming through the front door. That’s... new?” Rainbow Dash furrowed her brows as she glanced at Applejack, who sighed in relief.
“Hey there, Captain Wuzz. Need a hand with those?” Spike asked as he shut the door.
“Oh, you are too kind, but there’s no need~” Discord sang, extending a claw and passing each of them one, somehow, all at once.
Fluttershy beamed, accepting hers without hesitation. Rainbow Dash chugged the rest of her cocoa before taking hers. Applejack said her thanks, taking hers next after a moment’s pause. Rarity inspected the wrapping paper, entranced by its otherworldly glow before taking hers and Spike...
“Awesome! Thanks, Discord,” Spike said, staring at the figurine of his Ogres & Oubliettes character. He furrowed his brows as he further inspected it. “...Huh, I don’t remember telling you that I got the ring of infinite possibilities when you weren’t there last week...”
“You didn’t,” Discord replied with a shrug and a toothy grin.
“Uh, wow. Sweet, thanks,” Spike said, amazed and not sure what to think.
“Alright, me next!” Rainbow Dash called, tearing in before receiving any response.
Discord settled beside Fluttershy. Wrapping an arm around her, he drew her close. Leaning into him, Fluttershy nestled her head against his chest, exhaling a contented sigh as her body relaxed into his embrace.
It wasn’t long before the tearing stopped, a silence settling over them for a moment before Rainbow Dash broke the silence.
“Uh...” is all Rainbow Dash could mutter as she stared into the empty box. She flapped into the air and shook it upside down. A single strip of paper descended. Rainbow Dash tossed the box aside, causing Applejack to duck.
“Hey! Watch it, Dash, ya featherbrain...” she murmured, clutching her gift tight as it almost fell out of her hooves.
Ignoring her, Rainbow Dash strained her neck to look at the empty air. There was nothing. “Is this a prank?” she asked in confusion. “’Cause I don’t get it...”
“Exactly,” Discord said with a snicker, which turned into a guffaw as he took in her deadpan stare.
“Discord...” Fluttershy warned, pushing a hoof into his chest to pry herself away so she could look him directly in the eyes.
“Oh, fine. It’s there,” he pointed down. “Or, well, at least the idea of it is,” he waved a claw.
Rainbow Dash landed and inspected the floor closely, finally noting the strip of paper that had slid partially underneath the couch. She slid it out and flipped it over to read: “...Tomorrow...? What about tomorrow?”
“Oh, hey! That’s when Twilight and Pinkie get back from Yakyakistan!” called Spike, wincing as he dropped his gift.
“Hey, watch it!” came a voice from the floor.
“Sorry,” Spike replied, picking it back up before doing a double take. He inspected it once more, only to find it was exactly as he’d gotten it... “What the heck...” he muttered, spinning it around to check every part.
“...Okay, what does them coming back have to do with my gift?” Rainbow asked, looking Discord up and down, her eyes slowly squinting.
“Mmm, couldn’t tell you,” he replied as he stared into the ceiling. He crossed a leg over the other, one kicking up lazily. “But that does remind me!” He got up, reached into his red holiday hat that he certainly wasn’t wearing before, and pulled out a notepad.
He squinted at the notes as he donned a pair of reading glasses. “Twilight’s coming by my place to pick up hers tomorrow, and Pinkie should receive hers when she’s home,” he stated with a nod, incinerating the notepad and dropping his glasses into the temporary void that opened up on the floor.
“Against my better judgment, and since there’s no point in strangeling you, I have to ask... What did you get them, exactly? Also... what the heck does this have to do with my gift!?” Rainbow Dash threw her hooves into the air in exasperation.
“And why does Twilight need to come by your place to get hers?” Rarity chimed in, now curious as she set her gift she hadn’t opened aside.
“Oh, she’s just going to want some answers, and I figured I’d have it all wrapped up neatly in a bow for when she does,” he replied, taking a seat next to Fluttershy once more, who was staring at him with her head tilted.
“As for Pinkie, well~” He stroked his beard in bemusement, and to build tension. “I did some digging and I came across a recipe that’s simply irresistible! Apparently, even the harshest of critics can’t resist it.”
“What kind of recipe?” Applejack asked, propping herself up and sitting up tight as she, too, set her unopened package aside next to Rarity’s.
“Oh... Just something of the pie variety,” he added with an innocent smile.
Rainbow Dash gulped. “Uh, pie, huh?” she asked with a forced grin. “That’s... neat?” She squirmed in her seat, suddenly feeling itchy.
“Quite! I’m sure Pinkie is going to be baking up a storm upon her arrival, but who’s to say?” he said as he coiled around Fluttershy, head in paw, his digits tapping away.
“Uh... ya know what...? I suddenly don’t care about my gift anymore... You can keep it, it’s cool...” Rainbow glanced outside as she scratched a leg. “I’ll take a strip of paper as a gift any day of the year, heh...” She blinked, a bead of sweat forming on her brow.
“Oh, your gift! Well, why didn’t you just say? Here.” He blew into the palm of his lion paw, debris flew whimsically from it, before manifesting and becoming whole below where Rainbow sat.
Hesitantly, Rainbow picked it up. She glanced at everyone who gave her unsure looks, bar Discord, who nodded his head with great enthusiasm, it almost falling off his neck. She was still unsure until she saw Fluttershy give her a smile and a small nod of her own. Against her better judgment, she resigned, but not before she shook the gift for good measure. Upon hearing a rattle, she took her chances and opened it.
Half expecting another strip of paper, she blinked upon gazing at the actual gift, it being rectangular in shape and violet in color. Plastic obscured its face, making it hard to tell. “Uh,” Rainbow Dash started, lifting it out of the box. She flipped it over, making out a title cover, but not being able to read it. “A book? Thanks, I guess?” she asked, looking up to see Discord’s eyes rolling on the floor.
“Well, open it so you can judge it by its cover,” he stated simply, picking them back up and popping them in.
“Sure...” She shrugged, as she quickly sank her teeth into the plastic and yanked, wanting to get it over with, but when he looked back down, her jaw dropped. She flew into the air and shrieked, “FIRST EDITION DARING DO AND THE SAPPHIRE STATUE!? WHAAAAAAT!?” She turned it from all angles, opened it, sniffed it even, and with nothing seeming off she dropped back down and danced, her hooves tapping on the ground, “Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh—”
“You’re welc—” Discord’s eyes bulged out of his head as he felt the weight of a bulldozer crush his neck. “—ome,” he wheezed, prying himself apart to breathe, as if he really needed to.
“Wha—when—How!? How did you get this!?” Rainbow Dash brought the book up and placed a hoof over its cover. “There’s only a hundred in existence and—” she screamed as she flipped a page. “IT’S SIGNED!?”
“Oh, let’s just say she owed me a little compensation for using my likeness in one of her stories, so I struck a little deal with her and that was the result.” He coughed, faintly blushing when he noticed Fluttershy was beaming at him.
“Thankyouthankyouthankyou. This. Is. AWESOME!” She sat back down and flipped a page, as if already enthralled and deep into the story.
Discord looked around, noticing the surprised stares he was receiving from a majority of the others. “Well? Go on, someone open theirs next,” he waved, not sure how to feel about the sort of attention he was receiving. It was too... bubbly.
“Very well. I suppose I shall open mine next?” Rarity asked, already hovering hers onto the table before receiving an answer. “Good choice of decor, darling. The reds really flow nicel–” she paused, blushing as she heard a cough coming from her right. Applejack raised a brow at her. “Yes,” she laughed. “Very nice indeed.” Still, she carefully unraveled the gift and neatly folded the wrapping on the side.
Opened, she peered inside, brows furrowed as she saw it. Delicately, she pulled it out and inspected it. “Ah, rainbow thread? Very thoughtful, dear. One can never have too many~” she sang, placing it to the side with a smile. “Thank you.”
“Think nothing of it, although I’m certain you will be thinking of it quite often when it's needed most,” he said with a wink.
Rarity looked thoughtful for a moment, peering down at the thread. “I must say, it looks awfully familiar, but I can’t place my hoof on why...” She lifted it once more to inspect it closely and as she did, the light shining from the outside pierced into it, causing it to gleam in radiance.“ Her eyes widened in realization and she gasped. ”This is... this is the same thread Coco Pommel had given me! But how? It was turned into a key and taken by the tree of harmony!“ She turned to face Discord, who was whistling innocently as he rubbed his chest with his knuckles.
“Oh, really? Now wouldn’t that be quite something?” he grinned. He teleported out of his seat, but not before replacing himself with a giant plushie of himself for Fluttershy to fall into as he reappeared before Rarity. He took the thread and turned it with fascination, holding a comically large magnifying glass. “Hmm, I’m not sure I see the resemblance, but if you insist, I suppose I could accept that being the case.” He smirked as he placed it back. “Imagine, harmony working with one such as I? Quite a stretch, but I’m sure you’ll keep it close by in times of need... or perhaps it’ll keep itself close by... who’s to say!” He teleported back to his spot, the plushie exploding into confetti. Fluttershy, who’d wrapped her hooves around the object, growled as she snuggled even harder when the real thing appeared.
Rarity gaped at him. Applejack reached out and closed her mouth. She apologized and thanked her before shaking her head. “Thank you, I’m not sure what else to say...” she said, her lip quivering slightly, before carefully placing it back into the box.
Eyes turned to Applejack after a short pause, her not noticing for a moment, lost in thought. “Huh? Oh. Alrighty, then. Guess Ah take that to mean Ah’m next?” Already knowing the answer, she grabbed hers, not sure what to think at this point. Would it be a prank? Would it be genuine? Her head was spinning. Nevertheless, she tore it open and flipped it over, letting it fall into her lap. Seeing what it was, she tossed the box aside, wincing in embarrassment as she almost hit an oblivious Rainbow Dash and stared down.
“Oh, uh...” She picked it up and inspected it before placing it on her head. “A stetson, huh? Well, thank ya kindly, Discord. It’s a good fit and I could always use more.” She nodded before placing it back on her lap.
Discord smiled, head in paw. “Indeed, I had to do a bit of research as it wasn’t exactly hard to make a replica of the original, but I still needed to check dimensions to ensure I got it right.”
Applejack furrowed her brows at that. She fiddled with the hat for a moment as she stared at it closely, not sure what to make of that before asking, “What do you mean by... original, exactly?” She looked up to see his features fall slightly.
“Exactly what it sounds like. I understand you keep a bunch in a closet somewhere in that home of yours, but I think you’ll find this one to be, uhm, the perfect match. Again, it wasn’t too hard to replicate, however I’m only allowed to observe the past, not tamper with it, so I did my best to recreate the original.” He shrugged.
Applejack took in his words as she continued to inspect it, “Original...” she muttered, “Well, Ah’m still not really sure what ya by that, but thank ya anywa—” She froze, her eyes growing to the size of dinner plates as she stared into the lining inside the hat. She dropped it.
“Ah!” Applejack sputtered, delicately picking it back up to double check if she’d seen what she thought she saw correctly. The initials: ‘B.M.’ still there. She tried to speak once more, biting her lip, struggling to keep her composure.
“What is it, darling?” Rarity asked, concerned as she stepped up next to her to place a hoof on her shoulder. She peered over to see what her friend was seeing and she mouthed ‘B.M.’ thoughtfully, before gasping. “You didn’t...” Rarity said, turning to face Discord in shock, who had a hard time looking their way, but he gave a nod as an affirmation.“
Fluttershy looked back and forth between them, curious and concerned. She stared into his eyes, looking for answers, but it wasn’t long before she got it.
“Thank you... Thank you so–” Applejack choked. “But Ah can’t wear this...”
“Why ever not?” Discord asked, finally turning to face her.
“’Cause it’s mah Pa’s, and Ah can’t jus’ wear this while Ah work.” Applejack sniffled, eyes watering. “Don’t want to ruin it.” She shook her head, carefully placing it back down.
Fluttershy gasped, and even Rainbow Dash paused, ears perked, jaw agape as she finally tuned back in.
“Oh, is that all? Well, funny you should say that because—” he snapped his claw, a bright glow engulfing the hat. And as quickly as it appeared, so too did the hat disappear into ashes.
Everyone stared, slack jawed, and before anyone could utter a word, the same glow reappeared, this time starting as a small spark, before turning into a roaring flame, the hat whole once more. Perfect. “—you can’t,” Discord finished, satisfied as he nodded to himself.
Applejack, suffering from whiplash, blinked. Her friends' feelings were not far off from what she was feeling. She inspected it once more. Not a trace of ash, or any signs of damage, was present. It was exactly how it was when she’d first opened the gift. Hesitantly, she placed it on her head and turned to give him a sad smile. “Thank you.” she tipped her new hat to the lord of chaos.
Fluttershy, who was tense until that moment, relaxed, melting once more into Discord’s embrace.
“You’re welcome,” Discord replied, staring down at the bundle of yay clutching him tightly. He bent down to whisper into Fluttershy’s ear, “I suppose that just leaves you now.” He gave her ear a little tug, eliciting a squeak. “Come now, there’s something I’d like to show you.”
Fluttershy blinked in surprise as he got up, stretching and getting off the couch in pursuit as he headed towards the door. The others stared as Discord helped her with her purple scarf and beanie, before turning to one another, unable to form words as the door closed.
“Best Hearth’s Warming, ever!” Rainbow Dash broke the silence, her beaming smile infectious as the others voiced similar sentiments.
“Ah, quite a view, is it not?” Discord asked, plowing through the snow alongside Fluttershy as they headed off towards somewhere. Fluttershy wasn’t sure.
“It’s nice,” Fluttershy agreed, staring back up at him.
Discord peered around at their surroundings. He noted the winter wonderland that lay before them; the snow coming down slowly in clumps; him clutching his claw behind his back. A whimsical smile overtook his features.
Fluttershy cleared her throat after a short while, causing Discord to pause and look down at her. “Um, Discord? If you don’t mind me asking, um, where are we going?”
“Away,” he didn’t explain, slashing a portal open. Stepping forward, he bowed. “Ladies, first.”
“Oh, thank you.” Fluttershy smiled, accepting the invitation, but pausing before stepping through. “Um, how long are we going to be gone? I do have a casserole in the oven, you know.”
“No need to worry about that.” He waved a carefree claw. “We shan’t be gone for more than a moment’s time.”
“Okay, if you say so...” She stepped through.
The transition caused her to shield her eyes because of the incredible brightness. She blinked a few times and adjusted before finally being able to see, and when she did, she glowed.
Islands, countless varieties, floated above an infinite starry void. Birds, fish, mammals, with and without wings, soared through the air, taking various shapes and colors, some even changing on the fly. Lush fields of aqua blue melted into the void below. Trees, so many trees that she couldn’t wrap her head around the impossible forest.
“Wonderful, isn’t it?” Discord called from behind.
Fluttershy turned and was met with a blanket, a basket, and a pair of glasses. Behind Discord stood a purple tree with bushy violet leaves.
“Your thinking tree...” she noted with a whisper, flying over and settling on the blanket. She watched with great interest as Discord reached into the tree to grab a couple of fruit.
“Hmm? Oh, this old thing? Yes, I suppose it is. Ol’ Thinky and I go way back,” he said, now sporting a tailored white dress with a black vest and tie over it. He shook a metal canister with so much vigor that his arms remained in place. They continued to shake it as he reached to grab both wine glasses with his tail, and spun around just in time for his arms to come to a halt, snapping back into place on his bottle. He opened the canister and poured them each a drink before joining Fluttershy on the blanket.
She smiled and said her thanks as she took her glass from him.
“Why?”
Fluttershy paused mid sip and placed her glass down. She tilted her head as she looked up to him. “Um, why what?”
“Fluttershy... I’ve been meaning to ask as well—I’ve spent a long time thinking, perhaps too much time, hard to say really...” He put his glass to the side and stood up. He rested his paw on the tree and looked into the distance. “Why me?”
“Discord...” Fluttershy flew over to him without hesitation and placed a hoof on his chest.
Discord tilted his head down, staring at his feet, shaking his head.
“I just don’t get it. It’s funny, really,” he chuckled, staring at her, eyes widening with mixture of both joy and confusion. “Before meeting you, I believed I could have anything I desired, but looking back, everything I desired didn’t matter, not the way I thought it did.
“None of it, zilch, nada...” he sputtered, quickly wiping the specks of drool from the side of his face with a handkerchief. He reached out to take her hoof in his claw. “But now, here you are. So, again, you flutter by, a little butterfly, turning my world right-side up. Oh lovely Fluttershy, why me?”
Fluttershy smiled sweetly at him, placing a hoof on his chin. Her mane whisked away in the wind. “Because even chaos deserves a little kindness...” she whispered, closing the gap, their lips embraced.
