Equestria's War Machine

by Jest

Rating: teen
Tags: Violence, Princess Celestia, Death, Alternate Universe, Human, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 6066

Summoned accidentally to an Equestria at war, a human must fight Celestia's foes if he wants to live in peace.

Summoned accidentally to an Equestria at war, a human must fight Celestia's foes if he wants to live in peace.

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Published 2023-12-25 22:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2023-12-25 22:50:02 UTC

Arrival

Author's Note

This is a part of the Jest Days of Christmas, where I update something every single day of December. Go check out the link for the full list and check back everyday for a new update!

Arrival

I glanced out the window of my office, peering out over the quiet neighborhood as I waited for my chess opponent to finish his turn. I had picked off nearly every single one of his pieces by this point, but he had also managed to get my queen as well as both of my knights, the three pieces I used more than any other. Still, with little more than pawns and a single bishop left, their chances looked slim. As I watched the timer slowly burn down on their turn I glanced to my second screen, where I was also waiting for another opponent to finish his turn. The card game we played was quite popular nowadays, and I had whittled him down to almost no life points while forcing him to discard all but one of his cards. With a solitary card in hand, he would need something incredibly powerful, and most importantly, uncounterable if he was going to have a chance to get back into this.

I turned back to the window and watched as a bird flitted from one tree to the other, gathering twigs for a nest it was building. The bird was small and resembled a robin, but I didn't give it enough attention to truly discover what species it was as one of the timers burnt out and my chess opponent conceded. Which was fair, as he could only move his king and a single pawn without putting himself in check.

A second later my card game opponent attempted to cast a large, very counterable creature which I ensured never hit the board. With all of their threats dealt with, and dead on board, they had little to do other than concede, but it seemed like they were feeling spiteful as they waited out the timer for another two minutes before conceding before my draw step. I shrugged, not really irritated by the move, as I had little better to do today anyway.

I considered queuing back up for another match as I watched the little animation announce that I had reached Grandmaster 135, and Diamond 1 respectfully. In the end, I decided to end my little gaming session right there and closed both programs before standing up. My chair creaked and groaned as my weight lifted and I placed a hand against my lower back as I stretched.

A twinge of hunger drew my attention to the kitchen, and I walked through my small apartment in search of something to satiate said hunger. As I walked I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and I stopped and looked for a moment, taking a step into the bathroom.

Age had been kind to me, though I shouldn't really say that as I was not even thirty. Still, I had always looked older than I was, so I could probably pass for thirty-five, or maybe even forty if I dyed my beard white. Running my fingers through my facial hair I carefully straightened the mass of disheveled hair, while pretending to not be concerned by the fact that the white patch on the right side was getting a little wider.

I sighed and ran a hand over my smooth, bald head, while silently cursing my genes for the billionth time. Something I stopped and reprimanded myself for, as at least it gave me wide shoulders and a large frame which combined with a light workout routine left me with an impressive physique, though that was mostly just for looks. Something that made sense considering my job as a security guard, as ninety percent of it was merely looking intimidating, and the other ten percent was just meticulous note-taking.

Something I both had in spades.

Dark bags hung under my eyes, something that had stayed with me since childhood, and though I joked that they were the cause of one too many all-nighters, apparently it was another weird family thing given to me by my dad, like grey hair and balding young. Grumbling silently I scratched my stomach and turned back to the kitchen, intent on making myself a cup of noodles or something small that wouldn't ruin my supper.

As I reached into the cupboard I heard something strange in the distance, like a voice calling my name, but it was so far away that I figured it was merely the wind. Placing my phone on the counter, I slid past the Pinkie Pie lock screen and threw on some youtube video I didn't really care about in the background.

With some background noise making me feel not quite so lonely, I filled the pot with water and readied the instant noodles in a bowl off to the side. Just as the water was filled I heard the voice again, this time slightly closer and far, far clearer. Placing the pot on the stove, I turned it on to a low temperature and made my way over to my front door, which I opened and hung my head out of for a second.

After hearing, and seeing nothing out of the ordinary, I pulled my head back inside and moved instead over to the open window in the combination living room and dining room. Hearing nothing like the voice for the second time, I closed the window and went back to my noodles, muttering to myself about getting a roommate, or perhaps a girl or boyfriend, anyone I could double-check my sanity against.

Turning up the volume on the video I turned the stove up a bit and deposited my noodles into the water, stirring the contents constantly as I began to wonder if I had left a game on in the other room or something. The noodles cooked quickly, and I deposited them into my bowl before cleaning up after myself and bringing the contents therein back to my computer, along with my phone, which I made sure was charged before tucking into my jeans.

Plopping back down in front of the screen I opened Netflix and considered watching another documentary only to find that I had watched everything that had looked interesting. I sighed and scrolled through the list of the ones that I had seen already, hoping something would jump out at me and make me want to rewatch it. Scores of war documentaries, as well as a rather lengthy series on historical and modern weapons, scrolled past me, my eyes glazing over as I found little that struck my fancy. Switching to something else, I decided to indulge in some philosophy and picked one at random, not really knowing enough on the subject to properly formulate an opinion and merely picking one based on one having a dude with a massive beard as the cover.

As the screen displayed the opening of the movie, I began to dig into my noodles, slurping back the spicy mixture with gusto. Even though my eyes watered immediately, I continued to consume the delicious substance, only to be interrupted mid-slurp by the sound of my name being called, this time far closer and far clearer.

“Angus.” It spoke, in a clearly feminine yet demanding tone.

I found myself transfixed for several seconds, unable to move or even do so much as blink. After about a minute I shook my head and stood up suddenly and made a beeline for my room, where I grabbed the work knife I wasn't technically allowed to have on me while at work. It was a large, intimidating blade that looked more like a short sword than a true knife. I never actually had to use it so far though. Sure I had to flash it a few times when working in the north end, and even pull it out one time but I hardly knew how to use the thing. That being said I felt a little better with it being in my hand, the weight making me feel more comfortable and easing the fear that had been crawling up my spine.

I waited patiently, knees bent as I waited for the voice to return.

Minutes passed and I began to feel silly for my bout of paranoia, the logical side of my brain telling me how ridiculous I looked jumping at shadows. I chuckled nervously and returned to a stand, my knuckles no longer white from the tense grip I had on the knife.

I walked back over to the sheathe and had slid the blade halfway back in before the voice returned, this time booming in my ears and making me drop to the ground, knife, and sheath in hand. “Angus!” It demanded.

I knelt on my hands and knees, unable to move or even breathe, my lungs burned, and just when I thought I would pass out, its grip lessened and I bolted upright, breathing heavily. Strapping the knife to my leg I threw open my closet and tossed on the old leather biker jacket I had inherited from my father before donning a simple black hat only to stop myself just as I was beginning to reach towards the small box at the back of my closet.

“I don't need a gun, I’m having an episode or attack of some kind,” I muttered to myself.

Shaking my head I considered tossing aside the knife only to shrug and decide that since time was of the essence, I had better use that time to find my phone and contact an ambulance. My heart thundered in my chest as I sprinted to the next room, the phone glinting in the light as I reached for it.

“ANGUS!” The voice spoke again.

This time I found myself unable to resist the unspoken command that lay beneath the voice. A command that made me crumple to the floor in agony, my muscles writhing as if I had been electrocuted. Only this was unlike the times when I had been messing around with the wiring when I was a kid, or even when I was an adult and got tasered as part of my security training.

This pain was immense, and nearly all-consuming, making me twitch as I struggled to not violently expel the contents of my stomach. Though my ability to sense my surroundings became incredibly limited, I was distinctly aware of a feeling of wrongness that suddenly surrounded me completely.

The closest equivalent I could imagine would be like the time I went on a roller coaster in high school, only this time it was like I was being pulled in four different directions at the same time. The sudden inertia I experienced was bizarre but more concerning than that was the way my insides seemed to twist inside my midsection as if my very essence was being shoved through a hole much too small for it to pass through.

With another shove from some force beyond my control, I was pushed between whatever wall had been holding me back momentarily, and my entire body twisted in reverse. My eyes refused to open, and for that, I was grateful, as the rush of noise had grown to a screaming cacophony that made my stomach turn worse than it already was.

Then, just as suddenly as it began, it stopped, and I felt solid ground under me once more, though the raw noise I had been subjected to had left my ears ringing and my head spinning I could at least feel something. I groped around on the ground as I got my bearings, the cold tiled floor alerting me to the fact that I was no longer in my office anymore. Wrenching my eyelids open, I looked down to find myself in the center of what looked like an arcane circle painted in vibrant purple on a pearl-white stone floor.

Giving my head a firm shake, I placed one hand on my knife and tried to force my limbs to answer my commands and allow me to rise once more. This was a futile effort though, as I could only twitch weakly for several seconds before falling back to the floor. Gritting my teeth I slammed my first into the ground, fighting off the wave of nausea and weakness that clung to me like an enormous smothering blanket.

“It's up! Sweet Celestia what do we do, it's not supposed to be up!” Cried a panicked voice of something small and feminine.

The fact that my ears couldn't suddenly work again was a pleasant change, but the panicked cry of a nearby person alerted me to the fact that something had gone terribly wrong. The tone contained the same primal fear I had heard a few times while on the job, and it told me that I was in the middle of a dire situation. Looking up, I noticed that I was surrounded on three sides by tiny, robe-covered horse things.

Blinking rapidly I realized they weren't horses at all, but rather ponies like from the show I used to watch. For a second my brain seemed to stop functioning as I stared at a short teal unicorn with a bowl cut of mint and white striped hair. “What?” I muttered in disbelief.

“It's armed, get the guards! Hurry!” Cried a voice from behind me, this one clearly male, and even more panicked than the light-colored mare cowering before me.

Pushing aside the last of the strange weakness clinging to me, I stood up and found that I towered over the ponies to the point that my head brushed the ceiling. The ponies barely came up to my waist and all around me I could hear a flurry of activity as the two male unicorns I had seen earlier were running out a door I heard open behind me.

In front of me stood the lone mare who looked up at me with eyes so wide I thought they might roll out of her head. Despite the clear terror on its face I couldn't help but laugh, as I imagined its eyes literally rolling out of its head. An act that only made her more scared for some reason, as she backed away until her butt hit the wall.

Kneeling back down I drew my knife and placed it on the ground, trying to make it obvious that I was not in any way trying to attack her. “I come in peace,” I spoke, lowly and slowly.

The mare blinked, her pupils slowly growing as she looked down from the knife and then back up to me. “W-what are you?” She stuttered.

“Not from around here, that much is obvious,” I remarked with a smirk, which seemed to be another thing that set her off, the mare nearly wetting herself as she continued to press herself against the wall.

Raising an eyebrow I looked down at her, my smirk falling away. “I know it looks a little crazy right now but could you please tell me where I am and what's going on?”

“You’re in C-c-canterlot.” She muttered, looking past me and towards the hall where I could hear the clank of armored hooves coming closer.

I sighed and considered my options for a moment before choosing the least threatening action I could think of. Pushing the knife towards her I laid down on my chest, my hands behind my back. “I know I may seem scary but please, do not be alarmed, I will not resist any attempt at capture, do you understand?” I spoke again, aware that the clanking was growing closer.

The mare gulped and nodded weakly, using her magic to drag the weapon close to her, apparently too weak to heft the large weapon. Outside, I could hear the commotion stop, only for the door to explode outward and two slightly larger, well-armored stallions trot in, their pure white coats standing in stark contrast to the gleaming gold of their armor and the reflective silver of their spears.

“Halt!” One barked at me, only to look down and realize I was already all but restrained. “Uh, good. Stay there, demon.”

I rolled my eyes. “Really, a demon? Come on now I know I must be intimidating to you but that's just uncalled for.”

The duo paused as they entered the room with the second one’s jaw hanging open. “It shouldn't be able to speak, who cast the translation spell?”

The minty mare from earlier coughed awkwardly. “All of the summoning rooms have inbuilt translation matrices.” She explained, only to wilt suddenly when attention was directed towards her.

I frowned despite my situation, slightly irritated that these stallions were glaring at her so harshly for merely answering a question. Despite my annoyance, I remained silent, watching as the unicorns fanned out along the walls, keeping me in their sights, their horns glowing and their spears levitating beside them.

“Resistance will be met with force, any attempt to stand or attack us will be met with lethal force, do you understand?” The first, and slightly larger stallion spoke.

I nodded calmly. “Yes, officer.”

He blinked, taken aback by my politeness apparently. “G-good, Seargent Steam Shield if you would.”

I turned to the second stallion who winced under my gaze, his magic flickering, and nearly resulting in the pony dropping his weapon. “L-look away, p-p-please.”

I shrugged and did as he was told, baffled by just how skittish they were, though I guess it made sense as it was obvious that I was not a vegetarian like them. I mean I was, but not biologically, but through choice alone.

I waited as the pony soldier cast his spell, a faint tickle coming over my wrists as two metal bands surrounded them and closed, or would have, had my wrists not been larger than expected. “Uh, commander?” The second stallion muttered.

“Oh for the love of… go fetch a pair reserved for minotaurs, that should be large enough.” The first one barked.

“R-right.” Steam Shield muttered before sprinting out of the room.

I looked over to the summoner pony from earlier, noting that she had yet to move, before turning to the lone stallion. “Shouldn't you secure the civilian first? She seems scared out of her mind.”

“I uh..” The stallion closed his mouth and looked over at the unicorn, only to shake his head. “Her conjuration spells may be required in subduing you.”

“I can assure you I have no intention of resisting or making a fuss, please reconsider, she looks about ready to pee herself.” I continued.

“I would r-really appreciate it, commander.” The mare whispered.

The stallion seemed to give it some thought, only for him to ultimately shake his head. “She is a part of this army and I will use any resource necessary to detain a potential demonic invasion. Besides, her link to you may very well be useful in the future.”

I didn't have a chance to question the link he mentioned before Steam Shield returned with a much larger pair of handcuffs that resembled manacles more than the simple steel cuffs they had brought in earlier. This time they did fit, though they felt oddly weak when I flexed my wrists as if they would bend under my will if I really pushed it. Stowing that thought away for now I remained where I was while they secured my bindings.

“Rise, demon.” The commander demanded.

I sighed pulled my legs under me and stood from there, the manacles making the act awkward but not impossible. With my head turned slightly to the side in order to make sure I didn't hit the ceiling, I looked down at the commander quizzically. “Now what?” I asked.

He blinked, the spell growing around his horn suddenly evaporating when he realized I would not, in fact, attempt anything violent. “Sergeant, you will be taking the lead, bring this one to the brig, and make sure you enact the wards, I will not have a repeat of last time.”

The smaller stallion gulped and walked in front of me, his tiny little tail tucked firmly between his legs as he took a step out into the hall. I glanced over my shoulder, noticing that the stallion had just finished whispering something to the teal-coated mare from earlier. Nodding her head, she took up position behind him, before the commander motioned for me to begin walking. I shrugged and did as I was told, following the terrified little stallion as he led me out of the room and into the hall.

The ceiling remained as low as ever, though this time I had to dodge around these strange, glowing blue sticks that sprouted from the ceiling at even intervals. The sticks gave off the light that filled the hall, I quickly realized, as there were no windows or other illumination to speak of. As we walked, I noticed that there were several other rooms much akin to the strange one I had arrived within, save these were all empty, the pony summoners having been apparently evacuated, and recently if the scattering of supplies left behind was any indication.

“Is summoning a human uncommon?” I asked, only to notice that the translation spell seemed to only be on the room itself, as the stallion lifted an eyebrow at me, but otherwise displayed no understanding of what I had said.

An assumption that was proved correct when he spoke back to me in a series of whinnies, snorts, and strange noises one would assume a tiny horse would use to communicate. It was kind of adorable really and I smiled as I listened to them speak back and forth, amused by their odd manner of speech.

Turning a corner, we arrived at a much larger room, that had an enormous sun and moon painted upon the floor. I paused and gave it a look, noticing that it was the same kind of motif displayed in Canterlot Castle. “Odd,” I muttered to myself, looking at it as long as possible while they continued to shuffle me off to wherever the brig was.

So focused was I, that I hardly noticed the rest of my surroundings before I suddenly found myself on a spiral staircase going down. Thankfully the ceiling wasn't too low, as it meant I did not have to bend to the point of hurting myself, though what little bending I did do reminded me that my back still sucked beans at holding me up without causing me pain. Emerging into the basement I looked around to find that although there were jail cells to the right along the wall, the rest of the space was occupied by ponies moving to and fro carrying boxes or stacks of paper.

I shrugged off the strange layout of the building and ignored the obvious security risk that putting storage next to jail cells would mean as evidently this entire building had been converted from what had been an apartment building at one point. The cells themselves were enormous and contained a cordoned-off section that I assumed had a bathroom, as well as a large bed that was just about big enough for even me to sleep on. Along one wall was a bookshelf that contained several tomes, which I could neither read nor make out at this distance.

“So how do I get in there?” I asked, pointing out the fact that there was no manner of door or entryway of any kind.

The stallion moved over to the wall and pulled a lever, making eight or so of the central bars rise into the ceiling. Getting the picture even though his words were still unintelligible horse noise, I walked inside before turning to the side and wiggling my bound hands at him. “A little help here, chief?”

The two ponies went back and forth before the second shook his head at me, evidently fine with leaving me in manacles while already behind bars. Rolling my eyes I flexed my arms and pulled the chains that connected the manacles apart in a single titanic tug before bringing my hands around the front of me, where I pulled the metal wrist warmers off and placed them outside my cell.

My keepers eyed me with naked shock, their weird horse talk going back and forth rapidly, with even the mare joining in. They continued to go back and forth like this for several minutes, during which time I familiarized myself with my new cell which was roughly the size of my old apartment, minus the guest room. It even had a few of the creature comforts like a window near the roof that would have been too high for a pony to see out of but was at eye level for me. Looking outside, I noted that we were in what looked like a military base of some kind, though it was also converted from what was likely a playground at one point in time, though nothing was left other than a slide and a plaque that was left behind for whatever reason.

Ponies of all shapes, sizes, and colors scurried this way and that, most of whom bore military-esque cutie marks of some kind. There was a general commotion about the place, and I could notice that the short walls were manned by far more ponies than necessary, many of which cast a curious eye back at the command center I was housed in as if expecting an attack from either side of their fortifications.

None of them seemed to notice my staring though, meaning it was unlikely that this window was two-way and was likely enchanted in some manner. Turning back around I noticed that the toilet was surprisingly normal and there was even a small shower that would necessitate me crouching to make use of, as well as a sink large enough for me to wash a single hand in at a time.

The entire thing made me feel like I was a giant in the land of dwarves, and as someone that was six foot three, I was used to this feeling like that to a degree, but never to this sort of level. It was kind of empowering in a way, a fact that was driven home by just how weak, and easily destroyed everything seemed to be.

Shrugging off this strangeness, I made my way back over to the bars, wherein the three ponies suddenly became silent as I stared down at them. For a moment they said nothing, only for the commander to whisper something to the sergeant, who ran off, a panicked look on his face. I raised an eyebrow and jerked my head in the direction he had just left, asking the question my poor communication could not.

The commander shook his head and covered the mare’s mouth a second after she began to speak. It was funny really, these ponies had so little discipline that it felt more akin to being in the holding cell in a very small and very rural town. There, like here, no one knew what was going on, things were stacked everywhere and some cells were used as storage spaces. I smiled as I thought back to my time spent looking after such cells, as they were the easiest and most laid-back jobs you could get.

Looking back down, I noticed that the mare waved feebly before trotting away, not giving me enough time to wave back, though I did so anyway. Leaving only myself and the commander to stare at one another for nearly a minute.

He grunted unexpectedly before turning and stomping away.

Now alone, and with nothing to do, I perused the books they had set out and was unsurprised to find that I could not read any of them. The language itself was strange and instantly reminded me of Chinese characters or Japanese kanji, though there weren't any straight lines.

I flipped through the various tomes, trying to find some pictures, or perhaps a translation of some kind.

Despite my best efforts and hopes, there were no pictures or way of translating anything into English. Though the characters themselves were interesting to look at, I found myself bored quickly after trying to read the odd writing for more than a few minutes. Placing the book back on the shelf, I fell into the bed and used my hat to cover my eyes and catch a few zs, or at least pretend to anyway.

I was far too excited to truly nap at a time like this, and my mind whirled with thoughts as I lay there, hands behind my head.

It was obvious that they had some kind of interaction with humans at one point or another, as they weren't completely shocked by my arrival, but rather they were merely confused and terrified. I frowned harder the longer I thought about it, as I realized that a human must have been summoned in the past only for them to turn out to be a bit of a monster.

Their technology was also lower than the show would have made you think, and magic seemed to replace just about everything, even when it wasn't necessary, or smart to do so, like with jail cell walls, for example. When I had grabbed the bars earlier they had felt weak, as if they could be bent under the perfect amount of force, provided I desired such a thing. Yet when I had used the sink earlier, the handle had felt relatively more solid and was obviously not magical in any capacity whatsoever.

A thought suddenly struck me, making me realize that something must have gone terribly wrong in this world, as not only were they preparing for war, but they had gotten so desperate as to convert civilian structures to meet their needs. The time frame seemed to fit the show, or at least after it, as the sun and moon shared equal space in that mural, while I assumed it would not have if Luna had not ascended to the throne after her return.

The longer I thought about it, the more worried I became, not even considering what exactly they would eventually do with me. Something that I logicked away, due to the equestrians seeming very nice on the surface, though a little naive in their own kind of adorable way.

A sudden clang drew my attention up to where a tall white alicorn now stood just outside my cell. It was clearly Celestia, but she appeared far more haggard than she had ever appeared in the show, though then again, the show wasn't exactly animating with top-tier software, while this was real bloody life.

I put my hat back on my head and rose quickly, making a show of ducking into a short, but respectful bow. Something that made the alicorn raise an eyebrow, but otherwise remain unmoved by.

Standing back up I leaned against the wall. “So, did you get a translation spell, or are we both going to end up talking to a wall here?”

“I have not, and we will not,” Celestia spoke, her lips and mouth seemingly fighting her during every English word she spoke.

“You speak English?” I asked.

“I know most demon tongues,” Celestia replied, waving away her confused-looking guards who shrugged before pushing everyone else out of the room and leaving us alone.

“Why the whole demon thing? You of all beings must know that we are called humans and we are not red-skinned nightmare beasts from hell.” I shot back, before sitting myself on the end of the bed and looking up at her.

“Demon is the equestrian word for human, sort of.” She replied simply, though I got the feeling there was more to it than that. “History lessons can wait, for now, I must ask what you are doing here.”

I shrugged. “One minute I was in my home, the next I was here, your mint-colored summoner having called my name several times.”

“That's impossible, she could not know the name of a demon, and the spell wasn't calibrated for such a summoning in the first place.” The mare shook her head and sighed. “I will have to speak with her later, if I may, what exactly are you?”

“Didn't we just go over this?” I asked.

Celestia rolled her eyes. “I mean are you a rage demon, a war demon, what manner of demon are you?”

“Uh, a caucasian one? Though I’m one-third Cherokee on my dad’s side so…” I shrugged again.

The alicorn groaned, planting a hoof against her forehead. “Just tell me what you do.”

“Oh uh, I’m a security guard,” I replied.

“A guard? Really?” The alicorn hummed to herself, a hoof tapping against her chin. “We have never heard of a demon having the profession of a guard before. Do you have any desire to go back to your home? Perhaps friends or family that are waiting for you?”

I shrugged again. “Friends, I guess. Most of my family passed on years ago, and here seems nice, albeit I’d prefer the removal of the prison bars.”

Celestia nodded to herself as she continued to contemplate something.

For several minutes we stood there as she paced back and forth, until she stopped suddenly, facing me once again. “Would you be interested in a job, my fair demon?”

“So long as you call me by name and not just demon all the time, sure. What do you pay?” I inquired, standing up and leaning against the wall.

Celestia seemed repulsed by my suggestion to call me by name, and she recoiled visibly. “Absolutely not, we will refer to you by code names only.”

“Uh sure, I guess,” I muttered, a little confused, but not altogether against the idea. “So what do you pay anyway?”

“Ten bits a week during training and fifteen bits a week after that,” Celestia explained. “If you would like, we could also put half of those bits in a secure, high-interest account until the end of the war.”

“I suppose you will have me fighting someone then, eh?”

She nodded. “We are currently at war with the Griffon empire and their colonies.”

“Interesting,” I muttered, tapping my chin.

The prospect of fighting and dying for a country of tiny quadrupeds that hated and feared me was not a pleasant one, but they held a certain innocence to them that made it difficult to hate them. That and they were obviously in desperate need of an edge if they were willing to offer me a place among them.

“I could be convinced to join such an endeavor, provided the benefits were acceptable, and I knew more about your situation.” I continued, standing from the bed and walking over to the bars of my cell, prompting even Celestia to take a step back. “Perhaps we could speak of this somewhere more comfortable?”

The alicorn seemed ready to dismiss my suggestion out of hand, only for her to grimace as she seemed to remember something unpleasant. Though the face she made lasted less than a second, I easily caught it, prompting me to wonder if some tragedy had befallen Equestria. The mare nodded, standing a little taller as she tried to appear more confident than she had first looked. “That is… acceptable, though I hope you don't mind if I bring my guards with me.”

“Of course, whatever makes you comfortable, princess,” I remarked.

“Strange, I do not remember mentioning my royal status or name for that matter.” She replied while eying me curiously.

“Your guards are quite talkative.” I lied. “It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together.”

The alicorn seemed to accept my lie, though not wholly, and she eyed me with renewed intensity. “That is true, my guards do seem to have an issue with being rather loose-lipped as it were.” She shook her head and grabbed the lever next to the door. “We will speak in my office, and if you accept, your training will begin on the marrow.”

“That would be most acceptable princess, lead the way,” I replied, a wide smile on my face.