Grape Vine

by Mashmaster

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random
Length: 3162

Some monsters just want to be appreciated.

Some monsters don't want to be seen as monsters. Some just want to be appreciated.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-01 03:50:01 UTC

Of Mice And Monsters

Grape Vine was a monster like any other. That it to say that it was completely unique and the only one of it's kind. Unlike most monsters, Vine despised life in the Everfree forest and longed to live among the clean and civilised ponies of Canterlot. Every muddy puddle and easily-squashed insect seemed to be irresistibly drawn to Vine's sleek, purple mass of tentacles and would waste no time leaving obvious and stubborn marks on his normally shiny, stunning skin. At the end of every day he looked a mess. It would writhe around the forest, growing ever so depressed with each and every passing day.

"Poor little me!” it whined one day as it lay in his den “Each night I wash myself but it is of no use. I am doomed to wander the Everfree, becoming dirty and soiled with every movement.” It would often find himself feeling very lonely, wishing on every star that he could finally have a pony friend that could tell it how graceful and beautiful it looked. A rich friend, with lots more friends and a big house. A big house in Canterlot.

"Don't worry, Vine." said a barely-audible voice, "It doesn't matter how dirty you look, you'll always be beautiful on the inside." Vine watched a small grey mouse scamper up one of it's tentacles. "That's the only beauty that counts after all."

Vine couldn't help but giggle at the mouse's naivete. "Jeeves, my little mousy friend. How will I ever be friends with a pony if they become nauseous at the sight of me?"

"It doesn't matter," said Jeeves, stroking his perch with a gentle paw, "I'll always be your friend. You always look beautiful to me." If Vine could have smiled, he would have.

Even if Jeeves was the ugliest mouse in the Everfree, and possibly Equestria, he was still the only creature that had given it a chance. Most creatures simply attempted to kill Vine or ran. On the one time Vine had tried to introduce himself to the nearby village he had inspired mass panic and had been driven back into the forest with fire and spade. Vine carried the mouse to the den's entrance so they could both take in the sunset.

Just like all things in Vine's life, it's house had to be perfect. It was a cave on a cliff, the kind one might go hunting for quarry eels in, facing towards the east with not a single tree obstructing the view of the landscape. From the mouth one could see Canterlot in the distance, sitting elegantly on the side of the mountain. Every morning, Vine got up to watch the sun rise behind the mountain, making the city appear as a silhouette on a sea of warm colour. When the sun finally rose above the mountain and warmed Vine's skin it was time for it's day to begin. It preferred the afternoon though. Vine had never missed the sunset, even though it was impossible to see from the cave.

They were right on time, as always. The land in front of his home was shrouded in darkness but in the distance stood an island of light. Canterlot seemed to glow and the waterfalls shimmered as the darkness crept up the mountain. It was always too fast but the tallest towers of the Royal Palace still clung to the light until the final moment.

As the last trace of sunlight disappeared and the moon began to rise, Jeeves let out a surprisingly loud yawn for such a small mouse. Without waiting to be asked, Vine brought him back into the den and placed him in his tentacle-made blanket.

"One day," said Jeeves, "One day we'll live in Canterlot and you'll be happy. I... I'll open a store. I'll sell cheese and fruit and... peanut butter..." His little mousy head disappeared into the yellow and white folds and he soon began to snore.

That night, as Vine lay down outside it's den to eat it's meagre dinner of horribly bland grass and roots, the stars looked down and felt pity for it. He was suddenly dazzled by a bright flash of white light. When his vision cleared he was no longer alone.

“Who are you and why have you come?” said Vine, fear causing his high-pitched voice to tremble.

“Do not fear, Grape Vine, for it is I, Polaris. I am the greatest of those you call ‘stars’.”

Grape Vine reached forward and touched her powder blue, ethereal mane with a hesitant tentacle. "You're so pretty."

Polaris cleared her throat before continuing, "I come bearing a gift, Grape Vine. A gift that is as much a result of convenience as it is deliberation. I speak, of course, of your wish to spend time amongst ponies." Vine was too stunned to speak. "My sister star has granted you one night of deceit. You will be among the ponies but it shall not be in your own body."

Polaris clapped her hooves together as her horn stared to glow and Vine began to feel strange. It's many tentacles began to wrap around it's centre against his will. Some of the longer ones, the ones it often used for movement, eventually branched off from the ball that was forming and began to twine together into four groups. It's main tentacle, the 'grasper' as it was so often referred as, lay on the ground with many, many smaller tentacles forming intricate shapes and patterns around it. Finally there was a flash of light and there was no longer a monster to be seen. In it's place was a pony.

What is this weird feeling? it thought as his legs kicked uselessly in the air, This is most unusual. You see, Vine had never had to worry about which way he was facing before. When your just a mass of tentacles, you aren't really facing in any direction more than any other direction.

Polaris summoned a mirror in front of the changed monster. "Is this form to your liking?"

Looking back at Vine was a dashing green stallion in a fine red coat with a golden trim. It's- no, his hair was a pale yellow, was ruggedly messy and was tied back in a stylish ponytail. His eyes were a striking tawny that a mare could probably get lost in. He would have been the splitting image of an adventure novel's protagonist if he hadn't been lying on his back.

"I am sending you to the Grand Galloping Gala" said the blue alicorn as she righted the stallion, "but do not tarry too long as the spell will begin to wear off only minutes before sunrise and you will be completely transformed within two-to-ten minutes."

"That's... awfully vague."

"Magic is a fickle thing, Grape Vine, and the most unlikely things can affect it."

"Can I come too?" The two ponies turned around to see a very ugly mouse standing at the mouth of the den, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

The blue alicorn simply closed her eyes and looked blindly skyward for a moment. Then her horn started to glow again. In a flash of light, Jeeves the mouse was replaced by a grey earth pony wearing a shirt, tie, waistcoat and long tail coat. "You shall complete his disguise and keep the time. Remember: you shall not see the sun rise but in your coat you have a fob watch. You must leave before the last star leaves the sky."

As Vine inspected his friend's new form he couldn't help but notice that the features that made him ugly as a mouse conspired to make him a handsome pony. Obviously, he thought, my own features were nauseating before because I had the makings of the perfect pony. He looked at himself in the mirror again, admiring his toned muscles and picturesque appearance. This is the body of a hero.

"When you wish to leave," said the alicorn, "stand under the stars and speak my name." She readied her horn, "Good luck."

To anyone who had happened to be looking at that particular time, they would have seen a very small, strange flash of blue light around the edges of the door. It wasn't a particularly special door and had no guards stationed outside it as it would be very strange indeed for somepony to break into the table storage room. Especially when it was supposed to be empty.

The two stallions stood up, still slightly shaken from their first teleport, and made their way down the unusually empty hallways of what could only be the Royal Palace. The walls were made of only the finest white marble and every pillar was expertly carved into it's uniform shape. There was no way of telling one column from another. Had he had more time, Vine would have stopped to admire the intricate tapestries that lined the walls, basking in the detail and colour with which the scenes of ancient history and legends had been rendered by an expert hoof.

It wasn't long before they happened upon the door to the ballroom and entered the gala proper. It was everything Vine had hoped for.

There were ponies everywhere. All kinds of ponies. Earth ponies, pegasi, unicorns, short ones, tall ones, colourful ones and dull-looking ones. Most importantly, this was obviously a high-class event. There was no shortage of rich-looking ponies that no-doubt had big houses and lots of friends.

"This is it, Jeeves." said Vine as he turned to look at the ex-mouse. The mouse's expression mirrored Vine's own, pure, childish excitement. "This is the dream. I'm going to find somepony to talk to. Why'd you want to come?"

Confusion flashed across the grey stallion's face. "I just wanted to come with you, Vine." He glanced across the room, "I was right!"

Before Vine could even question the outburst, Jeeves was briskly walking towards an exquisite cheese platter. The handsome green stallion smiled at his friend's happiness and then set off on his own quest.

With only one night he had to be particular. He couldn't just introduce himself to anypony and expect to make a good impression. It had to be somepony who wasn't already in a conversation. Somepony who might appreciate a spontaneous introduction. Somepony like that mare standing out on the balcony, obviously waiting for someone of his calibre to step in and make her evening something special.

He swaggered up to the mare, running every possible opening line through his head so that-

"Yes?" She turned, brushing her purple mane out of her eyes. He was speechless, of course. He hadn't considered what he would say if she spoke first. He could have said that her white coat looked particularly stunning in the light coming from the ballroom. He could have said that the stars were beautiful tonight. He could have simply said 'Hello'.

Unfortunately, what he said was: "You're mane is a pretty colour."

The mare was silently shocked. You see, she was used to the suave, practiced words of the upper classes.

By some miracle, the green stallion managed to stop a blush from forming on his perfect features. "Uh, I mean: Good evening, I'm Grape Vine."

"I'm a doctor. I'm not a lady, an heiress or the daughter of anypony you'd know. If you're looking to make connections, you've come to the wrong mare. I'm here because I have to be. You?"

"I'm visiting from my home in the country." Vine said, happy that the conversation had shifted to focus on him so quickly. He then pointed his dashing hoof out towards the Everfree Forest. "You can see it if you look hard enough."

The white mare was unimpressed. "I suppose you're one of those old world nobles who supposedly has claim to land somewhere in the Everfree?"

"No, I just live there." Why isn't she telling me how picturesque I am?

"Are you a forester?" she asked, suddenly interested.

The monster-turned-stallion knew he wouldn't be able to keep up the lying much longer. "Yes," he lied, and stop asking questions!

There was a long silence as Vine shifted his hooves awkwardly. Unicorns aren't all they're cracked up to be. He was about to walk away and regroup and recover with Jeeves, who was now talking to a very attractive, pale orange mare with a cheese wheel cutie mark, when the unicorn finally broke the silence.

"I once read a story about a forester lord." she said softly, "What's it like? Out in the forest, I mean."

"Well, um... it's very green. Lot's of trees." He'd never really thought of the forest, he'd always been looking into the distance at something cleaner, but as he thought about it the details came to him. "In the morning you wake up to the sound of songbirds, even in the deepest, darkest parts of the forest. Then there's the wild flowers that appear in spring. The pollen sticks to you if you go through them but they do look very... pretty."

The mare had now completely turned to face Vine as she listened intently. "Isn't it dangerous?"

"Uh, yes, but survival is all about knowing what to do. Manticores are docile if they don't think you're a threat to them or their families. Chimeras mostly keep to themselves-"

"What about really dangerous ones?" said the mare, almost bouncing with excitement, "What about monsters?"

"Monsters." Vine didn't know what to say. Monsters were as varied as ponies when it came to personality. "I... uh... I chase them away. So they don't scare the townponies. Anyway, there's this one spot, east of the river in the heart of the forest, where a creek runs off the edge of a ravine. The water barely makes it to the bottom..."

So Vine finally had his conversation with a pony but it was not what he expected. They didn't talk about high society, haute couture or Vine's sculpted features, they talked about the forest in a way that made it seem... good. The mare was very well-read and knew quite a lot about the forest already but some of what she said was wrong. She thought that shades couldn't see you if you had your eyes closed. She thought that timberwolves lived up trees. She even thought that razzleberries were completely safe to eat. Unbelievable. They talked for so long that he actually jumped when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

It was Jeeves, the mare nowhere in sight and an expensive looking pocket watch in his hoof. "We have to go."

"Just a moment." said Vine, who was very eager to continue his engrossing conversation on the lack of coordination between hydra heads.

"We... uh, we have a problem. I got carried away."

Vine's head whipped around as he pulled a hitherto unknown pocket watch from his coat. "Five-fifty! She really didn't give us long. We only have a short time before-" There was a ripping noise as a tear appeared on the back of his left foreleg. He turned back to the white mare, "I'm very sorry but I have something I really must attend to. I'm afraid I didn't get your name?"

"Velvet, Twilight Velvet. It was a pleasure to meet you. And your name is...?"

"Mr. Grape Vine. It was-" there was a further ripping noise and the coat's arm bulged to accommodate the divergent tissue. "Uh, goodbye. Nice to meet you too." He turned to follow Jeeves, who was now smoothing his mane down to hide some facial transformation.

"We need to get to an empty balcony or a courtyard or something."

Conveniently enough, there was a door to a small, enclosed courtyard  Thankfully, it was unoccupied or the occupants would have been startled to see what appeared to be a misshapen, seven-legged pony with his grotesque, three-legged valet. They attempted to remove their clothes as the transformation accelerated but Vine was only partially successful.

The beautiful, smooth, red silk of his coat bulged and ripped as tentacles burst forth from where his chest cavity should have been. "Jeeves," he said to the mouse-pony as he crawled out from amongst the folds of his waistcoat, "do you think we'll ever get to come back and make more friends?"

Jeeves was about to answer when the door began to open. "Hello?" said a feminine voice, "Are you in here Mr. Vine?"

Vine tried to prevent the door from opening any further but succeeded only in knocking a precariously balanced vase off its stand, causing it to smash against the floor. She walked in and began to scream. It will never be clear whether she was screaming at the horrible, writhing, purple monster that was standing in the shredded clothes of a recent acquaintance or at the ugly mouse that sat on the floor between them. Maybe it was both.

"Don't be afraid, it's me. Grape Vine." But the White mare couldn't understand the language of beasts, so all she heard was the guttural moan of a monster and her own terrified screams.

Suddenly, a stallion ran in and placed himself in what he perceived to be the path of a rampaging monster. The silly colt hadn't even put on his full suit of armour and his traditional coat dye was only half-applied, revealing the blue coat beneath.

"I somehow don't think she's friends with us anymore." Vine said, ignoring the melodramatic, no doubt practiced, threats the newcomer was throwing at them.

"We're still friends." said the mouse, "We'll be friends for the rest of our life."

Vine stroked the mouse's head, ignoring the two overreacting ponies, and said "Polaris, take us home."

Then they were gone.

Twilight just looked at Pinkie, her mind still trying to process everything she had just said. "Pinkie, what did that have to do with my parents?"

"Silly Twilight," Pinkie said as she closed the book "it's the story of how your parents met."

Twilight just smiled and slid some bits across the counter of Sugarcube Corner and as Pinkie watched her leave she couldn't help but feel a little sad. She hadn't really told Twilight the whole story, it was just a chapter in a much bigger story, and she would probably never believe the whole truth.

As the clock struck four, Pinkie left the counter to the Cakes and began to pack. She had to be on time, you see, because this day only came once a year and there was a single, very special moment on that special day that was absolutely perfect.

Pinkie sat on a cliff side and, as Canterlot became a glowing beacon in a sea of shadow, she held up a cupcake with a single candle to light the way. "Make a wish."

She wasn't alone, of course. Nobody deserves to be alone on their birthday.

The thing somehow blew the candle out and wished that mice had longer lives.