Chapter 5

My home was a small village named Brittle Abode. I guess you could describe it as your typical farming village. At least I suppose. I’d never really been outside of Brittle. It wasn’t a happy place to live.

I feel guilty about speaking ill of my ho—of the place I lived. But no matter how much I want it, I just can’t deny it. It was a dank, gloomy place and the unicorns there were rarely smiling. if at all.

But it wasn’t the fault of anypony. Life was tough. Everypony had to work hard everyday to provide for their families and the community as a whole. And to make matters worse, the young ones had a tendency to not stay for long because of the draft.

As for me. Well… I… never truly belonged in the village. Despite my best efforts. It still saddens me to this day.

I know you want to know how somepony like me had become a soldier but I feel that before, I need to tell you how life was at my home for you to really understand.

There’s a day that always comes to mind when I’m reminiscing about the past.

I was still a young foal at the time. On that day, I went into the general store because I was in need of some supplies for… a project of mine. The shopkeeper, Sturdy Shelf, was in a more foul mood than usual. His furrowing brow was so intense that his eyebrows were rejoining as he was glaring as his accounting book.

Still, it’s my motto to brighten the day of everypony I meet. So I gave my brightest grin, even if it was missing one tooth or two and approached him.

‘’Hi Sturdy. What a good day we have.’’

‘’Yeah, right. Please, get out. My shop is closed for today and—oh! It’s you. Just great. What is it this time Izzy?’’

I’m pretty sure his mood seemed to get worse when he saw it was me, but I tried to keep my spirits high in spite of it.

‘’Well, I want to buy a few things. That crooked lantern that’s there annnnd oh! Those two metal poles that’re there.’’

Tight looked at the items in question, his expression a mixture of perplexity and maybe offense, was hard to tell.

‘’That useless junk! Why? I was about to throw them away. It’s for your weird witchcraft isn't it? All the town knows about your—whatever unnatural things you’re doing in that abandoned barn you call a house.’’

That actually caused my smile to drop a bit. ‘’But… it’s not witchcraft! It’s magic. Just like every unicorns do—

‘’I have no time for lectures. They may be junk but unless you have money, you better scra—

‘’Oh, hum, yeah. I do this time. I do have money. I won it well.’’ I took from my tattered clothes a few copper bits. It’s not a lot but, as he had said, I’d had the intention to buy things nopony wants anyway. They had to be very cheap.

You may think he would be glad to get rid of his useless excess for a little money. But instead, he looked at the bits levitating in his magic aura with slight disdain. ‘’Humm, and by ‘won’, I presume it’s about the time you helped fix the fence of Miss Daisy.’’

‘’Ah! The story spreaded all over town I see.’’ I’d said while sheepishly rubbing the back of my head. ‘’The funny thing is I didn’t even want to ask for bits. I fixed it just because I wanted to help. I wanted to make it a surprise but when I showed Miss Daisy her new fixed fence, instead of being happy, she… growled?! And… threw bits at my face before I had the time to say anything?! Maybe she understood it wrong?’’

That was another odd thing about the town, the ponies just didn’t seem to appreciate kind gestures for some reason.

‘’I can’t blame her reaction. And beside. Carpentry! That’s not a job for mares.”

And my smile dropped further, already I could tell this argument was only going to get more heated.

‘’But, humm, but I'm good at that. So… so why—

‘’Izzy, that’s my point. It’s not normal that you’re good at it. It would be best if you instead learn cooking or sewing. Traditional mare skills. *sigh* Here what happens when a foal has no parents. Nopony to guide it on the proper path. You better have a talk with Elder Preach, you heard me.’’

‘’Oh!! Ooooh.’’ I remembered how bummed out it made me feel. It often happens. It wasn’t just him. The unicorns of my village often saw me as weird. I don’t know about the rest of the kingdom but the ponies of Brittle Abode tend to be traditional. Very traditional. And no matter what I do, I can never fit the mold.

First there’s the… unusual situation concerning my family. By that, I mean my lack of it. I probably should have mentioned it from the start. I just often forget it. But yeah. I’m an orphan. That in itself is already a point working against me. Since ‘Traditional’ family is the pillar of the unicorn community. Or at least that’s what Elder Preach always said.

And to make matters worse, the unicorns of Abode had always thought that I was crazy in the head. Speaking for myself….I can’t say for sure, but I think they’re right. After all, every attempt I make to befriend them seems to backfire and make me belong even less.

‘’So… can I still… buy… these?’’

Sturdy Shelf snorted angrily, looking like he wanted to end the discussion as soon as possible.

‘’If it can make me get rid of you, fine. Just this once. But it’s not normal. You’re not normal and… *grunt* I don’t want to deal with that today. You really didn’t choose a good day to pester me. The profits of this month are bad. And the king raised the taxes once again. So hurry up please and get out. I don’t need more trouble.’’

Though I got what I wanted, I was depressed, but knew there was little point in dwelling on it. After I gave him my bits I took what I needed with my magic. Still wanting to leave on a good note, I gave him a good smile and waved him goodbye.

‘’Goodbye Mister Sturdy. And thanks a lot.’’

Sturdy Shelf didn’t share the sentiment. ‘’Scram already Izzy. Oh and when you have that talk with Elder Preach, don’t forget to give him your respect. Remember, you owe him everything.’’

‘’Of—! Of course.’’ Of course I already knew that. Nopony had more gratitude for Elder Preach than me. Despite that, they always want to remind me. As I stepped out of the shop, I took one last glance behind.

Sturdy Shelf had his muzzle back in his accounting book and his forehead was resting on his fronthoove as he looked so dejected from what the numbers were telling him.

Gone was his grumpiness and anger. Instead, now he looked so tired. But I know well this was a common sight in Brittle Abode. Maybe even beyond.

With a sigh, I went outside in the street. I cheered myself, thinking of all I could do with those props. But they’re quite heavy for a foal of my age. Keeping them in my levitation spell was taxing, so much that I didn't pay attention to my surroundings and I accidentally bumped into another pony and dropped all my stuff.

‘’Ouch! Heh, what gives!’’

‘’Sorry, I wasn’t looking. Oh!’’ The colt that I bumped into was one of my classmates. Blazing Heart. Behind him, were his two friends: Summer Harvest and Sickle Sharp. ‘’Hey guys. Nice meeting you here.’’

‘’Oh no, look who's here,.’’ Said Blazing Heart. ‘’It’s the orphan.’’

‘’Hehe, yeah. That’s– that’s me. The good old Izzy the Orphan.’’ I should mention, the kids of Abode often like to call me by that title more than my name. For whatever reason, they loved making fun of the fact I was an orphan, and I never got why. Honestly, it happened so often I just went along with it. I mean, they never stop so I may as well roll out with it. Like that, even if they make fun of me, I’m laughing with them.

Huh? Why are you looking at me that way? Did I say something weird?

Speaking of weird, Blazing Heart was also looking at me the same way. ‘’But… what are you doing?’’

‘’Oh, hum, well, I was just trying to be funny.’’

Blazing Heart looked perplexed and a little annoyed by my response. ‘’You never understood that the only place where you’re funny is in your head.’’

‘’Hahaha, good one. You always get me good.’’

‘’… Yeah. That’s what I meant. Out of our faces, Orphan. we’re busy… what’s you got there?’’

Sickle Sharp took my broken lantern while Summer Harvest casually rolled up my metal poles.

‘’Hum guys, those are mine.’’

‘’Oh yeah. Looks more like junk to me.’’ Said Sickle, casually balancing the lantern with his hoof. ‘’You want back to rummage the garbage again?’’

‘’Oh no, no. I bought them with my own money.’’

‘’But why would you want to buy… buy that?!’’

‘’Those are props for a little project of mine back home.’’ I went to their ears in secrecy and whispered loudly. ‘’I can’t tell you what’s is. It’s a secret. But when it’s finished, it will blow your minds.’’

I thought it would at least catch their attention but instead, Summer Harvest’s gaze hardened. ‘’Oooh. Very nice of you. So while we are busy doing working hard on our chores all days, you go and rub in our faces that you have none and instead you spend all your time… playing.’’

He then kicked one of my metal poles which I caught with my magic. ‘’Heh wait! I’m not playing. But… it’s not, exactly, work… too.’’

‘’Whatever.’’ Snarled back Blazing. ‘’We don’t care what a drifter like you do.’’

‘’But I live here—

‘’Oh yeah. And what do you do for our town? Nothing, that’s what. And that’s why you have no friends. While you profit from our generosity, we are proud laborers who work tirelessly for our parents and our town. Every. Single. Day. We have no time to play. But here you are, constantly rubbing it in our faces with these huge smiles of yours. You, useless mare, that provides for nopony.’’

By now I was struggling to stay positive, feeling tears start to form while also doing my best to hold my items in place with my magic. ‘’But… bubut it’s–it’s not my fault. I have no family to provide for. I never chose to be an orphan.’’

‘’As if we give a damn. A true unicorn must always live for something bigger than itself. It is our duty to make the jobs of our parents easier as a thanks for giving us birth. It’s our pride.’’ Blazing Heart declared as he hit his chest with valor.

What he just said was something all adults were telling us kids. But Blazing Heart was the one who took that doctrine to heart. His eyes always shined when he talked about his family and although it never was nice to me, I confess I always admired him for it.

‘’And soon, we will be grown enough to make a difference for our town.’’ Blazing spoke, pride burning even more brightly than usual.

‘’But me too! I too want to do something for our town.’’

‘’Oh yeah? And what somepony like you will do when you grow up? Get married?’’Sneered Harvest. ‘’Who would even want to marry you? You have no land. You have no belongings. You have nothing.’’

‘’Hehe, yeah you’re right. Somepony like me will probably end up single for the rest of her life.’’ I said while I laughed with them. Even if it was becoming harder and harder. ‘’But that’s okay with me. I don’t need to marry. Because when I’ll grow up I will become—

‘’You want to know what I will do?’’ Blazing Heart just cut me off. He never ever let me talk.

‘’When I grow up I will volunteer to join the army and defend our country against those evil Pegasus and Earth Ponies who hate our way of life. I will become a great war hero and I will make a lot of money. And I will buy a big house for my parents so that they can finally take it easy.’’

Blazing’s eyes then went wide as saucers. ‘’Oh no! I’m supposed to buy the new shedding tools at the market and I’m getting late! Thanks a lot orphan. You made me lose our time as always.’’ In his anger, he threw dirt at my face.

It landed in my eyes and stung so much I was crying. Still, I tried my best to laugh it off. Even if it was becoming harder and hader. ‘’Wow, nice shot. You got me good, haha… ha.’’ I was cracking and I could feel true tears following the tears of irritation. No, not again. I didn’t want to break down in front of them once more. It never helped. I must be positive, always be positive, then maybe, they will one day see me as a frie–

‘’Can I know what’s happening?’’

We all recognized that voice. That one that was at the same time firm but also so gentle.

Elder Preach himself came to greet us. Every foal, myself included, straighten up their posture. That's how much respect we have for him.

‘’Hello to you all. Say, you’re not causing troubles are you?’’

Though his tone was as gentle as always, the thinly veiled accusation hung over all of us like a weight.

‘’No. No troubles mister. We were just our ways to do our chores on the farm.’’ Blazing spoke quite quickly, trying his hardest to look as presentable as possible.

‘’Ah, it’s a joy to see such diligent youth. Well, don’t let me be on your way. You three kids are the pride of Brittle Abode.’’

Blazing Heart gasped and his eyes shone with so much pride. ‘’Th—thank you Elder Preach. We appreciate it. Have a good day.’’ Then they went their way towards the market.

Once it was just the us two, Elder Preach looked at me. ‘’And you Izzy? Gotten in any trouble recently?’’

He continued to speak in his usual soft voice. I don’t remember ever hearing him raising his voice. It was part of the reason I always felt compelled to tell him the truth when he speaks to me.

‘’I… I did mean to. I want to be friends with them. But somehow, each time I try to have a conversation with, well, anypony, it always ends up that way. I don’t understand. I really don’t understand what I’m doing wrong.’’

By now I was genuinely letting my tears fall as I saw little reason to lie to Elder Preach, who looked at me with sympathy.

‘’I know you don’t mean to. You’re an unicorn with a very kind heart after all.’’

It brought me joy to hear that. Elder Preach was one of the only ponies to ever treat me with any kindness. It was one of the reasons I respected him so much. Not just me. All the village did.

Each time I see Elder Preach, the image of a kind priest always comes to my mind. He had these big round glasses resting on his snout and thick side hair of snow white color like the rest of his mane, all of which gave him a truly gentle appearance that matched his personality. And funny enough, despite being over his seventh year, his face looked so young.

He wasn’t a true priest but he might as well be one. Elder Preach was there during the founding of our village and was unanimously elected leader of our town. Often, he would joke that the only reason they chose him as a leader is simply because he knew a lot about the holy bible.

Everypony looks up to him. Him and his wise words. And me, more than anypony. I wouldn’t be alive without him. Sturdy Shelf was right. I owe him everything.

That’s why my heart grew heavy when his expression soured into a frown. ‘’But Izzy, I think we both know what you're doing wrong.’’

‘’Oh! Hum… I just… wanted—”

‘’Come on Izzy. We already discussed this, remember?’’ He said while putting his hoof on my shoulder.

I look down somberly, practically feeling the guilt weighing down my neck. ‘’Yes. I know. As members of this community, our first duty is and always will be, to not cause trouble.’’

‘’Good job Izzy. And the most important step in not causing trouble is… ‘’

‘’*sigh*To keep your emotions in check.’’

Elder Preach nodded along with my words. ‘’Right. And not just anger or frustration but also those that are more positive. Like even joy. Cordiality is fine. Laughing at a few jokes is too. But your usual exuberance is… well, you already know.’’

‘’I know. But… it’s so difficult for me to believe it. I just can’t understand. Does being happy is wrong?’’

‘’No, you misunderstand. There’s nothing wrong with being happy. As long as you’re keeping it to yourself. Alright, I will try my best to explain it.’’

Elder Preach changed to his tone he used when he tried to act as a teacher for us kids. ‘’You just need to look around to see it’s a harsh time for everypony. We’re barely getting by. And we constantly fear being invaded by our enemies. Everypony is extremely stressed right now.’’

He tapped my back, his way of saying to be extra attentive. ‘’I think you already understand why you should not show anger or frustration. If you express your problems then those nasty feelings would propage to the other ponies around you. When they already have their own problems. They will feel your anger and pain on top of their own. It would be like giving your problems to them. Emotions are contagious after all.’’

‘’I know that. That’s why I always try to give my brightest smile everyday. I hope that by being joyful, the ponies around me would become more happy.’’

Elder Preach smiles at me and ruffles my mane a little, making my own smile return if only a little.

‘’Rest assure, I know well you had those kind intentions. But I’m afraid to tell you that this is not how it works out. You see, when somepony sees somepony joyful, very often they tend not to feel joy but instead, envy that he doesn’t feel the same way as that pony.’’

‘’Wha—what!’’

Elder Preach’s smile dropped as he looked around at the town. ‘’Yes, it’s sad but in this day and age, it’s more true than ever. Now, can you really blame the ponies around you for acting the way they do? By acting so cheerfully, it’s like you’re rubbing in their face how better your life is compared to them.’’

‘I… I do! But but—I didn’t mean it. I swear.’’

‘’I know. Rest assured. I’m not saying that to blame you Izzy. I just want you to make you understand how to properly fit in. A smiling face may seem fine on paper…’’

Elder Preach hardened and for a moment, I felt very small. ‘’But in the end, a face of stone is always better. Learn to have a face of stone Izzy. Just like the rest of us.’’

I lowered my head. ‘’I understand Elder Preach.’’

He went back to usual fatherly smile that reassured us. ‘’Izzy. You are very smart. I know that even if it takes time, you eventually learn what needs to be done. That’s why I’m not worried about you.’’

‘’Thank you Elder Preach.’’ I said genuinely, even though my heart was heavy. ‘’You are so good to me.’’

‘’Don’t mention it. Now, enough about me taking your time. I think you have something to do.’’

‘’Oh right!’’ I took back all my belongings and got ready to go back home. ‘’Goodbye Elder Preach. It was nice to see you.’’

‘’The sentiment is the… … Izzy? Are those things for… … nah. Just one lesson for today. Goodbye Izzy. And don’t forget about your school homework. And also to show your respect to our king and the previous queen during class.’’

‘’I will. Bye.’’

‘’Come on. Come. Oooon. Will you give up.’’ I said as I pulled with all my strength and magic, a quite sturdy root of a tree that I had dug up. ‘’Youuu, willl, beeee my suppeeGHYA!!!’’

Finally it snapped and I fell backwards. I was a little dizzy from the fall but seeing my prize levitated in front of my face quickly got me back to my senses. ‘’Oh yes! This one is plump and juicy. If I ration it wisely, I can have it for days. Huh! Is that a nest up there?’’

Looking up at a nearby tree I confirmed that yes, it was one. Without further ado, I climbed up the tree to the branch it was resting on.

I became very good at climbing trees with time. It’s one of my favorite games.

In that nest, there were five, yes, five succulent bird eggs. ‘’It’s my lucky day today! I will have a nice omelet tonight. … … But I kinda feel bad. I think I will just take three and leave two for mama bird. Don’t want to leave her without a family.’’

With my already nice bounty I searched for more food.

The forest I lived in may at first seem intimidating but it’s actually a very peaceful place and with time, I knew it like the back of my hoof, especially the best spots to gather food. For example, there were bushes that were often full of delicious berries. And also where to find a lot of nuts. Very important if I wanted provisions that can last winter.

With my basket full of food, I went home.

My home is an old abandoned barn. Nopony remembers who it belongs to. So I claimed it as my home. It’s may not look like it but—

‘’Wait! Izzy stop—

—just stop for a moment. I’m confused.’’ Sunny said as she interrupted Izzy's story.

‘’Yeah Sunny. Is there something wrong?’’ Izzy asked, slightly perplexed.

‘’I know you say you were an orphan but… Izzy, you were homeless!’’

‘’No. Not homeless. I had my barn. My home in the forest.’’

‘’That’s not what I meant. Why were you living in the forest in the first place? You don’t live in Brittle Abode?’’

‘’Well, hum, no. Not… not exactly.’’

‘’But that’s where I’m lost. You’d said that this Elder Preach saved you. That you had a debt to him.’’

‘’Yeah. By allowing me to wander Brittle Abode whenever I want. And to be allowed to have a home near it. If it wasn’t for him, Brittle would have forbidden me access and would want to chase me out each time they saw me. But thanks to Elder Preach, I had a place that tolerate me.’’

A grim silence hung over the group.

‘’Tolera…! Izzy! That’s… how can you think this is normal? You were a child, a child without family that had to take care of yourself alone! Did nopony wanted to took you in?’’

Izzy paused. She was trying to smile but it was clear she was being uncomfortable.

‘’ Well, Elder Preach did try once to find a family to take care of me. But they all refused. Each one already had too many mouths to feed. They couldn’t afford another one. Elder Preach did warn me to not get my hopes up.’’

Everypony was flabbergasted. And it didn’t help that Izzy said it in such a matter of fact tone. ‘’But Izzy,’’ said Hitch. ‘’What about relatives? Even if your parents were gone, you didn’t have any relatives?’’

‘’Oh, about that. Hummm… I don’t know.’’

‘’You don’t know! How can you not know?’’ Hitch facehoof himself and took a deep sigh. ‘’Alright Izzy. I should have asked this question first. How did you lose your parents? Did they die? Did they abandon you?’’

‘’… … I… don’t know. I have no idea who my parents were. So I have no idea if I even have relatives. The truth is… I don’t even know if I’m from Brittle Abode or from outside.’’

‘’What!’’ Shouted Hitch.

‘’I know it sounds strange but I can’t remember my early childhood. I think my earliest memory is me as an even younger foal, wandering the streets of Brittle but, hum, that memory is pretty much all a daze. The only things clear that I remember is that my stomach was really empty and that everything hurt. Before that, it’s just a blur that I can’t make sense of.’’

‘’Wha—whaaat!’’

‘’It’s the people of Brittle that gave me the name of Izzy. As for Moonbow, I gave myself that last name. I really love looking at the moon. I thought Izzy was a too lonely name by itself. So…’’ A sad smile formed on Izzy's lips. ‘’So I invented for myself this fantasy of me having a full name. Izzy Moonbow. But anyway, that’s why I can’t answer on… where I came from. Sorry.’’

Everypony present wasn’t sure what to feel. Hitch, regardless, questioned her more.

‘’But what about Brittle Abode? They should know something!’’

‘’I tried a few times. But they never gave me straight answers. Actually, they never gave me a straight answer for anything. Elder Preach dismissively ignore my questions, saying it’s not important and that I should focus more on what I should do to give more for my town so, in the end, I gave up on asking.’’

Izzy scratched the back of her neck, not really knowing how to act. ‘’Sometimes, I think that in the end, they were simply as in the dark as me. That they don’t know where I come from. But even that they never confirmed or denied it. A shame, right. Huh! Wh—why are you looking at me that way?’’

The unicorn was surprised to see Hitch, his eyes wide in shock, covering his mouth as if to muffle a scream. In fact, everypony in the room was looking at her with a mix of shock and pity.

‘’I—I don’t understand. What did I say? Why are you all looking at me as if you feel bad for me? Am I I am… Am I supposed to feel bad?’’

As she asked this question Izzy felt something on her face. She brushed it and was surprised to find it wet with tears. ‘’Huh! Where did it… I… I don’t understand.’’

I think it’s best that I go back to my story. I need to explain the true cause of why I am in this mess.

My powers.

I’m not sure I can properly explain why I’m good at manipulating the elements. It’s just something I do really well. At first, it wasn’t impressive at all. When I was young, I could only summon a tiny ember or an insignificant spark.

Like with everything else I did, the villagers of Brittle Abode didn’t like when I was doing that. It freaked them out. Sure, unicorns have a knack for magic. Some of them could even become powerful magicians. But still, there was some type of magic that was rare, even in the country of spell casters.

Manipulating the forces of nature was something that wasn’t well documented apparently. Even ponies who had no knowledge of spellcraft could tell at a glance that my magic was unique and unusual. And the traditional ponies of my town didn’t like what’s unusual. I quickly understood that it was best to not do my magic in front of them.

Emphasize on not in front of them.

Once I went back to my barn I put the food in a safe place. I really consider this barn my home. When I found it I was so sure it was a blessing of the gods. I still do today.

When I first found it, it was in a pretty dilapidated state. Not a good place to live in. Luckily, it wasn’t unsalvageable and some bits of timber were left around but I had to learn all on my own on how to patch it up. It wasn’t easy. It took months of trial and error, along with a lot of splinters, but I managed to perform a rudimentary job in making my home more liveable.

There’s still tons of leaks during rain and the cold drafts are quite bothersome, especially during winter, but my home wasn’t still bad, right?

Plus, it taught me I was really good at crafting things.

Speaking of crafting. It was time for my little project. I took the broken lantern that I had bought. Then, I went to my pile of discarded church vitrail. The glass maker made them to replace the old ones but his first batch was a mess so he just threw them away. I took them since I found them so pretty. And nopony would miss them anyway so I allowed myself to spirit some away.

I took the biggest pieces and stuck them to the now empty faces of the lantern. It’s a very rugged job but making it pretty was not my goal.

Now for the most important and tricky part.

I focused on my mind and from the tip of my horn, a little flame appeared. I made it fly into the lantern, closed the hatch and then… oh it was so magical. Lights and colors of all kinds illuminated my house. Red, blue, purple, yellow. I could even make my flame slightly more intense to make the colors even shinier.

It was truly a sight to see.

‘’It’s even prettier than I thought. Now let’s see what happens if I combine it with my other idea.’’ Looking up I spotted the rope hanging from my roof and quickly cast an ice spell on it.

This requires even more concentration than the fire. With my mind, I made the ice slide slowly down the rope until it reached the tip. Concentrating so much hurts my head quite a bit but I make the ice take shape and solidify into a five-branched star. And voilà! I just made a nice hanging ice sculpture.

‘’Humm that’s not bad. Sure it’s a little butchered and some branches are too long, but it’s still an improvement compared to last time. Now, let there be light.’’

With another flash of magic, I projected the colored light on the star and it too changed color. It wasn’t impressive but the goal was to see if it was working. ‘’Damn I’m good. I knew I could use my ice that way. All I have to do is practice on completing complexifie its shape and it would become something, ummm, breathtaking! Yes, that’s it,. bBreathtaking. Okay, hNow, the last one.’’

This time I went outside. I’d already stuck three metal poles into the ground to form a triangle. From my horn, I cast lighting on the pole in front of me and just as I thought, the purple energy also spread to the two others behind it, which in turn, shared the electricity, closing up the triangle. It was like a flowing ribbon was surrounding them.

‘’Yes! YES! I was correct. Lighting does get attracted to metal. Even though I have not a single idea why WHAH!!!’’ A stray bolt flew off from the rest and landed right on my rump of all places. My spell was interrupted as I was rolling on the ground. ‘’Ow ow ow ow Ow. Ooh that stings, that stings.’’

In spite of the literal shock, I just laughed it off. ‘’Okay, okay. Next time, I should think more about safety. Don’t want to repeat the barn nearly catching on fire. And although interesting, I don’t see how I can use that as a trick. But it’s alright, that’s why I experiment. And with practice and hard work, I will get better with my magic and create all kinds of amazing tricks.’’

With the electricity dispersed, I took one rod with my magic and waved it as if it was a staff. ‘’I will become a great magician. One day I will master my weird magic. And that day I will be…’’

I boldly pointed my makeshift staff right at the sun. ‘’Izzy, the Greatest Showmare of all. I will make shows full of colors and wonder, where the eyes of everypony shine with glee. All thanks to my magic. And then…’’

I gazed at the direction of Brittle Abode as wind caressed my mane. ‘’One day. One day, I’ll show them all what Izzy the Orphan is really capable of. That I can be more than that. I will make them so happy. And at last… they will smile at me.’’

Izzy took a break from telling her story.
.
After hearing her tale, something resonated within Pipp. ‘’Izzy! So tThat’s all you wanted to do?! You just wanted to make fun shows?!’’

Izzy nodded. ‘’Yeah, I know now that saying it like that may sound stupid. I was born with a rare gift and I waste it on parlor tricks! I too read about all these mighty magicians from storybooks using their magic for all kinds of things, but frankly, I never was interested in having power or smiting foes. The idea of hurting ponies makes me sick.’’

‘’Then why did you try to perfect this magic? What’s more, from what you told, your village didn’t like it.’’

‘’Yes, they found it creepy. Each time I was doing it in public, I was always severely sermoned and bea… and other things. I quickly learned to not use it among other ponies. Still, it was mine. It was something only I could do. And even though they called it obscene, I just was never able to fully agree to not use it. I wanted so much to use it for something good. But it’s not the only reason.’’

Izzy took off her hat and firmly pressed against her heart for comfort. ‘’The truth is my magic was only ‘one’ part of me they didn’t like. In their eyes, everything about me was wrong. My origin, my positive attitude, my head. Oh especially my head.”

The unicorn slightly knocked her hoof against her head for emphasis. “I never really managed to fully understand the customs and unspoken rules of my home. That’s why they said I was loony in the head and called me the idiot of the village. And those were the most polite names. That’s why I hoping to become a great showmare because…’’

Izzy lowered her eyes. ‘’Instead of being a crazy pony who does weird magic… I could have become a creative pony who can make wonders. And then… then maybe I would have a place somewhere.’’

Tears were streaming from Pipp's eyes and she had to muffle her cry. No longer able to contain herself she lunged at Izzy and to her surprise, embraced her in a tight hug. ‘’Oh Izzy. I understand. I understand so much. You were so brave to try something at such a young age. You are a wonderful pony. More than me for sure.’’

‘’Thanks… Pipp. I’m glad that you think so. Even if it’s so hard to believe that.’’ Tears formed in Izzy's eyes as she accepted the hug.

Zipp, for her part, tilted her head to her side in confusion. ‘’Izzy, not to sound rude, but I’m even more perplexed than before. If your goal was to make fun shows then why did you end up fighting in the war?’’

Izzy tries to wipe her tears with her hoof. ‘’Oh right! That’s the reason why we have this discussion in the first place. The answer will disappoint you on how banal it is.’’

It all started the day of the drafting. The soldiers of the king had come to recruit young and strong ponies to deploy to the front. It’s not an uncommon occurrence at Brittle Abode. The army was in constant need of new troops somepony once told me.

On that day, the sky was covered in thick clouds that were as gray as the mood the unicorns who had been chosen to rejoin the army. But one of them was instead beaming with pride. Blazing Heart.

He had not been drafted. He volunteered of his own will. For years, that’s what he wanted and couldn’t wait the moment he would reach the age of adulthood. When the soldiers came, he didn’t wait and galloped towards them.

And now, Blazing Heart, while proudly wearing the armor, was saying his heartfelt goodbye to his parents.

‘’Be very careful son.’’ Said his dad, Ashen Heart.

‘’Once I get money, I will send it back to you. You won’t have to worry about the farm.’’ Blazing said with love.

‘’Yes, this would be a big help. I’m glad we had you.’’

With his piece said, Blazing went his way towards the wagon where three other recruits were already sitting. On his track, he passed in front of me and he stopped to give me a quick look.

Blazing had always treated me like trash but today, I couldn’t read his expression. To my surprise, he even said ‘’Take care of yourself.’’

As the wagon went away, Blazing waved his hooves to all of us while saying he will make us all proud. I confess, even I admired him a bit at that moment. I was feeling I understood so well. The need to make others proud. So even if I’m sure he didn’t notice me, I also waved him goodbye and wished in the deep of my heart that he would come back safe and regale us with the tales of his exploits.

But alas, it was never to be. Barely two weeks later, we received news from the army. Blazing Heart was gone. Another pony we will never see again.

It really seemed that each day was becoming greyer than the previous one. It was even more true since we lost Blazing. After receiving the news, all the village seemed to have fallen into a bog of resignation. Still, I didn’t give up.

Quite the contrary, I was more motivated than ever. And with years of practice, I managed to greatly improve on my tricks.

‘’And the knight raised his sword high, shouting: ‘You vile beast. You have terrorized those ponies long enough. Go back to the pit of hell from which you came.’’’

I became so good at mastering fire that I could make figures made of flame, even get them to move a little just like marionettes.

On my hooves, I’d create a little pony of fire, wielding a sword, facing a fiery beast three times its size. ‘’The beast lunged at the swordpony, its giant claws ready to tear him apart. But then, SLASH.’’

With a swing of his sword, the knight decapitated the beast, with both figures dissipating after, I giddily tapped my hooves from how successful it was.

‘’Oooh the kids are gonna love it. Now I just have to learn to make them bigger. Oh! And I should also learn how to make exciting stories to keep the audience captivated. I can’t wait.’’

A little tired from this effort, I sat on my makeshift chair. ‘’If only I had a magical staff like those wizards in the storybooks. I could do awesome magic more easily. Oh Well. Even without it, I still managed to be quite impressive if I do say so myself.’’

With my horn, I casted ice on the suspended rope. Yes. The very same rope used in my dripping ice trick. Only this time, the icy star is way more complex, with too many branches to count. With one swipe of my horn, I made it explode into thousands of tiny sparkles that flew all over. It was like a starry sky had appeared on the very roof of my barn. This was by far my favorite trick.

‘’It’s beautiful.’’ I spoke in awe, content to simply look and watch as the stars I made slowly faded away.

*Knock**Knock* *Knock**Knock*

‘’WHAAA!!!’’ I was so surprised I jumped out of my chair and fell. ‘’Ow. Wha—what! What was—

*Knock**Knock*

‘’No way! Could it be!’’

It was real! Somepony was knocking at my door! It was the very first time it happened.

‘’Visitors? I have visitors! Oh yes, oh yes, I knew it. I knew it would eventually happen. I waited for this moment for so long. What are you doing Izzy dummy? Don’t just stand there, open the door.’’

I ran like the wind and turned the handle while my hoof was shaking with excitement. Behind it was none other than Elder Preach, all smiling. ‘’Hello Izzy.’’

‘’Elder Preach! It’s so good to see you. Please, come in, come in.’’

‘’How cordial of WOAH!!!’’ I took his hoof and guided him inside. I confess it was a little forceful but can you blame me? Receiving ponies into my house was a dream of mine.

I put him on another makeshift chair that I made and went to my pantry and quickly worked to make tea. Well, I say tea but it’s actually some herbs I found in the forest mixed with plain water but it’s very good. Heating it it’s not a problem with my fire magic.

Once ready, I gave the cup to Elder Preach. ‘’Here. It’s my best blend that I keep for occasions like this.’’

‘’My, that’s very…’’ But without even glancing at his cup, he simply deposited on the stool next to him. ‘’But that’s quite alright. I’m here because mostly, I wanted to see how you're doing.’’

‘’I’m in tip top shape as you can see.’’ I said while doing a little jig. ‘’Some winters are tough but for the most part, I generally accumulate enough food to stay healthy.’’

‘’Yes, you did grow into a fine young mare. Always so… resourceful?’’ His gaze turned towards the gizmo I invented, using the electrical poles as an inspiration. I will spare the details but I made a device with a small pole whose tip is inside a glass ball. It constantly produces electricity coursing inside that sphere.

‘’Ah, you see my latest creation. I made myself. It took a lot of time and trial and error to made it.’’

‘’I… see. And what does it do?’’ Elder Preach eyed the object with a fair amount of trepidation while trying to keep his smile.

‘’Well… nothing, really. It’s just pretty.’’

My response left the Elder just blinking for a few seconds before continuing. ‘’Hum… well it’s good we speak about it because… there’s another reason I’m here. It concerns your magic.’’

‘’Oh! Ohhh I—I see where this is going.’’ I say while lowering my head in disappointment. ‘’You’re here to tell me this is wrong to practice my magic. I know you’ve warned me but please you let me show you what it can do—

‘’Now calm down.’’ He raised his hoof to interrupt me. ‘’Don’t worry Izzy. I’m not here to sermonize you. In fact, it’s all the opposite.’’

‘’Wait what!?’’ I honestly wondered if maybe I overdo my magic before and was hallucinating.

‘’Yes but… but before, there’s something I must confess.’’ Elder Preach then did something I’d never see him do. He slumped on his chair and sighed apolitically. ‘’I know well we didn’t do a very good job at making you welcome. To be frank Izzy, we had not a single idea what to do with you. Since everything about you was… and that you could do those things with the elements, something no unicorn had seen before, sure didn’t help.’’

‘’I know. I’m sorry.’’ The worst part is… I really believed I should apologize.

‘’But now, I recently see what you can do in a whole different light. I now think your gift isn’t a bad omen, pardon my language, but instead just that. A gift. I’m now even sure that it's the gods themselves who give you that gift and that it is for a reason.’’

I was so surprised I forgot how to close my mouth. But I also felt joy. So much joy. This was what I always dreamed. For ponies to see this part of me as something beautiful. I was scared that this was too good to be true, that this was just a dream. ‘’You—you really think so!’’

‘’Yes. I think I know in which way your mastery of the elements can be used for the great good and frankly, I’m ashamed to not had thought of that earlier.’’ Elder Preach expression became more solemn. ‘’No need to tell you, but we’ve been at war for a long time. Even before I was born, can you believe it?’’

Naturally, he wasn’t teaching something new. The war was always there, you couldn’t go a single day without being reminded of it. ‘’Of… of course I know we’re at war. But I don’t like to think about it. I always did my best to learn the less about if I can't.’’

My words seemed almost offensive to Elder Preach. ‘’Izzy. That’s very disrespectful of our soldi… nah. Right now it’s not important. But what’s important is that because of it we have lost nearly all our young. You remember when the army told us that Blazing Heart had disappeared?’’

‘’How could I forget? His father had been so furious. I had the scare of my life. I was expecting him to be sad. Not angry at him and accusing him of being a coward and that he ran away. Blazing had always been proud of his kingdom. I just don’t see him being a deserter.’’

Elder Preach seemed to agree, nodding solemnly.

‘’Yes. It was… quite something. I tried to reason with him, to tell him that being officially ‘missing’ didn’t necessarily mean that Blazing ran away. That he may have died a hero and that they just couldn’t find his remains. But sadly, I failed. He is steadfast that his son turned tail and ran… anyway, his attitude is heartbreaking.’’

‘’I couldn’t believe my ears. Despite how mean he was, he was always devoted to his family. But then in one moment, his parents threw away this devotion as if it was never there. Did they only care about the money Blazing could make?’’

‘’Don’t be so hard on them. It is the duty of children to take care of their parents. It’s just that duty, sometimes, requires them to go far to risk their lives. And sometimes… they fail. We’re losing so many. Sometimes, I wonder if there’s something we can do to make their duty easier. That’s where I hope you will come in.’’

‘’What are you… saying?’’ He genuinely had no idea where he was going.

‘’I’m saying that your magic could save a lot of lives.’’

My heart leaped after hearing that. My only wish was to be useful but to hear that ‘me’ could save lives. This was going even beyond my wildest dreams. I jumped out of my chair and nearly kneel at his hooves. “Really? Really! You’re serious!’’

‘’Quite so. I know you always wanted to help and I think that time as come.’’

‘’For real! I could help the village?’’

‘’The village! No no Izzy. It’s all the kingdom that you will help.’’

My head was spinning. I felt so much joy that I’m sure sparkles were shining in my eyes. ‘’All-all-all the kingdom! My magic can do that! I-I-I did not know! Elder Preach, I will help, of course I will help.’’

‘’I knew you would accept. With the power the gods gave you, you will protect us all by smiting all our enemies.’’

‘’… … … … heh!’’ At that moment I wasn’t sure why but my ears seemed to fail. For whatever reason I couldn’t understand what he’d said. The words just couldn’t make sense.

‘’I mean, you’re perfect for that role. There’s no more fearsome troops than our battle mages. And you Izzy might become the mightiest of them all.’’

‘’Battle ma… Hum. Elder Preach. I’m sorry I… I really don’t understand. What are you… telling me? You want me to use my magic on ponies?’’

‘’Izzy. I understand it might be a lot but there’s no greater honor that —

‘’WO WO WO WO. You’re asking to use my magic on… PONIES!!!’’

Elder Preach looked at me now looking almost perplexed, as though my question was somehow bizarre. ‘’Why… yes.’’

I was flabbergasted. Once I realized he was dead serious, the idea of me hurting ponies kept spinning and spinning into my head to the point I became agitated.

‘’No. No no no you can’t be serious! Have you any idea how dangerous my magic can be?’’ In my panicked state, I showed him a burn mark on my hoof. ‘’Look, look, I burned myself by accident last week and it hurt a lot. What would it will be like if I threw all my fire at a pony?’’

‘’Izzy. You misunderstand. We’re not asking you to hurt our enemies. We’re asking you to kill them so they won’t kill us back.’’

Silence rang out through the house, the words just spoken hanging over my head like a guillotine.

“Ki… kill!” I… I couldn’t even mutter a word.

‘’Izzy. You seem to have a misunderstanding.’’ His face became grave. ‘’The ‘ponies’ you’re afraid to hurt are not ponies. They’re pegasi and earth ponies. Godforsaken people that only wish to end us all. They deserve no mercy from us.’’

‘’But-but—

‘’Izzy, you must realize one day that your control of the elements is more than pretty. You must have thought how destructive that power is.’’

‘’No no, I never ever thought about using it that way.”

Elder Preach’s expression started to grow harsh. ‘’By the gods Izzy. You can cast cleansing flame and make divine levin fall from the sky. You must at least thought once it could be use for war.’’

‘’No no, it never crossed my mind.’’ By now I felt myself starting to panic, struggling to make sense of what was going on. Why was this happening? ‘’Why are you doing this? Why do you want me to kill? Why do you want to send me… I could die! Please don’t-don’t make do this.’’

I fell down on my knees and cried. ‘‘Please. Please don’t make me do this. I’m scared. They never came back. Everypony that went to war never came back. Please Elder preach, please I beg of you. I don’t want to hurt. I don’t want *sniff* want to hurt. Why… do you want me gone?’’

Elder Preach went to my side and gently rubbed my back. ‘’Izzy. Do you want the village to accept you?’’ I raised my head and gazed at him, confused at what it meant.

‘’I know that being accepted has always been your greatest wish. Well, that’s why I’m here. To tell you that you have a chance to impress them. Yes, I won’t lie. It will be dangerous aAnd you may die, even with your power. But, if you come back, Brittle Town will welcome you as a hero. And if not, you will be remembered as a hero. The Great Izzy. There’s no greater honor than that.’’

Even though he spoke those words in the same kind tone he’d always spoken in, his words were no longer comfortin but… I don’t know how to describe it.

‘’I…I…’’ Despite how terrified I was, his words weren’t leaving my head. I worked so hard to find acceptance. But… does sacrifice yourself not the ultimate proof of how selfless–

When I thought that, I got spooked. I knew I shouldn’t believe that but then why… why was a part of me finding it was making a lot of sense! ‘’But–but–but my magic tricks? My shows? I had planned to make everypony in town happy with them. Can’t I help my people with that?’’

‘’Ah yes. About that.’’ Elder Preach took off his glasses, rubbed them with his tunic while looking sorrowful. ‘’It breaks my heart to tell you that but it would lead to nowhere. Even if you succeed at making a show out of… whatever you’re doing, Brittle Abode wouldn’t have cared.’’

‘’Wha—but… but why?! I worked on making my magic pretty so it could make them smile.’’

Elder Preach sighed as he returned his glasses to his face.

‘’That’s my point. You are just making it pretty instead of useful. By the gods Izzy, you’re wasting your time at making art. In this world, there’s nothing more useless than art. It’s a distraction that solves nothing. The true way to help a community is to do concrete things. Like making food or giving services. Or eliminating what threatens us.’’

I… I was so heartbroken that I didn’t have the strength to say anything. Was everything I did pointless? Elder Preach is the grown-up. They know far more than us, right?

He raised from his chair and looked at me with the soothing smile I saw so often. ‘’Izzy. You are very smart. That’s why I know you will understand the true reason the gods gifted you with this power. And how much you can give to us.’’

He tapped me on the head just like when I was a foal. ‘’This discussion went on for a little too long and I can see that you’re a little overwhelmed. That’s alright. It’s a decision too important to make in one day.’’

He opened the door to exit. The light of day was particularly bright, making the figure of Elder Preach darkened in contrast. ‘’I’ll come back tomorrow and the day after. Rest assured Izzy, I’ll be there to help you make the right decision. See you soon.’’

And he went away. Leaving me alone with my thoughts. Even though it was difficult for me to think.

My hooves were shaking and my teeth were chattering. My entire body simply refused to stay still.

Do you know the most funny part? At the time, I genuinely couldn’t understand why.

And then one day, it happened. It was my turn to find myself on the back of a chariot whose job was to bring me far away from the only home I’d ever known.

My last day on Brittle Abode was even more solemn than Blazing Heart. Nopony even said goodbye to me, then didn’t even utter a single word. They just looked at me in silence as I went away. That makes it more surreal.

Regardless, once they got their new recruit, the soldiers didn’t lose time with formalities and shouted at their two dragon mounts to start running.

As we went away, I couldn’t detach my gaze from Brittle Abode who was getting farther and farther away with each passing moment.

It all felt like a dream. I understood nothing! I didn’t understand how I ended up in that situation, I didn’t understand where I was going.

And when the only home I ever knew disappeared from the horizon, all I could do was tremble. Wishing to wake up from that bad dream that didn’t want to end.

Author's Note

This chapter is basically the backstory chapter of Izzy. I'd always been a hge fan of chapters and episodes who focuses primarly telling the past of a character since they are captivating stories inside another story. Initialy, my goal was to write the whole backstory of Izzy in one single chapter but I quicly realize that there was too much too tell so I seprate them in two. The other half will be in the next.

Eventually, each characters will have their own backstory chapter. I'm a huge fan of stories where the details are gradually told latter on. You may have found some strange points that, at first,were mentions for no apparent reasons. All I can tell, is that everything is here for a reason and that will be properly explain when the time come.

Next chapter is Izzy time in the military. It wasn't exactly a pleasant one.