Eternal flame of Daybreaker

Darkness. A bit cold. It feels like standing on a spring night in just a T-shirt, with a cool breeze blowing over you. Mmm, good memories. There's something... warm about them.

Wait, hold on. Where the hell am I? There's nothing but darkness, pitch black. I feel like I'm moving, but I don't know how. I try to turn... Nothing happens... Why? And then I realize I don’t have a body in the usual sense. Almost instantly, the last memories flashed before me, confirming my assumption. I realized I had died that ill-fated day, being hit by a train. I was pushed on purpose — I saw it myself. That damn bastard, William Davis, killed me, that son of a...

Just three months, maybe four, and I would have made it into the board of directors of the company and started living a full life. I would’ve done whatever I wanted, without caring what anyone else thought—within legal limits, of course. I’d have bought a brand-new car straight from the factory, making all the subordinates jealous. Maybe I’d even have started a romance with Marina, and after a year, we’d probably get married.

Looking back at my life, I realize that there were very few pleasant or good moments in that long span of time. The only good things that come to mind are rock band albums, or that childhood cartoon, or maybe even the guitar lessons in university.

My childhood was a mess: constant loneliness, lessons, and my mother's supervision. I understand why she "raised" me that way. She drilled into my head from childhood how cruel life can be and how everyone you trust can turn against you. Honestly, her parenting methods were far from ideal. Deep down, I wanted parental love more than anything. Every child does. Maybe if my mom had shown me how much she loved me, despite the cruelty of the world, I would’ve turned out differently. Maybe she did love me, but she never showed it, prioritizing a grim detachment instead. I became a cold person because of her. It’s like that famous saying: “In the end, we all become the person we were most afraid of turning into.” These thoughts made me feel strangely sad and melancholic.

Wait, stop, no time for a depressive mood. Where am I, anyway? I can't turn, can't move.
"What can I even do?"

Nothing, really… Ah, I can see, but only what's ahead of me, not around. I can think, so I must exist. The logical question: exist where? I have no answer. I don’t have arms, legs, or a body at all.

"Is this... something like my soul?"

Alright. Let’s think differently. I should take a look around. I squint into the darkness and start seeing something like glimmers or specks. When I look closer, I realize they’re stars.

“Am I... in space?”

***

As time passes, I get closer and closer to the stars. I’ve never seen them up this close before. I remember going to sci-fi movies in the cinema, but those CGI stars don't compare to this magnificence. You don't need to be an art expert to appreciate how beautiful they are. Like an endless night sky. You’d never see this in a city, and I doubt you’d find such beauty even in the wilderness. For some reason, I feel like I’m a comet among these stars.

***

I wonder how long I've been drifting among these stars. Days? Maybe weeks? I’ve completely lost track of time. And how could you tell time in space, anyway—everything's relative. Maybe not even a second has passed on Earth, but for me, it feels like forever—longer than I’d like.

***

The view ahead doesn’t seem to change at all, but that’s not true. Slowly but surely, I’m moving through space.

“The big question is: where?”

“We'll see.”

In my mind, I’ve already sung all the songs from my favorite rock bands. After that, oddly enough, I started humming Disney songs. I don’t even know how I ended up singing Elsa's famous song “Let It Go.” Oh, how I miss my old gasoline lighter... I really miss watching the flame dance on the wick and the smell of gasoline.

***

“Is it just me, or has that distant star grown larger than the others?”

“Or is my vision playing tricks on me?”

“Well, whatever, it’s all the same.”

The initial awe of the stars has long since faded. I’ve grown so tired of them that I don’t even notice their beauty anymore. But that’s not the worst part. The worst part about space is the silence. The cruel and merciless silence; it weighs heavily on my mind. It's as if I’m merging with it, letting it flow through me. It’s like this silence is consuming me.

“What if I stop thinking and become one with this oppressive silence?”

That thought unsettles me. After all, humans need company, just as society needs them. Maybe I’ll meet an intelligent being in this cosmic odyssey?

***

“Someone, please, talk to me, it doesn’t matter who or about what… Please... Anyone!”

I want to scream, but I can’t even move. Yet I still scream, only in my mind. The scream is truly terrifying. It’s like being stabbed in the back, and then another stab right after. This damn silence, damn it...

***

I don’t know what to think about anymore. It feels like my thoughts are becoming fewer. My mind is clouding, and I feel like I’m slowly losing my sanity. Little by little, I’m becoming less than human. I’m losing something important, but I can’t grasp what it is. The realization of that terrifies me… How much time will pass before I completely lose my mind and die in spirit?

***

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“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, IS THIS MY PERSONAL HELL?!”

...

“WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!”

...

“WILL SOMEONE JUST ANSWER ME?!”

***

Is it just me, or am I starting to forget my past? I don’t even remember what my name was in that life. I can’t remember the name of the person who killed me, or the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Only vague images remain, like shadows. Slowly but surely, my memory and identity are turning into a huge sieve. I feel like the fateful moment is nearing, after which there will only be darkness and silence in my mind.

***

...

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...

***

“What’s that?”

For the first time, I asked myself a question after I had stopped thinking. But then I turned my gaze to the thing that had caused me to ask. In the distance, I saw a star burning brighter than all the others. A bright yellow flame, like a beacon, it shone in the impenetrable darkness. My mind seemed to come back to life, and with a trembling soul, I moved toward this magnificent star.

***

I finally realized what that star was—it was the Sun. The Sun, over time, became closer and closer. My curiosity about the star grew as well. It burned so brightly—like a flame in the night. That star stirred up pleasant memories. At first, I didn’t understand, but then I realized that it seemed to be calling me. There were a few other planets nearby, but I didn’t pay them much attention—hypnotized, I flew toward the star. I hope I won’t burn up like that bear from the joke. Funny, why did I even remember that old story?

***

Slowly but surely, I was approaching the Sun. A lot of time had passed, and now the star almost filled my entire view. But it wasn’t the only thing grabbing my attention: next to it was a peculiar planet that looked very much like my home. But this Earth looked different. This planet had a moon, just like mine. Gray, small, and cold-looking, the moon was named “Luna”—I immediately knew it was her. The thought swirled in my mind that it was one big gray prison. I feel like someone is there… I can’t understand what this feeling is… It’s like I know it, but from where?

***

I could now clearly see how the star lived. It was as if it was breathing.

“How beautiful it is.”

I could distinctly observe a fascinating phenomenon. On the surface of the Sun, it was as if pillars of flame swirled like solar winds, like an aurora in the night sky, but even more magnificent. You could see numerous spots on the Sun.

“Am I imagining this, or do I understand the Sun?”

It seems I’ve finally lost my mind: somehow, I was communicating with the star. It was desperately crying for help; whenever I tried to respond, it went silent, and after some time, it would start calling out again, but much calmer, as if it understood that I had heard its call.

***

After a long while, the Sun became completely silent. But the star was at peace, the solar winds calmed a bit—it seemed to be waiting for the right moment.

“For what?”

Suddenly, a bright spark flared on the Sun’s surface. How did I not notice it before? It burned even brighter than the star itself. It seemed like the solar winds had caught this spark. Like a comet, the spark shot upward into space, leaving behind a trail of bright yellow tinged with red.

“Wait, hold on, is it coming toward me?”

“Hey, cut it out, can’t you see there's another object heading toward the Sun?”

“Mayday, respond.”

...

“Mayday, why aren’t you answering?”

...

“HEY, WILL SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING?”

"HEY, WE'RE ABOUT TO COLLIDE AND DIE!"

I shouted at the comet, but it showed no sign of changing its course. In fact, after I spoke, it seemed to rush toward me with even greater urgency.

"Just a bit more, and that’s it—I’m done for."

"But do I even deserve to live?"

"Can you even call this living? 'Surviving' feels more appropriate."

Engulfed in these thoughts, I didn’t notice how close the comet had come. It was now looming right in front of me.

"Five seconds until we crash."

"Five."

"Four."

"Three."

"Two."

"One."

I shut my eyes tight, bracing for the inevitable impact. But then... nothing. No shattering collision, no explosion of light. Instead, the comet absorbed me. Or maybe I absorbed it?

"Hey... what are you doing?"

Without warning, the comet dragged me along with it, yanking me away from my path toward the Sun. Now we were hurtling towards the Moon.

"Wait! What are you doing?!"

"I was heading for the Sun—why are you pulling me toward the Moon?"

Suddenly, a heaviness settled over me, like the weight of eternity itself pressing down. My awareness began to dim, slipping slowly, softly, into a deep and dreamless slumber. Perhaps, after all, this is the end of my torment. And if so—so be it. I have no regrets left. No emotions. No sense of anything at all...

***

“Oh... my head... it hurts so much... damn it.”

It feels like I got drunk as if it were my last day alive, and then someone bashed my head with a brick—so hard I’m lucky I don’t have a concussion.

“Wait, never mind the head, why does my whole body feel like it’s been beaten and stabbed?”

Everything aches, and there's this dull pain under my right shoulder. Is my shoulder broken? Breathing is shallow. It’s hard to take a breath without feeling a sharp sting—probably broken ribs.

“Alright, I need to figure out where I am.”

“I need to open my eyes.” … “Come on!” … “Damn it, I can’t.”

“Am I trapped under rubble?”

I’m clearly lying down, but I can’t figure out in what position. If I can’t open my eyes, I’ll have to rely on my other senses. Humans have five: sight, taste, smell, touch, and hearing. Let’s go in order: sight—not working. There’s a metallic taste in my mouth—likely blood, and a lot of it. I spit out the remnants of it. Breathing through my nose is difficult, but despite the pain, I can smell something—either I’m in some kind of abandoned place or a basement. There’s a distinct scent of crumbling concrete. Now for touch—I try to move, even just a little, to feel something… it’s difficult.

“Where are my clothes?”

I don’t feel cold, which is strange, and there’s a weight on my head. I also feel something heavy on my legs and chest. Am I wearing a helmet? And some kind of gear... armor? Now for hearing—I can make out voices, but can’t understand the words, though the language sounds oddly familiar. It’s definitely not English, or any human language for that matter. I can also hear someone crying—it’s not the sorrowful kind, though, more like tears of joy, as if a family is reuniting after a long time apart.

“What is this feeling?”

“It’s like I know that cry and the language they’re speaking.”

“But why does it feel so familiar?”

“That’s not the main issue right now.”

“I have to open my eyes somehow.”

I’ll try rubbing them with my elbow. Carefully, without making too much noise, I slowly move my elbow up to my face.

“Wait, why does my mouth feel elongated, like a predator’s snout?”

“And why is there fur on my arm?”

A growing sense of dread builds in my chest. I realize that if I keep thinking about this, I’m going to panic.

“Don’t panic—panicking is the last thing I need.”

“Distract yourself.”

“Right, what’s going on with my eyes?”

I start to carefully open my eyelids. My vision is completely blurry, as if I’m looking through smudged glasses. I blink several times to focus and make out a group of creatures—no more than eight of them. They’re all different, in various colors and sizes, each with its own distinct features. One of them even has a cute little cowboy hat, and another’s hairstyle looks like it’s straight out of a salon, though a bit tousled.

“Are those... horses?”

“No, they’re ponies.”

Six ponies stand in a semicircle, watching a pair of larger ones. Some are crying, others are softly cooing, and one is practically jumping for joy. The two in the center are clearly the focus of the others’ attention. Why do I think they’re family? Because everything about their posture, their facial expressions, the tears streaming down their faces screams of a family reunion after a long separation.

“Why do I have this strong feeling that they’re my family too?”

The ponies all look graceful, but not quite realistic. They have oversized eyes, and their coats come in a variety of colors—one has dark blue fur, and another’s fur is bright pink.

“Is this... a cartoon?” I wonder, noting how unrealistic the scene before me seems.

The more I think, the more questions I have, but no answers. I might as well listen to what that sweet pair is saying.

“So, what are they talking about?”

“Tia, I’m so glad it’s all over! I’m deeply sorry for what I’ve done, and I wholeheartedly ask for your forgiveness,” the blue pony said, her tears flowing with regret.

“Why do I understand every single word this pony just said?”

“How do I know this language?”

“If anyone should be apologizing, it’s me. I didn’t realize back then that no state affairs could be more important than family. Forgive me, Lu, for understanding this too late,” the white pony said gently, wrapping a wing around the blue one.

“Please, don’t blame yourself alone, we’re both at fault. Let’s live as loving sisters again, like we used to,” Luna added hesitantly.

“Wait, how did I just call her Luna?”

“What’s with this ‘Luna’?”

“Of course, Tia. I wanted to suggest that myself, but I thought you wouldn’t agree,” the blue pony lowered her head slowly in a gesture of apology.

“How could I ever refuse my sweet little sister?” the white pony said softly, hugging her sister even tighter.

“There’s that ‘Luna’ again, what’s happening to me?”

“Who am I even? Why is my memory such a blur, like everything is covered in fog?”

As I feel the panic closing in like a storm, I keep asking myself questions with no answers.

“I barely remember life before death. I recall drifting through space like a comet, losing the last remnants of my humanity and sanity. I remember a bright, flame-like yellow comet pulling me along.”

“Then I woke up here.”

“So who the hell am I?!”

I lower my gaze to my hands and see bruised, battered white hooves covered in copper—or maybe flaming—armor.

“Am I a... pony?” That was the first thought that broke through my mental fog, and then the panic hit me harder than ever.

“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, WHY DO I HAVE HOOVES INSTEAD OF HANDS?!”

“WHY DO I KNOW A LANGUAGE I NEVER STUDIED?!”

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE, AM I IN SOME KIND OF HORROR MOVIE?!”

“HOW DID I BECOME A PONY?!”

“Khah...” I choked out, coughing up blood in panic.

The scene before me starts to blur, my breathing becomes labored, and my heart races like mad. Cold sweat breaks out on my forehead. That’s it—I’m having a panic attack. Breathe in, breathe out. Repeat.

... “Damn it, why isn’t it working?”

“P-Princess Celestia, t-there’s s-something moving under the rubble,” said a trembling yellow pony, slowly and awkwardly approaching me.

“WHAT?”

“She said ‘Princess Celestia’, did I hear that right?”

There’s no mistake. I heard “Princess Celestia” clearly. Is this that childhood cartoon about friendship and magic? There were a ton of characters, both good and bad.

“So who the hell am I?”

“What are you talking about, Fluttershy?” Twilight asked, stepping closer to her shaking friend.

Now I recognized all of them. The main six were here: Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash. Along with them were Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, both with astonished looks on their faces.

“So, where am I, exactly?”

I don’t have much time to think. It seems like I’m buried under rubble, barely able to move. The old throne room looks half-abandoned. The walls are draped with dusty, faded banners, and there are window frames, but the windows themselves have long since shattered. From the structure of the place, I can immediately tell I’m in the Castle of the Two Sisters.

“I see something under the rubble too,” Twilight said, supporting her friend.

Twilight’s horn began to glow with purple light. She enveloped the rocks with her magic and started to lift them telekinetically. Once the rubble was cleared, all the ponies gasped in surprise when they saw me. But it was only for a second. Within moments, their faces turned cautious, and some looked ready to fight. I could tell that while a few were scared, others were preparing for battle.

“There’s no time to sit idly by… or rather, no time to stand still with hooves, but still,” I thought as I tried to slowly get up.

As I rose, I quickly realized I had no idea how to walk on four legs. If I fell, I probably wouldn’t get up again.

“So, what should I do?”

“I don’t know, maybe ask Celestia for help? She’s supposed to be a kind ruler; maybe she can help.”

“Khak… Celestia…” I started to speak, coughing up blood as I did.

But Celestia’s expression was anything but kind. Her eyes were filled with anger as she stared at me like I was a mortal enemy. It suddenly hit me—I must have interrupted their grand reunion and now posed a serious threat to her.

“But why?”

“What did I do to make the most benevolent and forgiving pony so furious?”

I glanced down at myself. From beneath the helmet, I could see a long horn sticking out. So I could use magic, which was comforting. How to use it was another question. I looked back and saw wings. One was broken, the other was folded but also damaged.

“So, I have a horn and wings—an alicorn.”

“But who am I then?”

There are very few alicorns in this world, and each of them is different. However, I have white fur, with shades of orange, almost identical to Celestia's.

"What does that mean?"

"DAYBREAKER!" Celestia angrily exclaimed, using the Royal Canterlot Voice. Her horn lit up, and it was clear she was preparing some powerful spell.

My instincts were screaming at me to run as fast as possible, or else nothing would be left of me here. Almost on autopilot, I quickly turned around, ready to sprint with all my strength. The movement was so painful, as if someone had hit my broken ribs again. But it didn’t stop me. My will to live wouldn’t let me fall here so easily. I tucked my legs under me and surged forward into a run.

"I was running for my life, not even thinking about fighting her!" — I suddenly thought.

THUD!

I tripped over a rock and fell with a thud, choking on blood. A sharp pain pierced through me. Suddenly, my legs failed me; The pain was so intense that tears streamed down my face. Just a little more of the existential horror creeping over me, and I would truly start sobbing.

“Cough... c-cough,” spitting blood and drenched in tears, I watched as Celestia and the others approached.

"The music didn’t play for long, the brave lad didn’t dance for long."

"Looks like this is the end..."

My eyelids began to betray me, closing heavily. I tried to lift them, but it was as if I was trying to do the impossible. With my eyes closed, I strained to listen to the tense conversation happening nearby, but no matter how hard I tried, my consciousness was slipping away. A short second life — I didn’t even really get to live. Well, that's fine, I'll be going to heaven now, right?