Our Inner Ponies 2: A Race Against Time

Of course Twilight and Fluttershy were looking at me with weird expressions when I said the whole "hello my inner ponies" thing, but their expressions deepened in confusion when I began explaining what had happened recently (except for the whole Pinkamena segments). It took a while, and I was talking fast in case a zombie Discord emerged from the ground and began eating people's brains. After a longer explanation, only Fluttershy looked like she partially believed me. I expected Twilight to be unconvinced right away (i.e. The two parts of the first MLP:FIM episode & Feeling Pinkie Keen), but I didn't have time for that. She and Fluttershy were willing to do their part in for the transportation thing, but of course, Twilight was spitting out a bunch of questions for me and only me. When we were successful and got back to Ponyville, she was still firing questions as we made our way to Canterlot.

"Did being merged feel funny, or did it really hurt? How were you able to be so sneaky earlier today? Is that why you were acting so strange and not like Pinkie? Oh, I knew it! But how'd you know—"

"OMG, do you ever shut up?" I interrupted, stopping in my tracks. "You're making Pinkie look like a normal pony."

"But, um, you are Pinkie," Fluttershy pointed out. Now I was starting to wish I wasn't between her and Twilight. It had seemed like a good idea earlier, but now...

"I know you think I'm Pinkie, but I'm not!" I replied, beginning to walk again. "I'm a human merged with her. And Applejack's not Applejack, Zaria's a human merged with her, too."

"Zaria?" Twilight looked confused.

"Yeah, my BFFL. Best friend for life, in case you were wondering." I nodded toward the orange pony next to Rarity, who wasn't paying attention to this conversation. Something suddenly sparked in my head.

"Twilight, I have a question for you."

"Okay...what is it?"

"How did you and Fluttershy manage to come to our world in the first place? All of us were called to meet the princess, but we left you behind in the forest when I, uh...lost it." Everyone was really silent. Except for Spike who was snickering when I said the words "lost it."

"Well...uh, we kind of followed you all," Twilight stammered. "I used my magic to teleport inside the castle when Fluttershy and I found out your were heading there. The transportation part was kind of tricky, but we managed to go to your world. Then we hid somewhere until you girls woke up."

"So you practically risked your lives just to see what we were doing?" I said. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! If it weren't for Discord, believe it or not, you two would've been stuck in our world forever!"

"Yeah, and if it weren't for Cupcake Girl over here, we would've never gotten out," Zaria added.

"Zaria, shut up," I demanded. "Or I'll go Cupcakes on you next."

"What do you mean by that?" Fluttershy asked.

"Nothing dear," I answered sweetly. "It's nothing to worry about." Pssh, lies, that voice in my head joked. You better hush Pinkie, I thought back. Or YOU'LL be next!

Alright, long, LONG story short: we all eventually made it to Canterlot, but with a slight disadvantage. The guards wouldn't let us in. I don't know if they were new or were just having a bad day, but they wouldn't let us through. They even denied us when Twilight freakin' Sparkle stated herself that she was the princess's star student! Now that was just cruel.

"But we're tellin' the truth!" Zaria insisted for the sixth time. "We need to see the princess now!"

"We weren't born yesterday," the cream colored one sneered. "The princess needs some alone time and has no time to add to the building stress."

"No, we're here to console her about the stress!" Rarity explained. "You see, she sent us a letter—"

"Oh, a letter huh?" the tan colored one interrupted nastily. "Is that the best excuse? A letter?"

"O-M-Jesus!" I cried impatiently. "Just let us inside the freakin' castle so we can see the freakin' princess before freakin' Discord pops up as a zombie and destroys us all!" The guards blinked at my vocabulary. It's not like I cursed or anything.

"Please step away from us before I have you seek a doctor," Cream Guard (that's his new name now) demanded. Hm. This wasn't good.

Guess I'd have to do something extreme. What did that guy in Why Am I Pinkie Pie do? For one, he kept getting needles jammed in his keister, and second, he channeled his "inner Pinkie" when he was stuck in that mental hospital. So I guess that wasn't such a bad idea. How hard was it to form cream pies in your hooves in the first place? So, feeling really self-conscious, I sat down, placed my hooves behind my back, and thought about cheerful stuff. Chocolate sweets, my BFFL, balloons, sleepovers, Krispy Kream donuts...

"Um, what are you doing?" Tan Guard questioned me. "Are you...meditating?"

"Ma'am, this isn't a spa," Cream Guard told me. I opened my eyes and leaned my head to one side.

"I know," I replied in my most happiest and mysterious Pinkie voice. "But you know what treats would be good at this time?"

"Huh?" both guards said at the same time.

"That's right!" I replied all giggly. "Pies!"

I flung my arms at the two guards, grinning triumphantly, but they weren't covered in frosting the minute I removed my hooves from their hiding place. The guards looked at me with stern and confused expressions, and my face started burning with a now fake smile on it.

"I feel stupid now," I said through clenched teeth.

"You look pretty stupid, too," Spike agreed. Awkward with a capital A!

"Uh, whoops!" I said in a shaky voice. "Sorry fellas! No pie for you!" I reached inside my fluffy pink hair.

"Maybe this maple syrup will act as a substitute?" Without another statement, I squeezed the bottle tightly and watched as the sticky sap splattered all over the two guards, drenching them so hard they could hardly move.

"Alright, they're distracted. Now run!" Rainbow grabbed my hoof and dragged me toward the awaiting princess as the others trailed behind.

"Princess Celestia, we're back!" Rarity announced. The pacing princess (does she ever sleep?) looked up and smiled.

"Welcome back girls! How was it? Did you defeat Discord? Were you hurt?" Her questions paused abruptly as Celestia eyed Twilight and Fluttershy. Yeah, can you say busted?

"Twilight, and Fluttershy! How are you?" Dang. I had to give Celestia props. She was acting as if nothing bizarre had happened eight seconds ago!

"Princess Celestia, what's going on?" Twilight demanded. "Why is Pinkie claiming she and Applejack are not themselves, and what's this talk about Discord? Didn't we defeat him years ago with the Elements of Harmony?"

"Well Twilight, I—"

"Princess, may I explain things to them?" I asked politely. Everyone just stared at me, but the princess nodded anyway. Yeah, you better be thankful I'm saving your flank!

"Look girls, I may appear as Pinkie, and AJ may appear as, well, AJ, but we're not really them," I explained. "Two years ago, Zaria and I took this 'magical' quiz that transported me into your body Twilight, and Zaria into Fluttershy's. We all got home safely, but when the princess called for our help, Pinkie and Applejack both volunteered for our bodies to be merged with theirs. Then Discord was behind this whole shredding of time, and—" Twilight held up a hoof.

"So, you're saying that Discord somehow escaped, and you're not actually Pinkie?" I nodded.

"Precisely, my inner pony," I said. "I'm really sorry we tricked you like this, but we had to keep it all a secret from ponies like you. No offense." Twilight rolled her eyes and murmured a small "None taken" in response.

"Soooo....is everything well again?" Rainbow asked.

"Not quite," Celestia answered. "Maya, Zaria, come with me." Oh crap. Hesitantly, Zaria and I followed Celestia to a room full of stained glass windows, designed in all kinds of mystical creatures; alicorns, minotaurs, hydras, etc.

"I have to thank you girls deeply for your brave sacrifice," Celestia began. "And for that, it would be unfair for me to not reward you kindly."

"It's about time!" Zaria teased, bumping into me. I laughed, really excited to see what we were getting. The princess levitated a small box toward us, and inside were two beautiful necklaces designed to look like the actual Elements.

"You two may not be the actual Elements of Harmony," Celestia finished, "but judging by your actions today, I'd beg to differ."

The princess then used her magic to settled the necklaces around our necks. Around the golden metal brace was an exact replica of my own face, smiling widely with Pinkie's Element around my neck. Zaria's necklace was the same, except it had her face with Applejack's Element around her neck. A necklace within a necklace? Sweet!

"Thank you," Zaria and I said at the same time. We looked at each other and grinned, then we simultaneously hugged Celestia, who hugged us right back.

"Now, before you two go home," Celestia said, "I think it's time we unmerged you, don't you think?"

"Aww," I moaned. "I really like being Pinkie. But, maybe some other time we can come back?" The princess let out a little laugh.

"Sure Maya, maybe next time."