“Here comes an usher, we gotta get out of here!”
“Ok, ready, let’s go!”
The minotaur climbed to his hooves and charged for the door, his lookout close behind.
“Excuse me, ticket please! Excuse—”
The usher’s demand was cut off by the slamming exit – Iron Will shoved a convenient dumpster in front of the door.
“What a place for a dead-drop,” Tempest Shadow muttered as they emerged from the alleyway behind the theatre onto a busy street where they were lost in the foot traffic.
—
While Tempest distracted library staff, Will leaned across the checkout desk and extracted something from a drawer. She had no clue what he could want here, but he had requested ‘discreet help’ in return for a portion of the proceeds and penniless wanderers couldn't be too particular about what jobs they accepted.
—
“Coast is clear,” she said as he reached the ground. “But look at you climb, what are you, some kind of goat?”
“Iron Will is a minotaur!” he protested.
“No need to get mino-tart about it. Far be it from me to question my employer, but what did you want up there, anyway?”
“The light gem from the top of a police wagon. For the scavenger hunt.”
“A scavenger hunt?” Tempest inquired sharply. “Is that what we’ve been doing?”
“Sure, why else would I want gum from the underside of a theatre seat, or a blank library card, or a blinking blue gem?”
“At first I thought you were a smuggler or some kind of spy, and then it just got weirder.”
“No, it’s all above board. Except for the fact that none of the contestants are supposed to have help. But I really need to win this.”
“Must be quite a prize if you’re so desperate for just half of it.”
“Iron Will only wants one thing, the rest will be yours.”
“What else do we have to find?”
“I’ve got a list…”
—
“Next?”
“Twenty Eight, an ‘Andy’s Mint’ like the maids at a fancy hotel leave on your pillow. I figure if we just walk like we know exactly where we’re going during checkout, the front desk will be too busy to challenge us and we can snag one from the cleaners’ supply cart.”
“Five for a bit at the corner market.”
“That’s—”
“Cheating?” she asked.
“—oh. Yeah.”
—
“Forty done.”
Tempest dropped the timberwolf tooth into Will’s bag as they skulked out of the zoological gardens.
“Not bad,” he agreed. “Let’s call it a day and meet up in the morning. Tell you what, I’ll bring donuts. Where’re you staying?”
“The culvert under 3rd Ave. Just bang on the grate in the middle of the street and I’ll be right out.”
“Where‽”
“There’s a old pallet-board lodged in the pipe, it keeps me out of the water as long as I don’t roll off in my sleep.”
“Why?”
“I’m homeless. That’s why I was so eager to accept a sketchy job, from a suspicious minotaur, no questions asked.”
“What do you eat?”
“Well, today I had four mints that somecreature didn’t need.”
“By Taura, that’s no good. Stay at my place.”
“I’m not that desperate yet.”
“I have a guest room, you donkey!”
“It better have a lock on the door, you goat!”
—
“Here’s the guest room. Please note that the door does lock.”
“Er, sorry about that, you didn’t deserve that dig. Thanks for dinner, that wasn’t in our original agreement.”
“You helped Iron Will greatly today! I can reward good work, can’t I? Anyway, follow the red string to get to the bathroom and the blue string to get to the kitchen in the morning. I have half a pan of my mother’s olive and spinach omelet I’ll be heating up for breakfast.”
—
“So what’s this scavenger hunt about?” Tempest asked around a mouthful of omelet.
“Hmm? Its a fundraiser for the orphanage.”
Tempest Shadow pushed her chair back from the table, suddenly on the verge of anger.
“We’re not cheating the orphans are we?”
“Of course not. One hundred searchers each paid five hundred bits to join the hunt. Ninety percent of that has already gone to the foundation for the orphanage Hearthwarming party. The rest paid for the prize that we’re going to win. You gonna finish that?”
Tempest scooted back to the table.
“Yes, yes I am. Tell your dam it’s really good.”
—
“Do you really have to do that?”
Tempest slowly exhaled through her nose, savoring her after breakfast smoke.
“Forty one, a smoked cigar butt. Might as well enjoy it.”
The cloud around them grew thicker as she continued to puff away.
“I’m not enjoying it.”
“Take a drag, sissy. You won’t be able to smell it if you smoke it.”
Iron Will tentatively inhaled through the proffered cigar.
“See?”
“I guess I don’t notice it as much.”
“What’d I tell you? A couple more puffs and we can add it to the collection.”
—
“A green pebble,” Will said.
“Lemme see.” She grabbed the list. “That’s what I thought, you goat, a Gree’n pebble, not green.”
“Huh?”
“From the Isle of Gree. Commonly used in cheap jewelry and to decorate weapons and armor.”
“Where do we find one of those?”
Tempest was already prying at a stone set in the ornamented pommel of her short sword.
“It’s a good thing you know somepony who doesn’t care about looking fancy when she fights.”
—
“Ew. For that we’re definitely buying one at the drugstore.”
“No contest,” Will agreed.
The purchased item found itself thrown away and the wrapper added to their collection and another tick mark added to the list.
—
“I can’t reach! You try it.”
“I know you’re injured, but can you magic it out?”
“Black iron. I can’t cast through the bars.”
“Can you shoot something through?”
“And blow it up with a burst of fireworks? There won’t be anything left to turn in. You try, you have those cloven hooves. Pinchy, pinchy! Maybe you can catch the whole duck.”
“What do you—” Will strained as he reached his foreleg through the iron fence “—want the duck for?”
“Quack!”
The duck protested the extraction of a single feather for the scavenger hunt.
“Maybe we can have eggs for breakfast.”
“It’s a boy duck, you donkey. I’ll buy eggs.”
“Just trying to save you a few bits, goat.”
“Let’s just call it a day. We’ve got tomorrow morning to find the rest.”
—
“Only twenty left for us to find today, Tempest.”
“I think that’s how many pancakes I ate.”
“I’ve never seen a pony eat so much. Why’re you homeless?”
“My friends betrayed me, so I left home. I don’t need them. Let’s get to work.”
—
“Ninety two!”
“That’s a carpet runner stair rod finial!”
“It looks just like a curtain rod finial. They’ll never know, that’s half the challenge on one of these hunts.”
—
“Number one hundred, in the bag.”
“I couldn't have done this without you, pony.”
“Don’t get maudlin now, we need to get one more thing so you can go collect your prize.”
“I’m going now, and you’re coming with me to collect our prize.”
“But you’re not done yet! What’s number one oh one on the list? Maybe I can find—”
“A friend.”
—
“I can’t believe you raised your hoof when they asked if anyone cheated!”
“I may have cheated but I don’t lie.”
“Aaagh! I thought we would end up disqualified!”
“It’s a good thing that everybody cheated, then.”
“Yeah, and it’s even better that we cheated best.”
“We sure did, pony.”
“And now?”
“And now, as we agreed, Iron Will claims one item and leaves the rest for you.”
The minotaur rummaged through the basket and removed his one item.
“What is that?”
Pride filled his voice as he explained.
“This is a one of a kind collectible bobble-head of Queen Pasiphaë. Iron Will thinks that a certain lady minotaur will be tickled pink to receive it as a gift.”
“You rascal, you. I just hope I can can sell the rest of the loot for enough bits to buy some food.”
“Why? I don’t understand.”
“I told you, I need supplies to make it over the mountains before they’re impassible for the winter.”
“But the rest of the prize is food.”
Tempest looked closer at the prize basket. Sure enough it was packed full with a collection of rich, festive, high calorie foods, enough to put kilos of extra weight on an entire party full of revelers. Perhaps a bit fancy, but sufficient for fueling a late-season trek across the frigid mountains.
“This… will do,” she admitted, raising a hoof. “It’s been interesting working with you.”
“So this is goodbye?” he asked as they shook. “Iron Will’s guest room is available if you would like to overwinter.”
“If you make your play, your lady friend might prefer to have some privacy in the labyrinth.”
“If it becomes an issue I’ll cut your guide strings, and if you forget to follow the left-hoof-rule we won’t see you until spring anyway.”
“Thanks, but I need to get over the mountains, and I’m not really the type of pony who collects close friends. Better off at a distance. Maybe I’ll send you a postcard.So this is goodbye unless you know a hornmancer who can heal me.”
“Maybe if you—”
“No maybes! Say it like you mean it!”
Iron Will snorted, his breath steaming in the chill air. The snow would come soon.
“If your horn looks chewed, ask the Storm Dude!”
“Hah. The rhyme sounds nice and assertive. And thanks, I’ll keep my eyes open for this Storm guy.”
