Sunny looked closely at her clipboard and nodded. "OK then," she said. "We've got a number of positions to fill. Two jammers, four blockers, and two pivot blockers." She then glanced down to the assembled people at the rink. "OK then, we've got eight positions to fill, so only eight of you will be joining the team."

"What role will you fill?" asked somebody else.

Sunny smiled. "That's easy. Each team needs a Captain. That's me."

"That's not fair!" said somebody else.

"Are you sure you're qualified?"

"Well, I didn't see anybody else volunteer," Sunny replied, before turning to a board. "Just to ensure everybody is up to speed, I'll explain how this works. Each round of a roller derby match is termed a Jam. On the track during a jam are five people per team- a jammer and four blockers. The jammers are placed on the back line here (Sunny indicated to the line with a stick), and the blockers are placed on the front line here (she pointed again). The objective of the jammer is to get past the blockers- for each one they lap, they get a point. The blockers on our team are supposed to help our jammer get through, whilst preventing the jammer of the other team from doing the same. Any skater who breaks the rules is placed in the penalty box, or 'sin bin' as it's called in some sports, for thirty seconds."

Sunny nodded as she finished. "So, with all that established, let's play a test game, shall we?"

Sunny hammered around the track, stunned at the chaos unfolding around her. A ball was being bounced from player to player to represent the jammer moving about the course, but the skaters were struggling to find their balance amidst the confusion, and several slammed into one another.

"Zipp, we need your help to untangle them!" Sunny called.

"On my way!" Zipp answered, as she sped forward to help. Unfortunately, one of the other skaters was holding onto the ball, and Zipp bounced off it and landed in a nearby bin.

Sunny, in the meantime, slammed straight into the other players and knocked them over, causing them all to collapse in a heap on the floor.

Whilst Pipp helped pull everybody up, Sunny skated over to a bench and sat down, looking glum.

"Is something wrong?" Pipp asked, as she walked over.

"Whatever gave you that impression?" Sunny said.

"You look really glum," Pipp said, missing Sunny's sarcasm.

Sunny sighed. "I just hoped tryouts would be better, that's all."

"Better?" Pipp said. "They were trying their best and having fun. That's what matters."

"But what if our best isn't good enough?" Sunny asked, throwing her arms up in the air. "We're up against really good teams. I guess I know how Sisyphus felt."

"Our greatest glory is not in falling, but in rising every time we fall," Argyle said, who had just arrived to pick Sunny up. "Remember when I told you that?"

"When I was first learning to skate," Sunny said.

"Just as you were about to give up on it altogether!" Argyle said. "From that point onwards you skated practically every chance you could. This is the same- I saw what happened, and whilst it wasn't perfect it's a start. When you've hit rok bottom, the only way is up."

"I thought it was Essex," Pipp said.

"That show is rubbish," Sunny said.

"I know," Pipp replied.

Sunny looked around. "Hang on a second, where did everybody go?"

Outside, a woman with creamy skin and red and green hair was talking to some of the people who had tried out. "You made the right choice joining the Falmouth Falcons," she said. "I'm Kiki Kaboom, and that's Tina Two-Bits." She pointed to a woman with blue skin and blue and green hair. "Welcome aboard."

"I always wanted to be with a proper team," said one person.

"Well, for now you're on backup duty," Tina said. "But come the Derby proper it'll be all hands on deck. Boy is that quite the story."

So Tina began. "It begins thousands of years ago, when the ancients invented the roller skate, the wheel along with it. They realised quickly this was an amazing way to get around, and wanted to put their skills to the test. The only problem was the landscape wasn't well suited for this sort of sport, with a lack of curves and straight lines.

"So, they built vast stadia for competing in, some of which you can still see today. The hippodrome, the Colosseum, and many others. Ancient figures jammed and blocked for centuries, and when the lost art was rediscovered in the 19th Century we took it right back up again."

Tina smiled. "And that's how we ended up where we are today."

"That doesn't make any sense!"

Tina looked up to see Sunny walking towards her. "Oh look, it's purple hair. Have you been out in the sun too long? You look like a lobster!"

Sunny ignored the insult, as she was quite good at trash talk herself. "The roller skate was invented in the 1760s, but the modern skate didn't appear until the 1860s with the invention of the Plimpton Skate. The first recorded roller derby game was in the 1930s, not Roman times. And not only that the wheel long predates the roller skate! Otherwise life would be such a drag!"

The crowd groaned at the awful pun.

Tina walked over. "It only makes no sense to you because you're not a real skater. You're just a silly kid with ideas above her station cosplaying as a skater."

Pipp glanced over. "I can't see any ideas above the station."

"Not what that means, but thank you for fulfilling the education quota," Sunny said. "And I'm actually pretty skilled. I've been to this rink more times than you've had hot dinners."

"That's statistically impossible," Tina said.

"How about we go settle this in our native environment?" Sunny suggested.

"How about the Derby? You bring your band of cosplayers and see how badly you get your butts kicked?"

"I think you'll find your butt is the one that's getting kicked!" Sunny said confidently.

Tina backed up, smirking. "And just like that she fell into our trap. It really does amaze me- how the child of a college professor can be so incredibly stupid!"

She and Kiki skated off, laughing, whilst Sunny put her head in her hands. "What have I done?"

"What's happened, Sunny?" a voice asked. Sunny turned to see her dad standing there. "I can tell something's wrong."

Sunny sighed. "Dad, I just did something really stupid." She then explained what had happened, fully expecting a lecture at the end of it.

Instead, Argyle drew her into a hug. "We've all done things we regret," he said simply. "Whilst it is true you should think things through before committing to them, I fully accept this is something you care about. And I'll support you every step of the way."

Sunny nodded as best she could. "Thanks, dad. I hope my friends are just as understanding."

"You did what?" Zipp asked, looking shocked.

"What were you thinking?" Pipp demanded.

Sunny sat slumped at the table outside the shed. "I lost my temper, OK? Somehow Tina knows how to push my buttons!"

"You entered us into a competition we had no chance of winning?" Zipp said. "Just because of some trash talk?"

"She insulted me directly!" Sunny snapped. "Zipp, which side are you on? Hers, or Falmouth's? Besides, if you think I can't form a team why are we even here? Tina and her team are bullies, and we can't let bullies win."

Zipp tried a different tone. "Sunny, I know that. But we're seriously underprepared. We lack the gear or the training to compete at that level. If we were to enter as we are we'd be flattened like pancakes!"

"The pancakes aren't ready yet!" Izzy said.

"Not what Zipp meant," Hitch said.

"But we can train, right?" Pipp asked. "How about we give it a shot?"

Hitch looked at a notebook. "Right, we'll need new skates, armour plating, uniforms, and spare wheels."

"Rarity could handle the uniforms," Pipp said. "Provided we can get the order in to her in time."

"We can practice up at Truro," Izzy pointed out. "I'm game. I'm here to stand by my friends!"

"So, what are we waiting for?"

"Sunny, do you think there should be music?" Pipp suggested.

"Why?"

"I was watching training videos on YouTube and noticed a lot of teams practice to music. And I've been wanting to try out a new cover of mine!"

"If you think it'll help."

So Pipp set her gear and started singing, alongside a funk backing.

Hitch looked at Zipp in confusion. "Deep Purple? Is it just me or did things just get weird?"

Zipp shook her head. "Given all we've been through over the past two years, this is the weird bit to you?"

"That worked a treat!" Sunny said. "At this rate we'll be winning the Derby in no time!"

"You'll be doing what?" asked a voice. The team turned to see Tracy standing there, a disapproving scowl on her face.

"I entered us into the Derby by mistake, but we-"

"Sunny, it's suicide. You can't go there as a new team. You'll be slaughtered."

"I can't let the Falcons bully and push other teams around. They need to have their egos taken down a peg."

Tracy shook her head. "Is this about their ego or yours? You've got guts, and I admire that, but if you want to make a complete fool of yourself, you're doing it on your own."

Suddenly, Argyle spoke. "Whatever happened to the fire-eating Tracy Tailspin I knew? Whilst I know this is a challenge, and I'm hardly a spring chicken myself, this is a real chance to prove rookies do have a place in the sport. Remember our win against the Tinsley Titans? A small team took out veterans. This is our chance to do that for a new generation!"

Tracy sighed. "I have no idea how you keep roping me into these things, Argyle."

Author's Note

This chapter is an adaption of the second Kenbucky Roller Derby comic. As I'm not too familiar with the sport myself I'm glad they included an explanation of how it worked.

The Only Way is Essex is a reality TV show based around the lives of people from Essex, a county in southern England. The show is rather unpopular for helping to purpetuate negative stereotypes about residents of the region, most notably the Essex Girl stereotype (the rough US equivalent is the Valley Girl).

And now, with the gang in the derby, things are only going to hot up. Hold onto your hats, this is gonna be a wild ride!