Author's Note
This is a part of the Jest Days of Christmas, where I update something every single day of December. Go check out the link for the full list and check back everyday for a new update!
Cruelty Spawns Cruelty
I wasn't a very nice person, in life.
I read once that violence for violence was the rule of beasts, but I’d argue that it is man who is the only true beast. Animals know not violence, they know not what they do and know not the implications of their actions. There exists only instinct and an intelligence too small to truly parse the moral quandary that surrounds what they have done.
Though even then, I had once read that great apes were incredibly violent and were known to actively raid competitors' territory, killing the young and generally doing as much damage as possible. These apes knew hatred, they knew violence, and though I know not if they understood just how vile their actions truly were, I believe that on some level they knew what they were doing was wrong.
So maybe it wasn't just us humans who were the beasts of the world. Maybe it was just us great apes, maybe somewhere along the line of evolution, god put the devil in us.
I had died an ignoble death, both cold and alone, with nobody to grieve over the meat sack I left behind. Though even then It hadn't been bad, dying that is.
As I lay there in the snow, a junky’s knife between my ribs, I felt peace for once. Sure there was pain but it was nice knowing that it was finally over, and the cavalcade of failures that was my existence would come to its final, terrible end.
All the drug dealers I had protected, all the scumbags I had helped to keep breathing, they all kind of faded away for the first time in a long time.
I felt this burden of guilt, and self-loathing that had built up over two decades in the business begin to lift, and a sort of clarity settled over me. It made sense, really, to have gone toe to toe with the biggest assholes in the city only to end up with a kitchen knife between the ribs. I wasn't an expert by any stretch of the imagination but I had stabbed enough people to know that this spot on the left side, usually did you in a matter of minutes.
And to think, I was finally doing something kind and giving money instead of taking it for a change.
Karma’s got quite the twisted sense of humor.
Again, I can't stress enough how nice it was. The gentle fall of snowflakes against my face, the cool touch of death, it would have almost been scenic if I wasn't lying in some shitty parking lot in the west end but hey, it was a nicer death than I deserved, that much was certain.
Still, as I lay there, my blood flowing into the snow, a crackhead rooting around in my pockets for a fist full of bills, I felt one last pang of regret, before I left this world.
I had never wanted to walk this path, to become the man I was, everything just happened and instead of changing it I just went with it, accepting it as my lot in life.
“Heh, maybe next time,” I muttered, blood already freezing on my lips.
“Such a waste,” A voice muttered.
Existence returned to me like a hammer blow, and I found myself suddenly aware once more, my brief stint of non-existence making this current ‘life’ feel strange and almost distant in a way.
“Where am I?” I muttered, trying to move any part of my body, knowing from experience that I needed to get blood into my limbs quickly in order to put up a fight.
Yet there was no blood to pump, or limbs to flex, nor even the familiar feeling of rope against my wrists.
Instead, there was only a black void that filled my new existence.
Feeling disconnected from my body was not a new sensation for me, and I quickly stifled the panic that threatened to rise where my gut should be. “Who's there?” I demanded, my voice emanating from around where my mouth should be.
“You are nowhere, and everywhere.” The clearly feminine voice whispered.
I jerked to the right only to see more vast emptiness. “Cut the shit and come out here,” I muttered bitterly. “I may be dead but I don't have the patience for your mysterious horseshit.”
The voice sighed in a manner that made it clear it was disappointed in me. “You would think patience would come to you when time no longer exists.”
I grunted. “Patience may be a virtue, but so is being concise. So, out with whatever you want to say.”
“I saw this coming, and yet I still find myself disappointed.” The voice sighed again, raising my ire ever higher. “Let's get this out of the way first. You are dead.”
“No shit,” I remarked. “Get on with it.”
“You’re dead, and you are about to go to what amounts to hell, or at least you would have anyway,” the voice remarked quite matter-of-factly.
“This is where you offer me some sort of Faustian bargain right? To get out of the hell that awaits me and in return, I get a hell of my accidental choosing?” I laughed bitterly. “Well no thanks, I’ve always wanted to go to Florida and hell sounds about as close as I’m going to get to the keys.”
“No actually.” The voice whispered, quite proudly I might add. “No bargain, and no choice, think of this merely as an interlude in which I may offer you some words of wisdom.”
I sighed, wishing desperately I could punch the owner of the sickly sweet voice, or at least tap my foot impatiently. “Well, get on with it already.”
The voice tsked. “Such lip, that will have to go.” Before I had a chance to hurl another insult the voice continued. “In life, you were without purpose, without a goal, or something to care about. You had nothing and cared for nothing, not even yourself. That will change,” the voice sighed, in a way that made it almost sound like it was releasing a breath made solely of pity. “I know you are going to bring your violence to my world, and I know it's going to be important that this happens, but still. Try and keep it to a minimum, please?”
I paused, the insult dying on my tongue, struck by just how… genuine she sounded. As if this was more of a plea than an order or even a request. Contrary to what my anger wanted me to do, I sighed and whispered back. “I’ll try.”
“That is all I ask of you.” The voice smiled, don't ask me how I knew, but I could just tell. “Good luck my son, and please do forgive your new form. It is all I can manage from this realm.”
Before I had a chance to utter the question already building on my tongue I found myself thrust once more from unreality into existence.
This time there was no delay, no bizarre sensation of spontaneously popping into existence after briefly not existing at all. I was simply in that space with the voice one second, and the next I was somewhere else.
Somewhere cold.
I would have sighed if I could, though it was rather poignant that I died in the cold, only to be born into the cold anew.
“Hey, there is something over here.” I heard a male voice shout from somewhere nearby.
I tried to move what amounted to my body but found myself encased in all sides by some form of stone. No limbs reacted to my call, no arms or legs, only a writhing mass of what felt like liquid. It was fucking disgusting to say the least.
Thankfully I had no manner in which to vomit, or else I would have done just that.
Instead, I focused on ‘hearing’ in the direction of the voice. I put hearing in quotations because I knew logically that I had no ears to speak of, so hearing wasn't exactly the word I would use to describe it, maybe perceiving?
Regardless, I was rewarded with the soft clip-clop of hooves, alerting me to the sudden realization that I was now in a reality in which there existed intelligent equines. This was not what I was expecting at all, though now that I thought about it wasn't that far-fetched. The voice definitely had not been human, so was intelligent equines truly that strange? I hope there are dragons here too, twelve year old me would have loved that.
“It's some sort of liquid trapped in the crystals.” The male voice remarked.
It was soft, and from what I could tell the owner of said voice was probably not the healthiest, his cheeks almost getting in the way of his speech. His steps were also heavier than the smaller, daintier pair that now approached.
“Interesting.” A female voice remarked in a cold and clinical-sounding tone.
Her voice lacked empathy, I couldn't tell you how I knew, but the instant she spoke I could tell she was not a creature to be trifled with. Her steps were also light, and confident, and she strutted up to my crystal prison without fear or trepidation. Though I could not perceive anything other than sound, I could feel her eyes upon my body, making a shiver course up where I imagined my spine was.
“Miss Dawn, ma’am?” The fat guy asked hesitantly, his hooves shifting back and forth nervously.
“Remain calm mister Nucleus.” She muttered, leaning closer to my prison, her hooves pressing firmer against the ground. “If it could escape its container it would have done so already.”
“R-right.” The male muttered, continuing his irritating shuffling. His fear disgusted me for a reason I couldn't quite put into words.
For a long moment, they remained silent, the spineless twerp shuffling awkwardly, his fat slapping against itself, making bile rise inside me. The female however remained unmoving, apparently deep in contemplation or revulsion, I couldn't tell which as she was utterly motionless. “Intriguing.” She remarked one final time, before turning and strutting away. “Bring the guards, place it in the secure case, and bring it to site B.”
“Are you sure it's what we're looking for?” Fatty asked nervously.
“We can't know for sure, not yet.” The female stopped. “Regardless, it is quite interesting is it not?”
Fatting shuffled awkwardly, turning to me and pausing. “Is it… listening to us?”
“Most definitely.” The female responded. “I expect your preliminary report on my desk within the hour of you reaching base, understood?”
Fatty nodded his face, prompting his jowls to jiggle. “Right away ma’am.”
“Good, I expect great things from you mister Nucleus,” Then, she left, the sharp clack of her hooves being the last I heard of her.
Fat boy relaxed the instant she left, slowly turning to me and sighing. “This is Doctor Nucleus, we have the package, bring the case, and prep the helicopter, we leave in twenty.”
I would have blinked if I had eyes, surprised by the surprising amount of spine fat boy showed.
Before I had a chance to reconsider my opinion of the tub of lard, I heard several sets of hooves enter the room I was in. They were harsh, confident, and weighed down by what I assumed was some sort of protective gear and weapons, they were referred to as guards after all.
Moments later I heard the clank of something metal being dropped on the ground, followed by a second clank as it was opened. I waited patiently, hoping against hope that the equines would give me the opening I needed to escape the confines of my crystal prison.
Alas, they did not, and with a swift crack, I found myself jostled as the crystal around me was freed, while I remained unable to move, and without an opening. With all the ceremony of someone tossing a bag of potatoes into a trunk they tossed the crystal, and me along with it, into the case.
The last thing I perceived was the clank of the case closing over me, then darkness as the complete absence of sound or sensory feedback whatsoever settled over me.
With a mental sigh of irritation, I settled into my prison, choosing to take this moment to relax and sleep, if my new body even required such a thing.
Sure enough, the darkness came quickly, and along with it, the return of peace.
