Anon Shoots Rainbow Dash With a Barrett M82
The soft and gentle sound of wings flapping was just barely audible in Anon's house. Rainbow Dash, the element of loyalty herself had broken in to Anon's house with surprising ease. Something everyone around Ponyville found odd was that Anon had set up absolutely no security in or around his house. Most ponies had an alarm to let them know if a window had been broken, but Anon had nothing, this made Rainbow Dash's plan so much easier.
She had been planning to prank Anon after he had completely embarrassed her in front of the entire town. Not to get in to specifics but he had explained why Spitfire was one thousand times cooler than Rainbow Dash in only a few words. Those words being " She's not a self centered prick." Just thinking about the words made Rainbow Dash shiver.
So what was the best way to get back at Anon? To break in to his house at three am and set up an extremely intricate device that would drop a bag of flour on his head at exactly six in the morning. And since Anon had no security her plan was fool proof. Atleast that's what she told herself.
After two minutes of searching she finally found Anon's room. Inside of the room wss practically pitch black but she could make out the outline of the bed. She lightly chuckled to herself as she toom a flashlight out the saddle bag she and held it in her mouth. She looked at Anon's bed where he was sleeping and the wall opposite it. It was perfect. She took a small clock and some tape out if her saddle bag and flew over to the wall. She chuckled slightly louder, yet it was not above a whisper.
Despite being extremely quite she had unknowingly awoken the worst thing in the universe. A human with an intruder in his home. Anon's eyes slowly opened and he sat up silently. His eyes locked on to the chuckling pegisus opposite him. Without saying a word he turned his body and pulled something extremely long and heavy out from under his pillow and sat it next to him. A Berrett M 82, an extremely large semi automatic anti-material rifle that fires .50 caliber rounds. Where he got it, we may never know.
Anon moved the barrel of the gun slightly to the left and pulled the trigger. In less than one second a blinding light filled the room for a moment, accompanied by a glass shattering bang. Something wet hit Anon's face but he was too tired to care. He picked up the rifle and slid it back under his pillow before laying back in to his bed to get some much deserved rest.
Ah, yes Saturday morning. Anon's favourite day. No work, no worries and he got to hang out with his friends all day. He smiled and yawned before sitting up in bed and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. After blinking a few times he took note of the stain on his wall. Actually let me rephrase that. THE MASSIVE RED STAIN ON HIS WALL THAT ALSO COVER THE CELLING FLOOR AND HALF OF HIS BED!
He blinked once, and then again.
"Oh yeah." He said. "Someone broke in last night."
Truthfully he didn't seem all that concerned. Someone who was not invited in to.his house was in his house, so he dealt with it in the most civilised manner he knew at three in the morning. That being to fucking kill anyone who enters his home. He swung his legs out of his bed and made his way towards his bedroom door. As he passed the red blood stain he saw some blue feathers mixed in with the stain. They seemed awfully familiar to him.
Looking at the floor he saw a saddle bag that had been stained red as well. Despite it's colour he could make out a name. "Rainbow Dash."
"Ah, shit..."
A black bin bag was firmly dropped on to Twilight's desk. A few blue feathers were sticking out the top of it and it was leaking a red liquid.
"Umm... Anon, what is this?" Twilight asked.
"What is left of Rainbow Dash after i shot her." Anon said bluntly.
Twilight froze and shook her head.
"Excuse but, WHAT THE FUCK ANON!" Twilight yelled. "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU SHOOT RAINBOW DASH, AND WHAT WITH?"
"First question, she broke in to my house and I thought she was a robber, so I defended my home as I should. Second question, I shot her with a Barrett M 82."
Twilight looked dumbfounded. She looked at Anon,and then at the bag, and then at Anon again.
"The fuck is a Barrett?" Twilight said.
"Oh just one of those gun things I was telling you about a few weeks ago." Anon said with a proud smile.
Twilight looked back at the bag on her desk.
"A-Anon... I don't even know what to say to you. You technically didn't murder Rainbow Dash since by Equestria law your allowed to defend your home by any means, but this? This is just insane."
Anon simply nodded and let out a sheepish chuckle.
"Yeah, it might have been a little overboard this time around." Anon said. "Anyway, good luck dealing with this."
"Wait, what?" Before Twilight could say anything else Anon was out the door. "You son of a bitch!"
She sighed and stared at the bag. After alot of hesitation she opened it and looked in. Inside the bag was Rainbow Dash's saddle bag, alot of blood and a few feathers. Twilight looked up from the bag at her door, one of her eye lids twitching.
"Damn you Anon..." She said before tying the bag shut.
Anon sat on the edge of his bed and looked up at the massive bloody stain that covered part of his room.
"This would be nice if it wasn't blood." He said to himself. "Welp, may as well get to work cleaning this." He got up and made his way to his kitchen to grab a step ladder, some sponges, and lots of water and hydrogen peroxide.
Meanwhile Twilight had taken the bin bag all the way to the opposite side of the Everfree forster to drop the bag off a cliff.
"Never again..." Twilight said.
She stood there for a few moments before closing her eyes and yelling.
"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL ANON!"
Author's Note
This is probably the biggest amount of bullshit I have ever wrote yet I did enjoy writing it.
Hope you enjoyed it.