Author's Note
This is a part of the Jest Days of Christmas, where I update something every single day of December. Go check out the link for the full list and check back everyday for a new update!
Falling Forever
The distinct copper taste of blood was heavy on my tongue, and I turned my head and spat a wad of the stuff onto the floor of the arena. A wave of obscene yelling came from my right, which was about where the friends of the bastard who had just slugged me were sitting. I could just barely hear Cait off to the side, shouting words of encouragement, or insults, I honestly wasn't sure which.
I wiped a hand across my lips, smearing my palm with my blood.
“You're not a bad fighter. What was yer name again?” I asked, glancing up at my opponent.
The kid couldn't have been more than twenty or so and was as thin as a board. I didn't rightly know how he managed to muster so much power behind those punches of his, as his beaten leather duster had long since lost its sleeves, revealing the skinniest arms I’ve ever seen on a cage fighter. The boy smirked, rolling his fingers and readjusting the grip on the knuckle dusters he had on.
“Johnny is my name, though after I beat you to death in front of your druggy girlfriend I think I’m gonna add Cage to it.” He licked his cracked and broken lips and chuckled darkly. “Or do you think that's too indulgent?”
I could already feel a growl beginning to grow in the back of my throat, the mention of Cait making my blood boil in a way, not many things could nowadays. Pushing down that urge I turned to Cait, making sure to keep one eye on my scrawny opponent. “You mind if I pop this kid?” I asked.
Cait blinked, a massive smile coming to her face. “Tommy doesn't like you doing that, but honestly, this dumb little prick has it coming.”
“The hell are you talking about?” Johnny yelled, squaring his shoulders and raising his fists.
“Nothing,” I yelled back, a smirk crossing my face. “Just getting permission from the missus.”
The scrawny little fucker laughed in that creepy manner that only rapists could manage and before he even opened his mouth I knew what he was gonna say. “After this, I’m going to-”
Normally I let folk finish their threats, as I love giving em a little satisfaction before I beat them, but I already knew what he was going to say, and I was already pissed. A soft orange glow began to emanate from my fist, and I could feel Tommy’s glare intensifying on the back of my head. Thankfully he knew better than to try and stop me, not like he could, mind you and something about the way he stayed silent until now told me the kid had pissed him off in some way. Not like I needed his tacit approval or anything, but it was kinda nice to know that I wasn't going to get an earful after I ended the poor fucker.
Time slowed as my fist began to sweep into a powerful uppercut, and I wondered if my opponent had a bounty on his head, or whether he was just a shit disturber. In the end, it didn't really matter as that was a problem for later, right now I was just focusing on keeping my mouth closed so I didn't end up swallowing a bunch of my victim’s blood again. I may not be the same apple farmer I was three years ago, but accidentally drinking someone else’s blood is fucked up no matter who you are or what you’ve seen.
Seeing my fist coming up at him, the kid tried to dodge out of the way, but I had simply put too much magic into the strike, and we both knew that his movements were going to be too slow to help him now. I watched, with a twisted sense of fascination as my fist slipped between his, the look of confusion on his face slowly morphing into one of pure, unadulterated terror. In that instant, it was like I could read his mind, and I could tell that he was realizing all the whispered rumors about my terrible reputation were suddenly true.
The last thing he did was look up at me with wide, pleading eyes, his mouth opening to say something. I didn't care to hear it though, not like that was an option of course, as a split second later my fist connected with his chin.
If you'd seen me way back in the day from my time bucking apple trees on Sweet Apple Acres, you'd know just how much damage my kicks could do if I wanted them to. Back then I never imagined I’d go using that strength on another living creature, but hey, the wasteland has a way of weeding out the naive and turning the strong, cruel.
Bone crunched beneath my fist, the knuckle duster I had on my hand crumbling under the sheer power of the blow. Blood spurted, bone snapped, skin tore, and a fraction of a second later, the scrawny fucker’s head was flying through the air, while his body remained in place.
A hush fell over the crowd, and I just stood there, with a wide, confident smirk on my face as I watched the kid’s head go flying across the arena and come to a stop with his neck on the ground, his eyes on me. The head looked right at me, then at its body, then back to me, its lips moving like it was trying to say something. But, without access to his lungs, which were currently about six feet away from its head, words were a little outside of his ability to make.
While this happened, his body twitched and spasmed, his arms remaining locked in the same defensive position they had been in before I removed his head from his shoulders. Then, just when I thought I might have to fight his headless body as well, the damn thing collapsed like a puppet with its strings cut.
Utilizing this moment of silence, I pushed my hat back up on my head and pointed at the headless corpse. “I was gonna let you live, but you just had to go and flap your gums. You best take these last moments to pray to whatever god will listen, cus boy, you ain't destined for this world.”
My words seemed to break the silence that had hung over the room and a deafening cry erupted from the stands of the combat zone. I turned to the crowd, the psycho pumping through my veins beginning to die down at about the same time the adrenaline did. The packed crowd made for a deafening moment of victory, but it wasn't like I needed my ears to know what was going on.
The fighters clustered around the bar had their glasses raised, a few sharing the same knowing smirk I had on. The rest of the crowd was mixed, the regulars in the crowd seemingly nonplussed by my display of power, while a few of the Diamond City folk I noticed earlier seemed ready to throw up. A few others near the back seemed bizarrely interested in what happened, and I could tell there were a couple of psychos out in the crowd that were damn near getting off from my little display.
I didn't care one iota about a single one of those fuckers though, as my eyes were on Cait, and to an unfortunate extent, Tommy Lonegan, though I ignored the irritated look that the ghoul was giving me. Cait on the other hand was beaming from ear to ear, her eyes containing that hint of fire that promised me a long, passionate, and mostly sleepless night. In one hand she held a large bottle of whiskey, and in the other, a hypo of psycho, her intentions crystal clear.
I raised my arms to the sky and yelled in triumph, my brain only now realizing that the crowd wasn't just yelling, it was chanting. In my defense, psycho tended to fuck with my ears for whatever reason.
“Calamity, Calamity, Calamity.” They chanted over and over.
Sweet Celestia did I love hearing my name yelled like that. It was enough to make me forget about the pain in my lip and gut. It was a far cry from my old name, but Applejack didn't really fit me or the wasteland, Calamity Jane on the other hand, well that fit about, as well as my stetson, did.
I suppose I should back up my story a might bit eh? You're probably wondering how I went from Applejack the farmer, and bearer of the element of honesty, to Calamity Jane, the terror of the combat zone and remover of heads.
This might take a while, and might need a little explanation, so why don't we just roll the scene back a little first, eh?
“I haven't seen hide nor hair of your element, where did ya last leave it anyway?” I asked Twilight, tapping my hoof impatiently.
The alicorn across from me frowned and looked around the orchard as if her element could have just been lying around my property for some reason. Despite my urge to sass the poor mare, I could tell she was nearly despondent at the loss of the artifact, and poking her at this point would just be mean. Still, I made a note of reminding her of the element's importance and maybe hint that she should keep better track of her things after this whole thing blew over. Right now, she needed my help.
“That's just it. I remember putting it on my end table where I always leave it. I have some protective charms located on that spot so no one can just walk away with it.” Twilight explained. “Yet when I woke up this morning it was just gone.”
“So you think you might have left it somewhere else?” I inquired.
The alicorn just sighed. “I don't know, could you help me check the library? Maybe it's somewhere obvious that I just haven't found.”
“Well shoot, of course, I’ll help, give me a few minutes to make sure Big Mac knows where I am and I’ll be right over,” I replied with a smile.
I could see my friend’s shoulders sag, the tension she held slowly bleeding away. “Thank you Applejack.”
“Aww don't sweat it.”
“I invited the rest of the girls down just in case. I was gonna work on a locator spell in the basement as a backup, just in case.” Twilight continued.
I nodded slowly. “That sounds reasonable.”
“Wonderful. I’ll see you at the library then.”
I placed the couch cushion back in its place and took a step back, scratching my head with a hoof. “Well, that's the last place I could think of,” I muttered.
Rainbow Dash floated down from the ceiling, her hooves crossed over her chest. “It's not in the rafters.” She remarked.
A second later Fluttershy trotted next to me. “And it's not in the kitchen.” She added.
“Or the bathroom.” Rarity remarked, using her magic to scrub her hooves with a towel. “Though Twilight really should scrub that shower of hers, it's disgusting.”
“And it's not in her room!” Pinkie Pie added, hopping down the last six or so stairs and landing next to us.
“Well, shoot. Where in the hay could it be?” I asked.
Spike hopped up onto the couch and sprawled out, clearly exhausted from the hours of searching. “I have no idea,” he muttered, his words obscured by the fact that his face was pressed into the cushions.
“It's gotta be another bad guy right?” Rainbow Dash half asked, half stated.
“That would be par for the course at this point,” Rarity remarked, her magic dulling as her hooves regained their familiar shine before discarding the towel on a nearby chair.
“I don't know about that. Twilight can be a little…” I scratched the back of my neck, unable to think of a nice word for it.
“Scatterbrained?” Spike finished.
“I was gonna say distracted, but that works,” I conceded.
“She has been very busy since the whole coronation coming up.” Rarity added.
“True, but don't you girls think it's strange that she's not helping us look for it?” Fluttershy interjected, a frown on her face. “I mean, not that I mind, but she would usually be right here with us if she thought it could be in the library.”
“Gotta be some jerk bag villain,” Rainbow Dash concluded with a nod. “I wonder what kind of ancient evil we are gonna whoop this time? I bet it's gonna be some sort of shape-shifting bugs from beyond Equestria.”
Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes. “Now that's just silly.”
“Yes, absolutely silly.” Rarity added with a hint of hesitancy in her voice, her mind no doubt conjuring images of the terrifying bug monsters Rainbow Dash had mentioned.
“Well, I think the villain is Twilight’s schedule,” Spike muttered, propping his chin on his hands. “I mean have you seen how long that thing is? I bet it stretches halfway across Ponyville for crying out loud!”
“That does seem a might bit concernin,” I remarked, turning to the basement door. “Maybe we should go talk to her about that.”
“I agree wholeheartedly darling,” Rarity added.
“That does sound like a good idea,” Fluttershy whispered.
“Wait, does that mean we have to keep wearing our elements?” Rainbow Dash inquired, lifting the necklace she wore.
I looked down at my own element for a moment before shrugging. “We might as well hold onto ‘em for now, who knows what Twilight has planned for ‘em.”
“Besides, something tells me Twilight is gonna have a conniption if she sees us without them.” Rainbow Dash remarked with a snicker.
“Good one Rainbow!” Pinkie Pie snickered.
Fluttershy and Rarity didn't laugh quite as loudly, but I could hear that they both seemed to enjoy the joke at our friend’s expense. I myself held back and only laughed a little, hiding my mirth by making my way towards the door. “Well come on y'all we better go talk to her before her head starts spinning.”
The sound of their hooves behind me told me all I needed to know and I made my way over to the door only to stop when it was suddenly thrown open, a wild-eyed Twilight standing in the entryway. “I found it!” She yelled, raising a triumphant hoof into the air.
“That's good news, where was it?” I asked.
The alicorn shrunk slightly. “Oh I know where it is, but I don't have it quite yet.”
“What the hay does that mean anyway?” Rainbow Dash asked, pushing her way to the front.
“It might be in an entirely different reality.” Twilight sighed, and turned around, motioning for us to follow her. “Here, I’ll show you.”
I frowned, sharing a look with the rest of the group who collectively wore masks of concern, save for Pinkie Pie, who didn't seem to be bothered one bit by the fact that the element of magic was in another reality apparently. With a shrug, I led the way, trotting down the stairs as the rest of my friends followed suit on wing and hoof.
All save for Spike who just waved at us from his spot on the couch. “I’ll be down in a bit!”
As we walked down the stairs I realized that the basement was as disastrous as it always seemed to be, books, boxes, and other things were sprawled everywhere, though this time there seemed to be a theme to the normally random objects. Spell books were opened all over the place, some having papers and scrolls stuffed into them, or lying next to them, indicating that Twilight had been hard at work taking notes on something. Spell components of all shapes and sizes were grouped into three seemingly random piles, glowing crystals next to the claws and horns of creatures I didn't know the name of.
At the center of it all was a large magical circle of some kind. Now I obviously ain't a unicorn, or really that knowledgeable in magic, but even I could tell that it was something mighty important. For one it was glowing, and if there is one thing I’ve learned from Twilight is that if it's magic, and it's glowing, it's important. Secondly, it was huge and had plenty of weird symbols and whatnot, ninety-nine percent of which I couldn't make heads or tails of.
“So, do we just go through the mirror and get it or what?” I asked as I looked around the room.
Beside me, the rest of my friends had similar looks, with Rarity appearing the most interested in Twilight’s spellwork, and Rainbow Dash appearing to be the least interested, the pegasus looking down at her hoof with a bored expression.
“How do you know about the mirror?” Twilight asked, her eyes narrowing.
I shrugged. “You talked about it a little while ago remember? You were going on and on about interdimensional something or other.”
The alicorn frowned but at least dropped the accusatory look she had on. “I was getting rather ranty wasn't I?”
“It was a record!” Pinkie Pie piped up, bouncing over to the circle. “You went on for thirty-nine minutes before you realized no one was paying attention!”
Rainbow Dash snickered. “Thanks for that by the way, you made me ten bits richer after that little rant of yours.”
Twilight blushed profusely, only to shake her head and ignore that last bit of information entirely. “Well, we can't use the mirror, because it's not in that other Equestria.”
“Then where is it?” Rarity inquired.
“It's in a third, so far undiscovered reality,” Twilight explained, pointing over to a blackboard I hadn't noticed until now. “Our world and this second Equestria are linked by a primary bridge, this third world has very little magic at all, but that's not what is so concerning about this place.”
On the blackboard were three circles, one that was clearly marked with Equestria, the second marked with Equestria two, which was a pretty unscientific name if I do say so myself. While the third just had a bunch of question marks above it, with several theories written next to it.
“So then what is the concerning thing?” Fluttershy asked.
Twilight frowned, and made her way over to the blackboard, tapping on the mystery world. “As I said, it doesn't have much magic, which is strange in itself, as magic is the only thing that can bridge the gap between realities but that isn't what is confusing. What is confusing is the fact that the crown has been there for years.”
“Didn't you lose that like this morning though?” I asked, looking around at my friends, who all nodded their agreement.
Pinkie Pie gasped suddenly, bouncing over to Twilight. “Unless you had a fake the whole time!”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “That's not how the elements work. Besides, we used them like a month ago remember?”
“Eh, it was worth a shot.” Pinkie Pie said with a shrug.
“Are you sure your calculations are correct?” Rarity offered. “I may not be able to help in that regard but maybe Celestia or someone would be able to offer assistance.”
The alicorn winced, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly. “I haven't exactly gotten a second opinion yet, but I can't go to Celestia. She would be disappointed in me.”
“But Celestia is such a nice pony,” Fluttershy interjected, smiling weakly. “Don't you think she would understand the situation?”
“I guess,” Twilight admitted. “If I don't figure out a way to get it back by tomorrow, I’ll send a letter and let her know what happened.”
“Alright. But you really should think about getting someone else to check things for you.” Rarity added, giving Fluttershy a reassuring smile.
“I know I know. Trust me, there will not be a repeat of last time,” Twilight muttered.
“Good, because I’m pretty sure Mrs. Cake is still scrubbing the cheese out of the carpet.” Pinkie Pie exclaimed with a shiver of disgust.
I opened my mouth to speak, only for something to catch my attention out of the corner of my eye. Looking over, I noticed a small hole roughly the size of my hoof which had just popped into existence at the center of Twilight’s circle. The edges were a mass of swirling chaotic energy that seemed to be every color of the rainbow at once, the center of which was pure darkness.
“Err, what is that?” I asked, pointing my hoof to the now rapidly growing hole.
“I thought you said you weren't going to try anything.” Rarity reprimanded, taking a step back.
“I didn't! This isn't me!” Twilight exclaimed, backing away from the circle, her horn already alight. “Stay back, I’ll try to close it.”
I did as she said and took a step away, only to notice that Fluttershy was rooted firmly in place, a wide look of fear plastered on her face. Before I could react, the portal grew three sizes, and the faint pull I had first felt when it opened, turned into a desperate tug that made my entire body feel a little lighter.
My heart leaped into my throat and just as I was about to leap to the distracted pegasus’ defense, Pinkie Pie was there, her forehooves outstretched and grabbing the poor girl’s torso. The chubby earth pony’s weight seemed enough to keep them down, but I could already tell that things were going to get worse before they got better. The portal was growing ever larger, the pull it had seemingly only affected me and my friends. Papers and loose items remained in place, and as I took a look around I noticed that the whipping wind looked and felt like it was reaching out and trying to grab us.
Rainbow Dash was nearly completely horizontal, the pegasus holding onto a light fixture on the wall. Rarity had managed to grab hold of the large oak table near the center of the room and other than the fact that she was screaming in terror, seemed to be the best off. Twilight somehow managed to anchor herself to the ground with a spell, and she trotted slowly across the room, her jaw clenched tight with focus.
“Hold on Pinkie Pie!” She yelled, trudging towards the sliding pair.
The pink pony could only grunt in response, her natural earth pony magic helping her to stay semi-anchored, but with Fluttershy unwilling to move she was fighting a losing battle. Then, exactly what I feared would happen, happened. The portal yawned wider, tripling in size once more, now easily nine feet wide and double that in height. My grip threatened to slip, but the use of my magic rooted me firmly in place.
I wanted to yell to see if everyone was okay, but the wind was now so loud that my voice was drowned out completely. Instead of yelling, I looked around and found that other than Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, everyone else seemed more or less fine, for the moment anyway. Grips were beginning to slip, and I could see true terror in Rarity’s eyes as even the old oak table began to skid across the floor.
Twilight was just about to reach Fluttershy when Pinkie Pie shrieked in terror, her grip slipping to the point that the pair were now flying through the air. At that moment I hesitated, my mind trying to come up with some action I could do to save my friends. Thankfully Twilight was there and grabbed them in her magic before yanking them down and casting the same anchor spell on their hooves which were on her own.
Unfortunately for us, her concentration waned for a split second, when she accidentally looked into Fluttershy’s eyes and caused her magic to fizzle out of control. In an instant the alicorn was airborne, flying towards the portal without anything to stop her. Rarity’s magic gripped the alicorn’s legs but shattered in an instant, the unicorn unable to counteract the force of the portal’s tug. A second later and the alicorn vanished into the swirling mass of chaotic energy, the last thing any of us saw of her was her wide, terror-filled eyes.
I leaned low and poured everything I had into my magic, willing my body to become as heavy as possible. I wish I could say I was thinking of a plan, or working a way out of here, but at this point, I was so damn terrified that all I could think of was the fact that I might end up having to leave Apple Bloom and Big Mac behind. I am ashamed to admit that I placed my own safety above my friends, and though it was only for a moment, it's a moment I would come to regret for the rest of my days.
At the edge of my vision, I could see Pinkie Pie flying into the portal, the brave pony having put herself between the portal and Fluttershy in an attempt to hold her back. The blank pegasus had not made it easy though, and her limp form flew through the portal a second after Pinkie Pie had. A blur of rainbow light lit up the room, and in an instant Rainbow Dash had flown headlong into the portal, having proved herself braver than me.
My hooves were beginning to slip, and I glanced over at Rarity, our eyes meeting and reflecting the same terror we were experiencing. It felt inevitable, and with the rest of my strength, I resolved to at least try and save the last of my friends. I leaped forward, using my momentum to place myself between the portal and Rarity as Pinkie Pie had tried to do. My head down and my hooves filled with magic I dropped like a stone, the oak table slamming against my forehead.
Gritting my teeth, I held on, trying desperately to keep the table Rarity was hiding under from falling through. I could see the terror in my friend’s eyes as she held onto the leg and I knew she was screaming something, though I knew not what. I did know Rarity though, and I assumed she was trying to be altruistic, telling me to save myself.
No matter what she was saying, I wasn't going to just sit there and leave them without trying something.
For a moment it seemed to hold, my decades of apple bucking meaning my hooves were able to generate far more magic than the average pony and enabling me to stay rooted to the ground. But that was only for a moment, and with a dull boom, I knew the portal had grown wider still.
This time there was no fighting it, and I was in freefall before I could even muster an attempt to stop myself. Flying through the air, I caught a glimpse of Rarity who was flying towards me, hooves outstretched, reaching desperately for me.
I extended a hoof, and just as I was about grab her, everything went black.
And that's how I ended up here.
I smirked, wiping the blood from my hand and eying up another raider fuck who had pulled out a switchblade. Like the others, he claimed I had cheated and had brought a power fist into the ring, and like his last buddy, he was ready to try and exact some wasteland justice.
For the record, I didn't end up right here, in this very moment. I mean the wasteland in general and the combat zone for about two-thirds of that time.
I smirked as the knife-wielding punk ran at me, magic already growing in my fist. The howl of the crowd nearly drowned out the thunder of my heart, the last dregs from the psycho I took still keeping the old ticker thumping.
Psycho was weird like that, you could get a burst of adrenaline all of a sudden and it's like the high never stopped. It was one reason I loved it so much.
The punk’s first swipe was wild and lazy and I dodged to the right easily. I thought about doing something fancy or disarming him, but with the drugs still pumping through my veins, I chose a different path. Dismissing the magic in my hand I took a step back, raised my right leg and delivered a snap kick so devastating that the raider fuck was sent flying into the stands. Drinks were spilled, and swears were yelled, but before all that, bones cracked and organs ruptured.
I knew he wasn't getting up before he even hit the ground and I spun to the last raider, hoping for a fight. The metal-armored girl dropped her knife and took a step back, arms raised over her head. For a second I considered attacking her anyway, a grim part of me wondering if I could punch straight through the mish-mash of metal that was bolted over her chest.
That notion was quickly dismissed though, and I laughed aloud.
“Smart thinking kid,” I announced, extending my hand. “Say, what's your name?”
The raider gulped, glancing at her fallen friend, and noticing that the other people in the stands were already stripping his corpse bare.
“Uh, Crawler.” She muttered, nervously grabbing my hand.
I gave the grimy appendage a good squeeze without going so far as breaking anything, reminding the dumb raider who she was dealing with without injuring her. “Calamity Jane, nice to meet ya.” I announced.
“You want to join us for a drink, Crawler?” Cait asked, stepping next to me and slipping her left hand into my back pocket, grabbing my ass.
The metal-clad raider took one look at each of us, then to the drugs and booze, Cait had gripped in her other hand and stopped. She seemed to think about it for a second before a wide grin exploded across her face. “Why the fuck not? I already lost almost all my caps on this stupid fight, why not go for broke, eh?”
“That's the spirit!” I announced, clapping the girl on the shoulder as I raised a hand. “Jim, she's on my tab!”
“You got it, boss.” Jim the bartender yelled back.
“Hell yeah, let's get this party started.” Cait hollered, raising a glass.
I smirked, my mind already imagining what must lay behind the metal plates that obscured the raider’s chest. “Yes, let's.”
This story might take a while to explain, so bear with me, but don't worry, it's a good one.
